How To Stop Judging People
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
- This video explains 3 ways for how to stop judging people. Stop trying to stop judging through discipline. I will help you to identify and address the causes of why you judge people.
If you try to stop judging people by trying to control your judgments or stop your negative thoughts, it will just create internal conflict and you may end up judging yourself for your failure to stop judging. The reason why we judge people is because it gives us a sense that we are "better" than others in a particular way, which "improves" our self-image, which gives us the sense that we are safer. I hope that this video for how to stop judging people can help you let go of this mechanism that creates much more pain than comfort.
Would you like support through 1-on-1 sessions? Click here: noahelkrief.co...
I judge people in a way that is all about protecting myself. I'm constantly judging people's goodness vs badness because I'm scared they'll harm me psychologically. Manipulate me. Throw me away. This means I've ended up villifying a lot ofthose who've come close to me. It's pretty harsh. But I really do see danger in them. I never thought to imagine myself as the villain.
Great insight. None of us are villains, even those who the masses might deem as pure evil. We're all protecting ourselves in our own ways based on what we've been taught and believe. This judgment can be both changed and accepted gracefully
Let'sMakeBeats Nice observation. Me too but for different reasons. I think if we can actually see and understand our errors then we are half way to changing our ways. Good luck with your journey. X
feels great to know I’m Not the only one who feels this way , are you better at not judging people?
Noah is just a gift sent from heaven
For me it’s the opposite.. I assume I’m always too ugly, too boring, too stupid and I see everyone else as more attractive, smarter and better than me
@@wildone106 for me it is stupid and brave at same time that you think like this. Stupid because your judgements are most probably wrong. And brave because that there not many people who will berate themselves.
Nothing matters other than you feel good about your body. Nothing else. You should be one who should feel comfortable in your skin.
The world could use more Noahs!
Greg Audino ♥️😊
Abdullah Alsultan agree!!!
I came to find ways to stop judging others, and I got one of the most intensive therapy sessions of my life. It took me about an hour to complete the video, it really did, because I had to press pause every 30 seconds to really think about what you said. And what you said is 100 percent true for me. It really hit me deep. Now I also understand why I feel this constant pressure and anxiety in my life. After lots of crying in the past hour, I finally feel a sense of calm. I feel like I understand myself better now. And I also know what I want to work on. So thank you, Noah, for this incredibly insightful video. You really are helping a lot of people!
Noah you are incredible,i love you from my heart,you changed my perspective about life and people and myself,i feel peace ❤️
Noah, you are an incredible human being. I follow you for a long long time, and you helped me in so many ways.
I just want to say Thank you. Thank you so much.
What a beautiful, enlightened video. Thank you
Noah, thank U 4 another tool that I can add 2 my arsenal 2 become a better human being. I have been judging a certain person 4 something that they did, and I can see the wrong that I'm committing by holding them 2 a lower standard. Nobody deserves 2 be treated with such disrespect. I love U brother, do not stop your mission, the world needs more human beings like U.
Great reflection! The person you're judging isn't defined by their one action, and neither are you!
Wow that's powerful well said brother thank you. Our worth is based on Love and we are all Love.
Love your point on finding self worth in effectively vanity metrics, such as how thin you are. Substance comes from values, not focusing on how people look or act, but focusing on yourself, ensuring you live life according to your beliefs and way of being
What I usually found myself doing is judging my coworkers based on how “efficient” they can be while doing a task, and with this video you really have open my eyes to the truth I kinda unconsciously wanted to hide, you have made me realize that my worth is not about how “efficient” I can be. And it really got me thinking, really hard about choices I’ve made. Thank you so much for this video. And it’s kinda funny because I was meditating a few hours ago and I was thinking about judgement, and why do we judge and now here I am watching this video.
NoryB I judge coworkers who get away with fraud and think it ok to put team members safety at risk to make themselves look better toward management I guess it what everyone saying here we judge people to protect ourselves but I think it is healthy to not judge all the time it create a better relationship. I tried it today after watching this with my family it making me more open to being more kind and loving thank Noah✌️
thanks for having made this video, just changed my life.
I was just coming to this conclusion about myself when I saw your video. It explains a lot and I know where my judgements have come from. I’m hoping that at 60 years of age that there is time to make me a nicer person. Seriously, thank you very much Noah. I needed some help.
I judge and hate many people, at work, home, where ever I am I feel that I will hate someone before I'll like them, then I realized who is the person I hate the most,.....ME!
Great that you can come to that realization! Next up, steps towards fixing it. Keep it up!
This is very powerful and very easy to understand. I wished i've heard this before as simple as you put it. Thanks man!
As a TH-cam life coach myself Noah I cdnt agree more. In this era of social media it is getting much easier to make judgements. This gets in the way of success.
Loving this so so much I definitely notice my judgement has gotten so much better & this is the first video I came across to be read helpful & eye opening instead of trying to fight our bad thoughts you teach us how to manage & work with them thank you❤️
Ah timely message once again! Also, I appreciated the exercise..imaging being the opposite.
I’ve been learning about evolutionary psychology and it’s fascinating just how fast our brains can compute the stimulus around us..making judgements upon judgements for any and all things in both our immediate and imagined environment. This part of our mind - our ego mind being primarily a survival computing device. And because we are tribal/social creatures, our brains are particularly skilled at assessing what its tribe would deem valuable or not - for the prime objective of thus increasing our chances of survival.
Eckhart Tolle describes the ego that so desperately wants to make itself more solid/more real/more safe by energizing itself through any means possible i.e. feeling superior/inferior, judgement, acquisition of objects, titles, knowledge etc. I’d say that anything that is eternal would not feel such insecurity by comparison. This to us may be a sort of proof that the ego in fact is NOT “real”. I believe that is what is described in A Course in Miracles when it says “nothing real can be threatened and nothing unreal exists” Sorry for the meandering rant. Great video!
Great blend of spirituality and psychology!
I’m really enjoying your new content! Evolving and change is what it’s all about . Thank you!
My God you are fantastic such a profound analysis
I'm with you,, great perspective 🙏
Thank you so much! 🙏🏻💗
Hi Noah. I smiled really wide when you mentioned the 'special' little identity that I perceive it as The Victim :)). It's like everyone can be happy except me because of my difficulties and I judge myself for not having the ability to feel happy.
What a confused child! I can take care of it now :) Thank you.
Thank you!
A very good explanation!
Hey Noah! I love u man.
Thank you for your videos man they have been really helpful in my journey. At some point I would love if you made a video about feeling safe. With the state of our world, health complications, etc, I just don't feel safe a lot and its a really bad feeling.
Thank you!
So I think based on this, the axis on which I primarily judge people on is based on whether I precieve them as kind/unkind, selfless/selfish, tolerant/intolerant etc. which to me seems like a good axis to judge people on ie. the content of your character. the problem of course is that no one is perfect and it is impossible to be 100% loving and giving all the time, so it is unrealistic to expect it of myself and unrealistic to expect it of others. But at the same time it is prudent to protect myself from people who would hurt me, and as a result I feel unsafe around people I deem to be intolerant of me as I don't know if they will hurt me or not. It would be very hard to love someone who wanted me dead, for example. But where is the line? if I draw the line too close, I miss out on potential productive relationships, and it becomes impossible. But if I draw the line too far, I might let people in I shouldn't and put myself in emotional or even physical danger.
And it is true that the idea of me hurting someone else, of me being selfish/unloving etc. is itself a terrifying idea as I want to see myself as a good person. I genuinely try to be empathetic to other people's needs but ultimately that sometimes leaves me ignoring my own.
I don't have any clear solutions here, these are just the things I thought about when listening to this video.
but on the point about imagining a child, if a child did something mean or hurtful I would not blame them, I would say they don't know any better and would hope I or someone else could guide them into understanding why being hurtful is not okay. But I tend to hold adults to a higher standard, I cling to the idea that adults should "know better" though admittedly I don't know everything myself.
I feel like I say this everytime you post a video, but seriously, that's so helpful. Thank you so much.
ill work at it. thankn you
I just realized that the reason why my mom always put me down in front of her friends was because she wanted to feel worthy, loveable and safe. And now I can completely forgive her. Thank you 💕
Amazing stuff! Thanks for pouring from the heart!
Thankyou
Hey Noah could you do an episode on addiction/emotional eating please. I thanks you for all your video's
i want to commit to trying this out for a solid week, just to see what will happen, thank you so much for your videos
Nothing like putting ideas into practice!
I love your videos. Can you do more on grief/depression? Thank you. God bless 🙏😇♥️
You seem very happy Noah.👍
Thank you Noah. I first saw you on BATGAP and have been watching since. Please keep sharing
Watched this at least 5 times so far, very therapeutic and insightful!
Can I ask. What if I’m always judging myself and never really judge manny people? X
It's often harder to show compassion to others than to ourselves. You're doing your best I'm sure. Take some time to think about how well-intentioned you are and how much good you've provided in the lives of others.
This is beautiful Noah, pure truth
Love your work Noah. Thank you.
Don't try to stop judging by force, instead try to understand why we do it
1. Acknowledge what are we trying to get from judging people
Mostly because we want to to feel better about ourselves. When we judge people, at the same time we also unconsciously judge that we are better than others.
2. Find out what specific themes we are judging people on.
When we judge others, subconsciously we make that judgement as a measure of someone's worth. Ourselves' worth.
Ex : if we judge people to be stupid or attractive, then we measure someone's worth from their cleverness or beauty.
"How much love I get is based on how smart or attractive I am"
3. Feel the pain of the opposite
When we judge people to be stupid or lazy or unattractive, we are terrified to feel and believe we are not smart or lazy or unattractive
Close your eyes and imagine yourself in those positions you judge others on.
Feel the pain and hurt, let that pain course through you and leave you.
I dont judge people negatively. I just judge people like they are better than me, and therefore have all right to look down on me and hurt me. Better be alone and never get out of my little box.
=/
Long live ray stevens because everything is beautiful
Thank you Noah
Please don’t leave us for along time
All love for you❤️ ❤️❤️
What happens when you judge someone for judging people..
Glad you're back bro, your videos helped me a lot back then and they're still on point today!
Thank you again for sharing your insight.
A good reminder. Thanks!
Noah, I love you. I cried, I knew that i judged but I didn`t know why. I thought that I was better, because I made the ''good'' decisions, that it made me a better person, I was judging my ex fiancee because I thought she was bad because she made the wrong judgment. Thank you for this amazing gift, thank you. Love you.
That was great! Needed a path to try
Mahalo 😊
This video helped me the most amongst your videos. Thank you
Noah, help! I judge others to be better than me constantly. Not because I think it makes me special but actually because I think it is true and it makes me feel terrible. Most often the theme is ..."she is a better mother than me" " she has a way nicer figure" and " she is married and I am divorced, there is something wrong with me." I can see what you are saying that those are obviously what I subconsciously think make me worthy, but I don't understand why I do it so much....I just feel crappy most days because I can never measure up.....not a good enough mother, not pretty enough, not successful in my love life.
I would say question whether those thoughts are actually true or not. Why is it that you think you are a bad mother? is this for a logical reason or is just a vague feeling? if you can identify specific reasons you feel this way, you can maybe work to change it - for example if you think "I am a bad mother because I forgot to pick my kid up from school" (just a random example) then you can analyze that behavior and try to fix it - maybe come up with ways to set reminders so you won't forget, for example. But chances are, there is not a logical reason, in which case your thoughts are probably not true. remind yourself of all the things that make you a good mother.
Also in general just try being kinder to yourself. would you tell another woman to her face that she was ugly, a bad mother etc.? probably not. so why are you telling it to yourself? be gentle with yourself.
@@mermaidismyname thank you!!!! I definitely think self compassion is a very weak point for me.
You are kinda underated. I love your vids
Noah how did you get this WISDOM
This is the best video on how to stop judging I ever heard. Just watching your unconditional love is healing.
It is the first time I say this on TH-cam:
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.
I MISSED YOUR VIDEOS SOOOOO MUCH!!!!
I judge people who I feel are mean or unkind. This makes a lot of sense because I do get my sense of worth from being nice and kind to people. I act nice even if I don't feel like it and sometimes I'm overly nice. I also harshly judge judgmental people. There's a conundrum. :)
It's not about being "less worthy of love", but rather *"less likely to experience love"* because I'm not as attractive as others.
There are scientific studies that show attractive people have life easier. Should I ignore scientific facts?
I've known far too many judgemental people who were actually just toxic people. I appreciate nice people.
Are you aware that that very sentence in itself is highly judgemental? (in the sense of 'look at these people, they are judgemental and toxic, they are inferior to me, i'm better, i'm not judgemental and not toxic').
Not rhat it's bad to do that, (as Noah said, it is a survival strategy to make one feel safe) but just to be aware of how our ego mind works. It is so incredibly subtle and cunning and sneaks through the back door when we are unconscious and believing our stories.
And once aware of it, can then maybe try out the beautiful suggestions that Noah gave in the video
Noah you are awesome 😁 I wish you could be my counselor lol. I’m gonna get your book 📖
@@chocolatewheelchair why thank you !
Very clear and applicable as usual. Where can I buy that jacket? haha
Thanks for gently tackling🏈 this! No human has been untouched by judgement's double-edged sword and this little exercise helps put a handle on it! Btw totally loved your interview (Noah Elkrief - Buddha at the gas pump). I urge everyone who "resonates" with Noah to watch it. I think that interview format helped give your older and current content a clearer purpose, meaning and "every step of the journey is valuable" perspective. It is freeing, atleast for me, to know that "evolution" (spiritual, personal, situational...hell, even biological) is really not from worse to better but rather from one kind of perfect (for your journey) to another kind of perfect. Not saying that it's necessarily easy to accept all at once tho, lol ;)
Can you make video about HOW TO STOP PEOPLE JUDGING YOU, like haters and people that say "HEY PROVE THAT YOU HAVE VOICE" "PROVE ME THAT YOU HAVE PASSPORT" "PROVE ME THAT YOURE VOICE OF 2020/2021" "I DONT BELIEVE WITHOUT PROOF"
I get beat into the dirt by this words
Also same about "PROVE ME THAT YOU PUT LIKE 1000$ ON THIS GAME"
yesterday i meet 2 people like that.. and I'm more depressed.. i need support but once i go anywhere i get judged and laughed at.. then they make my condition worser once they say they don't believe what i reached in my life.. like haters that wish me death.. everyone.. my friends.. my family, they know I'm weak and that i can end my life even cuz of small upsetting cause once i cry i remember everything i ever cried of and it puts me more down
I can't breathe normally since i get judged
Anytime i hate everyone everything even myself
Mom said i don't need to prove anything to stranger or give private info out but why people i don't know do it then...
It's stalking and hate and idk what to do how to stop them?.. i don't wanna live through this again and again
Mostly it happens with kids and russians
Since I'm from russia i always felt lonely with talking only to english
But once i start talk to russians it grows into hate and stalking to me.. i do nothing but they don't leave me alone and don't let me leave, as socials as same in real life once i show that im russian they will never leave me..
How to stop them? Please help
Good insight
Didn't think I needed this video. It was a mind opener. With a few funny moments that I kinda enjoyed.
Another wonderful video. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙏🏻
I love you . Deep
Can we just appreciate for a second how damn good looking this guy is. Damn boyyyy. Not gay though, just observing haha
I almost judged that dog.
lol
Thank you Noah! I always find surprises in your vids
your videos are always interesting. Good common sense knowledge. You look so cute. You smile makes me happy .
I needed to hear that. Thank you!!!
Love this! Thanks a lot for sharing your words
I have a question. Is it considered judgmental (and maybe even prejudiced) to immediately assume the person around you who acts weird, silly, or unfiltered must have ASD? See, whenever someone make a bad impression on me, and I think they're immature or obnoxious or odd, I immediately assume "must have ASD." Is that wrong? And you know...superficial and stupid?
im judging you for being a person who is at peace with themselves, confident, whole. Because im none of those things. Its very sad actually ..
I have another opinion..First, the child has not matured yet, so we do not judge him. Secondly, we have to take responsibility for our actions that affect us and others..Therefore, there are rehabilitation centers, prisons, and psychological and physical hospitals, but it is up to us to bear responsibility for what happened to us in the first place, from our parents beating us to bullying. Or brainwashing, etc.. Finally, you are an adult, and if you suffer from mental problems that may harm us, you must treat them or find someone to treat them, but it is your first responsibility as an adult.
I judge people as being fake, untruthful and more beautiful than me atst. And it hurts me bc they actually r. 4 yrs ago I awakened (you were one of the reasons) and got hacked by someone who makes videos like you and uses all of me, so I don't create bc all I create will b stolen and I am not awake anymore bc of it. How I deal with this? I live in isolation now, lost everyone bc they think I'm a mentally ill person and delusional (they don't believe I'm hacked). The police laughs at me and tells me they can't do sh*'t for me. How do I deal with this Noah?
Noah, you are a blessing to the world. I can not show my gratitude enough.
This was incredibly helpful i am in tears ... Thank you
comfie looking sweater
Judgement is such a basic survival instinct, the murderer i might behave non judgmentally towards might kill me, in fact I was much less judgemental in my youth but I would also say I was naive, and later became more assertive and less abused by ppl. I can see that a non ego state can abandon judgement ie not seeing anyone or situation as good or bad. It is the neutrality that is a oneness state, but as an ego or individual it is impossible not to judge, and this cannot be achieved artificially by trying or application, this state can only arise as a byproduct of self abandonment.
We never judge people when we where young ,so why do we now, some people do need to be judged for are own protection..
I think I did tho
If we stop judging others is that also giving up our intuition too? Say for instance you meet a person and you study them and you know something is not to be trusted about someone, should we neglect that? Cause most would consider that judgmental, but really we're just feeling a person out and later on come to know it to be true.
What about thinking that other people are selfish? I am a caring person.
I think I'm going to judge people for their good traits instead of bad. Seems easier than trying to put myself in their shoes.
every choice we make is the result of judgement....
I do it to feed my ego coz my kindness is always taken advantage of..now I'm willing to stop nd juss beat them
Noah's back! You pointed my life in a new direction years ago!
The thing with me is that I do not think that they deserve less love I just wish that the idea wouldn't pop in my head so often. That it would just press on and not deviate from thought process path.
What an amazing video, you are very wise! Thank you!
Hmmm. How smart, independenand and in control I am? How weak and needy I'm afraid to be?
I loved it. thanks. It clarifies a lot of why I am doing it.
You have to come out of your head and give people the benefit of the doubt
What about when you judge someone on their spitefulness, their meanness. I want to stop judging those who belittle and are mean to me but I don't feel that much empathy for them. Please help me on this.
If you were treated harshly when you were mean, then you believe that is the correct response when others are mean. When you heal how others treated you, this will allow for natural treatment/view of others.
Sounds like the Fuel for Social Anxiety too
Thanks for this… years later, but it is still so on point!
how can I not judge myself?