When I visited Florence I watched older ladies walking arm in arm, stopping at various shop windows to admire what was displayed - clothing, leather bags, housewares - and commenting on details, colors, textures. It seemed to me the same as being in a museum to admire the art. And none of these ladies was carrying a shopping bag!
Having moved to southern Italy nine months ago, I agree 100 percent that people here appreciate the simple things in life like sharing a meal with the people you love, taking a rest and enjoying a good chat. It's really wonderful.
Here's a fun anecdote about Rome. I was privileged to live and work there for two years. My colleague, Martha, was a shy and very tall beauty. She was learning Italian and wanted to buy basil. She walked into her neighborhood green grocer and said "Buon giorno. Vorrei comprare una basilica." The owner politely said "Non vendiamo basilicas, pero abbiamo questo buon basilico." Martha was embarrassed and said she could never return there. I told her it should be her favorite store and they would keep the very best basil on hand for her. Just a tiny touch of the wonder and fun of Italy.
Very funny. Italy is my favourite place to be. Every times l am there l feel in heaven, because it’s exactly like this - beauty, and effortlessness, romance and recognition of everything beautiful. These things are in Italians blood, as they are surrounded by ancient and modern Beauty. In every Italian place my favourite passing time is just sitting in a piazza and doing people watching, and the night time the passeggiata. Thank you. I agree with every word you said. It’s always nice to meet like minded people. 🌺🌏🦘
I lived in Italy and yes this is true about Italian men- they really know how to genuinely compliment women without being creepy. I lived in many countries and only Italians men have mastered this art. It made me feel good when stranger men in Italy would compliment me, which in the US would make me feel very uncomfortable and at a few times unsafe.
I live in Italy. Men do this as long as you're quite young and beautiful. And they always see you as an object, they are not interested in women as persons. Italian men are extreme maschilisti. The moment you're a little older and less juicy, you become completely invisible.
I agree. I stayed in Italy for a few weeks in my early 20's, and had a similar experience. The compliments I received from Italian men walking down the street, just passing by, felt nice. They had no expectation of ever seeing me again, and they kept walking after giving the compliment so it felt like a genuine appreciation, not creepy or rude. I love Italy!
Oh, I definitely agree that if I’m happy with how I look it doesn’t matter one iota what others think. Age has brought me such a wonderful sense of confidence. To be content is freeing.
Agree. You can't please everyone with how you dress. As long as you are happy with how you look and dress, that is all that matters. Most normal people will make an effort to look clean and presentable. After that it is personal taste.
I’m in Milan right now to photograph street style during fashion week (and spend some time in one of my favorite places), and I TOTALLY embrace all of your rules/ideas, Alyssa. You have a wonderful way of processing what you see and how it makes sense to you. I too am enormously inspired by what I see around me here, and I must say that even in the north of Italy, people are so so friendly here - in cafes, on the metro, asking for directions when I’m lost. I just lost an 81-year-old Milanese friend who would walk around all day and have conversations with all kinds of people she encountered: at markets, on the street, in cafes. I learned that that is a wonderful way to live. You can be in a city and still feel a part of the lives here. I hope that makes sense. Socializing is so important, as is appreciating and creating beauty around us. Thank you for your video, bella! :)
Alyssa, you speak with wisdom beyond your years. Some of us come to those insights late in life, but once we do, there's so much more joy that we can experience in many areas of our lives by simply understanding that beauty and self confidence come from within, and that others will respond positively when we express that, be it in fashion or frienship or appreciation of others. As a fellow Canadian, you represent us well I might add. You combine friendliness and compassion in an unobtrusive and subdued way, which makes your videos so pleasant to watch, and which is why I have been such a long-time follower. I have learned so much about style from you, and my self-confidence in my personal style has never been stronger. Thank you. Keep sharing your insights. I appreciate them.
After going to Itlay, I read the book " Bella Figura: How to Live, Love and Eat the Italian Way" by Kamin Mohammadi. It is a wonderful little book that I absolutely loved because it described exactly what you are talking about in rule #1...how to make everything in your life beautiful. Thank you for reminding me to do so!
I have a modest walk in closet but still have artwork high up on the walls and an antique coat rack and handmade (by my dad decades ago!) trunk used for storage instead of bland Ikea storage. Love to walk in and just look in my closet after I tidy it!
Lol, not caring if you don’t think their coffee is great or not or if going to other establishment or not , is called gratefulness and being positive, so they believe they are good therefore they are good. These are important lessons that we’ve taken for granted especially in N.A. I have a personal story here in Canada, I used to work in an Italian restaurant while in university. Mario the owner was like a father to me , one day I had a crazy costumer who complained about our great pizza so I went to Mario that he’s crazy ;) then Mario came out and said, pls leave cause you’re not well otherwise wouldn’t complain about our pizza! The guy apologized and finished all his pizza. Mario told him , don’t bother my daughter anymore ❤️
The Italian colors dress at 6:03 is amazing. Lovely to admire, no need to possess. I love the Italian pace of life--passeggiatas, gelato, sole e mare, beautiful implements for every part of the day. Barolo, Amarone, vino rosso della casa, etc. Watching a glorious sunset with a glass of red wine in hand is my idea of Heaven. Glad you have been restored and rejuvenated and reminded that la vita è veramente bella.
It's pretty much like this in France, where I'm from, and in Greece, where I live. Appreciating beautiful surroundings, enjoying the moment even if it's a short break from work, appreciating other people during our day, dressing nicely anywhere we go and even at home or for a short errand, simply and effortlessly because it's how most of us were brought up, traditionally. I feel at home in Italy and Spain too, for the same reasons.
Never been to Italy, definitely a goal. I’m 61 , I’m pretty fit, long silver &grey hair and I have gotten more compliments since forever ? I was actually confused. I do agree, confidence is the key. I am who I am, love my age, and love the way I dress. Thank you for this video ! Kudos ❤️
I just got back to the northeast of the US after three weeks in Portugal and Spain and your #1 tip resonates: In a sea of grey functionality, include details to make everything beautiful… ❤
I just saw a Ralph Lauren Spring /Summer 2024 show that styled a square scarf folded in half worn at the waist with the point of scarf off to one side. Worn with wide leg pants and a button up top. It made me think of you!
Thanks for another excellent, thoughtful video, Alyssa. The idea of trying to make everything beautiful especially resonates with me as I'm a bit of a neat freak (Virgo here...) and sometimes I'm so focused on tidying everything away that surroundings become all about spare functionality and I forget that often it's the scarf hanging on the back of the chair or the pile of books on the coffee table that makes my spaces beautiful and personal. And on another note, kudos on your confidence eating a huge chocolate ice cream in a white shirt - now that's style! :)
I have recently turned another year older “31”! And my life, style and size has changed a bit in the past few years, but it’s hard for me to change! You have gave me some new ways to think of my closet and fall in love with it again! ❤
Regarding the male comments... I always give a big heartfelt smile to anyone, male or female, who is well put together, or creatively dressed or whatever. I guess it's the female equivalent of the wolf whistle :) Simply an appreciation of anyone who brings a bit of beauty or fun into the world.
@Chahlie Yes 👏 I find the older I get, the more I'm inclined to do this. Compliment someone on their great shoes, happy outfit, fab hairdo etc. I've had joyful conversations with perfect strangers in this way. I guess we all like to be noticed, to be SEEN!
Me too. I make sure it’s authentic, but I like to give a compliment- “I like your glasses, your ink, your top, your earrings, etc”. It takes no time but brings a sliver of joy into the moment and we both feel good at the end of the conversation.
Your point on appreciation vs possession, Brava! I do this a lot. I appreciate the design of a garment, color, the construction. I sometimes share my love for the item (which can be a household item, purse anything really) my husband gets nervous because he thinks I want to buy it. I often have to explain that I'm just appreciating the design and art of the item. I'm glad you included this in your video.
I think that you are absolutely right. When you bring love to everything you do, it creates beauty. If that is getting dressed, eating Pasta or out in Nature. There is beauty every where.
Grazie for this video! I visited Italy last month and already miss it terribly! I can relate your message to my trip. Italians are darling, and I enjoyed their compliments. I agree it is sad that women become angry and defensive when a gentleman compliments them on their appearance. I dress up for myself and want to look my best for everybody, whether my family, close friend, a person I haven’t seen for years, or someone I will just come across. Have a safe trip back! ❤️
I live in Ireland and I love to go to Italy, France or Spain on my holidays. Why is that? Because in these countries you see beauty everywhere. They have such a refined style in everything, in arts, architecture, clothing, food, perfume, everywhere you look it is beauty. I don't know what triggered that, for centuries, it cannot be weather because other countries have warm climate, but indeed there are lessons to be learned from them. Incredibly creative people!!!
I loved this video and agreed with all your " non-rules/suggestions.". I particularly love comment number one - to add beauty . I believe that beauty is its own reason for existing and the idea that we are not only part of this beauty but can add to it - that is just joyful in the extreme! Thank you very much Alyssa.
I felt that way visiting Italy too. It's a very special place. The key is bringing that feeling back to my space and life in the U.S. I can't wait to go back to Italy again. Next trip is France 😊
A joyful message Alyssa to slow down and enjoy life and what you have - whether it be food , fashion or your surroundings . Every area in the world seems to have its own " speed" of life. Love the slowed down side of life where you take time to appreciate everything. Enjoy all your videos but this one especially hit the mark for me. Thank you.
Such a meaningful message here Alyssa. I was so happy you were flattered by the comments as you passed by those Italian gentlemen. Women compliment other women and yet to have a man make such an innocent comment is so often frowned upon these days. Soon I am to undergo a bilateral mastectomy, after completing almost 5 months of chemotherapy for aggressive breast cancer. I was diagnosed 6 weeks ago. I have opted for no reconstruction, I am petite but with a large bust (I had considered a reduction previous to this occuring). I am a registered nurse fully understand what is happening and am very comfortable with my decision. I am shocked at how many women have made negative comments on me opting for no more boobs. One even said "but that's what makes you a woman." 🙄 Oh my goodness, boobs or not, I will still be a woman! I intend to explore how to dress a completely flat chest, any tips? No shopping, but maybe altering some of what I already have in my wardrobe 💝
I hope your surgery goes well and you're returned to good health. Your attitude sounds perfect. Dress with confidence in colors you love and carry yourself with pride. You're putting your health at the top of your priorities.
Good Luck with your surgery and further recovery. Increasingly women are choosing not to go the reconstruction route and embracing the bodies they have. I have scars from my Covid journey that left me in ICU for over 7 months with multiple chest drains, a trache and central lines amongst other things. I’ve since had a thoracotomy. 3 years on and I have such tenderness for my scars as a visual reminder of my mind/body/spirit connection. If you need inspiration, look out for the Isolation Journals by Sukeika Jaouad
This may sound strange but there is a TH-cam channel by someone who calls himself 'River' (River Royal). He is interesting, but more to the point he dresses very fashionably and creatively in women's clothes and looks great with no bust enhancement. I think we have gotten past the Pam Anderson days. I say embrace it with flowy fun garments and sleek suits. Enjoy the opportunity to wear things you couldn't have before :)
Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I am sending healing vibes and good thoughts for your surgery! As for dressing - I think it depends how you will feel about your new décolleté… you can wear super deep v necks and if you feel like it could be fun to grab some lacy camis and wear them under shirts … it really depends on your style but wearing what makes you feel good is always number 1
Alyssa this video made me cry. The last point about finding joy in your everyday and mundane things is so important and we tend to forget that so often. Thank you for the reminder ❤
Love this video, I do miss the European way of life sometimes, I find that North America, tends to focus on fast fashion, fast food and we forget about the little pleasures that time such as making a simple meal and looking after our belongings - lovely video :)
I too love to get compliments because it makes you feel absolutely great and after all that’s what we all want to happen to you whether it’s from a female or male.especially as I’ve just turn 66
As a woman over 50, (who is, if I do say so myself, pretty decent looking -- according to stereotypical beauty standards, other than I do not color my hair and it's a stunning platinum), I can say that those verbal appreciations have stopped. Ageism vis a vis "beauty" is real, even in Italy, thought perhaps it's worse in America and maybe Canada. It's unfortunate, imo.
I love Italian men because they especially appreciate the more mature (>40) woman. Not sure if they mean it but at 59 yo, you take complements where and when you can get them!😂
I so agree, as a women in her 60’s, getting a “ complementi” when I’ve dressed for dinner makes me feel appreciated for the effort! Love Italy for this appreciation for someone who looks stylish.
Brava Alyssa! I love your 4 Italian style rules - leading me to a higher level of understanding and embracing the true beauty in classic fashion and life... Grazie di cuore💝
We are native Californians and moved to Rome for a few years with our 4 kids. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. It truly is la bella vida. We are moving back soon. Too hard to live in the US after living there!
Wow, moving back to Rome for longer? We are native Californians too (with 5 young kids), and just enjoyed our first week in Rome a few weeks ago, loved it! It was a bit too hot for us though. 😂 but can’t wait to visit again in the future during cooler times!
Hi Alyssa. Italy is my favorite country and I am so glad I had the lucky chance of spending 12 yrs there, working and living all over the country. As a Scandinavian, Italy and Italians are more colorful, more open, and have a bubblier temperament than us Northerners. While listening to you a few minutes ago, I was a bit surprised you mentioned men now and then saying: " Che bella" or " Ciao amore". You also said they did it discreetly. So why get upset or feel as if they should not do it? It is a compliment. We women ought to feel upset only when there no longer are such remarks. Those are words, no touching, no following, and certainly nothing dangerous. In most central and northern European countries men do not say such things. What is more depressing than perhaps trying to look one´s best, go out to dinner or theater and no one even hints you look better than normally? This is, how I see and feel it. All the best.
I try to think of these things every day when I choose what I’m wearing: own what I wear and as I’m being effortless by owning what I wear, my whole projection is different, more welcoming more organic. I also working hard to find my three words, to be able to decluttering my closet. Thank you for sharing these ideas
I just came from back from Sardinia & French Riviera trip and was surprised how women were dressed so nicely without flashing designer logos everywhere (as opposed to Chicago where I live, where there is a lot of pressure to own designer pieces here). I am originally from South-Eastern Europe and sometimes I forget how effortlessly people live in some parts of Europe. Love all the points that you made. I miss compliments from men which was normal in my home country, but it’s not existent here. It makes me feel invisible as women. Of course talking just about small admiration and appreciation of woman’s beauty and not unwanted and pushy “compliments”.
I love your travels and that you show the beauty all around you , I will never get to go but I can imagine myself there , I’m happy your ok with people able to compliment , I’m sad that people get offended , and now people don’t even acknowledge that there are people around . I miss those days , I am learning to love my clothes thanks for sharing .
Finally. A bit of Alyssa time! What a beautiful video - Italy looks so very breathtaking! So glad you have had such a great time! Safe travels home to Cda. Xo Joanne
Rule #3 hit me hard! As someone who LOVES vintage clothing, I find so many cool, and interesting treasures and most of the time, I want to buy them / own them because… 1. I feel obligated to “rescue” them otherwise they will end up “wasted”… 2. FOMO 3. Because of the “fantasy self” syndrome. I have to constantly remind myself that if it isn’t my style or taste, I’m not going to end up wearing it so why waste money and space in my closet…?
I understand what you are trying to say about complementing other people. When I moved to US from Eastern Europe the fist things I noticed and that people were not complementing other people . I assumed they were trying to be politically correct. But appreciating another person style is beautiful if done correctly. I guess when there is not a culture to do so appropriately then people afraid to make an offensive remarks and do not complement at all. ❤ It was very very noticeable to me in us.
Great video! Being from Italy myself, I grew up with the idea of making everything beautiful, stylish, and elegant. This is so innate to Italian culture that it comes naturally and effortlessly. It’s sad that we’ve reached a point in this country in which everyone is obsessed with being beautiful (but trying too hard and seeming self-conscious about it) and, at the same time, being offended when someone actually appreciates their beauty and expresses that appreciation. Being called beautiful is not an assault, it’s an affirmation. Very sad that people (especially women) no longer know the difference … so glad that I’m Italian.
Love it! So easy to get caught in the hussle and bussle of everyday life. Yet taking the time to bring beauty to our lives is so worth it. Thank you for the reminder.
I really resonated with appreciation versus possession. As I buy mostly all of my clothes second hand I often come across something that is great fibres or really cool vintage or a brand I search for and sometime just the thrill of that find is enough to appreciate it.. it doesn’t have to come home with me if it is not my style and going to fit into the wardrobe I am trying to curate. Like the other day I found these Celine wool pants with the triomphe symbol on them but they were too badly damaged beyond repair so I just appreciated seeing that garment in person and left it in the store.
Alyssa this was perfect!! Loved the birds! Thank you for a beautiful vlog. The scenery was stunning and the content was fun and inspiring. Enjoy your last few days in Italy ❤️.
I think you are so right saying that we can appreciate garments without buying them. This is so smart! I have a problem with compulsive shopping and it’s difficult for me to walk away from something that I really like in the store. So many times I end up buying something that wasn’t me. I have to remember that I can appreciate without buying. It sounds like I’m an shopaholic 😂 also I like the part about socializing… I’m guilty of thinking too much about what I’m going to wear instead of just having fun with friends…
I really know this problem! Stopp feeling guilty for anything you do or feel! That doesn't help at all!! Have fun getting dressed each day with what you already have! Thats the way out of this problem! Make it a challenge for you to create as much as different outfits with one special garment for example. Or try to wear really ALL your peaces you have (one after the other)... These were and are the things that helped me. I still think a lot about getting dressed and all these things, but now I don't buy any more (or MUCH less), but I have fun with my own wardrobe. Try it!
Very enjoyable! My husband used to be a bit annoyed when I wanted to enjoy fabulous boutiques and jewellery shops and now I realise that I should have made clear to him I was just enjoying the items on show and didn’t want to buy everything I saw! You are quite right about just enjoying the items on display! 😁❤
Italy is so beautiful. I love what you said about not having to buy everything you see and love. I am still working on that. Great video. I love having my Sunday morning coffee while watching your latest video.
Well, I had italian men yelling sexy…. and other way worse things at me in the streets. They would block my way as I was walking and their hands would be all over me unless I defended myself. Now for me a compliment is something else. So I think there is a point when a compliment becomes something rude that is really hard to be comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong I loove Italy and many men are very polite and can compliment you in a very nice way! So it depends on as well.
I completely agree with your last point. There is this archetype of a strong resilient Italian woman who can withstand the male gaze. I am thinking of Monica Bellucci in Malena. Also, there is a great scene in l'Avventura (one of my favorite films) where Monica Vitti walks in a southern Italian city, and the men are whistling at her.
I'm Italian and I love your videos, especially these, because you show me with different eyes the beauty that surrounds me. Thank you very much, it's so nice to see a person in love with something where you're part of it too. ❤❤❤
Yes.. lets appreciate being appreciated💯💕.. great reminder also to me i can appreciate something without needing to purchase. Thanks Alyssa.. i love bird song 🐦🐦
This was delightful. I really enjoy when you talk to us and roll lovely B footage of whatever you've been up to (I mean particularly in Italy but in general you have a great eye for appreciating beauty and little moments so it's always welcome no matter where you are filming!).
LOL I did not expect the connection between friendly Italian men and the idea that we can appreciate beautiful things without taking them home. Very clever, and very true.
Love ❤ this so much!! It’s about being comfortable in ourselves and happy with ourselves on the inside. And taking time slowing down, enjoying others and ourselves. Thank you! Bellisima! 🎉
Hi, love from India. I’m at a point where you seemed to speak right to me; addressing my concerns directly! And there’s so much food for thought that it’s going to take me ages to chew on everything and reply. Thank you, and keep up the beautiful work.
#4 so True! There have been days that I have fussed with myself and wasn't completely happy with the outcome - and then there are days when I didnt fuss because I was just running errands and I would catch myself in the hall mirror before I left and think - wow I look so relaxed and effortless. Even my face looked better - perhaps just because of the lack of stress to look my best - I did look my best! Caio Bella!
This was a great reminder. I am going to a concert tonight. I normally don't check what to wear to this artist's concert. I'm anxious because I've gained weight and I am older. My 3 words are modern-classic, creative, and comfortable. I need to be myself. Thanks❤
I love how complimentary men are in Italy. I never overthought it or thought in a way about it all in terms of harassment. I love their culture and I agree with you in terms of happiness, feeling comfortable with one's self and living life in a relaxed way----not overthinking everything. I wish I lived there sometimes
I think the lesson of learning to appreciate something without buying is sooo important! I’ve fallen victim in the past and often it made my closet feel much more disjointed than cohesive because I was buying anything that caught my eye rather than thinking critically about how, or even if, I could incorporate it into my wardrobe.
8:40 thank you for talking about this. I love the joy of beauty and food in Italy. I have been watching street style of Milan videos and it brings a smile to my face to see gorgeous fabrics and colors and sensuous styles. Yes, yes, yes, let’s express who We are.
"We're what makes the outfit beautiful" thank you !! There is something healing in that statement. ❤❤❤
When I visited Florence I watched older ladies walking arm in arm, stopping at various shop windows to admire what was displayed - clothing, leather bags, housewares - and commenting on details, colors, textures. It seemed to me the same as being in a museum to admire the art. And none of these ladies was carrying a shopping bag!
i love the reminder that we don't have to own everything we find beautiful. We can just appreciate it and move on.
So very true
I def need to learn that.
Whether than is women or clothes. Great lesson.
Yes I need to learn that too!
Self control. @@shainesunny
1. Make everything beautiful!
2. Make things effortless.
3. Appreciate vs Possession.
4.. Romanticize getting dressed .
Having moved to southern Italy nine months ago, I agree 100 percent that people here appreciate the simple things in life like sharing a meal with the people you love, taking a rest and enjoying a good chat. It's really wonderful.
I’m envious!
Here's a fun anecdote about Rome. I was privileged to live and work there for two years. My colleague, Martha, was a shy and very tall beauty. She was learning Italian and wanted to buy basil. She walked into her neighborhood green grocer and said "Buon giorno. Vorrei comprare una basilica." The owner politely said "Non vendiamo basilicas, pero abbiamo questo buon basilico." Martha was embarrassed and said she could never return there. I told her it should be her favorite store and they would keep the very best basil on hand for her. Just a tiny touch of the wonder and fun of Italy.
She wanted to buy a Church 😂
😂😂😂😂
Very funny. Italy is my favourite place to be. Every times l am there l feel in heaven, because it’s exactly like this - beauty, and effortlessness, romance and recognition of everything beautiful. These things are in Italians blood, as they are surrounded by ancient and modern Beauty. In every Italian place my favourite passing time is just sitting in a piazza and doing people watching, and the night time the passeggiata. Thank you. I agree with every word you said. It’s always nice to meet like minded people. 🌺🌏🦘
It was a way of connecting and correcting in a gentle way. Cute anecdote!
You want us to google translate all that?
I lived in Italy and yes this is true about Italian men- they really know how to genuinely compliment women without being creepy. I lived in many countries and only Italians men have mastered this art. It made me feel good when stranger men in Italy would compliment me, which in the US would make me feel very uncomfortable and at a few times unsafe.
I live in Italy. Men do this as long as you're quite young and beautiful. And they always see you as an object, they are not interested in women as persons. Italian men are extreme maschilisti. The moment you're a little older and less juicy, you become completely invisible.
Because Italian men are true to themselves, they mean it, when they compliment, when they don’t they will look the other way.
I agree. I stayed in Italy for a few weeks in my early 20's, and had a similar experience. The compliments I received from Italian men walking down the street, just passing by, felt nice. They had no expectation of ever seeing me again, and they kept walking after giving the compliment so it felt like a genuine appreciation, not creepy or rude. I love Italy!
Omar Sharif v. HBO Entourage-type guys ;)
Oh, I definitely agree that if I’m happy with how I look it doesn’t matter one iota what others think. Age has brought me such a wonderful sense of confidence. To be content is freeing.
Agree. You can't please everyone with how you dress. As long as you are happy with how you look and dress, that is all that matters. Most normal people will make an effort to look clean and presentable. After that it is personal taste.
Happiness is decision we make deep inside ourselves and it should not depend on anything external...... ( if you want real happiness ).
I’m in Milan right now to photograph street style during fashion week (and spend some time in one of my favorite places), and I TOTALLY embrace all of your rules/ideas, Alyssa. You have a wonderful way of processing what you see and how it makes sense to you. I too am enormously inspired by what I see around me here, and I must say that even in the north of Italy, people are so so friendly here - in cafes, on the metro, asking for directions when I’m lost. I just lost an 81-year-old Milanese friend who would walk around all day and have conversations with all kinds of people she encountered: at markets, on the street, in cafes. I learned that that is a wonderful way to live. You can be in a city and still feel a part of the lives here. I hope that makes sense. Socializing is so important, as is appreciating and creating beauty around us. Thank you for your video, bella! :)
Alyssa, you speak with wisdom beyond your years. Some of us come to those insights late in life, but once we do, there's so much more joy that we can experience in many areas of our lives by simply understanding that beauty and self confidence come from within, and that others will respond positively when we express that, be it in fashion or frienship or appreciation of others. As a fellow Canadian, you represent us well I might add. You combine friendliness and compassion in an unobtrusive and subdued way, which makes your videos so pleasant to watch, and which is why I have been such a long-time follower. I have learned so much about style from you, and my self-confidence in my personal style has never been stronger. Thank you. Keep sharing your insights. I appreciate them.
thank you so much for this kind comment i take it to heart!
After going to Itlay, I read the book " Bella Figura: How to Live, Love and Eat the Italian Way" by Kamin Mohammadi. It is a wonderful little book that I absolutely loved because it described exactly what you are talking about in rule #1...how to make everything in your life beautiful. Thank you for reminding me to do so!
I have a modest walk in closet but still have artwork high up on the walls and an antique coat rack and handmade (by my dad decades ago!) trunk used for storage instead of bland Ikea storage. Love to walk in and just look in my closet after I tidy it!
Nice
Great suggestion! I’m going to work on that!
Lol, not caring if you don’t think their coffee is great or not or if going to other establishment or not , is called gratefulness and being positive, so they believe they are good therefore they are good. These are important lessons that we’ve taken for granted especially in N.A. I have a personal story here in Canada, I used to work in an Italian restaurant while in university. Mario the owner was like a father to me , one day I had a crazy costumer who complained about our great pizza so I went to Mario that he’s crazy ;) then Mario came out and said, pls leave cause you’re not well otherwise wouldn’t complain about our pizza! The guy apologized and finished all his pizza. Mario told him , don’t bother my daughter anymore ❤️
The Italian colors dress at 6:03 is amazing. Lovely to admire, no need to possess. I love the Italian pace of life--passeggiatas, gelato, sole e mare, beautiful implements for every part of the day. Barolo, Amarone, vino rosso della casa, etc. Watching a glorious sunset with a glass of red wine in hand is my idea of Heaven. Glad you have been restored and rejuvenated and reminded that la vita è veramente bella.
Great Video!! The BEST video I have watched in years!!!! Your words really resonated with me today!!! Thank You for your time!!🌻
It's pretty much like this in France, where I'm from, and in Greece, where I live. Appreciating beautiful surroundings, enjoying the moment even if it's a short break from work, appreciating other people during our day, dressing nicely anywhere we go and even at home or for a short errand, simply and effortlessly because it's how most of us were brought up, traditionally. I feel at home in Italy and Spain too, for the same reasons.
Yes there is so much similarity between Italian and French social structure and cultural habits. North shores of the Mediterranean
Never been to Italy, definitely a goal. I’m 61 , I’m pretty fit, long silver &grey hair and I have gotten more compliments since forever ? I was actually confused. I do agree, confidence is the key. I am who I am, love my age, and love the way I dress. Thank you for this video ! Kudos ❤️
Yes. Finding beauty in everything we do is what makes our lives content. Your messages are so inspiring.
I just got back to the northeast of the US after three weeks in Portugal and Spain and your #1 tip resonates: In a sea of grey functionality, include details to make everything beautiful… ❤
I just saw a Ralph Lauren Spring /Summer 2024 show that styled a square scarf folded in half worn at the waist with the point of scarf off to one side. Worn with wide leg pants and a button up top. It made me think of you!
Thanks for another excellent, thoughtful video, Alyssa. The idea of trying to make everything beautiful especially resonates with me as I'm a bit of a neat freak (Virgo here...) and sometimes I'm so focused on tidying everything away that surroundings become all about spare functionality and I forget that often it's the scarf hanging on the back of the chair or the pile of books on the coffee table that makes my spaces beautiful and personal. And on another note, kudos on your confidence eating a huge chocolate ice cream in a white shirt - now that's style! :)
I have recently turned another year older “31”! And my life, style and size has changed a bit in the past few years, but it’s hard for me to change! You have gave me some new ways to think of my closet and fall in love with it again! ❤
Regarding the male comments... I always give a big heartfelt smile to anyone, male or female, who is well put together, or creatively dressed or whatever. I guess it's the female equivalent of the wolf whistle :) Simply an appreciation of anyone who brings a bit of beauty or fun into the world.
@Chahlie Yes 👏 I find the older I get, the more I'm inclined to do this. Compliment someone on their great shoes, happy outfit, fab hairdo etc. I've had joyful conversations with perfect strangers in this way. I guess we all like to be noticed, to be SEEN!
Me too. I make sure it’s authentic, but I like to give a compliment- “I like your glasses, your ink, your top, your earrings, etc”. It takes no time but brings a sliver of joy into the moment and we both feel good at the end of the conversation.
The 1:35 white long sleeve front tie blouse was beautiful ❤
I love the section where the birds were having a party!! 🎉 Thank you letting the birds sounds be part of your video!! 😊
Loved that 😊!
Your point on appreciation vs possession, Brava! I do this a lot. I appreciate the design of a garment, color, the construction. I sometimes share my love for the item (which can be a household item, purse anything really) my husband gets nervous because he thinks I want to buy it. I often have to explain that I'm just appreciating the design and art of the item. I'm glad you included this in your video.
I have to remind my husband just because I like something does not need I want it!
You are spot on: the beauty is you. Simplicity. Forget about perfection. Slowing down and bring appreciative.
I think that you are absolutely right. When you bring love to everything you do, it creates beauty.
If that is getting dressed, eating Pasta or out in Nature. There is beauty every where.
Grazie for this video! I visited Italy last month and already miss it terribly! I can relate your message to my trip. Italians are darling, and I enjoyed their compliments. I agree it is sad that women become angry and defensive when a gentleman compliments them on their appearance. I dress up for myself and want to look my best for everybody, whether my family, close friend, a person I haven’t seen for years, or someone I will just come across. Have a safe trip back! ❤️
I live in Ireland and I love to go to Italy, France or Spain on my holidays. Why is that? Because in these countries you see beauty everywhere. They have such a refined style in everything, in arts, architecture, clothing, food, perfume, everywhere you look it is beauty. I don't know what triggered that, for centuries, it cannot be weather because other countries have warm climate, but indeed there are lessons to be learned from them. Incredibly creative people!!!
I loved this video and agreed with all your " non-rules/suggestions.".
I particularly love comment number one - to add beauty . I believe that beauty is its own reason for existing and the idea that we are not only part of this beauty but can add to it - that is just joyful in the extreme! Thank you very much Alyssa.
Might be your best video yet.
Beauty should be appreciated for the warmth, love, happiness and softness it inspires in ones mind.
Great job mate.
I love the idea of being able to be in the moment and appreciate beautiful things without having to own them. So lovely.
I love South Italy and I will travel there soon. Again. And hopefully again and again 🙂 I do love the Italian way of giving and receiving compliments.
I felt that way visiting Italy too. It's a very special place. The key is bringing that feeling back to my space and life in the U.S. I can't wait to go back to Italy again. Next trip is France 😊
A joyful message Alyssa to slow down and enjoy life and what you have - whether it be food , fashion or your surroundings . Every area in the world seems to have its own " speed" of life. Love the slowed down side of life where you take time to appreciate everything. Enjoy all your videos but this one especially hit the mark for me. Thank you.
Such a meaningful message here Alyssa. I was so happy you were flattered by the comments as you passed by those Italian gentlemen. Women compliment other women and yet to have a man make such an innocent comment is so often frowned upon these days. Soon I am to undergo a bilateral mastectomy, after completing almost 5 months of chemotherapy for aggressive breast cancer. I was diagnosed 6 weeks ago. I have opted for no reconstruction, I am petite but with a large bust (I had considered a reduction previous to this occuring). I am a registered nurse fully understand what is happening and am very comfortable with my decision. I am shocked at how many women have made negative comments on me opting for no more boobs. One even said "but that's what makes you a woman." 🙄 Oh my goodness, boobs or not, I will still be a woman! I intend to explore how to dress a completely flat chest, any tips? No shopping, but maybe altering some of what I already have in my wardrobe 💝
I hope your surgery goes well and you're returned to good health. Your attitude sounds perfect. Dress with confidence in colors you love and carry yourself with pride. You're putting your health at the top of your priorities.
Good Luck with your surgery and further recovery. Increasingly women are choosing not to go the reconstruction route and embracing the bodies they have. I have scars from my Covid journey that left me in ICU for over 7 months with multiple chest drains, a trache and central lines amongst other things. I’ve since had a thoracotomy. 3 years on and I have such tenderness for my scars as a visual reminder of my mind/body/spirit connection. If you need inspiration, look out for the Isolation Journals by Sukeika Jaouad
@@cltinturkey Thank you 😊
This may sound strange but there is a TH-cam channel by someone who calls himself 'River' (River Royal). He is interesting, but more to the point he dresses very fashionably and creatively in women's clothes and looks great with no bust enhancement. I think we have gotten past the Pam Anderson days. I say embrace it with flowy fun garments and sleek suits. Enjoy the opportunity to wear things you couldn't have before :)
Thank you so much for sharing ❤ I am sending healing vibes and good thoughts for your surgery! As for dressing - I think it depends how you will feel about your new décolleté… you can wear super deep v necks and if you feel like it could be fun to grab some lacy camis and wear them under shirts … it really depends on your style but wearing what makes you feel good is always number 1
I feel like you put this perfectly because I just came back from Italy and it's like you took the words out of my mouth. I learned the same thing!
Alyssa this video made me cry. The last point about finding joy in your everyday and mundane things is so important and we tend to forget that so often. Thank you for the reminder ❤
Wow it’s absolutely right that if your wardrobe is pleasing and uncluttered the whole dressing experience is so much better!😊
Love this video, I do miss the European way of life sometimes, I find that North America, tends to focus on fast fashion, fast food and we forget about the little pleasures that time such as making a simple meal and looking after our belongings - lovely video :)
I too love to get compliments because it makes you feel absolutely great and after all that’s what we all want to happen to you whether it’s from a female or male.especially as I’ve just turn 66
Kinda miss the rare wolf whistle from a construction site now that I’m 63.
As a woman over 50, (who is, if I do say so myself, pretty decent looking -- according to stereotypical beauty standards, other than I do not color my hair and it's a stunning platinum), I can say that those verbal appreciations have stopped. Ageism vis a vis "beauty" is real, even in Italy, thought perhaps it's worse in America and maybe Canada. It's unfortunate, imo.
I love Italian men because they especially appreciate the more mature (>40) woman. Not sure if they mean it but at 59 yo, you take complements where and when you can get them!😂
I so agree, as a women in her 60’s, getting a “ complementi” when I’ve dressed for dinner makes me feel appreciated for the effort! Love Italy for this appreciation for someone who looks stylish.
In my twenties I walked by a frat house with the usual dread of being catcalled. Then I thought, "But what if they don't?"
Brava Alyssa! I love your 4 Italian style rules - leading me to a higher level of understanding and embracing the true beauty in classic fashion and life... Grazie di cuore💝
When I was in Naples a stylish woman walked by a group of older men and the men jingled their key rings in appreciation.
We are native Californians and moved to Rome for a few years with our 4 kids. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. It truly is la bella vida. We are moving back soon. Too hard to live in the US after living there!
Wow, moving back to Rome for longer? We are native Californians too (with 5 young kids), and just enjoyed our first week in Rome a few weeks ago, loved it! It was a bit too hot for us though. 😂 but can’t wait to visit again in the future during cooler times!
I’d say you learned some very insightful and valuable lessons. Thanks for sharing them!
Hi Alyssa. Italy is my favorite country and I am so glad I had the lucky chance of spending 12 yrs there, working and living all over the country. As a Scandinavian, Italy and Italians are
more colorful, more open, and have a bubblier temperament than us Northerners. While listening to you a few minutes ago, I was a bit surprised you mentioned men now and then saying: " Che bella" or " Ciao amore". You also said they did it discreetly. So why get upset
or feel as if they should not do it? It is a compliment. We women ought to feel upset only when there no longer are such remarks. Those are words, no touching, no following, and certainly nothing dangerous. In most central and northern European countries men do not say such things. What is more depressing than perhaps trying to look one´s best, go out to dinner or theater and no one even hints you look better than normally? This is, how I see and feel it. All the best.
In the old days, Italian men were known to pinch the bottoms of lovely women. Thank goodness that trend is over.
I try to think of these things every day when I choose what I’m wearing: own what I wear and as I’m being effortless by owning what I wear, my whole projection is different, more welcoming more organic. I also working hard to find my three words, to be able to decluttering my closet. Thank you for sharing these ideas
I just came from back from Sardinia & French Riviera trip and was surprised how women were dressed so nicely without flashing designer logos everywhere (as opposed to Chicago where I live, where there is a lot of pressure to own designer pieces here). I am originally from South-Eastern Europe and sometimes I forget how effortlessly people live in some parts of Europe.
Love all the points that you made. I miss compliments from men which was normal in my home country, but it’s not existent here. It makes me feel invisible as women. Of course talking just about small admiration and appreciation of woman’s beauty and not unwanted and pushy “compliments”.
I love your travels and that you show the beauty all around you , I will never get to go but I can imagine myself there , I’m happy your ok with people able to compliment , I’m sad that people get offended , and now people don’t even acknowledge that there are people around . I miss those days , I am learning to love my clothes thanks for sharing .
Great video Alyssa! Having just gotten back from Puglia, I couldn't agree more.
Finally. A bit of Alyssa time! What a beautiful video - Italy looks so very breathtaking! So glad you have had such a great time! Safe travels home to Cda. Xo Joanne
Rule #3 hit me hard! As someone who LOVES vintage clothing, I find so many cool, and interesting treasures and most of the time, I want to buy them / own them because…
1. I feel obligated to “rescue” them otherwise they will end up “wasted”…
2. FOMO
3. Because of the “fantasy self” syndrome.
I have to constantly remind myself that if it isn’t my style or taste, I’m not going to end up wearing it so why waste money and space in my closet…?
Yes!! Vintage is my weak spot!
I understand what you are trying to say about complementing other people. When I moved to US from Eastern Europe the fist things I noticed and that people were not complementing other people . I assumed they were trying to be politically correct.
But appreciating another person style is beautiful if done correctly. I guess when there is not a culture to do so appropriately then people afraid to make an offensive remarks and do not complement at all. ❤
It was very very noticeable to me in us.
I love listening to your tips because you are fabulous and encourage others to be fabulous too. Thanks!
Loved these! I’m going to start my closet ‘remodel?’ ‘Redecorate?’ ‘Beautify?” this afternoon.
Great video! Being from Italy myself, I grew up with the idea of making everything beautiful, stylish, and elegant. This is so innate to Italian culture that it comes naturally and effortlessly. It’s sad that we’ve reached a point in this country in which everyone is obsessed with being beautiful (but trying too hard and seeming self-conscious about it) and, at the same time, being offended when someone actually appreciates their beauty and expresses that appreciation. Being called beautiful is not an assault, it’s an affirmation. Very sad that people (especially women) no longer know the difference … so glad that I’m Italian.
I love learning new things and visiting Italy through you. I will try to socialize more! Will see you at the Live!
such wonderful reminders ! grazie, Alyssa🥰
Love those birds so beautiful. Aldo the first crossed blouse is stunning!!! Love it!!!
Love it! So easy to get caught in the hussle and bussle of everyday life. Yet taking the time to bring beauty to our lives is so worth it. Thank you for the reminder.
I really resonated with appreciation versus possession. As I buy mostly all of my clothes second hand I often come across something that is great fibres or really cool vintage or a brand I search for and sometime just the thrill of that find is enough to appreciate it.. it doesn’t have to come home with me if it is not my style and going to fit into the wardrobe I am trying to curate. Like the other day I found these Celine wool pants with the triomphe symbol on them but they were too badly damaged beyond repair so I just appreciated seeing that garment in person and left it in the store.
Alyssa this was perfect!! Loved the birds! Thank you for a beautiful vlog. The scenery was stunning and the content was fun and inspiring. Enjoy your last few days in Italy ❤️.
Agree 😊
Alyssa you look soo relaxed and effortless. Loved this video, #4 rule really spoke to me. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Alyssa! I am also Canadian born and now living in the USA.
Love and blessings beautiful lady!👌🌹💕
I think you are so right saying that we can appreciate garments without buying them. This is so smart! I have a problem with compulsive shopping and it’s difficult for me to walk away from something that I really like in the store. So many times I end up buying something that wasn’t me. I have to remember that I can appreciate without buying. It sounds like I’m an shopaholic 😂 also I like the part about socializing… I’m guilty of thinking too much about what I’m going to wear instead of just having fun with friends…
I really know this problem! Stopp feeling guilty for anything you do or feel! That doesn't help at all!! Have fun getting dressed each day with what you already have! Thats the way out of this problem! Make it a challenge for you to create as much as different outfits with one special garment for example. Or try to wear really ALL your peaces you have (one after the other)...
These were and are the things that helped me. I still think a lot about getting dressed and all these things, but now I don't buy any more (or MUCH less), but I have fun with my own wardrobe. Try it!
Very enjoyable! My husband used to be a bit annoyed when I wanted to enjoy fabulous boutiques and jewellery shops and now I realise that I should have made clear to him I was just enjoying the items on show and didn’t want to buy everything I saw! You are quite right about just enjoying the items on display! 😁❤
Very nice! Great philosophy. Liked how you incorporated fashion into life as a whole. 😄
So insightful as usual. I aæways look forward to your viseos and am never disappointed.
Italy is so beautiful. I love what you said about not having to buy everything you see and love. I am still working on that. Great video. I love having my Sunday morning coffee while watching your latest video.
I enjoyed your video very much, it was a delight. Thank you for sharing so many lessons . You put everthing in a very clear, calm and elegant way!
A compliment should be appreciated. Men look at women and women look at men. Let's not demonize that.
Completely agree.
They always make my day!🥰
Well, I had italian men yelling sexy…. and other way worse things at me in the streets. They would block my way as I was walking and their hands would be all over me unless I defended myself. Now for me a compliment is something else. So I think there is a point when a compliment becomes something rude that is really hard to be comfortable with. Don’t get me wrong I loove Italy and many men are very polite and can compliment you in a very nice way! So it depends on as well.
@@evalindell2757 very true.
@@bambina3148 thank you! ❤️
I completely agree with your last point. There is this archetype of a strong resilient Italian woman who can withstand the male gaze. I am thinking of Monica Bellucci in Malena. Also, there is a great scene in l'Avventura (one of my favorite films) where Monica Vitti walks in a southern Italian city, and the men are whistling at her.
Love this video. I’m going to Rome next week actually and this makes me even more excited!
I'm Italian and I love your videos, especially these, because you show me with different eyes the beauty that surrounds me. Thank you very much, it's so nice to see a person in love with something where you're part of it too. ❤❤❤
love your perspective on things, projects, style... being effortless and kinda not caring about, what others might think💚
Yes.. lets appreciate being appreciated💯💕.. great reminder also to me i can appreciate something without needing to purchase. Thanks Alyssa.. i love bird song 🐦🐦
Nice topic and love your views and insight.
This was delightful. I really enjoy when you talk to us and roll lovely B footage of whatever you've been up to (I mean particularly in Italy but in general you have a great eye for appreciating beauty and little moments so it's always welcome no matter where you are filming!).
I could not agree with you more Alyssa. Good points, well made !!!!!
LOL I did not expect the connection between friendly Italian men and the idea that we can appreciate beautiful things without taking them home. Very clever, and very true.
The scenes of Italy are gorgeous.
Love it! Specially the point 3! I’m italian and I think you nailed it! ❤
Love ❤ this so much!! It’s about being comfortable in ourselves and happy with ourselves on the inside. And taking time slowing down, enjoying others and ourselves. Thank you! Bellisima! 🎉
I travelled alone my whole life and adapted these very ideas and do it every day😊I am 72 and still feel and look goooood😜
Hi, love from India. I’m at a point where you seemed to speak right to me; addressing my concerns directly! And there’s so much food for thought that it’s going to take me ages to chew on everything and reply. Thank you, and keep up the beautiful work.
Agree, beauty in all things is very important to italians. A Beautiful cultural value!
#4 so True! There have been days that I have fussed with myself and wasn't completely happy with the outcome - and then there are days when I didnt fuss because I was just running errands and I would catch myself in the hall mirror before I left and think - wow I look so relaxed and effortless. Even my face looked better - perhaps just because of the lack of stress to look my best - I did look my best! Caio Bella!
This was a great reminder. I am going to a concert tonight. I normally don't check what to wear to this artist's concert. I'm anxious because I've gained weight and I am older. My 3 words are modern-classic, creative, and comfortable. I need to be myself. Thanks❤
I love how complimentary men are in Italy. I never overthought it or thought in a way about it all in terms of harassment. I love their culture and I agree with you in terms of happiness, feeling comfortable with one's self and living life in a relaxed way----not overthinking everything. I wish I lived there sometimes
I think the lesson of learning to appreciate something without buying is sooo important! I’ve fallen victim in the past and often it made my closet feel much more disjointed than cohesive because I was buying anything that caught my eye rather than thinking critically about how, or even if, I could incorporate it into my wardrobe.
Wow, Italian men do notice beauty around them. Wearing a smile is king❤❤🎉🎉🎉
Beautiful, thought-provoking and very constructive content. Thank you so much once again.
I love that you share your beautiful Italian ❤ and soul and how you inspire joy and appreciation.
Grazie!
8:40 thank you for talking about this. I love the joy of beauty and food in Italy. I have been watching street style of Milan videos and it brings a smile to my face to see gorgeous fabrics and colors and sensuous styles. Yes, yes, yes, let’s express who We are.
All sooooo good! I took a picture of each one so I can keep reminding myself of these good things
I’ve been gone for a while… what a wonderful video to jump back in again!! Thank you so much!!❤
Lovely video and GREAT reminders!
My family lived in southern Italy for 3 years in the 1960s. Scenery reminds me of then.