The saddest situation is when a child has a narcissistic parent or parents and their behaviors are all the child knows when it comes to love. As they grow they accept narcissist as friends and intimate partners. I’m so happy to see awareness being shared about this topic. I believe narcissistic abuse is the most horrific experience and the cycle will continue with different faces until a person is educated on what is happening to them ❤
I really look forward to her new book. In the meantime, the book “Narcissistic Fathers: How To Deal with a Toxic Father and PTSD” by Caroline Foster put it all into perspective for me in addition to Dr. Ramani’s You Tube videos.
My mother is a narcissist and I just kept attracting these people into my life. It's been a very painful journey for me but I'm educating myself at 60.
Soooooooo helpful, thank you. We have the opportunity to learn about this personality type now. Trump is offering the opportunity of a lifetime for the MASTER CLASS in learning the skills to deal with a narcissist. Time to wake up out of the coma of the games they play on the mind. We can do this !!! Thank you so much Dr. ROMANI💗🙏👍🤗
I’ve been following Doctor Ramini for years. She’s gotten me through the worse years of my life. Narcissists are real + everything she says is true. She’s been my rock
it is. i feel almost numb to it but it’s a painful numbness. i thought my childhood was normal and i was just weak or something. looking back at it with adult eyes is almost too much to handle
When I found-out, I felt my entire life, was a lie. I felt so unbelievably lost---I couldn't see how I would ever find my way, back "home", so to speak.
Narcassism is out of control and these people shouldn't be in society, abusing people and causing them physical and mental health problems for life. But it's not as simple as "I met a jerk." No... these people are coverts, often. Disguised as humble sweet people who manipulate and spin you in emotional circles.
I finally began to feel like I wasn't going crazy, when I started researching narcissism on TH-cam, and I saw the 1940s movie Gaslight. I finally understood how truly wicked my former husband was. I knew I was on to something when he searched my TH-cam history, and started talking me about the bad information on TH-cam. I haven't seen him in 9 years. Bliss.
My ex-husband's famous comment every time we had a disagreement was "the problem is..." And of course, the problem was always something I said or didn't say, did or didn't do. It was never him. And when we did have 'discussions' it was always him lecturing me, it was never an open evenly discussed conversation. So glad I'm out of that relationship. I have 2 children with him and finally after all these years, my youngest is finally seeing him for who he is.
In 2016 I left my narcissist after a 17 year relationship. At the time I wasn’t educated but once I found out about narcissistic personality disorder my life made perfect sense. I ignored red flags, a term not even in my vocabulary. I tried so hard and loved this man very much to the point that I forgave abuse over and over again. I am now 59. I was widowed at age 35 and he came into my life as a hero and adopted my sons. I put him on my deed (for no equity) and business. I had to buy my own home and business from this man. I would be further along in my healing but when I left him he told my oldest son that his birth father may not be his real father and that I stole his college savings. Both complete lies. Sadly, I have not seen my son in 3 years. Our family is shattered and I am forever heartbroken. Thankfully I do have loving relationships with my other 2 children but the situation hurts them as well. Thank you Dr. Ramani you have taught me so much.
Don’t forget the covert narcissist who try very hard to hide their narcissism from you. Are their signs, yes but they are very subtle. I think the biggest red flag to any narcissist is they move very fast. Always take any new relationships slowly. No matter how much they try to sweep you off your feet. Set boundaries. Trust your instincts and don’t ignore the red flags no matter how small. Educate yourselves on narcissism. Don’t just settle for anyone just because you are lonely. We all deserve better.
Sounds like what happened to me but got out of the relationship sooner. I was widowed at age 36, and shortly after a long time work associate of my late husband poured on the charm and started asking me out. For the first six months, he was amazing and focused on everything he knew I enjoyed, then the chaos started, constant cycles of triggering an emotional reaction, which started with breaking dates for ridiculous reasons, then a few days later I got a sob story on money he owes the IRS.....so that was the hint to lend him money and things would return to normal. Then he'd withhold all those things he knew I enjoyed until I complied with his demands. At any rate, I never did loan him any money, while I ignored many red flags I didn't ignore that one. Never married him, he had subtly suggested that as well.
Ouch. Mine took one of the kids too. I don't want to give false hope, but adults do review their childhoods and figure it out. Whether that happens in your family or not - and whether your son ever tells you he figured it out - you are not alone and you did NOTHING wrong to deserve that.
Sure its good that awareness is being created..... I also talk to my 10 year old kid about this kind of things, i think the early they know the better so they don't fall victim of this narc monsters 👹
I 1,000% ended up in a relationship with a narcissist because i was raised by one. I assumed the emotional and physical abuse was normal. The narcissist i spent 16 years with just took over where my mother left off abusing me. He used me financially and emotionally. I am absolutely traumatized by what they both put me thru. I’m so glad people like dr ramani exist or i would be in such a horrible hole of depression and anxiety.
I'm sorry you were traumatized, but you WILL heal in time, and the best part is that you got out, which is the 1st step to regaining control over yourself, your emotions & feelings. So, kudos to you!
Same. Exactly. Raised by a physically abusive narc father. I thought it was normal. So, of course I repeated the pattern over & over again. This last one -- whew -- he was absolutely the worst;(he) almost ended my life!! But, also " Thanks to him" I went into trauma-informed therapy these past two years, got away from him and am healing all of my childhood wounds 😊
This is SUCH an important topic and deserves a lot more attention. Narcissistic abuse is so pervasive in our society. It’s often the victims that get blamed because narcissists are so charming.
Dr. Ramani is a lifesaver. Not only does she teach you how to identify and deal with the narcissist. She helps survivors of narcissistic abuse to forgive themselves and rebuild their lives.
I hope many people benefit from this as well as her TH-cam channel and other books. She is so knowledgeable and genuinely wants people to be able to manage narcissists in her life. So glad she got this exposure.
If you are a giving person, a person who sincerely cares about your feelings and the feelings of others. If you were raised to learn how to navigate your feelings and to feel open enough and safe enough to share them and expect others to do the same (because you do), that's when you become the supply for them. Doctor Ramani is amazing.
Since you have a reputation for seeing the best in people, they will use this against you knowing you will tolerate their abuse with the hopes that you can get them to change or see the error of their ways. It will not happen. You cannot win or change them as long as they have any connection with (power over) you.
Took me years to heal, find the person I was supposed to be, and then go NO Contact with the birthmother ,and GCS, who is possibly even more sick and conniving. I found Dr. Ramani during therapy, and cont. to learn and protect myself. I adore this lady! ❤
Hi. I know your post is 4 weeks old, but it's a good post on an important topic. I'm stuck though - GCS? Glascow Coma Scale? Gender Confirmation Surgery? Sort me out please. Thanks.
My 93 year old mother passed in 2023. I felt numb. I felt relief. She was so needy and childlike her entire life...my entire life. As her oldest daughter, I was there to meet her evey need ...in her mind.
i hope you can heal and learn to have your own needs. separate from others. it’s the most important thing in my opinion for those that had been abused.
Wow. My mother completely consumed my entire life up until I married; then? I needed help with a health crisis and she quite easily ignored my need, executed decisions that made my situation worse, and now? I’m free and SHE’S the victim. What? Yes. Her controlling hatred turned on HER!
I am so sorry. You were robbed. I hope you can go on to create loving situations and find nice people to spend time and create memories with. Thats the only cure when you have been robbed of kindness and guidance parents should be providing. Hugs.
My therapist used to ask me "why would you go to a place where you feel worse than where you are now?" I stopped going to family holidays, and focussed on my own family- my son, dil and grchildren. I felt so much better. Before my Son was married and started his family, there were Holidays I spent alone. It was sad that I had a family that had driven me to that decision, but I was much happier, and they were crazier for it 😂 I mean, how do they function without a scapegoat? 🎉
Oh yes. As Covid restrictions were easing up, I went to a restaurant with a friend, with others to join us shortly. The server said we had to wait to be seated as a group -- some kind of pandemic thing. Instantly, my friend was seething, spitting profanities and treating the server with contempt. Eventually I realized that rage is her default setting. That anger was directed at me a few times, and she is now my ex-friend.
I was in a situation after my Family & I suffered a tragic loss and...that ex-friend was very jealous of the situation & the attention(With other friends & family)along with how they thought I should of Grieved. I dealt with it for 2 very long years & I decided to end it & we don't speak or see each other at all till this very day.
Can’t you help but wonder about what these people are thinking!! Something awful happens + they become jealous about the attention you’re getting as a result of the event. Would they have rather the event have happen to themselves?? They are terrible people who enjoy others’ suffering. They dismiss you as if you’re not worthy of their time or attention. They are sick demented evil beings who only want to cause others pain + grief. They don’t care about anyone but themselves
Both my parents were/is narcissistic parents. To the fact where they were having affairs with each other behind their spouses back. Saw my mom on Thanksgiving after months of not talking to her. I went into to it with no expectations while creating emotional boundaries.
Such a timely and important topic. Narcissism and sociopathy need to be discussed even more than they are now because it is a public health and safety issue. We need coercive control laws like they have in the UK.
Dr Ramani, you are awesome!!!! So happy other people on TV will see you and benefit from your wisdom. You are my favorite You Tube channel. You’ve saved my sanity🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for bringing her in. She sets some good examples for everyone. It’s a good way to be aware of what a narcissist does to a person and how to get away from it. It’s better to get out of the situation in order to save your life.
I've lived with a narcissistic family for many years. I feel confident when I say, Dr. Ramani is the foremost authority on narcissisim. The knowledge I've gained from her has helped keep me alive. I am feeling my own self worth after many years.
To everyone who wonders how there are so many narcissists around us. We are a country who is lead by narcissistic people, watch reality shows of narcissistic women, and then loose hours of our day generating our narcissistic social media posts……. This isn’t likely to decrease any time soon.
We are a country of people tellin' their kids, they are special; then, the kids go out into the world thinking they are entitled to the same special treatment, from everybody else.
I work in a mental health clinic the director and office manager are both narcissist’s bipolar, and one of them has OCD, I’m their bouncing ball. They don’t intimidate me. it makes me happy peaceful that I’m going to work everyday grateful that help a lot trust me. & I LOVE my job so much 💗
The timing of this is absolutely spooky: I was literally just told last night by my 83 year old narcissistic mother that “well, you’re just not the daughter I thought you would be” even though I have spent the last several years doing everything I could to care for her & my dad (deceased 2 years ago now) during & after both of my sisters went through cancer treatments & died (younger sister died a year ago). I’m relieved that I’m not spending the holiday with her & my alcoholic brother-in-law who is her dependent leech.
@@A.Rose.G I had a similar thought later that night, but I’m glad I didn’t say it to her as it would put me down on her level & I’m trying not to be that mean. But I’m afraid if I’m with her too much I won’t be able to hold my tongue.
Also, Congratulations to Dr. Ramani! This Discussion Needs to be Spoken About! Amazing, I also recognize the other women. This is an Epic shift in the Right Direction. Praise God🎉🥳
after 45 years I just figured out this year that I was NEVER INCLUDED IN CHOICES , I was INFORMED about the choices he made ,always after the fact and in reviewing our whole life I now realize I was INFORMED about EVERYTHING. I WAS NEVER ASKED TO JOIN THE DESISION MAKING , we're married and the same age with 2 children and everybody thinks he is the greatest guy on earth.
Also leaving a narcissist can trigger them to become obsessed and to stalk you. They make fake social media accounts/ fake phone numbers. There can be a very dangerous side to their personality. Stay safe and remain no contact. The less reactive you are to them - the better.
Yes, this! My narcissist ex stalked me for almost a year after I left him. He constantly called my place of work, asking to speak with me. My bosses never handed me the phone but his behavior got me fired. He would send cards and letters to my PO Box. He would call and text me from various phone numbers. I wasn’t on social media back then (2008), but I’ve since created a few accounts and have had to block him there, since all these years later, he’s STILL trying to get to me.
Dr. Ramani has helped me heal from narcissistic abuse and to spot a narcissist. Just this week I met one while working out who went so far to try to be superior that he said he did more reps than I did even though he started after I did. The grandiose statements just got worse from there.
She is a lifesaver! ❤ Bless her. It is over used and misinterpreted for sure. I come from a truly narcissistic mother who ended up raising my youngest sister to be too. I’m an empath so it was tough especially when I woke up. Now that I’m older, happy successful she has turned mean and ugly towards me. I pray for both of them.
Now I understand gaslighting and narcisismo. I can describe harassment I was suffering with my managers at VA Hospital and no help from EEO, DOL all the abuse and harshness I suffered ending up with PTO.
What if that narcissist is my mother in law and I can't just cut her out of my (or my husband's) life? I'm practicing setting boundaries between her and my children. Every conversation is about her. Whenever she interacts with my children, even when I'm there, she has to be the most important, the best, the one solving all their problems. I've been through postpartum depression twice with my 2 kids and didn't realize the impacts of her behaviors on me until now. I've also been seeing a therapist so I'll share with her what I've heard in this video. Thanks for this!
3:05 It took decades before my husband started getting triggered by those little things I'd say, like, asking him to park in the shade because my health has taken a dive and heat kills me, especially in over 100 degree weather. He had me on that pedestal until my health tanked, or at least he acted like that outwardly. There were a ton of "little" things that were always there but I couldn't see, having come from a very dysfunctional family myself. So I believed his family when they acted as if they were a "normal" family. They are the more covert/vulnerable types.
1. "Narcissists at core are: Deeply insecure, like to be in control, Grandiose" 2. "Everything in relationship blamed on me, Took no accountability, severe lack of empathy..." 3. "Able to heal by surrounding myself with family, friends" 4. "you deserve unconditional love"
This is such Great advice! Perfect for right before the holidays. We all have someone like this at the dinner table and Dr. Ramani Durvasula gave some Amazing advice. 🥰💞👍🏻
All of the comments I've seen pertain to family members or romantic partners. My one and only co-worker is a narcissist and she makes my life a nightmare. I finally reached my breaking point and had a very productive conservation with our boss about her just this morning.
It’s incredibly satisfying to know that the information about narcissism is out there now so the young people of the world can have the knowledge to understand what’s happening in their environment. What’s not incredibly satisfying is how media is now showing that estranged parents as sympathetic. Any adult child who goes no contact with a narcissistic parent doesn’t do it to hurt anyone....they do it to save their own emotional well being. No contact is a hard decision but it’s the best solution.
We have a family member like that who shows up for everything uninvited just to create hateful gossip and uses expensive gifts to weasel in. We got smart and formed a united front and didn't reveal actual dates or times and it worked.
Dr Ramani has been such a life saver, I can’t thank her enough for helping me navigate life with a narc. I didn’t know what narcissistic abuse was until a friend directed me to her YT channel and it’s been life altering! You deserve some kind of Nobel prize. Merci beaucoup
Having been exposed to this type of malignant toxicity for decades, my mantra of gratitude is: so happy I'm not like them and grateful I learned how not to behave. Also, this BS stops with me!!
Was in relationship with a narcissist for 35 years...not knowing what narcissistic behavior was ..I was raised back in the 60 and 70s...where you OBEYED U PARENTS! DIDN'T HAVE A VOICE! SO THOUGHT MY SPOUSE BEHAVIOR WAS NORMAL...HENCE I STAYED AS LONG AS I DID 😭😭😭 At 68 suffering with all kinds of medical issues...due to that stress/trauma...coz I also felt TRAPPED... PUTTING UP WITH THIS ABUSER ALL THOSE YEARS!!!
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the person who needs to change, is you. Like with anything else, the buck starts and stops with you. If there is a way to deal with a narcissist, that way is to heal the pain within yourself that creates a vulnerable space for that narcissist to nest. Personal boundaries is all of the protection you need from a person who is intent on sucking the life out of you.🦋
The saddest situation is when a child has a narcissistic parent or parents and their behaviors are all the child knows when it comes to love. As they grow they accept narcissist as friends and intimate partners. I’m so happy to see awareness being shared about this topic. I believe narcissistic abuse is the most horrific experience and the cycle will continue with different faces until a person is educated on what is happening to them ❤
Agree! You hit the nail on the head. Educating yourself and taking time to get to know someone before committing.
your comment describes me to a tee. so grateful for the information I have learned from Dr. Ramani!!!
I really look forward to her new book. In the meantime, the book “Narcissistic Fathers: How To Deal with a Toxic Father and PTSD” by Caroline Foster put it all into perspective for me in addition to Dr. Ramani’s You Tube videos.
My mother is a narcissist and I just kept attracting these people into my life. It's been a very painful journey for me but I'm educating myself at 60.
Soooooooo helpful, thank you. We have the opportunity to learn about this personality type now. Trump is offering the opportunity of a lifetime for the MASTER CLASS in learning the skills to deal with a narcissist. Time to wake up out of the coma of the games they play on the mind. We can do this !!! Thank you so much Dr. ROMANI💗🙏👍🤗
Best advice my therapist gave me was: “ You can love someone (parent, sibling, etc) but not have a relationship with them.”
It’s about time this woman is spreading her knowledge of narcissism across national television
Yes! Dr. Ramani is the best! ❤
Dr Ramani has been speaking about narcissism for years.
Dr. Ramani has a TH-cam channel.
they shoulda brought out Jada Pinkett-Smith as a live example in the flesh as a demo
I was able to interview Dr. Ramani for a show years ago, she’s the real deal!
I’ve been following Doctor Ramini for years. She’s gotten me through the worse years of my life. Narcissists are real + everything she says is true. She’s been my rock
Same here
💯
Me too
💯 Dr R has helped me stay sane just from TH-cam videos alone. ❤her. Mad respect for her
Yes - same! I’ve been watching her TH-cam videos for a while now and gleaning a lot of wisdom from them. I’m so happy that they had her on the show! ❤
Having a parent that’s a narcissist is really tough.
it is. i feel almost numb to it but it’s a painful numbness. i thought my childhood was normal and i was just weak or something. looking back at it with adult eyes is almost too much to handle
It’s is, I feel like I’ve been mistreated my whole life. I didn’t even learn how to love myself. 😔
@@shelmie5❤
OP: You're tellin' ME!!!
When I found-out, I felt my entire life, was a lie. I felt so unbelievably lost---I couldn't see how I would ever find my way, back "home", so to speak.
Dr. Ramani is an excellent expert on narcissism.
An excellent narcissist
Dr. R should have been on the show with Jada. Now that would have been incredibly insightful.
@sweet2sour-bpd are u hurt, honey?
No, she's right. Ramani is also one of the crew@@deanvo503
She's my mentor ❤
Narcassism is out of control and these people shouldn't be in society, abusing people and causing them physical and mental health problems for life. But it's not as simple as "I met a jerk." No... these people are coverts, often. Disguised as humble sweet people who manipulate and spin you in emotional circles.
Well said, I agree. They will destroy your life and your health.
For sure.
Truer words, have not been spoken!!!
Like Dr Ramani?
You notice when they stay on their own topic for too long, and do not really like your topics of conversation, and show it..
I lvoe Dr. Ramani! She's brilliant. Today should have her on regularly.
yes!!!
Dr. R should have been on the show with Jada.
I finally began to feel like I wasn't going crazy, when I started researching narcissism on TH-cam, and I saw the 1940s movie Gaslight.
I finally understood how truly wicked my former husband was. I knew I was on to something when he searched my TH-cam history, and started talking me about the bad information on TH-cam.
I haven't seen him in 9 years. Bliss.
My ex-husband's famous comment every time we had a disagreement was "the problem is..." And of course, the problem was always something I said or didn't say, did or didn't do. It was never him. And when we did have 'discussions' it was always him lecturing me, it was never an open evenly discussed conversation. So glad I'm out of that relationship. I have 2 children with him and finally after all these years, my youngest is finally seeing him for who he is.
In 2016 I left my narcissist after a 17 year relationship. At the time I wasn’t educated but once I found out about narcissistic personality disorder my life made perfect sense. I ignored red flags, a term not even in my vocabulary. I tried so hard and loved this man very much to the point that I forgave abuse over and over again. I am now 59. I was widowed at age 35 and he came into my life as a hero and adopted my sons. I put him on my deed (for no equity) and business. I had to buy my own home and business from this man. I would be further along in my healing but when I left him he told my oldest son that his birth father may not be his real father and that I stole his college savings. Both complete lies. Sadly, I have not seen my son in 3 years. Our family is shattered and I am forever heartbroken. Thankfully I do have loving relationships with my other 2 children but the situation hurts them as well. Thank you Dr. Ramani you have taught me so much.
my heart goes out to you, friend. you are strong and kind and there are real people who really care for you unlike this freak
Don’t forget the covert narcissist who try very hard to hide their narcissism from you. Are their signs, yes but they are very subtle. I think the biggest red flag to any narcissist is they move very fast. Always take any new relationships slowly. No matter how much they try to sweep you off your feet. Set boundaries. Trust your instincts and don’t ignore the red flags no matter how small. Educate yourselves on narcissism. Don’t just settle for anyone just because you are lonely. We all deserve better.
Sounds like what happened to me but got out of the relationship sooner. I was widowed at age 36, and shortly after a long time work associate of my late husband poured on the charm and started asking me out. For the first six months, he was amazing and focused on everything he knew I enjoyed, then the chaos started, constant cycles of triggering an emotional reaction, which started with breaking dates for ridiculous reasons, then a few days later I got a sob story on money he owes the IRS.....so that was the hint to lend him money and things would return to normal. Then he'd withhold all those things he knew I enjoyed until I complied with his demands. At any rate, I never did loan him any money, while I ignored many red flags I didn't ignore that one. Never married him, he had subtly suggested that as well.
Ouch. Mine took one of the kids too. I don't want to give false hope, but adults do review their childhoods and figure it out. Whether that happens in your family or not - and whether your son ever tells you he figured it out - you are not alone and you did NOTHING wrong to deserve that.
Congratulations Dr Ramani in being in the today show!
Having narcissists in one’s life is so very tough. I’m thankful it’s being talked about more. 🙏🏻
Sure its good that awareness is being created..... I also talk to my 10 year old kid about this kind of things, i think the early they know the better so they don't fall victim of this narc monsters 👹
She’s very good, and “It’s Not You” is the perfect book title
This woman helped my partner deal with a narcissist at his workplace. A wonderful lady!!!
I 1,000% ended up in a relationship with a narcissist because i was raised by one. I assumed the emotional and physical abuse was normal. The narcissist i spent 16 years with just took over where my mother left off abusing me. He used me financially and emotionally. I am absolutely traumatized by what they both put me thru. I’m so glad people like dr ramani exist or i would be in such a horrible hole of depression and anxiety.
I'm sorry you were traumatized, but you WILL heal in time, and the best part is that you got out, which is the 1st step to regaining control over yourself, your emotions & feelings. So, kudos to you!
Same. Exactly. Raised by a physically abusive narc father. I thought it was normal. So, of course I repeated the pattern over & over again. This last one -- whew -- he was absolutely the worst;(he) almost ended my life!! But, also
" Thanks to him" I went into trauma-informed therapy these past two years, got away from him and am healing all of my childhood wounds 😊
Love Dr Ramani! Rocks it
Dr. Ramani has helped me so much. Finding her videos during COVID changed my life.
“You want to know what triggers a narcissist more than anything else? Reality”
True reality makes them sick to the core and makes them feel ashamed.
I often face my mother with reality no sugarcoating
Having dr Ramini I on your show is brilliance. I love her. She should be a regular
This is SUCH an important topic and deserves a lot more attention. Narcissistic abuse is so pervasive in our society. It’s often the victims that get blamed because narcissists are so charming.
Dr. Ramani is a lifesaver. Not only does she teach you how to identify and deal with the narcissist. She helps survivors of narcissistic abuse to forgive themselves and rebuild their lives.
I hope many people benefit from this as well as her TH-cam channel and other books. She is so knowledgeable and genuinely wants people to be able to manage narcissists in her life. So glad she got this exposure.
If you are a giving person, a person who sincerely cares about your feelings and the feelings of others. If you were raised to learn how to navigate your feelings and to feel open enough and safe enough to share them and expect others to do the same (because you do), that's when you become the supply for them. Doctor Ramani is amazing.
Since you have a reputation for seeing the best in people, they will use this against you knowing you will tolerate their abuse with the hopes that you can get them to change or see the error of their ways. It will not happen. You cannot win or change them as long as they have any connection with (power over) you.
I love Dr Ramani❤. Been following her for a few years. I thank 45 for helping more of us to focus on narcissism.
Wonderful to see Dr Ramani on your show. Her videos have helped me in ways I can't even express. Thank you.
Took me years to heal, find the person I was supposed to be, and then go NO Contact with the birthmother ,and GCS, who is possibly even more sick and conniving. I found Dr. Ramani during therapy, and cont. to learn and protect myself. I adore this lady! ❤
Hi. I know your post is 4 weeks old, but it's a good post on an important topic. I'm stuck though - GCS? Glascow Coma Scale? Gender Confirmation Surgery? Sort me out please. Thanks.
Be one the look out for these people! Do not ignore the red flags! Be vigilant! I'm glad this out in the forefront to expose these fools!!
Not "fools"; they are incredibly crafty---they're demons!!!
When they are in your family it's worse😢
My 93 year old mother passed in 2023.
I felt numb.
I felt relief.
She was so needy and childlike her entire life...my entire life.
As her oldest daughter, I was there to meet her evey need ...in her mind.
i hope you can heal and learn to have your own needs. separate from others. it’s the most important thing in my opinion for those that had been abused.
Wow.
My mother completely consumed my entire life up until I married; then? I needed help with a health crisis and she quite easily ignored my need, executed decisions that made my situation worse, and now? I’m free and SHE’S the victim.
What?
Yes.
Her controlling hatred turned on HER!
WoW
Enmeshment. Heaps of guilt that sucks the life out of a person. It's bananas to be held so responsible for someone else.
I am so sorry. You were robbed. I hope you can go on to create loving situations and find nice people to spend time and create memories with. Thats the only cure when you have been robbed of kindness and guidance parents should be providing. Hugs.
My therapist used to ask me "why would you go to a place where you feel worse than where you are now?" I stopped going to family holidays, and focussed on my own family- my son, dil and grchildren. I felt so much better. Before my Son was married and started his family, there were Holidays I spent alone. It was sad that I had a family that had driven me to that decision, but I was much happier, and they were crazier for it 😂 I mean, how do they function without a scapegoat? 🎉
I do the same thing now. Spend holidays alone, and you know what, it doesn't even bother me. I can't stand EVIL people.
Totally approve of the idea of being a moving target. Happy holidays!
She has helped me find so much peace. She is incredible.
me too man, got out of a 3 years of toxic relationship, and I have her to thank
Having an adult daughter who is a narcissist is so hard.
Oh yes. As Covid restrictions were easing up, I went to a restaurant with a friend, with others to join us shortly. The server said we had to wait to be seated as a group -- some kind of pandemic thing. Instantly, my friend was seething, spitting profanities and treating the server with contempt. Eventually I realized that rage is her default setting. That anger was directed at me a few times, and she is now my ex-friend.
I’m thrilled Dr. Ramani is making this life-changing info. mainstream. She got me through when I didn’t think I could survive it.
I was in a situation after my Family & I suffered a tragic loss and...that ex-friend was very jealous of the situation & the attention(With other friends & family)along with how they thought I should of Grieved. I dealt with it for 2 very long years & I decided to end it & we don't speak or see each other at all till this very day.
Can’t you help but wonder about what these people are thinking!! Something awful happens + they become jealous about the attention you’re getting as a result of the event. Would they have rather the event have happen to themselves?? They are terrible people who enjoy others’ suffering. They dismiss you as if you’re not worthy of their time or attention. They are sick demented evil beings who only want to cause others pain + grief. They don’t care about anyone but themselves
We love Dr. Ramani!
Both my parents were/is narcissistic parents. To the fact where they were having affairs with each other behind their spouses back. Saw my mom on Thanksgiving after months of not talking to her. I went into to it with no expectations while creating emotional boundaries.
Thank you Dr. Ramani!
She is just amazing ❤ forever grateful for her work
She helped me understand it wasn’t me and I’m finally free. Thank you so much ❤️
Such a timely and important topic. Narcissism and sociopathy need to be discussed even more than they are now because it is a public health and safety issue. We need coercive control laws like they have in the UK.
It's a friggin' epidemic!!!
How's that going to work?
@@karlabritfeld7104
I know you weren't talking to me, but I just wanted to throw my two cents, in.... Maybe, laws against bullying?
Dr Ramani, you are awesome!!!! So happy other people on TV will see you and benefit from your wisdom. You are my favorite You Tube channel. You’ve saved my sanity🎉🎉🎉
Thank you for bringing her in. She sets some good examples for everyone. It’s a good way to be aware of what a narcissist does to a person and how to get away from it. It’s better to get out of the situation in order to save your life.
I've lived with a narcissistic family for many years. I feel confident when I say, Dr. Ramani is the foremost authority on narcissisim. The knowledge I've gained from her has helped keep me alive. I am feeling my own self worth after many years.
Me too. I was able to discard. I now have a peaceful life. Not the scapegoat any more.
To everyone who wonders how there are so many narcissists around us. We are a country who is lead by narcissistic people, watch reality shows of narcissistic women, and then loose hours of our day generating our narcissistic social media posts……. This isn’t likely to decrease any time soon.
my gut tells me it’s going to come to a head for some reason because something has got to give
@@NotTheVibe🙏
We are a country of people tellin' their kids, they are special; then, the kids go out into the world thinking they are entitled to the same special treatment, from everybody else.
I don't think it is really about that. It is that there are so many bad parents. This is where NPD stems from.
@@hollystiener16 🎯
This is so true. I had a manager that is a narcissist
that had to be awful
My life right now, and not sure what to do about it.
I work in a mental health clinic the director and office manager are both narcissist’s bipolar, and one of them has OCD, I’m their bouncing ball. They don’t intimidate me. it makes me happy peaceful that I’m going to work everyday grateful that help a lot trust me. & I LOVE my job so much 💗
The timing of this is absolutely spooky: I was literally just told last night by my 83 year old narcissistic mother that “well, you’re just not the daughter I thought you would be” even though I have spent the last several years doing everything I could to care for her & my dad (deceased 2 years ago now) during & after both of my sisters went through cancer treatments & died (younger sister died a year ago). I’m relieved that I’m not spending the holiday with her & my alcoholic brother-in-law who is her dependent leech.
Well, she's just not the mother you thought she would be.
@@A.Rose.G I had a similar thought later that night, but I’m glad I didn’t say it to her as it would put me down on her level & I’m trying not to be that mean. But I’m afraid if I’m with her too much I won’t be able to hold my tongue.
@@dianeb95 yeah .. that would be yelling. Oh... You're always the victim, I'm the worse mother in the world. But know we see it at least. ♥️
Dr Ramani is life saving
Also, Congratulations to Dr. Ramani!
This Discussion Needs to be Spoken About!
Amazing, I also recognize the other women.
This is an Epic shift in the Right Direction. Praise God🎉🥳
after 45 years I just figured out this year that I was NEVER INCLUDED IN CHOICES , I was INFORMED about the choices he made ,always after the fact and in reviewing our whole life I now realize I was INFORMED about EVERYTHING. I WAS NEVER ASKED TO JOIN THE DESISION MAKING , we're married and the same age with 2 children and everybody thinks he is the greatest guy on earth.
She is my healing guru.
Also leaving a narcissist can trigger them to become obsessed and to stalk you. They make fake social media accounts/ fake phone numbers. There can be a very dangerous side to their personality. Stay safe and remain no contact. The less reactive you are to them - the better.
Yes, this!
My narcissist ex stalked me for almost a year after I left him. He constantly called my place of work, asking to speak with me. My bosses never handed me the phone but his behavior got me fired.
He would send cards and letters to my PO Box. He would call and text me from various phone numbers. I wasn’t on social media back then (2008), but I’ve since created a few accounts and have had to block him there, since all these years later, he’s STILL trying to get to me.
Dr. Ramani is truly saving lives.
Dr. Ramini is on youtube. Have learned so much from her.
Dr. Ramani has helped me heal from narcissistic abuse and to spot a narcissist. Just this week I met one while working out who went so far to try to be superior that he said he did more reps than I did even though he started after I did. The grandiose statements just got worse from there.
Dr. Ramani is the BEST. I love all of her content on TH-cam. She's a superstar helping all of us!
My boss is a narcissist. Luckily for our team, he's stepping down in the new year.
I'm in this. Remember: it can turn from emotionally to physically abusive. And really, really scary.
Excellent guest and topic
Dr. Ramani’s healing program has. Completely changed my life. I am forever grateful to her.
Great tips from the always helpful Dr Ramani. And perfect timing right before the holidays. Thank you!
She is a lifesaver! ❤ Bless her.
It is over used and misinterpreted for sure. I come from a truly narcissistic mother who ended up raising my youngest sister to be too. I’m an empath so it was tough especially when I woke up. Now that I’m older, happy successful she has turned mean and ugly towards me. I pray for both of them.
Now I understand gaslighting and narcisismo. I can describe harassment I was suffering with my managers at VA Hospital and no help from EEO, DOL all the abuse and harshness I suffered ending up with PTO.
Dr Ramani’s work has really helped me to understand what my narcissistic wife has put me through. I’m really unwell now.
Very helpful. I definitely have dealt with narcissists in my life. Still a work in process setting boundaries.
What if that narcissist is my mother in law and I can't just cut her out of my (or my husband's) life? I'm practicing setting boundaries between her and my children.
Every conversation is about her. Whenever she interacts with my children, even when I'm there, she has to be the most important, the best, the one solving all their problems. I've been through postpartum depression twice with my 2 kids and didn't realize the impacts of her behaviors on me until now. I've also been seeing a therapist so I'll share with her what I've heard in this video. Thanks for this!
Dr. Ramani's YT channel is my go-to source for understanding & healing from narc relationships. Love her!
3:05 It took decades before my husband started getting triggered by those little things I'd say, like, asking him to park in the shade because my health has taken a dive and heat kills me, especially in over 100 degree weather. He had me on that pedestal until my health tanked, or at least he acted like that outwardly.
There were a ton of "little" things that were always there but I couldn't see, having come from a very dysfunctional family myself. So I believed his family when they acted as if they were a "normal" family. They are the more covert/vulnerable types.
Dr. Ramani in the HOUSE!!! Thank you!
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE - Dr. Ramani!! Been watching her forever - She has saved my sanity!! Spread the wisdom.
LOVE this DR!!! Love her channel and how she perfectly explains things that are hard to understand!
1. "Narcissists at core are: Deeply insecure, like to be in control, Grandiose"
2. "Everything in relationship blamed on me, Took no accountability, severe lack of empathy..."
3. "Able to heal by surrounding myself with family, friends"
4. "you deserve unconditional love"
Love to see Dr. Ramani! Please bring her back ❤
Q
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The Dr. is amazing!! Her videos truly helped me at a very bad time in my life. Be sure to watch her videos.!!!
I wish I would’ve listened to Dr. Ramani before I married a narc. I didn’t see the red flags 🚩 for narcissism it would’ve saved me so much drama 😅.
This is such Great advice! Perfect for right before the holidays. We all have someone like this at the dinner table and Dr. Ramani Durvasula gave some Amazing advice. 🥰💞👍🏻
Dr. Ramani is ABSOLUTELY THE BEST‼️🏆
All of the comments I've seen pertain to family members or romantic partners. My one and only co-worker is a narcissist and she makes my life a nightmare. I finally reached my breaking point and had a very productive conservation with our boss about her just this morning.
Dr Ramani is fantastic 🎉
Dr Ramini!! ❤
Dr. Ramani has saved me! ❤️🙏❤️
Keep it lite and keep it moving
It’s incredibly satisfying to know that the information about narcissism is out there now so the young people of the world can have the knowledge to understand what’s happening in their environment.
What’s not incredibly satisfying is how media is now showing that estranged parents as sympathetic. Any adult child who goes no contact with a narcissistic parent doesn’t do it to hurt anyone....they do it to save their own emotional well being.
No contact is a hard decision but it’s the best solution.
Dr. Ramani saved my life with her videos on narcissism while a was dealing with a narcissistic father…
We have a family member like that who shows up for everything uninvited just to create hateful gossip and uses expensive gifts to weasel in.
We got smart and formed a united front and didn't reveal actual dates or times and it worked.
Dr Ramani has been such a life saver, I can’t thank her enough for helping me navigate life with a narc. I didn’t know what narcissistic abuse was until a friend directed me to her YT channel and it’s been life altering! You deserve some kind of Nobel prize. Merci beaucoup
The other way we can talk about narcissistic abuse is as coercive control.
Having been exposed to this type of malignant toxicity for decades, my mantra of gratitude is: so happy I'm not like them and grateful I learned how not to behave. Also, this BS stops with me!!
Omg!!! Dr Ramani saved my life… I love you Dr Ramani ❤❤❤
Wow she's very good. What she said was an eye opener and very educational.
Healing is life long.
Yes.
Love Dr. Ramani and Synthia (Synful) Smith!!
Was in relationship with a narcissist for 35 years...not knowing what narcissistic behavior was ..I was raised back in the 60 and 70s...where you OBEYED U PARENTS! DIDN'T HAVE A VOICE! SO THOUGHT MY SPOUSE BEHAVIOR WAS NORMAL...HENCE I STAYED AS LONG AS I DID 😭😭😭
At 68 suffering with all kinds of medical issues...due to that stress/trauma...coz I also felt TRAPPED... PUTTING UP WITH THIS ABUSER ALL THOSE YEARS!!!
Congratulations, Doctor! I've been watching her for years and her insights are SO valuable?
Dr Ramani my new hero
Love Dr Ramani and _Synful! 🙌🏻
So true , its sad . I see right through it. My family is this way. Never grew up.
My husband eeked away at me for 6 years until I realized he was the one making me feel down. I left him & a year later felt so much happier
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, the person who needs to change, is you. Like with anything else, the buck starts and stops with you. If there is a way to deal with a narcissist, that way is to heal the pain within yourself that creates a vulnerable space for that narcissist to nest. Personal boundaries is all of the protection you need from a person who is intent on sucking the life out of you.🦋