Softlife AKA "I am THE TABLE" 2.0 - Kevin Samuels Started this Conversation (Ep 109)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 440

  • @9chilidog
    @9chilidog ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Soft girl is an act

    • @chasehlee7197
      @chasehlee7197 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yeah it sounds like the sequel to hot girl summer and that’s not a franchise that I follow.

    • @tri3pleagent
      @tri3pleagent ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Indeed...imagine if a man said he can't be fully masculine unless a woman was feminine. He'd get laughed out of the room.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Better believe it....

    • @9chilidog
      @9chilidog ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@tri3pleagent “I’m gonna wear this red dress and pumps UNTIL A REAL, feminine woman makes me a man!”

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      💯

  • @bezglover
    @bezglover ปีที่แล้ว +102

    Somewhere around the 35:00 mark, she showed her true colors. Alan spoke about the proximity “good” BW have to “bad” BW and this woman processed to go on a 2 minute rant about women “always” being critiqued and then says it’s easier to be with other groups of men.
    At that moment, I wanted Alan to invoke his FULL KS and let her know, “MOST other groups of men DONT WANT BW for the same reasons BM don’t!”
    This girl just keep showing how delusional she is

    • @johnbreitmeier3268
      @johnbreitmeier3268 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      yep

    • @karlsinclair9285
      @karlsinclair9285 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      she
      is exactly the kind of black woman, that disregard, black men

    • @dasmith1207
      @dasmith1207 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      She "bailed out" but it wouldn't have mattered for that same fact. Men are basically men on the same planet.

    • @mr.thomas5489
      @mr.thomas5489 ปีที่แล้ว

      Agreed

    • @sunnialiber4868
      @sunnialiber4868 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was sad to hear

  • @LionelRWilson
    @LionelRWilson ปีที่แล้ว +47

    She's beautiful and props to her for actually having the conversation in good faith....that said, she listened but she heard what she wanted to. Mans never said dudes out here want some impossible standard. Fake it to you make it is only a band aid.

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Opens with "I want to have a neutral conversation." Proceeds to shit on men right away. No accountability at all. She even says she's not ready to be a wife and doesnt know hownto live with men. But says men are afraid of commitment and are scared of getring serious w her... 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

  • @ambiired
    @ambiired ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I think it's very disingenuous when black women say I'll just date outside my race when you don't even attract those men. Especially, if/when our black men say the same thing, we are up in arms. Black women, let's just do the work and couple with/marry our black men.

    • @Lovebrix99
      @Lovebrix99 ปีที่แล้ว

      No it’s not, we are allowed to date and marry nonbm. This is a free world, bw should get with other groups of men

    • @ambiired
      @ambiired ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@Lovebrix99 Of course we are, but if those non black men aren't approaching you to date/attracted to you...how do you recommend black women to proceed?

    • @everObvious
      @everObvious ปีที่แล้ว

      (Black man here) See: this is why the sentiment expressed @36:50 is so disingenuous. It’s not that BW have such a strong affinity for the BM they so openly badmouth. Rather, no other race of men is checking for them.
      This is where BW need to reflect on their public image.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@ambiired some of em are talking like their grandmas/mamas haven’t already tried to do this in the past.
      They are delusional

    • @SHANNY13_96
      @SHANNY13_96 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Lovebrix99 u a bih i bet u a bih boy trolling😂🤣

  • @ItsGoingDao
    @ItsGoingDao ปีที่แล้ว +11

    This channel is transformative. It’s refreshing to see mindsets studied and challenged from a place of introspection and love.

  • @nextgenerationsshow
    @nextgenerationsshow ปีที่แล้ว +65

    Want to be a wife someday and not ready to be a wife now and you're in your late twenties tells men your age and others that you're just for fun and not to be taken seriously. That is probably the way she's being viewed and treated.

    • @dredey1971
      @dredey1971 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      You could never convince her of that. She said she is a good dater, but dating is trash. That makes no sense. From the male point of view, she's dating for sex.

    • @PierreVtheGreat
      @PierreVtheGreat ปีที่แล้ว +7

      You hit the nail on the head

    • @djvnkc
      @djvnkc ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@dredey1971 but you couldn’t come straight out say that. Stand on one foot, wiggle your ear and sign language “I just want sex”

    • @BlackGodKing-oi2gr
      @BlackGodKing-oi2gr ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dredey1971
      Yea u can be a good dater but not an equipped partner for a relationship. I think she is misconstruing her experience with her ability to socialize with men instead of understanding them to know how she can be an asset to his life

    • @dredey1971
      @dredey1971 ปีที่แล้ว

      @BlackGod King1995 just curious. What attribute(s) would qualify a woman as a good dater?

  • @ceasdamonsta
    @ceasdamonsta ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I was gonna watch this video, then I read the comments. No need to watch the video. No matter what we say, how we say it, or the tone. They are not listening.

  • @xrewdavid
    @xrewdavid ปีที่แล้ว +13

    She didn't listen to a darn thing he said and she asked the questions. She kept looking for her safe pocket rather than be uncomfortable to understand and comprehend his perspective

  • @Teewayne
    @Teewayne ปีที่แล้ว +38

    She basically just told you that she would rather create the “Passport Sisters” to date non-black men instead of taking the few critiques you gave her bc in her words “the list keeps growing and growing”. She don’t want to change at all and like him said at the beginning “we have to accept you as you are”. That’s “modern women” in a nutshell

    • @Seancarter2010
      @Seancarter2010 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I say let them go we absolutely lose nothing if women like this leave. If all she wants to hear is how perfect black women are even though they refuse to give black men the bare minimum go be with Brad. We can find happiness with Ling Ling and Rosita

    • @johnnyoldenjr.
      @johnnyoldenjr. ปีที่แล้ว

      Theyve been traveling and getting out town and out of country dick for years. Every dating profile they say they love to travel. Their mad though because they want men to travel with them but now men are traveling and dating women of other countries.

    • @Pysnpai
      @Pysnpai ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Foreign people aren't really marrying American black women though...really any American women. The USA exports men and imports women, not the other way around, because other cultures in mass don't want to date American women.

    • @queenbae6396
      @queenbae6396 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lol y’all date Ling Ling and Maria anyway, don’t act like you’re doing us a favour. Like don’t have eye to see how things end with your preferences

    • @E.P.7131
      @E.P.7131 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      We have to give them reason to change by walking away 🚶🏿

  • @PierreVtheGreat
    @PierreVtheGreat ปีที่แล้ว +36

    In the beginning when she was coming up with the reasons her dating life is bad , from blaming this generation, to social media, men mentalities nowadays, and etc but never saying that she may be her own issue in the dating scene was very telling(no accountability). She doesn’t want to be a wife yet but wants to share her life with someone(confusing). She is very long winded and all over the place with simple answers(possible BS’er) &(can be very exhausting having in depth conversations with) She comes off as a “fun girl” and that’s why she gets the results she gets in the dating scene.

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      She is the one common thread. Says men this, men that, but also says she's not ready to be a wife. Seriously? If men cant see you as a wife and mother you are for recreational use only.

    • @dvan5374
      @dvan5374 ปีที่แล้ว

      The manosphere calling them out and they don't like it. They want shopping money and no slut shamming. Women have money now and showing their true colors and can't be trusted and want men To be dumb and uninformed.

  • @johnbreitmeier3268
    @johnbreitmeier3268 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    She does not get it at all. It is simple. Non-Black men want the same things Black men want. Be Feminine. Be Nice. Don't smile "all the time", but smile when a man compliments you and especially when you WANT him to notice you. Get Fit. Don't nag or try to run everything. Assume good will on the man's part until he proves otherwise. Don't judge a man by his appearance or height or income. Know your level and what you can reasonably get AND KEEP.

    • @Seancarter2010
      @Seancarter2010 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Nope. She’s a 10 and deserves a 10 anything else is settling and they would all rather die alone than settle…. Until they can’t pay that rent and all the men that gave them attention either get married or move on to the younger hotter model

    • @johnbreitmeier3268
      @johnbreitmeier3268 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Seancarter2010 I hear you, but objectively she isn't even a 3 right now..

    • @rakakalala
      @rakakalala ปีที่แล้ว

      “Don’t judge a man by his appearance or height or income.” Are you saying women shouldn’t have standards lol?

    • @johnbreitmeier3268
      @johnbreitmeier3268 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@rakakalala Shallow one, I am clearly saying that modern women have stupid standards that do not lead to stable relationships. I never said that women should not have any standards, just better ones. Height does not equate to a willingness to protect you. Good looks rarely indicates a commitment to monogamy. Income does not equate to an ability to provide a stable home. (He may spend it faster than he makes it or on other women.)
      Modern women's "standards" have 80% of them wanting to be "married" to the same 10% of men and still be monogamous. Lunacy!

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@rakakalala Research into what actually predicts for successful relationships. A man being 6’2 won’t do anything for your marriage.
      Intelligent women are looking at character traits, as this is the true key to a successful relationship. And with the right character traits, the shallower elements will often fall in line. This doesn’t work in the reverse

  • @THEBLACKTOXICMASCULINIST
    @THEBLACKTOXICMASCULINIST ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Here's why "working on myself" DOESN'T work.
    "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
    Albert Einstein

  • @karlsinclair9285
    @karlsinclair9285 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    she said, she’s not ready to be a wife,
    yet she’s ready to be a partner
    think about that….
    going into a black man’s ears
    now,
    why would a black man, build with her? a woman that’s not ready to be a wife
    black women, do not think about what they are saying..
    their words expose & deceive them

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She exposed herself at the end by thinking these requirements are not there by non-BM. That let me know all I need to..

  • @lobecosc
    @lobecosc ปีที่แล้ว +22

    After watching this, all I have to say is that Myron was right. She is delusional. She’s chasing the same type of guy that most women want and refuses to settle. Much love to Fresh and Fit. Great video and great interview.

    • @mafamac4069
      @mafamac4069 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Myron is never wrong but his not gentle with the truth either, his straight raw

    • @nux2k
      @nux2k ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Please don't bring up fresh and fit first of all they don't really like black people especially black women they see themselves as other and better. And this channel it thinks on a much higher level than fresh and fit. All they do is grab dumb h*es from the club then act surprise they dumb h*es

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Says men are shit and are scared of relationships. Then proceeds to say she's not ready to be a wife and stresses out living with a man. Bruh... she's got issues.

  • @xocolatl3682
    @xocolatl3682 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    Yup she said it. They do not want to live under a man’s guidelines regardless of how great he is. They just want to be free. We call it protection and they call subjection this is the root of this gender battle time immemorial. We have to let women be and find their own way in this world and just meet them in the middle..

    • @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13
      @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I peeped that too. Marriage comes with responsibility and they do not want anyone to hold them accountable to any standards, so marriage is out.

    • @Seancarter2010
      @Seancarter2010 ปีที่แล้ว

      Then let them be alone fine by me. People like this aren’t worth entertaining in the romantic sense.

    • @karlsinclair9285
      @karlsinclair9285 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      brother
      i told a black woman while at a date, to love requires a man to provide protection
      she heard, i wanted to control her
      feminist mindset

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nonhelpmeet mindset....burden of performance has regressed

    • @xocolatl3682
      @xocolatl3682 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Cahluvca help is an option not a requirement. Proper preparation prevents poor performance not a woman.

  • @aytoonz35
    @aytoonz35 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    If she wants a committed person, she has to give that man a reason to commit to her.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Burden of performance isn't the American way..... take me as I am is

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Says men are afraid to commit but then says she's not ready to be a wife and doesnt know how to live w men and not be single. But men are the problem......... If we cant see you as a wife and future mother you are for recreational use only!

  • @dreadedduraggod2715
    @dreadedduraggod2715 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I love this channel so much bro, it's grown adults having grown conversations. It's well articulated and there isn't this air of enjoying eachothers suffering. If there is going to be a "black gender debate" your channel should be at the forefront

    • @timboslice9905
      @timboslice9905 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I agree. There are good points made on some other channels but the comments sections can turn into echo chambers and one-sidedness. This is the most balanced channel out here right now.

  • @esbluetheprototype
    @esbluetheprototype ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Around 36:00 she's describing the fact that BW won't change because they think it's “too hard” and so they date non-Black. BM, on the other hand, have acknowledged that BW won't change and so they also date non-Black. The outcomes are mirrored but the reason ultimately boils down to the fact that BW refuse to improve themselves.

  • @garybirch2520
    @garybirch2520 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    On her last note, she missed the point that black men have been silent about our issues for 60+ years. It sounds like the demands do not end because black women have never been critiqued historically.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Shararazad Ali spoke on this....

    • @lavellelee5734
      @lavellelee5734 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Cahluvca no cap 🤣

    • @lavellelee5734
      @lavellelee5734 ปีที่แล้ว

      Funny how no one gets this

  • @RISEWithKDoz
    @RISEWithKDoz ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I love this channel and it’s topics. It’s great to hear both sides while maintaining a high level of respect.

    • @wnttalk
      @wnttalk  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you brother ✊🏿

  • @wokemanishboi5003
    @wokemanishboi5003 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Sistas who are ready to be wives should marry older as a practice. Primarily because the majority of young men their age aren't ready. Not to mention by the time they are they will probably marry younger anyway.

  • @hatkingempire6286
    @hatkingempire6286 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    When they say I hear you just know that their not listening.

  • @The_Shogun_of_Harlem
    @The_Shogun_of_Harlem ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Funny how she says that it's easier to date a white man. The white men don't have to tell them to tap into their femininity, talk softer or chill with the attitude. They do it automatically. Like KS use to tell them, talk to me like you talk to your white boss

    • @lavellelee5734
      @lavellelee5734 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cuz white boy knows his worth and wasn't raised to be captain save a hoe. For decades these men have dating overseas, they know they have an abundance of options.

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      White men will give them no drama and absolutely no wiggle room for masculine bs. Shw wont see or hear from him ever again. "Cody, Cody where you at⁉️⁉️⁉️"

  • @yoyotwee
    @yoyotwee ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Nah ninjas was just running game to clap them cheeks. Some succeeded and some failed but none wanted a relationship with you for whatever reason.

  • @VyCityMusic
    @VyCityMusic 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love the sociological element of these videos . I’m getting married in 6 months but remembering when I was in the dating pool when he said “black men aren’t worth competing for, black men are our birth rite and they are as good as how good they make us feel “ I felt that in my soul 🙏🏿✨

  • @simplymy2cents
    @simplymy2cents ปีที่แล้ว +17

    This was so exhausting, Jesus how hard is it just for you to be pleasant to be around? That is literally the basics of what we men are asking for.

    • @Seancarter2010
      @Seancarter2010 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Because they don’t even like themselves like on any level at all. They wear makeup to hide their faces, wigs and weaves to hide their hair and surround themselves with people they know for a fact lie to them just safeguard their fragile feelings.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว

      Helpmeet vs nonhelpmeet....

    • @christinabivins3839
      @christinabivins3839 ปีที่แล้ว

      We want to be pleasant but not treated like shit ..is that not easy?

  • @gray_foxx583
    @gray_foxx583 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I think that black women should jump over the fence and see if life is better for them
    Black women have allowed things to get to this point. Black men should save themselves and please self moving forward.

  • @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13
    @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    What you bring to a romantic partner is not like any of your other relationships.

  • @tthinkbiz
    @tthinkbiz ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I COMPLETELY understand why this girl is single......SHGDH...

    • @mizzknowbyde9643
      @mizzknowbyde9643 ปีที่แล้ว

      As a woman I approve this message

    • @E.P.7131
      @E.P.7131 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mizzknowbyde9643 Can you elaborate, as a woman?

    • @mizzknowbyde9643
      @mizzknowbyde9643 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@E.P.7131 the contradiction of it all. Long winded answers aka dancing around the questions. A product of feminism with a dash of still treat me like a Queen. And the last part I sensed divest culture I wish her the best tho.

    • @E.P.7131
      @E.P.7131 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mizzknowbyde9643 Thank you.
      Do you have any suggestions for men?
      For romantic and familial relationships, because I have a family full of women like this and its a challenge to deal with them.

    • @mizzknowbyde9643
      @mizzknowbyde9643 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@E.P.7131 there’s no convincing them otherwise . Just separate yourself from them and keep it pushing. To weed out women who are not on the same page just bring up 2 words Kevin Samuels. And that right there will let you know where she stands. Be safe out here ✌🏾❤️

  • @mr_willwhite8465
    @mr_willwhite8465 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Around min 31:00 she talked about the manosphere setting unrealistic expectations of blk women. What she totally misses is that we can look at other cultures of women right here in America & see what we want. We can look at foreign women & see a better version of what we want. Unlike women, we're not dreaming up unrealistic standards, we compare blk women to what we see right outside our race daily

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      We comparing them to their own ancestors bro, don’t even have to go outside of the race. Because the normal response to that is “we have different challenges from those white, Latina, Asian women”.
      But who had it harder between you and your grandmothers? This is the real key.

    • @mr_willwhite8465
      @mr_willwhite8465 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@themarathoncontinues4211 I hear u but the fact is we don't experience our grandmothers in their youth, but we experience other races of women now. Blk women today - their competition isn't our grandmothers, it's Maria, Anu, Becky, Mi-ling of today.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@mr_willwhite8465 that’s a fact. U not wrong bruh

  • @kingaustin6985
    @kingaustin6985 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    After watching her on this channel the two times she has been on here I definitely understand the many reasons why she is single and why men do not want to deal with her for a committed serious relationship and or a committed serious marriage

    • @tonys5631
      @tonys5631 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She dates for the attention not intention. Wmn need to take their L’s like everyone else. But they think L’s belong to everyone else.

  • @derekswartz1247
    @derekswartz1247 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    african women ask men this alot. "CAN YOU TAKE CARE OF ME?"

    • @lavellelee5734
      @lavellelee5734 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's a very good question. It's practical

  • @caldonjah
    @caldonjah ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A black man is only [good] contingent upon how good he makes her feel.
    Wow, good analysis

  • @mr.thomas5489
    @mr.thomas5489 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Black men have to complete a fantasy in each Black woman heads that they have individually depends on the quality of aunts, girlfriends, and social media they listen to

  • @truthseekingfreethinker5214
    @truthseekingfreethinker5214 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I wonder when it came to dating, did she ever think maybe its me? Nah she never did because she thinks she is a great dater. SMH
    Its like women never realize that a man can go into a relationship wanting something serious, then actually being with that woman they change their mind and she attributes that to a man having past trauma?

  • @toysrus701
    @toysrus701 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    If you're not already a wife, it's going to be difficult to become a wife. This is what I've learned with dating these women. If they don't show/express wifey characteristics, she's not a wife.
    You don't attract older men because we know you're not a wife. You can't get older men.

  • @morpheus1586
    @morpheus1586 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    She is very unaware of herself. I dont think she can see that she is the problem here.

  • @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13
    @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    People want to keep “rosters” and that’s not conducive to getting into a committed relationship, because you never give one person the effort and time that they need to be in a committed relationship. Juggling several people is a waste of time.

  • @THEBLACKTOXICMASCULINIST
    @THEBLACKTOXICMASCULINIST ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Whenever a person says they are trying to be the "Best Version of Themselves."
    Ask them how do they imagine themselves and how do they imagine themselves as the BEST version of themselves.🤔

  • @josephwhite3486
    @josephwhite3486 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Stop having casual sex thinking it will turn into a relationship. We know we can't tell you we just want sex. You want lies, until you want the truth. If you not ready for marriage, stop dating. It doesn't work. Dating is trash but I'm not ready for a committed relationship. Make it make sense. They just don't want you.

  • @TynishaTalks
    @TynishaTalks ปีที่แล้ว +6

    1. Travel is life. I'm sad you said that lol.
    2. I don't believe the soft girl life trend either. They literally depict "soft girl life" as women chasing rainbows with their hair tied in a towel while in a bathrobe. This shit (excuse my French) is hard. When you do the real work to heal from your traumas and tap into your feminine side - after being in a wounded masculine state for years - you realize that it sucks sometimes. Facing your demons is real.
    3. I like her 😊 she was a really good guest. I actually understand her frustration/what she was saying in the end. You can do the work and still be accused of someone who isn't being genuine. It's like...why do the work? But your responses 🥊
    4. Oh boy. When I got to the end-end, I understood the comments lol. Yes, her logic is parallel to what black men say/feel. If we say they're copping out by dating out vs. working on themselves, this is what we'd also be doing because "there's always a critique"
    Whew, such a layered discussion.This was very satisfying for my mental lol ♥

    • @JustJacQuaye
      @JustJacQuaye ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hey Hey! Big fan of this channel and of you and your channel! Keep up the good work and enlightening convos to the both of you💪🏾💖!

    • @wnttalk
      @wnttalk  ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you so much!

  • @maxwelshouse8357
    @maxwelshouse8357 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Very good topics and great dialogue between the two. Great guest! However something I find interesting not just with the young lady but prevalent within most women today is the notion to agree with a statement made, following it with an “I don’t know about that” but then completely arguing for the statement made or just rephrasing a dudes comment to fit their own line of thinking. I’ve noticed in my family own discussions during conversations like these between my married mother and father, married aunts and uncles, it’s nothing for the ladies to say the words “I agree” and just move on to another line of questioning while simultaneously saluting there significant other on a point well made. Speaks to your point about how women in this generation weren’t even taught certain subtle skills that would take relationships even further.

  • @Mrgarlandharrell1
    @Mrgarlandharrell1 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Hold on Hold on Hold on Hold on.. Don’t over talk me…Dress size😂

  • @jontelmurphy5996
    @jontelmurphy5996 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    She she said she was a pretty good dater, and she's not ready to be a wife, thats the problem. If you admit you're not ready to be a wife, then i assume you're not displaying the characteristics that a man would see that would lead him to see you as wife material.

  • @michaeljmyers1995
    @michaeljmyers1995 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    7:49 Lacking introspection in trying to find good relationships means you aren't ready and it's your fault

  • @MelyMel8867
    @MelyMel8867 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "If you're wishy washy about what you actually want, you RESULTS tend to wishy washy"
    You can't blame the game if you're enjoying playing the game.

  • @jameskent8165
    @jameskent8165 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    “The critique don’t end” Black men felt that. Still have to perform at a high level. Pressure makes diamonds. I’m not saying it’s easy to be a feminine woman but think about every valuable position in the world. They are hard. So work hard LIKE we do. Just don’t work HOW we do cause our roles are different😂. To simple. Black women back then were submissive while being human with Jim Crow but now we need tik tok to help. SMH.

    • @karlsinclair9285
      @karlsinclair9285 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      good man, that’s a response for shirting accountability by black women

    • @jameskent8165
      @jameskent8165 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@karlsinclair9285 it’s just sad because if I waited on a women to be feminine for me to be masculine I would be suffocated. And I know us men want our women to feel that way. That they don’t need or want a man’s green light before being feminine because they just are, genuinely naturally, unconditionally that way.

    • @Lovebrix99
      @Lovebrix99 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And black men back then treated those black women like shit. The same way bm do now

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Lovebrix99 so date others and stop complaining/talking about BM celebrities not dating u. Simple solution.

    • @Jaslath
      @Jaslath ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Lovebrix99
      No they weren't. And even if they were what does that have to do with you? Why are you getting to claim your mothers and grandmothers hardships?

  • @robertm5855
    @robertm5855 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    How far we’ve fallen from the mark

  • @joefromdc
    @joefromdc ปีที่แล้ว +2

    32.43 min mark. Historically woman of the night dressed and acted completely different from let's say a church woman. In 2023 there is no separation in attitude and or dress

  • @aw3024
    @aw3024 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "I'm not ready to be a wife", "I'm ready to be in a committed relationship", but don't understand why someone would leave a situation involving her..."I am wise" but there is no self reflection. Ma'am you are the problem. Not knowing what you want but expecting someone to wow you and be what you didn't know you wanted is illogical.

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Says men are afraid to commit but then says she's not ready to be a wife and doesnt know how to live w men and not be single. But men are the problem......... If we cant see you as a wife and future mother you are for recreational use only!

  • @TrulyCharles143
    @TrulyCharles143 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    24:50 temporary femininity. Well put. Happens a lot

  • @TheJaybass32
    @TheJaybass32 ปีที่แล้ว

    She listens to understand...rare

  • @myafrosheen
    @myafrosheen ปีที่แล้ว +2

    She would not have thrived in the 80s as men back then would have expected more traditional characteristics from their potential wife and she gives off the "I'm a PhD" feminist vibes which will deter a man with sense 9 times outta 10

  • @LRich44
    @LRich44 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I feel that as a whole, we are too far gone for the traditionalism conversation. Life is progressing to fast to revert back to old ways and unfortunately that means the old way of relationships has to evolve. I hope I’m wrong but i just don’t see how to make it work. In my opinion the best things we can do is have more progress conversations about what relationships will look like in the future and about how we all will just have to adjust.

    • @LRich44
      @LRich44 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Again this i just my opinion, I sincerely hope I’m wrong 🙏🏾

    • @hanzohasashi607
      @hanzohasashi607 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yea, you right.
      Just hope we have these conversations on time

    • @deeerv4905
      @deeerv4905 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      What men biological want and need /respond to can’t change just because society has.

    • @LRich44
      @LRich44 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@deeerv4905 It’s less about biology and more about social media/technology driving society in a direction that we have no control over because we as humans are in too deep. Again I hope I’m wrong my friends….but the reality is it will continue to move away from old traditionalism to a new traditionalism/norm.

    • @LRich44
      @LRich44 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@hanzohasashi607 me too…we don’t need anymore excuses….we just need new solutions!

  • @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13
    @coolbreeze2.0-mortemadfasc13 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    She forced you to say “men and women” when it came to the illusion of choice. That’s definitely an issue much more for women.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s less than 10% of men that have enough options to have such illusions. Definitely isn’t a male problem as such

    • @queenbae6396
      @queenbae6396 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nope, men have this too. Most people don’t have that many options… if your wealthy or very attractive you have more.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@queenbae6396 women definitely have enough options for the illusion of choice, that’s what’s ruined dating for alot of ppl actually

  • @instrinsiclove
    @instrinsiclove ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Shesh, I’m looking at these comments shook. Did we watch the same thing? 😂 We really process information so differently. I didn’t hear half of what the people in these comments are attributing to her.

  • @CarhaulerDA
    @CarhaulerDA ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She said she is not ready to be a wife or wife material right now… but wants to be in a committed relationship. What’s the point if the goal isn’t marriage, why commit when you aren’t ready.

    • @_ElijahEarl
      @_ElijahEarl ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was funny, she was so upset about men not being ready and her next sentence was “I’m not ready for a relationship right now.” Okay💀

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Says men are afraid to commit but then says she's not ready to be a wife and doesnt know how to live w men and not be single. But men are the problem......... If we cant see you as a wife and future mother you are for recreational use only!

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Says men are afraid to commit but then says she's not ready to be a wife and doesnt know how to live w men and not be single. But men are the problem......... If we cant see you as a wife and future mother you are for recreational use only!

  • @c.a.r.specialistofamerica8613
    @c.a.r.specialistofamerica8613 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Committed relationship? She is probably in several of those with her lenders. She’s not ready for marriage though. This is just bizarre!

  • @michaelturnbull8460
    @michaelturnbull8460 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That's the case. From everything I have seen. Most Black women aren't working on themselves. They don't believe they have to. Men are supposed to just accept them as they are.
    Black men have taken the critiques from Black women for decades! And have worked & addressed those issues (yes those issues still exist, but not as prevalent as they were as let's say the 90's). Meanwhile you don't dare try to critique a Black woman about anything! Otherwise it's you hate Black women, & who hurt you, or you're intimidated.

  • @franklinwill22
    @franklinwill22 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Several red flags wit this one: weight, not ready to be a wife, wants to be a partner, not looking to be wit older men. She seems to be purposely single.

  • @Shenruss
    @Shenruss ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "The critiques don't end... so it's like 'ok, so who can I be'?" Again: fair enough. But again: don't *women* do this excessively _too?_
    Get regular or trade jobs; don't make enough money. Don't talk; we're unfeeling. We _do_ emote; "oh, he's soft". We want fit; we're body shaming. _We_ aren't fit; it's unattractive. Women want "partners," but _also_ want men to take most of the financial burden. We need the patience of Job, be God fearing, tall, thug swag like Tupac but be white collar... _where_ does it end?

    • @everObvious
      @everObvious ปีที่แล้ว

      No, there are inherent differences in male behavior.
      For one: men are fundamentally more humble when it comes to taking on this criticism. We actively embrace self improvement as a component of building character.
      Two (but this is really just an extension): because men embrace “character” as a virtue, we approach this growth in good faith.
      So, yes: both sides may say “how much is enough?” But a guy is saying that after earnestly changing his lifestyle to be more valuable (in the eyes of both women and society), while a girl is mimicking a soft tone of voice or a plastered on smile, yet unwilling to (for example) seek therapy to deconstruct why her instinct still leans toward hostility, contempt, and sass as a default.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Generational culture of not giving criticism towards women...about 3 generations in USA

    • @lavellelee5734
      @lavellelee5734 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Preach 😂

  • @shotstanton4666
    @shotstanton4666 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sad thing about these things is GOD HASNT CHANGED.. Y LET WOMEN CHANGE US

  • @michiganrico2802
    @michiganrico2802 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Piece of advice, never ask a woman anything looking for clarification . Just let her talk and come back with truth. It’s exhausting

  • @freeformcanvas9317
    @freeformcanvas9317 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Says I don't want to place blame... immediately places blame

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Thank you 👏💥👏💥👏💥

  • @markiatto_4292
    @markiatto_4292 ปีที่แล้ว

    “No limit soldier!”😂

  • @furiousgtribal4325
    @furiousgtribal4325 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Let's be honest "acting" soft isn't an overnight thing. You can't just turn it on and off. If you've been moving in your semi masculine energy. You just can't maintain moving like that if it hasn't been habit for you. Especially for so many years. Same thing with a man. Who has been moving like a simp for years. He has to get back into the confident, assertive male that he neglected in himself

    • @johnbreitmeier3268
      @johnbreitmeier3268 ปีที่แล้ว

      So you still have to start somewhere and "fake it til you make it." Practice makes perfect. Get started.

    • @themarathoncontinues4211
      @themarathoncontinues4211 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@johnbreitmeier3268 the key here is the criteria for what you are faking.
      Wearing pink dresses, telling men they have to spend everything on you otherwise they are sassy/broke, and making videos about being a “stay at home gf” won’t cut it.
      That’s the issue here. It’s like a man sitting down watching red pill/masculinity videos and thinking that actually changes his life practically.
      These women aren’t practicing conflict resolution skills or anything related to true femininity.

    • @dduffy7271
      @dduffy7271 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@johnbreitmeier3268 practice doesn’t make perfect, but it can make permanent. What many black women and this young lady don’t understand is that men aren’t here for the “projects in process” because they will give us hell with little to no progress. We want the women who have been practicing for permanence long before they were of dating/marrying age, so that when we meet them, the relationship can be of great benefit to us both. Modern BW are just now hearing about being soft and feminine, so BM already inherently know there is no permanence yet, so we aren’t going to choose them since we desire a peaceful and happy life; soft life is a fad to BW until the next thing comes along (with its masculine undertones) because they show a lack in self awareness and discipline to make what men find attractive a permanent reflection of who they are.

  • @ppearson35N
    @ppearson35N ปีที่แล้ว +6

    4:20 did it ever dawn on her that he just realizes that she isn’t good for him? He could’ve just been tryna feel you out and realized ya ass ain’t who you think you are

  • @bucktoothbutch
    @bucktoothbutch ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Critique is going to keep coming due to the lessons being a WHOLE life curriculum. If a woman misses these lessons from k-12 then yes it will appear to be neverending. Critique will also depend on the man giving criticism. Depending on his wants and his circles and his prospects. A person outside your ethnicity has different conditions/restrictions placed on their advancement/ overall existence from birth thereby allowing them to chalk that up as you just being this stereotype they have come to believe that you are.

    • @Cahluvca
      @Cahluvca ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Criticism equals growth...self and from others. This enabling environment brings arrested development

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Non black men not only see BW as the stereotype, they will gice them less wiggle room to mess up. But, we see that even black men dont want you bc of youe behavior and actions then... 🤷‍♂️

  • @mediocretomodern4126
    @mediocretomodern4126 ปีที่แล้ว

    Saying you don’t know if you’re ready to be a wife, then simultaneously saying you’re ready for a committed relationship is kinda crazy when the goal of the committed relationship is marriage, sounds crazy. Couple that with the questioning of men’s willingness to commit and it sounds insane.

  • @dasmith1207
    @dasmith1207 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    In the US as far back as the 30's, most people have desired to be considered average and that included women. They just wanted to fit in comfortably, and I understood that at the ages of 7,8. My father's wouldn't subscribe and I was taught to always do my best, I got use to the surprise/ shock and awe and dismissed it as a byproduct non-essential. Homegirl didn't show understanding of the "law of averages" with her taking on the bottom of the barrel observation. She has low cognizance for the spectrum of "lovely ladies" worldwide or local. Probably due to the fact she sees reality specifically thru a woman's lens (never having to date women as a man, and I would NOT suggest that experiment). Never wine & cheesing with the elite or scraping with the scourge of society can limit your interpretations. Most women have that same difficulty.

  • @PA-qv2dy
    @PA-qv2dy ปีที่แล้ว

    In the beginning, she says she doesn’t want to blame anyone, then proceeds to blame the men!! Things aren’t working for you, you’re the common denominator.

  • @MassiveReset
    @MassiveReset ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “… I don’t want to place blame. I want to be neutral…”
    Where there is a problem there is an opportunity to correct it. Perhaps she understands where a lot of this can be corrected by a particular group and does not want to deal with the backlash of speaking the truth?
    Lastly, as stated, by noted, historian, Howard Zinn. “… you can’t stay neutral on a moving train…”
    In short, if you choose to be part of the solution, instead of the problem at some point, you have to pick a side.

    • @bplayerr1
      @bplayerr1 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I want to be neutral... = i wont be accountable and dont judge me... and inmediately proceeds to shit on men.

    • @MassiveReset
      @MassiveReset ปีที่แล้ว

      @@bplayerr1 more men need to call this out. The thing is men are more drama averse on average than women it seems. Men seem to either avoid the conflict or tune it out. Either way, the problem ever gets solved.

  • @TopFlightMichael
    @TopFlightMichael 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Great video

  • @raharmonnelson7537
    @raharmonnelson7537 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That's exactly what they mean by soft life....

  • @quintinsanders13
    @quintinsanders13 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Terrible way to end this video. Her last take was super trash. He needed to rebut that before he stopped the camera from rolling.

  • @malikmanism
    @malikmanism ปีที่แล้ว

    Its funny because im 28, engaged with a 2 year old and make $200k + a year as an engineer and im just starting to get into entrepreneurship. Also my friend group is around the same age and making a good amount as well and most are single.

  • @LRich44
    @LRich44 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Also, bro please start uploading these clips to Instagram 🙏🏾

    • @wnttalk
      @wnttalk  ปีที่แล้ว

      Some are there already

  • @iamwinstonpslack
    @iamwinstonpslack ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Friendship & family relationship don't translate to romantic relationships .. you can be friends with any one you not taking everybody home to meet the parents can compare those your family not tryna get physical with you

  • @user-nd8is6ey4t
    @user-nd8is6ey4t 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The critique does end. Women leave the marriages, leave for a step up, negate the last man and play the victim and savior. Every complaint she speaks of is exactly what black women have said about black men. To relegate a man’s complaint to not wanting a black woman to thrive is a horrible take and shows no respect or gives no validity to BM sentiments.

  • @humus4000
    @humus4000 ปีที่แล้ว

    Remember our parents was not educated but they were good people but these days if don’t have degrees you not considered a man who able to take care of a woman some of us is able to work 2 jobs to make it through..

  • @dominicamoakobaah9516
    @dominicamoakobaah9516 ปีที่แล้ว

    If men who are older than you are not taking you serious for relationships, check yourself.

  • @yoobro29
    @yoobro29 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I want to know your response to that last statement

  • @kortsls
    @kortsls ปีที่แล้ว

    People are too selfish. It’s a reoccurring theme. A relationship is literally sharing

  • @ChrisDavis-wi4yn
    @ChrisDavis-wi4yn ปีที่แล้ว +1

    She blames everything but herself. She is the wishy-washy person he is talking about.

  • @shavonneo1121
    @shavonneo1121 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If she knew what she wanted, and taught herself how to be a wife, a Man that she needed would come in her life and marry her. She would be in a committed relationship! Lose weight, have a wife mentally and men your age and those up to the 35 age range you were speaking of would walk your way. But she doesn’t know what she wants, she’s not trained or ready to be a wife, but wants to be in a committed relationship?!?! There is no greater commitment than a marriage…

  • @noahcrockett9641
    @noahcrockett9641 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The thing about these quoted trends is that they half define it and twist it with who they want it to be. In that case it voids the intention of anyone who uses them in the right way or not. Guilty by association just like the fake hair and lashes guys always talk about. What's so hard to understand about something so simple?
    Also the term "pick me" should be aimed to the ones who claim they have "options" by race, same sex, and other same race possible companions all at the same time while being single.

  • @mrblackj5787
    @mrblackj5787 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    around the 30;00 mark ,bro you to smart for them

  • @2madwithaj
    @2madwithaj ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I'm usually on same page with her. I think too much consumption of certain narratives does start to become an unending loop of complaints that almost feel like we don't want a resolution just to keep this going. Also I would like to understand how exactly are women expected to move if we change some of our ways, whether it be how we talk or carry ourselves etc, but then it's looked at as not who you really are? Then how exactly do we fix things

    • @wnttalk
      @wnttalk  ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Very fair point. Let's do a live to explore this further.

    • @meagain7828
      @meagain7828 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think its because most women are fluent in chameleonese. Once the convos touch base the true colors (attitude) comes out. Doesn't have to be nasty, just a certain mindset and since most women have a hive mentality men then generalise their experiences. A woman that does the real work becomes a "pickme" and most women dont want to break the code. E.g in this conversation when she started saying women should do the work for themselves not to get a man (what's wrong with doing the work for a man if thats what the man wants and thats whom you want? But there seems to be an undertone of cant give the BM anything he asks for that would be too co-operative so lets say i did it for myself and he's just a by product. Lest we inflate his ego too much. All this while bringing a list of requirements for a man that's done the work.

    • @QUNYC7
      @QUNYC7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Fit, feminine, friendly and cooperative! Also, stop having children out of wedlock. Just to name a few.

    • @weskerwillie9044
      @weskerwillie9044 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      These are good points you bring up. But rest assured that you can always count on men to put other men in line, even in the manosphere environment. Sadly, such a social mechanism seems to be missing on the part of women which is largely why the manosphere exists in the first place. Let me put it another way, historically, in every society, there have always been issues that majority of women of the time could all agree is a problem, certain dysfunctions among men. But if we could time travel to those times you would see that such dysfunctions weren't the accepted standard at the Time. Take for instance, there were times when it was no big deal for a man to loose his temper and slap his wife, but this didn't make such acts seem any less ugly as we today consider them. All I'm trying to emphasize is that men keep a very good check on men and that has effectively been the case for literally thousands of years. If the very standard and view of modern women against men (the disrespect is quite frankly unimaginable) hasn't caused what you're scared of despite how bad we feel about it then men the manosphere won't change that. Already the damage is done. Men of today are so unwilling to marry because minus the anti man standard of today, everything that should make men find marriage attractive are being stripped away. Sadly what you are scared of is already the reality. That is why the manoshpere exists

    • @tonys5631
      @tonys5631 ปีที่แล้ว

      Appearently, we can’t change anything. Women want change from men but not from themselves. Remember women carry the standards…men enforce them. If our women lead with poor standards they produce low standard families(boys, girls). We are in a toilet bowl of diminishing standards.

  • @damnfoolz
    @damnfoolz ปีที่แล้ว

    They think the soft life is an outfit they can change in & out of….

  • @dcgci3
    @dcgci3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really don't agree with the dating outside of the race topic being easier I feel like black women Automatically become softer when dating white men most of them change the way they act towards black when getting with a white dude and I feel like all we're asking is the way you act with the white men act with us

  • @daphza
    @daphza ปีที่แล้ว

    I really wonder how much does West African and African American social constructs align.

  • @tonys5631
    @tonys5631 ปีที่แล้ว

    What do blk wmn expect would happen after 40yrs of attacking blk men? Do you actually believe there wouldn’t be any repercussions?

  • @Thefive5
    @Thefive5 ปีที่แล้ว

    I started to see exactly why she's single towards the end. Instead of stating the obvious she rather play victim. Had a ex that had mastered that bs.. why is it so hard for women to be honest with themselves? How will you ever improve?

  • @duanewoodson9804
    @duanewoodson9804 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Trojan horse is not a good thing. Chameleon is not what any man would want.

  • @tonys5631
    @tonys5631 ปีที่แล้ว

    It’s interesting that blk wmn go out of their way to reject the requirement to show what they bring to the table. If you’re a wmn reading this…go to the dating apps and make a profile as a man a see the number of single middle aged wmn dying alone on their egos. While the desperation is written all over their face and profile.

  • @horsepowerchef
    @horsepowerchef ปีที่แล้ว

    7:00 Only other people may consider a person to be wise, to assign yourself the characteristic of being "wise" is meaningless...

  • @shotstanton4666
    @shotstanton4666 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The women of the 50s 60s we're WILLING PICK MES

    • @6feet6figures
      @6feet6figures ปีที่แล้ว

      Because they had no choice

  • @delvinking5151
    @delvinking5151 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "Well who can I be, this is a lot of harsh feedback, maybe it's easier to just divest because so much is being asked of me"
    Black Men: oh its cool when they do it... it's a problem when I do it....
    And we don't go a 10th as hard as they do and its been all of 8 months vs 40yrs lol

    • @queenbae6396
      @queenbae6396 ปีที่แล้ว

      8 months lol men like Tommy sotomayonnaise were around when I was growing and men of his contemporaries degraded black women stop the CAP Sir. This been like how it is since the “Pimps and hos” era

    • @delvinking5151
      @delvinking5151 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@queenbae6396 first of all.... no nigga wit mayonnaise in his name even matters 🤦🏿‍♂️ and you apparently don't understand sarcasm or figure of speech.... but go head sis.... go awf kween.keen.. 😂

  • @Charlay_Charlay
    @Charlay_Charlay ปีที่แล้ว

    The "soft girl life" is another way for masculine BW to act like something they are not to just to attract more men. Women need to understand your either genuinely yourself or your just a conartist. No in between. These ladies today lie and soft-coat things so much its hard to tell whats real and whats fake. This is why standards are neccessary so you can filter out the fake ones.

  • @nextgenerationsshow
    @nextgenerationsshow ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Definitely not too many options for men and women.