one time at a school talent show I sang These Boots Were Made For Walking while wearing some ridiculous heeled boots. On my way offstage after, I tripped a little, and I joked into the mic 'I guess these boots weren't made for walking!' The deafening silence in this is giving me flashbacks to that moment.
She sounds like she's never even had experience with this stuff too, which is amazing to me. Not that *that's* amazing, but I mean you wouldn't get health and fitness advice from someone who's obese and gets winded at just the very thought of doing any sort of exercise, would you? Especially when they come out with phrases like "hot ape" and uses it to fit their weird little philosophies.
Yes, that's the "corporate" part... Trust me, I've been forced to attend speeches by "specialists", who wouldn't have been able to find their own arse in a dark room, even if they'd searched with both hands. One I vividly remember was a Harvard educated business coach, who told us (a team of people working in the medical field), that negative words cause cancer (in those, who use them, but even more so in the people, who listen to them). We shouldn't answer questions like "Did you have a difficult journey?" truthfully anymore, but lie to medical personnel by pretending, that everything was a-ok, although our car was a smoking wreck, turned upside down in the helicopter landing zone in pouring rain, hail and stones falling from the sky due to a nearby volcanic eruption. "Just tell them you had a wonderful time," was that idiot's answer to everything. Later he insisted, that we were not allowed to change a baby's diaper, if the baby showed signs of distress, that indicated, that it didn't want to have its diaper changed. We needed to ask for permission. No idea what sort of an answer he thought a 3 month old kid can give... but the mothers amongst us were furious and almost drowned him in the goldfish pond in the lobby after that, shouting, "A BABY, THAT NEEDS ITS DIAPER CHANGED, IS OF COURSE IN DISTRESS!!!" Next up: The flirtologist, who teaches us to grope patients, because they're helpless and can't run away... and they'll feel so much better, if their lonely routine is broken up by the possibility to sue us morons.
I know this is a joke and all, but actually, if you check behind her, it says TEDx, not TED TALK. It's made by the same organization, but anyone can sign up for a local TEDx talk, as oppose to TED TALKs where you have to be an actual expert on a subject. She's not even a TED expert, lol
I have not finished the video yet, but if the lady in the vid says that line I will be disappointed. I'm already disappointed. I think making flirting a science is great to an extent. What I don't like is how certain she is about the method she uses to determine if someone is flirting or not. The Ape method she uses is extremely flawed. No method of doing something has a guaranteed success rate, but her method is more than just not guaranteed to work. It's nearly a guaranteed failure in most situations. You should just be yourself in social situations and hope your OWN method of flirting works. When your method doesn't work you can't expect science to magically change your personality and increase your likelihood of finding a match.
I read some comments while the ad rolled, and man now that I got to the first time she says “hot ape” yeah I’m with ya. Even that logo she put with it...
Food is in a fridge so food well not mentioned is implied to exist in the fridge so food represents greed and him closing the fridge door shows him moving on from his greed but eventually he will come back as he is always in this loop of greed then inner peace then back to greed as eventually you have to eat again
You see, closing the fridge door on the fridge full of rotten food he never ate represents him running away from his unsolved problems that have bloomed to encompass his life, represented by the stench of the rotten food. His credit card debt is a moldy sandwich, and the smell of that bad ham shows how he feels overwhelmed.
It’s funny because they were at least a little on board until she made that awful joke about Japanese people and started showing her attempts at flirting and lost all credibility.
@@Diana72910 Actually you pay to attend those, and it's a lot, nobody makes you laugh there. Have you noticed other people being genuinely funny in their talks?
I like how "Hot Ape" went from an abbreviation for how to flirt to a verb on what you are doing when you flirt to an activity you do on the weekends. Also Hot apeing literally sounds like a federal crime .
Yeah it goes from an acronym to a noun to a verb. Also " Hey do you want to humor open body language touch attention proximity eye contact some guys tonight?"
I once noticed the same author was used for a Women's Magazine "How to show him you're into him" and a Men's Magazine "How to know she's into you" article. The articles matched, subject and object was just swapped around. Well at least people who read those magazines would be able to cross-communicate.
@@frenchbreadstupidity7054 wow that's really interesting. I imagine that the magazines have the same parent company or resourced the article from the same place. If they are the same company I wander if doing such things makes the tips more successful and people more likely to buy more magazines
Yeah! I completely forgot how this started. I thought I was going to learn more about how people were flirting with me, not whatever she turned it into. Hot Ape? ugh, what a terrible catch-line slogan, so not sexy.
Welcome to my TED talk. 1. How do I know if somebody is flirting with me? 2. There are cross-cultural signs of flirting. 3. This is how you should flirt with somebody. 4. If you fail, it's because you didn't follow the rules. 5. Forget about the rules. Thank you.
True, also, hotape? what was she thinking?? This could be an acceptable guide to identify people who are flirting, but somehow she forgot that was the point.
Please explain to me how she "researched" flirting in all these different countries. I can only assume she just stared creepily at people whispering "hot ape."
The worst part isn't the awful jokes or the horrible presentation skills, it's how useless all the info is. Like thanks for telling me that if our sense of humour isn't the same we aren't very compatible. What incredible advice.
Reporting from Japan: I know way more otakus from overseas who want to marry a videogame character than Japanese dudes. I'm gonna tell every anthropologist I meet in Japan to veto this woman's research if they get the chance
As someone who works in Japan in the customer service industry and have Japanese family relatives, I really don't know where her "data" is coming from.
I'm pretty sure she was referencing a very specific dude (who lives in the states, born and raised, and just so happens to be Japanese by race alone) who tried to marry a videogame character from a DS game. There's an episode of Mind Field (the Vsauce TH-cam Premium series) that features him in it. Still, her massively problematic way of going "haha, let's make fun of the Asian man" definitely means she's not worth listening to, immediately.
What Not To Do At a Stoplight I’ve seen plenty of pickup artists using alpha as a marketing term. It’s mostly in ads to buy courses to teach you how to be alpha and get girls and stuff.
@What Not To Do At a Stoplight "Dumb" is one way to put it. "Vulnerable" is another alternative, so maybe try not to throw everyone under the bus when there are various reasons why someone might be susceptible to a pick-up artist.
I think she was trying to refer to a specific story. But instead of going super vague or super specific, she... _just_ included the country, which was a terrible choice, especially for a heavily-revised-heavily-edited speech.
@@BroudbrunMusicMerge That's a fair point I hadn't thought of! My comment was pretty reactionary, but she is still perpetuating stereotypes that are pretty harmful
@@mrendroid609 yes i absolutely agree. i cringed so hard, especially as the majority of my friends are east asian and these are the kind of stereotypes that make them hate that they’re east asian
Especially considering that there's a big problem in japan of people having such severe social anxiety that they don't even leave their house, which is what would lead someone to finding love with a fictional person. So it was kind of insulting of mental illness as well. I don't think that was her intent, but based on the rest of her speech she's incredibly tone deaf for someone who supposedly studies social anthropology.
As Sal from Impractical Jokers had to say during his wedding reception speech... "Marriage can be like war... Don't let the Japanese get in your way." That seems to be this woman's mindset as well when it comes to relationships and the Japanese.
All the “flirting signs” she lists are just things any outgoing friendly person would do when speaking to someone, except for touch, and even that depends on the person. This is what incels think when they complain that someone was leading them on just by being nice.
I even know some social friendly people who touch in a very inoffensive and nice way like pat your arm/shoulder when they come up to you etc. and there’s nothing flirty about it. (And obv they don’t touch complete strangers but someone they’ve met before)
@@enenenergp Handshakes are a thing. And by this woman's logic (intimacy level increases the farther down the arm away from the shoulder you get) a handshake is the most intimate touch gesture of all
"Unless of course you're a Japanese male, and in that case you can go on to marry your video game girlfriend [racist approximation of what a Japanese name sounds like]" *No one laughs. *Random "wait what?" murmurs in the audience.
OMG. I had no idea, that my boss has been flirting with me since my interview. The whole interview started with a flirt, how could I have been so stupid. He literally grabbed my hand and shook it. How could I have been so blind? Of course touching my hand was flirting! Man I should get a raise.
Devin Bannish That’s logically untrue. If you say “person marrying an online character” IS a person marrying an online character, that’s literally the most accurate and precise you can get. Saying “Japanese male” is way more general (half of the population of Japan), and way more inaccurate, since the percentage of people who do not marry online characters still makes up most of Japan’s population. Don’t excuse the lazy joke with “it’s technically true”. It’s not, and even if it was, it’s a half-assed attempt at being funny. If the lady was actually funny this entire talk wouldn’t have turned out this cringy.
She's not teaching flirting, she's teaching sexual harrassment. Just think about how many girls have been "hot aped" by a guy who wont leave them alone
wtf are you talking, the whole point is that if you don't receive the "hot ape" signals back, then you stop wasting your time with that person that isn't interested. It's literally the opposite of sexual harrassment
@@freshrockpapa-e7799 She never said that. What she in fact said was, if it doesn't work out, it is because you didn't follow all the steps (i.e. if you keep going it'll work out) and that is dangerous advice
@@MP-ef9yo If you can't figure out on your own that you aren't supposed to pursue people that aren't flirting with you after you show interest then you're being dense on purpose. I remember watching the video when it came out and applying it as I'm telling you, and even I, having autism, understood it properly. Nevermind that the whole intro is about teaching people whether or not they are being flirted with.
@@freshrockpapa-e7799 I love how you took the opportunity to make it all about yourself. That's what shortsighted people do because they lack the ability to understand different perspectives. My point was that there are people who would take what she said and use it in such a way that it would make people they are "hotaping" very uncomfortable. She literally said "If things don't work out, it's not because they don't like you, it is because you didn't follow the steps". Thus prompting people to continue to pursue the steps even if it is not working out
Hearing that Japanese man """joke""" made me, for the first time in my life, literally drop my jaw. How did this woman write this and think "oh yeah, this is comedy gold"
and the fact that she’s an anthropologist makes it soooo much worse! she studies culture but then belittles them as well, because they’re “foreign” or “different.” stereotyping japanese men for your dumb hot ape speech? ew
It's not a good joke but it is actually based in reality. Japanese males are increasingly reluctant to engage with real women and at the same time more are "getting in relationships" with anime characters, body pillows etc. It sounds like a joke but it isn't.
Its so weird when people try to make definitive rules for how every human interaction should work, there’s so much nuance in personality and personal quirks that people will bring to the table!
What Not To Do At a Stoplight but that’s never going to happen. Never. Because you’re not interested in a classic book example of what should be done it’s with an actual person who does their own thing. This won’t work. If I tried all this and took this stuff to heart before dating my boyfriend we’d never be together
Exactly. Flirting is about chemistry, and you can't contrive that sort of energy. No amount of "touching" is gonna generate a spark that just isn't there. People forget that humans are complex emotional beings, not robots running on algorithm. If ticking the boxes off an acronym actually worked, these pick up artists would be out of a job within the year.
As an autistic person who doesn’t know at all when people are flirting with me, I was like “okay, maybe this could be helpful” and now I’m even more confused than when I started
Indeed this is awful. I found Matthew Hussey's resourses good to understand some of this stuff better. My autistic arse only understood "friends" or "person I am having sex with" but the rest was a mystery.
I went for coffee with a guy that must have seen this. He kept touching my back then held my hand and I instantly never wanted to see him again. This advice is so bad
@@musicnoonelikes have to?? Like by law?? No, she doesn't HAVE TO, but she should have said something. When I've had woman be fresh with me, I tell them right to their face that she's crossed the line, like an adult. Do I have to tell them? No, but people won't change their behavior unless they discover that it's a problem.
@tylermonkey I agree as an adult you should tell someone when they have crossed a line. I know people who are very touchy and people who don’t like touch and I have to remind myself of the kind of people I speak to because for some of my friends I love hugging them and others I don’t because it’s about respect.
I always look below people's eyes because I'm too awkward but I want to make it seem like I'm looking at them. Now pepple are gonna think I'm looking at their mouth. Shiet!
Ok but I'm also autistic and people either think I'm anxious and uncomfortable or flirting with them depending on.... Honestly I have NO IDEA. Like one time I just felt awkward and was trying to small talk with this classmate I bumped into at his work (I didn't know he worked there), and was generally being friendly, as you do. But as we were walking away my stepsister was like "ooh you like himmm!!" And I like ??? What??? And she kept INSISTING that my attempts at small talk was flirting. But then other times when I've done the EXACT SAME SHIT I've be asked if I was ok, I look nervous, etc. Honestly I'll never understand neurotypicals 🙄
Same. I’ve never been flirted with nor have I bothered to flirt with someone. It’s way too much work! I prefer somebody to be honest with their feelings over playing with them. This may be why I’m single and I don’t get many invites to parties let alone date...
I feel like trying to study flirting and plan it out in such a way takes all the fun away from it, thus making it kind of.. pointless. People flirt to show interest in someone and in general have fun with them and there are so many ways to do that. Following a checklist when flirting makes it so unnatural and takes away the best part of it, which to me is just effortlessly connecting with someone.
I once had a guy scold me because he thought I was flirting with him because I made eye contact during polite conversation. It’s always been my understanding that eye contact is a normal part of face to face conversation. This shit gives me worse social anxiety 😬
As an anthropology major I have rarely felt more seen or excited about my field than when these two tried to define anthropology for 30 seconds. Thank you
I was going with the because 'whenever I see you, you always piss me off' but the sentiment is the same. That sort of thing would be a pretty awesome fake out line.
She made a culturally offensive joke and she's an anthropologist?? That's the study of people and culture?? There's no way she's actually a good anthropologist if she thought that was okay
I like your username, but I disagree. Comedy is subjective. There's no way to police what jokes are and are not okay while also preserving freedom of speech. You're on a slippery slope there, pal.
@@TheRealFaceyNeck well citizens can police jokes as much as we want. Freedom of speech is about if the govt can step in to stop the joke, which no one is proposing. We police other's speech all the time. We shame people who curse loudly in public, who yell insults, who talk in theaters. It's the same concept
@free forever op actually doesnt say anything about the morality of the joke directly, op is just commenting on how ironic it is that a cultural anthropologist would say that joke, since that profession is what you would consider the ultimate sjw
@free forever ok maybe sociologists are the number 1 "sjw" but cultural anthropology deals w a lot of sociology and acceptance/understanding/respect of other races/cultures. In uni I took cultural anthro and a lot of it was about racism, gender non conformity around the world, etc. Not that I'm an expert. But surely someone who is you would think wouldnt throw random jabs at different cultural stereotypes lol
I'm studying anthropology and like her being bigoted towards japan is against what is taught in the field and also like she didnt use participant observation correctly.
To be fair, a culturally insensitive joke is not the same as being actually bigoted. Was it funny? No, but is she actually bigoted toward Japan? You probably know about as much as I do.
Love the fact he tried to use the H.O.T A.P.E dumbass rules in RuneScape, then accidentally killed the dude he was using it on!! Awesome that he unlocked an achievement tho!!
My feet naturally point outwards. I always thought it was due to my genetics, bone structure, etc., but it turns out I’m just constantly planning my escape from every situation. How did I not see it before?
My case is the opposite, as my knees are very crooked, very pigeon toed. I guess according to this woman i just scare people away with my uninterested, squirrel monkey ways
I feel like all of these "signs" of flirting are actually just things you can do to appear more confident (when used in appropriate ways). Eye contact, breaking the touch barrier, striking up humourous conversation are good ways to seem confident but I don't think it should be used to try and interpret others actions or be a "formula" for making people liking you.
I'm also tired of it. My traumatized brain and autism make those impossible, and I'm tired of getting fucked over because it is impossible for me to appear confident
K. Charrette hey man, I know how you feel to an extent, I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but I often feel really socially inept. I use to try to force myself to do confident things like start conversation or make more jokes and it only makes shit worse, I’m 100% sick of it at this point I’ve completely stopped watching these ‘do this to be confident ‘ videos and shit. They’re too frustrating to even think about.
K. Charrette I have struggled with social anxiety for a long time and only after therapy and years of practice am I starting to get more comfortable with it. It's definitely hard to force something that isn't natural. I don't think that these are necessary steps to being a happy person or even making friends just things that some people respond positively to. There are more people out there who understand what it's like to struggle with socializing and they understand when you can't make eye contact etc. (Cause they can't either) that's why these videos are unrealistic. There's no cookie cutter way to make connections with people. If acting "confident" isn't natural to you then it might come across disingenuous. Thats something I had to learn the hard way too. But in the end I've slowly learned the best way for ME to make friends and relationships and it definitely wasn't by following a step by step guide from a Karen at a Ted talk lol.
I feel like she just thinks everybody’s flirting with her all the time so she just connected regular human interaction habits to flirting. Like “oh the clerk at Walmart smiled at me and said have a nice day they must me flirting!”
It’s horrible. I can laugh at a joke/tell jokes with the opposite gender without it being a flirty thing. And the body language stuff is stupid. Sure there’s a small bit of truth in some body language stuff, but it’s not like you should give up the moment you see someone’s feet turned away. 99% of the time they’re just going to be standing like that without knowing they are.
10:55 I'm a guy born in 1983 so the majority of my flirting was done 1997-13. A woman giving you the arm touch in that era was one of the classic moves to let you know this was flirting rather than just being a nice person who is not interested in you romantically.
Her: "The person sitting next to you? it's happend to them." "And the person sitting in front of you? it's happend to them too". Me sitting alone in my room staring at a Mannequin.
@1world1blood that's golden. grabbing someone by the shoulders, making direct eye contact with them, and telling them "i'm using the HOT APE method"...they boutta use the " HOT MACE" method lmao. forgot to point ur feet at them, rookie mistake
Studies have proven that its near impossible to know when others are flirting with them unless they use some cliche move or line, or are actually trying to be obvious. If someone says they can always tell, then they either get hit on exclusively by cheesy obnoxious people, or they are just full of themselves and think everyone's flirting when they're not.
Wow this is so beyond true. I’ve met way too many people that always think someone is flirting with them when those people were just being nice, decent individuals.
You almost used my favorite flirty pickup line. Your mistake is that after you ask if they are from Tennessee, you need to say "because I really think you should go back to where you I came from". It hasn't actually worked for me yet, but imma keep trying.
@@MeWe-fh1lu these like a new story about this one dude who married an AI in japan (BUT a guy from the u.s did the same) It’s like going, “one of those fattys from America”
To be fair, Rinko is from a dating sim game that was massively popular. I think it was called love+? I didn't find the joke funny, I just found the reference to be weird in retrospect.
KLousyfolds I can think of several different video game Rinkos, but I didn’t know that one! Wonder if she knew that or just looked up Japanese names. Also hate the way she tried to pronounce it lol.
She keeps using HOT APE as a verb...like she's saying "Which way do you want to Humour, Open body language, Touch, Attention, Proximity and Eye contact me more?"
instagram.com/ScottCramersLife
Scott Cramer 😘
What if I don’t want to be a simp?...
Scott Cramer 0:45 Scott is insulting my clothes now. How the tables have turned
Scott Cramer Happy belated birthday!
watching your videos makes me happy
Hot Aping someone sounds like a criminal offense.
It sounds like rape if it was worse
My uncle Hot Aped me once
@@uselesstomato8191 You can't spell "rape" without "ape"...
If someone tries to hot ape me I'm gonna do a criminal offense.
Jamie Jared or a sexual practice like a hot Bloomberg. You know, that action of pooping into someone’s mouth as they pay you copious amounts of money
“A flirtologist, if you will.”
I will not.
Lucy Dearden this comment made me actually laugh out loud, trank you kind stranger.
@@Katemione same here
Me too😂
I absolutely will not
I will'nt
When the Ted talk hits you with lowkey racism and bad pick up lines.
Welcome to Tedx; the much shittier, open platform version of Ted where anyone can say whatever the fuck they want
But hey it’s a ted talk so it must be right
Yeah. This woman is the worst. She isn’t even good at flirting.
Lowkey? That is as blatant as it gets
@@theepicosityofpizza or anything they can convince the licensed representative is worth 10 minutes. It's a good thing tickets are free.
one time at a school talent show I sang These Boots Were Made For Walking while wearing some ridiculous heeled boots. On my way offstage after, I tripped a little, and I joked into the mic 'I guess these boots weren't made for walking!'
The deafening silence in this is giving me flashbacks to that moment.
that’s very funny, i would’ve laughed 🥲
Aww at least you made a joke. I would have laughed too
I would have coughed if I was in the audiance.
That's way funnier!
Is it any consolation that I just erupted into uncontrollable laughter at your comment?
She sounds like somebody who's constantly saying "not to toot my own horn, but..."
She reminded me of Gabbie Hanna too
Madison Potter-Moen .. hahaha 100000%%%
@@rananawito3526 she's gabbie in fifteen years.
Lmao too true
"Not to toot my own horn, but I'm a HOT APE."
I don't believe for a second that this woman has ever:
1) been to a party
2) been flirted with
Neither have I, but I at least have the common sense to know this is common sense for Normal Communication, not to spot flirting or to flirt.
She's the type to believe everyone is flirting with her
@@chloejade9055 and dare I say, I could tell that from her...body language.
I second that motion
Third
her vibe is “I may or may not flirt with my son’s high school friends.”
jenna underrated comment, well done 👏
Matt Joseph thank you, Matt :)
ok this is the comment that made me laugh.
for research purposes, naturally
Incredible
Notice how she said "My clients". She doesn't study flirting, she is a pick up coach. She's giving this ted talk to advertise her services.
I hope her clients got a full refund.
She sounds like she's never even had experience with this stuff too, which is amazing to me. Not that *that's* amazing, but I mean you wouldn't get health and fitness advice from someone who's obese and gets winded at just the very thought of doing any sort of exercise, would you? Especially when they come out with phrases like "hot ape" and uses it to fit their weird little philosophies.
i dont think she advertised very well.
Yes, that's the "corporate" part...
Trust me, I've been forced to attend speeches by "specialists", who wouldn't have been able to find their own arse in a dark room, even if they'd searched with both hands.
One I vividly remember was a Harvard educated business coach, who told us (a team of people working in the medical field), that negative words cause cancer (in those, who use them, but even more so in the people, who listen to them).
We shouldn't answer questions like "Did you have a difficult journey?" truthfully anymore, but lie to medical personnel by pretending, that everything was a-ok, although our car was a smoking wreck, turned upside down in the helicopter landing zone in pouring rain, hail and stones falling from the sky due to a nearby volcanic eruption.
"Just tell them you had a wonderful time," was that idiot's answer to everything.
Later he insisted, that we were not allowed to change a baby's diaper, if the baby showed signs of distress, that indicated, that it didn't want to have its diaper changed. We needed to ask for permission.
No idea what sort of an answer he thought a 3 month old kid can give... but the mothers amongst us were furious and almost drowned him in the goldfish pond in the lobby after that, shouting, "A BABY, THAT NEEDS ITS DIAPER CHANGED, IS OF COURSE IN DISTRESS!!!"
Next up: The flirtologist, who teaches us to grope patients, because they're helpless and can't run away... and they'll feel so much better, if their lonely routine is broken up by the possibility to sue us morons.
Except her services are utter shite and as much as I don't want her to win anybody who'd become her client deserves to be bilked.
Ted really be letting anyone talk huh
Syd LMFAOO yess
this comment is crazy underrated
Lolololol
Fuck Ted, all my homies hate Ted 😤
I know this is a joke and all, but actually, if you check behind her, it says TEDx, not TED TALK. It's made by the same organization, but anyone can sign up for a local TEDx talk, as oppose to TED TALKs where you have to be an actual expert on a subject. She's not even a TED expert, lol
She is 1 flower headband and 4 inches of hair away from saying "Hey all you cool cats and kittens..."
Right?!!!
Yessss!!! I was getting immediate carol vibes from her 😂😂😂
Atembe LMAOO
LMAO
LMAO
she definitely lost them with the Japanese “joke”
Your username is amazing
But no your right
For real, so hard to watch
Right. Zero laughs
Clutch Envyツ lol thanks 😊
“If someone was across the room and now they’re next to you, it is NOT. A coincidence”
You’re standing next to the food table, Sharon.
Hahahaha
I read this as Sharon's standing ON the table lol
Yeah perhaps you're in the way and should find a better place to stand
I have not finished the video yet, but if the lady in the vid says that line I will be disappointed. I'm already disappointed. I think making flirting a science is great to an extent. What I don't like is how certain she is about the method she uses to determine if someone is flirting or not. The Ape method she uses is extremely flawed. No method of doing something has a guaranteed success rate, but her method is more than just not guaranteed to work. It's nearly a guaranteed failure in most situations. You should just be yourself in social situations and hope your OWN method of flirting works. When your method doesn't work you can't expect science to magically change your personality and increase your likelihood of finding a match.
@@First-to-last yeah get off the food dang
Everytime she says "hot ape" I feel like I'm being violated
I think “hot” and rhyming with “rape” is the worst way to get a date. I too feel wronged by her
i’m sorry i laughed 💀
It physically hurts me
@@vesainthesewer bot cape is okay because it brings up pictures of a robot superhero
I read some comments while the ad rolled, and man now that I got to the first time she says “hot ape” yeah I’m with ya. Even that logo she put with it...
She talks in a “I know I’m right, cool and hip” voice, but in reality just sounds condescending
Like most Tedx speakers, she's dressed abominably.
She talks in a "gUyS, yOu ArE nOt GoInG tO bEliEvE tHiS, bUt I wAs OnCe REALLY uNaTtRaCtIvE & uNcOoL!!! uBeLiEvAbLe, RiGhT?!?
She speaks exactly the same way my English teacher does
Her tone is almost identical to my math teacher. The same sort of, “You are required to listen to me, I’m better than you” condescending tone.
That's EXACTLY what I was thinking. She so obviously thinks she's smarter than everyone else.
"Unless of course you're a Japanese Male....." You can pinpoint the exact moment this talk went sideways
When I saw that shit I verbally said "yikes"
Of course, when she wrote it.
@@coinbaselive9421 "That's gonna be a fuckin YIKES from me dog, holy shit!"
those birth rates in japan doe
The fuckin accent she puts on "Rinko" too
She talks like an English teacher trying to find a deeper meaning to sentences like: “He closed the fridge door.”
Closing the coldness of the heart
Food is in a fridge so food well not mentioned is implied to exist in the fridge so food represents greed and him closing the fridge door shows him moving on from his greed but eventually he will come back as he is always in this loop of greed then inner peace then back to greed as eventually you have to eat again
You see, closing the fridge door on the fridge full of rotten food he never ate represents him running away from his unsolved problems that have bloomed to encompass his life, represented by the stench of the rotten food. His credit card debt is a moldy sandwich, and the smell of that bad ham shows how he feels overwhelmed.
@@samuelbutton7185 And the blue curtains 100% means he's depressed about life
@@polterkitty3639 can I use this on my ELA test?
Her lack of personality is only rivaled by the silence of the crowd
go girl give us nothing
It’s funny because they were at least a little on board until she made that awful joke about Japanese people and started showing her attempts at flirting and lost all credibility.
Omg so true 🤣
No she does, it’s just bad
I love how she wrote in pauses for laughs and no one laughed
OMG THAT EXPLAINS THE DRAWN OUT SILENCE!!
Oh gosh, she’s like a writer for dumb sitcoms
They eliminate the sounds of the crowd many times, the microphone picks the most near sound, but I’m sure they get paid to laugh HAHAHAHA
@@Diana72910 Actually you pay to attend those, and it's a lot, nobody makes you laugh there. Have you noticed other people being genuinely funny in their talks?
@Olaf Im the only one that made me laugh was the beat boxer from Australia
bruh i'm clinically bowlegged where my feet point is not a sign of my affection toward you it means that i am deformed
😂😂 this comment made me laugh so fucking hard..thank you for that.
One of my feet points forward and the other is off to the left. Good luck figuring that out lmao
@@kaydwessie296
bones be wack
smh how will you ever find love with HOTAPE :c
Haha I read this comment before watching the whole video and I couldn’t understand a fucking thing. Nooow I get it!!
she seems like the kind of person who tells little girls that the boys in their class teasing them are actually into them
“Oh sweetie, he just knocked you down and shoved bugs into your mouth because he LIKES you!”
"Is this person... fliiRtiNg with me??" has the same energy as that "Are we abOut to kISS righyt now??"
more like "Do I LOoK like you DaDdy?" 0.o
"0H mY gOd ARe wE fL irting rn omigosh"
Or for certain TH-cam OGs “Is it a good idea to microwave this?”
😭😭😭😭
ParisNoellTV 😂 I forgot about that show. I used to always watch that. The microwaving a bottle of gin episode was my favorite.
"Hotapeing guys."
That sounds like assault
Why is that so accurate
She sounds likes she’s trying to make fetch happen and she’s definitely trying too hard
I mean it could be depends where you touch them
Registered HotApeist
My boi Scott hotaped that goblin at the end of the video
The way she talks makes me so uncomfortable. Like she's trying to sound sexy but she's verbally harassing me through the screen💀💀
Noel Miller nice
Like Siri but condescending
@@AtotheR like my dolls eyes but verbal
I like your pfp
this is so accurate i hate it
I like how "Hot Ape" went from an abbreviation for how to flirt to a verb on what you are doing when you flirt to an activity you do on the weekends. Also Hot apeing literally sounds like a federal crime .
Yeah it goes from an acronym to a noun to a verb. Also " Hey do you want to humor open body language touch attention proximity eye contact some guys tonight?"
Hot aping people... Just the letter r away
That's a good point. 😂
The same way You D.E.N.N.I.S. someone.
This is the type of woman who refers to herself as "vivacious"
People actually use that word?
I have yet to meet a person that uses that word unironically and I am thankful for that.
There's a drag queen called Vivacious (stage name) 😂
“Bodacious”
No joke my Latin teacher calls herself vivacious all the time...
“Hot apeing people takes time” is one of the most cursed sentences without context
Even with context it's terrifying
“Take action and go hot ape someone” 🤦♂️
Noodle is suspicious of your search history •_• for some reason that makes me think it’s a term for like shitting on someone
I dont think i want to know the context
@@nathanielperry2714 most stuff on urban dictionary does mean that
“hot aping people” sounds like a euphemism for some kind of violent crime
Or an incredibly unpleasant sex act.
@@stoneseabolt
Or a mix between the 2
Just a letter "r" away...
A dangerous serial apist
Heavy on the violent crime 😭🤣
H is humor
O is open
T is for touch
A is for another touch
P is for perhaps one more touch
E is for even more touch
😂
You definitely nailed H
She went from "this is how to tell if someone's flirting" to "flirt like this and you'll score." Wut? That's not how it works.
I once noticed the same author was used for a Women's Magazine "How to show him you're into him" and a Men's Magazine "How to know she's into you" article. The articles matched, subject and object was just swapped around. Well at least people who read those magazines would be able to cross-communicate.
@@frenchbreadstupidity7054 wow that's really interesting. I imagine that the magazines have the same parent company or resourced the article from the same place. If they are the same company I wander if doing such things makes the tips more successful and people more likely to buy more magazines
Me when I’m trying to write a cohesive essay
Yeah! I completely forgot how this started. I thought I was going to learn more about how people were flirting with me, not whatever she turned it into. Hot Ape? ugh, what a terrible catch-line slogan, so not sexy.
Welcome to my TED talk.
1. How do I know if somebody is flirting with me?
2. There are cross-cultural signs of flirting.
3. This is how you should flirt with somebody.
4. If you fail, it's because you didn't follow the rules.
5. Forget about the rules.
Thank you.
For someone who "researched" other people's behavior, she sure can't read the room.
Oh snap this comment is golden 😂😂
Like at ALL😭. This was awkwardddd
I mean, what choice did she have? She was onstage; she probably felt she had to finish even if her talk wasn't landing.
@@elafimilo8199 Ikr lol
No matter how much data your accumulate or learn, it won’t confer emotional intelligence. No degree or PhD or research can give you that.
I love how the premise of the talk was "How do I know if I'm being flirted with?" And instead she TRIES to answer "How to be a better flirt."
True, also, hotape? what was she thinking?? This could be an acceptable guide to identify people who are flirting, but somehow she forgot that was the point.
yeah i was thinking that too
Please don't hit me
Oh my gosh, you're right! 😂
Oh my god you’re right! 😅😂😂
*19 yr old check out clerk:* Have a nice day.
*Miss Hot Ape:* OMG I guess I still have it going on huh. Am I a milf or a cougar? * awkward giggles *
"Ma'am this is a Wendys"
Hahaha hahaha
*Ms. Hot Ape
Ah, another terrible day to have eyes
She absolutely sexually harrass young male employees.
She feels like a teacher who tried to be like ‘down with the kids’
Rhianna Rajput exactly what I was thinking
Rhianna Rajput and oh how it fails
“How do you do, fellow kids? Ya up for some... HOT APE-ing?”
She feels like a corporate midle management.
More like the teacher who tired to be like ‘seducing her students’
Please explain to me how she "researched" flirting in all these different countries. I can only assume she just stared creepily at people whispering "hot ape."
Omg I laughed so hard at that
was thinking this... did she press her face against restaurant windows or go to a club solo or smth?
she didnt even "research" she went to a few european and american cities and called it a day.
She better not be saying that to people in Africa
yep, thats exactly it, fact checked as true
The worst part isn't the awful jokes or the horrible presentation skills, it's how useless all the info is. Like thanks for telling me that if our sense of humour isn't the same we aren't very compatible. What incredible advice.
My Sense of humor picked up a scent of stale content with jade colored flaky mold. It reeked.
Or that if someone is backing away from me they want to get away.
Phew! I always go for guys who never make me laugh and never laugh at anything I say, so luckily she said that!
It's all very much how-to-get-a-guy-to-like-you-tier stuff
“do you wanna hot ape me?”
no❤️, absolutely not✨, this sentence by itself is a hate crime😍
😂😂😂
Fren :D
This woman definitely wears a "It's wine o'clock somewhere" t-shirt on casual Fridays
😆
"that glass of wine is calling my name"
Meanwhile, I’ll wear my “It’s wine o’clock somewhere” t-shirt on formal Fridays
Wine o'clock gets earlier and earlier for alcoholics until it's first thing in the morning.
Mama needs wine 😂
she seems like the type of person who would unironically say “we have fun here”
Why does that phrase physically hurt me?
She’s a Karen. Everything they say hurts.
Too spot on..
I think of South Park when you say this
I say that ahhhh
love how nobody laughed after her racist Japanese joke
I swear I heard multiple gunshots right after she said the joke.
m(；∇；)m
Racist and sexist
Botober there was a big argument and scott had to come in an clear things up, so i bet he deleted the replies
lmao ofc an argument happened
Reporting from Japan: I know way more otakus from overseas who want to marry a videogame character than Japanese dudes.
I'm gonna tell every anthropologist I meet in Japan to veto this woman's research if they get the chance
She doesn't do research
I agree
As someone who works in Japan in the customer service industry and have Japanese family relatives, I really don't know where her "data" is coming from.
Dude, she's in a Tedx Talk. How much credibility does she have? 😂
I'm pretty sure she was referencing a very specific dude (who lives in the states, born and raised, and just so happens to be Japanese by race alone) who tried to marry a videogame character from a DS game. There's an episode of Mind Field (the Vsauce TH-cam Premium series) that features him in it.
Still, her massively problematic way of going "haha, let's make fun of the Asian man" definitely means she's not worth listening to, immediately.
She's like a female version of all those "alpha males" giving pick-up advice on youtube.
Nekira Hodge yes!!! That explains much of the cringe
EXACTLY MY THOUGHTS
What Not To Do At a Stoplight I’ve seen plenty of pickup artists using alpha as a marketing term. It’s mostly in ads to buy courses to teach you how to be alpha and get girls and stuff.
Nekira Hodge I think most pick-up advice is pretty terrible ngl
@What Not To Do At a Stoplight "Dumb" is one way to put it. "Vulnerable" is another alternative, so maybe try not to throw everyone under the bus when there are various reasons why someone might be susceptible to a pick-up artist.
I don't want to hear the term "hot aping someone" ever again...
I felt like yelling at her to stop trying to make hot aping a thing!
At least she wasn’t talking about hoe tapping someone
@@h.r.9563 Sounds like something from Urban Dictionary
She just spewed some casual racism like it was nothing.
I think she was trying to refer to a specific story. But instead of going super vague or super specific, she... _just_ included the country, which was a terrible choice, especially for a heavily-revised-heavily-edited speech.
@@BroudbrunMusicMerge That's a fair point I hadn't thought of! My comment was pretty reactionary, but she is still perpetuating stereotypes that are pretty harmful
@@mrendroid609 yes i absolutely agree. i cringed so hard, especially as the majority of my friends are east asian and these are the kind of stereotypes that make them hate that they’re east asian
I knew which story she was talking about, but the way she worded it definitely came out wrong.
Especially considering that there's a big problem in japan of people having such severe social anxiety that they don't even leave their house, which is what would lead someone to finding love with a fictional person. So it was kind of insulting of mental illness as well. I don't think that was her intent, but based on the rest of her speech she's incredibly tone deaf for someone who supposedly studies social anthropology.
>Is talking about humour as being a key component
>makes a cricket joke in front of an American audience.
It's like, not even a joke too. It's just an observation, cricket is a long game and so is the flirting game and also it's not a game.
I feel like she's that one fanfic writer shipping two people just because they exchanged two sentences in that one episode.
"you don't understand the two hot men made eye contact ITS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF HOT APEING JUST LET ME WRIGHT MY FICS IN PEACE UGHHH"
Isn't that every fanfic writer?
hey. how dare u im NOTHING like this lady 😤
@@wolverineminerMost fanfiction tends to be the confirmed ships or the ones that are shipped by a large part of the source-material's audience
@@finn-sw9tq Yeah, you're not at all helping you're case.
That racism came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks
I was NOT prepared to hear that
As Sal from Impractical Jokers had to say during his wedding reception speech... "Marriage can be like war... Don't let the Japanese get in your way." That seems to be this woman's mindset as well when it comes to relationships and the Japanese.
@@stoneseabolt Haha, I think I remember that quote too. Love that show.
Thanks for the heads up
Was totally not expecting that 😳
When she says she studied the inhabitants, she literally sounds like an alien trying to pose as a human being.
Jenna Campbell She probably is. It would explain a lot.
She probably is an alien trying to teach other aliens how to communicate with humans in order to procreate and birth a new species
Claire Bear where is alien gf ???
Married another alien
Why tf that make sense 😭
According to her steps, almost every adult I’ve come into contact with as an adult is into me
I know my 5 year old cousin has been flirting with me and I had no idea!
I love how Ted talks can be anywhere from totally enlightening to completely insane
I once gave one on why I think the moon should be a planet
Ted X ruined Ted
There's a fine line
Used to be much better, went downhill in the past 7 years.
The suffix "-x" is the key. In general, TED = Ideas worth sharing; TEDx = Ideas worth burning.
All the “flirting signs” she lists are just things any outgoing friendly person would do when speaking to someone, except for touch, and even that depends on the person. This is what incels think when they complain that someone was leading them on just by being nice.
Mocha YEP
I even know some social friendly people who touch in a very inoffensive and nice way like pat your arm/shoulder when they come up to you etc. and there’s nothing flirty about it. (And obv they don’t touch complete strangers but someone they’ve met before)
Truuuuuee
@@enenenergp Handshakes are a thing. And by this woman's logic (intimacy level increases the farther down the arm away from the shoulder you get) a handshake is the most intimate touch gesture of all
It also depends on culture. As an anthropologist, she should know that.
Stop trying to make "Hot Aping" happen. It's not going to happen.
This comment is soo fetch!
Stop it, Gretchen!
It sounds like a felony is happening in my living room and i just have to accept it
Call it what you want, that's what happens when you flirt, the fact that you're conscious or not doesn't matter.
Same
"Unless of course you're a Japanese male, and in that case you can go on to marry your video game girlfriend [racist approximation of what a Japanese name sounds like]"
*No one laughs.
*Random "wait what?" murmurs in the audience.
Timestamp?
5:00
OMG. I had no idea, that my boss has been flirting with me since my interview. The whole interview started with a flirt, how could I have been so stupid. He literally grabbed my hand and shook it. How could I have been so blind? Of course touching my hand was flirting! Man I should get a raise.
Yes hun, I so feel that. And my coworker handed me a cup at the coffee table the other day and our fingers brushed, he has it baaad. Getcho raise.
LMAO I CANNOT 💀😭
dude thats sooo far away from your brain!
He definitely got a raise from all that hot sweaty flirting.
I’m assuming his feet were pointing towards you and if he made eye contact, baby, you’ve got a sexual harassment lawsuit
I watched this Tedx episode for free and I still want my money back.
FUEYFUEGDYGEURF LOL
LMAO🤣🤣
You should call one of those lawyers on tv. They can get you money for your pain and suffering.
At some point hot ape stopped sounding like real words. I also never thought I'd ever hear the term "Hot Ape" spoken out loud.
Go to a junior high English class or something
Actually it is Ho Tape
Blueish Sheep 123 Damn I really thought it was hota pe
I'm hijacking it with an entry on Urban Dictionary, any deviant sex act concepts?
Here’s a fun twist on the parking ticket line, “hey you look like a parking ticket, because i’m gonna ignore you”
Ha that was mine too! Sadly, I do that with tickets.
“A flirtologist”
Ooh, that was rough. She can still save it thoug-
“If you’re a Japanese man-“
Oh no
Not even man. M a l e .
Yeah, that was my exact reaction at that too
She's kinda racist
@@PR-dj8pg yeah except that she's an anthropologist
@@pittagiiya
y e a . . .
This was playing out like a pretty normal Ted Talk right up until the words “Japanese guy” and “hot ape” left her mouth
The Japanese guy bit gave me second hand embarrassment
why’d she have to say Japanese male, just say a person marrying an online character, she couldn’t gotten like half a laugh compared to zero
To be fair, a Japanese male would be more accurate/precise.
Devin Bannish That’s logically untrue. If you say “person marrying an online character” IS a person marrying an online character, that’s literally the most accurate and precise you can get. Saying “Japanese male” is way more general (half of the population of Japan), and way more inaccurate, since the percentage of people who do not marry online characters still makes up most of Japan’s population. Don’t excuse the lazy joke with “it’s technically true”. It’s not, and even if it was, it’s a half-assed attempt at being funny. If the lady was actually funny this entire talk wouldn’t have turned out this cringy.
Andrew Cabaj I don’t know at least with archeologists they are doing something, finding bones and shit.
Andrew Cabaj How is archeology cringy?
She's not teaching flirting, she's teaching sexual harrassment. Just think about how many girls have been "hot aped" by a guy who wont leave them alone
Or how many guys have been as well
wtf are you talking, the whole point is that if you don't receive the "hot ape" signals back, then you stop wasting your time with that person that isn't interested. It's literally the opposite of sexual harrassment
@@freshrockpapa-e7799 She never said that. What she in fact said was, if it doesn't work out, it is because you didn't follow all the steps (i.e. if you keep going it'll work out) and that is dangerous advice
@@MP-ef9yo If you can't figure out on your own that you aren't supposed to pursue people that aren't flirting with you after you show interest then you're being dense on purpose. I remember watching the video when it came out and applying it as I'm telling you, and even I, having autism, understood it properly. Nevermind that the whole intro is about teaching people whether or not they are being flirted with.
@@freshrockpapa-e7799 I love how you took the opportunity to make it all about yourself. That's what shortsighted people do because they lack the ability to understand different perspectives. My point was that there are people who would take what she said and use it in such a way that it would make people they are "hotaping" very uncomfortable. She literally said "If things don't work out, it's not because they don't like you, it is because you didn't follow the steps". Thus prompting people to continue to pursue the steps even if it is not working out
“Your entire closet is black clothes” well yes but actually yes
Dead meme
@@maolruanaidhh9153 well yes but actually no
699 likes let’s goooooo
Everyone take notes, the comedy police are here and they're handing out misdemeanors
*Emo kids being attacked*
The way she says "hot ape" puts me into fight or flight
Me too, and I chose fight-
H O t a p E~~ ;DD
"It puts me into my flight or flight response"
@@swirlingstars_3339 you have no right to judge their grammar lmao
@@jamietheangryoctopus5938 Actually it's a Danny Gonzalez reference. In one of his videos he said it
This woman is terrible at presenting
AbbasRB7 oh my goodness it makes me feel it in my stomach 👀
@@IISimpleII Damn.... she's HOT APEing me without me even realising
Don’t talk about Scott like that.
I absolutely hate her voice
Jonas Hulse She sounds like Carole Baskin
That japanese man joke came out of nowhere. You just know that some japanese dude left her for a virtual girlfriend.
Can’t blame him with having that to deal with
The use of hot ape as a verb is terrifying and very cringing “did you hot ape him?” Like how does that even sound okay in your head 😂
Sounds like a euphemism for DateR***
Cole Manning lmao why did you capitalize dater*** like it’s supposed to have a trademark r
@@okestperson6016 date ®ape
It sounds like your shitting on someone
@@ratedpending haha, no.
Hearing that Japanese man """joke""" made me, for the first time in my life, literally drop my jaw. How did this woman write this and think "oh yeah, this is comedy gold"
and the fact that she’s an anthropologist makes it soooo much worse! she studies culture but then belittles them as well, because they’re “foreign” or “different.” stereotyping japanese men for your dumb hot ape speech? ew
I’m sorry but if that joke offended u u must live a goddamn privileged life.
It's not a good joke but it is actually based in reality. Japanese males are increasingly reluctant to engage with real women and at the same time more are "getting in relationships" with anime characters, body pillows etc. It sounds like a joke but it isn't.
@@MrSpartanspud Those statistics are there to highlight the toxic work environment of many Japanese companies...
Maybe she assumed there was a 6 drink minimum at these things
Its so weird when people try to make definitive rules for how every human interaction should work, there’s so much nuance in personality and personal quirks that people will bring to the table!
What Not To Do At a Stoplight but that’s never going to happen. Never. Because you’re not interested in a classic book example of what should be done it’s with an actual person who does their own thing. This won’t work. If I tried all this and took this stuff to heart before dating my boyfriend we’d never be together
Even if they use other cultures as a base I still think it is ridiculous and cringey too.
So basically...people like her are supporting hive minds.
Exactly. Flirting is about chemistry, and you can't contrive that sort of energy. No amount of "touching" is gonna generate a spark that just isn't there. People forget that humans are complex emotional beings, not robots running on algorithm. If ticking the boxes off an acronym actually worked, these pick up artists would be out of a job within the year.
You actually aren't that special, it's called patterns.
As an autistic person who doesn’t know at all when people are flirting with me, I was like “okay, maybe this could be helpful” and now I’m even more confused than when I started
Me too man me too
As a normal person, I now have autism because of this video.
Indeed this is awful. I found Matthew Hussey's resourses good to understand some of this stuff better. My autistic arse only understood "friends" or "person I am having sex with" but the rest was a mystery.
HOT APE is the worst acronym for flirting that I can think of.
It's better than HOE TAP
EAT PHO
Jasmin Miettunen - But is it?
*_SWEATY_*
It just sounds gross
I went for coffee with a guy that must have seen this. He kept touching my back then held my hand and I instantly never wanted to see him again. This advice is so bad
Did you tell him he was making you uncomfortable?
@@tylerrolandmorris oi she shouldn't have to
@@musicnoonelikes have to?? Like by law?? No, she doesn't HAVE TO, but she should have said something. When I've had woman be fresh with me, I tell them right to their face that she's crossed the line, like an adult. Do I have to tell them? No, but people won't change their behavior unless they discover that it's a problem.
@@tylerrolandmorris You need to calm down, friend. Have some chamomile tea.
@tylermonkey I agree as an adult you should tell someone when they have crossed a line. I know people who are very touchy and people who don’t like touch and I have to remind myself of the kind of people I speak to because for some of my friends I love hugging them and others I don’t because it’s about respect.
I feel bad for this woman. She probably pumped herself up and thought she was gonna change the world or something.
Me, autistic, who never looks at or touches people and has no standard of body language: guess I may or may not be flirting at any given moment
Schrödinger's Flirt.
I always look below people's eyes because I'm too awkward but I want to make it seem like I'm looking at them. Now pepple are gonna think I'm looking at their mouth. Shiet!
Eric Lecarde Oh you flirt
Ok but I'm also autistic and people either think I'm anxious and uncomfortable or flirting with them depending on.... Honestly I have NO IDEA. Like one time I just felt awkward and was trying to small talk with this classmate I bumped into at his work (I didn't know he worked there), and was generally being friendly, as you do.
But as we were walking away my stepsister was like "ooh you like himmm!!" And I like ??? What??? And she kept INSISTING that my attempts at small talk was flirting.
But then other times when I've done the EXACT SAME SHIT I've be asked if I was ok, I look nervous, etc.
Honestly I'll never understand neurotypicals 🙄
The only times I flirt happen when I got high
This feels like one of those "get any woman with this one simple trick" scams that prey on socially anxious, depressed and lonely people.
Is the fact that I've never heard the "fine written all over you" pickup line a blessing or a testament to my barren love life
Don't question it; embrace it.
definitely a blessing
Same. I’ve never been flirted with nor have I bothered to flirt with someone. It’s way too much work! I prefer somebody to be honest with their feelings over playing with them.
This may be why I’m single and I don’t get many invites to parties let alone date...
@@JuriAmari do you have to flirt to get invited to a party? I've never heard of that.
Cats 2079 Not really (thank God) but I guess I feel like a stick in the mud a lot of the time. I do try to have fun though!
I feel like trying to study flirting and plan it out in such a way takes all the fun away from it, thus making it kind of.. pointless. People flirt to show interest in someone and in general have fun with them and there are so many ways to do that. Following a checklist when flirting makes it so unnatural and takes away the best part of it, which to me is just effortlessly connecting with someone.
Idk who gave her her flirting license but it needs to be revoked
I once had a guy scold me because he thought I was flirting with him because I made eye contact during polite conversation. It’s always been my understanding that eye contact is a normal part of face to face conversation. This shit gives me worse social anxiety 😬
Eye contact is normal, yeah.
That guy is a dumbass
That sucks.
I love how theres utter silence at every single joke she cracks,everyone is absolutely dead faced too
As an anthropology major I have rarely felt more seen or excited about my field than when these two tried to define anthropology for 30 seconds. Thank you
Meanwhile I, an archaeologist, got a stroke.
the phrase "hot ape" is bad enough but using it as a verb makes me viscerally uncomfortable
My cat wants to hot ape your cat. Meow!
@@jaustin97601 my cat is down to hot ape.
@@sophielongworth9301 I’m uncomfortable
@@xhappyponyxwasmyoldname1395 Hi Uncomfortable, I'm dad
Why she sounds like Virtual Assistant voice in Honda Civic
I can't stop thinking that my car is trying to help me not die alone now...
But doing a horrible job.
"Welcome to your Honda Civic, before you get on the road remember the steps of hot ape"
r/rareinsults
That is also constipated
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you’ve ruined my day.
senior quote
Nice one
Uncle Crum why are you so racist?
Oh its uncle crum from the up ripoff
I was going with the because 'whenever I see you, you always piss me off' but the sentiment is the same. That sort of thing would be a pretty awesome fake out line.
Combining all six is like combining all six infinity stones, it's too powerful
I’ve been married to my husband for 4 years, 7 together. We met online, different countries. Emojis work, Karen, or whatever your flirty name is.
Same. My husband and I met online, lived across an ocean and we've been married 5 year.
My husband and I met online and he lived across the street from one of my uncles lol
Emojis can totally affect a conversation and help provide emotional context, they are a great comunication tool when used right.
My parents also met online, now they've been married for 18 years and have me
My parents met online. At this point in time, I'm just a bunch of goop in my Dad's balls. I really hope he scores with my Mum so I can be born.
She made a culturally offensive joke and she's an anthropologist?? That's the study of people and culture?? There's no way she's actually a good anthropologist if she thought that was okay
FOR REAL...
I like your username, but I disagree. Comedy is subjective. There's no way to police what jokes are and are not okay while also preserving freedom of speech. You're on a slippery slope there, pal.
@@TheRealFaceyNeck well citizens can police jokes as much as we want. Freedom of speech is about if the govt can step in to stop the joke, which no one is proposing. We police other's speech all the time. We shame people who curse loudly in public, who yell insults, who talk in theaters. It's the same concept
@free forever op actually doesnt say anything about the morality of the joke directly, op is just commenting on how ironic it is that a cultural anthropologist would say that joke, since that profession is what you would consider the ultimate sjw
@free forever ok maybe sociologists are the number 1 "sjw" but cultural anthropology deals w a lot of sociology and acceptance/understanding/respect of other races/cultures. In uni I took cultural anthro and a lot of it was about racism, gender non conformity around the world, etc. Not that I'm an expert. But surely someone who is you would think wouldnt throw random jabs at different cultural stereotypes lol
I'm studying anthropology and like her being bigoted towards japan is against what is taught in the field and also like she didnt use participant observation correctly.
nick hower anthro 101 detected 😂😂
Like really?
Wait? Its a real thing?
To be fair, a culturally insensitive joke is not the same as being actually bigoted. Was it funny? No, but is she actually bigoted toward Japan? You probably know about as much as I do.
@@troll3296 it was just an unfunny joke. it would have been if it was executed well but it just came off as offensive and ignorant.
Love the fact he tried to use the H.O.T A.P.E dumbass rules in RuneScape, then accidentally killed the dude he was using it on!! Awesome that he unlocked an achievement tho!!
My feet naturally point outwards. I always thought it was due to my genetics, bone structure, etc., but it turns out I’m just constantly planning my escape from every situation. How did I not see it before?
My case is the opposite, as my knees are very crooked, very pigeon toed. I guess according to this woman i just scare people away with my uninterested, squirrel monkey ways
Awe fucked legs squad
I feel like all of these "signs" of flirting are actually just things you can do to appear more confident (when used in appropriate ways). Eye contact, breaking the touch barrier, striking up humourous conversation are good ways to seem confident but I don't think it should be used to try and interpret others actions or be a "formula" for making people liking you.
Thank you!
I'm also tired of it. My traumatized brain and autism make those impossible, and I'm tired of getting fucked over because it is impossible for me to appear confident
K. Charrette hey man, I know how you feel to an extent, I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but I often feel really socially inept. I use to try to force myself to do confident things like start conversation or make more jokes and it only makes shit worse, I’m 100% sick of it at this point I’ve completely stopped watching these ‘do this to be confident ‘ videos and shit. They’re too frustrating to even think about.
K. Charrette I have struggled with social anxiety for a long time and only after therapy and years of practice am I starting to get more comfortable with it. It's definitely hard to force something that isn't natural. I don't think that these are necessary steps to being a happy person or even making friends just things that some people respond positively to. There are more people out there who understand what it's like to struggle with socializing and they understand when you can't make eye contact etc. (Cause they can't either) that's why these videos are unrealistic. There's no cookie cutter way to make connections with people. If acting "confident" isn't natural to you then it might come across disingenuous. Thats something I had to learn the hard way too. But in the end I've slowly learned the best way for ME to make friends and relationships and it definitely wasn't by following a step by step guide from a Karen at a Ted talk lol.
Yeah it sounds like a recipe for disaster. I could totally see some awkward guys taking this advice to heart and digging themselves in a deeper hole.
I feel like she just thinks everybody’s flirting with her all the time so she just connected regular human interaction habits to flirting. Like “oh the clerk at Walmart smiled at me and said have a nice day they must me flirting!”
It’s horrible. I can laugh at a joke/tell jokes with the opposite gender without it being a flirty thing. And the body language stuff is stupid. Sure there’s a small bit of truth in some body language stuff, but it’s not like you should give up the moment you see someone’s feet turned away. 99% of the time they’re just going to be standing like that without knowing they are.
10:55 I'm a guy born in 1983 so the majority of my flirting was done 1997-13. A woman giving you the arm touch in that era was one of the classic moves to let you know this was flirting rather than just being a nice person who is not interested in you romantically.
Her: "The person sitting next to you? it's happend to them." "And the person sitting in front of you? it's happend to them too". Me sitting alone in my room staring at a Mannequin.
@1world1blood that's golden. grabbing someone by the shoulders, making direct eye contact with them, and telling them "i'm using the HOT APE method"...they boutta use the " HOT MACE" method lmao. forgot to point ur feet at them, rookie mistake
Five??
Do you dress the mannequin in outfits that pertain to the season?
Wait why do you have a mannequin in your room?
1world1blood Smh, you forgot humor!
Dude... this marriage WONT work... you totally weren’t pointing your toes are her. Sad to see :(
All jokes aside... I mean... there’s something I just can’t... I mean...
Studies have proven that its near impossible to know when others are flirting with them unless they use some cliche move or line, or are actually trying to be obvious. If someone says they can always tell, then they either get hit on exclusively by cheesy obnoxious people, or they are just full of themselves and think everyone's flirting when they're not.
Sophie Caldwell I was about to comment this lol
Wow this is so beyond true. I’ve met way too many people that always think someone is flirting with them when those people were just being nice, decent individuals.
I am sometimes not even sure if I am flirting. How would other people know it for certain if I don't even know?
Part of the fun of flirting is that it's so ambiguous. Sometimes I don't even know myself if I'm flirting or not
@@esquilax5563 lol. as an introvert with anxiety, I hate that. My worst nightmare.
You almost used my favorite flirty pickup line. Your mistake is that after you ask if they are from Tennessee, you need to say "because I really think you should go back to where you I came from". It hasn't actually worked for me yet, but imma keep trying.
Haha
You don't even have to be Japanese to be offended by the Japanese "joke"
I'm just confused 😅
@@MeWe-fh1lu these like a new story about this one dude who married an AI in japan (BUT a guy from the u.s did the same)
It’s like going, “one of those fattys from America”
To be fair, Rinko is from a dating sim game that was massively popular. I think it was called love+?
I didn't find the joke funny, I just found the reference to be weird in retrospect.
As someone who's:
Not Japanese.
Doesn't play dating sims.
And doesn't even like anime.
You are 100% correct.
KLousyfolds I can think of several different video game Rinkos, but I didn’t know that one! Wonder if she knew that or just looked up Japanese names. Also hate the way she tried to pronounce it lol.
This just sounds like the D.E.N.N.I.S. system
Ryan Luetzow it’s every so often cloudy in chicago!
If you follow the H.O.T.A.P.E system, no one will ever say no to you...”because of the implication...”
@@kwecmonster3597 lmao
@@kwecmonster3597 are you going to hurt these women?
Ryan Luetzow Disregard the "thumbs" rating system, this is officially the top comment.
If anyone disagrees they can fight me irl.
This is the quarantine content I need: man and fiance learning how to do normal human actions. hell yeah.
She keeps using HOT APE as a verb...like she's saying "Which way do you want to Humour, Open body language, Touch, Attention, Proximity and Eye contact me more?"