I don’t know who needs to see this but it’s never too late to learn a better way to work with your child. Just because you feel like you’ve messed up a lot up to this point doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around! Like she says, you and your child are a team, and it’s a wonderful thing when your child realizes they can rely on you for empathy and guidance.
I needed to read this one. Single mom of 2 boys age 5 and 7. I am in over my head and yelling is not working clearly. I grew up with screaming and spankings and I do not do the spanking even though that is advice I do get from my parents. I know it did not work properly. Yelling, is hard to Crack though. I have no patience. I am trying the last 6 Mos to be more patient but I still slip a lot. I really want to learn to control my emotions so my children can learn. My 5 yr old has the worst temper snd says hurtful words out of hurt feelings. It breaks my heart because I know it's learned behavior. :( seeing this comment verified my attempts to continue this and never stop trying for better
Thank you for this because I'm making changes at ages 4&6 . I messed up a lot to this point but I love my kids and I want to break the cycle and be the best mom I can .
For kids old enough to understand, if they don't want me to hold their hand to cross the street, I ask them to hold my hand and watch for cars to keep me safe. Or you keep me safe and I'll keep you safe. Then they are happy to have the special job of keeping me safe and the fight stops.
Jennifer DeJong this is such a good idea! I have a very fast toddler that likes to take off at any moment, so I’ve been using a toddler backpack with her, but I’m still not 100% ok with the judgement and behind my back comments of “having your child on a leash.”
Monica Crawford same! I tried this the other day and while it did work, DD still kept tugging on my arm to run with her instead. Think I’m going to keep using the toddler backpack as a happy medium for her independence and safety.
@@MDC21122MWC I wonder if this works for me because I have boys. My boys are protective of me already which is why I thought of it. I wonder what would motivate your daughter to willingly comply. Parenting is always interesting!
I just wish my mum was given a chance to understand this and had more time to prepare us a bit more. I am nowwe learning yo be Human and be a mum and be a life partner and be a better daughter oml so many roles that i didn't really take on with a full understanding.
Same here. My husband and I will only start trying in four years or so. But yes, I want to educate myself now and run what I learn by my husband to make sure we will be on the same page, parenting-wise
Unrelated but I have been using the Montessori method for my 14 year old (sister in law I'm raising). She was never a problem child, I just didn't know how to raise a child (I was only 20 and she was 10, but I have been caring for her since she was 4). We have the strongest relationship possible. We both have a mutual respect and love for each other. I make comments about what needs to be done and she offers to do it for me. She is a high honors student, but struggles with her own self expectations so we have been working on that for a few months now. When I'm around her I act the way I want her to act, it's honestly changed me as a person over time for the better.
Hi! Not sure if you already know this but the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" was a huge help to me in learning how to express helpful compliments and build self esteem. I think there's also a teen version (How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk).
I have no clue why this got recommended to me seeing as I'm in high school and don't want to have kids for quite a while yet, but I wanted to say that this sort of thing genuinely works when you're looking after younger kids! I was babysitting my (at the time) 4-year-old cousin a while ago, and she didn't want to come downstairs. I remembered something I had read about stuff like this and so I told her "I know you don't want to come down, but since you have to, would you like me to carry you down or do you want to walk down yourself?" No joke, she stood up and walked right down immediately. I couldn't believe it worked. Basically what I'm trying to say here is that this is really useful for anyone, even if you're not a parent, so I'm glad you're making informative videos like this :)
Just discovered your channel last night and tried using the empathy steps during my 1yro sons tantrum. He really didnt want his diaper changed so I stopped, placed him in my lap and just hugged him and gave him kisses. I then got him to laugh and was able to change him easily. 💙 THANK YOU!
I’ve been struggling with how to balance technology and faith in our home, and ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ provided some amazing insights that we’ve already started using
I watched all of your positive discipline videos when my daughter was 5-6 months old. if you hadnt made these, I wouldnt have ever found positive discipline. simply because you sat down & shared your knowledge, you have influenced & highly improved my life & my daughters life. thank you so much. she is 18 months today, & I am rewatching these to remind myself of everything with how much things have changed. I am very proud of how many of these things I automatically do without even thinking. your advice was hardwired into my brain & now its just autopilot for me. I can be really hard on myself on the tiny details of everything, so realizing that Ive successfully been practicing creating a positive & safe enviroment for my daughter this whole time, has made me feel a lot better. I cant thank you enough. I love your videos
Anyone else watch this video several times over their years as a parent? I became a mom in 2018 and this channel as a whole is such a wonderful resource for what I consider the best way to navigate parenthood, even the hard stuff. Thank you for the work you do.
I also became a mom in 2018 & now with 3 toddlers I am struggling more and more with remaining calm and collective but I hope to continue watching these to help me regulate my parenting style bc I hate flipping on them 😭😭😢 I apologize but I’m also in therapy bc it’s so hard.
Honestly. I'm HAPPY you are looking into parenting at 16! It's never too early to learn about things like this. The more you know when the time comes the better! You'll make a great mama one day 💖
Those things are also handy when you go babysitting or in contact with other humans. In eldery care i have some stubborn people but like learned here. Saying which emotions you see and acknowledging their emotions is very useful
As for the holding hands, what always worked with my kids is saying, “we have to be safe crossing the street. There are cars that could hurt you. You can either hold my hand or I’ll have to carry you” 9 times out of 10, they’ll straighten up and choose holding hands because they like to be independent and not carried. There are those few times they’ll take me up on the carrying thing but it’s very rare 😂 another thing my mom always did with me was to say “how about you hold my hand with my ring?” I always thought it was so cool to hold her hand with the pretty wedding ring on it. Then when my sister started walking with us we’d end up fighting over who got the ring finger so she would wear another ring that was her moms on the other finger and we would take turns 😊
That is such a sweet core memory. I always love hearing those types of little memories. Even tho you are a stranger, it's a piece of happiness that lived in the world, even just for a fleeting moment.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant with our first, and while I feel a little overwhelmed already, I'm very grateful for your clear directions and understanding. It's comforting when you say things like, "It's going to take time to implement" or realizing that not all kids will be easy. So thank you for a realistic, grounded approach! I was a difficult kid, and I don't want my child growing up feeling ashamed of or unable to express their feelings to me like I was with my parents. Definitely going to be watching your series.
It’s a good thing you are watching educational videos like this early on. Too many of us (me included) was only thinking about the pregnancy, and pregnancy videos almost all the way up to the end. Instead , or alongside that, I should have been watching more childcare videos, from newborn to infant and so on. About gas, burping, crying sounds and what they mean, breastfeeding, sleep training (after several months), having other people around in their lives early on so they don’t have extreme separation anxiety and so on. It was very difficult for me, I had no one to help me and was stressed out a lot. Still can’t sleep, I haven’t slept a full night’s rest since the beginning of the pregnancy. It’s great you are forward thinking, I really should have been watching the newborn videos instead of just what to buy for babies, etc. so much information I did not know, and Honestly, this really should be taught (again) extensively to all students when they get to a certain age, as it would prepare a better society for the future if people are educating in life, and not just about prehistoric dinosaurs or the past presidents.
@@NextLevelMeNow My son is 16 months now, and I'm actually pregnant with our second, so it's a bit surreal to get a response to this out of the blue! I don't know how old your child is or where you are at in all of the postpartum craziness, but I know how tough the whole journey is. It's so hard and no one ever truly prepares us for it. And in some ways they can't because everyone's journey through pregnancy and postpartum is different. I felt like someone had reached into my brain and scrambled it after the birth. It was so hard to function and do the simplest things. I still don't feel quite right, but I'm starting to get better (just in time for baby number two 🙃). Don't worry too much about what you should have done. We all have blind spots and we do the best that we can with what we have. I have my own regrets but in the end, my son is happy and healthy, and he's growing at his own pace. Even if that's not where the charts say he should be. And we're working through the things that frustrate us both (like tantrums). I'm so sorry that you can't sleep. I struggled with insomnia as well, and it was the most awful thing. I did what I could to prioritize my health and mental wellness because I knew that would let me care for my baby the best. Which...is so much easier said than done. The Mom Guilt can be truly debilitating. And being sleep deprived is torture. I really hope you are able to sleep better soon. Know you're not alone in the struggle. 💛
In addition to giving your kiddo as heads up before you have to leave somewhere I set a timer on my phone. This way, they hear it themselves and know it’s time to go because the timer has gone off not because I’m telling them. This way we are on the same team and I can empathize with them. We say goodbye to all the piece of the playground (goodbye slide etc. ) like the Goodnight Moon book and finish by saying “till next time!” So she knows we can revisit another day :). Thank you for this video amazing examples so helpful
logically, this makes so much sense to me but i was raised soooo far the opposite that i have such a hard time understand that people actually parent like this
Honestly me too. But I want to change. Ive noticed my son yelling and being super aggressive. Probably mimicking me when I become impatient. I dont want my son to be afraid of me like I was with my parents. I just want mutually respectful relationship
catrena sanders That’s totally understandable that you don’t want that, but there are other ways to get that mutual respect w out resorting to all this. Most moms that practice this come off really, “I’m better than you,” ish. And the kids aren’t allowed to have toys that are just fun, they barely have anything in their bedrooms, no bright colors... it’s just a lot of things I disagree w about it. Like for instance, there absolutely IS some behavior that is, “bad,” and the whole encouraging them not to share thing is just crazy. Also, my kid *will not* tell me when I can have a turn brushing his teeth or anything else. Lol
@Leonie JoHo thank you!!! See i believe if a child doesn't want to share their toy or whatever it is... they shouldn't be obligated to either. They should want to share sure, but to say that all kids need to share everything is unrealistic and i think actually teaches them they can't say no to things they don't like or want. If i asked to have your car... you say no... i am not then obligated by any means to still use or share YOUR car. As an adult i can say no to someone who wants money. Why can't a child say no to giving someone their book or toy? they should be able to have that control over their own personal things. which is also a reason why i think it's important for children to actually have their own personal items. (doesn't mean a lot of items, but something that is theirs.) I watched my sister have children and have only shared toys. none of her kids owned anything for themselves. Caused a lot of issues. Shared toys are great but when your kid owns nothing they 1. don't know responsibility for it and 2. don't know how to respect things that are not theirs in the future. It's all a fine line or not wanting your kid to be mean but also not wanting them to learn to get walked all over. IMO anyway.
Leonie JoHo I'm a preschool teacher, and sharing toys teaches kids how to be cooperative, patient, and basic social skills. A child in a room full of other kids can't play with the same toy all day if other kids would also like to play with said toy, because it's simply unfair to all the other kids. You teach them everyone gets a turn, you can play with the toy for x amount of minutes and then it's the next child's turn. If a child doesn't know how to share they'll definitely have a tough time in a school setting and probably life all together lol.
Day 1 of using your ideas and it’s going SO well! I’ve already avoided a few of our normal tantrums. First one was when she threw her face washer on the ground, stomping her feet saying “naughty!” and getting all huffy and puffy. I asked her calmly why it was naughty and she told me because it’s not wet anymore. I asked her if she’d like me to wet it again, she said “yes please Mum!”, picked it up and gave it to me. Then she thanked me over and over again, washed her face, handed it back to me saying “please wet it again Mum”. Normally I would say “pick that up and hand to me, or you’re going to bed. Stomp your feet like that, and you’ll go to bed”. I also used your car seat advise and asked her whether she’d like some help to get in her car seat, or does she want to do it herself. She hopped in and put her arms in for me - no fight!! Amazing.
An old-fashioned mom here…also a grandmother and great grandmother…..a teacher for 18 yrs…K-8, high school, and Soccer Coach of 20 yrs. all ages…..In-as-much as I respect and support SOME…of the Montessori….but…after rearing 3 kids with Absolutely NO problems….I do Feel that the Adult must be in Control and Receive the Respect…..first & foremost….this young lady is just starting out…I have quite a bit of real life experience under my belt….I started with my kids at 2 yrs old…..Doing their own Laundry, Cooking, Dressing themselves…..they LOVED pushing buttons on washer and dryer….Loved Cooking…and Loved laying out their ‘Clothes bodies’…for the next day..they also did their own Grocery shopping….with me on a Friday night….All grown, successful and have Decades-old marriages…I Taught…***Respect, Responsibility, and Resourcefulness…*** This gal mentions..Packing their Lunch boxes…NO‼️they Pack Their Own…From their section of choices in the Refrigerator and Cupboards…..NEVER HAD TEMPER TANTRUMS…..and ONLY Used a ‘Binky’ during teething..Not until 4 yrs. old…..Sadly…my friends who disagreed with my parenting choices….Ended up with TEEN-AGED PROBLEMS galore…….Parent to Be Respected and Show & Teach Respect….is #1….
Oh my goodness!! Hello there!! I’m so relieved I found you. I’m a mom of 3 boys. I got a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 4 month! I have to tell you that stress hits me hard lately and I ended up resorting up yelling or feeling like I need to hit them to understand. But I started watching your videos and Oh My Lord!! Thank you. You explain things in such a clear way and I’ve been practicing positive disciplining all week. I notice a HUGE difference in their behavior and the way they communicate with each other. My husband and I even use it on each other in front of them and my oldest literally dropped his jaw at it hahah. I am looking forward to more videos! ❤️
Thank you ❤️ so I know Montessori encourages independent sleep. I saw your video on that one. My 4 and 2 year old have become accustomed to me scratching their backs or singing them a song to sleep. With a 4 month baby, I don’t always have the ability to do that.. when I don’t do that, my 2 year old usually screams and beg to be scratched. I offered him a hug and talked to him about him putting himself to sleep. But he only stays calm for so long before yelling all over again and refusing to lay in bed. Is there anything you do to help and encourage independent sleep. Or maybe a suggestion on how to redirect his emotions and to be understanding?
My toddler sometimes refuses to go to sleep, too. They have such serious FOMO, haha! I find that my best strategy with her, as tough as it can be sometimes, is to be firm. Mean what you say. So, tell them you're going to scratch their back for just 30 seconds, give them a hug, and say good night. And then do it. A little crying may ensue the first couple of times, but eventually it will pass. With a small baby who doesn't understand the concept of waiting, you do what you have to do. And perhaps the next day, at a more neutral time (like during breakfast), you can chat with your two kiddos about how sometimes they will need to go to sleep without a back scratch or song, because baby is too little right now to understand about waiting. Maybe you can even role play it out with them during fun play time, and get them giggling about it, just to give them a chance to practice, too! :)
i’ve been having such a hard time. i was raised to spank and yell, i’m told by my parents (who my 2 year old son and i live with) and friends/family that it’s just how you’re supposed to discipline children. i don’t wanna do that to my son. i struggle with yelling, and more recently, spanking. though it has only happened honestly less than a handful of times, i end up crying every single time because i don’t want to do it and i try to have a talk with him about “why”. this is still not enough because i feel like i’m only introducing like, acceptance of abuse because we’re talking about it? does that make sense? anyway, i think this video is heaven sent. i’m praying that it’s not too late to start positive discipline. i’m hoping that it’s effective and that i can get my parents to use it with him too, as they care for him a lot while i’m working. i don’t want to hurt my son and his future. :( i pray that this works and it’s not too late.
My daughter will cry and I will ask her what’s wrong and she will say “I don’t know” all in sniffles and it’s happened a few times, I typically just hug her and let her know she doesn’t ever need to feel sad for no reason, mommy’s got you-but it’s still heartbreaking she does it
Me and my daughter call that the “weird feeling” and if we don’t know what’s wrong we acknowledge the weird feeling and allow her to cry. I always say we all need to cry sometimes because it makes us feel better (which is true) and she usually will calm down and talk to me. She has started acknowledging this feeling and when she’s older we can work on figuring out what those feelings are and what it means.emotions are valid and okay and we don’t always need to label things!
1. In regards to getting dressed, sometimes, it's better not to fight and let your child deal with the consequences of his or her choice. Does your child refuse to put on a coat? Fine. Explain that she's going to be cold outside, but don't fight it if she still refuses. Being cold on one outing isn't going to be the end of the world (and the real issue is going to be going between the car and whatever store(s) you're visiting anyway since most stores are kept warm enough and the coat shouldn't be worn in the carseats). 2. If your child is refusing to go to school/daycare and is putting up a fuss (especially if it is an ongoing issue or something that has happened suddenly with little to no warning), you may need to talk to your child's teacher. A sudden shift in behavior and a refusal to go to school/the sitter's house/daycare could be a sign of something else going on. It doesn't necessarily indicate a sign of abuse. There could be a child who is a little rough with the other students or maybe the special guest who came in with the wild animals scared your child. It could also be something as simple as evening routine being a blur of get home, eat dinner, bath, and bedtime; your child may simply need more quality time with you [so many kids are in school from 8am to 6pm; the only time at home is either getting ready for school or getting ready for bed]. 3. If your child's issue is also keeping the carseat straps in place, you may have to take more drastic measures, including getting a chest clip lock. You can always give your child a choice: locked or unlocked UNTIL/UNLESS s/he shows that it needs to be locked. "We can leave it unlocked, but if you move your chest clip, then I'm going to have to lock it." [I'm generally not for forcibly restraining a child, but I think the car is a different story. If your child is able to unbuckle or wiggle out of his or her carseat straps, the behavior needs to be addressed. This may include buying buckle/chest clip guards. The LAST thing you want is for your toddler to climb out of the carseat while you're speeding down the highway at 70MPH. 4. When I was younger, my dad had a rule that we hold onto his belt straps in the parking lot until we could touch the car. At that point, we were allowed to let go of him, but we had to keep one hand on the car. I think, even with holding hands, there can be a little bit of choice given. "You can hold onto my hand or you can hold onto my jacket, purse strap, etc." If there are two parents, then the choice between holding mommy's hand or daddy's hand can also help. Did you grab a shopping cart by the car? "Do you want to sit in the seat or hold onto the cart and walk?" Many children don't like to feel restrained. They'll gladly hold onto the end of your shirt, but they don't want YOU holding onto them. Teaching them to hold onto your clothing or the stroller/cart is especially good if you have multiple children and don't have enough hands to hold hands (which is why my dad had us hold his belt loops; he was pushing a shopping cart and couldn't always hold our hands). There may come a time when Mia is riding in the wagon, Kylie is walking, and you have your hands full with dog leashes and the wagon. Instead of actually holding your hand to cross the street, you may instruct Kylie to hold onto one of the leashes with you. 5. Going back to teeth brushing. Choices can also help here. Let your child pick out his/her toothbrush and toothpaste at the store. Maybe the toothbrush with a favorite character will work to motivate a child. Perhaps you should upgrade the entire family to Quip toothbrushes with different colored handles (they have child-sized brushheads that work on any of their handles). Seeing that their toothbrush is just like Mommy's and Daddy's may be effective.
Lissa, the tips you have helpful so much. I am struggling for half years now for child issue putting into car seat from home to daycare and day care to home daily. I am driving one hour each way to daycare and another one hour to home. I spend total 3 hours roughly a day in the car. Around 5 months ago( she was 1 year mark), after me off work and took her from day care to home. She rejected to get into car seat and cried so bad. I always telling her we are going home, daddy waiting for us or food waiting for us while walked into car. While took out socks pants and wipes her hands(she at snacks when picked up) singing or asked her hows her day give her some time to know we are going home around 10-15 mins. But the cried beginning when put her down, she pushed herself up rejected. Most of times, I have to pressed her down, buckle and then hold her said im sorry but we must to go home now. Sometimes she cried continuously whole way home. I kept creating some diy toys, soft toys, stickers books can provide and singing songs, play story audios, gave her favorite blanket, stuffed animals on the car to keep entertain her. Most of time help to stop her crying is, my hands and pacify, but this cannot offer so long during one hour driving. Now she is 16 M, the struggles its more serious, not just way home from daycare struggling but the way to daycare now in morning. I once talked to daycare several days ago if something happen during daycare but seems normal. One time, I forget her pacify and she cried entire road for 50 mins (stop and cried loud) I dont know what to do to help reduce the tears on her face every drive now. If you or anyone knows the tips that can help that I am willing to try them all. Thank you!
@@evonnehsu1216 Try putting on some nice music that you both like. Put nice music on every time you do that drive. She will start expecting the music, maybe she will relax with it soon.
I’ve been living Montessori for almost 20 years now. You’ve managed to explain discipline with such perfection. I wish I knew all of this when I was raising my 3. But I have learned along the way! I look forward to sharing this video every chance I get.
I am a mother to a 15 month old and a one month old. These techniques have helped me so much. They have also helped my husband and I, find common ground in parenting styles. With your videos I have completely changed my sons room, toy arrangements and started potty training at 15 months. Thank you so much for your insight and willingness to share information to other parents seeking to implement the Montessori method!
I worked in a classroom with 3 & 4 year old children. If there was fighting over an object, I would put it away and explain to the children that I would give it back when they had worked out a solution regarding how they were going to share. Inevitably i would see the children go off and have a little discussion and return to me and say "we worked it out"....there was no need for me to micro-manage, be the referee, be the solution provider
Thank you for these videos. I’m a yeller and feel guilty and frustrated and confused as to how to handle my four children 24/7 and I end up hurting them and nothing works. As tough as it is for me I’m going to begin implementing these strategies today and really try to test this out and change this trajectory. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
It can be helpful for you to make a dot point list of the steps you want to use in certain situations. Post it on the inside of a cupboard door. So when a situation occurs, take a deep breath, check over the dot points to remind yourself and then implement the process. Good luck!
Can you do a video on how to communicate parenting choices to caretakers and relatives to build consistency for a child? Do you write out rules and guidance? I find that sometimes grandparents resort back to their personal methods of discipline (which I am against). I want to encourage positive relationships for my child but this territory is new and very difficult. Perhaps you have a personal story of how you navigate this :)
Agree - I have a hard time having my spouse agree with my methods, let alone relatives. Please share suggestions on how to make other people understand positive discipline
you say "I gave birth to this child and this is how I am going to raise them. Respect me and my decision as a mother, or don't be in their life." My mother absolutely refused to allow my wife and I to parent, and after a lot of "conversations" it was clear she wouldn't budge one bit. So we moved outta state and that's that. Yes, it's hard without family support but not living in a toxic environment is much much better.
I'm sure SO many parents will find this to be such a resource! It's so nice that you broke it down by situation/behavior so that it is easy to reference again in the future when you need it!
I love how you explain everything and give examples, I get really frustrated when I see parents at the supermarket talking disrespectfully to their 3 year olds for wanting something they dont want to buy, when the whole supermarket is made for them and us to want to buy shit we dont need...
I have a 4year old kid and she is studying in a proper Montessori school here in India....I am learning so much from your videos as I still am not able to take the Montessori philosophy at home... Edit: Although with every video i feel i should have started early on...feel like at 4 years she has already grown up and formed her own opinions!!!
Just wanted to say the same..😃 I have 2years old twin boys..n things are working very well... Love from india Last Time I asked her something...n she replied soo nicely....it was a super booster for me😃
Was waiting for Kylie the entire.video esp after the thumbnail.. :) she is adorable Loved the content. "Being emotionally available and helping the child with their emotions" it amazes me how raising out kids the way we want to needs us to become better people. That's why I feel parenting is the most challenging and satisfying thing I've ever done.
Hi Ana! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t trying to be misleading at all, I promise! I just needed a thumbnail that got to the heart of the video content, and my only other alternative was a screenshot of my smiling face (which wasn’t quite what I had in mind, haha). I know a handful of folks asked for more actual examples with Kylie in it, but I don’t normally make a habit of whipping out my camera whenever she’s upset. I feel like that would be disrespectful of her privacy, and would also greatly undermine my ability to really and truly be there for her when she needs it most. The only reason I was able to include that one clip in the first video was because I just randomly happened to already be vlogging when it happened, and I could tell it wasn’t going to be a huge meltdown, so I left the camera rolling. I would almost feel like I’m exploiting my child if I were to purposefully try to set out capturing future misbehavior just for a video. So I sincerely hope that you (and anyone else who might have been thinking the same thing) can understand where I’m coming from on that, and that you still found some helpful tips anyway! 👍🏻 I was not aiming to disappoint anyone, only to further assist. 🥰 Thank you so much for watching!
Hey, it's totally fair that you should respect your child's privacy. Didn't mean it as misleading as much as #misskylie :) . And yes, found interesting tips and reinforcements to things we know but forget. Thank you fir the video.
Im only 22 and I dont plan on having babies any time soon but I found your videos and honestly it has made me so much more excited that there are other ways to parent.
Can you make a video on how to deal with other kids, that are "violent" and parents tolerating it? For example on the playground? Like some kid is hitting or kicking your kid
@@amnashoaib3382 asalamalaykum i can say i had to use the advice from the Montessori notebook girls. I had to physically remove a 4 year old from the trampoline when he was purposely bouncing my 1 year old on her first time on it. She ws so scared and i wad scared she was going to get shaken. I instantly held him as he was closer in reach than she was ( hes my cousin's child) he is biiig and i lifted him out and was saying i can't let you hurt her i am removing you from the trampoline i know its not nice as he was kicking his legs and whinning i said i am sorry its my job to make sure everyone is safe i have to seperate you. Then i picked up my baby girl stood up and kept her safe from him it didn't matter to me if he hit me but i kept saying im sorry i had to seperate you as it was dangerous. Since then i have learnt you cant trust a child to understand what is dangerous with other children under than them.
@@zamiaramirez1390 This can probably get ugly, to be honest. Children are simply regressing due to parental neglect, abuse, and permissive parenting. Yes, an aggressive form of self-defense is necessary nowadays. In many cases, the parents will just get ghetto about the situation. This mostly happens in lower class and lower middle class neighborhoods and schools though. I always conceal carry with my license because you simply never know anymore. My children will be taught about that as they get older.
my experience w/ whining, is when someone experiences being blocked by the other, not heard, not wanted, not able to be accommodated by the other, not being understood, And as you say, not knowing what to do if they are used to one thing, and now expected to switch gears to another, especially if that means relying not themselves, like in independent play, when they are used to being catered to and always accompanied by a parent to play with, stimulate or entertain them, which i find many parents feel that is their role. many parents feel their child needs to be excited, super happy all the time, which is overstimulating, not grounding and really leaves the child at a loss. Appreciate your thorough coverage of each subject you address, simple and straight forward, thank you~
I work In a regular daycare and not a Montessori one, but I still try to Incorporate Conscious Discipline methods. Giving children choices, logical reasoning, and consistent limits Is bread and butter to their development, mood, and self regulation
Ive been trying to implement your advice and lifestyle into mine and my daughters life. She is almost 3,5 years old. I notice that she notices a difference in the way I communicate with her, and that I am a bit ”softer” now, or less strict, and I feel that this gives her the option to express herself more, even though she has become more whiny or ”disobedient” in lack of a better word (Im from Sweden) and being a single parent I am trying my hardest to be patient with her when she is testing her boundaries in a completely different way now, and sometimes I really struggle with it. But we will get there eventually and the more I learn from your videos the better our lives will be. I am very happy that my daughter now feels that she can express her emotions more to me and showing me that trust, and it feels nice to be able to prove to her in a better way, that I care about her feelings. Thank you!
My heart thumps while watching and listening to your video. :-) I have studied the Montessori Philosophy and taught in a Montessori school for 14 long years. I am a believer of this philosophy and I know that if one understands, embraces, and implements this from the heart, it will mold a child's perspective about the world and himself. Your video brings back so much of memories and it gives me that nostalgic feeling of being in a Montessori environment school. :-) I'm a fan here!
Thank you so much for making videos like this. I grew up in a very toxic home and I never really learned how to deal with my own emotions. I am a new single mom of twin toddlers and your channel has helped me figure how to parent and raise them the gentle, kind, connected way I've wanted to. I am so grateful you started this channel and for every video you have posted! Thank you for all your hard work and insight!!
You are a miracle Ashley. Thank you so much. “Remain emotionally available and help them through their melt down...” is the hardest part for me - so good to remember and work on
I am not a parent, although I have done a fair share of child care in my day. Some of these things I naturally do because my own mother did them with me even though I am sure she was not aiming for a Montessori philosophy specifically. I find your videos fascinating and insightful. While Montessori full on may not be for me personally, I find many of these methods to ring true and right for how I would want to interact with a child! Thank you for sharing your insight!
I just started working in a Montessori pre-school and I was having a hard time understanding this way of teaching. I am glad that I found your page because now I understand. We are understaff and no one explained anything to me. English is my second lenguaje and by watching your videos I’m learning new vocabulary.
This was helpful. For the most part our daughter is a wonderful and respectful child. She's 4. She's articulate. She's out-going. She will tell people: "I like your shirt" or "Your hair color is pretty". But, she does give us struggles with putting clothes on and brushing her hair. Although, I think we are making progress with her hair. She received a hair brush with soft bristles, like those on a wet brush. It's travel-sized and there is a plushy pink and purple colored cat on it. We pretend that the cat is so hungry and wants to eat the rats in her hair. She loves this and it makes brushing her hair enjoyable for her. I Have to retrain myself. Now, if I can only get my Husband on-board. He's accustomed to yelling, because his Dad yelled.
God sent me to your video. Everything except for the hitting are things I'm struggling with my girls and I literally started crying in your video. Thank you for the advice. I had a rough childhood so parenting has been a challenge for me and I feel my 4yr old pulling away from me. I don't want her and I to end up like me and my mom so I knew something needed to be done but I didn't know what. Your video has sent me in the right direction and I hope I can do damage control by implementing these techniques. Pray for us. Thank you
I needed this video so much. Thank you for putting this out there. Parenting this way while our goal has been difficult since neither myself or my husband were raised with any kind of gentleness “I’ll give you something to cry about” was what I grew up with. So hearing this is the kind of guide I need to figure out a different way, a better way. Thank you again!!!
Hey gotta say I did this today after listening to your video last night and it worked!! each and every time. I've tried this before, but lately i've been a grumpy mama and so quick to yell, get frustrated and pass on my kids feelings and needs (not big needs, but those personal introspective needs). i needed this reminder and just a reset and your video did just that. all info in one spot!!! thank you and God Bless you and yours!!!
This is one of the best explanations of positive parenting I've found. I love that you are all for positive and respectful boundaries. That you dont have to let you child rule the house and do whatever they want, but they are also free to explore and learn how to live life. You're awesome!!!!
What I love about this is A) how controlled the response is in situations that can be really frustrating B) the space that the child has as an independent person
Im so glad I found your channel! I grew up in a household that normalized spanking and yelling as early as 1 years old. I don't want to repeat that pattern. Im so glad to have found a better way to parent ❤
Your videos are great! I feel like I’m a terrible mother 😢. But I already have done some things and I can see that they are effective. Thank you so much. Love from Chile 🇨🇱
The whole brushing teeth thing is 100% accurate. My 17 month old daughter absolutely LOVES bath time and LOVES to brush her teeth. I've been brushing her teeth and encouraging for her to do it herself since she started growing them. She now asks for her tooth brush and wants to brush her own teeth
I have a really independent 3 year old (she's independent since she was born pretty much). This tips are soooo handy. They need routine to feel they have control over their life. The option A or option B works for everything means you are getting your way but they feel they have some control / choice. It doesn't always work, we are only human, but most of the time it does work. Thanks for pulling all these tips together
Time outs work for me because I don’t use them as punishments, I use them as ‘we both need a cool off period’ kinda thing. My kids can read, or play, or do whatever they like, really, and we are both way calmer after.
I have just found your videos and I am definitely going to be trying this first thing in the morning. I am a single mum to a 2 and 4 year old and I have found myself constantly shouting at them, telling them no and then that results in myself and my boys being tense, overwhelmed and screaming and shouting, I don't want this for my boys, I want them to be able to know that no matter how they are feeling that their mummy is their safe place and not some grumpy, naggy monster. Thank you for these tips and I'm going to try my best to stick to this xx
Hi Ashely! Putting Alex in a car seat is been a struggle pretty much since he was born, it finally got better, to the point where he doesn't want to come out of the car seat :D! Parenting is not an easy job but I feel like it's the most rewarding job in the world. I love the examples you used in the video, you are doing an amazing job with the Montessori series ❤️!
Been watching your videos for the montessori part and i can honestly say that yours is like the resume of all the montessori books out there, and for that im veryyyy thankful 💞
You are a boss! Thank your for this direct narrative as I struggle as a nanny with parents who cater to their children without having reasonable expectations and boundaries which results in the parent burning out and the child exhibiting disrespectful behavior
Wow this video helped me so much! I can’t wait to show my husband this video. You’re incredible and deserve way more subscribers. You’re out here changing lives.
I like that this video covers a lot. My kid turns 2 in a few days and I've been getting really frustrated with him. This is a kind of video I will have to refer back to many times to learn. He fights about everything lately. He screams so loud that I can't even hear what I am saying to him
Watching this after seeing someone discipline their children with yelling, threatening, shaming, and name calling. It absolutely broke my heart. I won't be that parent. Thank you for these wonderful loving examples of positive discipline!
I dont have children but i feel like i’m raising the child in me that is still hurt by the lack of emotional availability of my parents. Love my parents tho and we are working through it. Thank you Hapa Family 💖
I’m going to be first time grandma, my daughter is 3 month now, I’m been watching your videos so I could do things differently when I become a grandma lol. Even though I did super good with my 2 daughter I could always learn and improve. Love your videos and those adorable daughter of yours 🥰🥰. Thank you
All your videos are so informative! love love love! It's so interesting how children notice our tones, and how that makes a difference. My two year old has way less tantrums, and stopped fighting nap time and bed time because of the way I phrase things. So amazing!
Thank you for making this! I've been feeling so overwhelmed. You first introduced me to Montessori two years ago and now I'm back again for more advice. I love the specific example and suggestions of what to say in certain scenarios
My son (age 4) wouldn’t get dressed , he had his underpants on, but that was it, & no matter what I said & did he would not get dressed. I tried to dress him but he just threw a massive tantrum. So I just picked him up ( as I was starting to lose my temper / patience ) & went off to the supermarket, put him in the trolley & did my shop. He was dead quite, never said anything & sat perfectly still in the trolley. He now gets dressed by himself as soon as he has made his bed. He has never thrown another tantrum about clothing & he makes sure that he is 100% dressed before he comes downstairs. I laugh about it now but at the time I was fuming 😂😂😂😂
i used to think that spanking was necessary. I always believed in not demanding them to share, and I always believed in treating them with respect to grow a healthy relationship. But my daughter was diagnosed with ODD. So I started researching better parenting techniques, I never knew any of this but it makes so much sense so I will be following these approaches. Thank you
I love this. I'm trying to discipline this way. Last week my 7 year old daughter spilled nail polish on her carpet and did not tell me. I found out by going in her room to get something. Well I put her on "punishment". I didn't yell or scream, but she was so upset she was just crying. Not screaming just crying. I hugged her and explained that I'm not upset that she spilled the nail polish bc we all make mistakes. I told her that I spilled nail polish before. But that she didn't tell me. Anyway I kept hugging her til she felt better. We went to our fave ice cream place. We got ice cream. The punishment was no sprinkles. She didn't care. Lol However, after watching this video I should've let her have sprinkles. I'm gonna keep learning.
I have a 3 year old boy in my in home daycare who has a lot of things we are working through together. I get sooo frustrated with him and I really needed this video today. 💜 I've never seen him have interest in doing anything for himself. Getting dressed is really hard, he wants to get dressed but he thinks he can't do it and won't try. Sometimes the way he looks at me when he asks for help breaks my heart because he truly believes he can't do it. He also talks back like crazy...it's one of my very big trigger buttons. He smashes materials into each other, be it toys, paint brushes, anything he's using, and has broken things before. I stay calm, at least on the outside, and tell him it's not safe or kind to break and smash toys....but he just says, "no," or "how?" no matter what I say. There have been days I have called my husband crying because this little boy needs me to be there for him calmly and it's so difficult when all I want to do is yell at him... it's so hard some days to remember that I am the only one in his life who responds to him and helps him instead of reacting because I know his parents yell and hit. I've seen it. They don't physically abuse in that area but it is their way of discipline and punishment, they're basically the same in his family. This little boy is such a challenge for me... I am still learning to regulate my own emotions and I know I can not expect him to do it if I am still learning myself.
Thank you so much for this video!! My husband and I grew up with parents that parented very differently then the way that we want to parent so we have been struggling to get the gentle parenting style down. We have tried finding books to help, but often find that the books lack good examples of how to properly inplement ways of handling certain behaviors with toddlers.
I don't know how your channel got in my recommended but I am so thankful!!!! Everything you are talking about in this video I can relate to happening to my son. He is a little harder to disciple but I swear when you started talking about how to react as a parent as far as discipline i was shocked because i have done a lot of these disciplinary exercises with my boy. I am so happy to have found what I already implement and I had no idea it had a name. I just thought I was teaching him the way I feel I would have wanted to learn as a child. I was spanked as a kid and it breaks my heart to think of doing it to my son. So I'm glad to have found this video and your channel and can feel like what I am teaching him is affective and others are doing it too. Thanks again.
Stumbled across you’re videos by accident- great accident! I’m struggling with my two year old twins at the moment, my boy twin doesn’t let me talk to other mums at the moment and am finding it hard to manage his Whining And Clinginess. He literally wouldn’t play on his own today, Once everyone left he was in his element. And went off to play 🤪Any more tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Really enjoying your videos thank you for taking time out of your day to record these xx
I don’t know who needs to see this but it’s never too late to learn a better way to work with your child. Just because you feel like you’ve messed up a lot up to this point doesn’t mean you can’t turn things around! Like she says, you and your child are a team, and it’s a wonderful thing when your child realizes they can rely on you for empathy and guidance.
😭 thank you
Needed this!!! 🥲
That’s such a great comment! Thank you
I needed to read this one. Single mom of 2 boys age 5 and 7. I am in over my head and yelling is not working clearly. I grew up with screaming and spankings and I do not do the spanking even though that is advice I do get from my parents. I know it did not work properly. Yelling, is hard to Crack though. I have no patience. I am trying the last 6 Mos to be more patient but I still slip a lot. I really want to learn to control my emotions so my children can learn. My 5 yr old has the worst temper snd says hurtful words out of hurt feelings. It breaks my heart because I know it's learned behavior. :( seeing this comment verified my attempts to continue this and never stop trying for better
Thank you for this because I'm making changes at ages 4&6 . I messed up a lot to this point but I love my kids and I want to break the cycle and be the best mom I can .
On taking turns, kid snatching toys
2:31 - 6:02
Brushing Teeth
6:03 - 8:22
Getting Dressed
8:23 - 10:40
Leaving the House
10:41 - 12:41
Getting into Carseat
12:43 - 13:46
Leaving the Park or the Zoo
13:47 - 15:27
Interrupting
15:28 -17:00
Transitions
17:00 - 18:30
Screen Time
18:31 - 20:11
Whining
20:11 - 21:29
Not Using Toys/Activities Appropriately
21:29 - 23:27
Getting up during Mealtime/Playing or Throwing Food
23:28 - 25:50
Public Tantrums
25:51 - 27:03
Holding Your Hand
27:04 - 27:54
Hitting, Pushing, Biting, etc and Making Amends
27:54 - 35:19
Helpful tips
35:19 - end
Rabia Khan thank you for posting ❤️
You are awesome! Thank you
Thank you!!
Wonderful!! Thank you!
doing the Lords work.
For kids old enough to understand, if they don't want me to hold their hand to cross the street, I ask them to hold my hand and watch for cars to keep me safe. Or you keep me safe and I'll keep you safe. Then they are happy to have the special job of keeping me safe and the fight stops.
Jennifer DeJong this is such a good idea! I have a very fast toddler that likes to take off at any moment, so I’ve been using a toddler backpack with her, but I’m still not 100% ok with the judgement and behind my back comments of “having your child on a leash.”
Thank you for this idea😘
Jennifer DeJong I wish this worked for us. Our daughter is a sprinter. 😣
Monica Crawford same! I tried this the other day and while it did work, DD still kept tugging on my arm to run with her instead. Think I’m going to keep using the toddler backpack as a happy medium for her independence and safety.
@@MDC21122MWC I wonder if this works for me because I have boys. My boys are protective of me already which is why I thought of it. I wonder what would motivate your daughter to willingly comply. Parenting is always interesting!
I'm having such a hard time with age 3.5 and I've been a mean, ragey, and grouchy mom today. Thanks for the ideas.
"They're learning what it means to be human and you are their guide on that journey." I love this very much!
I just wish my mum was given a chance to understand this and had more time to prepare us a bit more. I am nowwe learning yo be Human and be a mum and be a life partner and be a better daughter oml so many roles that i didn't really take on with a full understanding.
I saw a post on instagram and it said your child isn’t giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time!!
I LOVE THIS!!! 👏🏻
Both !
Love love love it!
I had seen that too and it shifted my parenting greatly!!
Do I have kids? Nope
Do I currently want kids? Nope
This is just Uber fascinating and I wanna learn enough that I’ll remember when I am ready
TheAssassiNyx same!
Same girl! Its so interesting!!
Same here. My husband and I will only start trying in four years or so. But yes, I want to educate myself now and run what I learn by my husband to make sure we will be on the same page, parenting-wise
pretty sure this is huge sign that you all will be great parents
Uber with a capital U? You mean über?
Unrelated but I have been using the Montessori method for my 14 year old (sister in law I'm raising). She was never a problem child, I just didn't know how to raise a child (I was only 20 and she was 10, but I have been caring for her since she was 4). We have the strongest relationship possible. We both have a mutual respect and love for each other. I make comments about what needs to be done and she offers to do it for me. She is a high honors student, but struggles with her own self expectations so we have been working on that for a few months now. When I'm around her I act the way I want her to act, it's honestly changed me as a person over time for the better.
Hi! Not sure if you already know this but the book "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk" was a huge help to me in learning how to express helpful compliments and build self esteem. I think there's also a teen version (How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk).
This!
You are an inspiration
I have no clue why this got recommended to me seeing as I'm in high school and don't want to have kids for quite a while yet, but I wanted to say that this sort of thing genuinely works when you're looking after younger kids! I was babysitting my (at the time) 4-year-old cousin a while ago, and she didn't want to come downstairs. I remembered something I had read about stuff like this and so I told her "I know you don't want to come down, but since you have to, would you like me to carry you down or do you want to walk down yourself?" No joke, she stood up and walked right down immediately. I couldn't believe it worked.
Basically what I'm trying to say here is that this is really useful for anyone, even if you're not a parent, so I'm glad you're making informative videos like this :)
Just discovered your channel last night and tried using the empathy steps during my 1yro sons tantrum. He really didnt want his diaper changed so I stopped, placed him in my lap and just hugged him and gave him kisses. I then got him to laugh and was able to change him easily. 💙 THANK YOU!
Pathetic
I’ve been struggling with how to balance technology and faith in our home, and ‘Raising Warriors: Preparing Your Children For a Godly Life’ provided some amazing insights that we’ve already started using
I watched all of your positive discipline videos when my daughter was 5-6 months old. if you hadnt made these, I wouldnt have ever found positive discipline. simply because you sat down & shared your knowledge, you have influenced & highly improved my life & my daughters life. thank you so much. she is 18 months today, & I am rewatching these to remind myself of everything with how much things have changed. I am very proud of how many of these things I automatically do without even thinking. your advice was hardwired into my brain & now its just autopilot for me. I can be really hard on myself on the tiny details of everything, so realizing that Ive successfully been practicing creating a positive & safe enviroment for my daughter this whole time, has made me feel a lot better. I cant thank you enough. I love your videos
Wonderful comment!
Anyone else watch this video several times over their years as a parent? I became a mom in 2018 and this channel as a whole is such a wonderful resource for what I consider the best way to navigate parenthood, even the hard stuff. Thank you for the work you do.
Yes!!!! :)
I also became a mom in 2018 & now with 3 toddlers I am struggling more and more with remaining calm and collective but I hope to continue watching these to help me regulate my parenting style bc I hate flipping on them 😭😭😢 I apologize but I’m also in therapy bc it’s so hard.
I do. I so much hope Ashley will do mor such videos these days ❤
OMG, Mia's little hand popping up every now and then is so cute!
this’ll be helpful for me when i have children
_watches this when i’m sixteen because i literally love kids so much_
- milky dreams I don’t even want kids but I’m still watching this 😂
Honestly. I'm HAPPY you are looking into parenting at 16! It's never too early to learn about things like this. The more you know when the time comes the better! You'll make a great mama one day 💖
Allysa Lawson yep haha !! i’m looking into it early because there’s no way in hell im gonna treat my kids the way my parents treated me
Those things are also handy when you go babysitting or in contact with other humans.
In eldery care i have some stubborn people but like learned here. Saying which emotions you see and acknowledging their emotions is very useful
SAME! Another channel I really like is the Mellow Mama, you should totally check it out!
Wow. Can we all please give this woman an award of some kind?
As for the holding hands, what always worked with my kids is saying, “we have to be safe crossing the street. There are cars that could hurt you. You can either hold my hand or I’ll have to carry you” 9 times out of 10, they’ll straighten up and choose holding hands because they like to be independent and not carried. There are those few times they’ll take me up on the carrying thing but it’s very rare 😂 another thing my mom always did with me was to say “how about you hold my hand with my ring?” I always thought it was so cool to hold her hand with the pretty wedding ring on it. Then when my sister started walking with us we’d end up fighting over who got the ring finger so she would wear another ring that was her moms on the other finger and we would take turns 😊
🤣🤣
That’s so sweet!
😍😍😍😍💞
That is such a sweet core memory. I always love hearing those types of little memories. Even tho you are a stranger, it's a piece of happiness that lived in the world, even just for a fleeting moment.
I'm 26 weeks pregnant with our first, and while I feel a little overwhelmed already, I'm very grateful for your clear directions and understanding. It's comforting when you say things like, "It's going to take time to implement" or realizing that not all kids will be easy. So thank you for a realistic, grounded approach! I was a difficult kid, and I don't want my child growing up feeling ashamed of or unable to express their feelings to me like I was with my parents. Definitely going to be watching your series.
It’s a good thing you are watching educational videos like this early on. Too many of us (me included) was only thinking about the pregnancy, and pregnancy videos almost all the way up to the end. Instead , or alongside that, I should have been watching more childcare videos, from newborn to infant and so on. About gas, burping, crying sounds and what they mean, breastfeeding, sleep training (after several months), having other people around in their lives early on so they don’t have extreme separation anxiety and so on. It was very difficult for me, I had no one to help me and was stressed out a lot. Still can’t sleep, I haven’t slept a full night’s rest since the beginning of the pregnancy.
It’s great you are forward thinking, I really should have been watching the newborn videos instead of just what to buy for babies, etc. so much information I did not know, and Honestly, this really should be taught (again) extensively to all students when they get to a certain age, as it would prepare a better society for the future if people are educating in life, and not just about prehistoric dinosaurs or the past presidents.
And teething
@@NextLevelMeNow My son is 16 months now, and I'm actually pregnant with our second, so it's a bit surreal to get a response to this out of the blue! I don't know how old your child is or where you are at in all of the postpartum craziness, but I know how tough the whole journey is. It's so hard and no one ever truly prepares us for it. And in some ways they can't because everyone's journey through pregnancy and postpartum is different. I felt like someone had reached into my brain and scrambled it after the birth. It was so hard to function and do the simplest things. I still don't feel quite right, but I'm starting to get better (just in time for baby number two 🙃).
Don't worry too much about what you should have done. We all have blind spots and we do the best that we can with what we have. I have my own regrets but in the end, my son is happy and healthy, and he's growing at his own pace. Even if that's not where the charts say he should be. And we're working through the things that frustrate us both (like tantrums).
I'm so sorry that you can't sleep. I struggled with insomnia as well, and it was the most awful thing. I did what I could to prioritize my health and mental wellness because I knew that would let me care for my baby the best. Which...is so much easier said than done. The Mom Guilt can be truly debilitating. And being sleep deprived is torture. I really hope you are able to sleep better soon. Know you're not alone in the struggle. 💛
In addition to giving your kiddo as heads up before you have to leave somewhere I set a timer on my phone. This way, they hear it themselves and know it’s time to go because the timer has gone off not because I’m telling them. This way we are on the same team and I can empathize with them. We say goodbye to all the piece of the playground (goodbye slide etc. ) like the Goodnight Moon book and finish by saying “till next time!” So she knows we can revisit another day :).
Thank you for this video amazing examples so helpful
logically, this makes so much sense to me but i was raised soooo far the opposite that i have such a hard time understand that people actually parent like this
Honestly me too. But I want to change. Ive noticed my son yelling and being super aggressive. Probably mimicking me when I become impatient. I dont want my son to be afraid of me like I was with my parents. I just want mutually respectful relationship
catrena sanders That’s totally understandable that you don’t want that, but there are other ways to get that mutual respect w out resorting to all this. Most moms that practice this come off really, “I’m better than you,” ish. And the kids aren’t allowed to have toys that are just fun, they barely have anything in their bedrooms, no bright colors... it’s just a lot of things I disagree w about it. Like for instance, there absolutely IS some behavior that is, “bad,” and the whole encouraging them not to share thing is just crazy. Also, my kid *will not* tell me when I can have a turn brushing his teeth or anything else. Lol
@Leonie JoHo thank you!!! See i believe if a child doesn't want to share their toy or whatever it is... they shouldn't be obligated to either. They should want to share sure, but to say that all kids need to share everything is unrealistic and i think actually teaches them they can't say no to things they don't like or want. If i asked to have your car... you say no... i am not then obligated by any means to still use or share YOUR car. As an adult i can say no to someone who wants money. Why can't a child say no to giving someone their book or toy? they should be able to have that control over their own personal things. which is also a reason why i think it's important for children to actually have their own personal items. (doesn't mean a lot of items, but something that is theirs.) I watched my sister have children and have only shared toys. none of her kids owned anything for themselves. Caused a lot of issues. Shared toys are great but when your kid owns nothing they 1. don't know responsibility for it and 2. don't know how to respect things that are not theirs in the future. It's all a fine line or not wanting your kid to be mean but also not wanting them to learn to get walked all over. IMO anyway.
Leonie JoHo I'm a preschool teacher, and sharing toys teaches kids how to be cooperative, patient, and basic social skills. A child in a room full of other kids can't play with the same toy all day if other kids would also like to play with said toy, because it's simply unfair to all the other kids. You teach them everyone gets a turn, you can play with the toy for x amount of minutes and then it's the next child's turn. If a child doesn't know how to share they'll definitely have a tough time in a school setting and probably life all together lol.
Preschool Essentials this video does not go against sharing. It encourages taking turns( which indirectly is sharing).
Day 1 of using your ideas and it’s going SO well! I’ve already avoided a few of our normal tantrums. First one was when she threw her face washer on the ground, stomping her feet saying “naughty!” and getting all huffy and puffy. I asked her calmly why it was naughty and she told me because it’s not wet anymore. I asked her if she’d like me to wet it again, she said “yes please Mum!”, picked it up and gave it to me. Then she thanked me over and over again, washed her face, handed it back to me saying “please wet it again Mum”.
Normally I would say “pick that up and hand to me, or you’re going to bed. Stomp your feet like that, and you’ll go to bed”.
I also used your car seat advise and asked her whether she’d like some help to get in her car seat, or does she want to do it herself. She hopped in and put her arms in for me - no fight!! Amazing.
Imbecile she controls you
An old-fashioned mom here…also a grandmother and great grandmother…..a teacher for 18 yrs…K-8, high school, and Soccer Coach of 20 yrs. all ages…..In-as-much as I respect and support SOME…of the Montessori….but…after rearing 3 kids with Absolutely NO problems….I do Feel that the Adult must be in Control and Receive the Respect…..first & foremost….this young lady is just starting out…I have quite a bit of real life experience under my belt….I started with my kids at 2 yrs old…..Doing their own Laundry, Cooking, Dressing themselves…..they LOVED pushing buttons on washer and dryer….Loved Cooking…and Loved laying out their ‘Clothes bodies’…for the next day..they also did their own Grocery shopping….with me on a Friday night….All grown, successful and have Decades-old marriages…I Taught…***Respect, Responsibility, and Resourcefulness…*** This gal mentions..Packing their Lunch boxes…NO‼️they Pack Their Own…From their section of choices in the Refrigerator and Cupboards…..NEVER HAD TEMPER TANTRUMS…..and ONLY Used a ‘Binky’ during teething..Not until 4 yrs. old…..Sadly…my friends who disagreed with my parenting choices….Ended up with TEEN-AGED PROBLEMS galore…….Parent to Be Respected and Show & Teach Respect….is #1….
Oh my goodness!! Hello there!! I’m so relieved I found you. I’m a mom of 3 boys. I got a 4 year old, 2 year old, and a 4 month! I have to tell you that stress hits me hard lately and I ended up resorting up yelling or feeling like I need to hit them to understand. But I started watching your videos and Oh My Lord!! Thank you. You explain things in such a clear way and I’ve been practicing positive disciplining all week. I notice a HUGE difference in their behavior and the way they communicate with each other. My husband and I even use it on each other in front of them and my oldest literally dropped his jaw at it hahah. I am looking forward to more videos! ❤️
Love that you’re modeling it with your husband for the kids! So powerful for them to see! 😊
Thank you ❤️ so I know Montessori encourages independent sleep. I saw your video on that one.
My 4 and 2 year old have become accustomed to me scratching their backs or singing them a song to sleep. With a 4 month baby, I don’t always have the ability to do that.. when I don’t do that, my 2 year old usually screams and beg to be scratched. I offered him a hug and talked to him about him putting himself to sleep. But he only stays calm for so long before yelling all over again and refusing to lay in bed. Is there anything you do to help and encourage independent sleep. Or maybe a suggestion on how to redirect his emotions and to be understanding?
My toddler sometimes refuses to go to sleep, too. They have such serious FOMO, haha! I find that my best strategy with her, as tough as it can be sometimes, is to be firm. Mean what you say. So, tell them you're going to scratch their back for just 30 seconds, give them a hug, and say good night. And then do it. A little crying may ensue the first couple of times, but eventually it will pass. With a small baby who doesn't understand the concept of waiting, you do what you have to do. And perhaps the next day, at a more neutral time (like during breakfast), you can chat with your two kiddos about how sometimes they will need to go to sleep without a back scratch or song, because baby is too little right now to understand about waiting. Maybe you can even role play it out with them during fun play time, and get them giggling about it, just to give them a chance to practice, too! :)
i’ve been having such a hard time. i was raised to spank and yell, i’m told by my parents (who my 2 year old son and i live with) and friends/family that it’s just how you’re supposed to discipline children. i don’t wanna do that to my son. i struggle with yelling, and more recently, spanking. though it has only happened honestly less than a handful of times, i end up crying every single time because i don’t want to do it and i try to have a talk with him about “why”. this is still not enough because i feel like i’m only introducing like, acceptance of abuse because we’re talking about it? does that make sense?
anyway, i think this video is heaven sent. i’m praying that it’s not too late to start positive discipline. i’m hoping that it’s effective and that i can get my parents to use it with him too, as they care for him a lot while i’m working.
i don’t want to hurt my son and his future. :( i pray that this works and it’s not too late.
My daughter will cry and I will ask her what’s wrong and she will say “I don’t know” all in sniffles and it’s happened a few times, I typically just hug her and let her know she doesn’t ever need to feel sad for no reason, mommy’s got you-but it’s still heartbreaking she does it
Me and my daughter call that the “weird feeling” and if we don’t know what’s wrong we acknowledge the weird feeling and allow her to cry. I always say we all need to cry sometimes because it makes us feel better (which is true) and she usually will calm down and talk to me. She has started acknowledging this feeling and when she’s older we can work on figuring out what those feelings are and what it means.emotions are valid and okay and we don’t always need to label things!
1. In regards to getting dressed, sometimes, it's better not to fight and let your child deal with the consequences of his or her choice. Does your child refuse to put on a coat? Fine. Explain that she's going to be cold outside, but don't fight it if she still refuses. Being cold on one outing isn't going to be the end of the world (and the real issue is going to be going between the car and whatever store(s) you're visiting anyway since most stores are kept warm enough and the coat shouldn't be worn in the carseats).
2. If your child is refusing to go to school/daycare and is putting up a fuss (especially if it is an ongoing issue or something that has happened suddenly with little to no warning), you may need to talk to your child's teacher. A sudden shift in behavior and a refusal to go to school/the sitter's house/daycare could be a sign of something else going on. It doesn't necessarily indicate a sign of abuse. There could be a child who is a little rough with the other students or maybe the special guest who came in with the wild animals scared your child. It could also be something as simple as evening routine being a blur of get home, eat dinner, bath, and bedtime; your child may simply need more quality time with you [so many kids are in school from 8am to 6pm; the only time at home is either getting ready for school or getting ready for bed].
3. If your child's issue is also keeping the carseat straps in place, you may have to take more drastic measures, including getting a chest clip lock. You can always give your child a choice: locked or unlocked UNTIL/UNLESS s/he shows that it needs to be locked. "We can leave it unlocked, but if you move your chest clip, then I'm going to have to lock it." [I'm generally not for forcibly restraining a child, but I think the car is a different story. If your child is able to unbuckle or wiggle out of his or her carseat straps, the behavior needs to be addressed. This may include buying buckle/chest clip guards. The LAST thing you want is for your toddler to climb out of the carseat while you're speeding down the highway at 70MPH.
4. When I was younger, my dad had a rule that we hold onto his belt straps in the parking lot until we could touch the car. At that point, we were allowed to let go of him, but we had to keep one hand on the car. I think, even with holding hands, there can be a little bit of choice given. "You can hold onto my hand or you can hold onto my jacket, purse strap, etc." If there are two parents, then the choice between holding mommy's hand or daddy's hand can also help. Did you grab a shopping cart by the car? "Do you want to sit in the seat or hold onto the cart and walk?" Many children don't like to feel restrained. They'll gladly hold onto the end of your shirt, but they don't want YOU holding onto them. Teaching them to hold onto your clothing or the stroller/cart is especially good if you have multiple children and don't have enough hands to hold hands (which is why my dad had us hold his belt loops; he was pushing a shopping cart and couldn't always hold our hands). There may come a time when Mia is riding in the wagon, Kylie is walking, and you have your hands full with dog leashes and the wagon. Instead of actually holding your hand to cross the street, you may instruct Kylie to hold onto one of the leashes with you.
5. Going back to teeth brushing. Choices can also help here. Let your child pick out his/her toothbrush and toothpaste at the store. Maybe the toothbrush with a favorite character will work to motivate a child. Perhaps you should upgrade the entire family to Quip toothbrushes with different colored handles (they have child-sized brushheads that work on any of their handles). Seeing that their toothbrush is just like Mommy's and Daddy's may be effective.
As always, thanks for your incredibly thoughtful tips! I love all these additions!! 🥰
Lissa, the tips you have helpful so much. I am struggling for half years now for child issue putting into car seat from home to daycare and day care to home daily. I am driving one hour each way to daycare and another one hour to home. I spend total 3 hours roughly a day in the car.
Around 5 months ago( she was 1 year mark), after me off work and took her from day care to home. She rejected to get into car seat and cried so bad. I always telling her we are going home, daddy waiting for us or food waiting for us while walked into car. While took out socks pants and wipes her hands(she at snacks when picked up) singing or asked her hows her day give her some time to know we are going home around 10-15 mins. But the cried beginning when put her down, she pushed herself up rejected. Most of times, I have to pressed her down, buckle and then hold her said im sorry but we must to go home now. Sometimes she cried continuously whole way home. I kept creating some diy toys, soft toys, stickers books can provide and singing songs, play story audios, gave her favorite blanket, stuffed animals on the car to keep entertain her. Most of time help to stop her crying is, my hands and pacify, but this cannot offer so long during one hour driving.
Now she is 16 M, the struggles its more serious, not just way home from daycare struggling but the way to daycare now in morning. I once talked to daycare several days ago if something happen during daycare but seems normal. One time, I forget her pacify and she cried entire road for 50 mins (stop and cried loud) I dont know what to do to help reduce the tears on her face every drive now. If you or anyone knows the tips that can help that I am willing to try them all. Thank you!
@@evonnehsu1216 Try putting on some nice music that you both like. Put nice music on every time you do that drive. She will start expecting the music, maybe she will relax with it soon.
I’ve been living Montessori for almost 20 years now. You’ve managed to explain discipline with such perfection. I wish I knew all of this when I was raising my 3. But I have learned along the way! I look forward to sharing this video every chance I get.
How are enough living it if you didn’t raise kids this way
I am a mother to a 15 month old and a one month old.
These techniques have helped me so much. They have also helped my husband and I, find common ground in parenting styles.
With your videos I have completely changed my sons room, toy arrangements and started potty training at 15 months.
Thank you so much for your insight and willingness to share information to other parents seeking to implement the Montessori method!
I love how you say "i know AND ..." and not "but"
I worked in a classroom with 3 & 4 year old children. If there was fighting over an object, I would put it away and explain to the children that I would give it back when they had worked out a solution regarding how they were going to share. Inevitably i would see the children go off and have a little discussion and return to me and say "we worked it out"....there was no need for me to micro-manage, be the referee, be the solution provider
I LOVE THIS!!!
My grandmother cut our ball in half because we kept fighting lmao.
@@mily87ful hahahhahahaha savage grandma
I'm currently pregnant and absoluetly LOVVVVVVVEEEEEEE THISSSS!!!!!!!!!!! CANNOT WAIT TO CONTINUE TO LEARN AND IMPLEMENT THIS!
Thank you for these videos. I’m a yeller and feel guilty and frustrated and confused as to how to handle my four children 24/7 and I end up hurting them and nothing works. As tough as it is for me I’m going to begin implementing these strategies today and really try to test this out and change this trajectory. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻
It can be helpful for you to make a dot point list of the steps you want to use in certain situations. Post it on the inside of a cupboard door. So when a situation occurs, take a deep breath, check over the dot points to remind yourself and then implement the process. Good luck!
This video continues to prove how much you fully love and respect the wholesome development of a child.
Can you do a video on how to communicate parenting choices to caretakers and relatives to build consistency for a child? Do you write out rules and guidance? I find that sometimes grandparents resort back to their personal methods of discipline (which I am against). I want to encourage positive relationships for my child but this territory is new and very difficult. Perhaps you have a personal story of how you navigate this :)
Agreed!!!!!!!! I need a video like this too!!!
Agree - I have a hard time having my spouse agree with my methods, let alone relatives. Please share suggestions on how to make other people understand positive discipline
I made them watch these videos lol but Id love a video on this too
you say "I gave birth to this child and this is how I am going to raise them. Respect me and my decision as a mother, or don't be in their life."
My mother absolutely refused to allow my wife and I to parent, and after a lot of "conversations" it was clear she wouldn't budge one bit. So we moved outta state and that's that. Yes, it's hard without family support but not living in a toxic environment is much much better.
I wish I had more thumbs... seriously want to fight grandma
I'm sure SO many parents will find this to be such a resource! It's so nice that you broke it down by situation/behavior so that it is easy to reference again in the future when you need it!
I love how you explain everything and give examples, I get really frustrated when I see parents at the supermarket talking disrespectfully to their 3 year olds for wanting something they dont want to buy, when the whole supermarket is made for them and us to want to buy shit we dont need...
I have a 4year old kid and she is studying in a proper Montessori school here in India....I am learning so much from your videos as I still am not able to take the Montessori philosophy at home...
Edit: Although with every video i feel i should have started early on...feel like at 4 years she has already grown up and formed her own opinions!!!
Just wanted to say the same..😃
I have 2years old twin boys..n things are working very well...
Love from india
Last Time I asked her something...n she replied soo nicely....it was a super booster for me😃
I sing a song that’s the right length of time and it really helps her keep brushing until the end…and not quitting too early.
I do the same thing! I'll sing the "A-B-Cs" four times (with some embellishment to add a second or two), once for each area in the mouth.
Was waiting for Kylie the entire.video esp after the thumbnail.. :) she is adorable
Loved the content. "Being emotionally available and helping the child with their emotions" it amazes me how raising out kids the way we want to needs us to become better people. That's why I feel parenting is the most challenging and satisfying thing I've ever done.
Hi Ana! I’m so sorry! I wasn’t trying to be misleading at all, I promise! I just needed a thumbnail that got to the heart of the video content, and my only other alternative was a screenshot of my smiling face (which wasn’t quite what I had in mind, haha). I know a handful of folks asked for more actual examples with Kylie in it, but I don’t normally make a habit of whipping out my camera whenever she’s upset. I feel like that would be disrespectful of her privacy, and would also greatly undermine my ability to really and truly be there for her when she needs it most. The only reason I was able to include that one clip in the first video was because I just randomly happened to already be vlogging when it happened, and I could tell it wasn’t going to be a huge meltdown, so I left the camera rolling. I would almost feel like I’m exploiting my child if I were to purposefully try to set out capturing future misbehavior just for a video. So I sincerely hope that you (and anyone else who might have been thinking the same thing) can understand where I’m coming from on that, and that you still found some helpful tips anyway! 👍🏻 I was not aiming to disappoint anyone, only to further assist. 🥰 Thank you so much for watching!
Hey, it's totally fair that you should respect your child's privacy. Didn't mean it as misleading as much as #misskylie :)
. And yes, found interesting tips and reinforcements to things we know but forget. Thank you fir the video.
Agreed. Becoming a parent is such a gift for so many reasons. I love this video. Thank you ☺️
“Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands.”
Agreed but as parents we also shape our children’s behaviours by how we intervene and respond
Im only 22 and I dont plan on having babies any time soon but I found your videos and honestly it has made me so much more excited that there are other ways to parent.
Can you make a video on how to deal with other kids, that are "violent" and parents tolerating it? For example on the playground? Like some kid is hitting or kicking your kid
Yes please make a video how to control other kids behaviour towards your children
You cant control other kids behavior you can only show your child how to react to it and when its ok to defend themselves/how to defend themselves
@@amnashoaib3382 asalamalaykum i can say i had to use the advice from the Montessori notebook girls. I had to physically remove a 4 year old from the trampoline when he was purposely bouncing my 1 year old on her first time on it. She ws so scared and i wad scared she was going to get shaken. I instantly held him as he was closer in reach than she was ( hes my cousin's child) he is biiig and i lifted him out and was saying i can't let you hurt her i am removing you from the trampoline i know its not nice as he was kicking his legs and whinning i said i am sorry its my job to make sure everyone is safe i have to seperate you. Then i picked up my baby girl stood up and kept her safe from him it didn't matter to me if he hit me but i kept saying im sorry i had to seperate you as it was dangerous. Since then i have learnt you cant trust a child to understand what is dangerous with other children under than them.
@@zamiaramirez1390 This can probably get ugly, to be honest. Children are simply regressing due to parental neglect, abuse, and permissive parenting. Yes, an aggressive form of self-defense is necessary nowadays. In many cases, the parents will just get ghetto about the situation. This mostly happens in lower class and lower middle class neighborhoods and schools though. I always conceal carry with my license because you simply never know anymore. My children will be taught about that as they get older.
my experience w/ whining, is when someone experiences being blocked by the other, not heard, not wanted, not able to be accommodated by the other, not being understood, And as you say, not knowing what to do if they are used to one thing, and now expected to switch gears to another, especially if that means relying not themselves, like in independent play, when they are used to being catered to and always accompanied by a parent to play with, stimulate or entertain them, which i find many parents feel that is their role. many parents feel their child needs to be excited, super happy all the time, which is overstimulating, not grounding and really leaves the child at a loss. Appreciate your thorough coverage of each subject you address, simple and straight forward, thank you~
Great tips and as a single dad to a 13 month old boy this will help us both out now and in the future. Thanks
I work In a regular daycare and not a Montessori one, but I still try to Incorporate Conscious Discipline methods. Giving children choices, logical reasoning, and consistent limits Is bread and butter to their development, mood, and self regulation
Ive been trying to implement your advice and lifestyle into mine and my daughters life. She is almost 3,5 years old. I notice that she notices a difference in the way I communicate with her, and that I am a bit ”softer” now, or less strict, and I feel that this gives her the option to express herself more, even though she has become more whiny or ”disobedient” in lack of a better word (Im from Sweden) and being a single parent I am trying my hardest to be patient with her when she is testing her boundaries in a completely different way now, and sometimes I really struggle with it.
But we will get there eventually and the more I learn from your videos the better our lives will be.
I am very happy that my daughter now feels that she can express her emotions more to me and showing me that trust, and it feels nice to be able to prove to her in a better way, that I care about her feelings.
Thank you!
My heart thumps while watching and listening to your video. :-) I have studied the Montessori Philosophy and taught in a Montessori school for 14 long years. I am a believer of this philosophy and I know that if one understands, embraces, and implements this from the heart, it will mold a child's perspective about the world and himself. Your video brings back so much of memories and it gives me that nostalgic feeling of being in a Montessori environment school. :-) I'm a fan here!
Thank you so much for making videos like this. I grew up in a very toxic home and I never really learned how to deal with my own emotions. I am a new single mom of twin toddlers and your channel has helped me figure how to parent and raise them the gentle, kind, connected way I've wanted to. I am so grateful you started this channel and for every video you have posted! Thank you for all your hard work and insight!!
You are a miracle Ashley. Thank you so much. “Remain emotionally available and help them through their melt down...” is the hardest part for me - so good to remember and work on
I am not a parent, although I have done a fair share of child care in my day. Some of these things I naturally do because my own mother did them with me even though I am sure she was not aiming for a Montessori philosophy specifically. I find your videos fascinating and insightful. While Montessori full on may not be for me personally, I find many of these methods to ring true and right for how I would want to interact with a child! Thank you for sharing your insight!
I just started working in a Montessori pre-school and I was having a hard time understanding this way of teaching. I am glad that I found your page because now I understand. We are understaff and no one explained anything to me. English is my second lenguaje and by watching your videos I’m learning new vocabulary.
This was helpful. For the most part our daughter is a wonderful and respectful child. She's 4. She's articulate. She's out-going. She will tell people: "I like your shirt" or "Your hair color is pretty". But, she does give us struggles with putting clothes on and brushing her hair. Although, I think we are making progress with her hair. She received a hair brush with soft bristles, like those on a wet brush. It's travel-sized and there is a plushy pink and purple colored cat on it. We pretend that the cat is so hungry and wants to eat the rats in her hair. She loves this and it makes brushing her hair enjoyable for her. I Have to retrain myself. Now, if I can only get my Husband on-board. He's accustomed to yelling, because his Dad yelled.
God sent me to your video. Everything except for the hitting are things I'm struggling with my girls and I literally started crying in your video. Thank you for the advice. I had a rough childhood so parenting has been a challenge for me and I feel my 4yr old pulling away from me. I don't want her and I to end up like me and my mom so I knew something needed to be done but I didn't know what. Your video has sent me in the right direction and I hope I can do damage control by implementing these techniques. Pray for us. Thank you
I cannot over emphasize how helpful your videos are! Thank you so much!
I love that you give suggestions in cases where a child absolutely refuses to adhere to the rules and boundaries… thank you!
Great video! Taking turns instead of forcing kids to share - that's a tip I was waiting for and I'm going to stick to this in the future.
This is real disaplin! Disaplining is not "beat up your kid"
Theres a difference between disaplin and abuse! Thank you for this video!
I needed this video so much. Thank you for putting this out there. Parenting this way while our goal has been difficult since neither myself or my husband were raised with any kind of gentleness
“I’ll give you something to cry about” was what I grew up with. So hearing this is the kind of guide I need to figure out a different way, a better way. Thank you again!!!
Hey gotta say I did this today after listening to your video last night and it worked!! each and every time. I've tried this before, but lately i've been a grumpy mama and so quick to yell, get frustrated and pass on my kids feelings and needs (not big needs, but those personal introspective needs). i needed this reminder and just a reset and your video did just that. all info in one spot!!! thank you and God Bless you and yours!!!
This is one of the best explanations of positive parenting I've found. I love that you are all for positive and respectful boundaries. That you dont have to let you child rule the house and do whatever they want, but they are also free to explore and learn how to live life. You're awesome!!!!
What I love about this is
A) how controlled the response is in situations that can be really frustrating
B) the space that the child has as an independent person
Omg! That’s awesome! I hope that God gives me wisdom and patience to remember all these tips during a tantrum. 😅
Im so glad I found your channel! I grew up in a household that normalized spanking and yelling as early as 1 years old. I don't want to repeat that pattern. Im so glad to have found a better way to parent ❤
Your videos are great! I feel like I’m a terrible mother 😢. But I already have done some things and I can see that they are effective. Thank you so much. Love from Chile 🇨🇱
I'm sure you're doing great, it's never too late to start!
The fact you feel bad means you’re not a terrible mother.
You can make slow changes and implement new things so you lose that feeling.
The whole brushing teeth thing is 100% accurate. My 17 month old daughter absolutely LOVES bath time and LOVES to brush her teeth. I've been brushing her teeth and encouraging for her to do it herself since she started growing them. She now asks for her tooth brush and wants to brush her own teeth
What she is talking about sounds like the book called, “No-Drama Discipline”. Great book, I encourage every parent/teacher to read it.
I have a really independent 3 year old (she's independent since she was born pretty much). This tips are soooo handy. They need routine to feel they have control over their life. The option A or option B works for everything means you are getting your way but they feel they have some control / choice. It doesn't always work, we are only human, but most of the time it does work. Thanks for pulling all these tips together
Time outs work for me because I don’t use them as punishments, I use them as ‘we both need a cool off period’ kinda thing. My kids can read, or play, or do whatever they like, really, and we are both way calmer after.
I have just found your videos and I am definitely going to be trying this first thing in the morning. I am a single mum to a 2 and 4 year old and I have found myself constantly shouting at them, telling them no and then that results in myself and my boys being tense, overwhelmed and screaming and shouting, I don't want this for my boys, I want them to be able to know that no matter how they are feeling that their mummy is their safe place and not some grumpy, naggy monster. Thank you for these tips and I'm going to try my best to stick to this xx
Hi Ashely! Putting Alex in a car seat is been a struggle pretty much since he was born, it finally got better, to the point where he doesn't want to come out of the car seat :D! Parenting is not an easy job but I feel like it's the most rewarding job in the world. I love the examples you used in the video, you are doing an amazing job with the Montessori series ❤️!
I’m a mother of two years old son and , your videos really make different in our life every day .God bless your family 💕
Been watching your videos for the montessori part and i can honestly say that yours is like the resume of all the montessori books out there, and for that im veryyyy thankful 💞
You are a boss! Thank your for this direct narrative as I struggle as a nanny with parents who cater to their children without having reasonable expectations and boundaries which results in the parent burning out and the child exhibiting disrespectful behavior
I'm 21 minutes in and I can't take my eyes off of you Ash! so Informative! 🙌🏼🙏🏽
Just put this to test (my kids were fighting over a toy). And it worked! Thank you so much!
Wow this video helped me so much! I can’t wait to show my husband this video.
You’re incredible and deserve way more subscribers. You’re out here changing lives.
I like that this video covers a lot. My kid turns 2 in a few days and I've been getting really frustrated with him. This is a kind of video I will have to refer back to many times to learn. He fights about everything lately. He screams so loud that I can't even hear what I am saying to him
Watching this after seeing someone discipline their children with yelling, threatening, shaming, and name calling. It absolutely broke my heart. I won't be that parent. Thank you for these wonderful loving examples of positive discipline!
I dont have children but i feel like i’m raising the child in me that is still hurt by the lack of emotional availability of my parents. Love my parents tho and we are working through it. Thank you Hapa Family 💖
So helpful, we are adopting from foster care and need to take a positive parenting approach- this has been a great practical example!
>îiiip
I’m going to be first time grandma, my daughter is 3 month now, I’m been watching your videos so I could do things differently when I become a grandma lol. Even though I did super good with my 2 daughter I could always learn and improve. Love your videos and those adorable daughter of yours 🥰🥰. Thank you
All your videos are so informative! love love love! It's so interesting how children notice our tones, and how that makes a difference. My two year old has way less tantrums, and stopped fighting nap time and bed time because of the way I phrase things. So amazing!
Thank you for making this! I've been feeling so overwhelmed. You first introduced me to Montessori two years ago and now I'm back again for more advice. I love the specific example and suggestions of what to say in certain scenarios
My son (age 4) wouldn’t get dressed , he had his underpants on, but that was it, & no matter what I said & did he would not get dressed. I tried to dress him but he just threw a massive tantrum. So I just picked him up ( as I was starting to lose my temper / patience ) & went off to the supermarket, put him in the trolley & did my shop. He was dead quite, never said anything & sat perfectly still in the trolley. He now gets dressed by himself as soon as he has made his bed. He has never thrown another tantrum about clothing & he makes sure that he is 100% dressed before he comes downstairs. I laugh about it now but at the time I was fuming 😂😂😂😂
Natalie Hill love this one!! Omg! 😂
Natural consequences 😂
Yeah someone would call social services if you did that in my country
@@opalisthebestever3405 She was not endangering the child in any way.
@@opalisthebestever3405 and literally nothing would happen.
i used to think that spanking was necessary. I always believed in not demanding them to share, and I always believed in treating them with respect to grow a healthy relationship. But my daughter was diagnosed with ODD. So I started researching better parenting techniques, I never knew any of this but it makes so much sense so I will be following these approaches. Thank you
Your videos are rich in content and really informative. Thank you!
I love this. I'm trying to discipline this way. Last week my 7 year old daughter spilled nail polish on her carpet and did not tell me. I found out by going in her room to get something. Well I put her on "punishment". I didn't yell or scream, but she was so upset she was just crying. Not screaming just crying. I hugged her and explained that I'm not upset that she spilled the nail polish bc we all make mistakes. I told her that I spilled nail polish before. But that she didn't tell me. Anyway I kept hugging her til she felt better. We went to our fave ice cream place. We got ice cream. The punishment was no sprinkles. She didn't care. Lol However, after watching this video I should've let her have sprinkles. I'm gonna keep learning.
JASSY this just melted my heart... now that’s positive parenting!
Excellent content. Love your style and I’m learning lots! Thank you for all the videos!
I have a 3 year old boy in my in home daycare who has a lot of things we are working through together. I get sooo frustrated with him and I really needed this video today. 💜 I've never seen him have interest in doing anything for himself. Getting dressed is really hard, he wants to get dressed but he thinks he can't do it and won't try. Sometimes the way he looks at me when he asks for help breaks my heart because he truly believes he can't do it. He also talks back like crazy...it's one of my very big trigger buttons. He smashes materials into each other, be it toys, paint brushes, anything he's using, and has broken things before. I stay calm, at least on the outside, and tell him it's not safe or kind to break and smash toys....but he just says, "no," or "how?" no matter what I say. There have been days I have called my husband crying because this little boy needs me to be there for him calmly and it's so difficult when all I want to do is yell at him... it's so hard some days to remember that I am the only one in his life who responds to him and helps him instead of reacting because I know his parents yell and hit. I've seen it. They don't physically abuse in that area but it is their way of discipline and punishment, they're basically the same in his family. This little boy is such a challenge for me... I am still learning to regulate my own emotions and I know I can not expect him to do it if I am still learning myself.
Thank you so much for this video!! My husband and I grew up with parents that parented very differently then the way that we want to parent so we have been struggling to get the gentle parenting style down. We have tried finding books to help, but often find that the books lack good examples of how to properly inplement ways of handling certain behaviors with toddlers.
I could listen to this over and over. Simple and firm. Confident parenting is my favorite!
Can you give me some advice on how to train a toodler to sleep by his own, my baby is 15 months old now.
Thank you
I started watching you during quarantine and here I am now, 16, with a parenting playlist
Soooo much great content/ value. I’m watching this for the second time in a week. I’m subscribed.
You’re so sweet, thank you! 😊
So am I lol
You are such a blessing to the world and of course to your family!
okay, ive fallen down a hapa family rabbit hole
I love how these things are kinda what I've already done without knowing about montessori. I'm going to upkeep and implement more of these with my son
Thanks for this! I really need to learn not to control everything.
I don't know how your channel got in my recommended but I am so thankful!!!! Everything you are talking about in this video I can relate to happening to my son. He is a little harder to disciple but I swear when you started talking about how to react as a parent as far as discipline i was shocked because i have done a lot of these disciplinary exercises with my boy. I am so happy to have found what I already implement and I had no idea it had a name. I just thought I was teaching him the way I feel I would have wanted to learn as a child. I was spanked as a kid and it breaks my heart to think of doing it to my son. So I'm glad to have found this video and your channel and can feel like what I am teaching him is affective and others are doing it too. Thanks again.
Stumbled across you’re videos by accident- great accident! I’m struggling with my two year old twins at the moment, my boy twin doesn’t let me talk to other mums at the moment and am finding it hard to manage his Whining And Clinginess. He literally wouldn’t play on his own today, Once everyone left he was in his element. And went off to play 🤪Any more tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Really enjoying your videos thank you for taking time out of your day to record these xx