They do a registry for the baby and diapers are usually good but some parents have favorite brands they like and ask for from guests like huggies or pamper which are $30 plus a box.
Ok well I know we obviously don't have the same thoughts so I'm just going to leave it at that don't feel like getting into a argument so have a nice day ✌️😌
The way that Tamera is explaining it. She sounds like people should do baby showers cause the mother needs new things. In that context I think that Loni is right
I totally get what Jeanie is saying! Neither me or my sister got baby showers. Neither did any of my 16 cousins, or my cousin's baby. It's totally a western thing. A party or a get together I can understand, but expecting gifts every time?
I didn't get a baby shower I was the first girl and my grandma was so excited she had everything I needed by 6 months into the pregnancy .... My lil sister who came 4 years later got a baby shower tho 😩
Yeah i agree with Loni...sure you can celebrate but you shouldn't have to buy anything if you don't want to, and especially not that expensive gits a carseat!! a stoller!! wtf.....a stroller costs 800 dollars in my country....That's way too much to give away...a stuffed animal or a bib will do thank you.
Lmfao uhm okay my family is big and I'm very close with my family especially my extended family on my mums side she has 4 sisters and 2 brothers her youngest brother and sister is like my brother and sister cause we are close aged I'm 17 my oldest cousin is 19 my uncle 20 and my Aunty 24 so me and my cousin were raised by my grandparents with my uncle and Aunty. Anyways between my mom her 4 sisters and 1 brother there is 24 grandchildren my other uncle doesn't have kids yet. Lmfao we had no baby showers for any of us just big first birthdays and that was it
People have really lost the real meaning for a baby shower. I actually agree with Tamar, it's about the baby and celebrating a new baby coming into the world!
Whoa whoa whoa, people buy car seats for baby showers? My family is Caribbean and we've all been broke at one point. Auntie bring the food, Auntie Two brings the drink, a couple of outfits, diapers, and bottles here and there, Uncle supplies the music and the kids play. You got the wrong one if you this chile will buy a car seat or a crib for anyone else's baby. Sorry, but in the words of Michael Jackson, "if you can't (afford a car seat or) feed your baby, then don't have a baby"
+mellisa also, i'm a broke college student. most of my gifts are in the way of creativity. i would put together a cute basket of necessities rather than extravagant items or many a free babysitting coupon book lol just something to help out
+mellisa Yeah lol I was so shocked when she said car seats! I'm also a college student so i had no IDEA those were the kind of gifts expected at baby showers..maybe it's just because they're rich. Like you, I thought you'd bring a couple of outfits for the baby, some toys, a cute blanket. But a crib, a car seat and a stroller? Excuse me?? If you need to throw a baby shower to get those things then you can't afford to be having a baby...
Woah.... why are men at baby showers? That's a damn family reunion, not a baby shower. We're AMERICAN here... and here in AMERICA, we do it wayyy differently from YOU.
I agree 100% with Loni and Jeannie. A baby shower for the first child is fine and again if the second child is a different gender. After that, you're on your own. What people seem to ignore is that your friends might have a lot of expenses of their own and can't afford to keep buying you presents for all the babies you choose to have. I love the idea of celebrating each new pregnancy but throw a little party with cards and small things like diapers or bottles but not a real shower. My mother didn't have a baby shower for me and I literally have never cared less about anything in my life.
I completely agree with you! If a person chooses to have more babies then thats fine but that doesnt mean that their single friends needs to go broke buying your children presents each and every time. I think its very selfish. Tamara and Tamar are wrong on this one and its extremely selfish. If car seats and things "change" then its not our responsibility to keep buying you new ones. They choose to have children so they should also bear the financial responsibilities.
I completely agree, if you have different gender children or big age gap but not when friends are having a child every other year and numerous friends are doing that that's a lot of gifts I don't want children but if I did id just have a little party but not expect people to buy presents my mum never had one and she managed fine she bought everything herself
If you waited a while in between children another shower should be ok. For example my friend's mom's had them young waited 10+ years then had another child. In that case my friends were in high school & the baby stuff had been long gone. In that case they need another shower.
And like I agree with Loni, if your friend is loaded with money its dumb to keep giving stuff to them in baby showers because she's already rich and can afford all that. And like she said, if your friend needs helping buying stuff for their baby because they can't afford it, then I'd be happy to help BUT if it's like her 4th kid... like why do I have to pay for your 4th baby's things when you can't afford that many babies. Use those contraceptives!
Baby showers are for each baby. Each life deserves to be celebrated. It is a completely different story if the parents expect expensive presents though. I believe that as long as the present has been discussed with the parents and is appropriate, that is all that matters. When I say appropriate, I mean that babies have sensitive skin, so if you are getting them clothes, make sure it is a soft and not irritable material.
I agree with loni. Also, Tamar proved her point that its basically an event to get gifts when she said she wouldn't invite them because they wouldn't gift. Obviously shes joking but she woul def feel some type of way if they showed up empty handed. The only people I would hope bring me gifts is my immediate family. Anyone else can just bring themselves. I have this same belief about birthdays. You should be able to feel content on your birthday without gifts. The fact someone got dressed up and went to your party and is having fun with you should be enough.
N Zal I don’t agree with buying the big stuff. That’s up to the parents, but if you are strapped for cash then there are other things you can do to celebrate with your expecting friends. You can give a book with a message in it, you can offer to help once the baby is born with cleaning or cooking a meal. You don’t have to spend a lot or anything to show you care.
Tamera seemed INCREDIBLY close minded in this. Look at her facial expressions while Jeannie was explaining that in her culture they dont do baby showers. Im Arabic, and we dont do baby showers either.. I mean you can if you want to, but its not a social norm. Americans are so fixated on their own traditions that they dont even allow the possibility of another culture or country's different values or traditions, and Tamera portrayed that wonderfully here by how she kept on saying "I dont get it" Im disappointed in her.
Yeah, like the only possible way to celebrate the birth of a child is to have a party before the child is even here where the primary "feature" is to give gifts. Throwing a party with a gift registry isn't a measure of excitement.
Have as many as you want. No one should tell you that you should have only one. Sometimes it's not just about the gifts, it's a day celebrating you and your baby.
Just a day? Why not when the baby comes? You can celebrate every dirty diaper, every time it wakes you up at night and every time it throws up on you ❤
I agree with Lonni on that one. I don't think it's right to expect a gift from people every time you have a baby. I think it should be an option if they want to, then that's fine. But to have a baby shower for each one, with the sole purpose of receiving gifts, I think that's a bit much to ask.
I'm the third child, second girl, and I can definitely attest to parents being burnt out or not being really as excited about me as they were for their first daughter and son. It absolutely has negative effects. Treat ALL your kids as a blessing, not just the first one.
I was just thinking the same thing my nieces and nephew are incredible gifts God has provided this world with I might not always agree with the timing but who am I my role is to support lift and contribute as much as I can for those I love
Tamar and Tamera here seem very condescending and unwilling to accept other views. People don't have to provide for your child. It's a courtesy, not an obligation. It's one thing to being a gift. It's another to expect people to cater to you.
I like Tamar view tho because it is celebrating a new baby. Even if you don't bring a gift come laugh with me give me knowledge of what to expect for the baby play games and laugh about how big I got.
Yes! Agree! I didn't have a shower for either of my 2 kids and I honestly don't regret it (I hate being around a lot of people while pregnant) and I was excited when someone would come visit the baby. I didn't expect any gifts. That's my and my husband's job. They still brought them diapers, wipes, clothes which I am very grateful for. It just wasn't EXPECTED. Especially with mine being 17 months apart lol.
Tamera has always been like that but people be so far up her ass to notice she doesn't see others opinions sometimes. Tamar been like that, I love them all though.
I've loved tamera since "Sister,Sister." It just saddens me to see how narrow-minded she is. When Jeannie mentioned that baby showers aren't common in her culture, the look on tameras face, to me, was very rude. I didn't look like surprise, but rather, like judgement.
If you watched the show, Tamera said she bought all the expensive things and her friends threw a shower for the little things. Baby showers to me are just for celebrating the gift of new life. I have gone to like 30 or more in my life time. That's a lot of money spent but I don't mind!
Esther Grace I know right no one is asking you to buy the new stroller etc. I think it is nice to have a baby shower for each baby. As Tamar said it's a celebration of life. Let's be real you don't have to spend a lot, I am sure most people will be super appreciative a thinking of you and the baby gift. Come on guys you could shell out some adorable and affordable little baby clothes from H&M on the cheap.
Tamar and Tamera are both millionaires and have friends with money that will throw them showers. I live in the real world and do not have friends like that. Furthermore my mother in law threw my first shower. We want 3 more kids and we will not be having anymore showers. I just think it is tacky and greedy to expect a shower for every child.
Oh yeah. Well I was just letting him know that I respect what he said and that the comment he wrote was positive and respectful to all the woman out there. mother or not a mom it still was positive feedback. So....!?!?
This is such an honest and beautiful comment. Even though I am not a mother, I applaud you for recognizing the importance of motherhood. So, hats off to you for this comment. God bless :)
I agree with Tamar. Baby Showers are supposed to be a celebration for the baby. Whenever I get pregnant and have a baby shower, I don't want people to be pressed to bring me gifts, I genuinely would want people there just to celebrate my baby's future arrival and that's it. Gifts are nice but will not be necessary.
I've gone to a diaper party, sip'n'see type of gathering, where the baby is already born, and we just bring a bag of diapers or a children's book....and meet the new baby of course.
@@kimberlyfigueroa2291 You don't do it for a literal newborn. You wait until their immune system kicks in. And people overreact to germs with newborns (except in time like this)
A persons choice to have a baby is on them. If anything it's a massive ego trip to expect a parade and to be showered in gifts because you got knocked up. With over 7 billion people in the world, it's not like having a baby is some rare marvel. Stop trying to impose your life choices on other people and no guilt trips and saying your friends are selfish because they opt to not kit you out in all new gear for baby number 2,3,4...
Finally someone says it on media. Baby shows never existed in the African culture. Well atleast not in the country that i come from. Lately, i noticed most of my pregnant friends back home organising baby showers and i was like " hold it right there hahahaha", well the American tradition is catching up. It's not a bad thing to have one but dang pregnancy and childbirth have become extra commercialised.
I agree with Jeannie on this one and COMPLETELY disagree with Tamera, to the point that I think Tamera might need to take a step back for a minute and think about how [insert nicer word for stuck up] she can sometimes sound. Even though Loni's statement that I am about to repeat was kind of extreme, it had a lot of truth to it. She said "It's not my responsibility to pay for your children".This is soooooo true. People don't have "My brother just lost his job and now he is living with me and we are barely getting by" showers. It is their family and at the end of the day they will take care of it, but if a friend or family member decides to chip in it is SUPER nice and greatly appreciated. This should also be applied to baby showers. Like Tamar said, if you decide to have a baby shower, it is supposed to be a celebration of the baby, and I understand inviting lots of friends and family over to make it a good time and celebrate a new person in the family, and I can also understand putting out a list of things you would really appreciate, but at the end of the day, it is all of those people's goodwill to get you those things. So if you wake up that morning and have the baby shower and no one gives you anything except some compliments about your food, you need to be satisfied that you have soooo many people in your life that care about you and are willing to come to celebrate your baby, and let someone know if you think you are REALLY in need of something. I am tired of hearing people expecting others to buy their cribs and strollers for them, like, this isn't my baby. I am not saying people need to be stingy, but if someone could really use their money to help themselves, it should not be expected that they need to be putting down downpayments for your baby shower. Also, let's be real here, no kid will EVER look back and be hurt that they didn't get a baby shower but their sibling did. The baby shower is a nice tradition, but it gets tiring when people expect so much and if a friend says they are not getting them a present, they will just not invite them.
+K Parker Totally agree with you. Why would i care that my sister got a baby shower and I didn't? NEITHER OF US WERE ALIVE lmao. There won't be any pictures of me as a baby enjoying this baby shower, so i couldn't care less looking back..
Hold up hunties so tamera can't afford a $100 stroller for her child and car seats come with it? Where the fin do they shop at? And loni should be welcomed. Loni can choose what to bring is it that big of a deal. Last sentence I just lost it lol not towards anyone just video. I'm so jealous because these celebs go in debt buying stuff to keep up with everyone else and not staying on a budget.
I agree with Tamar and Tamera. It's to celebrate their baby! I'm sure Tamera's friends and family can't wait to spoil her little girl so nobody is worried about the folks that don't wanna give a gift. Lol
Jacqueline G I agree. As a guy, I went to my first baby shower a couple of months ago and the gathering of people in such a positive space for such a celebratory reason is just a great feeling. We ate, played games and did a gift reveal, etc... There's as much hosting to be done for the party overall and I had a great time. The gifts do help. I personally am going to just give out gift cards because there were too many baby bathes and double gifts. Cash is cash lol Gifts and cash go a long way.
This is the first time I've disagreed with Tamera. She makes it sound like other people HAVE to pay for the shower to be honest. I still love her though! I agree with Tamar!
Thats not what Tamera was saying. She was saying each baby should have a baby shower because it wouldn't be right to do it for one of them then rurn around and not do for the next child
***** Tamera says buys the really expensive baby things but her family and friends still contribute by buying little things because they want to feel included
Kali Hensley I was so happy to hear you and Tamera say that (she says it in the full episode). I partially thought it would look cheap and unoriginal to buy diapers until they explained how practical they were, and that Moms and Dads ALWAYS NEED MORE, like as much as humanly possible.
Loni is on point! I feel like once someone gets engaged I feel like I spend the next 5 years buying them gift after gift after gift. Everyone just expects a gift for every little thing.
I am with Loni, like if my friend is constantly getting pregnant, I have to keep spending money and you keep popping them kids. People no offense, we have other things more important to worry about than to have to keep buying gifts for you babies that come one after the other. You want to have another baby, then pay for your own stuff. I can tell Tamera got a little upset by what Loni said, LOL.
I totally agree with Lonnie. I have a friend/associate who has 7 children (a mix of boys and girls). I'm not coming to all those showers and it's not fair to ask single friends who don't have kids to keep buying your children new things. You can be happy and celebrate new life without a big shower every time.
I don't know what kind of friends y'all have, but my friends and I LOVE to give gifts to each other, pregnant or not. So to have the opportunity to give gifts for an incoming bundle of joy?? That's just icing on the cake. Maybe I give more liberally than some, but I love giving to my friends all the time. It's a part of showing love!
Here's the thing about Jeannie's comment. I'm not Vietnamese but being Asian, and personally speaking, children are extremely treasured. There might not be a traditional baby shower, but there's usually a celebration of some sort (and some of the ones I've seen are way bigger than the showers). And it's true, gifts are commonly more just money. It's not a bad thing, it's culture. In many cultures money is luck or success so giving money in this kind of occasion is wishing luck and success on the family.
C'moooon....people acting like people are having babies every other month. You can't buy a baby shower gift every couple of years??? And I agree with Tamar, yes gifts are involved but it really is about celebrating the new life. I also agree with Tamara that it's only fair that each baby has their own shower.
How is that fair? A baby shower is not about the baby. It's about the mom feeling important and people showing up and supporting her, and her getting showered with gift and attention. Ego is all tied up in that! That's why people get emotional and feel slighted if a friend pr relative doesn't show up. The baby will never feel slighted. Only the egotistical, entitled mother will
My thing is that baby showers are for the parent. Not the baby. The baby doesn't care. It's not even born! Also, the more kids you have, the less I expect you to need things. By the fifth kid you should have this thing down. You don't need me to buy you diapers and bottles! I think baby showers are for new parents to help get them in their feet for the first time. After that, you're walking, honey!
I'm 19 and I've been to an unfathomable amount of baby showers and I love it! It's one of the few shopping for other people moments I don't mind, and especially if they're a close friend of mine, I love getting to celebrate the new life coming in! I think it's a really sweet tradition.
nobody forces you to go and buy a present if you don't want to... it is NOT an obligation...if you are the kind of person that thinks that way you should be ashame of yourself because all you think about is going to the baby shower and eat...instead of thinking that your friend invited you to celebrate with her...
I agree with Tamar and Tamera! Don't tell parents not to celebrate their baby just because you don't feel like buying a gift! Don't attend if you don't want to.
I think after the second you should even have a registry to keep having babies and expecting gifts is like if your friends on her third marriage and wants engagement gifts
hell noo, I'm 39, single with no children and I'm sick and tired of buying baby shower gifts. I only buy for the first one. If you decide on having a second one, you better buy yourself those gifts. I'm sorry.
Wow. People must have friends who are spitting out all kinds of babies for this to be such an issue! Maybe I've had different experiences, but all of the baby showers I've attended have been surprises, so friends and family volunteered at the end of the day. It's never been an issue of parents being greedy and forcing other people to pay for everything.
Me and my sister had this discussion b/c she was talking about just doing one baby shower. I told her that she should do what she did for for the first baby she should do for the rest of the children. Some people want to go all out for the first one, but not for the rest which isn't really fair. I'm the youngest, so I know what it's like having had to have my siblings things passed down to me and not being treated as important.
Tamar and Tamera are so right. Its not baout the gifts its celebrating the new life coing into the world. A girl I worked with having a baby I bought bibs with cute quotes, baby grooming kit and emergency aid kit for babies. It all cost $20 together. They were so thankful she even told me it was the best gift she got. My mom gave best advice. She said always by little things cause no ever thinks of buying them. That why my friend loved my gift.
The only time I can see one child getting a baby shower and the other(s) do not is a problem, is ONLY IF that child that didn't get the shower grows up feeling or experiencing problems at home with negligence ..... one child being treated better than the other.
FIRST OF ALL, traditionally, a baby shower is GIVEN to the mother (and baby) by someone else (friends, siblings, etc), but these days, people are hosting their own baby shower parties and it kind of gets out of hand. There should be no EXPECTATION of gifts at any party, really, but it is a generous gesture to give gifts for the child and/or mother. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a "sprinkle" for subsequent children, particularly if they are close in age and of the same gender. There is a valid expectation that some things can be handed down, and logistically sometimes there can't a large shower for every baby, but the biggest thing is that that people who are having children should make preparation for the baby and whatever gifts come are just add-ons for which they can be grateful.
I agree with Loni and Jeanie. I should not feel pressured into buying gifts for someone else's baby and attending an event. I have attended several showers and purchased gifts but after having my 2 kids, I fee like my time and money is tied up with them. Showers can be exhausting after awhile and a mature friend should understand that everyone won't feel like participating.
I agree with Tamar when she said baby showers are a celebration of the baby, but I agree with Loni on everything else. Now my opinion is it's alright to have a baby shower for each of children if you want to celebrate each child. But if your just having baby showers for the gifts then to me that's some indirect selfishness haha.
My mom never had a shower for me, I was the 4th child and I turned out just fine, I'm on the Dean's List and about the graduate college, it doesn't matter. My mom bought all she needed for me because she felt she was having the child and it's not anyone's responsibility.
I actually have told all my close friends, "I will GLADLY help decorate, cook, bake, make drinks, clean up, whatever!-- but I am not in the financial state to purchase a gift for a baby shower when I can't even afford my own basics." I'm frugal but I'm not loaded; I'm super smart and tight with my money to stretch it to the max, but I do not have the finances for 'extras' like that, sorry. And all of my friends have understood and it hasn't been a problem. I say, communicate your situation (and it better be truthful!!) and it should be fine. Oh and if you'll be arriving empty-handed, arrive early. Always easier to watch people come in with gifts than to be watched coming in with no gift!
Each child is equally important! They each deserve to be celebrated! And if a person can't afford a gift or a card then don't buy one and come to enjoy the free food and cake. I don't think that most parents having a baby shower expect for the guest too "pay" for their new baby. For the most part it's not even the parents who put the shower together, it's the friends and/or family. Really who cares? If you don't want to buy anything or have negative feelings about it, you probably shouldn't go anyway.
Hilarious that Tamar thinks people that don't want to buy baby gifts are selfish. Yet every expecting mama that invites their friends to a baby shower fully expects a gift and it had better be good, otherwise they'll be gossiping about that "cheap friend" for weeks or months!
Every child should have a baby shower, to celebrate their live. A baby shower isn't only just for presents but its to bring people together to share the happiness of your new child. It's up to the friends if they want to bring a present or not. Not everyone has to. Showing up for the event is good enough, since it shows the friends care.
Ugh, I had a friend who had four baby showers, for ONE baby. Because her parents were divorced and wanted to have separate ones, then her in-laws weren't invited to either so they threw another, but the greedy girl wanted ANOTHER for just her friends to be present.
I totally agree with Loni. But for me, friends are not obligated to pay for other people's mistakes. That is what baby showers are for; you paying for what the future parents will need because they can't afford it. It's disguised as a “celebration of life" when in reality, it is a cry for help. Car seats, cribs, clothes, diapers, eating chair, etc, it all adds up. It's a LOT of money. Take the pill if you don't have the money girls!
I totally agree with Loni. There's no way I would keep purchasing gifts for a friend every time she has a baby, especially if she is well off, or if she could pass down what she has to the next baby. A celebration card would do. Someone in need, definitely. I'm not buying gifts for the sake of tradition.
I am with Tamera and Tamar. Every child is an individual; its not the second child's fault that he or she came second. Doesn't he or she deserve the same excitement as the first? I can see this happening when people have two boys or two girls and its not right: children do need to be treated as individuals and respected in that way. So I believe in having a shower for every child you have. If you receive duplicate gifts, donate some of them to women's shelters or other organizations that might need it more than you do. But there better be cake and balloons for each individual kid I have.
***** You're free to disagree with me. But if a child is born in my family, I want to see him or her and celebrate their life. I expect the same for my family. If a relative can't afford to give gifts, their presence and their love and support is enough. But it is my opinion that every friend and family of the child should be present (if possible) to celebrate a child's life. A child comes through me but doesn't belong to me. I will give all that I can to him or her (which cannot possibly be everything) because I'm a woman. The father would do the same, as would aunts and uncles. If Jeannie's nieces and nephews want to be in the entertainment business, who would help them? She would, because that's her area of expertise. If I have a niece or a nephew who wants to make it in the arts, I would help them (because that's what I do). You are making it all about money but its not. Celebrating a child's life is about celebrating them coming into the world and loving them.That can look like any sort of gathering. It goes without saying that a child should be loved and celebrated by their parents, but they are/should have a network that extends beyond their parents. God parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends who are like family...I could go on.
Rurrox Bibi Well, I believe in energy and the force of love, and I think its a good thing to do. People talk about these kinds of events for years to come. Its not just for the parents, its to celebrate life.
i had a shower for my baby and it was really helpful. plus baby showers are expensive, the location, food, decorations & all other stuff. obviously no one will be buying us a car seat or anything big like that because that’s our responsibility BUT i had over 200 people in my baby shower and i’m grateful that they brought presents because they brought clothes or diapers even on discount is fine. everyone brought at least one thing even if it was small but in the end i had the crib stacked to the top with clothes and diapers that lasted MONTHS. my son is now a year old and i still have clothes from the baby shower. im grateful and this time around im expecting and i have clothes i was gifted saved in case it’s another boy 🤷🏽♀️
I kind of agree with everybody on this, I think that if you have a baby the first time is cute and nice, the second or third time, I find a little less important, but it can still happen. I am in no way saying that the second baby is not as important, but has anyone tried to plan and organize a baby shower? Do you know what needs to go into that. I have and it seemed fun, you want to do something nice but it's not always possible. Another thing is some people don't always want a baby shower. My mom just had my sister 3 weeks ago and the mention of a baby shower made her cringe when she was pregnant, after 3 kids she wasn't in for it. My sister is no less important! Loni is right, baby showers are normally the responsibility of close family members and friends, but sometimes they have their own lives to deal with and can't support you everytime you have a baby. If you can, then no problem, but don't feel pressured to give!
X ixxixxiiv The child themself is obviously very important, every child is a blessing, but baby showers are the most special for first time mothers, where as after that you kind of know what to expect. It is the most surprising and exciting the first time around
I am with Loni 100% Why do I have to keep paying for a decision you made, its not my responsibility to buy you the latest baby necessities. If it's just a baby shower to celebrate the new life, then that's cool, but expensive gifts each time? No thank you. This reminds me of that sex and the city episode about the baby shower, lol.
I love baby shower because of the excitement of the new addition!!! I don't expect my friends to buy the stroller, car seat and any other expensive pieces. That mine and my husbands job to do. My whole thing is just for them to show up!!!! Lol
See the way Tamar explained it 🙌🏼 like at end of the day, a baby shower is to celebrate with parents the blessing of a new member joining the family. And THATS IT! I don’t necessarily think the mother is in for the wrong reasons meaning expecting gifts and just stuff out it. That’s optional, if the guests wants to give a gift if they can. And if they can’t then just being there to celebrate should be enough.
I’m sorry, but if someone has an attitude like that about a baby shower, they just shouldn’t come or be apart of the baby or moms life. They always wanna complain about everything but then want to be the first person to hold the babies.
I was the fourth and last child(3rd girl) and my mom had a baby shower for me. I see no problem with having multiple baby showers. If you're too cheap to buy another gift, just don't buy one or don't go. I don't understand why this was worth a debate.
My sister wasn't going to have a baby shower and my grandma got soooo hype! So it really is a time to welcome the baby to the family and friends even if the baby is still in the belly.. You can just buy a nice card, or you can buy a stroller just being there or sending love is the support this mother loves to be encouraged to journey to the end of this whole labor, it's tough holding a baby, not that I have but my sister be blown up with swollen feet.. They need a day to celebrate
ok, the only point made by tamera were talking about how she would like this stroller or new cloths. If u have a baby shower for your first baby, that should be it. its more a welcome to motherhood. next baby is all you and gifts delivered to ur house. if u lucky.
I agree that every child should have a shower or some type of celebration for their life. I consider them birthday parties. Because essentially that's what they are. However, that doesn't mean you have to bring a gift tho. And if you do, it doesn't have to be a super expensive one. It could be a baby rattle a bib. It wouldn't matter to me. I'd be happy that people who love and or care about me would show up. I'd be happy with a cake (or cupcakes), punch, and cookies. It's about celebrating a new life coming into the world, not the gifts.
I don't think that Tamera meant that someone MUST buy her a car seat or a stroller... In her and Adam's group of friends and family, I'm sure there's always people who want to gift and can afford to gift them the bigger items. At a baby shower - gifts range from diapers and wipes, to toys, to gift cards, to blankets, to strollers, to cribs, to money. Everyone gives what they can... If they can. Big or small. Tam and Adam will provide for their kids for the next 18+ years.. so give them a little break and allow them to celebrate and to enjoy this time. I'm sure they don't want a bunch of grudging handouts.. Gift giving is just a way to show your love.
At least in my family, we never have a baby shower twice. We still give presents an gifts, but we don't have a party or anything. We have one baby shower and after that we either send gifts in the mail, or we give you a gift when we visit the new baby.
Baby shower in my country (Angola) is only to celebrate the baby. If you wanna bring a gift is up to you (although is good etiquette), but you don't have to bring strollers or any big thing lol thats the parents responsability.
I agree with Loni (not her delivery mind you, but the principle). Focus more on giving to those in need and do away with the seemingly compulsory, commercialised traditions
If you don’t want to give anyone a gift for a baby shower then just don’t go. That simple. I think it is disrespectful to say that somebody is being greedy for inviting me to their baby shower. Babies are expensive nothing wrong with having hella baby showers lol
I agree with Loni! And I agree with Tamera that it depends on the situation. Different genders, or many many many years of an age difference between the kids.... I get it. But if u have 2 kids and a 3rd one on the way and all kids are 2 yrs apart, u better use them hand-me-downs. And I'm speaking as someone who wants kids. I do not want a bunch of showers for each kid. And I HATE going to babyshowers. I've been going to baby showers since I was 16 since a lot of my friends were teenage mothers. I'm so sick of them lmao
I live in Salvador, Brazil and people here don't throw baby showers.. it's more of a "diaper shower''. Cuz car seats; strollers; cribs; high chairs; basinettes; bottles; toys; even baby clothes here in Brazil are expensive!! Everyone sorta chips in buying a pack of diapers and the rest can be given as gifts or donated.
I love shopping for my friends and close people I know. Along with the gifts for the baby though,we try to also get something for the mother and father. I remember my first friend who had her first baby,at the shower one of the gifts we got her were diapers.Her mom said "see honey I told you someone would help you with these".She had not gotten them yet so it was nice for her to feel more secure about those.
IF THE MOTHER DECIDES TO HAVE 1 TO 10 BABIES. EACH BABY SHOULD TREATED AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND BE CELEBRATED FOR HIS OR HER OWN LIFE. AS A FRIEND; IT SHOULD BOTHER YOU TO BUY 1 GIFT TO BABY THATS GOING TO MAKE A SLIGHT CHANGE HIS OR HER LIFE. THATS SELFISH LONI, YOURE NOT A TRUE FRIEND WITH THAT MIND SET.
I agree with Tamar and Jeannie, so first off, Jeannie is right because I’d rather purchase my baby’s stuff than anyone else and I could care less about anything else but, would be very grateful if it was done, of course. Tamar is right too, it’s a baby celebration of bringing another gift (the baby lol) into this world. if someone feels like buying something for someone’s child is like they’re taking care of their child or going out of their way, then bye don’t come: you weren’t needed and it wasn’t like that anyway but, I’d rather have family come (the main people that will really be happy and support you) and that’s it. It’s really not that big of a deal and people don’t have to purchase expensive things, a pack of diapers would be more than enough and appreciated. Shoot, even just a dessert
you guys commercialize everything... what happened to just having a party to celebrate a new life? i agree with loni's statement "it's not my responsibility to pay for your children" and i think nowadays that's what people expect: throw a shower and you'll get everything... i'm sorry but the parents should buy the strollers and cribs and car seats, not friends and random guests....
Not everybody asks for a multitude of gifts. There is a huge presumption here being that everyone having a shower wants a bunch of gifts. Nah, some people want cake, food, balloons, and company.It really is that simple. Each life has to be celebrated.
Preach! While I love a celebration of life. It's funny how you hear from people out of the wood work, and literally everyone gets a baby shower invite, but you never get invites to other things... I really hope parents these days don't expect everything out of a shower.
***** Teen mom? She doesn't deserve a shower let her work and pay for what she wants. if you are grown enough to get pregnant then be grown and buy what you want for your kid.
I get where Loni and Jennie are coming from. Nowadays some mothers use their baby shower as a way to get the things they cant afford. I have 2 babies under 2yrs old, no baby shower for either because they were both born early but I was so excited when people came to see them and had a box of diapers. I'm still excited when someone tells me "I bought you diapers!" Lol. I don't expect anything from anyone and I think it's sad that others see it as "providing" for someone else's child. Just enjoy the excitement with me for my new baby, don't buy anything.
I am so over this conversation. I get it, buying stuff for multiple people is overwhelming (I have had three friends in the past 4 months announce pregnancy & I am dreading the money I am going to spend on them) however, in celebrating this baby, let's do what we do when we celebrate Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, Graduations, etc. and give a gift.
I think you should have a baby shower with each child unless you’re popping them out every year like the Duggar’s. Because showers help the parents get prepared and you can buy things for mom and dad also. And it’s to celebrate the new life coming into the world
Every baby deserves a shower! If your friends don't want to show up or give a little gift, then they're selfish and don't deserve to be called your friend. Humph. -Larianne
they aren't selfish when you have numerous friends all being pregnant those small gifts adds up not everyone can afford them you shouldn't be expected to bring a gift of course a really friend wants to celebrate your new child but that doesn't have to mean a gift I would prefer them to be there for me when the child's born the odd baby sitting there to help guild the child gifts don't last friendship does
Laura Gilmore If the excuse is that you had to provide gifts for more than one baby every month, then I guess that's acceptable. Otherwise, I still think it's selfish.
Roodianne Tide exactly i feel the same way. its not like it's an every few months kinda thing. heck, christmas and bdays are every year nobody is complaining about that.
Roodianne Tide you don't no how much people earn here in the uk even working full time you barely have money left over I was brought up not to expect a gift but be grateful if you do get one if you bring a gift doesn't define a friendship if your friendship
With my first child, I did not have a babyshower because I lived in a different state and so far away from family, it just didn't work out. But for the next baby, I want to have a celebration!!!! One to celebrate the new baby and two to celebrate my daughter becoming a big sister!!
I agree with Loni, do people really expect car seats and strollers? I was thinking more like an outfit or blanket
They do a registry for the baby and diapers are usually good but some parents have favorite brands they like and ask for from guests like huggies or pamper which are $30 plus a box.
I mean...your family should help out with that, and maybe that one best friend, but to expect everyone to give stuff...sorry but hell to the no.
😂😂😂
@@indigo_blue_s2830 don't go if you don't want to pay simple 🙄🙃
Ok well I know we obviously don't have the same thoughts so I'm just going to leave it at that don't feel like getting into a argument so have a nice day ✌️😌
"Yall heifers don't need to no help"
"You don't know what I need!"
LMAOOO!
The way that Tamera is explaining it. She sounds like people should do baby showers cause the mother needs new things. In that context I think that Loni is right
I totally get what Jeanie is saying! Neither me or my sister got baby showers. Neither did any of my 16 cousins, or my cousin's baby. It's totally a western thing. A party or a get together I can understand, but expecting gifts every time?
I didn't get a baby shower I was the first girl and my grandma was so excited she had everything I needed by 6 months into the pregnancy .... My lil sister who came 4 years later got a baby shower tho 😩
Casey Owens why you crying!? you wouldn't remember the baby shower
I would rather say it is an American thing, not western.
I have one for my son it was beautiful he had everything he needed For a long time they really do come in handy
potocatepetl
But now it’s spreading in other countries too.
Loni is that one person who says what everyone is deeply thinking.
+MissYuna I agree with Tamar :P Loni has a point, but I am not a selfish person :P
Yeah i agree with Loni...sure you can celebrate but you shouldn't have to buy anything if you don't want to, and especially not that expensive gits a carseat!! a stoller!! wtf.....a stroller costs 800 dollars in my country....That's way too much to give away...a stuffed animal or a bib will do thank you.
+Katniss I'm just loving her!!!
Lmfao uhm okay my family is big and I'm very close with my family especially my extended family on my mums side she has 4 sisters and 2 brothers her youngest brother and sister is like my brother and sister cause we are close aged I'm 17 my oldest cousin is 19 my uncle 20 and my Aunty 24 so me and my cousin were raised by my grandparents with my uncle and Aunty. Anyways between my mom her 4 sisters and 1 brother there is 24 grandchildren my other uncle doesn't have kids yet. Lmfao we had no baby showers for any of us just big first birthdays and that was it
I don't think so, Jenny. Don't assume everyone is like you :)
People have really lost the real meaning for a baby shower. I actually agree with Tamar, it's about the baby and celebrating a new baby coming into the world!
Rebecca Pant no one cares except for the new parents. I was invited to 3 baby showers in one month. I didn’t attend not one
But when someone comes empty handed ... then it’s a problem?
@@nicole8578 not for my family. You better bring chocolate or cookies for the pregnant lady tho xD
Twenty one crybabies panicing at the door that’s still not coming empty handed
bella657
I always get invited but never go. I haven’t gone to one in years.
Whoa whoa whoa, people buy car seats for baby showers? My family is Caribbean and we've all been broke at one point. Auntie bring the food, Auntie Two brings the drink, a couple of outfits, diapers, and bottles here and there, Uncle supplies the music and the kids play. You got the wrong one if you this chile will buy a car seat or a crib for anyone else's baby. Sorry, but in the words of Michael Jackson, "if you can't (afford a car seat or) feed your baby, then don't have a baby"
+mellisa also, i'm a broke college student. most of my gifts are in the way of creativity. i would put together a cute basket of necessities rather than extravagant items or many a free babysitting coupon book lol just something to help out
+mellisa Yeah lol I was so shocked when she said car seats! I'm also a college student so i had no IDEA those were the kind of gifts expected at baby showers..maybe it's just because they're rich. Like you, I thought you'd bring a couple of outfits for the baby, some toys, a cute blanket. But a crib, a car seat and a stroller? Excuse me?? If you need to throw a baby shower to get those things then you can't afford to be having a baby...
Im from the Caribbean as well.... we buy cribs, car seat, play pen.. the works...when the shower over, you don't have nun else really to buy
Woah.... why are men at baby showers? That's a damn family reunion, not a baby shower. We're AMERICAN here... and here in AMERICA, we do it wayyy differently from YOU.
Don't attend if you don't buy a gift. It's just that simple.
I agree 100% with Loni and Jeannie. A baby shower for the first child is fine and again if the second child is a different gender. After that, you're on your own. What people seem to ignore is that your friends might have a lot of expenses of their own and can't afford to keep buying you presents for all the babies you choose to have. I love the idea of celebrating each new pregnancy but throw a little party with cards and small things like diapers or bottles but not a real shower. My mother didn't have a baby shower for me and I literally have never cared less about anything in my life.
I completely agree with you! If a person chooses to have more babies then thats fine but that doesnt mean that their single friends needs to go broke buying your children presents each and every time. I think its very selfish. Tamara and Tamar are wrong on this one and its extremely selfish. If car seats and things "change" then its not our responsibility to keep buying you new ones. They choose to have children so they should also bear the financial responsibilities.
I completely agree, if you have different gender children or big age gap but not when friends are having a child every other year and numerous friends are doing that that's a lot of gifts I don't want children but if I did id just have a little party but not expect people to buy presents my mum never had one and she managed fine she bought everything herself
If you waited a while in between children another shower should be ok. For example my friend's mom's had them young waited 10+ years then had another child. In that case my friends were in high school & the baby stuff had been long gone. In that case they need another shower.
And like I agree with Loni, if your friend is loaded with money its dumb to keep giving stuff to them in baby showers because she's already rich and can afford all that. And like she said, if your friend needs helping buying stuff for their baby because they can't afford it, then I'd be happy to help BUT if it's like her 4th kid... like why do I have to pay for your 4th baby's things when you can't afford that many babies. Use those contraceptives!
Baby showers are for each baby. Each life deserves to be celebrated. It is a completely different story if the parents expect expensive presents though. I believe that as long as the present has been discussed with the parents and is appropriate, that is all that matters. When I say appropriate, I mean that babies have sensitive skin, so if you are getting them clothes, make sure it is a soft and not irritable material.
Loni aint lying! Preach!
I agree with loni. Also, Tamar proved her point that its basically an event to get gifts when she said she wouldn't invite them because they wouldn't gift. Obviously shes joking but she woul def feel some type of way if they showed up empty handed. The only people I would hope bring me gifts is my immediate family. Anyone else can just bring themselves. I have this same belief about birthdays. You should be able to feel content on your birthday without gifts. The fact someone got dressed up and went to your party and is having fun with you should be enough.
DominicanMerida i agree
I usually agree with Tamera but Loni was on point about baby showers.
N Zal I don’t agree with buying the big stuff. That’s up to the parents, but if you are strapped for cash then there are other things you can do to celebrate with your expecting friends. You can give a book with a message in it, you can offer to help once the baby is born with cleaning or cooking a meal. You don’t have to spend a lot or anything to show you care.
Tamera seemed INCREDIBLY close minded in this. Look at her facial expressions while Jeannie was explaining that in her culture they dont do baby showers. Im Arabic, and we dont do baby showers either.. I mean you can if you want to, but its not a social norm. Americans are so fixated on their own traditions that they dont even allow the possibility of another culture or country's different values or traditions, and Tamera portrayed that wonderfully here by how she kept on saying "I dont get it" Im disappointed in her.
Yeah, like the only possible way to celebrate the birth of a child is to have a party before the child is even here where the primary "feature" is to give gifts. Throwing a party with a gift registry isn't a measure of excitement.
All Americans know how to do is waste money and throw parties 😂
Have as many as you want. No one should tell you that you should have only one. Sometimes it's not just about the gifts, it's a day celebrating you and your baby.
Just a day? Why not when the baby comes? You can celebrate every dirty diaper, every time it wakes you up at night and every time it throws up on you ❤
I agree with Lonni on that one. I don't think it's right to expect a gift from people every time you have a baby. I think it should be an option if they want to, then that's fine. But to have a baby shower for each one, with the sole purpose of receiving gifts, I think that's a bit much to ask.
I'm the third child, second girl, and I can definitely attest to parents being burnt out or not being really as excited about me as they were for their first daughter and son. It absolutely has negative effects. Treat ALL your kids as a blessing, not just the first one.
I agree with Tamar! It's about celebrating a new life
Last 4 secs
Loni - "y'all heffers don't need my help"
Tamar - "you don't know what I need"
😂😂😂I can't
I love buying gifts for baby showers! every baby is special and worth celebrating
I was just thinking the same thing my nieces and nephew are incredible gifts God has provided this world with I might not always agree with the timing but who am I my role is to support lift and contribute as much as I can for those I love
I never had a baby shower neither.I can see where Jeannie is comin from.Everything we owned wasn't given but bought
it really is just an American tradition
Oh hell no it is not!!! I am South African and we have kick ass baby showers!! We don't believe in the "sprinkle"
Same! In the Philippines, we have Baby showers for EVERY child coming into the world. And you can't come unless you got a gift.
Robyn Esterhuizen TELL THEM
Search EXO 'LOVE SHOT' MV
That sucks
Tamar and Tamera here seem very condescending and unwilling to accept other views. People don't have to provide for your child. It's a courtesy, not an obligation. It's one thing to being a gift. It's another to expect people to cater to you.
I like Tamar view tho because it is celebrating a new baby. Even if you don't bring a gift come laugh with me give me knowledge of what to expect for the baby play games and laugh about how big I got.
Yes, I agreed with that part. It's just the commercialization of the entire thing that I gate
Yes! Agree! I didn't have a shower for either of my 2 kids and I honestly don't regret it (I hate being around a lot of people while pregnant) and I was excited when someone would come visit the baby. I didn't expect any gifts. That's my and my husband's job. They still brought them diapers, wipes, clothes which I am very grateful for. It just wasn't EXPECTED. Especially with mine being 17 months apart lol.
Tamera has always been like that but people be so far up her ass to notice she doesn't see others opinions sometimes. Tamar been like that, I love them all though.
I've loved tamera since "Sister,Sister." It just saddens me to see how narrow-minded she is. When Jeannie mentioned that baby showers aren't common in her culture, the look on tameras face, to me, was very rude. I didn't look like surprise, but rather, like judgement.
If you watched the show, Tamera said she bought all the expensive things and her friends threw a shower for the little things. Baby showers to me are just for celebrating the gift of new life. I have gone to like 30 or more in my life time. That's a lot of money spent but I don't mind!
Esther Grace I know right no one is asking you to buy the new stroller etc. I think it is nice to have a baby shower for each baby. As Tamar said it's a celebration of life. Let's be real you don't have to spend a lot, I am sure most people will be super appreciative a thinking of you and the baby gift. Come on guys you could shell out some adorable and affordable little baby clothes from H&M on the cheap.
Esther Grace Loni is hard to listen to. Now I know why I cringe when she speaks.
Shannon Lashley or buy some damn wipes. theyll appreciate that when the baby comes.
Shannon Lashley I haven't been in years but ummm....h&m has baby clothes? Shut the front door
Shannon Lashley girl i am with you!!
Tamar and Tamera are both millionaires and have friends with money that will throw them showers. I live in the real world and do not have friends like that. Furthermore my mother in law threw my first shower. We want 3 more kids and we will not be having anymore showers. I just think it is tacky and greedy to expect a shower for every child.
They were saying each child should have because they are individuals so if gets a vaby shower and other doesnt it wont be right.
RoperFamily2012 woah ur far fetched with the millionaires cause their not
You can still have a party but say no gifts
Aicha Diallo Tamar is tho she’s worth 13 million this show isn’t her only job
"Y'all heifers don't need no help!" Lol. I love it.
Lmao ''ya'll heifas dont need no help!'' ''You don't know what I need!'' Lol love them
Honestly I salute all the mothers out there cause ain't no way in hell I could go through half of what yall go through so I take my hat off to y'all
First time you said something positive here without bring Tamar in it...... But I respect that.
Lolo lovu I think you got the wrong guy
Oh yeah. Well I was just letting him know that I respect what he said and that the comment he wrote was positive and respectful to all the woman out there. mother or not a mom it still was positive feedback. So....!?!?
No need to start nun..
This is such an honest and beautiful comment. Even though I am not a mother, I applaud you for recognizing the importance of motherhood. So, hats off to you for this comment. God bless :)
I agree with Tamar. Baby Showers are supposed to be a celebration for the baby. Whenever I get pregnant and have a baby shower, I don't want people to be pressed to bring me gifts, I genuinely would want people there just to celebrate my baby's future arrival and that's it. Gifts are nice but will not be necessary.
I never said you had to get me a present, I just want to celebrate my new bundle of joy with the ones i trust and care for the most.
Why not celebrate once you’ve popped it outta you?
I've gone to a diaper party, sip'n'see type of gathering, where the baby is already born, and we just bring a bag of diapers or a children's book....and meet the new baby of course.
I love that
Great idea
That's sounds cool
Could be dangerous for a newborn being near so many germs of so many adults and kids though
@@kimberlyfigueroa2291 You don't do it for a literal newborn. You wait until their immune system kicks in. And people overreact to germs with newborns (except in time like this)
A persons choice to have a baby is on them. If anything it's a massive ego trip to expect a parade and to be showered in gifts because you got knocked up. With over 7 billion people in the world, it's not like having a baby is some rare marvel. Stop trying to impose your life choices on other people and no guilt trips and saying your friends are selfish because they opt to not kit you out in all new gear for baby number 2,3,4...
MissShoptastic AGREE
MissSolitario lmfao welll said girl
Agreed👏🏼
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Finally someone says it on media. Baby shows never existed in the African culture. Well atleast not in the country that i come from. Lately, i noticed most of my pregnant friends back home organising baby showers and i was like " hold it right there hahahaha", well the American tradition is catching up. It's not a bad thing to have one but dang pregnancy and childbirth have become extra commercialised.
Right, they're branding babies as soon as they come out the womb. Name brand this and that & most babies don't wear things more than thrice.
+Poppy A2693 true, I'm african too, and in my country baby showers does not exists
I agree with Jeannie on this one and COMPLETELY disagree with Tamera, to the point that I think Tamera might need to take a step back for a minute and think about how [insert nicer word for stuck up] she can sometimes sound. Even though Loni's statement that I am about to repeat was kind of extreme, it had a lot of truth to it. She said "It's not my responsibility to pay for your children".This is soooooo true. People don't have "My brother just lost his job and now he is living with me and we are barely getting by" showers. It is their family and at the end of the day they will take care of it, but if a friend or family member decides to chip in it is SUPER nice and greatly appreciated. This should also be applied to baby showers. Like Tamar said, if you decide to have a baby shower, it is supposed to be a celebration of the baby, and I understand inviting lots of friends and family over to make it a good time and celebrate a new person in the family, and I can also understand putting out a list of things you would really appreciate, but at the end of the day, it is all of those people's goodwill to get you those things. So if you wake up that morning and have the baby shower and no one gives you anything except some compliments about your food, you need to be satisfied that you have soooo many people in your life that care about you and are willing to come to celebrate your baby, and let someone know if you think you are REALLY in need of something. I am tired of hearing people expecting others to buy their cribs and strollers for them, like, this isn't my baby. I am not saying people need to be stingy, but if someone could really use their money to help themselves, it should not be expected that they need to be putting down downpayments for your baby shower. Also, let's be real here, no kid will EVER look back and be hurt that they didn't get a baby shower but their sibling did. The baby shower is a nice tradition, but it gets tiring when people expect so much and if a friend says they are not getting them a present, they will just not invite them.
+K Parker Totally agree with you. Why would i care that my sister got a baby shower and I didn't? NEITHER OF US WERE ALIVE lmao. There won't be any pictures of me as a baby enjoying this baby shower, so i couldn't care less looking back..
Why are you singling her out? What about Tamar said, hell she called her a heifer and everything yet you're calling stuck up? Wtf.
She has One boy and one girl! They can't wear the same fucking clothes, she's not raising a transgendered child here.
Hold up hunties so tamera can't afford a $100 stroller for her child and car seats come with it? Where the fin do they shop at? And loni should be welcomed. Loni can choose what to bring is it that big of a deal. Last sentence I just lost it lol not towards anyone just video. I'm so jealous because these celebs go in debt buying stuff to keep up with everyone else and not staying on a budget.
+SmallestWARRIOR well she needs to take her own money & buy her kid new clothes
I agree with Tamar and Tamera. It's to celebrate their baby! I'm sure Tamera's friends and family can't wait to spoil her little girl so nobody is worried about the folks that don't wanna give a gift. Lol
Jacqueline G I agree. As a guy, I went to my first baby shower a couple of months ago and the gathering of people in such a positive space for such a celebratory reason is just a great feeling. We ate, played games and did a gift reveal, etc... There's as much hosting to be done for the party overall and I had a great time. The gifts do help. I personally am going to just give out gift cards because there were too many baby bathes and double gifts. Cash is cash lol Gifts and cash go a long way.
This is the first time I've disagreed with Tamera. She makes it sound like other people HAVE to pay for the shower to be honest. I still love her though! I agree with Tamar!
Thats not what Tamera was saying. She was saying each baby should have a baby shower because it wouldn't be right to do it for one of them then rurn around and not do for the next child
***** Tamera says buys the really expensive baby things but her family and friends still contribute by buying little things because they want to feel included
***** My thing is, even if it is the 3rd or 4th child, diapers are always an acceptable gift. Cause they will for sure be needed.
Kali Hensley your very right.
Kali Hensley I was so happy to hear you and Tamera say that (she says it in the full episode). I partially thought it would look cheap and unoriginal to buy diapers until they explained how practical they were, and that Moms and Dads ALWAYS NEED MORE, like as much as humanly possible.
Loni is on point! I feel like once someone gets engaged I feel like I spend the next 5 years buying them gift after gift after gift. Everyone just expects a gift for every little thing.
I am with Loni, like if my friend is constantly getting pregnant, I have to keep spending money and you keep popping them kids. People no offense, we have other things more important to worry about than to have to keep buying gifts for you babies that come one after the other. You want to have another baby, then pay for your own stuff. I can tell Tamera got a little upset by what Loni said, LOL.
I totally agree with Lonnie. I have a friend/associate who has 7 children (a mix of boys and girls). I'm not coming to all those showers and it's not fair to ask single friends who don't have kids to keep buying your children new things. You can be happy and celebrate new life without a big shower every time.
I don't know what kind of friends y'all have, but my friends and I LOVE to give gifts to each other, pregnant or not. So to have the opportunity to give gifts for an incoming bundle of joy?? That's just icing on the cake. Maybe I give more liberally than some, but I love giving to my friends all the time. It's a part of showing love!
Tamar spoke the truth 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
If you don't want to buy a gift, don't I don't understand what the issue is.
Here's the thing about Jeannie's comment. I'm not Vietnamese but being Asian, and personally speaking, children are extremely treasured. There might not be a traditional baby shower, but there's usually a celebration of some sort (and some of the ones I've seen are way bigger than the showers). And it's true, gifts are commonly more just money. It's not a bad thing, it's culture. In many cultures money is luck or success so giving money in this kind of occasion is wishing luck and success on the family.
C'moooon....people acting like people are having babies every other month. You can't buy a baby shower gift every couple of years??? And I agree with Tamar, yes gifts are involved but it really is about celebrating the new life. I also agree with Tamara that it's only fair that each baby has their own shower.
some people do have children quite frequently though !
How is that fair? A baby shower is not about the baby. It's about the mom feeling important and people showing up and supporting her, and her getting showered with gift and attention. Ego is all tied up in that! That's why people get emotional and feel slighted if a friend pr relative doesn't show up. The baby will never feel slighted. Only the egotistical, entitled mother will
AGREE
Exactly
Divinity89 not for child number 5😨
My thing is that baby showers are for the parent. Not the baby. The baby doesn't care. It's not even born! Also, the more kids you have, the less I expect you to need things. By the fifth kid you should have this thing down. You don't need me to buy you diapers and bottles! I think baby showers are for new parents to help get them in their feet for the first time. After that, you're walking, honey!
I'm 19 and I've been to an unfathomable amount of baby showers and I love it! It's one of the few shopping for other people moments I don't mind, and especially if they're a close friend of mine, I love getting to celebrate the new life coming in! I think it's a really sweet tradition.
nobody forces you to go and buy a present if you don't want to... it is NOT an obligation...if you are the kind of person that thinks that way you should be ashame of yourself because all you think about is going to the baby shower and eat...instead of thinking that your friend invited you to celebrate with her...
I agree with Tamar and Tamera! Don't tell parents not to celebrate their baby just because you don't feel like buying a gift! Don't attend if you don't want to.
I think after the second you should even have a registry to keep having babies and expecting gifts is like if your friends on her third marriage and wants engagement gifts
You can have a baby shower without a registry. I would much rather spend time with my friends than receive gifts from them.
amen ✋✋
Cimone Watson parents can celebrate all they want but ppl are tired of these baby showers
hell noo, I'm 39, single with no children and I'm sick and tired of buying baby shower gifts. I only buy for the first one. If you decide on having a second one, you better buy yourself those gifts. I'm sorry.
i never threw a baby shower for my daughter but family and friends still bought things for my baby. those are things that come from their heart
THANK YOU TAMAR!!!!! IT IS A CELEBRATION
Wow. People must have friends who are spitting out all kinds of babies for this to be such an issue! Maybe I've had different experiences, but all of the baby showers I've attended have been surprises, so friends and family volunteered at the end of the day. It's never been an issue of parents being greedy and forcing other people to pay for everything.
Me and my sister had this discussion b/c she was talking about just doing one baby shower. I told her that she should do what she did for for the first baby she should do for the rest of the children. Some people want to go all out for the first one, but not for the rest which isn't really fair. I'm the youngest, so I know what it's like having had to have my siblings things passed down to me and not being treated as important.
I’m sick and tired of gifting people on multiple showers !!! And multiple weddings ! It’s not my responsibility to pay for your choice’s .
Tamar and Tamera are so right. Its not baout the gifts its celebrating the new life coing into the world. A girl I worked with having a baby I bought bibs with cute quotes, baby grooming kit and emergency aid kit for babies. It all cost $20 together. They were so thankful she even told me it was the best gift she got. My mom gave best advice. She said always by little things cause no ever thinks of buying them. That why my friend loved my gift.
The only time I can see one child getting a baby shower and the other(s) do not is a problem, is ONLY IF that child that didn't get the shower grows up feeling or experiencing problems at home with negligence ..... one child being treated better than the other.
FIRST OF ALL, traditionally, a baby shower is GIVEN to the mother (and baby) by someone else (friends, siblings, etc), but these days, people are hosting their own baby shower parties and it kind of gets out of hand. There should be no EXPECTATION of gifts at any party, really, but it is a generous gesture to give gifts for the child and/or mother. I don't think it's a bad thing to have a "sprinkle" for subsequent children, particularly if they are close in age and of the same gender. There is a valid expectation that some things can be handed down, and logistically sometimes there can't a large shower for every baby, but the biggest thing is that that people who are having children should make preparation for the baby and whatever gifts come are just add-ons for which they can be grateful.
I agree with Loni and Jeanie. I should not feel pressured into buying gifts for someone else's baby and attending an event. I have attended several showers and purchased gifts but after having my 2 kids, I fee like my time and money is tied up with them. Showers can be exhausting after awhile and a mature friend should understand that everyone won't feel like participating.
You see how society has lost the meaning behind diff events. Thanks Tamar for bringing back the light!
Yes Loni... please tell 'em
I was told by a party planner baby shower etiquette is one for each gender or if they are more than 5 years apart
I agree with Tamar when she said baby showers are a celebration of the baby, but I agree with Loni on everything else.
Now my opinion is it's alright to have a baby shower for each of children if you want to celebrate each child. But if your just having baby showers for the gifts then to me that's some indirect selfishness haha.
They all look incredible today 😍❤️
My mom never had a shower for me, I was the 4th child and I turned out just fine, I'm on the Dean's List and about the graduate college, it doesn't matter. My mom bought all she needed for me because she felt she was having the child and it's not anyone's responsibility.
I actually have told all my close friends, "I will GLADLY help decorate, cook, bake, make drinks, clean up, whatever!-- but I am not in the financial state to purchase a gift for a baby shower when I can't even afford my own basics." I'm frugal but I'm not loaded; I'm super smart and tight with my money to stretch it to the max, but I do not have the finances for 'extras' like that, sorry. And all of my friends have understood and it hasn't been a problem. I say, communicate your situation (and it better be truthful!!) and it should be fine.
Oh and if you'll be arriving empty-handed, arrive early. Always easier to watch people come in with gifts than to be watched coming in with no gift!
Each child is equally important! They each deserve to be celebrated! And if a person can't afford a gift or a card then don't buy one and come to enjoy the free food and cake. I don't think that most parents having a baby shower expect for the guest too "pay" for their new baby. For the most part it's not even the parents who put the shower together, it's the friends and/or family. Really who cares? If you don't want to buy anything or have negative feelings about it, you probably shouldn't go anyway.
Hilarious that Tamar thinks people that don't want to buy baby gifts are selfish. Yet every expecting mama that invites their friends to a baby shower fully expects a gift and it had better be good, otherwise they'll be gossiping about that "cheap friend" for weeks or months!
Every child should have a baby shower, to celebrate their live. A baby shower isn't only just for presents but its to bring people together to share the happiness of your new child. It's up to the friends if they want to bring a present or not. Not everyone has to. Showing up for the event is good enough, since it shows the friends care.
Ah Birthdays ?
Ugh, I had a friend who had four baby showers, for ONE baby.
Because her parents were divorced and wanted to have separate ones,
then her in-laws weren't invited to either so they threw another,
but the greedy girl wanted ANOTHER for just her friends to be present.
I totally agree with Loni. But for me, friends are not obligated to pay for other people's mistakes. That is what baby showers are for; you paying for what the future parents will need because they can't afford it. It's disguised as a “celebration of life" when in reality, it is a cry for help. Car seats, cribs, clothes, diapers, eating chair, etc, it all adds up. It's a LOT of money.
Take the pill if you don't have the money girls!
Loni looks so good, her hair and makeup and outfit
I totally agree with Loni. There's no way I would keep purchasing gifts for a friend every time she has a baby, especially if she is well off, or if she could pass down what she has to the next baby. A celebration card would do. Someone in need, definitely. I'm not buying gifts for the sake of tradition.
I am with Tamera and Tamar. Every child is an individual; its not the second child's fault that he or she came second. Doesn't he or she deserve the same excitement as the first? I can see this happening when people have two boys or two girls and its not right: children do need to be treated as individuals and respected in that way. So I believe in having a shower for every child you have. If you receive duplicate gifts, donate some of them to women's shelters or other organizations that might need it more than you do. But there better be cake and balloons for each individual kid I have.
***** You're free to disagree with me. But if a child is born in my family, I want to see him or her and celebrate their life. I expect the same for my family. If a relative can't afford to give gifts, their presence and their love and support is enough. But it is my opinion that every friend and family of the child should be present (if possible) to celebrate a child's life. A child comes through me but doesn't belong to me. I will give all that I can to him or her (which cannot possibly be everything) because I'm a woman. The father would do the same, as would aunts and uncles. If Jeannie's nieces and nephews want to be in the entertainment business, who would help them? She would, because that's her area of expertise. If I have a niece or a nephew who wants to make it in the arts, I would help them (because that's what I do). You are making it all about money but its not. Celebrating a child's life is about celebrating them coming into the world and loving them.That can look like any sort of gathering. It goes without saying that a child should be loved and celebrated by their parents, but they are/should have a network that extends beyond their parents. God parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends who are like family...I could go on.
Rurrox Bibi Well, I believe in energy and the force of love, and I think its a good thing to do. People talk about these kinds of events for years to come. Its not just for the parents, its to celebrate life.
i had a shower for my baby and it was really helpful. plus baby showers are expensive, the location, food, decorations & all other stuff. obviously no one will be buying us a car seat or anything big like that because that’s our responsibility BUT i had over 200 people in my baby shower and i’m grateful that they brought presents because they brought clothes or diapers even on discount is fine. everyone brought at least one thing even if it was small but in the end i had the crib stacked to the top with clothes and diapers that lasted MONTHS. my son is now a year old and i still have clothes from the baby shower. im grateful and this time around im expecting and i have clothes i was gifted saved in case it’s another boy 🤷🏽♀️
I kind of agree with everybody on this, I think that if you have a baby the first time is cute and nice, the second or third time, I find a little less important, but it can still happen.
I am in no way saying that the second baby is not as important, but has anyone tried to plan and organize a baby shower? Do you know what needs to go into that. I have and it seemed fun, you want to do something nice but it's not always possible.
Another thing is some people don't always want a baby shower. My mom just had my sister 3 weeks ago and the mention of a baby shower made her cringe when she was pregnant, after 3 kids she wasn't in for it. My sister is no less important!
Loni is right, baby showers are normally the responsibility of close family members and friends, but sometimes they have their own lives to deal with and can't support you everytime you have a baby.
If you can, then no problem, but don't feel pressured to give!
How is having the 2nd or 3rd child less important?
X ixxixxiiv The child themself is obviously very important, every child is a blessing, but baby showers are the most special for first time mothers, where as after that you kind of know what to expect. It is the most surprising and exciting the first time around
yessss thank you preach ... this since entitlement is ridiculous :/
I am with Loni 100%
Why do I have to keep paying for a decision you made, its not my responsibility to buy you the latest baby necessities.
If it's just a baby shower to celebrate the new life, then that's cool, but expensive gifts each time? No thank you.
This reminds me of that sex and the city episode about the baby shower, lol.
Depends the bible says to care for those who need care
@@markramirez1762 everyone isn't religious
And not everyone is christian...
@@markramirez1762Maybe that involves keeping your legs closed? ❤
I love baby shower because of the excitement of the new addition!!! I don't expect my friends to buy the stroller, car seat and any other expensive pieces. That mine and my husbands job to do. My whole thing is just for them to show up!!!! Lol
See the way Tamar explained it 🙌🏼 like at end of the day, a baby shower is to celebrate with parents the blessing of a new member joining the family. And THATS IT! I don’t necessarily think the mother is in for the wrong reasons meaning expecting gifts and just stuff out it. That’s optional, if the guests wants to give a gift if they can. And if they can’t then just being there to celebrate should be enough.
I’m sorry, but if someone has an attitude like that about a baby shower, they just shouldn’t come or be apart of the baby or moms life. They always wanna complain about everything but then want to be the first person to hold the babies.
I was the fourth and last child(3rd girl) and my mom had a baby shower for me. I see no problem with having multiple baby showers. If you're too cheap to buy another gift, just don't buy one or don't go. I don't understand why this was worth a debate.
I believe in giving your friends practical baby shower gifts that they would actually need or use.
My sister wasn't going to have a baby shower and my grandma got soooo hype! So it really is a time to welcome the baby to the family and friends even if the baby is still in the belly.. You can just buy a nice card, or you can buy a stroller just being there or sending love is the support this mother loves to be encouraged to journey to the end of this whole labor, it's tough holding a baby, not that I have but my sister be blown up with swollen feet.. They need a day to celebrate
ok, the only point made by tamera were talking about how she would like this stroller or new cloths. If u have a baby shower for your first baby, that should be it. its more a welcome to motherhood. next baby is all you and gifts delivered to ur house. if u lucky.
I agree that every child should have a shower or some type of celebration for their life. I consider them birthday parties. Because essentially that's what they are. However, that doesn't mean you have to bring a gift tho. And if you do, it doesn't have to be a super expensive one. It could be a baby rattle a bib. It wouldn't matter to me. I'd be happy that people who love and or care about me would show up. I'd be happy with a cake (or cupcakes), punch, and cookies. It's about celebrating a new life coming into the world, not the gifts.
I don't think that Tamera meant that someone MUST buy her a car seat or a stroller... In her and Adam's group of friends and family, I'm sure there's always people who want to gift and can afford to gift them the bigger items. At a baby shower - gifts range from diapers and wipes, to toys, to gift cards, to blankets, to strollers, to cribs, to money. Everyone gives what they can... If they can. Big or small. Tam and Adam will provide for their kids for the next 18+ years.. so give them a little break and allow them to celebrate and to enjoy this time. I'm sure they don't want a bunch of grudging handouts.. Gift giving is just a way to show your love.
Really if you choose to have a baby it’s your place to provide for that child !!!
At least in my family, we never have a baby shower twice. We still give presents an gifts, but we don't have a party or anything. We have one baby shower and after that we either send gifts in the mail, or we give you a gift when we visit the new baby.
Baby shower in my country (Angola) is only to celebrate the baby. If you wanna bring a gift is up to you (although is good etiquette), but you don't have to bring strollers or any big thing lol thats the parents responsability.
I agree with Loni (not her delivery mind you, but the principle).
Focus more on giving to those in need and do away with the seemingly compulsory, commercialised traditions
If you don’t want to give anyone a gift for a baby shower then just don’t go. That simple. I think it is disrespectful to say that somebody is being greedy for inviting me to their baby shower. Babies are expensive nothing wrong with having hella baby showers lol
I agree with Loni! And I agree with Tamera that it depends on the situation. Different genders, or many many many years of an age difference between the kids.... I get it. But if u have 2 kids and a 3rd one on the way and all kids are 2 yrs apart, u better use them hand-me-downs. And I'm speaking as someone who wants kids. I do not want a bunch of showers for each kid. And I HATE going to babyshowers. I've been going to baby showers since I was 16 since a lot of my friends were teenage mothers. I'm so sick of them lmao
I agree with Tamera.. a baby shower for each child you have. one child is not more important than the other. your should celebrate each child.
I live in Salvador, Brazil and people here don't throw baby showers.. it's more of a "diaper shower''. Cuz car seats; strollers; cribs; high chairs; basinettes; bottles; toys; even baby clothes here in Brazil are expensive!! Everyone sorta chips in buying a pack of diapers and the rest can be given as gifts or donated.
I love shopping for my friends and close people I know. Along with the gifts for the baby though,we try to also get something for the mother and father. I remember my first friend who had her first baby,at the shower one of the gifts we got her were diapers.Her mom said "see honey I told you someone would help you with these".She had not gotten them yet so it was nice for her to feel more secure about those.
Adrienne looks incredible here xx
IF THE MOTHER DECIDES TO HAVE 1 TO 10 BABIES. EACH BABY SHOULD TREATED AS AN INDIVIDUAL AND BE CELEBRATED FOR HIS OR HER OWN LIFE. AS A FRIEND; IT SHOULD BOTHER YOU TO BUY 1 GIFT TO BABY THATS GOING TO MAKE A SLIGHT CHANGE HIS OR HER LIFE. THATS SELFISH LONI, YOURE NOT A TRUE FRIEND WITH THAT MIND SET.
I agree with Tamar and Jeannie, so first off, Jeannie is right because I’d rather purchase my baby’s stuff than anyone else and I could care less about anything else but, would be very grateful if it was done, of course. Tamar is right too, it’s a baby celebration of bringing another gift (the baby lol) into this world. if someone feels like buying something for someone’s child is like they’re taking care of their child or going out of their way, then bye don’t come: you weren’t needed and it wasn’t like that anyway but, I’d rather have family come (the main people that will really be happy and support you) and that’s it. It’s really not that big of a deal and people don’t have to purchase expensive things, a pack of diapers would be more than enough and appreciated. Shoot, even just a dessert
you guys commercialize everything... what happened to just having a party to celebrate a new life? i agree with loni's statement "it's not my responsibility to pay for your children" and i think nowadays that's what people expect: throw a shower and you'll get everything... i'm sorry but the parents should buy the strollers and cribs and car seats, not friends and random guests....
I agree
Not everybody asks for a multitude of gifts. There is a huge presumption here being that everyone having a shower wants a bunch of gifts. Nah, some people want cake, food, balloons, and company.It really is that simple. Each life has to be celebrated.
I dont agree
Preach! While I love a celebration of life. It's funny how you hear from people out of the wood work, and literally everyone gets a baby shower invite, but you never get invites to other things... I really hope parents these days don't expect everything out of a shower.
***** Teen mom? She doesn't deserve a shower let her work and pay for what she wants. if you are grown enough to get pregnant then be grown and buy what you want for your kid.
I get where Loni and Jennie are coming from. Nowadays some mothers use their baby shower as a way to get the things they cant afford. I have 2 babies under 2yrs old, no baby shower for either because they were both born early but I was so excited when people came to see them and had a box of diapers. I'm still excited when someone tells me "I bought you diapers!" Lol. I don't expect anything from anyone and I think it's sad that others see it as "providing" for someone else's child. Just enjoy the excitement with me for my new baby, don't buy anything.
I am so over this conversation. I get it, buying stuff for multiple people is overwhelming (I have had three friends in the past 4 months announce pregnancy & I am dreading the money I am going to spend on them) however, in celebrating this baby, let's do what we do when we celebrate Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, Graduations, etc. and give a gift.
I think you should have a baby shower with each child unless you’re popping them out every year like the Duggar’s. Because showers help the parents get prepared and you can buy things for mom and dad also. And it’s to celebrate the new life coming into the world
Every baby deserves a shower! If your friends don't want to show up or give a little gift, then they're selfish and don't deserve to be called your friend. Humph.
-Larianne
they aren't selfish when you have numerous friends all being pregnant those small gifts adds up not everyone can afford them you shouldn't be expected to bring a gift of course a really friend wants to celebrate your new child but that doesn't have to mean a gift I would prefer them to be there for me when the child's born the odd baby sitting there to help guild the child gifts don't last friendship does
Laura Gilmore If the excuse is that you had to provide gifts for more than one baby every month, then I guess that's acceptable. Otherwise, I still think it's selfish.
Roodianne Tide exactly i feel the same way. its not like it's an every few months kinda thing. heck, christmas and bdays are every year nobody is complaining about that.
Roodianne Tide nobody owes here friend a excuse though lol ! your reason for not doing something is your business!!
Roodianne Tide you don't no how much people earn here in the uk even working full time you barely have money left over I was brought up not to expect a gift but be grateful if you do get one if you bring a gift doesn't define a friendship if your friendship
With my first child, I did not have a babyshower because I lived in a different state and so far away from family, it just didn't work out. But for the next baby, I want to have a celebration!!!! One to celebrate the new baby and two to celebrate my daughter becoming a big sister!!