MONTESSORI AT HOME: Positive Discipline Examples & What To Do
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 23 ก.ค. 2019
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MONTESSORI AT HOME: POSITIVE DISCIPLINE // Learn how to handle toddler tantrums and a variety of the most common, undesirable behaviors in young children using a Montessori approach combined with positive discipline techniques and respectful parenting strategies.
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#montessori #toddlers #parenting
For kids old enough to understand, if they don't want me to hold their hand to cross the street, I ask them to hold my hand and watch for cars to keep me safe. Or you keep me safe and I'll keep you safe. Then they are happy to have the special job of keeping me safe and the fight stops.
Jennifer DeJong this is such a good idea! I have a very fast toddler that likes to take off at any moment, so I’ve been using a toddler backpack with her, but I’m still not 100% ok with the judgement and behind my back comments of “having your child on a leash.”
Thank you for this idea😘
Jennifer DeJong I wish this worked for us. Our daughter is a sprinter. 😣
Monica Crawford same! I tried this the other day and while it did work, DD still kept tugging on my arm to run with her instead. Think I’m going to keep using the toddler backpack as a happy medium for her independence and safety.
@@MDC21122MWC I wonder if this works for me because I have boys. My boys are protective of me already which is why I thought of it. I wonder what would motivate your daughter to willingly comply. Parenting is always interesting!
I saw a post on instagram and it said your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time!!
I LOVE THIS!!! 👏🏻
Both !
Love love love it!
I had seen that too and it shifted my parenting greatly!!
"They're learning what it means to be human and you are their guide on that journey." I love this very much!
I just wish my mum was given a chance to understand this and had more time to prepare us a bit more. I am nowwe learning yo be Human and be a mum and be a life partner and be a better daughter oml so many roles that i didn't really take on with a full understanding.
On taking turns, kid snatching toys
2:31 - 6:02
Brushing Teeth
6:03 - 8:22
Getting Dressed
8:23 - 10:40
Leaving the House
10:41 - 12:41
Getting into Carseat
12:43 - 13:46
Leaving the Park or the Zoo
13:47 - 15:27
Interrupting
15:28 -17:00
Transitions
17:00 - 18:30
Screen Time
18:31 - 20:11
Whining
20:11 - 21:29
Not Using Toys/Activities Appropriately
21:29 - 23:27
Getting up during Mealtime/Playing or Throwing Food
23:28 - 25:50
Public Tantrums
25:51 - 27:03
Holding Your Hand
27:04 - 27:54
Hitting, Pushing, Biting, etc and Making Amends
27:54 - 35:19
Helpful tips
35:19 - end
Rabia Khan thank you for posting ❤️
You are awesome! Thank you
Thank you!!
Wonderful!! Thank you!
doing the Lords work.
Do I have kids? Nope
Do I currently want kids? Nope
This is just Uber fascinating and I wanna learn enough that I’ll remember when I am ready
TheAssassiNyx same!
Same girl! Its so interesting!!
Same here. My husband and I will only start trying in four years or so. But yes, I want to educate myself now and run what I learn by my husband to make sure we will be on the same page, parenting-wise
pretty sure this is huge sign that you all will be great parents
Uber with a capital U? You mean über?
I don’t know who needs to see this but it’s never too late to learn a better way to work with your child. Just because you feel like you’ve messed up a lot up to this point doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around! Like she says, you and your child are a team, and it’s a wonderful thing when your child realizes they can rely on you for empathy and guidance.
😭 thank you
Needed this!!! 🥲
That’s such a great comment! Thank you
I needed to read this one. Single mom of 2 boys age 5 and 7. I am in over my head and yelling is not working clearly. I grew up with screaming and spankings and I do not do the spanking even though that is advice I do get from my parents. I know it did not work properly. Yelling, is hard to Crack though. I have no patience. I am trying the last 6 Mos to be more patient but I still slip a lot. I really want to learn to control my emotions so my children can learn. My 5 yr old has the worst temper snd says hurtful words out of hurt feelings. It breaks my heart because I know it's learned behavior. :( seeing this comment verified my attempts to continue this and never stop trying for better
Thank you for this because I'm making changes at ages 4&6 . I messed up a lot to this point but I love my kids and I want to break the cycle and be the best mom I can .
Unrelated but I have been using the Montessori method for my 14 year old (sister in law I'm raising). She was never a problem child, I just didn't know how to raise a child (I was only 20 and she was 10, but I have been caring for her since she was 4). We have the strongest relationship possible. We both have a mutual respect and love for each other. I make comments about what needs to be done and she offers to do it for me. She is a high honors student, but struggles with her own self expectations so we have been working on that for a few months now. When I'm around her I act the way I want her to act, it's honestly changed me as a person over time for the better.
Hi! Not sure if you already know this but the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" was a huge help to me in learning how to express helpful compliments and build self esteem. I think there's also a teen version (How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk).
This!
this’ll be helpful for me when i have children
_watches this when i’m sixteen because i literally love kids so much_
- milky dreams I don’t even want kids but I’m still watching this 😂
Honestly. I'm HAPPY you are looking into parenting at 16! It's never too early to learn about things like this. The more you know when the time comes the better! You'll make a great mama one day 💖
Allysa Lawson yep haha !! i’m looking into it early because there’s no way in hell im gonna treat my kids the way my parents treated me
Those things are also handy when you go babysitting or in contact with other humans.
In eldery care i have some stubborn people but like learned here. Saying which emotions you see and acknowledging their emotions is very useful
SAME! Another channel I really like is the Mellow Mama, you should totally check it out!
I have no clue why this got recommended to me seeing as I'm in high school and don't want to have kids for quite a while yet, but I wanted to say that this sort of thing genuinely works when you're looking after younger kids! I was babysitting my (at the time) 4-year-old cousin a while ago, and she didn't want to come downstairs. I remembered something I had read about stuff like this and so I told her "I know you don't want to come down, but since you have to, would you like me to carry you down or do you want to walk down yourself?" No joke, she stood up and walked right down immediately. I couldn't believe it worked.
Basically what I'm trying to say here is that this is really useful for anyone, even if you're not a parent, so I'm glad you're making informative videos like this :)
Just discovered your channel last night and tried using the empathy steps during my 1yro sons tantrum. He really didnt want his diaper changed so I stopped, placed him in my lap and just hugged him and gave him kisses. I then got him to laugh and was able to change him easily. 💙 THANK YOU!
Pathetic
logically, this makes so much sense to me but i was raised soooo far the opposite that i have such a hard time understand that people actually parent like this
Honestly me too. But I want to change. Ive noticed my son yelling and being super aggressive. Probably mimicking me when I become impatient. I dont want my son to be afraid of me like I was with my parents. I just want mutually respectful relationship
catrena sanders That’s totally understandable that you don’t want that, but there are other ways to get that mutual respect w out resorting to all this. Most moms that practice this come off really, “I’m better than you,” ish. And the kids aren’t allowed to have toys that are just fun, they barely have anything in their bedrooms, no bright colors... it’s just a lot of things I disagree w about it. Like for instance, there absolutely IS some behavior that is, “bad,” and the whole encouraging them not to share thing is just crazy. Also, my kid *will not* tell me when I can have a turn brushing his teeth or anything else. Lol
@Leonie JoHo thank you!!! See i believe if a child doesn't want to share their toy or whatever it is... they shouldn't be obligated to either. They should want to share sure, but to say that all kids need to share everything is unrealistic and i think actually teaches them they can't say no to things they don't like or want. If i asked to have your car... you say no... i am not then obligated by any means to still use or share YOUR car. As an adult i can say no to someone who wants money. Why can't a child say no to giving someone their book or toy? they should be able to have that control over their own personal things. which is also a reason why i think it's important for children to actually have their own personal items. (doesn't mean a lot of items, but something that is theirs.) I watched my sister have children and have only shared toys. none of her kids owned anything for themselves. Caused a lot of issues. Shared toys are great but when your kid owns nothing they 1. don't know responsibility for it and 2. don't know how to respect things that are not theirs in the future. It's all a fine line or not wanting your kid to be mean but also not wanting them to learn to get walked all over. IMO anyway.
Leonie JoHo I'm a preschool teacher, and sharing toys teaches kids how to be cooperative, patient, and basic social skills. A child in a room full of other kids can't play with the same toy all day if other kids would also like to play with said toy, because it's simply unfair to all the other kids. You teach them everyone gets a turn, you can play with the toy for x amount of minutes and then it's the next child's turn. If a child doesn't know how to share they'll definitely have a tough time in a school setting and probably life all together lol.
Preschool Essentials this video does not go against sharing. It encourages taking turns( which indirectly is sharing).
OMG, Mia's little hand popping up every now and then is so cute!
I watched all of your positive discipline videos when my daughter was 5-6 months old. if you hadnt made these, I wouldnt have ever found positive discipline. simply because you sat down & shared your knowledge, you have influenced & highly improved my life & my daughters life. thank you so much. she is 18 months today, & I am rewatching these to remind myself of everything with how much things have changed. I am very proud of how many of these things I automatically do without even thinking. your advice was hardwired into my brain & now its just autopilot for me. I can be really hard on myself on the tiny details of everything, so realizing that Ive successfully been practicing creating a positive & safe enviroment for my daughter this whole time, has made me feel a lot better. I cant thank you enough. I love your videos
Wonderful comment!
I love how you say "i know AND ..." and not "but"
Anyone else watch this video several times over their years as a parent? I became a mom in 2018 and this channel as a whole is such a wonderful resource for what I consider the best way to navigate parenthood, even the hard stuff. Thank you for the work you do.
Yes!!!! :)
I also became a mom in 2018 & now with 3 toddlers I am struggling more and more with remaining calm and collective but I hope to continue watching these to help me regulate my parenting style bc I hate flipping on them 😭😭😢 I apologize but I’m also in therapy bc it’s so hard.
As for the holding hands, what always worked with my kids is saying, “we have to be safe crossing the street. There are cars that could hurt you. You can either hold my hand or I’ll have to carry you” 9 times out of 10, they’ll straighten up and choose holding hands because they like to be independent and not carried. There are those few times they’ll take me up on the carrying thing but it’s very rare 😂 another thing my mom always did with me was to say “how about you hold my hand with my ring?” I always thought it was so cool to hold her hand with the pretty wedding ring on it. Then when my sister started walking with us we’d end up fighting over who got the ring finger so she would wear another ring that was her moms on the other finger and we would take turns 😊
🤣🤣
That’s so sweet!
How heartwarming!🥰
😍😍😍😍💞
That is such a sweet core memory. I always love hearing those types of little memories. Even tho you are a stranger, it's a piece of happiness that lived in the world, even just for a fleeting moment.
Day 1 of using your ideas and it’s going SO well! I’ve already avoided a few of our normal tantrums. First one was when she threw her face washer on the ground, stomping her feet saying “naughty!” and getting all huffy and puffy. I asked her calmly why it was naughty and she told me because it’s not wet anymore. I asked her if she’d like me to wet it again, she said “yes please Mum!”, picked it up and gave it to me. Then she thanked me over and over again, washed her face, handed it back to me saying “please wet it again Mum”.
Normally I would say “pick that up and hand to me, or you’re going to bed. Stomp your feet like that, and you’ll go to bed”.
I also used your car seat advise and asked her whether she’d like some help to get in her car seat, or does she want to do it herself. She hopped in and put her arms in for me - no fight!! Amazing.
Imbecile she controls you
My daughter will cry and I will ask her what’s wrong and she will say “I don’t know” all in sniffles and it’s happened a few times, I typically just hug her and let her know she doesn’t ever need to feel sad for no reason, mommy’s got you-but it’s still heartbreaking she does it
Me and my daughter call that the “weird feeling” and if we don’t know what’s wrong we acknowledge the weird feeling and allow her to cry. I always say we all need to cry sometimes because it makes us feel better (which is true) and she usually will calm down and talk to me. She has started acknowledging this feeling and when she’s older we can work on figuring out what those feelings are and what it means.emotions are valid and okay and we don’t always need to label things!
Wow. Can we all please give this woman an award of some kind?
I worked in a classroom with 3 & 4 year old children. If there was fighting over an object, I would put it away and explain to the children that I would give it back when they had worked out a solution regarding how they were going to share. Inevitably i would see the children go off and have a little discussion and return to me and say "we worked it out"....there was no need for me to micro-manage, be the referee, be the solution provider
I LOVE THIS!!!
My grandmother cut our ball in half because we kept fighting lmao.
@@mily87ful hahahhahahaha savage grandma
In addition to giving your kiddo as heads up before you have to leave somewhere I set a timer on my phone. This way, they hear it themselves and know it’s time to go because the timer has gone off not because I’m telling them. This way we are on the same team and I can empathize with them. We say goodbye to all the piece of the playground (goodbye slide etc. ) like the Goodnight Moon book and finish by saying “till next time!” So she knows we can revisit another day :).
Thank you for this video amazing examples so helpful
Can you do a video on how to communicate parenting choices to caretakers and relatives to build consistency for a child? Do you write out rules and guidance? I find that sometimes grandparents resort back to their personal methods of discipline (which I am against). I want to encourage positive relationships for my child but this territory is new and very difficult. Perhaps you have a personal story of how you navigate this :)
Agreed!!!!!!!! I need a video like this too!!!
Agree - I have a hard time having my spouse agree with my methods, let alone relatives. Please share suggestions on how to make other people understand positive discipline
I made them watch these videos lol but Id love a video on this too
you say "I gave birth to this child and this is how I am going to raise them. Respect me and my decision as a mother, or don't be in their life."
My mother absolutely refused to allow my wife and I to parent, and after a lot of "conversations" it was clear she wouldn't budge one bit. So we moved outta state and that's that. Yes, it's hard without family support but not living in a toxic environment is much much better.
I wish I had more thumbs... seriously want to fight grandma
I'm having such a hard time with age 3.5 and I've been a mean, ragey, and grouchy mom today. Thanks for the ideas.
An old-fashioned mom here…also a grandmother and great grandmother…..a teacher for 18 yrs…K-8, high school, and Soccer Coach of 20 yrs. all ages…..In-as-much as I respect and support SOME…of the Montessori….but…after rearing 3 kids with Absolutely NO problems….I do Feel that the Adult must be in Control and Receive the Respect…..first & foremost….this young lady is just starting out…I have quite a bit of real life experience under my belt….I started with my kids at 2 yrs old…..Doing their own Laundry, Cooking, Dressing themselves…..they LOVED pushing buttons on washer and dryer….Loved Cooking…and Loved laying out their ‘Clothes bodies’…for the next day..they also did their own Grocery shopping….with me on a Friday night….All grown, successful and have Decades-old marriages…I Taught…***Respect, Responsibility, and Resourcefulness…*** This gal mentions..Packing their Lunch boxes…NO‼️they Pack Their Own…From their section of choices in the Refrigerator and Cupboards…..NEVER HAD TEMPER TANTRUMS…..and ONLY Used a ‘Binky’ during teething..Not until 4 yrs. old…..Sadly…my friends who disagreed with my parenting choices….Ended up with TEEN-AGED PROBLEMS galore…….Parent to Be Respected and Show & Teach Respect….is #1….
Oh my goodness!! Hello there!! I’m so relieved I found you. I’m a mom of 3 boys. I got a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 4 month! I have to tell you that stress hits me hard lately and I ended up resorting up yelling or feeling like I need to hit them to understand. But I started watching your videos and Oh My Lord!! Thank you. You explain things in such a clear way and I’ve been practicing positive disciplining all week. I notice a HUGE difference in their behavior and the way they communicate with each other. My husband and I even use it on each other in front of them and my oldest literally dropped his jaw at it hahah. I am looking forward to more videos! ❤️
Love that you’re modeling it with your husband for the kids! So powerful for them to see! 😊
Thank you ❤️ so I know Montessori encourages independent sleep. I saw your video on that one.
My 4 and 2 year old have become accustomed to me scratching their backs or singing them a song to sleep. With a 4 month baby, I don’t always have the ability to do that.. when I don’t do that, my 2 year old usually screams and beg to be scratched. I offered him a hug and talked to him about him putting himself to sleep. But he only stays calm for so long before yelling all over again and refusing to lay in bed. Is there anything you do to help and encourage independent sleep. Or maybe a suggestion on how to redirect his emotions and to be understanding?
My toddler sometimes refuses to go to sleep, too. They have such serious FOMO, haha! I find that my best strategy with her, as tough as it can be sometimes, is to be firm. Mean what you say. So, tell them you're going to scratch their back for just 30 seconds, give them a hug, and say good night. And then do it. A little crying may ensue the first couple of times, but eventually it will pass. With a small baby who doesn't understand the concept of waiting, you do what you have to do. And perhaps the next day, at a more neutral time (like during breakfast), you can chat with your two kiddos about how sometimes they will need to go to sleep without a back scratch or song, because baby is too little right now to understand about waiting. Maybe you can even role play it out with them during fun play time, and get them giggling about it, just to give them a chance to practice, too! :)
i’ve been having such a hard time. i was raised to spank and yell, i’m told by my parents (who my 2 year old son and i live with) and friends/family that it’s just how you’re supposed to discipline children. i don’t wanna do that to my son. i struggle with yelling, and more recently, spanking. though it has only happened honestly less than a handful of times, i end up crying every single time because i don’t want to do it and i try to have a talk with him about “why”. this is still not enough because i feel like i’m only introducing like, acceptance of abuse because we’re talking about it? does that make sense?
anyway, i think this video is heaven sent. i’m praying that it’s not too late to start positive discipline. i’m hoping that it’s effective and that i can get my parents to use it with him too, as they care for him a lot while i’m working.
i don’t want to hurt my son and his future. :( i pray that this works and it’s not too late.
1. In regards to getting dressed, sometimes, it's better not to fight and let your child deal with the consequences of his or her choice. Does your child refuse to put on a coat? Fine. Explain that she's going to be cold outside, but don't fight it if she still refuses. Being cold on one outing isn't going to be the end of the world (and the real issue is going to be going between the car and whatever store(s) you're visiting anyway since most stores are kept warm enough and the coat shouldn't be worn in the carseats).
2. If your child is refusing to go to school/daycare and is putting up a fuss (especially if it is an ongoing issue or something that has happened suddenly with little to no warning), you may need to talk to your child's teacher. A sudden shift in behavior and a refusal to go to school/the sitter's house/daycare could be a sign of something else going on. It doesn't necessarily indicate a sign of abuse. There could be a child who is a little rough with the other students or maybe the special guest who came in with the wild animals scared your child. It could also be something as simple as evening routine being a blur of get home, eat dinner, bath, and bedtime; your child may simply need more quality time with you [so many kids are in school from 8am to 6pm; the only time at home is either getting ready for school or getting ready for bed].
3. If your child's issue is also keeping the carseat straps in place, you may have to take more drastic measures, including getting a chest clip lock. You can always give your child a choice: locked or unlocked UNTIL/UNLESS s/he shows that it needs to be locked. "We can leave it unlocked, but if you move your chest clip, then I'm going to have to lock it." [I'm generally not for forcibly restraining a child, but I think the car is a different story. If your child is able to unbuckle or wiggle out of his or her carseat straps, the behavior needs to be addressed. This may include buying buckle/chest clip guards. The LAST thing you want is for your toddler to climb out of the carseat while you're speeding down the highway at 70MPH.
4. When I was younger, my dad had a rule that we hold onto his belt straps in the parking lot until we could touch the car. At that point, we were allowed to let go of him, but we had to keep one hand on the car. I think, even with holding hands, there can be a little bit of choice given. "You can hold onto my hand or you can hold onto my jacket, purse strap, etc." If there are two parents, then the choice between holding mommy's hand or daddy's hand can also help. Did you grab a shopping cart by the car? "Do you want to sit in the seat or hold onto the cart and walk?" Many children don't like to feel restrained. They'll gladly hold onto the end of your shirt, but they don't want YOU holding onto them. Teaching them to hold onto your clothing or the stroller/cart is especially good if you have multiple children and don't have enough hands to hold hands (which is why my dad had us hold his belt loops; he was pushing a shopping cart and couldn't always hold our hands). There may come a time when Mia is riding in the wagon, Kylie is walking, and you have your hands full with dog leashes and the wagon. Instead of actually holding your hand to cross the street, you may instruct Kylie to hold onto one of the leashes with you.
5. Going back to teeth brushing. Choices can also help here. Let your child pick out his/her toothbrush and toothpaste at the store. Maybe the toothbrush with a favorite character will work to motivate a child. Perhaps you should upgrade the entire family to Quip toothbrushes with different colored handles (they have child-sized brushheads that work on any of their handles). Seeing that their toothbrush is just like Mommy's and Daddy's may be effective.
As always, thanks for your incredibly thoughtful tips! I love all these additions!! 🥰
Lissa, the tips you have helpful so much. I am struggling for half years now for child issue putting into car seat from home to daycare and day care to home daily. I am driving one hour each way to daycare and another one hour to home. I spend total 3 hours roughly a day in the car.
Around 5 months ago( she was 1 year mark), after me off work and took her from day care to home. She rejected to get into car seat and cried so bad. I always telling her we are going home, daddy waiting for us or food waiting for us while walked into car. While took out socks pants and wipes her hands(she at snacks when picked up) singing or asked her hows her day give her some time to know we are going home around 10-15 mins. But the cried beginning when put her down, she pushed herself up rejected. Most of times, I have to pressed her down, buckle and then hold her said im sorry but we must to go home now. Sometimes she cried continuously whole way home. I kept creating some diy toys, soft toys, stickers books can provide and singing songs, play story audios, gave her favorite blanket, stuffed animals on the car to keep entertain her. Most of time help to stop her crying is, my hands and pacify, but this cannot offer so long during one hour driving.
Now she is 16 M, the struggles its more serious, not just way home from daycare struggling but the way to daycare now in morning. I once talked to daycare several days ago if something happen during daycare but seems normal. One time, I forget her pacify and she cried entire road for 50 mins (stop and cried loud) I dont know what to do to help reduce the tears on her face every drive now. If you or anyone knows the tips that can help that I am willing to try them all. Thank you!
@@evonnehsu1216 Try putting on some nice music that you both like. Put nice music on every time you do that drive. She will start expecting the music, maybe she will relax with it soon.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant with our first, and while I feel a little overwhelmed already, I'm very grateful for your clear directions and understanding. It's comforting when you say things like, "It's going to take time to implement" or realizing that not all kids will be easy. So thank you for a realistic, grounded approach! I was a difficult kid, and I don't want my child growing up feeling ashamed of or unable to express their feelings to me like I was with my parents. Definitely going to be watching your series.
It’s a good thing you are watching educational videos like this early on. Too many of us (me included) was only thinking about the pregnancy, and pregnancy videos almost all the way up to the end. Instead , or alongside that, I should have been watching more childcare videos, from newborn to infant and so on. About gas, burping, crying sounds and what they mean, breastfeeding, sleep training (after several months), having other people around in their lives early on so they don’t have extreme separation anxiety and so on. It was very difficult for me, I had no one to help me and was stressed out a lot. Still can’t sleep, I haven’t slept a full night’s rest since the beginning of the pregnancy.
It’s great you are forward thinking, I really should have been watching the newborn videos instead of just what to buy for babies, etc. so much information I did not know, and Honestly, this really should be taught (again) extensively to all students when they get to a certain age, as it would prepare a better society for the future if people are educating in life, and not just about prehistoric dinosaurs or the past presidents.
And teething
@@FoodShowFan My son is 16 months now, and I'm actually pregnant with our second, so it's a bit surreal to get a response to this out of the blue! I don't know how old your child is or where you are at in all of the postpartum craziness, but I know how tough the whole journey is. It's so hard and no one ever truly prepares us for it. And in some ways they can't because everyone's journey through pregnancy and postpartum is different. I felt like someone had reached into my brain and scrambled it after the birth. It was so hard to function and do the simplest things. I still don't feel quite right, but I'm starting to get better (just in time for baby number two 🙃).
Don't worry too much about what you should have done. We all have blind spots and we do the best that we can with what we have. I have my own regrets but in the end, my son is happy and healthy, and he's growing at his own pace. Even if that's not where the charts say he should be. And we're working through the things that frustrate us both (like tantrums).
I'm so sorry that you can't sleep. I struggled with insomnia as well, and it was the most awful thing. I did what I could to prioritize my health and mental wellness because I knew that would let me care for my baby the best. Which...is so much easier said than done. The Mom Guilt can be truly debilitating. And being sleep deprived is torture. I really hope you are able to sleep better soon. Know you're not alone in the struggle. 💛
Thank you for these videos. I’m a yeller and feel guilty and frustrated and confused as to how to handle my four children 24/7 and I end up hurting them and nothing works. As tough as it is for me I’m going to begin implementing these strategies today and really try to test this out and change this trajectory. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
It can be helpful for you to make a dot point list of the steps you want to use in certain situations. Post it on the inside of a cupboard door. So when a situation occurs, take a deep breath, check over the dot points to remind yourself and then implement the process. Good luck!
My son (age 4) wouldn’t get dressed , he had his underpants on, but that was it, & no matter what I said & did he would not get dressed. I tried to dress him but he just threw a massive tantrum. So I just picked him up ( as I was starting to lose my temper / patience ) & went off to the supermarket, put him in the trolley & did my shop. He was dead quite, never said anything & sat perfectly still in the trolley. He now gets dressed by himself as soon as he has made his bed. He has never thrown another tantrum about clothing & he makes sure that he is 100% dressed before he comes downstairs. I laugh about it now but at the time I was fuming 😂😂😂😂
Natalie Hill love this one!! Omg! 😂
Natural consequences 😂
Yeah someone would call social services if you did that in my country
@@opalisthebestever3405 She was not endangering the child in any way.
@@opalisthebestever3405 and literally nothing would happen.
Can you make a video on how to deal with other kids, that are "violent" and parents tolerating it? For example on the playground? Like some kid is hitting or kicking your kid
Yes please make a video how to control other kids behaviour towards your children
You cant control other kids behavior you can only show your child how to react to it and when its ok to defend themselves/how to defend themselves
@@amnashoaib3382 asalamalaykum i can say i had to use the advice from the Montessori notebook girls. I had to physically remove a 4 year old from the trampoline when he was purposely bouncing my 1 year old on her first time on it. She ws so scared and i wad scared she was going to get shaken. I instantly held him as he was closer in reach than she was ( hes my cousin's child) he is biiig and i lifted him out and was saying i can't let you hurt her i am removing you from the trampoline i know its not nice as he was kicking his legs and whinning i said i am sorry its my job to make sure everyone is safe i have to seperate you. Then i picked up my baby girl stood up and kept her safe from him it didn't matter to me if he hit me but i kept saying im sorry i had to seperate you as it was dangerous. Since then i have learnt you cant trust a child to understand what is dangerous with other children under than them.
@@zamiaramirez1390 This can probably get ugly, to be honest. Children are simply regressing due to parental neglect, abuse, and permissive parenting. Yes, an aggressive form of self-defense is necessary nowadays. In many cases, the parents will just get ghetto about the situation. This mostly happens in lower class and lower middle class neighborhoods and schools though. I always conceal carry with my license because you simply never know anymore. My children will be taught about that as they get older.
okay, ive fallen down a hapa family rabbit hole
Great tips and as a single dad to a 13 month old boy this will help us both out now and in the future. Thanks
I love how you explain everything and give examples, I get really frustrated when I see parents at the supermarket talking disrespectfully to their 3 year olds for wanting something they dont want to buy, when the whole supermarket is made for them and us to want to buy shit we dont need...
“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”
Agreed but as parents we also shape our children’s behaviours by how we intervene and respond
I'm currently pregnant and absoluetly LOVVVVVVVEEEEEEE THISSSS!!!!!!!!!!! CANNOT WAIT TO CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPLEMENT THIS!
I am a mother to a 15 month old and a one month old.
These techniques have helped me so much. They have also helped my husband and I, find common ground in parenting styles.
With your videos I have completely changed my sons room, toy arrangements and started potty training at 15 months.
Thank you so much for your insight and willingness to share information to other parents seeking to implement the Montessori method!
This video continues to prove how much you fully love and respect the wholesome development of a child.
Omg! That’s awesome! I hope that God gives me wisdom and patience to remember all these tips during a tantrum. 😅
Im only 22 and I dont plan on having babies any time soon but I found your videos and honestly it has made me so much more excited that there are other ways to parent.
I’ve been living Montessori for almost 20 years now. You’ve managed to explain discipline with such perfection. I wish I knew all of this when I was raising my 3. But I have learned along the way! I look forward to sharing this video every chance I get.
How are enough living it if you didn’t raise kids this way
I sing a song that’s the right length of time and it really helps her keep brushing until the end…and not quitting too early.
I do the same thing! I'll sing the "A-B-Cs" four times (with some embellishment to add a second or two), once for each area in the mouth.
I'm sure SO many parents will find this to be such a resource! It's so nice that you broke it down by situation/behavior so that it is easy to reference again in the future when you need it!
I cannot over emphasize how helpful your videos are! Thank you so much!
You're awesome for taking the time to help other parents. Thank you! 💙
Great video! Taking turns instead of forcing kids to share - that's a tip I was waiting for and I'm going to stick to this in the future.
I'm 21 minutes in and I can't take my eyes off of you Ash! so Informative! 🙌🏼🙏🏽
Your advice is so pure and on point.
Was waiting for Kylie the entire.video esp after the thumbnail.. :) she is adorable
Loved the content. "Being emotionally available and helping the child with their emotions" it amazes me how raising out kids the way we want to needs us to become better people. That's why I feel parenting is the most challenging and satisfying thing I've ever done.
Hi Ana! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t trying to be misleading at all, I promise! I just needed a thumbnail that got to the heart of the video content, and my only other alternative was a screenshot of my smiling face (which wasn’t quite what I had in mind, haha). I know a handful of folks asked for more actual examples with Kylie in it, but I don’t normally make a habit of whipping out my camera whenever she’s upset. I feel like that would be disrespectful of her privacy, and would also greatly undermine my ability to really and truly be there for her when she needs it most. The only reason I was able to include that one clip in the first video was because I just randomly happened to already be vlogging when it happened, and I could tell it wasn’t going to be a huge meltdown, so I left the camera rolling. I would almost feel like I’m exploiting my child if I were to purposefully try to set out capturing future misbehavior just for a video. So I sincerely hope that you (and anyone else who might have been thinking the same thing) can understand where I’m coming from on that, and that you still found some helpful tips anyway! 👍🏻 I was not aiming to disappoint anyone, only to further assist. 🥰 Thank you so much for watching!
Hey, it's totally fair that you should respect your child's privacy. Didn't mean it as misleading as much as #misskylie :)
. And yes, found interesting tips and reinforcements to things we know but forget. Thank you fir the video.
Agreed. Becoming a parent is such a gift for so many reasons. I love this video. Thank you ☺️
You are a miracle Ashley. Thank you so much. “Remain emotionally available and help them through their melt down...” is the hardest part for me - so good to remember and work on
My heart thumps while watching and listening to your video. :-) I have studied the Montessori Philosophy and taught in a Montessori school for 14 long years. I am a believer of this philosophy and I know that if one understands, embraces, and implements this from the heart, it will mold a child's perspective about the world and himself. Your video brings back so much of memories and it gives me that nostalgic feeling of being in a Montessori environment school. :-) I'm a fan here!
I am so grateful for having coming across your channel sister! So comprehensive...gift from God!
I could listen to this over and over. Simple and firm. Confident parenting is my favorite!
Wow this video helped me so much! I can’t wait to show my husband this video.
You’re incredible and deserve way more subscribers. You’re out here changing lives.
Ive been trying to implement your advice and lifestyle into mine and my daughters life. She is almost 3,5 years old. I notice that she notices a difference in the way I communicate with her, and that I am a bit ”softer” now, or less strict, and I feel that this gives her the option to express herself more, even though she has become more whiny or ”disobedient” in lack of a better word (Im from Sweden) and being a single parent I am trying my hardest to be patient with her when she is testing her boundaries in a completely different way now, and sometimes I really struggle with it.
But we will get there eventually and the more I learn from your videos the better our lives will be.
I am very happy that my daughter now feels that she can express her emotions more to me and showing me that trust, and it feels nice to be able to prove to her in a better way, that I care about her feelings.
Thank you!
This video is such a treasure. I love how you give specific examples which common for all parents and kids. There are many parents like me who have the best intentions but don’t know how and where to start positive parenting and these real life example are a quick start to make things positive in the household. Please keep making such videos. Thank you!
I work In a regular daycare and not a Montessori one, but I still try to Incorporate Conscious Discipline methods. Giving children choices, logical reasoning, and consistent limits Is bread and butter to their development, mood, and self regulation
Time outs work for me because I don’t use them as punishments, I use them as ‘we both need a cool off period’ kinda thing. My kids can read, or play, or do whatever they like, really, and we are both way calmer after.
All your videos are so informative! love love love! It's so interesting how children notice our tones, and how that makes a difference. My two year old has way less tantrums, and stopped fighting nap time and bed time because of the way I phrase things. So amazing!
This is, hands down, my favorite video on positive parenting. Thankyou so much for mapping out these situations with such clarity.
I love that you give suggestions in cases where a child absolutely refuses to adhere to the rules and boundaries… thank you!
This was helpful. For the most part our daughter is a wonderful and respectful child. She's 4. She's articulate. She's out-going. She will tell people: "I like your shirt" or "Your hair color is pretty". But, she does give us struggles with putting clothes on and brushing her hair. Although, I think we are making progress with her hair. She received a hair brush with soft bristles, like those on a wet brush. It's travel-sized and there is a plushy pink and purple colored cat on it. We pretend that the cat is so hungry and wants to eat the rats in her hair. She loves this and it makes brushing her hair enjoyable for her. I Have to retrain myself. Now, if I can only get my Husband on-board. He's accustomed to yelling, because his Dad yelled.
Hi Ashely! Putting Alex in a car seat is been a struggle pretty much since he was born, it finally got better, to the point where he doesn't want to come out of the car seat :D! Parenting is not an easy job but I feel like it's the most rewarding job in the world. I love the examples you used in the video, you are doing an amazing job with the Montessori series ❤️!
Your videos are rich in content and really informative. Thank you!
I have a 4year old kid and she is studying in a proper Montessori school here in India....I am learning so much from your videos as I still am not able to take the Montessori philosophy at home...
Edit: Although with every video i feel i should have started early on...feel like at 4 years she has already grown up and formed her own opinions!!!
Just wanted to say the same..😃
I have 2years old twin boys..n things are working very well...
Love from india
Last Time I asked her something...n she replied soo nicely....it was a super booster for me😃
Thank you so much for making videos like this. I grew up in a very toxic home and I never really learned how to deal with my own emotions. I am a new single mom of twin toddlers and your channel has helped me figure how to parent and raise them the gentle, kind, connected way I've wanted to. I am so grateful you started this channel and for every video you have posted! Thank you for all your hard work and insight!!
Excellent content. Love your style and I’m learning lots! Thank you for all the videos!
You are such a blessing to the world and of course to your family!
You’re so wonderful! What great content! Thank you so much for sharing💕
This is one of the best explanations of positive parenting I've found. I love that you are all for positive and respectful boundaries. That you dont have to let you child rule the house and do whatever they want, but they are also free to explore and learn how to live life. You're awesome!!!!
I needed this video so much. Thank you for putting this out there. Parenting this way while our goal has been difficult since neither myself or my husband were raised with any kind of gentleness
“I’ll give you something to cry about” was what I grew up with. So hearing this is the kind of guide I need to figure out a different way, a better way. Thank you again!!!
This is real disaplin! Disaplining is not "beat up your kid"
Theres a difference between disaplin and abuse! Thank you for this video!
Thanks for this, super useful as a refresh! Sometimes we just need reminding of these methods as the day to day can get you off course and you’re left wondering at which step you went wrong! It’s so wonderful to see how the methods you talk about really encourage a child’s independence and their ‘want’ to get involved and give stuff a go. Thank you
Been watching your videos for the montessori part and i can honestly say that yours is like the resume of all the montessori books out there, and for that im veryyyy thankful 💞
I am not a parent, although I have done a fair share of child care in my day. Some of these things I naturally do because my own mother did them with me even though I am sure she was not aiming for a Montessori philosophy specifically. I find your videos fascinating and insightful. While Montessori full on may not be for me personally, I find many of these methods to ring true and right for how I would want to interact with a child! Thank you for sharing your insight!
Thank you soooo much for this I love the guiding them back and helping them learn how to be people
I love this quick, info-packed video with the ideas I needed now to help with toddler behaviors.
Thank you so much for this video! You have been an amazing resource for me raising my 2 year old.
I needed this in my life ❤️🤞🏽 I’m going to try this to the fullest extant!
Im so glad I found your channel! I grew up in a household that normalized spanking and yelling as early as 1 years old. I don't want to repeat that pattern. Im so glad to have found a better way to parent ❤
Perfect way of helping people change the way they parent but for the better. Helped me heaps 🥰
Thanks for this! I really need to learn not to control everything.
Your videos are great! I feel like I’m a terrible mother 😢. But I already have done some things and I can see that they are effective. Thank you so much. Love from Chile 🇨🇱
I'm sure you're doing great, it's never too late to start!
The fact you feel bad means you’re not a terrible mother.
You can make slow changes and implement new things so you lose that feeling.
Very helpful!
Love your videos. I use to teach parenting classes and used the same approaches as you. When someone asks how to handle something I send them your way for awesome visual examples! Keep doing these, they are so helpful!
Thank you so much for this video!! My husband and I grew up with parents that parented very differently then the way that we want to parent so we have been struggling to get the gentle parenting style down. We have tried finding books to help, but often find that the books lack good examples of how to properly inplement ways of handling certain behaviors with toddlers.
Wonderful! I bet there needs to be a lot of patience and understanding from the adult to respond in this manner, but the relationship with your child and overall happiness of your family will be soooo worth it. I feel like everyone wins. Will save this video for later to restudy when the time comes :) Thank you Ashley~
One of the most useful videos I’ve ever watched! Thank you!
Thank you for making this! I've been feeling so overwhelmed. You first introduced me to Montessori two years ago and now I'm back again for more advice. I love the specific example and suggestions of what to say in certain scenarios
Those communication skills are A1
Soooo much great content/ value. I’m watching this for the second time in a week. I’m subscribed.
You’re so sweet, thank you! 😊
So am I lol
I love how these things are kinda what I've already done without knowing about montessori. I'm going to upkeep and implement more of these with my son
I appreciate all your day to day examples. Thanks
Wow your subscriber count has doubled in the last few weeks since I first watched! I find your videos very informative and helpful with day to day situations thank you! 😊
This is my favorite video of yours so far. You are such a good mother and I can only hope to one day be as good. You are my biggest inspiration as a parent.
This was AMAZING! this addressed so many issues I want to better handle with my children and I LOVED all of your suggestions. Thank you so much for sharing and helping other families.
I love this topic and how you teach us Ashley!! Really appreciate all your work on this youtube channel of yours!💜
Watching this after seeing someone discipline their children with yelling, threatening, shaming, and name calling. It absolutely broke my heart. I won't be that parent. Thank you for these wonderful loving examples of positive discipline!
Your best and most practical video so far, well done and thanks a lot!
I love the redirecting approach! AND it actually works in correcting behavior.