The only relationship I subscribe to is the "Waitstaff Test.". If the person you're dating is blatantly rude and nasty to the waiters/waitresses at a restaurant for no reason, that is usually a red flag.
I’m a retail worker. The amount of times the women are just BATSHIT CRAZY and the man just stands there. I’m sorry (I’m saying that because I’m nice overall, I just don’t mean it in regards to these people) but you’re being judged. You married that? Where is your honor, your pride? On a different note, that on top already knowing no one cares about you and the by-stander practice (customers being abusive and no one says anything, or someone is holding up the line but you take it out on the employees) just tears away your faith in humanity. Tears, because you had it, you truly, genuinely care about people and they can’t even show the most minor bit of humanity. We don’t want please or thank you, just do nothing. So yeah. Waitstaff test is absolutely pivotal.
Because sadly a lot of men (not all of them but an overwhelming majority) care about her looks more than who she is and they're fine overlooking a crappy personality as long as she's hot. Some women do it too but from my own observations it's is not a 1:1 ratio.
Ya know, sometimes i like to give things like this the bennicit of the doubt and assume the guys are either in on it too, or that the girls are only doing it for the trends and making up with their bf after every silly test. Ive seen some who do these tests and the guy fails but they still uplode videos together and do more tests with the same guy, wich makes it seem like they just dont act the same when the camera is off and that they actually have a decent relationship. But idk, some people are just insane.
As a gen-z I am appalled by the lengths people are going to to make sure their relationship is tiktok approved, like??? How about we have happiness theory, where it's just "Does your partner make you happy? Yes? Congrats!" and then everyone calms tf down
But even with your theory it is not nor never will be that simple to a majority population in society that even needs the question that at the time of their lives
8:55 if the role was reversed (men expecting their GF / wife to clean up ketchup) every single one of these same women would be screaming “mysogny!!” like banshees
For real if someone intentionally makes a mess and then orders me to "clean up!" And is more than 5 years old, we're gonna have a problem, whatever gender. Absolutely not!
The 'bird test' is a perversion of a real communication issue in relationships. Someone who refuses to engage with their partner's joy or interests is a red flag. But you don't pick something arbitrary like a bird, a bird is just the example that people use to explain this. It's not meant to be a 1:1 test??? It's just recognizing that people who aren't interested in your interests, aren't interested in you.
The ketchup test is absolutely insane- like- no sane person is going to clean up after you after you deliberately make the mess. If you do that and your partner refuses, I’d say that’s a success because your partner is sane and has boundaries.
@@jennym81 The difference is one is a relationship where someone *chose* to bring a life into the world and is therefore responsible for that human being until they can do things themselves. Another is a relationship where both parties are equal and are fully functional asults… hopefully.
I’m Gen Z and I’ve never understood why people feel the need to “test” their partners. If your partner makes you feel happy and loves you, then they love you. There’s no secret motive underneath.
something i appreciate about my own boyfriend, other than making me the happiest i've ever been in my life, is that he's not afraid of calling me out if i'm being an idiot now this seldom happens, if ever, but god is it nice to not have a vacuum chamber within a relationship
My grandma and grandpa were married 52 years before they passed (within the same year). My grandpa used to turn off his hearing aid when my grandma would nag him from the next room. He'd just sit there, watching Columbo, while my grandma would go on and on from the kitchen. It's one of my favorite memories of my grandparents! They loved each other more than these kids could ever imagine nowadays!
My grandad would sit next to the phone ignoring it while it was ringing. On the off chance he answered it, even if they wanted to talk to him, he'd pass the phone straight to my nan
I work at a pharmaceutical lab. The dissolution chambers here contain a sterilization substance which is so potent that only 10ml of it on skin contact will kill you. I work regularly with detergent made of bleach and lye, both substances that will easily eat through flesh. In college I worked on experiments with radioactive salt solutions and x-ray machines. I also forage for wild mushrooms and have come across many funeral bells and destroying angels - fungi that absolutely deserve those names and will kill you if you eat even just one cap. And yet, In all my time, I have never seen anything as toxic as these relationship “tests”
no, you cant point out the double standard of women! fr tho, if they can be mad about you refusing to clean their mess or peel their orange, men are allowed to be mad about not being made sandwiches.
And for many decades men have worked in factories and in the fields and women stayed home and clean and men were the head of the household so bc men worked all day and made the money of course the women could make them a sandwich
@@lanatureestlartdedieu9591 mine was a lighthearted joke, but how people choice to read/perceive the comment and others says more about them than it does about the actual comment made.
I don't think so, social media existed before smartphones did, well the first generation anyways, and it was nowhere near as toxic. The smartphone enabled us to be always online. Back in the day you had to GO TO THE COMPUTER to access social media, which limited your exposure time and forced you into real world situations without it. Doomscrolling, modern algorithms, and all this stupid stuff we see is a product of post-smartphone social media design. So in a way, without smartphones social media would've evolved differently and probably wouldn't have been as prevalent. So maybe it is the darn phone after all, and modern social media is the symptom. @Lucas-mk1gi
@starsiegeRoks The most "toxic" part of MySpace was explaining to people who thought they were your best friend why they didn't even make your top 8 xD Early social media was awesome. You customized your page, set up a little music playlist, and did the silly quizzes that your friends shared. With most people only having a family computer, I never spent more than 1 hour on Myspace because other people in my family had things to do, or my brother wanted to log on for his time to message his friends and play Mafia Wars. Having a supercomputer in my pocket all the time now, I deleted FB and IG, I'm glad I never got into Twitter or TikTok as it seems that is where most brain rot stems from. YT is the only "social media" I use now, but I would be lying if I didn't have that urge to reinstall FB at least twice a week.
The lifespan of your relationship is a test. Both people in the relationship unconsciously test each other do their patterns of action and things that they do consciously are unconsciously. You don't have to go out of your way to prove if your relationship is strong or not with these stupid tests and challenges for attention and clout
1:15 Me and my partner are the opposite of the stereotype. I could carry him up a hill, but I’m certain he couldn’t carry me up a hill. He’s about two thirds of my weight, and very short. But I still love him. I don’t get why he needs to be able to carry me up a hill. I’m 5’5 and he is 5’1. (Yes we’re both short). I don’t expect him to be able to carry me.
Dang people on internet really brainwash into thinking that a guy below 6' can't get settled with someone else cuz I am 5'8 and they consider it very short. But I think your story did create some hope for the short kings
"it's a survival test!! if we were ever in the situation where you need to carry me up a hill we would need that!!" girl focus on not getting in that situation in the first place..
💯 I'm a muscular guy and my wife's a beautiful plus sized girl, she wouldn't want me trying to pick her up! Only time I fireman carried someone on my back was when I was trying to join the military and we were doing combat fitness. Why are people making tests for relationships? I'm a millennial y'all, I don't get it.
No offense to her, but if we were in a survival situation, the last thing I’d want is more dead weight. I’m already probably going to be carrying all of our food, water, tools, camping and survival gear. If you can’t make it up a goddamn hill on your own, I’m leaving your ass lol. What possible benefit could you bring to my group in the coming zombie apocalypse, if you can’t even climb up a freaking hill? You are the weakest link! Goodbye! Lol
For real, I’d be mad enough that they’re wasting copious amounts of my favorite condiment in this freaking economy, asking me to clean up the mess they clearly intentionally made? Nah. You can get tf out, and buy your own ketchup from now on. We’re done sharing custody lol.
Honestly with the ketchup thing (which is so dumb) they could have done something like this, spill a LITTLE BIT of ketchup and then go to your partner like “hey babe I accidentally spilled some ketchup on the counter while making food, could you clean it up please while I finish eating so it doesn’t stain?”
Stop trying to make sense of this, relationship tests are stupid self sabotage and anyone doing it is an insecure monster who shouldn't be in relationship, they should be in therapy.
my boyfriend couldn’t carry me up a hill, hell he can’t carry me at all except for on his back, but we’re celebrating our 5 year anniversary soon and i can get myself up a hill
I feel like most people can’t carry another fully grown human up a hill. That takes a lot of strength. The average Joe can’t do that, that’s a lot of work!
With my Ex I could carry him quite easily but that because he has an illness that makes him thinner and well alot lighter - Would I carry him up a hill? Maybe if he was injured but like - No not for the fun really
Well, you never know when we might fall back into the 1790s again and your horse ran off and you sprained an ankle. Then you need your man to come wondering around the fields to find you and then carry you home. 😂
I have a theory that doesn’t pertain to this trend, but it’s more of general thing, even if it can apply. I think the financial insecurity as well as not having sources, more importantly safe sources, of love, care and affection, acceptance that’s going on (parents not being great or quitting after you’re 18 and then the battle of the sexes on top) is causing both genders to want that monkey brain, safety and security mutually provided that Neanderthals or cave people perhaps needed to survive. It’s just a theory and I never claimed to be a professional of any kind.
At this point they need to only date firefighters or emergency workers and deal with being constantly ignored by them they are too busy to carry them up a hill😂😂
My daughter is 30, and has never been in a relationship because this is the garbage she doesn't want to have to deal with. Every story she tells about her friends' relationships are like this...the partners "testing" each other, playing games with each other, manipulating each other...and they've been like this in all their relationships since their teens.
@@Terri_MacKay I’m 31, and we’re not all like that. I don’t really hang out with anyone my age, anymore. I stick to myself, and my family, mostly. Even as a teen, I always tended to date and hangout with people 4 or 5 years older than me, because everyone my age always seemed so juvenile and childish. The suburbs are particularly bad, I think. Mostly a bunch of entitled kids, who went to college on daddy’s money, or work for their dad’s businesses, or whatever. Your daughter should try to date blue collar guys. We’re too busy working, for all these nonsense tests, and social media crap. I haven’t dated in a while, because everyone in my liberal state just seems so toxic. If it wasn’t for family, I’d move out to a rural area, where at least some people still have morals and values.
I've been saying this for years and people make fun of me for still being single. I am 31 and have never had a serious relationship and I am perfectly content with my solitude and peace.
i TOTALLY agree with what hayley said, especially at the beginning of the video. everyone always says ‘omg i wanna be in a relationship so baddd’ but it never appealed to me and im so happy that someone else shares my sentiments :))
Women saying, "I really want an orange right now" in a request form reminds me of my children. If they say they want something, I will naturally help them to get it and peel it. So, basically these women are reverting back to children under 6 years old in order to prove if their significant other loves them enough. Ffs. 😂 Side note: Women worked hard not to be treated like children, so these women are reverting back to that as well without even realizing it. That's disturbing.
As a guy, why would you disrespect all of the noble women who came before you, their lifelong efforts just to gain equality, and devolve like this? This reminds me of the cringe “sigma male” lifestyle that got super popular a while back.
Don't forget the ketchup test. Might as well say "Papa, i made a mess. Can yu clean it up?" another example of tiktok women infantilizing themselves after we worked so hard to not be treated as children.
I never really care what people do in their relationships is none of my concern, but I can't imagine myself randomly taking pictures of my partner, let alone filming them. Y'know there is this thing called ASKING? It's not hard and it takes 2.5 seconds.
I like to film/photograph my partner without asking, because he gets all cute and flustered about it, but the difference is that we already had a discussion about it and I only do it cause I know he doesn't mind. There's also a difference between recording memories for yourself and your partner, and recording a tiktok of them for internet points. These hoes are crazy
The best tip for a relationship to be healthy is to trust each other and to communicate with each other, as well as treating each other with respect and dignity. TikTok is a bad guide to such stuff. A heretic cannot claim to be a holy man, yes?
The bird test kind of reminded me of this self help book called The Relationship Cure where they did studies on couples to see if they were right that close, happy relationships are based on sharing deep personal stories and information with each other. What they actually found was that couples that reported deeper happiness were not constantly talking about very deep things with each other, although it would happen. Basically what they were doing that was working comes down to this thing called an emotional bid. An emotional bid is essentially a big or small attempt to engage with your partner. It could be something as simple as wanting to tell them about your day and how they respond to that, or it could be more serious like getting help from when you have an injury, or it could be asking for a hug, basically anything that is an attempt to interact with your partner. When one partner is attempting an emotional bid, the other partner has a few different choices. They could turn towards that emotional bid which is to respond very positively and enthusiastically with it. They could turn away from that emotional bid which looks more like a non-committal response are very low energy response. Or they can turn against the emotional bid where they get angry or upset or punish you in some way for the attempt. Couples that reported deeper happiness long-term and day-to-day showed that they were turning towards their partners emotional bids and vice versa more often than not. An example could be pointing something out that excited you like a bird, or it could be requiring physical help when you actually need it, or it could be "hey look at this meme" or something. But the issue is that it's not a test with a pass fail that tells you whether or not a partner secretly hates you or actually loves you. The book basically talks about learning to recognize when your partner is attempting to make an emotional bid and making more of an effort to turn towards their emotional bids to show that they matter and that you care. These TikTok tests are basically emotional bids in a way, but they are roleplaying it in a disingenuous way. It's tainted. Especially when you see that they're taking the tests so literally and specifically that even when their partner is turning towards this faux emotional bid like offering to cut up an orange for them or offering to get them a fruit cup instead or whatever, that isn't good enough for them. The thing about learning about emotional bids is that it isn't supposed to be a new way to test your partner. It would be something that you bring up with your partner and discuss and make an effort together to turn towards each other's emotional bids. Because some people just don't realize in the moment that being attentive towards your partners emotional bids is important because they don't even know what that is or that they're doing something that might cause sadness or resentment over time. Seeing how your partner responds to your emotional bids is important, but don't use it as another test to manipulate your partner into performing a certain way. Discuss emotional bids together and create genuine happiness together. Not tests. If after discussing emotional bids with each other, you find that they are still turning away or against, talk with them! Happy relationships build on each other and you work out how best to show each other you care. If through discussion, you don't that they don't care, they lash out, etc, then that is useful information about your relationship. Anyway I really enjoyed that book. I found it because of an assignment I had for a sociology class, where we had to pick a self-help book that was written by actual educated experts in the field that it was discussing, and was based on real research. We had a lot of requirements to make sure that we weren't picking just some random celebrity self-help book. If anyone finds this concept interesting, I would highly recommend reading the book itself rather than just my summary of it.
the “toward, against, away” thing is also used in psychology to describe people’s behavior around other people, which I think is really interesting! Toward is seeking out attention and validation from people, against is being manipulative, standoffish, and/or starting fights, and away is isolating oneself and being hesitant to let others in
Thank you for this very interesting comment ! I've been married for 5 years (together for 15) and you actually helped me understand better my partner and even myself.
Some women are coming to a harrowing realization that their male partners are, shocker, actual people and not just servants to them. Yes it’s good to be loving and spoil your so, but it’s not something you can demand lol
@@amityblight9818ya know y'all always say it's a joke until you all try to tie it to real life and actual men... It's not a joke anymore but you trying to prove a very stupid point This is the same things that women got on men about for harmless "jokes" If this simple concept is lost on you then idk what to tell you A lot of girls say these very harmful things are jokes when they get called out If you're the only ones laughing then it's not funny
Just watched this and thank you. I'm Gen X and "old". I'm getting up there and okay with it. No reason to fear it. I am so glad my 18 year old told me to check out your videos and so happy you are the one she's watching instead of other influencers who are promoting fake body positivity.
4:23 THIS. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SAD SLIDESHOW, NOT THAT CRINGE ONE. IT WAS A SWEET RELATIONSHIP AND ONE PERSON DIES. THATS THE ORIGINAL ONE, PEOPLE JUST MADE IT CRINGE.
As someone who has been married for almost 8 years, this is some of the most ignorant and childish junk I've heard. No one should be testing their significant other to validate their relationship. If this is real and not just faked for clout, these people are NOT ready for any type of relationship. I can't believe these are adults.
Their is also a test men do on women, if you give her flowers and she nourishes the flowers a bit, she passes, if she sets it aside to let it rot, then that is a red flag.
Other media were fine until they tried to copy tiktoks. Instagram was faulty for causing body issues to young people but that was all about it. Now even TH-cam with it's shorts is a bad influence. These people need to find a hobby or get a job
What happend to "allowing for relationship to flow naturally" so that maybe or maybe not a simple acquaintanceship might lead to a closer relationship, these people are control-freaks with some major red flags to think these relationship-tests are somehow nessecary! I'm also not in a romantic relationship and never plan to be in one, this world's human-society is already overpopulated and sick in the head about romantic/sexual love as it is and it needs to stop.
7:07 you are got to be kidding me... I cut and peeled an orange for my girlfriend literally at Sunday at the hotel breakfast cuz she bites her nails so I have to peel anything for her lmao. I cant
The way they "test" their partner to see if they "love them" make me go "Ok but do YOU love THEM?" With these tests they sure don't act like it... These tests are straight-up manipulative and controlling, and girlie, that ain't cute. The worst part of it all is that I can with 100% confidence say that these women have a double standard, where if their partner did these tests on them, they'd call them an asshole for it...
Call them an asshole. Shame them on EVERY outlet they can get their poop-scooping nails on. Hell, some of them seem like the potential crazies that would call authorities over some fake shit just to get back at their SO for not abiding every little thing they ask. Crazy runs deep.
if someone did a relationship test on me i would immediately break up with them. it's a red flag to me. you're deciding whether i love you or not based on some stupid test someone on tiktok came up with...
Social isolation has noted adverse health effects, such as increased risk for cardiovascular disease, depression and anxiety disorders. The human brain is evolved with a strong need for communal support. This hyper fixation on individualism in modern western society has gotten to the point of straight up delusion. Not only in this way but I’ll stop there.
9:37 girly, I never felt as cringe in my entire life watching this ketchup test. Because wth, it’s rude, just imagine him doing that, you’d say he’s abusing you. I’d never known these trends even as a Gen-Z especially because I was never allowed to use tiktok (and I never liked the tiktok content either afterwards) but I guess mom made the right decision in not letting me use tiktok 😅.
@@marklouis1890 That test has its place. You need to be able to medevac your battle buddy even uphill in a timely manner. But sorry, no fraternisation allowed.
And whether or not the dude works out.. some ppl just don't go to the gym, not a crime yk Also, what's with ppl and using the word "survival"? 😭 We aren't cavemen anymore there's nothing to "survive".
@@cosmichild1 I think he's talking about the hipothetical situation, a sedentary man and a bit overweight could carry his 100lb girlfriend if that's needed for survival. But as you said, that's irrelevant to real life unless you're so adventurous that you are frequently traversing mountains without any equipment and training...
I think the feeling that you need to test your relationship is a good indicator it’s going to fail, regardless of your partners’ response. Edit: I see you said this same thing at the end.
If someone is this insecure about their relationship then they shouldn't be in one until they learn to trust the person they are supposed to trust the MOST outside of family
The bird thing is a distortion of a study that showed that couples that responded to each other's bids for attention, such as pointing out a bird, were generally more stable and content relationships. It has nothing to do with looking at a bird one time, it's just responding with interest to your partner.
"I've never been in a relationship before" All I heard was "I was exposed to too much tiktok and my view of relationships are unrealistic, not actually happening and silly"
12:02 im used to pointing out small things, so it actually means a lot to me that my partner can keep up with it, like i will literally point out an ant on the floor for no reason. But if they even look and say nothing, or dont look but just call me cute/weird... i really dont care. Or if they accidentally ignore me and i "sulk" and they start messing around with me like idk... just find fun and kind men idk. Why tf are they running lab experiments?
My own family points out animals that gather outside our window sometimes (We live near a forest.) Not exactly every day they do that, so it's usually pretty cool
I know it’s not the focus of the video, but it’s kind of comforting to hear you have similar thoughts as me - not caring to date or anything. Everyone around me always questions me and tries to push me to date and find someone to marry. All my friends are either married/dating or planning their whole life around their nonexistent partner. I’m happy single as I am, doing what I want and enjoying life with my friends and family. I have zero desire for that kind of relationship. Maybe that will change one day, but I for sure don’t need a partner to live a fulfilled life. My married brother cannot understand the concept of “not wanting to have a significant other” He always though every person wants that. He’s been trying to set me up with one of my college friends against my will :/ Sorry for my little sidetracked rant, I needed to get this off my chest :)
@@VideosForYou90 Maybe you fall under the aromantic, asexual or aroace umbrella!! I Am aroace and i felt like there was something wrong with me and then i found out i was aroace and it actually helped me and i dont fell so alone anymore
I couldn’t be with someone who needed to “test” me and I especially couldn’t be with someone who needs validation from social media. I love your voice of reason approach to these topics.
The orange peel test was supposed to find out if your boyfriend annoyed by you asking for a small inconvenience. Instead of course in tiktok fashion the starting using it to judge their boyfriend by annoying them to hell 😭
omg thank you so much for speaking on thissss😭I get so annoyed when these ppl film their partner and ask them these dumbass questions like "Would you still love me if I was a worm?🥺" or "If I disappeared and you got remarried, and I was found, would you leave your wife for meeee???🥺🥺🥺" And I'm like girrrrrrrl, at your grown age your asking these stupid ass questions and your ruining your relationship FOR FREE. WHY??
thess tests sound like something people would do in medieval times in order to prove themselves to be worthy of marriage, like lifting a girl sitting in a basket in order to prove that you're physically strong or carving love spoons to show craftsman's skills. cool and stuff but like it's 21 century let's just idk use our brains and communicate with each other and not just dance mating dances??
i need. absolutely need to have a full conversation with haley one on one (or in a group discussion with others) because i cannot verbally describe how real she is to me. most valid opinions ive ever heard
10:47 alright pal are we talking about the refrigerator one with the one that actually says please, no, that man is not childish, she INTENTIONALLY SPILLED THE KETCHUP THERE. I'M PRETTY SURE HE'D ACTUALLY HELP IF IT WAS ACTUALLY AN ACCIDENT, BUT NOOO. THIS VICTIM BLAMING ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL
My dad would always peel oranges for me, my sister and my mom. It was a little thing we did every other night, we’d all be downstairs before bed and eat oranges
@@ippanpedrozo1162 that isn’t the same thing lol. Men are always coddled and pampered while women are EXPECTED to do all housework. If a man can’t take care of himself but expects others to do it for him its a clear sign of a failed male. Women testing their male partners is different when you read actual statistics based on how men are 5x more likely to leave their sick/dying wives too. Women when dating or married to men are statistically seen to end up with shorter lifespans, higher chances of depression, and are more likely to die by their male partners hands than any other relative. So it makes sense to test their partners especially when society is quick to blame women for “choosing wrong!!” In the first place
I have like, a handful of amazing things that have come from tiktok, but it's a drop in comparison to the ocean of negative, awful garbage tikrok spreads.
Tiktok should been ban long ago. The amount of dead beat content is insane. Yeah no wonder the current and new gen is gonna be lonely forever. Amount of BS is just wow... so glad im single.
Never in a million years would I think it was a good idea to deliberately make a mess and ask my beloved partner to clean it up. That's like bullying/controlling behavior.
As a member of gen z (regrettably), I've grown disgusted with so-called "dating" and, therefore, have stopped. Dating is no longer dating. It's just hooking up and it's a complete waste of time. Plus, most relationships (from what I've seen) are incredibly fake now. Heck, I have come to hate Valentines Day more than I ever have because of what it's come to represent.
As a millennial, I can honestly say that it's not just a generational thing. It's a late teens to mid 20s thing. As you approach your pate 20s and into your 30s, people tend to chill.
I’m also from Gen Z, and I’m quite afraid that it will be hard to find love at this rate. It would be very, very hard to find someone who is at least a bit selfless.
same, i just find people our age so dishonest and oddly entitled and also theres this lack of commitment like people especially zoomer women expect things to be perfect, life is a struggle unfortunately sometimes the man needs help too but when it happens they bail out its really depressing
I hate seeing people happy together. It makes me feel so depressed and lonely. But at the same time I can’t mentally deal with love.. then again I want it so badly.”
Hayley, out of all the videos I have binged, this was very, EXTREMELY difficult to watch. The second hand embarrasment of those videos was too much to handle for me girl...
This is the stupidest shit ever. 🤦♀️ I despise eating corn on the cob so my husband takes it off the cob for me. 😅 I should start a corn on the cob theory 🙄
i wanna point out that the hill test is also ableist because some people are physically incapable of carrying another person. The ketchup test makes me so mad. That's a red flag to me, if you're going to willingly make a mess and then expect someone else to clean it up? gtfo. my ex was like that and he believed that me expecting him to clean up his own messes was "toxic and juvenile"
yeah that had me thinking lol…my dad has joint problems, multiple chronic illnesses, and autoimmune diseases so i don’t think he would want to carry my mom up a hill lol. For what it’s worth my mom once demonstrated to me and my astonished siblings that she could in fact carry my dad on her back. Mom strength is something else.
Even aside from that, I think it’s truly hilarious to think that most people could answer that question with: “I may not be able to CARRY you up, but I’m pretty sure I could DRAG you up.”
the boyfriend walking in the room to dance with her but casually checking behind him first to see if she was recording tells me that he regularly has to check if she’s recording their intimate moments.
OH MY GOD. Lately, I was feeling like shit and was this grumpy, horrible kind of me and my man came and said to me, that he feels unappreciated because I wasn't saying "thank you" after he did something for me. AND I FELT IT IN MY BONES. I FELT ASHAMED. I immediately apologized and now I always make sure to thank him, and be nice and appreciative cause he deserves that as a human being! My mood doesn't change that! How can you not use "please" when you want something? How can you not realize it's unkind and not want to change your behaviour? WHAT IS GOING ON
When I was pregnant I saw a Raffaelo ad on tv (it's something I love and I had been pushing not buying it for a while) and I commented something like "ahhh" to it or wtv. My husband got up and I thought he went to the bathroom but he got dressed and went outside telling me that he would come right back and didn't tell me were he was going. I was left confused because that was not like him at all. Circa 20 minutes later he came home with an entire package of Raffaelos just for me and told me that he didn't tell me were he was going because I would've tried to convince him not to go. So, while I'd say that my husband is pretty great overall, if I behaved like those women he probably wouldn't do what I would ask of him either. Specially the ketchup one. It's so entitled and meanspirited. Doing that to the person you supposedly love seems pretty childish and immature. If my husband did it to me I wouldn't like it either. Relationships are a two way street. Everyone wants to be respected and loved but I don't see the respect or love towards the men in these videos.
i love my bf so much. when we first started dating i complained about my cramps hurting and this man popped up with "if i buy u berries will it make u feel better" the only inclination he had to me liking berries was ordering berry pancakes once. another time we were cooking together. i was in the middle of making dessert and said "this would taste good with icecream", he disappeared for 5 mins, came back dressed up and asked which flavour he should get from the store. then at the store rang me and kept naming all the flavours. me and my bf discussed these once and we both agreed only ppl in unhappy relationships have to do this to prove they're loved, and we both agreed its kinda insane to do that to ur partner.
Well , the only times my husband would do a complete useless trip to get me something I am craving is when I am on bed really sick and hadn’t eaten anything and that particular thing is the only thing that sounds appealing to me …sometimes he even help me sit up and help me eat, before handling me my meds / something to drink, might not be the most romantic thing ever , but he’s really helpful whenever he does that, illnesses, surgeries, etc , I always make sure to say “ thank you “ , and most importantly, he knows I have and will do the same for him. Not romantic, just , real love and care . ❤
as someone's whos been in a high school relationship for 2+ years, it is ASTONISHING how bad people my age are at finding love because THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES. true love is really amazing and im blessed to have found someone who has the same values as me for dating, bc ppl out here are CRAZY
For me "bird test" is a real thing, my boyfriend is always excited about birds, at the beginning it was a bit unusual for me, but now it's a little cute thing he has, and I'm all in to support him in this, and react like it's the best thing I've ever seen in my life every time when he see a beautiful bird😂❤
The orange peel theory is based off of the bird theory (which actually does have psychological backing to it) isn't a pass/fail application. Instead, it's meant to see if the couple expresses toxic behavior in the form of predator/prey behaviour, which both can show it.
@@TamTam9-15 Agreed! But it's all in the thought, not simply just if they pass or fail. Relationships, not just romantic ones, are NOT that black and white. What has come to be our generation today? 💀
Oh, I agree. The person doing the test is obviously the predator. If the one being tested remains with the tester, he becomes the prey and will agonize till eaten.
The only relationship I subscribe to is the "Waitstaff Test.". If the person you're dating is blatantly rude and nasty to the waiters/waitresses at a restaurant for no reason, that is usually a red flag.
Oh 1000%, that casual behaviour makes my skin crawl
Damn straight and next to kids or animals given poor treatment will enrage and disgust me!
I’m a retail worker. The amount of times the women are just BATSHIT CRAZY and the man just stands there. I’m sorry (I’m saying that because I’m nice overall, I just don’t mean it in regards to these people) but you’re being judged. You married that? Where is your honor, your pride?
On a different note, that on top already knowing no one cares about you and the by-stander practice (customers being abusive and no one says anything, or someone is holding up the line but you take it out on the employees) just tears away your faith in humanity. Tears, because you had it, you truly, genuinely care about people and they can’t even show the most minor bit of humanity. We don’t want please or thank you, just do nothing. So yeah. Waitstaff test is absolutely pivotal.
Because sadly a lot of men (not all of them but an overwhelming majority) care about her looks more than who she is and they're fine overlooking a crappy personality as long as she's hot. Some women do it too but from my own observations it's is not a 1:1 ratio.
Yup especially if they treat animals and kids like crap or callously
at this point we can call this self-sabotage
Yep!
real
Absolutely
So real
Yes
I love how these people are TESTING their partners and don't realize how horrible and how much of a red flag these are
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
Lol get some help 😊@ville__
Indeed, no one in their life has said "I fell in love with school more thanks to the pop quizzes!"
Ya know, sometimes i like to give things like this the bennicit of the doubt and assume the guys are either in on it too, or that the girls are only doing it for the trends and making up with their bf after every silly test. Ive seen some who do these tests and the guy fails but they still uplode videos together and do more tests with the same guy, wich makes it seem like they just dont act the same when the camera is off and that they actually have a decent relationship. But idk, some people are just insane.
Imagine getting really toxic relationship test TikTok advice
‘Some of us want to struggle carrying you up the hill.’
Idk why but I love that 😭
as a wanna-be muscle momma, this brings me inspiration 😌💪
It’s called “Tik-tok” to represent time slowly passing as you waste your life away waiting pointless shit
I wonder if someone still remember that in old days it was called Musicaly
HOLY FUCKKK-
OOOOOOOOOH🔥
@@Freeman4815yeah but musically wasn't brainless and time wasting... 😔
SINCE WHEN ARE TESTS A THING FOR LOVE?!😭PEOPLE ARE CRAZZZYYY
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
@@p-__ help what
You need God @@p-__
@@msruagjust ignore it their a bot made by an insane person
Rite. If someone would carry me up the hill I’d be worried they’d be too clingy. Ya know. lol
Relationship tests are a red flag for me
I agree, and I'm arospec
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
?@@p-__
Im ur 100th like! :D
@@amandapanda5087what’s arospec if you don’t mind me asking?
As a gen-z I am appalled by the lengths people are going to to make sure their relationship is tiktok approved, like??? How about we have happiness theory, where it's just "Does your partner make you happy? Yes? Congrats!" and then everyone calms tf down
Exactly people are so stupid these days!
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
Underrated comment.
Wtf are there replies 💀
But even with your theory it is not nor never will be that simple to a majority population in society that even needs the question that at the time of their lives
8:55 if the role was reversed (men expecting their GF / wife to clean up ketchup) every single one of these same women would be screaming “mysogny!!” like banshees
Omg, we had the same thought 😭
Double standards fr fr
FOR REAAALL 😂😂😂
@@imnevergonnaloveagain ikr!
its so sad... but hopefully they are just a little but loud group D:
For real if someone intentionally makes a mess and then orders me to "clean up!" And is more than 5 years old, we're gonna have a problem, whatever gender. Absolutely not!
The 'bird test' is a perversion of a real communication issue in relationships. Someone who refuses to engage with their partner's joy or interests is a red flag. But you don't pick something arbitrary like a bird, a bird is just the example that people use to explain this. It's not meant to be a 1:1 test??? It's just recognizing that people who aren't interested in your interests, aren't interested in you.
Honestly the red flag is "your girlfriend keeps demanding you do things (while filming your response) to test your relationship for tiktok clout"
As someone in a long term relationship, these tests just seem like an “easy out” because they’re too afraid to break up…
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
@@p-__ I’m sure they are
@ville__ I don’t understand what you’re trying to say
@@kittypipkin they are both just random bots that like spamming the comment section it seems
@@Sunny_Frost lmao thank you! Apparently I talk to myself online now too 😹
The ketchup test is absolutely insane- like- no sane person is going to clean up after you after you deliberately make the mess. If you do that and your partner refuses, I’d say that’s a success because your partner is sane and has boundaries.
i agree that is so entitled it made me so angry seeing that
Its almost like telling ur mum to clean up the mess u made 😭😭
It just sounds like how kids are and how parents have to clean after them. What are they trying to say exactly?🤨
@@jennym81 The difference is one is a relationship where someone *chose* to bring a life into the world and is therefore responsible for that human being until they can do things themselves. Another is a relationship where both parties are equal and are fully functional asults… hopefully.
It's like they look for validation for their bad choice/behaviour.
I’m Gen Z and I’ve never understood why people feel the need to “test” their partners. If your partner makes you feel happy and loves you, then they love you. There’s no secret motive underneath.
I know right what do they need to signal to ones brain to put 2 & 2 together
Agreed
I’m a Gen Z Woman and yeah…. It’s weird.
Bro this is not about generations. All women shittest their men. They're simply honest about it now
something i appreciate about my own boyfriend, other than making me the happiest i've ever been in my life, is that he's not afraid of calling me out if i'm being an idiot
now this seldom happens, if ever, but god is it nice to not have a vacuum chamber within a relationship
My grandma and grandpa were married 52 years before they passed (within the same year).
My grandpa used to turn off his hearing aid when my grandma would nag him from the next room. He'd just sit there, watching Columbo, while my grandma would go on and on from the kitchen.
It's one of my favorite memories of my grandparents! They loved each other more than these kids could ever imagine nowadays!
That is absolutely so funny and cute of your grandpa! R.I.P. to both! ❤
My grandad would sit next to the phone ignoring it while it was ringing. On the off chance he answered it, even if they wanted to talk to him, he'd pass the phone straight to my nan
I work at a pharmaceutical lab. The dissolution chambers here contain a sterilization substance which is so potent that only 10ml of it on skin contact will kill you. I work regularly with detergent made of bleach and lye, both substances that will easily eat through flesh. In college I worked on experiments with radioactive salt solutions and x-ray machines. I also forage for wild mushrooms and have come across many funeral bells and destroying angels - fungi that absolutely deserve those names and will kill you if you eat even just one cap. And yet, In all my time, I have never seen anything as toxic as these relationship “tests”
Plot twist: all these years of men saying "babe go make me a sandwich" were just men doing the orange theory all along
no, you cant point out the double standard of women! fr tho, if they can be mad about you refusing to clean their mess or peel their orange, men are allowed to be mad about not being made sandwiches.
And for many decades men have worked in factories and in the fields and women stayed home and clean and men were the head of the household so bc men worked all day and made the money of course the women could make them a sandwich
Damn the people in this reply section seem miserable 😂
@@lanatureestlartdedieu9591 mine was a lighthearted joke, but how people choice to read/perceive the comment and others says more about them than it does about the actual comment made.
@@AJ.9.25 I agree!
You were right Mom, it was always that darn phone 😔
LOL
I think it's more social media than the phone itself :(
@@Lucas-mk1giyeah ig if social media wasn’t THAT toxic then some bad habits and things wouldn’t exist (which is good)
I don't think so, social media existed before smartphones did, well the first generation anyways, and it was nowhere near as toxic.
The smartphone enabled us to be always online. Back in the day you had to GO TO THE COMPUTER to access social media, which limited your exposure time and forced you into real world situations without it.
Doomscrolling, modern algorithms, and all this stupid stuff we see is a product of post-smartphone social media design.
So in a way, without smartphones social media would've evolved differently and probably wouldn't have been as prevalent.
So maybe it is the darn phone after all, and modern social media is the symptom. @Lucas-mk1gi
@starsiegeRoks The most "toxic" part of MySpace was explaining to people who thought they were your best friend why they didn't even make your top 8 xD
Early social media was awesome. You customized your page, set up a little music playlist, and did the silly quizzes that your friends shared. With most people only having a family computer, I never spent more than 1 hour on Myspace because other people in my family had things to do, or my brother wanted to log on for his time to message his friends and play Mafia Wars.
Having a supercomputer in my pocket all the time now, I deleted FB and IG, I'm glad I never got into Twitter or TikTok as it seems that is where most brain rot stems from. YT is the only "social media" I use now, but I would be lying if I didn't have that urge to reinstall FB at least twice a week.
if you REALLY love someone, you shouldnt have to test them.
FR
THANK YOU
The lifespan of your relationship is a test. Both people in the relationship unconsciously test each other do their patterns of action and things that they do consciously are unconsciously. You don't have to go out of your way to prove if your relationship is strong or not with these stupid tests and challenges for attention and clout
🗣️🗣️🗣️👏👏👏
1:39 That was the best "NO!" i've heard
“NAOUH!”
1:15 Me and my partner are the opposite of the stereotype. I could carry him up a hill, but I’m certain he couldn’t carry me up a hill. He’s about two thirds of my weight, and very short. But I still love him. I don’t get why he needs to be able to carry me up a hill. I’m 5’5 and he is 5’1. (Yes we’re both short). I don’t expect him to be able to carry me.
Dang people on internet really brainwash into thinking that a guy below 6' can't get settled with someone else cuz I am 5'8 and they consider it very short. But I think your story did create some hope for the short kings
That’s a real relationship 🎉❤👏
Y’all are tall to me lol. Anyway tho, this is so wholesome
@@angadsingh7080short??? That’s tall.. (5’8)
@@alexparraparra4484 that's three or four inches below average in NA. an inch below average in Australia, where the OP is.
"it's a survival test!! if we were ever in the situation where you need to carry me up a hill we would need that!!" girl focus on not getting in that situation in the first place..
Exactly 😭
💯 I'm a muscular guy and my wife's a beautiful plus sized girl, she wouldn't want me trying to pick her up! Only time I fireman carried someone on my back was when I was trying to join the military and we were doing combat fitness. Why are people making tests for relationships? I'm a millennial y'all, I don't get it.
@@Chill-mm4pn I don't get it either and I'm gen alpha..
And we're not in the old days anymore💀
No offense to her, but if we were in a survival situation, the last thing I’d want is more dead weight. I’m already probably going to be carrying all of our food, water, tools, camping and survival gear. If you can’t make it up a goddamn hill on your own, I’m leaving your ass lol. What possible benefit could you bring to my group in the coming zombie apocalypse, if you can’t even climb up a freaking hill? You are the weakest link! Goodbye! Lol
If someone,intentionally or not, poured ketchup on the counter (especially that amount),they are cleaning it up. This is just entitlement to the max!
It's childish It's wasteful, all for attention and clout
Bro wtf is up with the ketchup. Purposely makes a mess like a toddler and gets upset when their partner dosnt wanna clean it
and they wasted SO MUCH. ketchup runs out so fast bro
Like right?! I feel like all these so-called “Tests” are just a straight up form of desperation.
Feels like icky red flag power play BS
For real, I’d be mad enough that they’re wasting copious amounts of my favorite condiment in this freaking economy, asking me to clean up the mess they clearly intentionally made? Nah. You can get tf out, and buy your own ketchup from now on. We’re done sharing custody lol.
3:34 what immediately came into my mind was
“give them an orange, ask them to peel it and see if they peel all the yucky stringy suff” 😭
Honestly with the ketchup thing (which is so dumb) they could have done something like this, spill a LITTLE BIT of ketchup and then go to your partner like “hey babe I accidentally spilled some ketchup on the counter while making food, could you clean it up please while I finish eating so it doesn’t stain?”
Fr that would make soooo much more sense
Stop trying to make sense of this, relationship tests are stupid self sabotage and anyone doing it is an insecure monster who shouldn't be in relationship, they should be in therapy.
@ oh I agree 100% but if they want to do it to themselves they could at least not waste a bunch of food.
Good. Lies are good.
my boyfriend couldn’t carry me up a hill, hell he can’t carry me at all except for on his back, but we’re celebrating our 5 year anniversary soon and i can get myself up a hill
I should hope my partner wouldn't expect me to carry them up a hill because I have a messed up spine.
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
I feel like most people can’t carry another fully grown human up a hill. That takes a lot of strength. The average Joe can’t do that, that’s a lot of work!
With my Ex I could carry him quite easily but that because he has an illness that makes him thinner and well alot lighter -
Would I carry him up a hill? Maybe if he was injured but like - No not for the fun really
@@suddenlycrowstough luck you rolled an ableist girlfriend what will be your next move?
what does carrying someone up a hill have to do with a healthy relationship… 😭 i’m so tired of this generation
Well, you never know when we might fall back into the 1790s again and your horse ran off and you sprained an ankle. Then you need your man to come wondering around the fields to find you and then carry you home. 😂
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
I have a theory that doesn’t pertain to this trend, but it’s more of general thing, even if it can apply. I think the financial insecurity as well as not having sources, more importantly safe sources, of love, care and affection, acceptance that’s going on (parents not being great or quitting after you’re 18 and then the battle of the sexes on top) is causing both genders to want that monkey brain, safety and security mutually provided that Neanderthals or cave people perhaps needed to survive. It’s just a theory and I never claimed to be a professional of any kind.
At this point they need to only date firefighters or emergency workers and deal with being constantly ignored by them they are too busy to carry them up a hill😂😂
Totally agree. They all need meds.
Damn it's refreshing to hear someone say relationships are not for them so confidently ✨
totally agree!🩷
Same and I am 40 years old Lol 😂
My daughter is 30, and has never been in a relationship because this is the garbage she doesn't want to have to deal with. Every story she tells about her friends' relationships are like this...the partners "testing" each other, playing games with each other, manipulating each other...and they've been like this in all their relationships since their teens.
@@Terri_MacKay I’m 31, and we’re not all like that. I don’t really hang out with anyone my age, anymore. I stick to myself, and my family, mostly. Even as a teen, I always tended to date and hangout with people 4 or 5 years older than me, because everyone my age always seemed so juvenile and childish. The suburbs are particularly bad, I think. Mostly a bunch of entitled kids, who went to college on daddy’s money, or work for their dad’s businesses, or whatever. Your daughter should try to date blue collar guys. We’re too busy working, for all these nonsense tests, and social media crap. I haven’t dated in a while, because everyone in my liberal state just seems so toxic. If it wasn’t for family, I’d move out to a rural area, where at least some people still have morals and values.
I've been saying this for years and people make fun of me for still being single. I am 31 and have never had a serious relationship and I am perfectly content with my solitude and peace.
i TOTALLY agree with what hayley said, especially at the beginning of the video. everyone always says ‘omg i wanna be in a relationship so baddd’ but it never appealed to me and im so happy that someone else shares my sentiments :))
3:01 i choked bc i didn’t expect this 😭😭💀💀
I like them thick too
People who have to test their partner regularly to prove their partner loves them, come off as incredibly insecure for me
Women saying, "I really want an orange right now" in a request form reminds me of my children. If they say they want something, I will naturally help them to get it and peel it. So, basically these women are reverting back to children under 6 years old in order to prove if their significant other loves them enough. Ffs. 😂
Side note: Women worked hard not to be treated like children, so these women are reverting back to that as well without even realizing it. That's disturbing.
yep my thought...
As a guy, why would you disrespect all of the noble women who came before you, their lifelong efforts just to gain equality, and devolve like this? This reminds me of the cringe “sigma male” lifestyle that got super popular a while back.
Not entirely a woman but very neurodivergent and part of the fun of eating an orange is peeling it yourself 😭
Don't forget the ketchup test. Might as well say "Papa, i made a mess. Can yu clean it up?" another example of tiktok women infantilizing themselves after we worked so hard to not be treated as children.
Social Media was our downfall.
I never really care what people do in their relationships is none of my concern, but I can't imagine myself randomly taking pictures of my partner, let alone filming them. Y'know there is this thing called ASKING? It's not hard and it takes 2.5 seconds.
i know right? it would annoy me so much if someone were to film me without asking me
I like to film/photograph my partner without asking, because he gets all cute and flustered about it, but the difference is that we already had a discussion about it and I only do it cause I know he doesn't mind. There's also a difference between recording memories for yourself and your partner, and recording a tiktok of them for internet points.
These hoes are crazy
I love the man at 3:14, somehow I always agree on everything he says in the shorts that come up in my fyp 😅
Who is hr
What I his name or channel?
2:18 If i end a first date with anyone and they say "i wanna do a little test to see if youre the one" i'm just walked away
The best tip for a relationship to be healthy is to trust each other and to communicate with each other, as well as treating each other with respect and dignity.
TikTok is a bad guide to such stuff. A heretic cannot claim to be a holy man, yes?
My farts are better than Haylo's farts
@@p-__
Very specific.
Thank you Shockwave for that killer line at the end
Thing with heretics is they really think they're holy men
The bird test kind of reminded me of this self help book called The Relationship Cure where they did studies on couples to see if they were right that close, happy relationships are based on sharing deep personal stories and information with each other.
What they actually found was that couples that reported deeper happiness were not constantly talking about very deep things with each other, although it would happen. Basically what they were doing that was working comes down to this thing called an emotional bid. An emotional bid is essentially a big or small attempt to engage with your partner. It could be something as simple as wanting to tell them about your day and how they respond to that, or it could be more serious like getting help from when you have an injury, or it could be asking for a hug, basically anything that is an attempt to interact with your partner.
When one partner is attempting an emotional bid, the other partner has a few different choices. They could turn towards that emotional bid which is to respond very positively and enthusiastically with it. They could turn away from that emotional bid which looks more like a non-committal response are very low energy response. Or they can turn against the emotional bid where they get angry or upset or punish you in some way for the attempt.
Couples that reported deeper happiness long-term and day-to-day showed that they were turning towards their partners emotional bids and vice versa more often than not.
An example could be pointing something out that excited you like a bird, or it could be requiring physical help when you actually need it, or it could be "hey look at this meme" or something.
But the issue is that it's not a test with a pass fail that tells you whether or not a partner secretly hates you or actually loves you.
The book basically talks about learning to recognize when your partner is attempting to make an emotional bid and making more of an effort to turn towards their emotional bids to show that they matter and that you care.
These TikTok tests are basically emotional bids in a way, but they are roleplaying it in a disingenuous way. It's tainted. Especially when you see that they're taking the tests so literally and specifically that even when their partner is turning towards this faux emotional bid like offering to cut up an orange for them or offering to get them a fruit cup instead or whatever, that isn't good enough for them.
The thing about learning about emotional bids is that it isn't supposed to be a new way to test your partner. It would be something that you bring up with your partner and discuss and make an effort together to turn towards each other's emotional bids. Because some people just don't realize in the moment that being attentive towards your partners emotional bids is important because they don't even know what that is or that they're doing something that might cause sadness or resentment over time. Seeing how your partner responds to your emotional bids is important, but don't use it as another test to manipulate your partner into performing a certain way. Discuss emotional bids together and create genuine happiness together. Not tests.
If after discussing emotional bids with each other, you find that they are still turning away or against, talk with them! Happy relationships build on each other and you work out how best to show each other you care. If through discussion, you don't that they don't care, they lash out, etc, then that is useful information about your relationship.
Anyway I really enjoyed that book. I found it because of an assignment I had for a sociology class, where we had to pick a self-help book that was written by actual educated experts in the field that it was discussing, and was based on real research. We had a lot of requirements to make sure that we weren't picking just some random celebrity self-help book.
If anyone finds this concept interesting, I would highly recommend reading the book itself rather than just my summary of it.
the “toward, against, away” thing is also used in psychology to describe people’s behavior around other people, which I think is really interesting!
Toward is seeking out attention and validation from people, against is being manipulative, standoffish, and/or starting fights, and away is isolating oneself and being hesitant to let others in
Thank you for this very interesting comment !
I've been married for 5 years (together for 15) and you actually helped me understand better my partner and even myself.
Thanks for this comment. Very insightful and a much more intelligent way of saying what I think my fiancé and I have.
They really wrote a whole book
Very well-written and informative summary! Will definitely consider the read
Some women are coming to a harrowing realization that their male partners are, shocker, actual people and not just servants to them. Yes it’s good to be loving and spoil your so, but it’s not something you can demand lol
@@amityblight9818 it is for some people but I’ve definitely met others who are unfortunately dead serious
@@amityblight9818ya know y'all always say it's a joke until you all try to tie it to real life and actual men...
It's not a joke anymore but you trying to prove a very stupid point
This is the same things that women got on men about for harmless "jokes"
If this simple concept is lost on you then idk what to tell you
A lot of girls say these very harmful things are jokes when they get called out
If you're the only ones laughing then it's not funny
Just watched this and thank you. I'm Gen X and "old". I'm getting up there and okay with it. No reason to fear it. I am so glad my 18 year old told me to check out your videos and so happy you are the one she's watching instead of other influencers who are promoting fake body positivity.
4:23 THIS. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SAD SLIDESHOW, NOT THAT CRINGE ONE. IT WAS A SWEET RELATIONSHIP AND ONE PERSON DIES. THATS THE ORIGINAL ONE, PEOPLE JUST MADE IT CRINGE.
As someone who has been married for almost 8 years, this is some of the most ignorant and childish junk I've heard. No one should be testing their significant other to validate their relationship. If this is real and not just faked for clout, these people are NOT ready for any type of relationship. I can't believe these are adults.
"Adults" 😂😂
I am going to get married in a few months and have exactly the same reaction. This is exactly how NOT to act in a relationship.
These are not adults 😭
@@Laure__Line I wish you both a long and happy life together!
Their is also a test men do on women, if you give her flowers and she nourishes the flowers a bit, she passes, if she sets it aside to let it rot, then that is a red flag.
I'm glad I don't use tiktok or any other social media similar to it.
Other media were fine until they tried to copy tiktoks. Instagram was faulty for causing body issues to young people but that was all about it. Now even TH-cam with it's shorts is a bad influence. These people need to find a hobby or get a job
Tiktok has good stuff, specially the fandom stuff, most outside of it is just trash
What happend to "allowing for relationship to flow naturally" so that maybe or maybe not a simple acquaintanceship might lead to a closer relationship, these people are control-freaks with some major red flags to think these relationship-tests are somehow nessecary! I'm also not in a romantic relationship and never plan to be in one, this world's human-society is already overpopulated and sick in the head about romantic/sexual love as it is and it needs to stop.
1:30 one must imagine Hayley happy
7:07 you are got to be kidding me... I cut and peeled an orange for my girlfriend literally at Sunday at the hotel breakfast cuz she bites her nails so I have to peel anything for her lmao. I cant
The way they "test" their partner to see if they "love them" make me go "Ok but do YOU love THEM?" With these tests they sure don't act like it... These tests are straight-up manipulative and controlling, and girlie, that ain't cute.
The worst part of it all is that I can with 100% confidence say that these women have a double standard, where if their partner did these tests on them, they'd call them an asshole for it...
Right??? It's so gross to look at like why do they have to run laps like a fucking dog
Call them an asshole. Shame them on EVERY outlet they can get their poop-scooping nails on. Hell, some of them seem like the potential crazies that would call authorities over some fake shit just to get back at their SO for not abiding every little thing they ask.
Crazy runs deep.
if someone did a relationship test on me i would immediately break up with them. it's a red flag to me. you're deciding whether i love you or not based on some stupid test someone on tiktok came up with...
True
Being alone does not equal lonely, society needs to figure that out.
Social isolation has noted adverse health effects, such as increased risk for cardiovascular disease, depression and anxiety disorders. The human brain is evolved with a strong need for communal support. This hyper fixation on individualism in modern western society has gotten to the point of straight up delusion. Not only in this way but I’ll stop there.
@@alexharrington8000 true but there are exceptions to every rule and some people do in fact thrive on solitude.
@@toecutterjones he said hyper fixation is bad. Not that it is generally always a bad thing. He also didnt say its bad for everyone.
@@alexharrington8000alone isn’t solitude
It’s so refreshing to see another person in our generation have some common sense, thank you.
9:37 girly, I never felt as cringe in my entire life watching this ketchup test. Because wth, it’s rude, just imagine him doing that, you’d say he’s abusing you. I’d never known these trends even as a Gen-Z especially because I was never allowed to use tiktok (and I never liked the tiktok content either afterwards) but I guess mom made the right decision in not letting me use tiktok 😅.
My boyfriend is shorter than me and I can carry him. These people's minds would explode at that concept.
In their minds he wouldn't be a real man if you're the one who's carrying him. The entire test in general is irrelevant and nonsensical
nah cuz my bf is taller than me and heavier than me and i can also carry him T-T (did you mean it in that way btw?)
@@ilovehamiltonandcatsno she means that her bf is short
@Sitayish ohh ok tysm
@@marklouis1890 That test has its place. You need to be able to medevac your battle buddy even uphill in a timely manner. But sorry, no fraternisation allowed.
Whether or not a man could pass the hill test depends on how heavy his girl is not on survival
And whether or not the dude works out.. some ppl just don't go to the gym, not a crime yk
Also, what's with ppl and using the word "survival"? 😭
We aren't cavemen anymore there's nothing to "survive".
@@cosmichild1 I think he's talking about the hipothetical situation, a sedentary man and a bit overweight could carry his 100lb girlfriend if that's needed for survival. But as you said, that's irrelevant to real life unless you're so adventurous that you are frequently traversing mountains without any equipment and training...
I think the feeling that you need to test your relationship is a good indicator it’s going to fail, regardless of your partners’ response.
Edit: I see you said this same thing at the end.
0:18 ARO/ACE HALEY CANON? 🔥🔥🗣🗣
HELP WHAT
IF SO WE STAN
@mustard.animatesI THOUGHT THAT TOO! ❤
@Random-person-u_dont-know REALLL
YIPEEE OMG
The brutal and honest voice of Aussie logic! I love it!
If someone is this insecure about their relationship then they shouldn't be in one until they learn to trust the person they are supposed to trust the MOST outside of family
They failed the girlfriend test. 😂
🎉😂😂😂😂
That’s for sure 😂😂
real😔
Nah bro, they failed the life test lol 😂
The bird thing is a distortion of a study that showed that couples that responded to each other's bids for attention, such as pointing out a bird, were generally more stable and content relationships. It has nothing to do with looking at a bird one time, it's just responding with interest to your partner.
"I've never been in a relationship before" All I heard was "I was exposed to too much tiktok and my view of relationships are unrealistic, not actually happening and silly"
Don't forget romance novels
Imagine doing the bird test and your man tells you “I’m blind."
"Awh look! There's a speck of dust! 🥺"
"Ok. 😐"
"YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME 😭😭😭😭💔"
"Excuse me-? 💀💀"
The ketchup test is like low-key psychotic... especially since they do it RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!
EXACTLY
With a gitty smile on their face too!
Ngl, that Cody guy looks like the only reasonable person in that relationship, guy must be confused as hell
I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way about relationships
12:02 im used to pointing out small things, so it actually means a lot to me that my partner can keep up with it, like i will literally point out an ant on the floor for no reason. But if they even look and say nothing, or dont look but just call me cute/weird... i really dont care. Or if they accidentally ignore me and i "sulk" and they start messing around with me like idk... just find fun and kind men idk. Why tf are they running lab experiments?
My own family points out animals that gather outside our window sometimes (We live near a forest.) Not exactly every day they do that, so it's usually pretty cool
I know it’s not the focus of the video, but it’s kind of comforting to hear you have similar thoughts as me - not caring to date or anything. Everyone around me always questions me and tries to push me to date and find someone to marry. All my friends are either married/dating or planning their whole life around their nonexistent partner. I’m happy single as I am, doing what I want and enjoying life with my friends and family. I have zero desire for that kind of relationship. Maybe that will change one day, but I for sure don’t need a partner to live a fulfilled life. My married brother cannot understand the concept of “not wanting to have a significant other” He always though every person wants that. He’s been trying to set me up with one of my college friends against my will :/
Sorry for my little sidetracked rant, I needed to get this off my chest :)
Have you tried looking into being aromantic, asexual or aroace?? I myself am aroace and i really relate to what you say.
I feel the same and it's really nice seeing other people being similar to me! :)
@@VideosForYou90 Maybe you fall under the aromantic, asexual or aroace umbrella!! I Am aroace and i felt like there was something wrong with me and then i found out i was aroace and it actually helped me and i dont fell so alone anymore
I couldn’t be with someone who needed to “test” me and I especially couldn’t be with someone who needs validation from social media. I love your voice of reason approach to these topics.
The orange peel test was supposed to find out if your boyfriend annoyed by you asking for a small inconvenience. Instead of course in tiktok fashion the starting using it to judge their boyfriend by annoying them to hell 😭
hayley you're wedding material ! love your content keep it up , have a good day :D
omg thank you so much for speaking on thissss😭I get so annoyed when these ppl film their partner and ask them these dumbass questions like "Would you still love me if I was a worm?🥺" or "If I disappeared and you got remarried, and I was found, would you leave your wife for meeee???🥺🥺🥺" And I'm like girrrrrrrl, at your grown age your asking these stupid ass questions and your ruining your relationship FOR FREE. WHY??
A partner or potential partner playing stupid relationship tests from TikTok is grounds for me to immediately part ways with that person.
Your avatar makes that comment much scarier than if it were the default.
thess tests sound like something people would do in medieval times in order to prove themselves to be worthy of marriage, like lifting a girl sitting in a basket in order to prove that you're physically strong or carving love spoons to show craftsman's skills. cool and stuff but like it's 21 century let's just idk use our brains and communicate with each other and not just dance mating dances??
i need. absolutely need to have a full conversation with haley one on one (or in a group discussion with others) because i cannot verbally describe how real she is to me. most valid opinions ive ever heard
10:47 alright pal are we talking about the refrigerator one with the one that actually says please, no, that man is not childish, she INTENTIONALLY SPILLED THE KETCHUP THERE. I'M PRETTY SURE HE'D ACTUALLY HELP IF IT WAS ACTUALLY AN ACCIDENT, BUT NOOO. THIS VICTIM BLAMING ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL
My dad would always peel oranges for me, my sister and my mom. It was a little thing we did every other night, we’d all be downstairs before bed and eat oranges
And now gentlemen, a "test" for these TikTok women:
"4 hours without your smartphone and social media in any way, shape or form"
a "test" for tiktok women, ask your woman for a sandwich. just re-engineer the orange peel theory but about sandwiches. they'll lose their shit
@@ippanpedrozo1162 that isn’t the same thing lol. Men are always coddled and pampered while women are EXPECTED to do all housework. If a man can’t take care of himself but expects others to do it for him its a clear sign of a failed male. Women testing their male partners is different when you read actual statistics based on how men are 5x more likely to leave their sick/dying wives too. Women when dating or married to men are statistically seen to end up with shorter lifespans, higher chances of depression, and are more likely to die by their male partners hands than any other relative. So it makes sense to test their partners especially when society is quick to blame women for “choosing wrong!!” In the first place
I am Gen-Z and I always say this, again and again: Nothing good comes from Tiktok, and here we have proof of that once more.
I have like, a handful of amazing things that have come from tiktok, but it's a drop in comparison to the ocean of negative, awful garbage tikrok spreads.
Tiktok should been ban long ago. The amount of dead beat content is insane. Yeah no wonder the current and new gen is gonna be lonely forever. Amount of BS is just wow... so glad im single.
Absolutely obsessed with your videos
Never in a million years would I think it was a good idea to deliberately make a mess and ask my beloved partner to clean it up. That's like bullying/controlling behavior.
Frrr like you failed the challenge of being a good partner 😭
Gen z always talks about red flags when they are the red flag
As a member of gen z (regrettably), I've grown disgusted with so-called "dating" and, therefore, have stopped. Dating is no longer dating. It's just hooking up and it's a complete waste of time. Plus, most relationships (from what I've seen) are incredibly fake now.
Heck, I have come to hate Valentines Day more than I ever have because of what it's come to represent.
As a millennial, I can honestly say that it's not just a generational thing. It's a late teens to mid 20s thing. As you approach your pate 20s and into your 30s, people tend to chill.
I’m also from Gen Z, and I’m quite afraid that it will be hard to find love at this rate. It would be very, very hard to find someone who is at least a bit selfless.
As a member of a gen z I feel like the hill trend is just werid
same, i just find people our age so dishonest and oddly entitled and also theres this lack of commitment like people especially zoomer women expect things to be perfect, life is a struggle unfortunately sometimes the man needs help too but when it happens they bail out its really depressing
I hate seeing people happy together. It makes me feel so depressed and lonely. But at the same time I can’t mentally deal with love.. then again I want it so badly.”
Real
If people do this they don't need a relationship at all and it will keep them single or bring terrible people together
Hayley, out of all the videos I have binged, this was very, EXTREMELY difficult to watch. The second hand embarrasment of those videos was too much to handle for me girl...
12:19 Lmao I tried the "bird test" on my friend. Texted him "Ayo, just saw a birdie :)" and he said "Nice :D" ... we both love birds :3
Thats a good way of doing it over text
This is the stupidest shit ever.
🤦♀️
I despise eating corn on the cob so my husband takes it off the cob for me.
😅
I should start a corn on the cob theory 🙄
do it! you could earn some pocket change from your 15 minutes of TikTok fame!
jokes aside though that is really sweet of him
Just buy canned corn
That tastes worse
i wanna point out that the hill test is also ableist because some people are physically incapable of carrying another person. The ketchup test makes me so mad. That's a red flag to me, if you're going to willingly make a mess and then expect someone else to clean it up? gtfo. my ex was like that and he believed that me expecting him to clean up his own messes was "toxic and juvenile"
yeah that had me thinking lol…my dad has joint problems, multiple chronic illnesses, and autoimmune diseases so i don’t think he would want to carry my mom up a hill lol. For what it’s worth my mom once demonstrated to me and my astonished siblings that she could in fact carry my dad on her back. Mom strength is something else.
Tick tock is a red flag for me
Even aside from that, I think it’s truly hilarious to think that most people could answer that question with: “I may not be able to CARRY you up, but I’m pretty sure I could DRAG you up.”
Stuff like this makes me glad I'm in a healthy relationship
the boyfriend walking in the room to dance with her but casually checking behind him first to see if she was recording tells me that he regularly has to check if she’s recording their intimate moments.
the ketchup one is a whole new level of crazy seriously
That hill thing wouldn't work for me cos I'm all in for short kings and I'M the one who CARRIES HIM
OH MY GOD. Lately, I was feeling like shit and was this grumpy, horrible kind of me and my man came and said to me, that he feels unappreciated because I wasn't saying "thank you" after he did something for me. AND I FELT IT IN MY BONES. I FELT ASHAMED. I immediately apologized and now I always make sure to thank him, and be nice and appreciative cause he deserves that as a human being! My mood doesn't change that!
How can you not use "please" when you want something? How can you not realize it's unkind and not want to change your behaviour? WHAT IS GOING ON
I like the hill test idea. I’m six feet tall and 225 lbs, and in good shape. The absolute most I could carry up a decent sized hill is 130 lbs…
I absolutely love your T-shirt! Now I want to have a Daria Marathon!
When I was pregnant I saw a Raffaelo ad on tv (it's something I love and I had been pushing not buying it for a while) and I commented something like "ahhh" to it or wtv.
My husband got up and I thought he went to the bathroom but he got dressed and went outside telling me that he would come right back and didn't tell me were he was going.
I was left confused because that was not like him at all.
Circa 20 minutes later he came home with an entire package of Raffaelos just for me and told me that he didn't tell me were he was going because I would've tried to convince him not to go.
So, while I'd say that my husband is pretty great overall, if I behaved like those women he probably wouldn't do what I would ask of him either. Specially the ketchup one. It's so entitled and meanspirited. Doing that to the person you supposedly love seems pretty childish and immature.
If my husband did it to me I wouldn't like it either.
Relationships are a two way street. Everyone wants to be respected and loved but I don't see the respect or love towards the men in these videos.
i love my bf so much. when we first started dating i complained about my cramps hurting and this man popped up with "if i buy u berries will it make u feel better" the only inclination he had to me liking berries was ordering berry pancakes once. another time we were cooking together. i was in the middle of making dessert and said "this would taste good with icecream", he disappeared for 5 mins, came back dressed up and asked which flavour he should get from the store. then at the store rang me and kept naming all the flavours.
me and my bf discussed these once and we both agreed only ppl in unhappy relationships have to do this to prove they're loved, and we both agreed its kinda insane to do that to ur partner.
Well , the only times my husband would do a complete useless trip to get me something I am craving is when I am on bed really sick and hadn’t eaten anything and that particular thing is the only thing that sounds appealing to me …sometimes he even help me sit up and help me eat, before handling me my meds / something to drink, might not be the most romantic thing ever , but he’s really helpful whenever he does that, illnesses, surgeries, etc , I always make sure to say “ thank you “ , and most importantly, he knows I have and will do the same for him. Not romantic, just , real love and care . ❤
as someone's whos been in a high school relationship for 2+ years, it is ASTONISHING how bad people my age are at finding love because THEY DO IT TO THEMSELVES. true love is really amazing and im blessed to have found someone who has the same values as me for dating, bc ppl out here are CRAZY
As a Gen Z I apologize on behalf of my species.
For me "bird test" is a real thing, my boyfriend is always excited about birds, at the beginning it was a bit unusual for me, but now it's a little cute thing he has, and I'm all in to support him in this, and react like it's the best thing I've ever seen in my life every time when he see a beautiful bird😂❤
The orange peel theory is based off of the bird theory (which actually does have psychological backing to it) isn't a pass/fail application. Instead, it's meant to see if the couple expresses toxic behavior in the form of predator/prey behaviour, which both can show it.
The bird test is the only test I will say should carry some weight
@@TamTam9-15 Agreed! But it's all in the thought, not simply just if they pass or fail. Relationships, not just romantic ones, are NOT that black and white. What has come to be our generation today? 💀
Oh, I agree. The person doing the test is obviously the predator. If the one being tested remains with the tester, he becomes the prey and will agonize till eaten.