7 Asexual Misconceptions

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ส.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 60

  • @hrmm8504
    @hrmm8504 7 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    I am a proud panromantic asexual. :3

    • @val9169
      @val9169 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Same here :D

  • @RhysezPieces
    @RhysezPieces 8 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I had a chat with my mom about this once, just randomly. I actually had to correct her when she tried to say that relationships that turn into marriage need to involve sex or the USA won't accept the marriage as legit. Why on earth would the government give a damn if you and your spouse were having the sexy-times? That's like PETA coming to your house and being like, "Have you walked your dog lately? Huh? HUH?! Well, no dogs for you!"

  • @SmileyFacesUnite
    @SmileyFacesUnite 9 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    This was PERFECT and so comprehensive and funny and accurate and I love it.

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  9 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      SmileyFacesUnite Aw thanks! ^^ I really wanted an informative video, but I also wanted to put in some humor to keep it fun!

  • @Littlewolfelvendar
    @Littlewolfelvendar 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I am pansexual and completely in love with your explanations! Your humor is fantastic and the video helped solidify a better understanding of asexuality for me. Thank you for making it!

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm very happy to hear that!! That was one of the main goals, to get non-aces understand our side better!

  • @nordesse
    @nordesse 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I found out that I'm heteromantic asexual, and I'm so happy I did.

  • @QuirkyCraft
    @QuirkyCraft 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm asexual biromantic and I get a lot of "You haven't met the right person" "you're too young to know" etc. I am a proud Ace and I don't care what they say!! :D This was a great video I really enjoyed it :)

  • @fandomcosplayer9584
    @fandomcosplayer9584 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I'm asexual and debating on whether I'm panromantic or biromantic

  • @k.mcclune1794
    @k.mcclune1794 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I told my mom that I was ace and she said, you know that whole thing about meeting the right person. I tried to explain that even if I meet the right person I might not want to have sex with them (I'm panromantic). I was wondering if you could or are doing a video about ace and different romantics... yeah?

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Okay, so this is going to be a very long reply. You ready for it?
      Currently I don't have a plan to make another ace-video, even though I've had several ideas over the past two years since I made this video. It never felt right, it sometimes felt too personal. I feel like there are plenty of videos explaining all the terms, but at the same time.. it's a text book definition. I think where most of the miscommunication happens - and what I experience most when talking about it with friends - is that they don't have very clear examples. Most asexual representation in media is either non-existence or.. plain bad. The few occasions where it's done right, it's still just a side-plotline. We're getting more visibility, and thankfully so. But I feel that especially in online fan-content that wants to be very inclusive, I've mostly seen aces portrayed as "this person is aro-ace so no touching this one haha!"
      I'm aro-ace. That's not my experience. I'm awkward and desperate for love. I get "butterflies" but I don't know what to do with them. Kissing is gross to me. Sex? Never thought about it. Never want it. Very sex-repulsed. Yikes. Nope. Still, I want a QPR one day. I want to share my life with someone. I don't identify as panromantic, because even though I seek intimacy, it's not the same intimacy we in our society identify as romantic, but it's not exactly platonic either. And I don't blame people for portrayed aro-aces as only wanting friendships, because that's the kind of intimacy I understand best and am most comfortable with. But it's not the entire picture either.
      We're underrepresented. And that's why we need to set our foot down. Which is terrifying, because we're challenging a whole new aspect of love and relationships that so far, has gone unchallenged. And those we are different are laughed at, or are shoved to the side (think of those awful "old cat ladies" or the "40-year-old virgin nerdy man" stereotypes). Now I don't know your mom. Maybe she needs time to process (after all, you probably had some time already to process it all, right?) maybe she is just being awful. I don't know. But know that YOU'RE right. Your mom just needs (time) to adjust, because you're not just saying "hey I'm ace!" that might set you in a different light, you're challenging her entire belief system of what love and relationships should be. One that, she did not question, because she probably agrees with it.
      I don't know either if you're sex-repulsed or not. But don't be afraid to put your foot down. Remind your mom that, sex needs consent. This is not some sort of "if you don't like the food you can just spit it out and never eat it again" type of thing. This is sex we're talking about. No, scratch that, without consent, this is RAPE we're talking about. Rape is always violent. Rape is always taking something that was not freely given. Even if you otherwise love your partner. That is NOT their decision. It always HAS to be YOURS. If you're uncomfortable with sex, then are you really giving consent? Because I don't think that you are... Sex can be fun. And that's probably what your mom's referring to, because she has had sex in a consensual environment. THEN sex is fun. You know when sex isn't fun? When it's rape.
      There's no "meeting the right person" when you never think about sex. There's no "what if you just try it" if you're uncomfortable. And hey, maybe you meet someone, and you're curious... That's different. But the key is communication with your partner. Because if they love you, that means they want you to be comfortable. It means they want you to be safe. And if they want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable: leave. Don't look back. This is not a "pushing your comfort zones" kinda thing. This is not your (potential) partner's choice and it most certainly isn't your mom's choice. It's yours.
      I'm sorry if I'm very preachy, but too often I see aces going "well I don't like sex, but I do it for my partner and it's over soon enough so..." and I flinch when I read statements like those because that cannot be consensual... I know there are aces who don't experience sexual attraction, but still enjoy sex, and with a consenting partner, that's obviously okay. Have fun! But my heart goes out to everyone who thinks they NEED to have sex. And this is why you need to tell your mother, time after time again, that it's not her choice. That if you don't want sex, it's your decision. That your mom probably doesn't want someone to grab you from the streets and have "sex" with you (AKA the kind of rape that's usually the only one defined as rape), because that's clearly not okay.
      Challenge your mom's views, because that's essentially what you need to do. Is she straight? Ask her why she isn't attracted to women. Is she attracted to men? Ask her why she isn't attracted to every single man on the planet. Ask her why, even if she attracted to someone, she might not go for it for various reasons. Is she married? Ask her how she knows it's "the right person". It might've been once, but is it gonna be forever? Make her see through your eyes. Describe what kind of intimacy you'd like to have one day (be it cuddles or being showered in kisses, or staying up late night slouched on a couch and playing dumb video games). Show the kind of relationships in media that comes closest to your experience (e.g. I usually use Sherlock/Joan from Elementary as an example that could be a QPR, and something that looks ideal to me, except with maybe more cuddles).
      Chances are, your mom says the "you just need to find the right person yet" because that's what she's used to. She might say it to give you hope. Tell her that's not the hope you want. That she's wrong. Show her ace-videos on TH-cam. Hell, show her this comment, idc. It's gonna be a long and tiresome process, but if you really want your mom to understand, that's sadly the way to go forward. You're challenging her world views, and that's tough.
      But let me tell you this, I'm glad that I discovered asexuality. Because without a doubt, I've dodged a lifelong trauma of being raped by a person I otherwise thought I loved. Ever since I've been identifying as aro-ace (about 2,5 years aro and 3,5 years ace) I've grown so much comfortable with myself. I've set boundaries I did not know I could set. I understood myself and my past more clearly. My identity has helped me understand myself in ways I did not know imaginable. And you might relate to that feeling to. So try to celebrate that, okay? And if your mom doesn't accept it, know that there will come people who will understand it. And will accept it. And those people will be the right people for you. :)

    • @k.mcclune1794
      @k.mcclune1794 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      BannedFromZoos I understand why you're not doing another video :)
      I just feel a bit alone, I know I'm not... but it can't be helped sometimes. Not to mention I live in a country where there are no LGBTQ+ rights, yet, hopefully. I know people who had to leave the country to get married. I wish the people here could be less narrow minded and understand that we are all people.
      Before I found out I was ace and panrom, I identified myself as straight... as straight as a ruler, but then I found out I kinda liked girls..... and I was shocked, cause I was like no, this cant be, its against the bible, it's against God. So for a while I was paranoid about everything I did. What if someone found out? What if someone already knew? So it took a while but I started going by bisexual, because I still felt like I liked some guys... but something felt off, even though I like the girls and guys around me, I never wanted to have sex with them. I wanted to hug and maybe kiss, and lay on the couch and watch a movie while eating snacks or something. I felt like I loved them, but never wanted to have sex with them. So then I did a bit of digging and I found out I wasn't a weirdo who didn't want to have sex, I am just ace. :)
      Then I started to wonder, but if im ace... why do I still like other people? And that's when I stumbled upon the different types of romantics.
      I feel like my parents first need to be properly educated about different sexualities and romantics, before they can fully understand me. thanks for the help.

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm very sorry you live in a country with no lgbt+ rights. In that case, above all, please be safe. Your safety matters, and your life matters. Even though you live in a country where it might seem it doesn't. If you can, and aren't censored, there are plenty of online communities so you don't have to feel alone.
      I'm lucky enough to live in a country with pretty decent lgbt rights, but I still found a small online community of other queer people that are incredible important to me and make me feel less alone. If you ever want to talk about ace stuff or other queer stuff, you're totally welcome to come talk to me. my url is both bannedfromzoos on tumblr and twitter where it's easier to talk privately.
      Keep safe out there and keep fighting the good fight! :)

  • @sophieb7309
    @sophieb7309 9 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    *Screaming at the beauty of your icon*

  • @Canemikat
    @Canemikat 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The sarcasm at the end was beautiful!!!!

  • @Citrine-K
    @Citrine-K 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The STR8 POLICE part made me laugh!

  • @rosebencosme0319
    @rosebencosme0319 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank You for this.

  • @griffinraynor8425
    @griffinraynor8425 9 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This was a really cute and educational video :D

  • @yumiulrich4eva
    @yumiulrich4eva 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm asexual and celibate. B)
    (heard way too many times about the 'you'll find the right person someday' so annoying)

  • @dreyaalexandra551
    @dreyaalexandra551 8 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    OMG YOU ARE AMAZING!!!

  • @k.mcclune1794
    @k.mcclune1794 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    yes, go ahead and have lots, And Lots, AND LOTS... of beautiful babies. :')

  • @cunningwolf4516
    @cunningwolf4516 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Now I got somthing to back me up

  • @cam2247
    @cam2247 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    For those who say the world needs babies, I would ask them if they were in a heterosexual relationship where they were using protection or have gotten surgery which stops the act of conception. If they were then you can argue that they’re “robbing” the world of developing offspring.

  • @gamerzultra2029
    @gamerzultra2029 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think I may be asexual

  • @That_Ozian
    @That_Ozian 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm the ace on the far right with the :o face. That's my entire life

  • @jazzyreily2310
    @jazzyreily2310 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    thank you for making this.

  • @meowpoint1403
    @meowpoint1403 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm ace.

  • @Fandommember
    @Fandommember 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    you forgot to curse those who chant about lives being about children to wish for them to enjoy paying for all their kids to go to college, and for food to feed their herd of babies.

  • @Astronomater
    @Astronomater 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wonderful video. I am an aro ace parent!

  • @harrilahti-luopa5953
    @harrilahti-luopa5953 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am Christian and asexual. It IS ok.

  • @tutofsweden3259
    @tutofsweden3259 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    it is physically impossible to not have ANY attraction

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      +Tut Of Sweden lmao, says who? You? Grow up. Just because *you* can't imagine not feeling sexual attraction doesn't mean anyone else can't. I, for one, am perfectly content without it.

    • @thomas.g9220
      @thomas.g9220 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ok

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh lord here we go... Care to elaborate before I smash your pathetic acephobic arguments in the trash where they belong?

    • @tutofsweden3259
      @tutofsweden3259 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Basic biology, if you have went through puberty then guess what, you have HORMONES and hormones cause sexual desire. A lack of testosterone/estrogen would signify a disorder, but I'm going to assume none of you have it because you wouldn't be going around like its a sexuality.
      Tuners Syndrome (Proof of a disorder where you can't have sex)
      ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/turner-syndrome
      Puberty (Proof you simply don't want to have sex)
      www.yourhormones.info/hormones/testosterone.aspx
      en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrogen BannedFromZoos

    • @BannedFromTheaters
      @BannedFromTheaters  8 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      +Tut Of Sweden Ah, the good ol' hormones argument. I suspected you would use that one. Alrighty, lets first debunk your Turner Syndrome argument! Turner Syndrome (TS), according to your source, appears to only be present in females (XX chromosomes), thus excluding male, possibly trans folks and intersex people with different sets of chromosomes (remember that XX and XY aren't the only set of chromosomes? From basic biology!) all of these people can identify as asexual and not be affected by TS!
      Secondly, TS appears to be found in 1/2500 XX-chromosomal-people, while 1/100 people identify as ace. So yes, there might be someone out there who has both TS and is ace, but let's take a closer look to TS, shall we? Apparently short stature is already seen from AGE 5 (!!!) And says "many affected girls do not undergo puberty unless they receive hormone therapy." Now, I cannot speak for EVERY female ace out there, but I'm a female ace. Lucky you! As you will know - from basic biology - hormones don't just affect your "sex" they also affect your secondary sex characteristics, like breast-development, grow of hair, grow spurt, wider hips, etc. Funnily enough, I *didn't* need hormone therapy, because I went through puberty perfectly fine on my own. I got my grew spurt, my breasts, hairy armpits and every month I bleed out of my vagina. Hurray! AKA: my hormones are perfectly fine.
      But still no sexual attraction?? Nope. Here you make another mistake, you assume libido = sexual attraction. It's not (lmao did you even watch my video or did you just go into the comment section to spew misinformation?) Libido is (and I quote from wikipedia): "Libido (...) is a person's overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity" while sexual ATTRACTION is "an *emotional* response sexual people feel where they find someone sexually appealing". These things are vastly different. Ever wondered why you feel sexual attraction to one person but not another? Maybe you don't even feel sexual attraction to entire genders! To put it simple libido is "body says NOW!" while sexual attraction is "body says THAT ONE!" But there's no defined line what's a "normal amount of libido". That's because everybody's libido is different. Now if you always felt a lot of sexual attraction and SUDDENLY you feel nothing, than yes, I'd say go to your doctor because something might be wrong. BUT! A lot of ace people have always had a low libido that never changed (like myself). Some ace people on the other hand, do have a high libido, but still feel no sexual attraction. It varies A LOT around the ace spectrum!
      Now let's debunk that testerone source of yours just for funsies. "this may give rise to disorders of your sex development". By sex they just mean your penis dude, not the act of sex. "Fail to develop full sexual characteristics" is, again, not about sex, but those secondary sexual characteristics we talked earlier about, like grow spurt, hairy parts, lowering voice, etc. And lastly, the mention of low testorone says (according to YOUR source): "inadequate erections and poor sexual performance", which again, has nothing to do with asexuality. Ace men can still have erections, it's just not directed to a specific person, it's just a bodily function. Sexual PERFORMANCE has nothing to do with asexuality either.
      Honestly, it seems like you just don't understand asexuality and got to your own conclusions without proper research. If you want to ACTUALLY know what asexuality is, please, rewatch my video and check out the many sources I've provided in the video description. Got any more questions? You can find me here to debunk your sources and dismantle your acephobic arguments. Have a nice day! :D