My son drowned and I pulled his grey, lifeless body out of the water. My neighbor was with me and did CPR and thank God he is fine now. My friends keep telling me I may have Ptsd but I guess I feel like I should be fine because he is fine. So everything should be fine. After all, he didn't die so I should be grateful. And I am, so grateful. But I keep seeing him and remembering the vacant eyes and blue lips and grey skin. For reference he is 4 yrs old. I check him when he's sleeping to make sure he's breathing.
Every single checkbox on your list, but don't have $150 per session to do anything about it... youtube is all there is until I can find something I can actually afford. And that is the biggest barrier to care.. money
EMDR helped me.. you can find videos of it on YT. I could never afford therapy either. I was kidnapped, tortured and shot twice. EMDR helped.. Not a cure.. but helps.
Google healing from PTSD... there may be some treatments for you on there with no charge without seeing a therapist. You can do this on your own I promise you. I suffer with Schizophrenia PTSD bipolar and others. I have jump in with my exteemes cases and have some very well. Dimt get me wrong my stpytoms are the worst! But it helps while your in them. You can do this I know. Also why not type in free therapy on you tube
@@anniesshenanigans3815same things happened to me. Not shot but because of the ex who abused me so extreme that I am now disabled for life many guns have been pulled in me. The scary part is also that my abuser is free and has never been charged with anything and I am disabled. We need we know when they may show up at anytime. Be careful if your in the same sort of situation I am in. The police don't do anything if you don't have proof. I was mind fucked by my ex. He said so himself, YOU CANT OROVE A FUCKING THING! HES RIGHT! But , I can prove I'm disabled and why. My memory is really not always that good because of the trauma.
I find a game of Tetris really helps me calm down after I have been triggered. There have been studies showing a game of Tetris soon after being triggered can reduce the severity/how often you get “triggered”. I would love to see a video of your thoughts on Tetris and PTSD. Of all the different versions of Tetris out there Tetris Effect, available for PS4/Xbox/PC is my favorite. Side note: I hate how casually “triggered” is dropped in main stream culture.
I have CPTSD and have all the above symptoms. Trouble connecting. Trouble working. Trouble making goals and keeping commitments with myself. Trouble driving and using other machinery. Massive anxiety. Loss of ability to study, read and focus. Easily startled. Very vulnerable in family situations. This has all come to a head due to Covid.
I would like to thank you for making these kind of video's and explaining what PTSD is. I have been struggling with a lot of these symptoms and even after some therapy I didn't understand what was happening to me. I thought I knew what PTSD was and that I did not have any of it, but after this video I know so much more. There are things that make sense now and I feel the strenght again to get help qnd not fight it alone. Thank you.
I suffer complex ptsd and alot of the time I think what is wrong with me - why do I feel so misunderstood. I even struggle to really let my guard down even around my counsellor. Hypervigilant (sorry bad spelling) I'm always looking out for danger and unable to fully relax. I avoid close relationships and rarely open up. Fearing danger at any second. Ready to run. I'm always in a flight or fight response. It's exhausting. And I hate feeling like this. Been feeling this way for years. I can't get a job because I fear judgement. It's really hard...
This video was amazing at describing what my day to day is like. The hypervigilance is the most exhausting for me because it's an every day event. The flashbacks happen periodically and I have good coping mechanism so they don't knock me down. But the hypervigilance I can't stop.
I did that! I tried to take a left-hand turn into a full parking lot and started crying in traffic. A member of my group ran through through several lanes of traffic to come talk me through it. I never even realized that this could have been related to a car accident I had been in earlier that year.
Sorry to hear you had the car accident. They can cause ptsd, and triggers like the one you experienced. If you ever wish to talk about it, you can book a free 15 minute call on this link: www.go.oncehub.com/jonathandecker This is something you can work through and it would be really nice for you to not have to have stress around it anymore.
I’m a Veteran. It took me years to figure out how messed up I was. It took an old Army buddy of mine who pointed it out to me. I always wondered why my life was the train wreck it was. PTSD is real, and it’s a monster that has stolen the lives of people who did nothing wrong. Get help, but I must say that some of the best therapists never set foot in any university. Mine was a boss in my first job out of the military. He was a Veteran as well and instinctively knew that what I needed was peace, tranquility and quiet. He gave me that. I’m much better now and I had a chance to thank him for my “therapy”, he went through it himself, and just saw a little of himself in me I guess.
I have had PTSD since 1997 when I was kidnapped, tortured and shot twice. Nightmares have outlasted any of the other symptoms. and I still have an exaggerated response to loud sudden noises, so I avoid fireworks if possible. Most people do not have to find validation for it, they already know.
I would love to see a video specifically on sexual assault trauma. It's something so many people deal with, and it's uncomfortable to talk about, but I think it's a very important conversation to have. Maybe give points on what men can do when it comes to holding your friends accountable for the way they treat women and confronting red flags. I just started EMDR and learned a few methods on how to confront triggers and respond and I would love your input on the subject. I adore your channels and it's helped aid my mental health journey (alongside therapy of course) while giving me small doses of insight that I can apply to my life. Keep up the amazing work ❤️
Thank you so much for this video and especially the breakdown of all the things that make PTSD a viable diagnosis. I keep saying that maybe I don't have PTSD anymore or it isn't that bad because I don't have all the symptoms (especially the most commonly associated ones) but as you went through them I realise how much of an issue this is still creating in my life. Thank you for also taking about aspects of PTSD that are difficult to avoid and that are part of your day to day life. This is a major thorn in my side and avoidance can just make things worse. While you know you need to do something, you are terrified to do it because you are choosing to trigger yourselves over and over again. Part of my trauma is financial trauma and that makes managing my tax etc almost impossible to do. In addition, I have always been a creative thinker and writer but since having PTSD I haven't been able (until recently) to let my mind wander creatively because I am scared of where it will take me. I can feel myself slowly getting better but it is such a rollercoaster that a lot of the time it doesn't look like that. Please keep up the amazing videos both here and on on your Cinema Therapy channel.
Also, would you be able to do a video on the psychology of trauma anniversaries? I always struggle around that time of year and get so confused by the different degrees of emotion both overwhelming and sometimes numbness/lack of emotional reaction.
Thank you so much for this. I've been considering looking into getting a diagnosis for PTSD, and when this thumbnail came up, literally pointing at me, I stopped scrolling. It was still really hard to press play. "I'm not that bad," I told myself. "I know people who really have PTSD, they have it much worse than me. And besides, I already know a lot about PTSD, I've researched it to help my friends, what else could there be to know..." I scrolled down ... then back up. And agonised. And pressed play. And every single sentence hit home. I'm going to send this video to my regular psychologist and we're going to talk about it in our next session. Thank you. For being there to say exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I also want to compliment you on how good you've gotten at talking to the camera - since I found this channel last month I've watched through most of the videos you have up, and it's very clear how much more comfortable you've gotten on camera. You sound so genuine, and compassionate, and non-judgemental, and patient in this video. Beautifully done.
Sadly, many people are getting therapy when they don't need it too. Then it makes people who really need it marginalized. Gen Z...."EVERYONE NEEDS THERAPY!".
I was hoping someone on here could shed some light.. So, I didn't have any childhood trauma. But, about 20 and 25 years ago, I met two seperate guys 5 years apart. The first one started out good. He told me he loved me. fast forward about a month or so. He started comparing me to other women. "why can't you look like this?" He would catcall other women in front of me even though he knew I suffered from extreme self image issues and jealousy. One day I woke up and I really hated myself my body etc so I called the police telling them I didn't feel safe with myself and that I wanted to not be alive anymore. I told my boyfriend I was going somewhere to get help, and he said "I can't go with you, i'm not riding in an ambulance or a police car" All the while right in front of me looking at dirty sites. That was pretty traumatic on me, it didn't help my self image and self esteem any at all. About 4 1/2 years later, I met someone else online. We clicked awesome. we had the same taste in music, same outlook on certain subjects, and he made me feel listened to, loved. We got married about a half year later. A little while after that, I discovered I was pregnant. We were happy at the time. After I had my son, I went from 100 lbs to about 140. In less than a year, he was telling me that I need to lose weight. I need to stop eating. I need to take diet pills. He then dropped something on me. He told me I had to lose weight or he would divorce me. I told him I would. The exact opposite happened. I thought since two men in a row told me I wasn't good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, maybe they're right. So I gained another 30 lbs. We got divorced and I started feeling better. But after all that and still to this day, every time I get called fat, by a stranger or anyone, I automatically go into a trance where I cry hard, I get intrusive and bad self hatred thoughts. It used to also get so bad that self harm would take place. I have learned to not hurt myself. The words my exes said go through my head every time. You're too fat. You're not pretty enough, etc." I then go to one extreme or another. I will eat very little or I will over eat. Anyway, I probably should talk to my doctor about this but I am afraid if I ask if I have PTSD they will dismiss me. Insights anyone? Thank you for reading this if you did.
On guard: I always have some kind of weapon. I can sit in a restaurant with my back to the door, but I dislike it. I react violently when something comes close to my face suddenly.
My therapist and I agree that I have PTSD, but I have yet to narrow down a specific cause or trigger. I kinda associate it with my childhood in general, which there was no abuse or anything major like that but there was a certain level of strictness within my household. Being an only child I became very reclusive. My mother was strict so I never talked back to her. I remember watching Dr. Phil one afternoon where as punishment a mother took everything out of their child's room but the mattress and bedclothes and my mother agreeing that it was a justifiable punishment. I also never had a lock on my door. I think due to this, church, school, and social standards, I fell into the roll of the 'good' person. The one who was nice to everyone. The one that never got angry. The one who never caused conflict. If conflict happened around me, it was my fault for not preventing it. I couldn't be sad because I was relatively privileged (middle income family) and I couldn't complain because there were starving kids in Africa and I should be grateful. I've dealt with a lot of baggage, yet I still find myself growing numb to people around me. Maybe it's fear of becoming attached and then getting abandoned. I'm fine with making acquaintances but wrestle with opening up to people I don't fully trust. My bonds are either strong or near non-existent. I wish to connect again but I'm so afraid to. The last person I let myself get unintentionally attached to got an injury which he had to leave our mutual workplace. We had no way of communicating with each other and after he left my workplace became more and more of a hell. I would hope that he would come back but tell myself I should be happy that he didn't have to go through that struggle anymore. He struggled with addiction but still keeps going, so he still inspires me, but I feel like I may be a burden to him. I even struggle now with my fear and self criticism, trying to live life to the fullest but calling myself a hypocrite due to this paralyzing fear. The fear of not being enough and being left behind again
Life can definitely be hard at times, and it sounds like you have a lot going on. Would you like to talk with me about it, because I may be able to help you to heal and grow through some of these things that you are talking about. If you do wish to talk, you can book a free 15 minute call using this link: www.go.oncehub.com/jonathandecker
Be kind to yourself. You can not change your childhood but at least we can change today. Do not give up to break the cycle and be better to yourself. I send you tons of hugs.
I have PTSD. An anxiety panic attacks and I want to Thank you so much for helping me to accept what am I struggling with. Big stone fell off my body right now after a long time.
I'm 41 and still can't fall asleep without the predator from when I was 14 crossing my mind... I was also in a 5 year abusive relationship that almost 10 years later I'm still working through that abuse. Thank you for posting this. People need to be aware that it's not just combat in war that can cause PTSD. Hyper awareness? Yep, always!
I have PTSD as a result of a sexual assault where my attacker, my boyfriend at the time, nearly killed me. I have lived with the memories, the flashbacks, nightmares. I have lived cowering whenever someone i care about raises their voice or their hand to me. when my father or my husband would get mad i would shy away want to disappear just so i cant be targeted by their anger. it took YEARS to be able to trust enough to allow someone to touch me and even longer to be able to talk about what had happened without being right back there being victimized again. when I go places I can not sleep closest to the door, I don't feel safe and thus i cant sleep. when at home alone I keep my firearm close, check the doors and windows multiple times, I keep my dog at my side since her hearing and smell are much better then mine, she will know if someone enters the house. Your video brought up a lot of it in my head, not reliving anything but it struck a nerve and things i didn't realize were so closely tied to my PTSD now have an explanation. Thank you... so very much thank you.
Amazing! This is what I was looking for. I certainly have those symptoms every day. Especially during the night. Everyone who knows me, knows also not to touch me when I'm in deep sleep. Because not only I am with PTSD, I am also a martial artist for 2.5 decades, and it could be very dangerous. Because when someone awake me in a touch, I don't recognize who is touching me, for about 30 seconds, I see an enemy, and my brain sees the touch as an attack, as a threat. If anyone wants to wake me up, he/she should talk to me from a probable distance. When I wake up I answer-What? In a panic, even if spoken to in a soft voice. And I always say, to whoever waking me up, usually my mother-The fact that I answer in panic, and I'm jumpy, it has nothing to do with you. It's just my personal trauma, my personal pain. And she don't understand, it surprises her every time. So after I'm reconnected with reality, I give the okay to come near me. 30 seconds it's enough to deliver one or more devastating blows on anyone, and mine are such in even half my power. And it has some other affects on my life, I'm having trouble to give trust in people because of that.
After my dad passed away, my mom fell into an abusive relationship. This man tormented us for 8 long years, since I was about 10. He is no longer with us, thankfully. He is in prison for life. Anyways, for a while after he was taken away, I showed a lot of these symptoms. I was always jumpy and scared. I had reoccurring nightmares, loud bangs, loud voices, cursing, and shuffling would send me back to that place. Now, I think I've gotten over it. But I do this thing where I panic when I call a family member/loved one, and they don't answer. And I talk to myself and tell myself that they're okay. And I have this constant battle going on in my head, where I'm panicking and not panicking. Until I get a text or a call confirming what I already knew, that they're okay. So, in conclusion, I don't think I've gotten over it, and I really think I need therapy 😅
very well made video. I have cPTSD and have/have had most of these symptoms at one point. Luckily I've been doing very better, but still triggers/nightmares can still happen
I was told I had PTSD several years ago, and I questioned if that was true or not because I've been through a lot over a long period of time but nothing like a war veteran where my life was in danger every day. But I have every one of these 4 symptoms. I was on antidepressants and anxiety medication but I stopped talking them a while back because of money issues. I also never really found help for it again because of money issues.
Every time CPTSD is described, I go: "Ah....". And living with your trigger, that way of wording it really had quite an impact. You know, one of the things I notice we don't do right in how we build society, is on the large assumption that people are mostly healthy and the majority is fine. I don't know about having met even a single person like that. 😶 Not a single person! The norm is people being in quite a mess and at least half of our time having to go towards mending. Because healing as an individual doesn't last us long the moment we move outside of our safe space. Which makes healing as a group - on top if the individual healing - so very valuable. I do see many efforts, though. And that is always something that gives me hope. That we talk about many things to large audience, is a good sign. :3 Thank you for your work
"You know, one of the things I notice we don't do right in how we build society, is on the large assumption that people are mostly healthy and the majority is fine" - OMG YES!!! That is exactly how I feel. People say that this and that is being over diagnosed and I'm here thinking "no, it just means that this issue is a larger part of the world than society thinks or acknowledges"
The problem with most "Therapists" or "Psychiatrist" is that they think the automatic response to a PTSD "trigger" is fear. As a USMC veteran with violent PTSD, I can tell you that it is a very wrong and potentially deadly assumption to make. My reaction to my "Triggers" is immediate violence because the "Fight" of fight or flight is what kicks in. You need to be very careful applying a broad brush to "everyone" who has PTSD. The rest of the "symptoms" aren't too far off, but they are still off.
Excellent video! Very insightful. I recently was told I may have CPTSD from the years of neglect I endured as a child. I identified with a lot of what you mentioned in this video, thank you so much for this!
I didn't full understanding PTSD until 2 years ago. I had experienced trauma that continued over a period of time. And everything in your video is so accurate to how I felt and acted. I have now started working with a therapist and hope to find some healing. Thank you for your informative videos.
I was confused.... I got totally drawn into your talk, which I felt was directly aimed at me. It was like you had my medical chart. I also suffer from BPD and I say suffer because it makes me feel like a alien in this world and I suffer as a result, everyday with every interaction I have with humans. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I love to learn about human behaviour and illness.
I was in a car accident (as a passenger) in 2002, maybe 2003. (When did Ghost Ship come out in theaters? Because a friend was driving the two of us to go see it when the accident happened.) Anyway, she hit someone who was waiting to make a left turn, we spun around, and the air bag went off. Just before it happened, I saw where the car was stopped, waiting to turn, and wondered if she was far enough over to not hit it. She got a bloody nose, but that was the only injury either of us got. But since then, I can't stand being a passenger when someone else is driving. I absolutely freak out, especially if it feels like we're too close to the car in front of us. (It was HORRIBLE for me when I visited my ex in Michigan and his father picked me up from the airport. Not only was I in the passenger seat, but he was barrelling down the highway at about seventy, practically on top of the car in front of us.) But it didn't even occur to me that this could be PTSD until several months ago. It doesn't majorly affect my life, I just make sure to be the one driving if I'm going somewhere. But I do miss being able to be a relaxed passenger and enjoy the sights around me. Instead, if I have to drive with someone else behind the wheel, I'm constantly watching in front of us, worrying about other vehicles.
I remember walking into the grocery store and there was a man in the deli section to my right. My partner was blocking my view but I kept trying to see this man and my heart was just racing, I was so scared that it was my kids dad. Even though I lived 6 hours away in a completely different town. It wasn't him but the reflexivity of it was hard.
Of all things I've experienced that could have left permanent impact, its actually childbirth that has left me with PTSD. Specifically c section or operation rooms as me experience was an emergency situation. I'm sent into flashbacks and syncope episodes if I'm triggered.
It's quite common for childbirth to cause PTSD and to be traumatic in all sorts of ways especially when things like a C-Section have to be involved. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that.
Well, based on this video, it looks like the Army did not give me PTSD. Lots of anger issues, a complete distrust/disgust with virtually any authority figure and an Asperger's diagnosis back in 2011, but no PTSD. That's a relief. 😜
Thank you so much for this video! I’m getting tested for PTSD tomorrow cause my mother in law emotionally abused me and even almost beat me when my husband and I lived with her. Now I know what to expect tomorrow. I’m really more convinced I have it after watching your video
Started crying when you listed the four symptoms. I have been experiencing all of them for several years. There is actually a possibility to get better? Will be making a phone call to get on the wait list for our local free mental health center. And thank you for making these videos and for mentioning this video in your CinemaTherapy Katniss Everdeen video.
Were there different points? I made it to 4mins realised I wasn’t listening, I don’t know if I even got through the first section, came to comments, read a couple, completely zoned out for, I’m not sure how long and now I’m commenting. Strangely yours was the one open when I zoned back in.
My God this happens to me since my car accident. I can't sleep at night. I have been withdrawing from the world as much as possible. Thunder and Lightning reminds me of the sound of the impact of my accident. I felt my soul left my body and the pain was horrible. But the loud noise from thunder and/or lighting brings me back to that moment. I dream my accident as if it was yesterday and it was more than two years ago. I want my life back the way it was before this accident. I have EXTREME anxiety to where it is affecting my work. My daily life is a struggle both mentally and physically. I know I have to drive so I vomit almost everyday before I leave my house. I HATE driving. I am absolutely terrified of driving.
As diagnosed ptsd I get it from my mother's suicide attempt when I was 15.I have nightmares,flashback and avoidance tendency have strange fear of scissors due to my mother.
I've been to therapy in the past, and i solved many f my problems (anxiety, tendency to obsession, panic attacks, an almost ED) or at least I've been given the tools to deal with them; overall, i was and still am really healthy and functional. Despite that, last year i went through a really difficult moment with my family, tried to search for help with my psychologist and also an organization that should prevent abuse from parents to children or something, but my pain was minimized and belittled. I thought that i was alone, and that i couldn't stand living like that anymore. I attempted suicide, failing, and the backlash was even worse. I lost my connection with my family and a member of it whom i didnt even have problems with beforehand, went to a therapy session with my family and my psychologist didnt defend me against my family till they weren't with us and i did a private session; the feeling of betrayal, after one year, still lives vividly with me, and the only option that i had to survive was through avoidance. I let myself be at my lowest for one (1) month, and then went on with my life as if nothing had happened - joking about it, talking lightly of it, while having nightmares and an extremely hard time taking showers because it triggered me. It still does, even with minor ripercussions. I dont even know why im talking about this, but i just wanted to say that i fear i my suffer from ptsd and i dont have the tools to go again to therapy, to the same psychologist that "betrayed" me and explain to my parents that i need to start therapy again because all of that happened one year ago still has impact over me. I suffer from major memory loss, by both long and short term (dont know if it has to do with it or not tbh), headaches, sometimes i have trouble sleeping and relaxing. I stopped doing many things i loved because i didnt have the energy to put up with them, which i dedicated to surviving. I don't think that im in a bad place in life, I've had worst - ome year ago i was really at my lowest point in life, it was one of the darkest periods and i am partially grateful for not remembering about it - but i know that i could be better and i SHOULD be better. Thank you for sharing all these informations with us.
I went to couples therapy with my husband few years ago and pretty soon my childhood trauma came up so our therapist asked me to do some sessions with me only to talk about it before we carried on. Every time those sessions were over I felt angry and just in a bad place for 2/3 days straight. I don't think it helped me much but don't know why. I only know that that experience put me off going back to therapy to talk about it. Couples therapy worked though
The bad combo I had: traumatic amnesia, ptsd and complex ptsd. I remembered some of the traumatic events more than 10 years after, a major one actually 20 years after. Hard to work on something when you don't even know it has happened.
Startreck deals with PTSD in a lot of episodes. I specifically recall one from season four of DS9 where Miles O'Brien experiences severe ptsd from an intense incarceration.
physical and mental abuse as a child, dad disappeared, shot at the first time at 9yo, watched my mom beat and almost executed almost daily, was homeless, kidnapped, "friend' committed a murder then hunted me, defended family from abusive step dad and went to prison, fought to eat, got stabbed in the chest, got shot at some more, friend points gun in my face then shoots his gf in the head, wife cheated and left, lost child for 15 years, buried sibling, buried 3 best friends in a year(and theres a fuck ton more). I have every symptom to an extreme, do I have ptsd?
One of the things that I experience is that I’m super jumpy. It used to be so bad that I could see someone walking toward me and they could still make me jump by talking to me. My friends used to laugh because they found it funny. The worst part is that my dad thinks that I fake it because my reaction is delayed slightly because my body is weird like that.
I had the exact same reaction over and over for so many years. I feel like it's mostly gone now but that's exactly what it's like and it confused myself that I literally saw them coming and still jumped anyway when they spoke or maybe i heard the footsteps but jumped when I saw them, either way one thing didn't mean the rest of me had caught up enough to not be startled. I was super hypervigiliant from my CPTSD from being abused as a kid by my mom. Luckily no one accused me of faking it... And no one laughed at me. I kinda was embarrassed and laughed at myself though as a confused coping mechanism. I was accused of faking my crying though by my abusive mom when I started to cry when she hadn't even yelled yet she just started to get a little angry and like a Pavlov's Dogs type response I'd immediately burst into full on tears at some point before the rage even escalated to that point where it would be warranted to be that hysterically crying. And i would be very offended when she'd say they were "crocodile tears" and i knew they weren't but at the same time I was confused by my own body's reaction to be crying before my emotions had even caught up to feeling like level of crying was warranted
Is it possible to heal from PTSD? I was diagnosed about 5 years ago & still struggle with triggers. I’ve been to counseling, meds, etc. Would love to know your thoughts on someone having a healthy future who has really struggled. It is hard to be hopeful when it just haunts you everyday. Thanks so much for your channel!
Oh! Oh I have a question this time. Can you please explain Anxiety attacks please? I notice that I kind of know what it may look like? But then I notice that I'm imagining "loud" panic attacks with someone curling up and rocking and covering their ears? But are there..... quiet and externally not very visible forms? What's to know about that topic and what are good known ways to offer support when someone has an anxiety attack? Especially, how to support when someone at the other side of the world says in chat they are slipping into one and seek help? Anything helpful I can recommend them to do for themselves or say to themselves? I think I read about taking an ice cube in your mouth? Could you talk about it all?
Wow, I have or have had the majority of these. It is really hard to get help when therapy in the area is not common and so expensive and insurance doesn’t cover it. I’ve wanted therapy for years, but I’ve never been able to afford it. I once talked to my GP about anxiety and my insurance didn’t cover that appointment because anxiety was mentioned. Now I can’t even let my doctors know my medical history for fear that insurance won’t cover it.
Talking about my abusive mother triggers me. If a conversation keeps going about mama, i immediately go on the roller coaster and cannot get off til it stops.
I believe that my sisters and I have PTSD, we haven't been diagnosed, however just from hearing about their nightmares along with other behaviors I feel like we have it. I know we all have depression.
Thank you so, so much for this video, Jonathan ❤ you deliver your explanations/anything really with such care and obvious compassion. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you do!! You are such a natural therapist.
I am currently having my "first" PTSD trigger and it's lasted a few months now. I'm having panic attacks almost every week, I can hardly eat, I'm so, so anxious. And it's centered around my partner's drinking. He doesn't necessarily abuse alcohol, and I never had an issue with it before. but because of my childhood filled with neglectful drug and alcohol addicted parents, I'm apparently having PTSD triggers associated with my partner's drinking. We are both really struggling right now, since this has been affecting our relationship. I am in therapy, but I'm afraid that this is going to last forever.
It's totally understandable that drinking would have a negative correlation in your brain and trigger a trauma response. Hoping for your continued healing, both individually and in your relationship! - Jonathan
My ex husband had sex addiction (diagnosed). When I discovered that, something that shifted my world around, I had a lot of these symptoms. I remember going to a birthday party that was close to a place that had sex workers, and going to the bathroom immediately after entering the place with a severe panic attack. This became recurring. I also had a lot of nightmares, the kind that makes you wake up screaming. I would hide these from my therapist sometimes because I felt so ashamed of the reason I felt that. Much later on I discovered that sex addict's partners can develop symptoms of PTSD. I was never diagnosed, and frankly I don't think it was my case (it disappeared while I was treating depression), but it's interesting to learn that PTSD doesn't occur only after violent events.
PTSD discussions are seemingly everywhere now, on the internet or in pop culture analysis now, since about a half year or so. Not to mention all the 21st century superheroes that are in therapy now in movies/tv. I might be imagining this. Maybe there was some new studies or books that popularized these discussions? The increased interest in it could also be an effect of everyone on the planet experiencing the shocking disruptions of a pandemic now, which in turn might have highlighted some of the up to then more easily compartmentalized personal stuff people had going, or even some other planetary stuff like climate crisis, ongoing social revolutions, civilization seeming about to collapse, etc. Or not. Anyway thanks for the clear overview.
Hard to know what to make of it all. It's like it's almost fashionable to have it, and some people wear it like a badge of honour, and never let go of it. Me personally it was cause of a lot of shame for decades and I kept it hidden, even now I wouldn't tell work colleague, acquaintances etc. Nowadays I'm fine, however without going into the details, my assailant was sentenced to 7 years in prison - it was almost deadly. And I had to face them in court. I see people commenting on general life problems that seem to be giving them PTSD, maybe it's a symptom of being unable to cope with life and how ordinary/even dreadful other people can be. Bad relationships/bad workplace relationships, subject of strict parenting, people being wrapped up in themselves and their own problems etc. Is everyone becoming more sensitive? I don't know. I see people commenting about being the victim of sexual assault (yes - PTSD) and then someone else saying they had no friends at school so they have PTSD?
@@marknorris1381 It's more and more recognized that trauma is extremely common, and that trauma often has lasting negative consequences. And PTSD is nowadays more or less understood as a spectrum, so there's different types and different severities. The younger generations are much more open about psychological.issues I think there's a bit of a tendency to wrongfully classify any lingering issues that are due to trauma, as PTSD, just like there is an issue with people calling any lingering bad mood depression. I don't believe it's some sort of fad to hav mental afflictions.
I have horrible PTSD. I cannot accept the consequences of all that has happened. Im always in stress, im reliving the moment, and all the coulda shouda wouldas that would have prevented this Trauma. ... im unable to go outside the apt. The anxiety , rhe insomnia and the depression. ... its so horrible to suffer day and night.
This seems like a very different approach to what counts as PTSD than the diagnostic criteria and it means I do count as having it. It took me forever to realize i was getting triggered at times and having emotional flashbacks and a lot of symptoms in more subtle ways. I don't avoid really but I went entirely No Contact with my mom so idk. I might avoid in ways that are hard for me to see
I know this is a touchy subject, and I’ll try to breach it sensitively. I’m a former LEO. I went through some pretty tough times at my department, witnessed some truly awful things, and left the job about a year ago. However I haven’t truly been able to move on, since I have to continue going to court for cases I handled. I don’t want anything to do with this area or that PD, but I have to live with it by law. I’m really feeling stuck and and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to call it PTSD and yet here I am 😂. I just thank God I haven’t been using bad coping mechanisms.
hank you! I treat myself much better since I started watching your videos. And now I feel ready to get profesional help and to clear all my hidden stuff.
Thank You for this video and all this helpful information! I recently went through a lot of medical trauma after growing up with a lot of medical issues. I have had a lot of these symptoms and after watching your videos on this channel and at cinema therapy I have learned about PTSD and CPTSD and my own mental health. And thank you for encouraging me to get help. Keep being awesome and kind :)
I'm pretty sure I have PTSD of my baby's birth (that was really scary and near death experience!). I have pretty much all symptoms. I was sure the day I was listening to a video about birth from Mama Dr Johns and the story was near mine. My body started to react on its own, I was shaking, I was cold, etc. I'm not sure is my anxiety is related because it's a major event anyway and maybe I would have flair my anxiety with the baby anyway Because of it (and many other things), possible baby 2 is off the table.
Does it mean anything if you don't have triggers, or at least not any you can name? From all the things in my life, from my parents getting divorced, to a cult religion, constantly moving, my mother burning the house down and then later killing herself, to an abusive ex and failing college, and the my father killing himself six years ago, I have never felt particularly triggered or traumatized by any of it. I know I have been affected in a lot of ways, and I know something about my emotional response to outside stimulus has changed drastically, but I have never once felt like I could have anything like PTSD, that I just have social anxiety and depression. The last therapist I went to was very nice, and she helped me learn to say no to people, but she couldn't help with anything deeper and only suggested I see a psychiatrist and take meds. I never did because covid happened and now my husband is deployed. I'm sorry this is so long, I think I just had a lot built up, I can feel like something is wrong but nothing is actually wrong.
I would try to find a better therapist. It's a common reaction to basically be dissociative (numb to triggers/not react) and is part of the ways we (maladaptively?) cope in the aftermath of so much trauma, depending on the person
I really feel I have PTSD from a former employer. I hit every one of these symptoms and I hate it. But the job was a call center so I feel extra..... Something for having call center PTSD 😟
I would like to thank you for making this video. I have been raped by my stepfather whet I was 12 years old. After that I could not date, I hated being touched and I end up with an abusive boyfriend. Every time I saw scene in the movies I got anxiety attacks. My mother divorced with that man, but she was trying talk about it over and over again with me or her friends. It made me feel guilty for what happened to me and disgust about myself. I still cannot tell about to my current husband.
Can you actually heal completely from PTSD. It has been 12 years since I had to deal with any of the events that caused my PTSD. It was rough for a while but I truly think I am in a better place than I was. However every now and then I have those intrusive memories and even an occasional nightmare, And self destructive tendencies. I have better coping mechanisms than I did in the beginning but it was my understanding that some of these things would always be with me. It was really more about me learning how to reframe my thoughts and feelings. If it is actually possible to fully heal from PTSD I would like to know.
I have PTSD everything he said sound like what i going through right now i broke down crying hard when he was talking i didn't know what it i thought ptsd was for soilder only bec what they go through during the war i didn't think it could reply to me
I was not expecting to have all the symptoms but here we are. I knew I had PTSD possibly CPTSD. I d just did not realize how bad it really is. I do feel that I have to go it alone. Thats just how my life rolls. Idk.
If you are the person who has complex PTSD You may he offered therapies used to treat PTSD such as trauma-cognitve behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitisation reprocessing (EDMR)
I can't stand Family Guy and American Dad anymore because my abusive ex would watch it all the time. I also get repulsed by the phrase "you're beautiful inside and out" now because he would say that in the middle of all his hateful things. My stomach still turns when I see a truck like he used to drive fearing it's him. But I just don't go anywhere now. (There's the avoidance) granted I've had a few traumatic things for me inside my home so sadly it's a constant reminder but I just roll my eyes and shake my head when it's trauma from the exes seeping through.. the hardest trauma for me is all the animals I've lost (been there for 20 years).. my dog passed away in June (old age) and it still kills me. Glad we got to share his final moments together (we watched a dog's purpose and he gave his final breath as the movie ended) but he was my best friend for 13 years. I feel so lost without him.
Appreciate the video🦾💯💯💯💯 ive been interested in psychology for as long as I can remember and haven't don't much research as far as the people I've talked face to face (friends and family) trying to get more of an understanding and you've pretty much summed them up to a science!!
Yes. I could not watch anything about domestic violence. There are times someone will say something and I'm transported back to a situation and it's like I'm there. Still years later I still have a hard time going certain places becaus they remind me of what happened.
If people have seen my comments they know i am struggling with what i consider cPTSD, shit like my "dad" hitting my dog in the head with a hammer and screaming in my face all the time and constantly calling me names like a stupid little bitch, and everything i did was dumb, gay etc. The thing that was hard for me to see was all the "uncontrollable thoughts" i had, went back to daily trauma. It was ages 2-17 i dealt with him, so absolutely everything triggered these thoughts, to the point where i was having hundreds per day. It was basically constant. for a long time i rolled with these thoughts, and tried to figure out what i did wrong. Because i was always told I was the problem. I've relived every bad moment of my childhood hundreds of times, maybe thousands. What i learned in the end... i was a child. simple huh? Why do i say this? Anyone that blames you for being a child is simply wrong. If your parents scream at you for simply asking questions, stating desires not of their own, expressing how things make you feel... you are not wrong, they are. If you want to get help and they belittle you, try to stop you, make you lie, find someone-anyone trusted in your school or family willing to help you and try to find that help. If your parents hurt you or threaten to hurt you, call 911 or cps immediately. Dont be afraid that they will disown you or any of that garbage, because if they do. Its proof you were/are better off. Im 36 years old, and im just now starting to regain control of my life. I had to kick both of them out of my life to do so. I wish i just would have called, or ran to my grandparents. there's help, dont end up like me. I have one major problem left, the man that beat me down mentally so badly also is a grandmaster of taekwondo. He WAS the meanest, badass i ever met, what i called the "monster". I believed he truly would kill me when he threatened to do so for x y z. But all the things he told me to do, the rage i saw from him, and my 12 years of Martial Arts allowed me to imitate it when i was frightened. But after my real dad killed himself right when i wanted to meet him, and then my ex of 8 years ended up being a lesbian which i dont believe to be a fault of her own, something happened to me. I can only explain it as, the bar to reach the threshold for the monster to come out, was lowered. Things others may not find threatening, i sure as hell do. My soon to be wife just had to calm me down at the dealership when we were getting our truck worked on because all of the people in the waiting area were wearing masks and almost ALL of the people working there kept walking by us with NO MASK even though its state law and they have it posted on their front door. My heart was racing, i was getting so mad i started pointing to the news where it showed our county as being one of the worst and saying "Yeah, look its the worse in OUR county" While starting at the asshat 4 feet from me who worked there was getting his coffee, Unblinking, you know the stare. I have a weak immune system just like my mother and despite my double vaccination, i still take it DEADLY seriously. It took everything in me not to make a huge scene. Imagine what happened when at my last house my neighbor decided to spray pesticides through the fence because he didnt like the grass coming through. My dogs ate that grass, right or wrong, i took it as basically war on me and my family. After using my dslr camera to catch him in the act, while hiding around the corner, he called me over... oooooo boy, i told him i was going to show it to the cops if he ever did it again, and it took everything for me to not jump the fence and stop him my damned self. I share all of this so that if anyone is on the fence... get help... im too old to be dealing with childhood shit, and no one else should have to either.
I remember when I was a young teenager my mum threatened to jump out of the car into the highway, I was trying to deescalate this, it was so horrible, it was horrible and afterwards she told me not to talk about it or tell anyone. Fast word a few years later and I was watching a horror movie with me boyfriend at the time, and the mother shoots herself in the end… it was so upsetting to me that I cried for two hours and I told him and his parents about it, and even though I feel guilty about it, because I wasn’t supposed to… it was… traumatizing. I wonder if that gave me PTSD
Is random agitation and anger, problems socializing, anxiousness, worrying about things i cant control and angry about it, being very protective of family members, all signs? Or am I just a nutcase?
I've had 3 out of 4 if these as reoccurring problems for a number of years now for 2 completely separate things. Huh, maybe I should have brought that up when I had a therapist. At the time we discussed it as anxiety, but maybe it was a bit more than that >->
The nightmares are real, and it doesn't always involve the specific details of the abuse, it's just recurrent, frightening dreams. One night it's abuse at the hands of my abuser, the next day Darth Vader is chasing me, for instance.
![The Signs A Loved One May Have PTSD [& How to Spot Them]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/G39lA-VKYiw/mqdefault.jpg)
My son drowned and I pulled his grey, lifeless body out of the water. My neighbor was with me and did CPR and thank God he is fine now. My friends keep telling me I may have Ptsd but I guess I feel like I should be fine because he is fine. So everything should be fine. After all, he didn't die so I should be grateful. And I am, so grateful. But I keep seeing him and remembering the vacant eyes and blue lips and grey skin. For reference he is 4 yrs old. I check him when he's sleeping to make sure he's breathing.
Every single checkbox on your list, but don't have $150 per session to do anything about it... youtube is all there is until I can find something I can actually afford. And that is the biggest barrier to care.. money
EMDR helped me.. you can find videos of it on YT. I could never afford therapy either. I was kidnapped, tortured and shot twice. EMDR helped.. Not a cure.. but helps.
Google healing from PTSD... there may be some treatments for you on there with no charge without seeing a therapist. You can do this on your own I promise you. I suffer with Schizophrenia PTSD bipolar and others. I have jump in with my exteemes cases and have some very well. Dimt get me wrong my stpytoms are the worst! But it helps while your in them. You can do this I know. Also why not type in free therapy on you tube
@@anniesshenanigans3815same things happened to me. Not shot but because of the ex who abused me so extreme that I am now disabled for life many guns have been pulled in me. The scary part is also that my abuser is free and has never been charged with anything and I am disabled. We need we know when they may show up at anytime. Be careful if your in the same sort of situation I am in. The police don't do anything if you don't have proof. I was mind fucked by my ex. He said so himself, YOU CANT OROVE A FUCKING THING! HES RIGHT! But , I can prove I'm disabled and why. My memory is really not always that good because of the trauma.
I thought that ptsd help was a post for helping right now and giving excersizes but turns out it is also a money maker
I find a game of Tetris really helps me calm down after I have been triggered. There have been studies showing a game of Tetris soon after being triggered can reduce the severity/how often you get “triggered”. I would love to see a video of your thoughts on Tetris and PTSD. Of all the different versions of Tetris out there Tetris Effect, available for PS4/Xbox/PC is my favorite.
Side note: I hate how casually “triggered” is dropped in main stream culture.
I play Solitaire on my phone and it's a similar thing for me.
Yep, Peggle for me. 😅
I have CPTSD and have all the above symptoms. Trouble connecting. Trouble working. Trouble making goals and keeping commitments with myself. Trouble driving and using other machinery. Massive anxiety. Loss of ability to study, read and focus. Easily startled. Very vulnerable in family situations. This has all come to a head due to Covid.
I would like to thank you for making these kind of video's and explaining what PTSD is. I have been struggling with a lot of these symptoms and even after some therapy I didn't understand what was happening to me. I thought I knew what PTSD was and that I did not have any of it, but after this video I know so much more. There are things that make sense now and I feel the strenght again to get help qnd not fight it alone. Thank you.
I suffer complex ptsd and alot of the time I think what is wrong with me - why do I feel so misunderstood. I even struggle to really let my guard down even around my counsellor. Hypervigilant (sorry bad spelling) I'm always looking out for danger and unable to fully relax. I avoid close relationships and rarely open up. Fearing danger at any second. Ready to run. I'm always in a flight or fight response. It's exhausting. And I hate feeling like this. Been feeling this way for years. I can't get a job because I fear judgement. It's really hard...
This video was amazing at describing what my day to day is like. The hypervigilance is the most exhausting for me because it's an every day event. The flashbacks happen periodically and I have good coping mechanism so they don't knock me down. But the hypervigilance I can't stop.
I did that! I tried to take a left-hand turn into a full parking lot and started crying in traffic.
A member of my group ran through through several lanes of traffic to come talk me through it.
I never even realized that this could have been related to a car accident I had been in earlier that year.
Sorry to hear you had the car accident. They can cause ptsd, and triggers like the one you experienced. If you ever wish to talk about it, you can book a free 15 minute call on this link: www.go.oncehub.com/jonathandecker This is something you can work through and it would be really nice for you to not have to have stress around it anymore.
I fucking loathe vehicles and refuse to drive
I’m a Veteran. It took me years to figure out how messed up I was. It took an old Army buddy of mine who pointed it out to me. I always wondered why my life was the train wreck it was. PTSD is real, and it’s a monster that has stolen the lives of people who did nothing wrong. Get help, but I must say that some of the best therapists never set foot in any university. Mine was a boss in my first job out of the military. He was a Veteran as well and instinctively knew that what I needed was peace, tranquility and quiet. He gave me that. I’m much better now and I had a chance to thank him for my “therapy”, he went through it himself, and just saw a little of himself in me I guess.
😢 Glad you're OK now. Your boss was a blessing.
I have had PTSD since 1997 when I was kidnapped, tortured and shot twice. Nightmares have outlasted any of the other symptoms. and I still have an exaggerated response to loud sudden noises, so I avoid fireworks if possible. Most people do not have to find validation for it, they already know.
As someone with C-PTSD thank you for doing videos like this.
I would love to see a video specifically on sexual assault trauma. It's something so many people deal with, and it's uncomfortable to talk about, but I think it's a very important conversation to have. Maybe give points on what men can do when it comes to holding your friends accountable for the way they treat women and confronting red flags. I just started EMDR and learned a few methods on how to confront triggers and respond and I would love your input on the subject. I adore your channels and it's helped aid my mental health journey (alongside therapy of course) while giving me small doses of insight that I can apply to my life. Keep up the amazing work ❤️
Males suffer SA too.
They rarely get help, or even validation.
Thank you so much for this video and especially the breakdown of all the things that make PTSD a viable diagnosis. I keep saying that maybe I don't have PTSD anymore or it isn't that bad because I don't have all the symptoms (especially the most commonly associated ones) but as you went through them I realise how much of an issue this is still creating in my life.
Thank you for also taking about aspects of PTSD that are difficult to avoid and that are part of your day to day life. This is a major thorn in my side and avoidance can just make things worse. While you know you need to do something, you are terrified to do it because you are choosing to trigger yourselves over and over again. Part of my trauma is financial trauma and that makes managing my tax etc almost impossible to do.
In addition, I have always been a creative thinker and writer but since having PTSD I haven't been able (until recently) to let my mind wander creatively because I am scared of where it will take me. I can feel myself slowly getting better but it is such a rollercoaster that a lot of the time it doesn't look like that. Please keep up the amazing videos both here and on on your Cinema Therapy channel.
Also, would you be able to do a video on the psychology of trauma anniversaries? I always struggle around that time of year and get so confused by the different degrees of emotion both overwhelming and sometimes numbness/lack of emotional reaction.
I found your comment very helpful, especially the part about fear of doing things that trigger you over and over.
Thank you so much for this. I've been considering looking into getting a diagnosis for PTSD, and when this thumbnail came up, literally pointing at me, I stopped scrolling. It was still really hard to press play. "I'm not that bad," I told myself. "I know people who really have PTSD, they have it much worse than me. And besides, I already know a lot about PTSD, I've researched it to help my friends, what else could there be to know..." I scrolled down ... then back up. And agonised. And pressed play. And every single sentence hit home. I'm going to send this video to my regular psychologist and we're going to talk about it in our next session. Thank you. For being there to say exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I also want to compliment you on how good you've gotten at talking to the camera - since I found this channel last month I've watched through most of the videos you have up, and it's very clear how much more comfortable you've gotten on camera. You sound so genuine, and compassionate, and non-judgemental, and patient in this video. Beautifully done.
Sadly, many people are getting therapy when they don't need it too. Then it makes people who really need it marginalized. Gen Z...."EVERYONE NEEDS THERAPY!".
I was hoping someone on here could shed some light.. So, I didn't have any childhood trauma. But, about 20 and 25 years ago, I met two seperate guys 5 years apart. The first one started out good. He told me he loved me. fast forward about a month or so. He started comparing me to other women. "why can't you look like this?" He would catcall other women in front of me even though he knew I suffered from extreme self image issues and jealousy. One day I woke up and I really hated myself my body etc so I called the police telling them I didn't feel safe with myself and that I wanted to not be alive anymore. I told my boyfriend I was going somewhere to get help, and he said "I can't go with you, i'm not riding in an ambulance or a police car" All the while right in front of me looking at dirty sites. That was pretty traumatic on me, it didn't help my self image and self esteem any at all. About 4 1/2 years later, I met someone else online. We clicked awesome. we had the same taste in music, same outlook on certain subjects, and he made me feel listened to, loved. We got married about a half year later. A little while after that, I discovered I was pregnant. We were happy at the time. After I had my son, I went from 100 lbs to about 140. In less than a year, he was telling me that I need to lose weight. I need to stop eating. I need to take diet pills. He then dropped something on me. He told me I had to lose weight or he would divorce me. I told him I would. The exact opposite happened. I thought since two men in a row told me I wasn't good enough, not pretty enough, not skinny enough, maybe they're right. So I gained another 30 lbs. We got divorced and I started feeling better. But after all that and still to this day, every time I get called fat, by a stranger or anyone, I automatically go into a trance where I cry hard, I get intrusive and bad self hatred thoughts. It used to also get so bad that self harm would take place. I have learned to not hurt myself. The words my exes said go through my head every time. You're too fat. You're not pretty enough, etc." I then go to one extreme or another. I will eat very little or I will over eat. Anyway, I probably should talk to my doctor about this but I am afraid if I ask if I have PTSD they will dismiss me. Insights anyone? Thank you for reading this if you did.
On guard:
I always have some kind of weapon.
I can sit in a restaurant with my back to the door, but I dislike it.
I react violently when something comes close to my face suddenly.
My therapist and I agree that I have PTSD, but I have yet to narrow down a specific cause or trigger. I kinda associate it with my childhood in general, which there was no abuse or anything major like that but there was a certain level of strictness within my household. Being an only child I became very reclusive. My mother was strict so I never talked back to her. I remember watching Dr. Phil one afternoon where as punishment a mother took everything out of their child's room but the mattress and bedclothes and my mother agreeing that it was a justifiable punishment. I also never had a lock on my door. I think due to this, church, school, and social standards, I fell into the roll of the 'good' person. The one who was nice to everyone. The one that never got angry. The one who never caused conflict. If conflict happened around me, it was my fault for not preventing it. I couldn't be sad because I was relatively privileged (middle income family) and I couldn't complain because there were starving kids in Africa and I should be grateful.
I've dealt with a lot of baggage, yet I still find myself growing numb to people around me. Maybe it's fear of becoming attached and then getting abandoned. I'm fine with making acquaintances but wrestle with opening up to people I don't fully trust. My bonds are either strong or near non-existent. I wish to connect again but I'm so afraid to. The last person I let myself get unintentionally attached to got an injury which he had to leave our mutual workplace. We had no way of communicating with each other and after he left my workplace became more and more of a hell. I would hope that he would come back but tell myself I should be happy that he didn't have to go through that struggle anymore. He struggled with addiction but still keeps going, so he still inspires me, but I feel like I may be a burden to him. I even struggle now with my fear and self criticism, trying to live life to the fullest but calling myself a hypocrite due to this paralyzing fear. The fear of not being enough and being left behind again
Life can definitely be hard at times, and it sounds like you have a lot going on. Would you like to talk with me about it, because I may be able to help you to heal and grow through some of these things that you are talking about. If you do wish to talk, you can book a free 15 minute call using this link: www.go.oncehub.com/jonathandecker
Be kind to yourself. You can not change your childhood but at least we can change today. Do not give up to break the cycle and be better to yourself. I send you tons of hugs.
I have PTSD. An anxiety panic attacks and I want to Thank you so much for helping me to accept what am I struggling with. Big stone fell off my body right now after a long time.
I'm 41 and still can't fall asleep without the predator from when I was 14 crossing my mind... I was also in a 5 year abusive relationship that almost 10 years later I'm still working through that abuse. Thank you for posting this. People need to be aware that it's not just combat in war that can cause PTSD. Hyper awareness? Yep, always!
I have PTSD as a result of a sexual assault where my attacker, my boyfriend at the time, nearly killed me. I have lived with the memories, the flashbacks, nightmares. I have lived cowering whenever someone i care about raises their voice or their hand to me. when my father or my husband would get mad i would shy away want to disappear just so i cant be targeted by their anger. it took YEARS to be able to trust enough to allow someone to touch me and even longer to be able to talk about what had happened without being right back there being victimized again. when I go places I can not sleep closest to the door, I don't feel safe and thus i cant sleep. when at home alone I keep my firearm close, check the doors and windows multiple times, I keep my dog at my side since her hearing and smell are much better then mine, she will know if someone enters the house.
Your video brought up a lot of it in my head, not reliving anything but it struck a nerve and things i didn't realize were so closely tied to my PTSD now have an explanation. Thank you... so very much thank you.
Amazing! This is what I was looking for. I certainly have those symptoms every day. Especially during the night. Everyone who knows me, knows also not to touch me when I'm in deep sleep. Because not only I am with PTSD, I am also a martial artist for 2.5 decades, and it could be very dangerous. Because when someone awake me in a touch, I don't recognize who is touching me, for about 30 seconds, I see an enemy, and my brain sees the touch as an attack, as a threat. If anyone wants to wake me up, he/she should talk to me from a probable distance. When I wake up I answer-What? In a panic, even if spoken to in a soft voice. And I always say, to whoever waking me up, usually my mother-The fact that I answer in panic, and I'm jumpy, it has nothing to do with you. It's just my personal trauma, my personal pain. And she don't understand, it surprises her every time. So after I'm reconnected with reality, I give the okay to come near me. 30 seconds it's enough to deliver one or more devastating blows on anyone, and mine are such in even half my power. And it has some other affects on my life, I'm having trouble to give trust in people because of that.
You're not the only person who needs to be approached this way....
After my dad passed away, my mom fell into an abusive relationship. This man tormented us for 8 long years, since I was about 10. He is no longer with us, thankfully. He is in prison for life.
Anyways, for a while after he was taken away, I showed a lot of these symptoms. I was always jumpy and scared. I had reoccurring nightmares, loud bangs, loud voices, cursing, and shuffling would send me back to that place.
Now, I think I've gotten over it. But I do this thing where I panic when I call a family member/loved one, and they don't answer. And I talk to myself and tell myself that they're okay. And I have this constant battle going on in my head, where I'm panicking and not panicking. Until I get a text or a call confirming what I already knew, that they're okay. So, in conclusion, I don't think I've gotten over it, and I really think I need therapy 😅
very well made video. I have cPTSD and have/have had most of these symptoms at one point. Luckily I've been doing very better, but still triggers/nightmares can still happen
I was told I had PTSD several years ago, and I questioned if that was true or not because I've been through a lot over a long period of time but nothing like a war veteran where my life was in danger every day. But I have every one of these 4 symptoms. I was on antidepressants and anxiety medication but I stopped talking them a while back because of money issues. I also never really found help for it again because of money issues.
War veterans aren't in danger every day. Only when they are on operations and then when they engage the enemy.
Every time CPTSD is described, I go: "Ah....". And living with your trigger, that way of wording it really had quite an impact.
You know, one of the things I notice we don't do right in how we build society, is on the large assumption that people are mostly healthy and the majority is fine.
I don't know about having met even a single person like that. 😶 Not a single person!
The norm is people being in quite a mess and at least half of our time having to go towards mending. Because healing as an individual doesn't last us long the moment we move outside of our safe space. Which makes healing as a group - on top if the individual healing - so very valuable.
I do see many efforts, though. And that is always something that gives me hope. That we talk about many things to large audience, is a good sign. :3
Thank you for your work
"You know, one of the things I notice we don't do right in how we build society, is on the large assumption that people are mostly healthy and the majority is fine" - OMG YES!!! That is exactly how I feel. People say that this and that is being over diagnosed and I'm here thinking "no, it just means that this issue is a larger part of the world than society thinks or acknowledges"
The problem with most "Therapists" or "Psychiatrist" is that they think the automatic response to a PTSD "trigger" is fear. As a USMC veteran with violent PTSD, I can tell you that it is a very wrong and potentially deadly assumption to make. My reaction to my "Triggers" is immediate violence because the "Fight" of fight or flight is what kicks in. You need to be very careful applying a broad brush to "everyone" who has PTSD. The rest of the "symptoms" aren't too far off, but they are still off.
Thank you so very very much for acknowledging 'betrayal trauma'
"keep shining" really made me cry... I'm so happy I've found this channel, I was already following Cinema Therapy that is awesome
Excellent video! Very insightful.
I recently was told I may have CPTSD from the years of neglect I endured as a child.
I identified with a lot of what you mentioned in this video, thank you so much for this!
I didn't full understanding PTSD until 2 years ago. I had experienced trauma that continued over a period of time. And everything in your video is so accurate to how I felt and acted. I have now started working with a therapist and hope to find some healing. Thank you for your informative videos.
I was confused.... I got totally drawn into your talk, which I felt was directly aimed at me. It was like you had my medical chart. I also suffer from BPD and I say suffer because it makes me feel like a alien in this world and I suffer as a result, everyday with every interaction I have with humans. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I love to learn about human behaviour and illness.
I was in a car accident (as a passenger) in 2002, maybe 2003. (When did Ghost Ship come out in theaters? Because a friend was driving the two of us to go see it when the accident happened.)
Anyway, she hit someone who was waiting to make a left turn, we spun around, and the air bag went off. Just before it happened, I saw where the car was stopped, waiting to turn, and wondered if she was far enough over to not hit it. She got a bloody nose, but that was the only injury either of us got. But since then, I can't stand being a passenger when someone else is driving. I absolutely freak out, especially if it feels like we're too close to the car in front of us. (It was HORRIBLE for me when I visited my ex in Michigan and his father picked me up from the airport. Not only was I in the passenger seat, but he was barrelling down the highway at about seventy, practically on top of the car in front of us.)
But it didn't even occur to me that this could be PTSD until several months ago. It doesn't majorly affect my life, I just make sure to be the one driving if I'm going somewhere. But I do miss being able to be a relaxed passenger and enjoy the sights around me. Instead, if I have to drive with someone else behind the wheel, I'm constantly watching in front of us, worrying about other vehicles.
I remember walking into the grocery store and there was a man in the deli section to my right. My partner was blocking my view but I kept trying to see this man and my heart was just racing, I was so scared that it was my kids dad. Even though I lived 6 hours away in a completely different town. It wasn't him but the reflexivity of it was hard.
Of all things I've experienced that could have left permanent impact, its actually childbirth that has left me with PTSD. Specifically c section or operation rooms as me experience was an emergency situation. I'm sent into flashbacks and syncope episodes if I'm triggered.
It's quite common for childbirth to cause PTSD and to be traumatic in all sorts of ways especially when things like a C-Section have to be involved. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that.
Well, based on this video, it looks like the Army did not give me PTSD. Lots of anger issues, a complete distrust/disgust with virtually any authority figure and an Asperger's diagnosis back in 2011, but no PTSD. That's a relief. 😜
Thank you so much for this video! I’m getting tested for PTSD tomorrow cause my mother in law emotionally abused me and even almost beat me when my husband and I lived with her. Now I know what to expect tomorrow. I’m really more convinced I have it after watching your video
Any updates?
Started crying when you listed the four symptoms. I have been experiencing all of them for several years. There is actually a possibility to get better? Will be making a phone call to get on the wait list for our local free mental health center. And thank you for making these videos and for mentioning this video in your CinemaTherapy Katniss Everdeen video.
I've got triggered just watching this and unwillingly shut down listening somewhere around point 3...
Were there different points? I made it to 4mins realised I wasn’t listening, I don’t know if I even got through the first section, came to comments, read a couple, completely zoned out for, I’m not sure how long and now I’m commenting.
Strangely yours was the one open when I zoned back in.
My God this happens to me since my car accident. I can't sleep at night. I have been withdrawing from the world as much as possible. Thunder and Lightning reminds me of the sound of the impact of my accident. I felt my soul left my body and the pain was horrible. But the loud noise from thunder and/or lighting brings me back to that moment. I dream my accident as if it was yesterday and it was more than two years ago. I want my life back the way it was before this accident. I have EXTREME anxiety to where it is affecting my work. My daily life is a struggle both mentally and physically. I know I have to drive so I vomit almost everyday before I leave my house. I HATE driving. I am absolutely terrified of driving.
❤
As diagnosed ptsd I get it from my mother's suicide attempt when I was 15.I have nightmares,flashback and avoidance tendency have strange fear of scissors due to my mother.
I've been to therapy in the past, and i solved many f my problems (anxiety, tendency to obsession, panic attacks, an almost ED) or at least I've been given the tools to deal with them; overall, i was and still am really healthy and functional. Despite that, last year i went through a really difficult moment with my family, tried to search for help with my psychologist and also an organization that should prevent abuse from parents to children or something, but my pain was minimized and belittled. I thought that i was alone, and that i couldn't stand living like that anymore. I attempted suicide, failing, and the backlash was even worse. I lost my connection with my family and a member of it whom i didnt even have problems with beforehand, went to a therapy session with my family and my psychologist didnt defend me against my family till they weren't with us and i did a private session; the feeling of betrayal, after one year, still lives vividly with me, and the only option that i had to survive was through avoidance. I let myself be at my lowest for one (1) month, and then went on with my life as if nothing had happened - joking about it, talking lightly of it, while having nightmares and an extremely hard time taking showers because it triggered me. It still does, even with minor ripercussions. I dont even know why im talking about this, but i just wanted to say that i fear i my suffer from ptsd and i dont have the tools to go again to therapy, to the same psychologist that "betrayed" me and explain to my parents that i need to start therapy again because all of that happened one year ago still has impact over me. I suffer from major memory loss, by both long and short term (dont know if it has to do with it or not tbh), headaches, sometimes i have trouble sleeping and relaxing. I stopped doing many things i loved because i didnt have the energy to put up with them, which i dedicated to surviving. I don't think that im in a bad place in life, I've had worst - ome year ago i was really at my lowest point in life, it was one of the darkest periods and i am partially grateful for not remembering about it - but i know that i could be better and i SHOULD be better. Thank you for sharing all these informations with us.
I didn't think I have PTSD, but the moment Jonathan mentioned the 4 symptoms it just clicked.
I went to couples therapy with my husband few years ago and pretty soon my childhood trauma came up so our therapist asked me to do some sessions with me only to talk about it before we carried on.
Every time those sessions were over I felt angry and just in a bad place for 2/3 days straight. I don't think it helped me much but don't know why. I only know that that experience put me off going back to therapy to talk about it.
Couples therapy worked though
I was emotionally abused at work, and had glitches that caused my drawer to appear short when it wasn't. I got a lot of trauma when around managers
The bad combo I had: traumatic amnesia, ptsd and complex ptsd. I remembered some of the traumatic events more than 10 years after, a major one actually 20 years after. Hard to work on something when you don't even know it has happened.
Sometimes your mind won't let you remember until you've in a safer situation.
Startreck deals with PTSD in a lot of episodes. I specifically recall one from season four of DS9 where Miles O'Brien experiences severe ptsd from an intense incarceration.
That was a great episode!
I have all these symptoms thanks
physical and mental abuse as a child, dad disappeared, shot at the first time at 9yo, watched my mom beat and almost executed almost daily, was homeless, kidnapped, "friend' committed a murder then hunted me, defended family from abusive step dad and went to prison, fought to eat, got stabbed in the chest, got shot at some more, friend points gun in my face then shoots his gf in the head, wife cheated and left, lost child for 15 years, buried sibling, buried 3 best friends in a year(and theres a fuck ton more). I have every symptom to an extreme, do I have ptsd?
One of the things that I experience is that I’m super jumpy. It used to be so bad that I could see someone walking toward me and they could still make me jump by talking to me. My friends used to laugh because they found it funny. The worst part is that my dad thinks that I fake it because my reaction is delayed slightly because my body is weird like that.
I had the exact same reaction over and over for so many years. I feel like it's mostly gone now but that's exactly what it's like and it confused myself that I literally saw them coming and still jumped anyway when they spoke or maybe i heard the footsteps but jumped when I saw them, either way one thing didn't mean the rest of me had caught up enough to not be startled. I was super hypervigiliant from my CPTSD from being abused as a kid by my mom.
Luckily no one accused me of faking it... And no one laughed at me. I kinda was embarrassed and laughed at myself though as a confused coping mechanism.
I was accused of faking my crying though by my abusive mom when I started to cry when she hadn't even yelled yet she just started to get a little angry and like a Pavlov's Dogs type response I'd immediately burst into full on tears at some point before the rage even escalated to that point where it would be warranted to be that hysterically crying. And i would be very offended when she'd say they were "crocodile tears" and i knew they weren't but at the same time I was confused by my own body's reaction to be crying before my emotions had even caught up to feeling like level of crying was warranted
Is it possible to heal from PTSD? I was diagnosed about 5 years ago & still struggle with triggers. I’ve been to counseling, meds, etc. Would love to know your thoughts on someone having a healthy future who has really struggled. It is hard to be hopeful when it just haunts you everyday. Thanks so much for your channel!
Oh! Oh I have a question this time. Can you please explain Anxiety attacks please?
I notice that I kind of know what it may look like? But then I notice that I'm imagining "loud" panic attacks with someone curling up and rocking and covering their ears? But are there..... quiet and externally not very visible forms? What's to know about that topic and what are good known ways to offer support when someone has an anxiety attack?
Especially, how to support when someone at the other side of the world says in chat they are slipping into one and seek help? Anything helpful I can recommend them to do for themselves or say to themselves?
I think I read about taking an ice cube in your mouth?
Could you talk about it all?
Wow, I have or have had the majority of these. It is really hard to get help when therapy in the area is not common and so expensive and insurance doesn’t cover it. I’ve wanted therapy for years, but I’ve never been able to afford it.
I once talked to my GP about anxiety and my insurance didn’t cover that appointment because anxiety was mentioned. Now I can’t even let my doctors know my medical history for fear that insurance won’t cover it.
this is one of the best descriptions of ptsd ive seen on youtube
I have CPTSD due to a war veteran who also had PTSD. He drank every day and did the worse things you can imagine to me for years.
As much as it sucks, the hardest part is how people react to my ptsd or having to explain it to people, especially people i don't trust.
I hope you know this: Your voice conveys your empathy and it helps a lot to someone watching.
Thank you so much for letting me know. That is very kind and encouraging, and I appreciate it! I hope the videos are helpful to you.
Talking about my abusive mother triggers me. If a conversation keeps going about mama, i immediately go on the roller coaster and cannot get off til it stops.
Sigh cant believe I have this for years and it only get worst ... I wasn't even realizing I've got PTSD ...smh it gets worst by the day
I believe that my sisters and I have PTSD, we haven't been diagnosed, however just from hearing about their nightmares along with other behaviors I feel like we have it. I know we all have depression.
Thank you so, so much for this video, Jonathan ❤ you deliver your explanations/anything really with such care and obvious compassion. Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything you do!! You are such a natural therapist.
I am currently having my "first" PTSD trigger and it's lasted a few months now. I'm having panic attacks almost every week, I can hardly eat, I'm so, so anxious. And it's centered around my partner's drinking. He doesn't necessarily abuse alcohol, and I never had an issue with it before. but because of my childhood filled with neglectful drug and alcohol addicted parents, I'm apparently having PTSD triggers associated with my partner's drinking.
We are both really struggling right now, since this has been affecting our relationship. I am in therapy, but I'm afraid that this is going to last forever.
It's totally understandable that drinking would have a negative correlation in your brain and trigger a trauma response. Hoping for your continued healing, both individually and in your relationship! - Jonathan
@@MendedLight Hi, is there a way I can talk to you?
My ex husband had sex addiction (diagnosed). When I discovered that, something that shifted my world around, I had a lot of these symptoms. I remember going to a birthday party that was close to a place that had sex workers, and going to the bathroom immediately after entering the place with a severe panic attack. This became recurring. I also had a lot of nightmares, the kind that makes you wake up screaming. I would hide these from my therapist sometimes because I felt so ashamed of the reason I felt that.
Much later on I discovered that sex addict's partners can develop symptoms of PTSD. I was never diagnosed, and frankly I don't think it was my case (it disappeared while I was treating depression), but it's interesting to learn that PTSD doesn't occur only after violent events.
PTSD discussions are seemingly everywhere now, on the internet or in pop culture analysis now, since about a half year or so. Not to mention all the 21st century superheroes that are in therapy now in movies/tv. I might be imagining this.
Maybe there was some new studies or books that popularized these discussions? The increased interest in it could also be an effect of everyone on the planet experiencing the shocking disruptions of a pandemic now, which in turn might have highlighted some of the up to then more easily compartmentalized personal stuff people had going, or even some other planetary stuff like climate crisis, ongoing social revolutions, civilization seeming about to collapse, etc. Or not.
Anyway thanks for the clear overview.
Hard to know what to make of it all. It's like it's almost fashionable to have it, and some people wear it like a badge of honour, and never let go of it. Me personally it was cause of a lot of shame for decades and I kept it hidden, even now I wouldn't tell work colleague, acquaintances etc. Nowadays I'm fine, however without going into the details, my assailant was sentenced to 7 years in prison - it was almost deadly. And I had to face them in court. I see people commenting on general life problems that seem to be giving them PTSD, maybe it's a symptom of being unable to cope with life and how ordinary/even dreadful other people can be. Bad relationships/bad workplace relationships, subject of strict parenting, people being wrapped up in themselves and their own problems etc. Is everyone becoming more sensitive? I don't know. I see people commenting about being the victim of sexual assault (yes - PTSD) and then someone else saying they had no friends at school so they have PTSD?
@@marknorris1381 It's more and more recognized that trauma is extremely common, and that trauma often has lasting negative consequences. And PTSD is nowadays more or less understood as a spectrum, so there's different types and different severities. The younger generations are much more open about psychological.issues
I think there's a bit of a tendency to wrongfully classify any lingering issues that are due to trauma, as PTSD, just like there is an issue with people calling any lingering bad mood depression. I don't believe it's some sort of fad to hav mental afflictions.
I have horrible PTSD.
I cannot accept the consequences of all that has happened. Im always in stress, im reliving the moment, and all the coulda shouda wouldas that would have prevented this Trauma.
... im unable to go outside the apt. The anxiety , rhe insomnia and the depression.
... its so horrible to suffer day and night.
This seems like a very different approach to what counts as PTSD than the diagnostic criteria and it means I do count as having it. It took me forever to realize i was getting triggered at times and having emotional flashbacks and a lot of symptoms in more subtle ways. I don't avoid really but I went entirely No Contact with my mom so idk. I might avoid in ways that are hard for me to see
thank you both for making these videos! It's such an easy and quick way to get my head around emotions and motivations within stressful events
I’m mid 40. I still have nightmares about my mom beating me. No amount of counseling is going to fix it.
Thank you, this helped :)
I know this is a touchy subject, and I’ll try to breach it sensitively. I’m a former LEO. I went through some pretty tough times at my department, witnessed some truly awful things, and left the job about a year ago. However I haven’t truly been able to move on, since I have to continue going to court for cases I handled. I don’t want anything to do with this area or that PD, but I have to live with it by law. I’m really feeling stuck and and don’t know what to do. I don’t want to call it PTSD and yet here I am 😂. I just thank God I haven’t been using bad coping mechanisms.
hank you! I treat myself much better since I started watching your videos. And now I feel ready to get profesional help and to clear all my hidden stuff.
Thank You for this video and all this helpful information! I recently went through a lot of medical trauma after growing up with a lot of medical issues. I have had a lot of these symptoms and after watching your videos on this channel and at cinema therapy I have learned about PTSD and CPTSD and my own mental health. And thank you for encouraging me to get help. Keep being awesome and kind :)
Thank you for this video. Everything you've said here is incredibly helpful and informative. Thank you very much
Yup, I have PTSD and have for a year now, it's making my life hell.
I'm pretty sure I have PTSD of my baby's birth (that was really scary and near death experience!). I have pretty much all symptoms. I was sure the day I was listening to a video about birth from Mama Dr Johns and the story was near mine. My body started to react on its own, I was shaking, I was cold, etc.
I'm not sure is my anxiety is related because it's a major event anyway and maybe I would have flair my anxiety with the baby anyway
Because of it (and many other things), possible baby 2 is off the table.
"I'm tired of running away " Rocket Raccoon. Poor guy, I bet he knows what C-PTSD feels like.
Does it mean anything if you don't have triggers, or at least not any you can name? From all the things in my life, from my parents getting divorced, to a cult religion, constantly moving, my mother burning the house down and then later killing herself, to an abusive ex and failing college, and the my father killing himself six years ago, I have never felt particularly triggered or traumatized by any of it.
I know I have been affected in a lot of ways, and I know something about my emotional response to outside stimulus has changed drastically, but I have never once felt like I could have anything like PTSD, that I just have social anxiety and depression.
The last therapist I went to was very nice, and she helped me learn to say no to people, but she couldn't help with anything deeper and only suggested I see a psychiatrist and take meds. I never did because covid happened and now my husband is deployed.
I'm sorry this is so long, I think I just had a lot built up, I can feel like something is wrong but nothing is actually wrong.
I would try to find a better therapist. It's a common reaction to basically be dissociative (numb to triggers/not react) and is part of the ways we (maladaptively?) cope in the aftermath of so much trauma, depending on the person
Like 6:20 in this video
I really feel I have PTSD from a former employer. I hit every one of these symptoms and I hate it. But the job was a call center so I feel extra..... Something for having call center PTSD 😟
It's a real thing. Workplaces are way too often traumatic. Genuinely so.
Thank you for this information. I knew I am diagnosed with it from my psychiatrist and therapist, but I didn’t know what it meant.
yes, yes I do. especially cz I retraumatize myself constantly.
I like how mended light talks
I would like to thank you for making this video. I have been raped by my stepfather whet I was 12 years old. After that I could not date, I hated being touched and I end up with an abusive boyfriend. Every time I saw scene in the movies I got anxiety attacks. My mother divorced with that man, but she was trying talk about it over and over again with me or her friends.
It made me feel guilty for what happened to me and disgust about myself.
I still cannot tell about to my current husband.
Can you actually heal completely from PTSD. It has been 12 years since I had to deal with any of the events that caused my PTSD. It was rough for a while but I truly think I am in a better place than I was. However every now and then I have those intrusive memories and even an occasional nightmare, And self destructive tendencies. I have better coping mechanisms than I did in the beginning but it was my understanding that some of these things would always be with me. It was really more about me learning how to reframe my thoughts and feelings. If it is actually possible to fully heal from PTSD I would like to know.
I have PTSD everything he said sound like what i going through right now i broke down crying hard when he was talking i didn't know what it i thought ptsd was for soilder only bec what they go through during the war i didn't think it could reply to me
What about shutting down when someone gets verbally aggressive, overwhelmed where you can’t function
Big Congrats to the one who made this thumbnail for this topic. It fits best!
Thank you
I was not expecting to have all the symptoms but here we are. I knew I had PTSD possibly CPTSD. I d just did not realize how bad it really is. I do feel that I have to go it alone. Thats just how my life rolls. Idk.
If you are the person who has complex PTSD You may he offered therapies used to treat PTSD such as trauma-cognitve behavioral therapy (CBT) or eye movement desensitisation reprocessing (EDMR)
is it normal for your moods to just be a calm sadness and anger? ive never been outwardly aggressive/intense but i seriously relate to a lot of this.
I can't stand Family Guy and American Dad anymore because my abusive ex would watch it all the time. I also get repulsed by the phrase "you're beautiful inside and out" now because he would say that in the middle of all his hateful things. My stomach still turns when I see a truck like he used to drive fearing it's him. But I just don't go anywhere now. (There's the avoidance) granted I've had a few traumatic things for me inside my home so sadly it's a constant reminder but I just roll my eyes and shake my head when it's trauma from the exes seeping through.. the hardest trauma for me is all the animals I've lost (been there for 20 years).. my dog passed away in June (old age) and it still kills me. Glad we got to share his final moments together (we watched a dog's purpose and he gave his final breath as the movie ended) but he was my best friend for 13 years. I feel so lost without him.
My boyfriend is still cleaning up after my explosion yesterday. Anger management is an issue.
Appreciate the video🦾💯💯💯💯 ive been interested in psychology for as long as I can remember and haven't don't much research as far as the people I've talked face to face (friends and family) trying to get more of an understanding and you've pretty much summed them up to a science!!
Yes. I could not watch anything about domestic violence. There are times someone will say something and I'm transported back to a situation and it's like I'm there. Still years later I still have a hard time going certain places becaus they remind me of what happened.
If people have seen my comments they know i am struggling with what i consider cPTSD, shit like my "dad" hitting my dog in the head with a hammer and screaming in my face all the time and constantly calling me names like a stupid little bitch, and everything i did was dumb, gay etc. The thing that was hard for me to see was all the "uncontrollable thoughts" i had, went back to daily trauma. It was ages 2-17 i dealt with him, so absolutely everything triggered these thoughts, to the point where i was having hundreds per day. It was basically constant.
for a long time i rolled with these thoughts, and tried to figure out what i did wrong. Because i was always told I was the problem. I've relived every bad moment of my childhood hundreds of times, maybe thousands. What i learned in the end... i was a child.
simple huh? Why do i say this? Anyone that blames you for being a child is simply wrong. If your parents scream at you for simply asking questions, stating desires not of their own, expressing how things make you feel... you are not wrong, they are. If you want to get help and they belittle you, try to stop you, make you lie, find someone-anyone trusted in your school or family willing to help you and try to find that help.
If your parents hurt you or threaten to hurt you, call 911 or cps immediately. Dont be afraid that they will disown you or any of that garbage, because if they do. Its proof you were/are better off.
Im 36 years old, and im just now starting to regain control of my life. I had to kick both of them out of my life to do so. I wish i just would have called, or ran to my grandparents.
there's help, dont end up like me.
I have one major problem left, the man that beat me down mentally so badly also is a grandmaster of taekwondo. He WAS the meanest, badass i ever met, what i called the "monster". I believed he truly would kill me when he threatened to do so for x y z. But all the things he told me to do, the rage i saw from him, and my 12 years of Martial Arts allowed me to imitate it when i was frightened. But after my real dad killed himself right when i wanted to meet him, and then my ex of 8 years ended up being a lesbian which i dont believe to be a fault of her own, something happened to me. I can only explain it as, the bar to reach the threshold for the monster to come out, was lowered. Things others may not find threatening, i sure as hell do.
My soon to be wife just had to calm me down at the dealership when we were getting our truck worked on because all of the people in the waiting area were wearing masks and almost ALL of the people working there kept walking by us with NO MASK even though its state law and they have it posted on their front door. My heart was racing, i was getting so mad i started pointing to the news where it showed our county as being one of the worst and saying "Yeah, look its the worse in OUR county" While starting at the asshat 4 feet from me who worked there was getting his coffee, Unblinking, you know the stare. I have a weak immune system just like my mother and despite my double vaccination, i still take it DEADLY seriously. It took everything in me not to make a huge scene. Imagine what happened when at my last house my neighbor decided to spray pesticides through the fence because he didnt like the grass coming through. My dogs ate that grass, right or wrong, i took it as basically war on me and my family. After using my dslr camera to catch him in the act, while hiding around the corner, he called me over... oooooo boy, i told him i was going to show it to the cops if he ever did it again, and it took everything for me to not jump the fence and stop him my damned self.
I share all of this so that if anyone is on the fence... get help... im too old to be dealing with childhood shit, and no one else should have to either.
I remember when I was a young teenager my mum threatened to jump out of the car into the highway, I was trying to deescalate this, it was so horrible, it was horrible and afterwards she told me not to talk about it or tell anyone. Fast word a few years later and I was watching a horror movie with me boyfriend at the time, and the mother shoots herself in the end… it was so upsetting to me that I cried for two hours and I told him and his parents about it, and even though I feel guilty about it, because I wasn’t supposed to… it was… traumatizing. I wonder if that gave me PTSD
Can breakups can be the reason for PTSD ???
I got separated from bootcamp for symptoms of anxiety and ptsd
I have ptsd towards friend ships and church.
Is random agitation and anger, problems socializing, anxiousness, worrying about things i cant control and angry about it, being very protective of family members, all signs? Or am I just a nutcase?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is becoming more commonplace in people for up to two years.
I've had 3 out of 4 if these as reoccurring problems for a number of years now for 2 completely separate things. Huh, maybe I should have brought that up when I had a therapist.
At the time we discussed it as anxiety, but maybe it was a bit more than that >->
The nightmares are real, and it doesn't always involve the specific details of the abuse, it's just recurrent, frightening dreams. One night it's abuse at the hands of my abuser, the next day Darth Vader is chasing me, for instance.