Telling people "just be yourself" and "go for what you want" is of course the right thing in an open, free society. It's what we should all be telling one another. All the time. BUT. The problem is that many of us don't know who we are - or what we want. And in our "open, free society", there are so many possibilities on offer. Especially in the US, people have endless scope to change their identities, alter their appearance, move from one place to another, adopt new views and creeds from one day to the next. Freedom isn't a simple way to live. It means contending every day with ambiguity. Choice. Variety. Fluidity.
In the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's we fought in the streets for you punks to have the freedoms you have today. Stop being frightened, stop being invisable and stand up for yourselves. If you fancy another guy, tell him so. Dont text him, walk up and start a convo. It wont hurt. Be proud of who you are.
So do you want a medal or something? Just like racism and sexism, and frankly so many other forms of discrimination, prejudice and persecution of the LGBTQ+ didn’t magically disappear. And the community itself, as disjointed as it actually is, is not helping itself as a whole. It’s ignorant comments like yours that only prove that.
So what, do you want a medal or something? Last time I checked, prejudice and persecution of LGBTQ+ members and allies, and plenty of other groups of people, are still happening. Pretty ignorant comment for you to make.
@solereflection9284 i think his point they did their part and they did it well. They successfully fought for basic rights and won. Younger people in our "community" took it for granted, got soft and complacent and now we are close to being back to square one
I totally get it what you're saying. there are so many thing I love and hate about the community. I agree you just have to remove yourself from the situations you don't like even when it feels like you need to be part of it because you are in the community.
A man's sexuality is his own business and he does not have too take part in the parades, it is all personal choice too be the stereo type or not too be the stereo type and just be a regular dude who likes dudes
Of course he doesn't have too. But this narrative that if you aren't closeted and don't either try to be striaght or celibate, then you're not a "regular dude", is the problem.
@Dave1Claudius No matter our differences, we do not pretend to be the same, but being united despite our differences is possible, I accept all Gays no matter how they are 🏳️🌈🧿✝️🌠
Seems like now day we have abandoned the idea that everyone is an individuals. People think labels are working this is obviously wrong… life is a spectrum and I think our fingerprints prove we are meant to be different and acknowledged for who we are and not what we do…
I love your conversational videos like these Jaks. It really helps me think about personal freedoms, choice, living life the best I can without being disrespecting others. Also you help put meaning behind the cliche phrases that have lost meaning ("just be yourself", "don't care what others think", etc. -- I'm always like Yesss, but HOW? 😂, So thank you for elaborating!)
Why does this have to be such a thing? I met my husband twenty five years ago - and married him after two days - all is well, all is well, and all manner of things will be well. With us, it’s like The Queen (no pun intended) and Prince Philip. When you know divorce is never an option, you make it work. It’s been wonderful for us! I wish you every blessing!
The problem is that 'the community' gatekeeps and blacklists people who do not agree with their main tenets. The best you can hope for is to find a sub-group which you align with the most.
@@francescocerasuolo4064 I didn't think i had to explain, but here goes. If you disagree with for example, puberty blockers for minors (which seems to be a common point of agreement for those in the lgbtqia+ community) you will find yourself excluded from certain groups, blocked from peoples' social media accts, made to feel unwelcome where previously you had been accepted etc. In other words, they are gatekeeping you from your own community because you dared to voice a contradictory opinion.
@reson8 lol the main tenets being that ga y people should have the right to exist in society like everyone else, live their lives, have families, and not be discriminated against in core areas like employment and housing? Yea that's so bad and cultish right?
What are your thoughts about ever having a romantic and/or sexual relationship? What other communities have you found, if any, that are more appealing or fill your sense of belonging to something?
The reason we are all different is because we are all just people. Our sexuality is not the only part of who we are. Yes it is the thing that we have in common but, we all have other opinions on every other aspect of life.
totally agree, I have been following u for many years now and I am always amazed at your insights on life, actually u have motivated me in many ways and I thank u for that. Sending blessings to u always with love. Richard.
Thanks for your thoughtful presentation and all the thoughtful comments it generated. You always seem to provide some balance for our community that really needs it. Please keep it up. I wish you were my neighbor!
I relate to this, but it turns out I'm autistic, undiagnosed until recently (in middle age), plus when I was younger I definitely had some internalized homophobia and femmephobia that I had to put effort into unlearning. I get the sense that a lot of younger queer people have that unlearning to do, and a surprisingly high proportion seem to be neurodivergent too.
I started following you at first because you talked about a lot of things that the community as a whole tends to ignore that is causing us harm. Then I later found your Twitter and Onlyfans. Kind of tired of finding guys like you who talk about the problems in our community on one platform, but contribute to the problem in others. Take this however you want to, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of sex symbols being our main representation, it's led us to the toxic environment where we are now. We are more than that.
Stop with the unneeded sex shaming people, it is 100% natural to express human sexuality and very silly to post that this is 'causing harm' You can be demi/ace or whatever -without- taking offense to those who have a different view of sexual expression and activity.
We can probably agree the problem isnt people making whatever life choices they prefer. The problem is not letting people built the life they like without being judgemental.
@@cjeff99 I feel like too much of this is throwing the baby out with the bathwater, sounds a little too much like what kids these days call "sigma". Like it or not humans are hardwired to be social animals, just learn to navigate and recognize behaviors that don't serve you.
"Brandon" needs to quit worrying about how other people "should" act. The way people should act is however the F they want to act. If ANYONE has a problem with the perceived way a certain group of people act or should act needs to take a long hard look in the mirror. Don't like what you see ? Change it.
Great video. I could not agree with you more. You are the captain of your own ship and it is your life. This decision is no different than all other decision you make in life.
We are all individuals, not a "community". No matter what age, race, or sexuality you are. And as individuals, we find those who are like minded to us to build relationships with. Not saying it will be easy. Or that it will even happen. But that's all we can do. Just do you, Brandon. And make yourself happy as best as you can. Good luck, buddy. Because we're all in the same boat. 😐
I am not trying to be an asshole here. But I have no idea why you deleted my comment. It is pessimistic, but optimistic in it's own way - and it reflects what a lot of other people think. You can do whatever you want, it's your channel - and I have been watching your videos for a while and do appreciate the effort you put in, but deleting things because they don't fit the narrative is not good. You can't whitewash your way into making things positive, you need to tackle reality too.
Choosing is the key word. I listen to people like you because you are substantial in your reflections and peaceful in showing a setting like today, this background that you are in and the fact that you do not put a track of techno music because it is not appropriate and would be a nuisance to understanding what you are saying. Well done presentation. I like it very much.
I have a bit of a different perspective on the community. First off, there's the mainstream community, which is very easy to leave, especially in recent times The general people are much greater in numbers is a lot less apparent, and many just have accepted themselves but just don't speak up on that publicly. It's not a requirement to be a certain way and follow the stereotypes the mainstream puts out (and let's be honest here - what the mainstream puts out isn't always a good look and doesn't always serve the community's best interests either)
Not to sound bad, but being queer is definitely, extremely difficult in life, especially if you live in tiny rural areas, I know, I've been there, lived it and currently living thru it right now, I get sick of it at times, life is what it is, I always try to think positive, On and on. 👌
I'll always be what I am. But I don't ever have to like it.. the problem is is just too much trouble. When I was younger because I'm quite old and 63 I was in the community for I don't know 3 or 4 years I basically felt that it was superficial and always was adhering to a kind of you had to behave and thinking certain way and it was just so rigid I felt that I didn't know there. I did make a mistake. But that was because I'm married a woman I just couldn't keep on with it because even though the sex was all right it wasn't hitting the spot it wasn't what I wanted. For me I've learned that I really don't need sex. I don't like the type of hookups I don't like the chances of even having a relationship because it's almost impossible. It seems like everyone is chasing masculinity and therefore they're chasing straight men. Then they do that until they're too old to do it. Then they're either sad and lonely and get a hookup from year to year or so or maybe they find a relationship but it's not very common. Say what you want to no matter what the outside world believes about us I still think it's a curse
@@patrickchoque7720 I know! Its ridiculous, I got a warning for asking a question on a roller coaster channel, no idea what I could possibly have said but I’m guessing it didn’t like a combination of words 🤷🏾♂️
@@TayWoode such a hard needle to thread my God TH-cam constantly deleting some of the most weird little things that apparently can't figure out how to work with and it's algorithms I just hope some of my stuff gets where it's supposed to go half the time but for some reason I seem to be problematic.
@@TayWoode it's a constant issue with me TH-cam is constantly got some kind of problem with the method that I speak I don't know what my problem is but their algorithm hates me
It makes total sense about it, it doesn´t meant he won´t still being homosexual and might became heterosexual, but just leaving out of the CULTURE associated with that which indeed happens to be very harmfull over time when not all people are matching their values and the common trend of getting off of the mainstream of other people instead of building better bonds and interactions or integration to it, tends to priorityze allienation and polarization of a minority against the whole bulk of all and well, set a way of being that works more harmfull at the end than doing a blending. So it´s something very nice to tell it as right
Sounds to me like 'Brandon' is easily influenced from external sources / media, and really does not have that strong a sense of self identity, life is difficult and complicated no matter the factors, especially for any marginalized person. I would say he should go to therapy, especially with a therapist that understands the extreme diversity of the LGBTQ+ 'community' and then build upon local connections and friends in order to build a true community. But also, Internalized homophobia and societal pressures are REAL and should always be addressed. Be you, whoever that is, and work on giving far less fcks about that other stuff, this is a strategy for success no matter what.
Sometimes you have to be the change and create the kind of social circle you are proud to be a part of. Otherwise, yes, everyone has the choice to forge their own path.
Nothing new under the sun, really. Since the creation, belonging to a minority has been hard emotionally and often physically too. And some have always hit a wall at some point when they hysterically proclaimed “I am no more!” and blah blah blah. Drama queens have always been, are and will be.
All I want to know is how you manage to spend all this time in the south of France. How do you earn a living? Do you have dual citizenship or are you on a tourist visa? How do you manage local taxes while you’re living and working there? Or are you just a trust fund baby and live off of that? I am genuinely interested and think you should do a video about it.
Telling people "just be yourself" and "go for what you want" is of course the right thing in an open, free society. It's what we should all be telling one another. All the time. BUT. The problem is that many of us don't know who we are - or what we want. And in our "open, free society", there are so many possibilities on offer. Especially in the US, people have endless scope to change their identities, alter their appearance, move from one place to another, adopt new views and creeds from one day to the next. Freedom isn't a simple way to live. It means contending every day with ambiguity. Choice. Variety. Fluidity.
In the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's we fought in the streets for you punks to have the freedoms you have today.
Stop being frightened, stop being invisable and stand up for yourselves.
If you fancy another guy, tell him so. Dont text him, walk up and start a convo. It wont hurt.
Be proud of who you are.
Absolutely, the early days was very challenging not to mention full of sacrifice and hardship! Very well stated.
So do you want a medal or something? Just like racism and sexism, and frankly so many other forms of discrimination, prejudice and persecution of the LGBTQ+ didn’t magically disappear. And the community itself, as disjointed as it actually is, is not helping itself as a whole. It’s ignorant comments like yours that only prove that.
So what, do you want a medal or something? Last time I checked, prejudice and persecution of LGBTQ+ members and allies, and plenty of other groups of people, are still happening. Pretty ignorant comment for you to make.
@solereflection9284 i think his point they did their part and they did it well. They successfully fought for basic rights and won. Younger people in our "community" took it for granted, got soft and complacent and now we are close to being back to square one
@@solereflection9284 Yeah mate, its your fault, im 70, I did my bit, now you do yours instead of complaining.
I totally get it what you're saying. there are so many thing I love and hate about the community. I agree you just have to remove yourself from the situations you don't like even when it feels like you need to be part of it because you are in the community.
A man's sexuality is his own business and he does not have too take part in the parades, it is all personal choice too be the stereo type or not too be the stereo type and just be a regular dude who likes dudes
Of course he doesn't have too. But this narrative that if you aren't closeted and don't either try to be striaght or celibate, then you're not a "regular dude", is the problem.
Huh?
@@ThomasGAinsworth Say that to straight men and women.
@@ThomasGAinsworth Tell that to conservatives
So true, but they expect even to unite and all have the same opinion then get nasty if you don’t.
The tolerant left as usual
Very well said, Jaks. You are amazing.
Lol. This guy is such BS.
I accept all Gays no matter how they are 🏳️🌈🧿✝️🌠
Not all gays are the same or except one another and never will. For our Conduct, Values, Standards don't align
@Dave1Claudius No matter our differences, we do not pretend to be the same, but being united despite our differences is possible, I accept all Gays no matter how they are 🏳️🌈🧿✝️🌠
Seems like now day we have abandoned the idea that everyone is an individuals. People think labels are working this is obviously wrong… life is a spectrum and I think our fingerprints prove we are meant to be different and acknowledged for who we are and not what we do…
I love your conversational videos like these Jaks.
It really helps me think about personal freedoms, choice, living life the best I can without being disrespecting others.
Also you help put meaning behind the cliche phrases that have lost meaning ("just be yourself", "don't care what others think", etc. -- I'm always like Yesss, but HOW? 😂, So thank you for elaborating!)
Is it possible for people to just be
I hope so
I don't think it'll ever be. Even in straight culture, for males in particular, it's all based around ga ys.
In a more perfect world perhaps…
In a social world? No.
Why does this have to be such a thing? I met my husband twenty five years ago - and married him after two days - all is well, all is well, and all manner of things will be well. With us, it’s like The Queen (no pun intended) and Prince Philip. When you know divorce is never an option, you make it work. It’s been wonderful for us! I wish you every blessing!
The problem is that 'the community' gatekeeps and blacklists people who do not agree with their main tenets. The best you can hope for is to find a sub-group which you align with the most.
Oh yes, it's the down thumbs and such.
@@reson8 False
Uhuhuh, and what is the gate keeping? What are you even talking about?
@@francescocerasuolo4064 I didn't think i had to explain, but here goes.
If you disagree with for example, puberty blockers for minors (which seems to be a common point of agreement for those in the lgbtqia+ community) you will find yourself excluded from certain groups, blocked from peoples' social media accts, made to feel unwelcome where previously you had been accepted etc. In other words, they are gatekeeping you from your own community because you dared to voice a contradictory opinion.
@reson8 lol the main tenets being that ga y people should have the right to exist in society like everyone else, live their lives, have families, and not be discriminated against in core areas like employment and housing? Yea that's so bad and cultish right?
yup, I left years ago. Didn't go back into the closet, just went celibate, stopped hanging around the community center, moved and went on with life
What are your thoughts about ever having a romantic and/or sexual relationship? What other communities have you found, if any, that are more appealing or fill your sense of belonging to something?
Ditto, for me, too.
Why did you go celibate?
What is going on here? Clearly, you are not about community.
@@pacificodelnorte6628 Do you know what celibate means? Because that's WHAT HE SAID.
The reason we are all different is because we are all just people. Our sexuality is not the only part of who we are. Yes it is the thing that we have in common but, we all have other opinions on every other aspect of life.
totally agree, I have been following u for many years now and I am always amazed at your insights on life, actually u have motivated me in many ways and I thank u for that. Sending blessings to u always with love. Richard.
Thanks for your thoughtful presentation and all the thoughtful comments it generated. You always seem to provide some balance for our community that really needs it. Please keep it up. I wish you were my neighbor!
Very Well Spoken & Deep/Thorough studied… Appreciate your Post here❗️😎 1st video of yours & this subject matter. CONGRATULATIONS to MANY Views…
I relate to this, but it turns out I'm autistic, undiagnosed until recently (in middle age), plus when I was younger I definitely had some internalized homophobia and femmephobia that I had to put effort into unlearning. I get the sense that a lot of younger queer people have that unlearning to do, and a surprisingly high proportion seem to be neurodivergent too.
I started following you at first because you talked about a lot of things that the community as a whole tends to ignore that is causing us harm.
Then I later found your Twitter and Onlyfans. Kind of tired of finding guys like you who talk about the problems in our community on one platform, but contribute to the problem in others.
Take this however you want to, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of sex symbols being our main representation, it's led us to the toxic environment where we are now. We are more than that.
Stop with the unneeded sex shaming people, it is 100% natural to express human sexuality and very silly to post that this is 'causing harm' You can be demi/ace or whatever -without- taking offense to those who have a different view of sexual expression and activity.
We can probably agree the problem isnt people making whatever life choices they prefer. The problem is not letting people built the life they like without being judgemental.
Left in 2019, it was the best thing i did. I no longer have headches. I focus on me so much more ☀️☀️☀️
Did the same in 2020 after the end of a 10 year relationship. Better mentally not dealing with any of that stuff
What does that mean for you though, just not identifying with the community or are you no longer dating?
@@cjeff99 I feel like too much of this is throwing the baby out with the bathwater, sounds a little too much like what kids these days call "sigma". Like it or not humans are hardwired to be social animals, just learn to navigate and recognize behaviors that don't serve you.
Narcissism is a disease.
@@Gee-xb7rt Yeah well humans can also live like hermits. Ever thought of that?
"Brandon" needs to quit worrying about how other people "should" act. The way people should act is however the F they want to act. If ANYONE has a problem with the perceived way a certain group of people act or should act needs to take a long hard look in the mirror. Don't like what you see ? Change it.
All of these kids are like this… yelling ab everyone else, while they are basically yelling in the mirror at their own selves
All of these kids are like this… yelling ab everyone else, while they are basically yelling in the mirror at their own selves
I love your pearls dude.
You'd love a pearl necklace wouldn't you?
@@YoBoyMarcus Yes I would!
Is wearing a pearl necklace a single to other gays than one is a bottom?
Laughing , Make him look like a weird clown!
Great video. I could not agree with you more. You are the captain of your own ship and it is your life. This decision is no different than all other decision you make in life.
Bizarre.
I will never leave it 🏳️🌈🧿✝️🌠
Course you won’t, they all think like you and hate anyone else with a different opinion
@JimmyTerryPWL I respect people with different opinion. I can disagree, but I do not hate people with different opinion.
@@dubon9999 false
@@JimmyTerryPWL True. I have not disrespected anyone.
We are all individuals, not a "community". No matter what age, race, or sexuality you are. And as individuals, we find those who are like minded to us to build relationships with. Not saying it will be easy. Or that it will even happen. But that's all we can do. Just do you, Brandon. And make yourself happy as best as you can. Good luck, buddy. Because we're all in the same boat. 😐
I am not trying to be an asshole here. But I have no idea why you deleted my comment. It is pessimistic, but optimistic in it's own way - and it reflects what a lot of other people think. You can do whatever you want, it's your channel - and I have been watching your videos for a while and do appreciate the effort you put in, but deleting things because they don't fit the narrative is not good. You can't whitewash your way into making things positive, you need to tackle reality too.
So what exactly did you say
What did you say?😊
What did you say? YT often deletes comments by itself for no apparent reason, espeically with longer comments.
YT uses an AI powered algorithm to manage comments. It's pretty random sometimes. Don't blame him
What is it you have to say
Choosing is the key word. I listen to people like you because you are substantial in your reflections and peaceful in showing a setting like today, this background that you are in and the fact that you do not put a track of techno music because it is not appropriate and would be a nuisance to understanding what you are saying. Well done presentation. I like it very much.
I hope you find what you want in life ❤️
I have a bit of a different perspective on the community.
First off, there's the mainstream community, which is very easy to leave, especially in recent times
The general people are much greater in numbers is a lot less apparent, and many just have accepted themselves but just don't speak up on that publicly.
It's not a requirement to be a certain way and follow the stereotypes the mainstream puts out (and let's be honest here - what the mainstream puts out isn't always a good look and doesn't always serve the community's best interests either)
No Joke, I had the same problem like Brandon. I work on me that one Day that I can accept me again.
Not to sound bad, but being queer is definitely, extremely difficult in life, especially if you live in tiny rural areas, I know, I've been there, lived it and currently living thru it right now, I get sick of it at times, life is what it is, I always try to think positive, On and on. 👌
I'll always be what I am. But I don't ever have to like it.. the problem is is just too much trouble. When I was younger because I'm quite old and 63 I was in the community for I don't know 3 or 4 years I basically felt that it was superficial and always was adhering to a kind of you had to behave and thinking certain way and it was just so rigid I felt that I didn't know there. I did make a mistake. But that was because I'm married a woman I just couldn't keep on with it because even though the sex was all right it wasn't hitting the spot it wasn't what I wanted. For me I've learned that I really don't need sex. I don't like the type of hookups I don't like the chances of even having a relationship because it's almost impossible. It seems like everyone is chasing masculinity and therefore they're chasing straight men. Then they do that until they're too old to do it. Then they're either sad and lonely and get a hookup from year to year or so or maybe they find a relationship but it's not very common. Say what you want to no matter what the outside world believes about us I still think it's a curse
It is not possible leave it cause you will always be what you are.
You choose who you associate with, so it's totally possible to leave.
@reson8 But not what you are.
@reson8 Never conservative
@@reson8 No
@@dubon9999you’re based, I love you.
This was not recorded five days ago unless Jaks is visiting the southern hemisphere.
STOP DELETING COMMENTS COWARDLY TH-cam!
Nanny Google is relentless.
It’s the algorithm
@@patrickchoque7720 I know! Its ridiculous, I got a warning for asking a question on a roller coaster channel, no idea what I could possibly have said but I’m guessing it didn’t like a combination of words 🤷🏾♂️
@@TayWoode such a hard needle to thread my God TH-cam constantly deleting some of the most weird little things that apparently can't figure out how to work with and it's algorithms I just hope some of my stuff gets where it's supposed to go half the time but for some reason I seem to be problematic.
@@TayWoode it's a constant issue with me TH-cam is constantly got some kind of problem with the method that I speak I don't know what my problem is but their algorithm hates me
On your way. ❤
It makes total sense about it, it doesn´t meant he won´t still being homosexual and might became heterosexual, but just leaving out of the CULTURE associated with that which indeed happens to be very harmfull over time when not all people are matching their values and the common trend of getting off of the mainstream of other people instead of building better bonds and interactions or integration to it, tends to priorityze allienation and polarization of a minority against the whole bulk of all and well, set a way of being that works more harmfull at the end than doing a blending. So it´s something very nice to tell it as right
Sounds to me like 'Brandon' is easily influenced from external sources / media, and really does not have that strong a sense of self identity, life is difficult and complicated no matter the factors, especially for any marginalized person. I would say he should go to therapy, especially with a therapist that understands the extreme diversity of the LGBTQ+ 'community' and then build upon local connections and friends in order to build a true community. But also, Internalized homophobia and societal pressures are REAL and should always be addressed. Be you, whoever that is, and work on giving far less fcks about that other stuff, this is a strategy for success no matter what.
Is it really summer in Canada this winter?
Sometimes you have to be the change and create the kind of social circle you are proud to be a part of. Otherwise, yes, everyone has the choice to forge their own path.
Great subject and reflections! I see your channel as a newer version option of gathering/community.
Gays together forever 🏳️🌈🧿✝️🌠
Nothing new under the sun, really. Since the creation, belonging to a minority has been hard emotionally and often physically too. And some have always hit a wall at some point when they hysterically proclaimed “I am no more!” and blah blah blah. Drama queens have always been, are and will be.
I love ur choice but variety is good weather ur with the lgbtq or not, I respect ur choice no matter what u do! U do u buddy!
All I want to know is how you manage to spend all this time in the south of France. How do you earn a living? Do you have dual citizenship or are you on a tourist visa? How do you manage local taxes while you’re living and working there? Or are you just a trust fund baby and live off of that? I am genuinely interested and think you should do a video about it.
Revolution.
I totally get this.
Still here
Still queer
…..but I’m not stupid
Well articulated🙏
I go to weekly meetings. It's not rude.
Why? So you can all sit in an echo chamber?
Doodoo hair, don’t care.
I understand what is being said
brandon should take a step back and start therapy
Why? What's wrong with him that needs fixing? If he feels like he doesn't belong in the cult, that's fine.
@reson8 Bye conservative
@@reson8 The conservative cult. Never.
@@reson8nobody takes you seriously
@@dubon9999 That's not the cult i'm referring to. What's got you so triggered?
Well put Jacks.
Ew.
❤🏳️🌈
Bye felicia!!!
We're diving head first into fascism and you're complaining about us?
WTF, man?
That's not what he's saying at all, where is this coming from?
@@zking2929what is he saying then??
How is that fascism? He's not saying that this is for everyone, just for him.