I bought my car several years ago now, and the dealership was trying really hard to sell me on tinted windows. I told the representative that I Did Not under Any Circumstances want to have those windows tinted. I had to explain to the guy about how tinted windows makes it so I can't see if someone is in my car before I approach it and how that's a massive safety concern for me as a woman. The poor boy could honestly not comprehend.
@@chrisycochran2916 A few years ago I went on a hike with my son, who’s in his early 30’s. It was lovely, and I was wishing I could come back alone to hike some morning, but I was internally struggling with the “safety checklist.” So I told him I’d really like to come back the following week, but I wasn’t sure if I could because I didn’t have anyone to come with. He asked, Why not? and, honestly, looked a little confused when I asked him if he thought it’d be safe. I’ll never forget the look on his face, and I realized he’d never had to think about that before.
Trucks are better for women...no back seat and they're higher up. I'm a woman, have grown up in the country seen a fair amount of bears, definitely will choose one over a strange man.
👨 vs 🐙? "What if you were grocery shopping and an octopus was staring at you, or one brushed up against you?" The octopus questions are cracking me UP 😂
The fact that “man vs bear” is a dilemma and “woman vs bear” is a no-brainer. Yes, it is a gender-issue-unlike many other topics and issues that are just being made out to be when they’re really not. But more and more men are healing. 👍 I have hope.
Depends on your physical ability. With my disabilities, I’d still pick the bear over a random woman, same as I don’t feel safe alone with any nurse in the hospital. At least I know 100% that the bear isn’t a Jolly Jane.
Your comment frustrates me because this video is all about opening men's eyes to the ways women experience the world, how gender plays a bigger part in it than you recognise - either because you don't have to, or at times because you choose not to listen or believe.
Love how empathetic this guy is. It must be really tough raising a daughter in a world where so many threats to her are always trying to sneak under your radar. Respect to the dads who stay vigilant
As far as nightmares: just speaking for myself as a survivor, if I'm triggered, I might have a nightmare about my previous abuse maybe 3 or 4 times a week for about 6 months. What triggers that? Seeing a man get angry in public. That's all it takes.
Yep. Been cycling those nightmares bc this time of year is when many traumatic things happened. And having the sibling I am no contact with me in them.
And we never know when a trigger will happen. I thought I was over it but 30 yrs later I walked into my friend's livingroom and the tv was on (as it always is) and a scene in the movie did it. I dont remember anything until I don't know how much later my friend was trying to coax me out of where I was hiding in the closet. I don't remember passing him or going into the closet.
@@daniellamcgee4251in addition I am so lucky to have access to multiple resources and even when that is the case treatment can still be years long for a lot of us. Often people expect that when you get help it should sort you out within like six months to one year. Especially if they have had it themselves and were able to reprocess what happened to them in a comparatively short timeframe. I also know people who therapy actively made things worse for them and who had to find ways to cope on their own. Everyone's responses to trauma and their circumstances are so different. If you are suffering with these symptoms please don't judge yourself. You sustained a psychological injury that is very hard to recover from and there's no shame in that ❤️
When he said he'd probably start the car BEFORE he closed the door, my eyebrows went up to my hairline, and then you said, omg. It's so real. Sometimes, I feel enraged.
Guys really think he's being "strong armed" into trying to understand his wife's point of view about what women have to live with? What's wrong with them that they're so broken they can't compute that it's healthy to try to see the other side of things?
Lol I missunderstood your comment for a moment and was about to reply to you with all this shit about "This aint strongarming what are you talking about, it's metaphors and a useful way to put yourself in someone else's shoes and blah blah blah blah" then I understood and laughed lol
@Gale-the-Prophet I can see how it can be taken out of context. Easy to superimpose (You) in the front to make it seem like the watcher in general rather than a smattering of some of the watchers
I'm terrified even supposedly being "protected" by the police. I had a neighbor threaten to kick in my door if I didn't take their call. The police told me they couldn't do anything about it because nothing had happened yet! I slept with a cast iron skillet on my couch by the door instead of in my bed for the next few months until I could move.
Sometimes the cops are the perps. I tell my daughter to pull over in a busy area. I was once pulled over for an out light. Not 5 minutes later not even out of town I was pulled over by a state officer. I explained that I had just been pulled over. He knew I had. He proceeded to yell and kept me at the side of the road for 25 minutes. It was 1:00am and I had just got off of work. We were out of town and there was nothing around.
I have PTSD and it's actually almost making me cry seeing a man truly consider what life would be like if he couldn't just do whatever he wants all the time. The "I would be mad" comment right before talking about jogging at night and going to the beach whenever. He's living my dream life.
I look in and check the back seat and hatch area BEFORE I get in the car. I also look to see if anyone is under my car as I'm approaching it. I do check the back of the car once I'm in as well, but I never get in the car before looking in to see if anyone's in the car.
Much of the problem for women is that the good guys don't stand up to the bad guys -- probably because things are OK for them, and they don't want to rock the boat, or are afraid to. Not much will change for women until men change.
That's part of the reason why I am seriously thinking about taking my ex back. He's a habitual liar. And an alcoholic. And a cheat. But he would protect me in a heartbeat. And he looks like he would. At least I would be safe with him around. Plus I have an 85 pound puppy who will probably become about a 100 pound dog. No one wants to mess with 6'3" man or a 100 pound dog.
Screw looking around the vehicle, I park under LIGHTS and close by the entrance of where I'm going so it's easy to see the car anyway. My door unlocks but none of the other doors do. An installed camera for front and rear helps as well. Make it an unfriendly environment for a stranger...
@ I try to not either but I travel for my job & work with car dealerships so I’m sometimes still out when it gets dark out so I’ve had to be very careful. I park where the hotel lobby can see me lol
Always check the vicinity of your car. The side of the car you can't see, for example. If I'm in a grocery store parking lot I approached the car from the direction I can see the most visibility from. I have circled my vehicle to avoid approaching a blind spot. And you have to check inside your vehicle before you get in.
I think some men get defensive when women are calling out men’s behavior towards women and women’s fears about men and don’t want it to be discussed openly. I think a lot of men like to dismiss how women feel as if it’s not real or a true fear. Women do appreciate men who are understanding of the way women have to live always in this type of fear daily.
If you haven't read this book, "Invisible Women, Data Bias in a World Design for Men" by Caroline Criado Perez. I think you find it right up your alley.!!! Keep up the great discussions.
This is a good one from Dave Chappelle comedian describing how women feel vulnerable. He describes a man leaving his business I'm putting cash till in his bag maybe 50,000 dollars and having to take public transportation back to another location maybe home walking the streets on the bus in the train always watching every moment all the eyes looking at you looking over your shoulder anticipating someone to jump out at you until you finally get to home or someplace safe at the end of that story he says that's exactly how a woman feels every day because they have the goods that many men may want. This it's not how he said it exactly but I always remember this one
@@M_SCNo, it's not AT ALL! The only thing wrong with the analogy? No woman feels completely SAFE just because she's reached home! So yep, women often don't ever feel 100% safe in their own homes. Not even when they live with men, because those men are the ones most likely to harm them and/or their children. Children! Whole additional issue! Not only do you need to be thinking of your own safety but your children's safety also, including with their actual family members. There is NEVER a time, or a person, that can be trusted implicitly.
Watching this while living in Greece I started thinking that even though I'm a short woman who'd be an easy target, I'm not scared often. I never check my car or lock its doors when I'm inside. My daughter is 18 and lives in Athens since this summer and goes out alone at night and I'm not really worried about her safety, even though she moves around with public transport. So I started wondering, how come that this country with low gun ownership is so muchly safer for women than the USA where everyone can have a gun?
Gabor Mate and his book "When The Body Says No", proposes a link between multiple sclerosis and the way people and especially women are socialized; for example, to be more agreeable, kind, not being able to express anger etc.
I feel that several times a day. Especially when I lock the doors at night and I think to myself, if someone wanted to get in, they wouldn't really have a problem. Worse, considering how our house looks compared to our more affluent neighbors, they must be intent on something OTHER than mere robbery.
I look around my entire vehicle as I’m approaching it. I glance in the back as soon as the inside lights come on when I open the door BEFORE I get in the car so I can’t be garroted from behind or trapped in the car with someone. Once I’m in the doors lock. And I call my fiancé if I have to pump gas after dark so he knows where I am and when to expect me home. He’s a police officer so I always keep him informed if I’m not comfortable while I’m out and about and when to expect me home
Non-USA person, one common thing you do when living alone is to put a male name on the doorbell I also feel uncomfortable straightening my back if I am not wearing something loose and covering cause fixing my posture pushes up the girls and make them the focus
It's like this everywhere. There are entire safety checklists that girls learn, that apparently boys never even hear about, until they are grown and their girlfriends or wives tell them about the constant state of terror we are forced to live in.
Panic attacks? Not really, I’m sure it is for some. For most women it’s hyper vigilance and awareness of every movement and every noise like you’re a Neolithic man huddling around fire and thinking the Rustling in the bush is a lion when it’s really just a squirrel. It’s a hard wired survival method that’s socially turned on hyperdrive in girls and women. Hard to prevent harm to yourself if you’re always panic. I’m always hyper aware and vigilant, but I get that panic omg intrusive thought or exaggeration of something I heard/saw every couple of weeks.
Bear. Animals want food. If it is too much trouble they go away. Especially if they are large animals that need a lot of calories and like bears, have easier ways to get it. (large solitary cats are different, they pick prey based on size, they get their food by stalking and pouncing.)
Same get in the car routine (except I check the back as I approach and again after I'm in - but before buckling up)! You asking these questions really summarizes the everyday extra stuff that women have to spend mental and physical energy doing, just to have some peace of mind and be in fight mode. 😳
I'm from Chicago too. I think because I had a job where I had to travel from the Southside to Downtown in the middle of the night toughened me up but still I was on high alert as I made the journey to work on the bus. Once I got a car, I did everything she suggested but I loved taking drives in the middle of the night because there was very little traffic however, I would travel specific routes, the busiest streets to lake shore drive and then enjoy the drive there. As a woman, I carried a blade, I was always looking around me and I never wore headphones at night. I would wear them during the day but kept 1 ear uncovered and I always made a point to stay close to blended crowds and away from lone guys.
Please keep making videos. These are so informative, even to me, as a woman. Also, I hope you’ll cover standard chair design, like those metal ones in clinic waiting rooms. Those are immensely uncomfortable because my knees are always lower than my hips, so the weight ratio is way off, but it’s not for my husband. I will usually try to just sit on the floor if I’m waiting for a long period of time in those waiting rooms. Also, now I just want to know where his fear of octopi come from (edit: ok got the answer)
With the car check the back seat before you even get in. If they're already in there you'll only be allowed to start the car and then you're done. Always check the back seat first
I get this point, but there are also men who are scared of men. If a potentially threatening person is way stronger than you, then you will be nervous. I don't usually feel nervous when I am out alone, even when I travel. I'm sure it's worse in many places. I definitely try to not show my fear.
I live in Australia. Our fear is not as high. I know that I can go fo a walk on my own at night along the beach front. I gave gone at 10pm in summer. I have barely felt fearful. Except when a drunk man has come towards me. But in my country most people are decent, and although we are known for being discresptful, that is more to do with questioning everything and everyone. We are more raised to be respectful of our fellow humans.
Counterpoint: Your methheads are also jacked up on ‘roids; a dangerous combination. Your government still mistreats the Indigenous population. And you all produced the most horrifying and vile child predator in modern history, Peter Scully. The man who did things that made even other child predators sick. Which leads to the young Australian men in prison for hosting his material online. Your experience is valid but it is false to say your country doesn’t have the same violent rot that can be found across this globe. Or that you all are raised to respect life. Be safe.
I appreciate him. Just a note, as someone who has been through trauma, I prefer people do not assume I experienced certain emotions because it can be very difficult for me if those don't match what I experienced (numbness, dissociation is pretty common for me) as it makes me feel that I'm going against expectations which has been dangerous for me in the past so my conditioned response is to feel like I'm wrong for not feeling what was implied as expected.
I hope most father’s actually THINK about this. Its not joke. What women go through. Where are the Good knowledgeable men who know what all this does to their own daughter??. And why in God’s name vote into office someone who is the worst possible chioice for women’s safety. Understand these societies dangers to women. Men just don’t ever want to think about this. Because the fear we feel is do to them!
Wtf? The backseat is the third check?? Dude, I look around the whole area then I look in the backseat before I open the door. I throw all my shit in and shut the door and lock it. Then I get settled and turn the car on. I think the not locking the door or not doing it right away is just stupidity on men’s part. That’s how people get car jacked. You see it on security cameras all the time. People just open their unlocked door and get in. I think it’s important for safety for men to lock their car doors right away too. Also, how could he more scared of an octopus than a bear or tiger??
Is the bear just in the woods at the same time, or presented with the daughter and expected to act as babysitter/guardian? How old and how smart is the daughter?
Another thing we have to worry about is the fact that, no matter how strong we as women actually are, we will always be assumed weak by the vast majority of men. You could be a body builder and scrawny men would still think they could take you. About the only thing you can do to get the point across, that you are not one to mess with, is open carry (which comes along with it's own risks)
And if they think you're a target, they will go for it. And if they go for it... well, you're hurt either way. That marks you, either way. Being attacked, even unsuccessfully, is a horrible experience.
Lol no. I live in a big city with a subway. Started taking the subway to school when I was 13. By the time I was 14 I had learned to walk differently, because the first year i got followed so many times. Body language tells predators you would fight them and are not worth the trouble.
This is a little amped up for the conversation. I’m aware of my surroundings all the time, I’m from Detroit which is a terrible place. But this is a bit over the top.
If the statistics for crimes are the same between men and women, and we also can admit that women go through all this extra precaution and stay home late at night, does the fact that the numbers are still roughly equal not seem somewhat concerning?
the strangest part of all this is mag thinks that women would be more protected, not having any rights. not that it would make it easier for someone to victimize them
you asked the wrong question, leaving a kid in the forest with a bear isn't an option because 1. she should decide for herself (that's the whole point) whom she feels most comfy with and 2. A recently fed bear is different than a starving one and 3. a kid doesn't know how to behave around a bear so that he/she can avoid being mauled so it's not a fair comparison or question in regards to a kid
Do you understand the purpose of this comparison? Do you understand that is about his FEELINGS about danger? And hers? Not all the animal world facts that you can think of?
@@eric2500 if she doesn't want people to comment on her video she can either turn the comments off or not put a video out there in the first place. I am less interested in what you think she is trying to say and more about my take on this, which I am able to freely express my opinion on
Your take is kinda self defeating and old though. Also that's not the hypothetical or it's point either, and even then it doesn't address the question brought up by the hypothetical. Why would someone be more comfortable choosing the bear? Especially when there is no thought or dilemma when it comes down to choosing a random woman or a random bear. 1. If a kid couldn't be left alone they could certainly get lost and end up alone and in a vulnerable position so the outcome is the same 2. The fact you feel a need to specify whether the bear is hungry or not is very telling in my opinion. That's recognizing inherently for the bear to be a threat to a person there are necessary conditions like it being hungry or it's offering being in danger that don't have to be present for a human being or just a random man to be a threat. 3. A kid doesn't inherently know how to avoid being abused or assaulted in general. The point isn't what the kid knows though, its what you as an adult responsible for them knows in order for you to be comfortable with them being in the presence of something else without you. And what we all know is that just looking at cold hard numbers and facts, a random man is likely to be more dangerous than a random bear. If the man v bear comparison doesn't apply to you than like they said at the very end the "not all men" based stuff isn't really necessary it just ends up being needlessly defensive at best.
@@PlusUltraMan 1. because the bear cant rape you. 2. A random woman isnt the same as a random man. Anyone would choose the woman over a man instead of the bear. 3. In case there arent bears where you live (which is obvious) yes it is very relevant weather the bear has eaten or not recently because if he had then the chances of attacking you are practically none, unless its a bear mom with cubs. The same cant be said for a man, its not like if he raped/killed another woman recently he would spare you because hes sated (unlike the bear). Your missing the point (on purpose I suspect), the entire point of comparing the bear to the man is that men take what they want no matter who gets hurt as long as they can get away with it while the bear only kills to protect itself or its cubs or for food because he needs food and he is a predator by nature (and humans are prey). 4. The fact that you can say that abuse can be avoided is very telling. Its unsurprising that you felt the need to comment this nonsense. Abuse is never avoidable because the only one at fault is the abuser for abusing, not the victims fault for not dodging the attack fast or well enough.
I bought my car several years ago now, and the dealership was trying really hard to sell me on tinted windows. I told the representative that I Did Not under Any Circumstances want to have those windows tinted. I had to explain to the guy about how tinted windows makes it so I can't see if someone is in my car before I approach it and how that's a massive safety concern for me as a woman. The poor boy could honestly not comprehend.
@@chrisycochran2916 A few years ago I went on a hike with my son, who’s in his early 30’s. It was lovely, and I was wishing I could come back alone to hike some morning, but I was internally struggling with the “safety checklist.” So I told him I’d really like to come back the following week, but I wasn’t sure if I could because I didn’t have anyone to come with. He asked, Why not? and, honestly, looked a little confused when I asked him if he thought it’d be safe. I’ll never forget the look on his face, and I realized he’d never had to think about that before.
You need to check the back seat before you get in the car!!
I do this - anything looks off around the car? High alert…
And seldom for bears.
True, check the back seat Before you get in the car!!
I was just going to post that!! Thank you 👍
Trucks are better for women...no back seat and they're higher up. I'm a woman, have grown up in the country seen a fair amount of bears, definitely will choose one over a strange man.
Former Alaskan here.
Bears be wildin'
Men are just dangerous.
With the bear there is some predictable behavior. An unknown dude??? Nah
Bear, any day of the week, and im an urbanista.
But a lot of male doctors don't listen to women or think that women are over exaggerating. Not taking women seriously so diagnosis is too late.
I was SA by a doctor at 18 makes it hard to get the care I need now at 62
@@nancyferguson6011I'm so sorry. 😔
It took me 20 years to get diagnosed. I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia.
👨 vs 🐙?
"What if you were grocery shopping and an octopus was staring at you, or one brushed up against you?"
The octopus questions are cracking me UP 😂
The fact that “man vs bear” is a dilemma and “woman vs bear” is a no-brainer. Yes, it is a gender-issue-unlike many other topics and issues that are just being made out to be when they’re really not. But more and more men are healing. 👍 I have hope.
Depends on your physical ability. With my disabilities, I’d still pick the bear over a random woman, same as I don’t feel safe alone with any nurse in the hospital. At least I know 100% that the bear isn’t a Jolly Jane.
Your comment frustrates me because this video is all about opening men's eyes to the ways women experience the world, how gender plays a bigger part in it than you recognise - either because you don't have to, or at times because you choose not to listen or believe.
Love how empathetic this guy is. It must be really tough raising a daughter in a world where so many threats to her are always trying to sneak under your radar. Respect to the dads who stay vigilant
As far as nightmares: just speaking for myself as a survivor, if I'm triggered, I might have a nightmare about my previous abuse maybe 3 or 4 times a week for about 6 months.
What triggers that? Seeing a man get angry in public. That's all it takes.
Yep. Been cycling those nightmares bc this time of year is when many traumatic things happened. And having the sibling I am no contact with me in them.
I'm with you. Or maybe just a look, or a vibe.
And we never know when a trigger will happen. I thought I was over it but 30 yrs later I walked into my friend's livingroom and the tv was on (as it always is) and a scene in the movie did it. I dont remember anything until I don't know how much later my friend was trying to coax me out of where I was hiding in the closet. I don't remember passing him or going into the closet.
P.T,S.D. is always important to address, but the resources aren't always available.
@@daniellamcgee4251in addition I am so lucky to have access to multiple resources and even when that is the case treatment can still be years long for a lot of us.
Often people expect that when you get help it should sort you out within like six months to one year. Especially if they have had it themselves and were able to reprocess what happened to them in a comparatively short timeframe.
I also know people who therapy actively made things worse for them and who had to find ways to cope on their own.
Everyone's responses to trauma and their circumstances are so different. If you are suffering with these symptoms please don't judge yourself. You sustained a psychological injury that is very hard to recover from and there's no shame in that ❤️
When he said he'd probably start the car BEFORE he closed the door, my eyebrows went up to my hairline, and then you said, omg.
It's so real. Sometimes, I feel enraged.
Guys really think he's being "strong armed" into trying to understand his wife's point of view about what women have to live with? What's wrong with them that they're so broken they can't compute that it's healthy to try to see the other side of things?
Lol I missunderstood your comment for a moment and was about to reply to you with all this shit about "This aint strongarming what are you talking about, it's metaphors and a useful way to put yourself in someone else's shoes and blah blah blah blah" then I understood and laughed lol
@Gale-the-Prophet I can see how it can be taken out of context. Easy to superimpose (You) in the front to make it seem like the watcher in general rather than a smattering of some of the watchers
I scan the car before I ever get in. So the approach is calculated to see the interior before I ever climb in.
What a lovely, kind man..
I'm terrified even supposedly being "protected" by the police. I had a neighbor threaten to kick in my door if I didn't take their call. The police told me they couldn't do anything about it because nothing had happened yet! I slept with a cast iron skillet on my couch by the door instead of in my bed for the next few months until I could move.
That’s very outdated policing. It’s not like that everywhere, you need to do some research
@@M_SC You need to get off your high horse and shut up. Their experience and its validity is not contingent on your belief in it.
@@M_SCSounds like you are misinformed or live in a special area where the laws are different than Veronica and myself.
Sometimes the cops are the perps. I tell my daughter to pull over in a busy area. I was once pulled over for an out light. Not 5 minutes later not even out of town I was pulled over by a state officer. I explained that I had just been pulled over. He knew I had. He proceeded to yell and kept me at the side of the road for 25 minutes. It was 1:00am and I had just got off of work. We were out of town and there was nothing around.
Making threats *is* a crime.
I have PTSD and it's actually almost making me cry seeing a man truly consider what life would be like if he couldn't just do whatever he wants all the time. The "I would be mad" comment right before talking about jogging at night and going to the beach whenever. He's living my dream life.
You two are so wholesome! This is such a positive way to discuss problems in society.
I look in and check the back seat and hatch area BEFORE I get in the car. I also look to see if anyone is under my car as I'm approaching it. I do check the back of the car once I'm in as well, but I never get in the car before looking in to see if anyone's in the car.
Well if you're going to be afraid of an animal, being afraid of a very smart animal is probably valid
I'd take the bear any day.
Much of the problem for women is that the good guys don't stand up to the bad guys -- probably because things are OK for them, and they don't want to rock the boat, or are afraid to. Not much will change for women until men change.
That's part of the reason why I am seriously thinking about taking my ex back. He's a habitual liar. And an alcoholic. And a cheat. But he would protect me in a heartbeat. And he looks like he would. At least I would be safe with him around. Plus I have an 85 pound puppy who will probably become about a 100 pound dog. No one wants to mess with 6'3" man or a 100 pound dog.
Funny how damned near every woman has had nonconsentual sex but no men know any rapists.
Hahahah.
@@anyascelticcreationsthat sucks. You deserve better.
The octopus took him to the next level.
I love your content, your husbands reactions are so interesting to watch.
I wish more men cared enough to listen and learn. None I know will .❤❤
Thank you! Thank you for engaging as well. It’s always great to hear the content is good!
Screw looking around the vehicle, I park under LIGHTS and close by the entrance of where I'm going so it's easy to see the car anyway. My door unlocks but none of the other doors do. An installed camera for front and rear helps as well. Make it an unfriendly environment for a stranger...
A big dog for me, and pointy sticks. But I don't go out at night anymore.
@ I try to not either but I travel for my job & work with car dealerships so I’m sometimes still out when it gets dark out so I’ve had to be very careful. I park where the hotel lobby can see me lol
@@novampires223Same here with the big dog. I used to carry a bo staff too.
Idk how I didn't know that so many males don't know that women's cars get tagged by males 😢 smh
Always check the vicinity of your car. The side of the car you can't see, for example. If I'm in a grocery store parking lot I approached the car from the direction I can see the most visibility from. I have circled my vehicle to avoid approaching a blind spot. And you have to check inside your vehicle before you get in.
I think some men get defensive when women are calling out men’s behavior towards women and women’s fears about men and don’t want it to be discussed openly. I think a lot of men like to dismiss how women feel as if it’s not real or a true fear. Women do appreciate men who are understanding of the way women have to live always in this type of fear daily.
I have never met one..
If you haven't read this book, "Invisible Women, Data Bias in a World Design for Men" by Caroline Criado Perez.
I think you find it right up your alley.!!! Keep up the great discussions.
Literally in my Amazon cart!
Whenever I have to get on a bus and fully extend my arm to grab the loop hold, I think of this. I'm 5'5".
This channel is gold.
Wow thank you!
This was actually a productive conversation on this subject. Thank you
And if a van is parked beside you, you turn around and go back inside the store.
If he is being honestly honest this is so refreshing
This is a good one from Dave Chappelle comedian describing how women feel vulnerable. He describes a man leaving his business I'm putting cash till in his bag maybe 50,000 dollars and having to take public transportation back to another location maybe home walking the streets on the bus in the train always watching every moment all the eyes looking at you looking over your shoulder anticipating someone to jump out at you until you finally get to home or someplace safe at the end of that story he says that's exactly how a woman feels every day because they have the goods that many men may want. This it's not how he said it exactly but I always remember this one
Well that’s a bit extreme
@@M_SCNo, it's not AT ALL! The only thing wrong with the analogy? No woman feels completely SAFE just because she's reached home! So yep, women often don't ever feel 100% safe in their own homes. Not even when they live with men, because those men are the ones most likely to harm them and/or their children. Children! Whole additional issue! Not only do you need to be thinking of your own safety but your children's safety also, including with their actual family members. There is NEVER a time, or a person, that can be trusted implicitly.
That's a good bit. His conclusion is " they gave me a pussy" 😂😮.
@@M_SCmust be nice to be you .
Watching this while living in Greece I started thinking that even though I'm a short woman who'd be an easy target, I'm not scared often. I never check my car or lock its doors when I'm inside. My daughter is 18 and lives in Athens since this summer and goes out alone at night and I'm not really worried about her safety, even though she moves around with public transport.
So I started wondering, how come that this country with low gun ownership is so muchly safer for women than the USA where everyone can have a gun?
It’s partly because everyone can have a gun
It's not guns we're concerned about.
Men don't need guns to overpower women.
It's not just the US, and it's not just about guns. Your daughter is lucky to live in one of the safest cities in Europe.
I have zero fear of bears
Precisely. With the bear you know you are A) in probable danger and B) have entered the food chain.
@renel7303 and a bear is NOT going to lie to me or get me pregnant
I really like how he talked about the prolonged anticipation of violence. It adds a whole new layer
Gabor Mate and his book "When The Body Says No", proposes a link between multiple sclerosis and the way people and especially women are socialized; for example, to be more agreeable, kind, not being able to express anger etc.
So it's literally about growing a backbone
I feel that several times a day. Especially when I lock the doors at night and I think to myself, if someone wanted to get in, they wouldn't really have a problem. Worse, considering how our house looks compared to our more affluent neighbors, they must be intent on something OTHER than mere robbery.
I look around my entire vehicle as I’m approaching it. I glance in the back as soon as the inside lights come on when I open the door BEFORE I get in the car so I can’t be garroted from behind or trapped in the car with someone. Once I’m in the doors lock.
And I call my fiancé if I have to pump gas after dark so he knows where I am and when to expect me home. He’s a police officer so I always keep him informed if I’m not comfortable while I’m out and about and when to expect me home
Look around the car, making sure tires are ok and check the backseat BEFORE you get in your car.
Checking the backseat will only keep you safer IF you were not in a hurry to esape someone outside the car chasing you in.
I don't know about other countries but it seems like every day in the USA for every women is a survival contest with constant panic attacks.
It’s that way in other countries as well.
Women are told we are responsible for our own safety and are at fault if we are attacked.
Non-USA person, one common thing you do when living alone is to put a male name on the doorbell
I also feel uncomfortable straightening my back if I am not wearing something loose and covering cause fixing my posture pushes up the girls and make them the focus
It's like this everywhere. There are entire safety checklists that girls learn, that apparently boys never even hear about, until they are grown and their girlfriends or wives tell them about the constant state of terror we are forced to live in.
@@bdott1538while also being told don't be to masculine men are protectors, etc....
Panic attacks? Not really, I’m sure it is for some. For most women it’s hyper vigilance and awareness of every movement and every noise like you’re a Neolithic man huddling around fire and thinking the Rustling in the bush is a lion when it’s really just a squirrel. It’s a hard wired survival method that’s socially turned on hyperdrive in girls and women. Hard to prevent harm to yourself if you’re always panic. I’m always hyper aware and vigilant, but I get that panic omg intrusive thought or exaggeration of something I heard/saw every couple of weeks.
Bear. Animals want food. If it is too much trouble they go away. Especially if they are large animals that need a lot of calories and like bears, have easier ways to get it. (large solitary cats are different, they pick prey based on size, they get their food by stalking and pouncing.)
Unless you're a brown bear.
Seriously, in the big scheme of meat unarmed humans are easy targets.
Every day. Sometimes multiple times a day.
Same get in the car routine (except I check the back as I approach and again after I'm in - but before buckling up)! You asking these questions really summarizes the everyday extra stuff that women have to spend mental and physical energy doing, just to have some peace of mind and be in fight mode. 😳
Omg he's so great. Thank you for being so understanding and speaking the truth.
3:25 WHAT IS THIS LIFE EXPERIENCE???? 😫😫 PEACEFUL SOUNDING
An octopus on the loose? 😅
I wish I'll always remember this comment 😁
*Common sense and decency - keep him, Kator88!*
I'm from Chicago too. I think because I had a job where I had to travel from the Southside to Downtown in the middle of the night toughened me up but still I was on high alert as I made the journey to work on the bus. Once I got a car, I did everything she suggested but I loved taking drives in the middle of the night because there was very little traffic however, I would travel specific routes, the busiest streets to lake shore drive and then enjoy the drive there. As a woman, I carried a blade, I was always looking around me and I never wore headphones at night. I would wear them during the day but kept 1 ear uncovered and I always made a point to stay close to blended crowds and away from lone guys.
How do we get used to that cortisol shot? It’s a part of our lives, for as long as we can remember - as though we’re goldfish and it’s water.
It makes us fat, so we have to starve ourselves all the time too.
And we live jn perpetual anxiety
There is most likely NOT an octopus outside your door right now, at least THAT'S GOOD!!😃🐙🐙🦑🦑
Please keep making videos. These are so informative, even to me, as a woman. Also, I hope you’ll cover standard chair design, like those metal ones in clinic waiting rooms. Those are immensely uncomfortable because my knees are always lower than my hips, so the weight ratio is way off, but it’s not for my husband. I will usually try to just sit on the floor if I’m waiting for a long period of time in those waiting rooms.
Also, now I just want to know where his fear of octopi come from (edit: ok got the answer)
I would say chip is more scarier than a man, but notice how closely related they are
Cortisol soup. Ive dealt with ocd anxiety but yea that sucks
With the car check the back seat before you even get in. If they're already in there you'll only be allowed to start the car and then you're done. Always check the back seat first
I get this point, but there are also men who are scared of men. If a potentially threatening person is way stronger than you, then you will be nervous. I don't usually feel nervous when I am out alone, even when I travel. I'm sure it's worse in many places. I definitely try to not show my fear.
I live in Australia. Our fear is not as high. I know that I can go fo a walk on my own at night along the beach front. I gave gone at 10pm in summer. I have barely felt fearful. Except when a drunk man has come towards me. But in my country most people are decent, and although we are known for being discresptful, that is more to do with questioning everything and everyone. We are more raised to be respectful of our fellow humans.
Counterpoint: Your methheads are also jacked up on ‘roids; a dangerous combination. Your government still mistreats the Indigenous population. And you all produced the most horrifying and vile child predator in modern history, Peter Scully. The man who did things that made even other child predators sick. Which leads to the young Australian men in prison for hosting his material online.
Your experience is valid but it is false to say your country doesn’t have the same violent rot that can be found across this globe. Or that you all are raised to respect life. Be safe.
I appreciate him. Just a note, as someone who has been through trauma, I prefer people do not assume I experienced certain emotions because it can be very difficult for me if those don't match what I experienced (numbness, dissociation is pretty common for me) as it makes me feel that I'm going against expectations which has been dangerous for me in the past so my conditioned response is to feel like I'm wrong for not feeling what was implied as expected.
I hope most father’s actually THINK about this. Its not joke. What women go through. Where are the Good knowledgeable men who know what all this does to their own daughter??. And why in God’s name vote into office someone who is the worst possible chioice for women’s safety. Understand these societies dangers to women. Men just don’t ever want to think about this. Because the fear we feel is do to them!
Wtf? The backseat is the third check?? Dude, I look around the whole area then I look in the backseat before I open the door. I throw all my shit in and shut the door and lock it. Then I get settled and turn the car on. I think the not locking the door or not doing it right away is just stupidity on men’s part. That’s how people get car jacked. You see it on security cameras all the time. People just open their unlocked door and get in. I think it’s important for safety for men to lock their car doors right away too. Also, how could he more scared of an octopus than a bear or tiger??
Hippo, moose, wild boar…
@@catxtrallways
I’ll take hippo. I know how to handle those. And worst it’ll do is kill me.
Honey badger
To be fair an octopus wouldn’t do great in my backyard…but man or bear…bear every time.
Important video, but please don't publicly show images, no matter how brief, of any children. They are not old enough to give consent.
He is so cute.
Great video.
Is the bear just in the woods at the same time, or presented with the daughter and expected to act as babysitter/guardian? How old and how smart is the daughter?
Seems like kidnapping has become crazy prevalent
If an octopus could travel on land.
Shared
Another thing we have to worry about is the fact that, no matter how strong we as women actually are, we will always be assumed weak by the vast majority of men. You could be a body builder and scrawny men would still think they could take you. About the only thing you can do to get the point across, that you are not one to mess with, is open carry (which comes along with it's own risks)
And if they think you're a target, they will go for it.
And if they go for it... well, you're hurt either way. That marks you, either way. Being attacked, even unsuccessfully, is a horrible experience.
Lol no. I live in a big city with a subway. Started taking the subway to school when I was 13. By the time I was 14 I had learned to walk differently, because the first year i got followed so many times. Body language tells predators you would fight them and are not worth the trouble.
This is a little amped up for the conversation. I’m aware of my surroundings all the time, I’m from Detroit which is a terrible place. But this is a bit over the top.
Seven out of eight women chose the bear.
9:26 palpitations at the thought
If the statistics for crimes are the same between men and women, and we also can admit that women go through all this extra precaution and stay home late at night, does the fact that the numbers are still roughly equal not seem somewhat concerning?
The statistic of crime are not "roughly" equal tho.
I want a husband like him
the strangest part of all this is mag thinks that women would be more protected, not having any rights. not that it would make it easier for someone to victimize them
Every 4 minutes a women is deleted some where in the world
Ask a man if he would like to be the new guy in prison and put in general population .
People know so little about bears.
you asked the wrong question, leaving a kid in the forest with a bear isn't an option because 1. she should decide for herself (that's the whole point) whom she feels most comfy with and 2. A recently fed bear is different than a starving one and 3. a kid doesn't know how to behave around a bear so that he/she can avoid being mauled so it's not a fair comparison or question in regards to a kid
Do you understand the purpose of this comparison? Do you understand that is about his FEELINGS about danger? And hers? Not all the animal world facts that you can think of?
@@eric2500 if she doesn't want people to comment on her video she can either turn the comments off or not put a video out there in the first place. I am less interested in what you think she is trying to say and more about my take on this, which I am able to freely express my opinion on
Your take is kinda self defeating and old though. Also that's not the hypothetical or it's point either, and even then it doesn't address the question brought up by the hypothetical. Why would someone be more comfortable choosing the bear? Especially when there is no thought or dilemma when it comes down to choosing a random woman or a random bear.
1. If a kid couldn't be left alone they could certainly get lost and end up alone and in a vulnerable position so the outcome is the same 2. The fact you feel a need to specify whether the bear is hungry or not is very telling in my opinion. That's recognizing inherently for the bear to be a threat to a person there are necessary conditions like it being hungry or it's offering being in danger that don't have to be present for a human being or just a random man to be a threat. 3. A kid doesn't inherently know how to avoid being abused or assaulted in general. The point isn't what the kid knows though, its what you as an adult responsible for them knows in order for you to be comfortable with them being in the presence of something else without you.
And what we all know is that just looking at cold hard numbers and facts, a random man is likely to be more dangerous than a random bear. If the man v bear comparison doesn't apply to you than like they said at the very end the "not all men" based stuff isn't really necessary it just ends up being needlessly defensive at best.
@@PlusUltraMan 1. because the bear cant rape you. 2. A random woman isnt the same as a random man. Anyone would choose the woman over a man instead of the bear. 3. In case there arent bears where you live (which is obvious) yes it is very relevant weather the bear has eaten or not recently because if he had then the chances of attacking you are practically none, unless its a bear mom with cubs. The same cant be said for a man, its not like if he raped/killed another woman recently he would spare you because hes sated (unlike the bear). Your missing the point (on purpose I suspect), the entire point of comparing the bear to the man is that men take what they want no matter who gets hurt as long as they can get away with it while the bear only kills to protect itself or its cubs or for food because he needs food and he is a predator by nature (and humans are prey). 4. The fact that you can say that abuse can be avoided is very telling. Its unsurprising that you felt the need to comment this nonsense. Abuse is never avoidable because the only one at fault is the abuser for abusing, not the victims fault for not dodging the attack fast or well enough.
… I was a kid once. A kid that spent a lot of time in wilderness. I would have been fine with a bear. A strange man? No idea.