HEARTBREAKING | If I blink in real life, time passes in game! | Before Your Eyes (Full Playthrough)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 เม.ย. 2021
  • Is this the saddest game ever? My full walkthrough of "Before Your Eyes" An experimental indie game you play with a webcam and by blinking (or trying not to) Find me & all my content here ➤ madmorph.com
    🟠 I read books to help you sleep: / downtosleep
    🔴 Instagram: / madmorph
    🟣 Twitch: / madmorph
    🟡 TikTok: / madmorph
    This is my video with commentary, review, reaction and discussion of this game. With a guided walkthrough showing all dialogue options. This is recorded EXCLUSIVELY for TH-cam on PC with OBS, edited by me in Adobe Premiere and shared here ONLY.
    All of this content belongs to me, I record, narrate and edit all my own videos. This video features critique, analysis, first time reaction to and discussion of the game: Before Your Eyes.
    "Before Your Eyes" full playthrough and guided walkthrough, start to finish.
    Game: Before Your Eyes
    All footage recorded by me, this is me playing the game, narrating, commentating and reacting.
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ความคิดเห็น • 3.6K

  • @MadMorph
    @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +841

    Play along with me and try not to blink! Like & Subscribe for more games ya never heard of!
    ✅I read books to help you sleep here: th-cam.com/users/downtosleep
    ✅Watch this next: Raising an orphan (VERY SAD) - th-cam.com/video/zl19B8UXuZI/w-d-xo.html

    • @cometischeese
      @cometischeese 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      one of my eyelashes fell off 😭

    • @oriastronomical6086
      @oriastronomical6086 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      you missed a crutal point during the midnight kiten venture. if i say this please feel free to delete after words to avoid spoiling it for others if you deem nessacary. But the kittens and mom got eaten by a coyote or dingo

    • @AyangStudios
      @AyangStudios 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ok

    • @mimszanadunstedt441
      @mimszanadunstedt441 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      What happens if you close one eye, open it, then close the other, and open it, repeating that? Does one eye close become a blink or is it a non-blink?

    • @mmalinoff5290
      @mmalinoff5290 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I just made it to the end of this play through and this left me in tears. This is such a beautiful story about such a beautiful family.

  • @tatemitchell1479
    @tatemitchell1479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11275

    When the Ferryman said the child hadn’t had a chance to grow old, I started sobbing. I had a little sister who died aged 2 years 7 months. Her name was Orla. She had special needs and was partially blind, unable to walk, and unable to talk. But I loved her. I remember her funeral, when I was just 5 years old. And it hurts, wishing she’d had a chance. But it was nice hearing Elle talk about how Benny had already lived a full life, and had made his parents’ lives better. I hope Orla is somewhere she likes.

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1038

      😭 that's so sad

    • @marblegarden8456
      @marblegarden8456 2 ปีที่แล้ว +355

      Oh wow, that made me shed a tear just now... thank you.

    • @tatemitchell1479
      @tatemitchell1479 2 ปีที่แล้ว +131

      @@marblegarden8456 💖

    • @notacatjustahuman
      @notacatjustahuman 2 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      This comment marks the fifth times I bursted into an ugly sob

    • @straightmaster
      @straightmaster 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      I just had a little brother he’s just turned 1 I hope he gets lucky and survives longer I couldn’t imagine losing him I’m very sorry for you and i hope that you can live with knowing u could have a litlle sister by ur side may she rest in peace

  • @MatchaTheVibeking
    @MatchaTheVibeking 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2235

    One of the subtler, but seriously heartbreaking details is how much more compassion the mother started showing to the cat once it came back. She knew that the cat had lost her babies, and she herself was terrified to lose her own baby.

    • @dukewild5071
      @dukewild5071 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +51

      I overlooked that detail already feeling the buzz of emotions' swirl. That's heavy..

    • @micolea1569
      @micolea1569 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +27

      THAT part made me cry

    • @Athena_the_drawer
      @Athena_the_drawer 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      can somebody please give me a timeline of this

    • @mercurycures8204
      @mercurycures8204 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ⁠@@Athena_the_drawer1:32:45 😊

    • @karugoki1585
      @karugoki1585 20 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Dang

  • @rockynstuff
    @rockynstuff 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1079

    when you think about it, the blacked-out parts represent how your brain blacks out some traumatic parts of your life. This game had so many layers my goodness.

    • @pricesmith1793
      @pricesmith1793 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +26

      I think that's the point-- to reconsider how we shape our perception of ourselves, and to consider that what may be undue burdens on that process and if it should even be a process at all.

    • @BeHappy0155
      @BeHappy0155 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      It's kind of ironic how my memories from the past are mostly negative.

    • @ZerasCupboard
      @ZerasCupboard 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      I always thought of it as parts of a memory that you cant really remember, like on the beach with Bennys mom. We clearly remember the setting, what she was saying, and what she was talking about, but everything else and all the other details arent remembered as well. However I can definitely see some parts of the game using that blackness to represent blocking things out of your brain. Like when Bennys parents are arguing when hes playing the piano, and the blacked-out bits start creeping in and taking up more and more of his memory/vision.
      Really well thought out game dude.

    • @replay_rewind
      @replay_rewind 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Your brain doesn't block out traumatic events. That's a common myth.

    • @sorreldislikespotatoes9882
      @sorreldislikespotatoes9882 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@replay_rewindSource?

  • @finn_bee_
    @finn_bee_ ปีที่แล้ว +1548

    no one is talking about how soothing your voice is 😭 it just adds to the sadness affect so much

    • @AJ_Menace
      @AJ_Menace 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      He edited his voice to sound like that. The power is audio engineering.

    • @akacocox6114
      @akacocox6114 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +63

      ​@@AJ_Menacenot completely true, he's simply talking quietly.
      There's a tonne of times he talks in a normal volume and it's very noticeable.

    • @jasperqueen3676
      @jasperqueen3676 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      @@AJ_Menace Even if he edited it, it's still his voice. . . .

    • @xcileter2063
      @xcileter2063 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Fr i love the audio

    • @littlenuni
      @littlenuni 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yessss that’s what I thought tooo

  • @NiaJustNia
    @NiaJustNia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3895

    I think the thing that hits you is that you realise it's about grief, and trying to reach the stage of acceptance, but it's from the perspective of the person who's died and what they've lost, rather than those left behind. I can't imagine what it must be like for a child to have to accept that they're going to die imminently, and they have no choice but to accept it because it's happening no matter what they do.

    • @Harms361
      @Harms361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +113

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. I lost my mom a few months ago-and I’m not at acceptance-you won’t follow the stages of grief in “order” whatever that means-but this was a good game and good analysis.

    • @NiaJustNia
      @NiaJustNia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +93

      @@Harms361Yeah, the grief cycle has arrows pointing backwards as well as forwards. When I became disabled, my grief cycle was back and forth for about 3 years. Even now I have the occasional anger and denial

    • @Harms361
      @Harms361 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      @@NiaJustNia oh I’m so sorry❤️But yk Jesus will help us

    • @puffynoodle5997
      @puffynoodle5997 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The way you describe it makes me think of a game called Rime. I'd definitely recommend it.

    • @seineevee
      @seineevee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@puffynoodle5997 Agreed, I’d recommend Rime as well

  • @Mattrero
    @Mattrero 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2531

    Notice:
    The boat ben was on for the entire journey is the boat he used to draw when he was younger.
    The Ferryman is a hyena, wich is a refference to the hyenas that killed the kittens.
    The Ferryman is also Anubis, wich he learned about in class at the beginning.
    Everyday the sandwich got smaller, because he started having trouble eating.
    The story is about an 11 year old boy processing death. It wasnt until his mother told him it was okay, that the red virus thing went away and a more peacefull death came.
    The game was dedicated to the devs father who had passed away.

    • @derpinator_3000
      @derpinator_3000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      How did the kittens get killed by hyenas?

    • @chxnce-_-
      @chxnce-_- 2 ปีที่แล้ว +159

      They weren't hyenas they were coyotes

    • @eightbitfeline1415
      @eightbitfeline1415 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      he's canine not hyena

    • @spooky4988
      @spooky4988 2 ปีที่แล้ว +128

      @@derpinator_3000 27:17 they were not hyenas, they were coyotes. They ate the babies because the parents decided to leave them outside for awhile, very tragic

    • @derpinator_3000
      @derpinator_3000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@spooky4988 ohh ok! Thx for telling me, I didn't know cuz I couldn't finish the video

  • @nutmegdoesstuff1339
    @nutmegdoesstuff1339 ปีที่แล้ว +644

    Wait, I just realized.
    The reason that the cat suddenly stopped showing up, the reason that the neighbor disapeared until the end, all of the inconsistencies and things that were seemingly just missing all of a sudden, were because he simply forgot to write them into the story he wrote for his mom.

    • @Azureitsu
      @Azureitsu 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      The lost fragments of memories

    • @HerobrineWorshipper
      @HerobrineWorshipper 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      But not forgotten, for the Ferryman's boat was his childhood toy@@Azureitsu

    • @KindaHekku
      @KindaHekku หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@Azureitsu"it's just a burning memory" starts playing

    • @quinnco9
      @quinnco9 17 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

      “So he made up a story of the great life he though he wanted to live, which only made him forget the great life he already had.”

  • @maxlevelbeast5356
    @maxlevelbeast5356 ปีที่แล้ว +761

    the parralels between the mother and the cat are shattering. they both went to a place they didn't necessarily belong, had a family, then a piece of that family was ripped away by an uncontrollable force and they are left to sit and watch the other piece just wither away. god i love this game.

    • @LadyJayne2102
      @LadyJayne2102 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Omg you’re right

  • @Fairygoblet
    @Fairygoblet 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2996

    I really like the implication that the gatekeeper wants a life honestly lived, and that the people who were not allowed to enter where the people who made out their lives grander to be than they really were because they thought they weren't important, meaning they missed the point of living.

  • @foxinasweater2300
    @foxinasweater2300 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3485

    When the momma cat came back and the mom was like so much more understanding of her, I think it's cause she knew she was losing her baby too. That's why they wanted to pamper her suddenly.

    • @peterbillings3276
      @peterbillings3276 2 ปีที่แล้ว +297

      That realization hit me hard. And then it made me think about what those horrifying dogs on the step represented. It must have been horrible for Ben’s mom to watch helplessly as the sickness killed her son. 😭

    • @skylarbishop7913
      @skylarbishop7913 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Well said. Truly

    • @daenerystargaryen
      @daenerystargaryen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yea. After she dumped poor cat outaide with kittens and indirectly caused their death. Mom is an assholes. Like are typical people abandoning their pets.

    • @daenerystargaryen
      @daenerystargaryen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@peterbillings3276 it must have been horrible for poor cat to watch dogs slaughter her kittens after the asshole mom threw her out.

    • @peanutinatree7191
      @peanutinatree7191 2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      Oh God this makes me even more sad... Because she would have just come back to find not so long later her best friend dies...

  • @agoogolofgeese
    @agoogolofgeese 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +625

    Not gonna lie, that ending made this 35 y/o man cry like a baby lol.
    I think I'll go make that phone call to my mom that I'm ashamed to say I've been putting off.
    Edit: made the call and I'm glad I did. She was having a bad day and said my call made it much better :) gotta do that more often. Call your folks, people!

    • @7ommy98
      @7ommy98 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Happy to hear that!

    • @ImpulsiveLimbo
      @ImpulsiveLimbo 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

      Hey just sending a reminder to call her if you didn't recently ❤️ try to set an alarm to call once a week at least from a 29 year old who didn't call her dad as a kid before it was too late

    • @emmadai2200
      @emmadai2200 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      great job man!

    • @mudkipfan2420
      @mudkipfan2420 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    • @tiscomplicated
      @tiscomplicated 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I’m so glad to hear that!

  • @DawnX-rp8im
    @DawnX-rp8im ปีที่แล้ว +255

    This game's a perfect example of how you can't hang onto the past for so long. No matter how hard you try, you'll always blink one too many times and miss something that you can't recall.

    • @theblueberrypi6152
      @theblueberrypi6152 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      That’s a quote if I’ve ever seen one

  • @jillthinksimabreakfasttaco4904
    @jillthinksimabreakfasttaco4904 ปีที่แล้ว +3280

    Ben's first memory of mom: "Why are you smiling like that? You must really like it out here, huh?"
    Ben's final memory of mom: "Why is he smiling like that? He must be somewhere that he likes."
    Who's cutting onions?

    • @Dyanosis
      @Dyanosis ปีที่แล้ว +106

      I'm not crying! I just got some dirt in my eye.

    • @pederior6627
      @pederior6627 ปีที่แล้ว +75

      Dude why did u write it in comments im crying again god damn it 😂😭

    • @aname4700
      @aname4700 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      oh my god

    • @emajoi2815
      @emajoi2815 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      Me. It is I who cuts the onions. 🔪

    • @SoonyTheDumby
      @SoonyTheDumby ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@emajoi2815 how dare you

  • @limegreen000
    @limegreen000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2703

    I held up until the last minute where during the monologue the viewpoint switched between elle and the ferryman I don’t know what it was but that moment made me lose it, i could not stop the waterworks

    • @limegreen000
      @limegreen000 3 ปีที่แล้ว +363

      (Spoilers but) such a small detail i loved was the little metronome at the bottom at the screen. I know it caused you so much pain bc it made your eyes so dry dhjfjd but in the second go around after the ferryman calls you out for being a liar the metronome speeds up reflecting his impatience
      It slows down and completely stops when, sadly, Benny finally dies
      During the final monologue, it stops at each side depending on who’s speaking
      Such a small thing but so much thought went into it

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +261

      @@limegreen000 wow nice catches on the symbolism there! The switching viewpoint did hit really hard for some reason. so good.

    • @aliyahjoelle5366
      @aliyahjoelle5366 2 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Same here. I watch a lot of tear-jerking things with a dry eye. But that last monologue had me SOBBING.

    • @amby-mo3vk
      @amby-mo3vk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      same, the minute i saw the cat, the mum, i just BALLED MY EYES OUT

    • @eschelar
      @eschelar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      That was the moment when this game went from amazing to truly exceptional for me.
      My jaw hit the floor.
      Absolute brilliance.

  • @DovahkiinVolkihar
    @DovahkiinVolkihar ปีที่แล้ว +274

    I played this game not knowing what it was about and I can’t say I regret playing but I also sometimes wish I didn’t. This game hit so close to home, at 6 years old I was diagnosed with cancer and bonded with one of my cats my mother was allergic to. I loved her so much but when I relapsed we had to put her down. At that point before I relapsed I started to get better and became very passionate about art and music. Once I started treatment again I lost my ability to sing and struggled to think through playing piano so I began to sketch and paint. For my 10th birthday my parents got me an ESA cat named Luna who is thankfully still with me. Around the age of 11 I relapsed again loosing my ability to walk and sing all over again. I fell into a dark place loosing friends being stuck in my room 24/7. My parents never pushed me to work hard knowing I was in pain, my second treatment of relapse failed and I had to move to transplant. It went well but I was still stuck in my room a lot and lost almost all my friends. All I had was my family and Luna. I recently turned 15 and I’m 2 years out from transplant still in remission but playing this game really hit me… I couldn’t get out of my mind that I could’ve been in bennys situation staring into that red and black void pushing away until it consumed me. I’ve lied to myself before about my status of my cancers health but playing this just really hurts. It’s beautiful and well portrayed of how it feels to be in this situation. I always feared I would be in the literal same boat as Ben but luckily avoided it. If you know someone who went through a similar experience, don’t tell them about this game for their own sake but please play it so you know what they went through. I always speak to my friends about my past experiences with my cancer and I understand it’s hard for them to know what I went through but I think if they played this… they would know just enough..

    • @greggalloway6410
      @greggalloway6410 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @reesealunar693 how are you doing?

    • @DovahkiinVolkihar
      @DovahkiinVolkihar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

      I’m a lot better now, I think I’m almost 3 years out now from transplant still knock on wood in remission. Things are going well, making new friends, etc. it’s kind of odd to come back to this comment realizing how much my mental health changed for the better in just a few months and still seeing how far I have yet to go. Needless to say it’s nice to look over everything every once in a while from a different perspective.

    • @jarrettbutts2405
      @jarrettbutts2405 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      Thank you for sharing. You sound like a beautiful person and I hope you can use your experiences of pain to give joy to others.

    • @tristantheoofer2
      @tristantheoofer2 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      i saw a playthrough of this game way before i got cancer (and subsequently beat it after 10 months) and i feel like that chronic pain part is gonna actually make me cry when ii get there

    • @DovahkiinVolkihar
      @DovahkiinVolkihar 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      It’s hard yet beautifully portrayed exactly how it happens, I’ve had too many friends I’ve made through this experience that didn’t turn out the way I did. Luckily my best friend is still with me after going through exactly the same experience as me and with the same outcome as me. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did but just try to look at the bright side after watching this. It’s NOT YOU! and there’s not much more I can say from that. It doesn’t mean we won’t have bad spots post treatment, fear, depression, anxiety, PTSD. Heck I have all of that but what’s important is that we aren’t in that part of our life anymore. We are in the future, time to start a new chapter.

  • @aarona3144
    @aarona3144 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +198

    Has anyone tied the metronome to the waving of the cat's tail at the end? There is so much metaphoric stuff in this game. This is really a unique gem. The voice actors, the play style etc and it seems very accessible to even people who know nothing about games but can enjoy a good bittersweet story.

  • @omniscientnarrator6579
    @omniscientnarrator6579 2 ปีที่แล้ว +917

    Benny thought his most rotten, shameful secret was that he didn't grow up to be a renowned genius whose name was known all over. It brought me to tears when he learned that he didn't have to be famous to be considered important, when he learned that existing was enough, and when the ferryman realised the same thing.

    • @bella-dn2cu
      @bella-dn2cu ปีที่แล้ว +49

      especially since the ferryman is similar to his mum in a way at the end they both come to the conclusion that hes important as he is and i think because of that similarity the wolf was kinda his mum in a way.

    • @marcus14659
      @marcus14659 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      It hits at the anxiety of not being enough or worthy of love. It's pretty abstract but it's one of everyone's biggest fears. We'll all die eventually but not all of us will feel fulfilled and ready to go and that to me is a big fear. But the game reassures you that anyone and everyone can be and is enough as they are and worthy of love. It's so damn cathartic

    • @Snipesaintme
      @Snipesaintme ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Great I made it through the whole vid just fine but your comment made me cry

    • @quinnco9
      @quinnco9 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

      A belief inadvertently given to him by his mom, who was given it by her dad. Kids internalize way more than people think

  • @drawingdragon
    @drawingdragon ปีที่แล้ว +1437

    I'm sitting here ugly crying at 4 A.M. but I noticed none of the comments mentioning this detail at the end:
    The "wolf" ferryman isn't just a quirky choice to represent the afterlife. In Benny's history class, the teacher is talking about the Egyptian god of death Anubis (the jackal) who presents souls to the goddess Ma'at, who will decide if they are pure enough to enter the afterlife. The ferryman even kneels to "get ready" for her arrival, mimicking the picture of Anubis that Benny drew in class.
    Super awesome details I couldn't find anyone else mentioning.

    • @RedstoneMiner18
      @RedstoneMiner18 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You're right

    • @JensGulin
      @JensGulin 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +58

      Yes, to me that also explains why the cat were taken by "wolves".
      Or it's all misleading. The references may also say that there really is no afterlife: It's all yet another story made up by a collapsing mind. Old memories mix together into a imagined future. The seagulls and the word of the mother from the beach. The wolf and the cat. And of course the wind-up boat. I was just expecting Chloe to be the gate keeper, instead of a one-eye god. But perhaps there are multiple endings too.
      As interesting the novel game control was, I think the writing made the main impact. They fit very well together. And making the protagonist possibly a musician, a painter or a writer is a great way to make the audience feel "at home". Or it's the story of the entire crew, making it so relatable.

    • @Bsnsobscuregames
      @Bsnsobscuregames 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I noticed that immediately

    • @landonfolken03
      @landonfolken03 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

      When he "drew" it on his paper it looked exactly like the ferryman.

    • @lmXela
      @lmXela 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I noticed all of that other than the pose part

  • @visi5612
    @visi5612 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +394

    1:31:25 "Mom, this is lovely. You wrote this? It's amazing. So proud of you." It wasn't even the game that made me cry but your commentary and soothing voice. It was like you were voicing the thoughts of Ben as his mom watched her dying son play her piece. You were so sweet to say those words. And I'm so elated to have found this channel. You're eloquent with your words and your voice accompanies your eloquence like a soft melody.

    • @idkwhochloeis
      @idkwhochloeis 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      i was about to say the same thing, after he said “so proud of you” i broke down

  • @isbammoi3358
    @isbammoi3358 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +46

    "And he was everything he needed to be. Just as he was."
    messes me up bad every time I hear it.

  • @greypvine
    @greypvine 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3910

    didn’t think i’d cry going into this at all, but the story at the end pulled at my heartstrings in a major way

    • @guska5523
      @guska5523 2 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Oh my god, I'm not one to be affected by games in general, especially ones I'm watching in the background. This one got me.

    • @okaywhynot4728
      @okaywhynot4728 2 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      I didn’t think I’d be ugly crying after work watching this play through. I really thought this was an exaggeration im fighting for my life here 😭

    • @pixill4ted593
      @pixill4ted593 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same

    • @Kiiki041
      @Kiiki041 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@guska5523 exactly, but I never knew how sad it would be

    • @jokerplayz2560
      @jokerplayz2560 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      T

  • @Brooks0511
    @Brooks0511 ปีที่แล้ว +1684

    The father was the true hero . He held it together for the whole family

    • @7.6Millionthcat
      @7.6Millionthcat ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Shut it default profile

    • @SusieLostHerDog
      @SusieLostHerDog ปีที่แล้ว +187

      @@7.6Millionthcat tf is that supposed to mean? Just because someone has a default profile doesn’t make them any worse than anyone else.

    • @PigeonLivered_Ratbag
      @PigeonLivered_Ratbag ปีที่แล้ว +86

      @@7.6Millionthcat Jeez, what happened to make you so angry? Whatever it was, no need to take it out on other people.

    • @peilingpey697
      @peilingpey697 ปีที่แล้ว +139

      i came to the replies expecting constructive conversations about how the dad putting on a brave face for his family when times got harder made him such a good character but now I'm kind of disappointed

    • @thememeqween
      @thememeqween ปีที่แล้ว +27

      ⁠​⁠@@peilingpey697i can see why.

  • @Swiftie4liferslolz
    @Swiftie4liferslolz ปีที่แล้ว +158

    The ending had me crying so hard. The plot is beautiful, and it shows how life can go by fast, it’s beautiful. I love it.

  • @M1551NGN0
    @M1551NGN0 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +267

    This is one of those rare indie games that NEEDS to have a movie adaptation

    • @user-lk9zz6ou8g
      @user-lk9zz6ou8g 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      What’s it called?

    • @M1551NGN0
      @M1551NGN0 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@user-lk9zz6ou8g i don't know but I would love to watch a movie adaptation of this game

    • @Zennethe
      @Zennethe 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@user-lk9zz6ou8gbefore your eyes

    • @TurtleTracksStudio
      @TurtleTracksStudio 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

      Nah, not a good idea. Games should standalone as a media as significant as movies or books. This game uses the player interaction for even more engagement and story that a movie wouldn't be able to replicate. It'd be like making a movie out of a book, the book is always better

    • @M1551NGN0
      @M1551NGN0 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@TurtleTracksStudio ya over the time I realised you're correct

  • @xstarsystemsx
    @xstarsystemsx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2224

    I don't even know why it was the trigger, but I saw the gatekeeper was a cat and just started bawling my eyes out. I had mascara on, it stings, dammit.

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +183

      😂😭 it's so sad

    • @indiemacabre9777
      @indiemacabre9777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +312

      The fact that she was modeled after his childhood cat-who knew just when to come home for him-it fucking got me, dude.

    • @eschelar
      @eschelar 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      I saw that coming when the cat showed up at the window and if I hadn't already been fighting back tears for the previous 15 minutes, I probably would have been right there with you.
      As soon as the cat shows up, you know it's time for the curtain to fall.

    • @Cat-wy5xy
      @Cat-wy5xy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      omg me too

    • @jamangel
      @jamangel 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol

  • @avagreig8892
    @avagreig8892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3246

    as a teenager who has lived the past 3 years in the hospital fighting a rare chronic painful disease, this story hit hard. for example sometimes i like to imagine myself living this amazingly productive and important life but i always bring my self back to reality and am painfully reminded that, that life style isn’t realistic for me. This game really pulled my heart strings.

    • @scisarah3770
      @scisarah3770 2 ปีที่แล้ว +134

      Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you're having a nice day. So sorry about your condition, I cannot imagine what it would be like to live with something like that.

    • @avagreig8892
      @avagreig8892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +95

      @@scisarah3770 Thank you!🤍everyday is a fight but i’ve just learned to take it day by day and be grateful for the little things!

    • @straightmaster
      @straightmaster 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Good luck I send u all the luck in the world stay healthy (enough)

    • @sarmajere2866
      @sarmajere2866 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      I feel this. I'm an adult, but I have a rare chronic painful condition too, one that, although it isn't going to end my life, has been limiting it for some time now. It's really frustrating, isn't it? Just wanted you to know you aren't entirely alone out there, even if my specifics are a little different!

    • @mimikyulover3411
      @mimikyulover3411 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Hey. I live in a very different situation from you. But I think we both need to remember that we aren't what we do. We aren't what we think we will do or what we have done. Actions fade. We are who we are. We are our feelings, and emotions and us. We are our presence. Call it soul, spirit, aura. We are us because we exist, and there is only one of us. One of us that needs and deserves to be loved and to love, and to feel sad and angry and happy and a bit crazy. And as long as you feel your feelings, wether they are these or some I don't even know, you are you. And you is beautiful.

  • @Nullquinox
    @Nullquinox ปีที่แล้ว +75

    I started crying... when Elle and the Ferryman were saying B's story. It was hard getting through it because i sobbed and sobbed. It just brought happy memories again. I felt like I was with my grandma again. My grandma died of lung cancer, same as B. The parents were filled with hope, and happy for who Benny was. Even with his cancer, he still lived his life to the fullest. But the hardest part is saying goodbye. Everyone you live will be okay here. And they will remember you. But one day you will get to see them again.
    Live your life to the fullest, even with your disabilities.

  • @ThatJeepGuy2007
    @ThatJeepGuy2007 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +70

    I have never cried at a playthrough of a game before, until now. Damn.
    The game itself is a clever concept and the storytelling is truly emotional, i actually felt the game.
    Just, wow.

  • @jennykitkat181
    @jennykitkat181 ปีที่แล้ว +1735

    Okay that visualisation of pain after he got sick was way on point. I’ve never seen anyone come anything close to visualising chronic pain, literally amazed by the artists in this game. Absolutely stunning all of it

    • @smithbabies7886
      @smithbabies7886 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      You have to keep your eyes open, no matter how bright or burning the bright white light is.

    • @goober23459
      @goober23459 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      that dragon cancer:

    • @jackmiddleton2080
      @jackmiddleton2080 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +65

      It made me really sad. Pain is merciless and non discriminating. They captured that well with the player doing everything he is supposed to do and you hope that it will get better but it doesn't and it just keeps growing.

    • @user-hx5hh3tc9v
      @user-hx5hh3tc9v 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      ​​@@smithbabies7886wait, really? Will it reveal something? Like his last thoughts?

    • @TrustfulLoki85doesyoutube
      @TrustfulLoki85doesyoutube 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Timestamp?

  • @stupidproscraft
    @stupidproscraft 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4853

    This is better than other youtubers, completely silent and you can hear the game...

    • @carbon4054
      @carbon4054 3 ปีที่แล้ว +567

      Yeah, his voice is so soothing and you can actually hear the gameplay

    • @Creatorsan
      @Creatorsan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +374

      His voice is very soothing. Plus it doesn't drown out the characters voices in the games he plays.

    • @joeh858
      @joeh858 2 ปีที่แล้ว +87

      and they say video games make you violent... which translates to legacy media is envious that it's a better entertainment medium than movies or anything else combined.

    • @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX
      @XxXMrSisterFisterXxX 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@joeh858 I agree, despite AAA devs absolutely butchering beloved gaming franchises. then again, they're doing the exact same thing to classic movies and shows in Hollywood.
      a lot of the indie stuff coming out (games and movies alike) is incredible though

    • @kaleycooper9111
      @kaleycooper9111 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@joeh858 It completely depends on the game. Of course, anyone can realize having a 6 year old play a game where they murder people on a daily basis could possible end up badly.
      Now, Before Your Eyes isn’t that kind of game, is it? Nor is it being played by an impressionable child

  • @crystalwolf4173
    @crystalwolf4173 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +41

    Oh no... When I realized this was a kid all of my own losses and griefs suddenly struck all at once, and I ugly sobbed for a good 10-15mins. I can't remember another game that's made me this emotional. It was beautiful and lovely as well as sad. Thank you for playing it.

  • @yourqueen218
    @yourqueen218 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +34

    The fact you’re so sincere throughout the entire video made the game feel so much more sentimental. I began full on crying five minutes before the video ended and I can’t even relate to any of the events .-. Thank you for the great video :)

  • @stardasuperstar895
    @stardasuperstar895 2 ปีที่แล้ว +963

    That ending... the kitty at the gatekeeper, his mom as the wolf, telling his story. He died smiling, he was somewhere he liked. My heart is shot and I am bawling. This is an amazing game.

    • @Eliana-wm4kj
      @Eliana-wm4kj ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Your comment was the last straw... you made me cry

    • @kyote413
      @kyote413 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      how was his mom the wolf?

    • @Fruitgummiesyum
      @Fruitgummiesyum ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@kyote413 how at the end when you blinked as the mom was telling the story it switched to the wolf telling the story. But the wolf isn’t actually the mom they were just telling the same story.

    • @salmahyenasashimicheetah6888
      @salmahyenasashimicheetah6888 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Well actually if you want the truth, This isn’t in the afterlife at all. The ending is in REAL TIME. As the wolf talks, so too does the mother. As the gatekeeper takes Benny away, Benny passes away in real time.

    • @962bex
      @962bex 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Balling my eyes here 😢

  • @feywild1758
    @feywild1758 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1109

    I was totally expecting Ben to have done something really awful in those memories that he didn't want to admit to but then when I realized what actually was going on I started straight up ugly sobbing... that hit me harder than I thought it would

    • @jamesbenz3228
      @jamesbenz3228 2 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      Yeah man, same same. I'm laying in bed bawling my eyes out lol

    • @Ceciliaqq
      @Ceciliaqq 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      same dude, i usually dont cry but damn

    • @Ash.3s
      @Ash.3s 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      That's most likely what the ferryman thought as well at first when he was yelling/threatening him until once he got the true story out he was ultimately like: "oh sht, nevermind kid, you can stop now". Which is pretty understandable why you guys, the ferryman and including me thought he did something he shouldn't have, but the real story was just as depressing/heart-wrenching T-T

    • @SCUMMY4205
      @SCUMMY4205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I know, I was like, oh no...did he hurt someone or grow uo to he some kind of abusive person or murder. Then realizing he never grew up, never got to live a real life. I was broken. Kids don't deserve to go through such hard times.

    • @CarrotFlowers421
      @CarrotFlowers421 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I thought it would turn out that the parents were worse. The mom was more exacting and the dad was a drunk. I was relieved that wasn't the case.

  • @kendiillust9607
    @kendiillust9607 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    I watched through the game and thought there's no way this is gonna make me cry and just when his mother started reading him his real story, I just bawled nonstop. What a great game, the mechanic and storytelling was beyond what i expected, I hope there's more games like this

  • @ga1v4na
    @ga1v4na 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    This would honestly make a fabulous VR game

  • @mothmanlol6263
    @mothmanlol6263 2 ปีที่แล้ว +624

    I like that the longer it goes on the more it hurts to play and at the points where he’s in the most pain there’s like such a bright light searing into your eyes and then at the end when he dies you get to close your eyes and finally rest too

    • @mothmanlol6263
      @mothmanlol6263 2 ปีที่แล้ว +86

      Kinda like you’re struggling to keep your eyes open at the same rate that he is

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  2 ปีที่แล้ว +145

      yessss, I honestly didn't even realise this till much later looking back on the game and, it's so clever!

    • @railaitv
      @railaitv หลายเดือนก่อน

      that made me sob

  • @nicholasbentley7351
    @nicholasbentley7351 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    What I learned from this video. After you cry your eyes are more watery and you don’t need to blink as often. I’m not sure if it was intentional, but in the beginning time flies as you can’t help but blink, but as time goes on you are able to blink less with the tears life has brought you, and see more of what is happening in your life. When were little we don’t even consider the idea of time or mortality, but as we get closer and closer to the end of this road we realize we shouldn’t have blinked quite so much...

    • @lesliekerman4222
      @lesliekerman4222 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +35

      damn i remember when i first turned 18 there was a sudden realization that there isn't this wall of adultness that is separating me and death anymore

    • @crapbag2560
      @crapbag2560 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      ​@@lesliekerman4222damn, i hit 18 just a few months ago and i can feel that right now.

    • @amandasunshine2
      @amandasunshine2 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Jfc this hit me hard.. I'm dealing with some stuff in my life rn 😮‍💨

  • @Apollis.
    @Apollis. 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    It encapsulates the feelings of one having great wishes for their life and being able to have it all taken away in the blink of an eye. One boy, losing all his dreams and wishes. Losing his parents, in his last moments. Talking to his best friend, hearing his parents voices one last time. It shows how we must always be thankful for what we have in life, because in the blink of an eye it can all be taken away. Dont take what you have for granted because it can be taken from you in the blink of an eye.

  • @PATATAGAME1
    @PATATAGAME1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +22

    The part where it switches from the mom to the ferryman, syncing their words, truly amazing... Made me cry 20/10 I would pay thousands to the developer for this idea

  • @tiffanygroover8985
    @tiffanygroover8985 ปีที่แล้ว +641

    I lost my little boy when he was 5 years old. He was sick, battling cancer for almost four years...lots of hospital stays and just so much unfairness in it all. I can't stop crying after the "had already lived a full life, and made his parents' lives better." That's absolutely true but damn does it hurt. I miss you so much my sweet one. Mama carries you ever day. I always will.

    • @likechez54
      @likechez54 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I’m so sorry mame

    • @CowBirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre
      @CowBirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +18

      You’ve went through a tough life so far,but it will get better. My mom 2 miss carriages,and tried for so long to have me and my brother.10 years later my little sister is right there. What I’m trying to say is, life is surly a bumpy road, and it’ll make us cry and smile and get mad. But it gets better

    • @Lyshee09
      @Lyshee09 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      This made me shed tears. Please stay strong. ❤

    • @Sttatic123
      @Sttatic123 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Stay strong

    • @SarcastSempervirens
      @SarcastSempervirens 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I so wish I didn't know what you feel. I'm sorry.

  • @firstcanonkill1767
    @firstcanonkill1767 ปีที่แล้ว +2429

    I’ve been a sick kid, and an artist, for years now, and I’ve never related to a game so much. Thank you for making this game accessible to me, and introducing it to me.
    I’m 18 this year. Last November I got sick enough that I felt like I was dying. There were machines around me, I felt fuzzy and far away, I was on oxygen, all that jazz. I sat in my bed for hours for the days I was there, not really hungry enough to finish my meals like benny and his sandwiches. My mum visited me every day I was there but this once, I remember clearly. I was in an observation ward. To my right was a mean older married woman, and to my left there was an elderly lady with dementia who couldn’t even sit up. I was in the middle, and I remember being very tired.
    Mum came in and gave me gifts from family and friends, she helped me get to the bathroom, she combed my hair with her fingers, and… she realised I was falling asleep again.
    I said sorry, I said I wanted to stay awake so bad, that I missed her and I missed dad and I want to go home, and she said it’s okay for me to rest. Her hour slot was done soon after, and I cried before I finally fell asleep for the next few hours.
    I got better, obviously, but I still get sick and I’m still in pain, I went to the emergency room two days ago. But… I’m 18 this year. It sounds dramatic and cheesy, but with the way my health continuously gets worse, didn’t know if I would have gotten to 18 if not for loving everyone around me. My friends and family. I could have tried to cut my own suffering short before now, but I love them all so much, and I want to see where they go in life, and where I go, too.
    I know this is a super cheesy and super late comment and you probably won’t even see this, but… yeah. Thanks for bringing a game into my life that really helped me feel some feelings I’ve needed to process for a long time now. You’re amazing.

    • @_gh0stgirl
      @_gh0stgirl ปีที่แล้ว +67

      Wow.

    • @Sam-wu2cu
      @Sam-wu2cu ปีที่แล้ว +99

      Dude I'm gonna cry.

    • @RinAliasPupsi
      @RinAliasPupsi ปีที่แล้ว +121

      God this made me cry even more. I am so, so glad that you have such a warm and loving heart and that it has kept you alive and strong for all this time, and just like Benny, I am sure you as well are a great source of light and joy to everyone around you. Hang in there. Sending lots of strength and love, dear stranger.

    • @-Ryan_Gasoline-
      @-Ryan_Gasoline- ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Always persevere, good to hear you're better and I hope it keeps going up. What sickness do you have, exactly? If I don't bother you asking.

    • @swancrunch
      @swancrunch ปีที่แล้ว +47

      > this is a super cheesy and super late comment and you probably won’t even see this, but…
      but other people will. thanks for sharing your story.
      grief is a bitch to deal with, no matter on what side of it you are. but having people who care around you make it waaaaaaaaaaay easier, that's for sure.

  • @jedediah-fanuel
    @jedediah-fanuel 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +60

    Have you guys ever heard that when someone is about to die, they will see a film telling the story of their life. I think this game is aiming for that. Bravo!
    6:05 first memory
    1:43:16 last memory

    • @crystility
      @crystility 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      The first and last memory awww 😭

    • @rizuchingt2427
      @rizuchingt2427 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I just noticed it! Wow this is so emotional

  • @alexie101010
    @alexie101010 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I lost a child that was very close to me very recently. This story hit me with the feelings of grief and waves of emotion with that unexpected twist. I was not expecting this from this video but I'm sort of happy it happened that way. Helped me work through some feelings I've not processed just yet.

  • @thatdangartistgrrl
    @thatdangartistgrrl ปีที่แล้ว +333

    Something I just realised is the boat the Ferryman took Benny to The Gatekeeper on was the boat that Benny had loved as a kid; referring to when he dragged the boat over the clouds at dawn, a moment of truth dawning on him as he rode to The Gatekeeper.

    • @LiamSSY
      @LiamSSY ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I thinked it could be too, but i guess it is

    • @bajaraemperor895
      @bajaraemperor895 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      the ferryman was the egyptian god that takes souls to the afterlife. and the egyptian god that accepts the souls is a cat. watch the part in the classroom. the teacher is even explaining how the cat looking god of truth and justice had to weigh your soul before you could be let into heaven or whatever you want to call it. i think the afterlife part was all elements from his own memories. i bet if we watched it a few more times we would find other elements.

  • @blueseerboi
    @blueseerboi ปีที่แล้ว +347

    This game made me openly sob, as a sick kid who never got better, who felt they were robbed of their potential to dream of being anything. This game hit hard, I have to live being sick my whole life, and being rarely able to create and paint due to the exhaustion and pain for just living a daily life, constantly taking meds and making constant appointments to keep track of my health. This reflected and resonated so deeply, the minute I saw the MRI machine, it gave me the same feeling of just being a kid sitting in one of those as the machine blared, having the nurse tell me to make up a story while I lied in there. I just broke down, this is a beautiful game that tells a story I don't see often. That the kid is as frustrated living with it as the parents, and simply wanting to be like anyone else in the world. I never felt so seen before, and this game just showed it in a way that hit so hard

    • @tforceraven
      @tforceraven 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I feel your pain. I also had an illness as a child. Fortunately, I am able to do some art but I really wish that I could have got into sports. I wish more things would talk about childhood illnesses. The TV show Alexa and Katie did it pretty good I think.

    • @blueseerboi
      @blueseerboi 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @bluberri9167 I'm getting by, but I'm still having to monitor my multiple conditions, it's exhausting but I'm not giving up yet

    • @blueseerboi
      @blueseerboi 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@tforceraven being a sick kid, no one besides the kids who were experiencing the same thing, otherwise the kids thought I was weird, even as an adult it's a struggle

    • @danielglatz1643
      @danielglatz1643 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Hey how old are you? What do you have if you don’t mind me asking?

  • @Th3Marchioness
    @Th3Marchioness 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    This was like actual therapy for me, I cried so many times. I've never watched any of your videos, I don't know why TH-cam recommended it, but thank you so much for sharing.

  • @Dani-ip5cb
    @Dani-ip5cb 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    halfway through i started calling her 'our mom', like thats how much of a great job the game did at immersing me in the story. and so did you! your voice is lovely, and the commentary really added another emotional layer to the narrative. amazing game, great playthrough

  • @magiv4205
    @magiv4205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +783

    When Ernie came back to him because she sensed he needed her, that absolutely broke me. My family has several cats, and my favorite one has always been the quiet, shy one. Others didn't really appreciate Momo sometimes, because she was independent and standoffish, and only allowed you to pet her on her terms. I was the same as a kid, and I always knew that all she needed was space and respect. We didn't need words to know exactly what the other was thinking or feeling. She used to sleep on my bed and my bed only every night, and sometimes in my wardrobe during the day. She wasn't one to come to you for cuddles much, but she always knew exactly when I needed her, whether I was sick or just having a really shit day, and wouldn't leave my side then. I know you're all scared I'm gonna say she passed away, but no, she's still around. But I've moved out several years ago, and since I'm estranged from my family, I don't go visit often. Too much baggage attached. But... I still miss her so much. She was one of my best friends, and now, every time I visit, I'm nervous and wonder if she'll even remember me. She always has so far, but what if one day, she doesn't? I don't know what I'll do then. I know it's such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, but sometimes it's a small detail like this that sends you over the edge and leaves you crying at 3am writing this youtube comment.

    • @firekaton
      @firekaton 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Go visit, if you waited for sight to visit your cat. Thats your sight. Do it

    • @magiv4205
      @magiv4205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@firekaton thank you:)

    • @firekaton
      @firekaton 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@magiv4205 I hope for warm reunite for you

    • @mellow_3160
      @mellow_3160 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I had a cat until she got about 4 years old, then she died because of cancer. She was my best friend too and like took care of me all the time. 4 years later I still feel so bad that I wasn't be able to be there for her when she just had to get put down bc we thought she just ate something bad and turned out to throw up the whole night bc cancer destroyed all of her organs. It just hurts to know that she probably suffered all the time without showing any sign or anything and I couldn't give her love for a last time and that she had to end her life without me by her side.
      This game kind of made me think and cry about it again. I guess it do sometimes be like these little details

    • @ACreepyGirl
      @ACreepyGirl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      My Ernie left two months ago in my arms because of the same monster that took the kid in this game. She was nearly 18 years old, and lived a good and happy life with me, nearly till the end. I found her again in your story. I can't stop mourning her, I miss her so much.

  • @lilnubbean553
    @lilnubbean553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +818

    Damn when the view went back n forth between his mom and the fishermen thats when I started crying, somthing about that just made it so much more powerful and full of emotion- both characters telling the story with such warmth and care made it all the more emotional I think- God-

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  2 ปีที่แล้ว +48

      The ending is AMAZINGGG

    • @lilnubbean553
      @lilnubbean553 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@MadMorph IT ISSSS I LOVED IT

    • @cinartisty7368
      @cinartisty7368 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      ye, it was as if the mother were the ferryguy/ he put her emotions in his story or read them to the goddess :')

    • @feen13
      @feen13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      FR IM WHIMPERING LIKE A BABY

    • @vy_productions
      @vy_productions 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      That was the same for me. The ending was so emotional -- just had to let the tears flow.

  • @gurllovesdragons
    @gurllovesdragons ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I'm crying. This was the best. Benny was the most adorable. I'm not one to cry easily, but omfg the devs deserve gold medals.

  • @JamesSucksAtGames
    @JamesSucksAtGames 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    I haven't sobbed this uncontrollably because of a game since To the Moon. It's truly amazing how much emotion art mediums can produce, and it's games like this that I point to when people say video games aren't art.

    • @anny8720
      @anny8720 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Funny you should mention to the moon, both before your eyes and that game focus on memories and the dreams you wish you were able to fulfill. But the humane choice in one game ends in rewriting a dying old man's memories to restore what was taken from him and what his late wife was unable to communicate and in another it's a young boy accepting that he wasn't able to live the life he dreamed of and that's okay he doesn't need to lie, he's enough.

  • @brdfillet1050
    @brdfillet1050 2 ปีที่แล้ว +334

    1:31:46 ngl i was a bit upset when he suddenly stopped playing, but when he actually turned to his right and saw the mom listening to him play without saying anything at all, and just merely stared at her face, then went back to playing once more. that. that struck my heartstrings.

  • @theworstdadjoke6518
    @theworstdadjoke6518 2 ปีที่แล้ว +498

    Finding out the gatekeeper was his cat did it for me. I wasn't even holding back tears before that I went from being completely fine to sobbing at the drop of a hat and I kept crying until the end. This story is really beautiful

    • @squtnik
      @squtnik 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      yep that's when I started crying too

    • @Reversisms
      @Reversisms ปีที่แล้ว +8

      That's what the f*ck I get for reading comments

    • @Zlittlepenguin
      @Zlittlepenguin ปีที่แล้ว

      Dude me too. I was fine and then all of a sudden… just… tears…

  • @theelephantintheroom69
    @theelephantintheroom69 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    This game takes "blink and you'll miss it" to a whole new level

  • @campbat5712
    @campbat5712 2 ปีที่แล้ว +833

    me: im not going to watch this whole thing, it's an hour and 40 minutes long
    also me an hour and 40 minutes later: amazing

  • @annaharms5391
    @annaharms5391 2 ปีที่แล้ว +574

    I used to be a serious piano player, so I’d like to say that the Dean isn’t offering a second chance, he’s accusing Benny of not practicing. And that hurts worse than most other things in the music world…ouch.

    • @vampyriicyun
      @vampyriicyun 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I’m still a serious piano player, I’ve experienced what the dean said to Benny once, when I was very young and I didn’t pass the exams required to stay in my music school I was in. That hurt like hell.

  • @catbert7
    @catbert7 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    That dad was a super-hero💙 Dude took shit from everyone and just kept right on giving back nothing but humor, reason, and encouragement. Total boss.
    No tears shed but a great game. The noses made them look like Frankenstein's monster but otherwise well-drawn. The story had some good twists, which were well-coordinated with the blinking mechanic, to give them maximal impact. Time passing in the blink of an eye, drawing out the tragic scenes to be so long the player had blink past them, making it increasingly hard to hold your eyes open as your avatar grew increasingly close to death... brilliant!
    And I liked the moral, of honestly examining one's life and finding the value in it, rather than wishing for what can never be. Though, lets' be real - mom spent 10 years stressing everyone out trying to force him into the expectations her father forced onto her, only for him to die, leaving them, and his friend, broken...
    But great game! 🥰

  • @DreamyDiamond
    @DreamyDiamond 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    this is a story i needed to hear. I'm sure its ridiculous to read a 25 year old struggling with their mortality and so scared of feeling they've not been years well spent but i this hit a place i wasn't expecting

    • @aetherwise2159
      @aetherwise2159 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Nothing ridiculous about it, I’ve had panic attacks since I was a teenager(now 33) over the realization of my own mortality, some of us are just dialed in a certain way. And honestly, giving in to the fear and anxiety of it will cost you more lost time than anything life can throw at you. Honestly, I found most of my solace in Christ, it’s reminded me that I was made with a purpose, and while I sit and despise myself over every minute I’ve wasted, He picks up, calls me beautiful, and reminds me that I can’t waste anything beyond his ability to use it. Gives me an identity that I don’t have to hurt myself every minute to maintain or risk losing ‘myself’.

  • @rainblue4789
    @rainblue4789 2 ปีที่แล้ว +871

    Ernie coming back home when Ben was bedridden really got to me, a Mama that lost all her kittens & came back for the last child she knew
    This was a beautiful playthrough, I'm glad it was recommended to me even if a year's past

    • @vari1535
      @vari1535 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      "the last child she knew" beautiful description.

  • @thenixorone4965
    @thenixorone4965 ปีที่แล้ว +320

    The people who made the story for this game deserve an award!

    • @reinbew794
      @reinbew794 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Better than most "sad" stories that's for sure.

  • @EdgeLord-oz3vi
    @EdgeLord-oz3vi หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I love the fact that the mother spent her life making music only to be a failure and quit on for our character to bring it back and for her to be recognised

  • @snake2314
    @snake2314 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    It’s the fact that it doesn’t need to look real to feel real, the story telling is so good

  • @littlelunatic4336
    @littlelunatic4336 2 ปีที่แล้ว +759

    I am laying here in bed at nearly 2am, having watched this entire play through, crying and in complete awe at the game’s narrative. I was completely caught off-guard by the games ending. Even though I knew from the beginning it was about a person in the afterlife, I didn’t expect their story to be told in that way. Amazing. I have to wonder if the blinking gimmick adds or detracts from game experience.

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  2 ปีที่แล้ว +243

      On the blinking I think it works because after trying and struggling for the entire game to KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN and only blink when necessary, when you get to the end and he tells you to "close your eyes now", to basically, let go and pass on, and you're sat there with his voice and your eyes closed and the game ends, it is utterly moving and heartbreaking, very symbolic of this kid trying to stay alive and then finally accepting peace and closing his eyes. For that reason the novelty of the blinking/eyes open pays off perfectly.

    • @magiv4205
      @magiv4205 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      Same, I don't know what it is about watching sad things at 2am. On one hand, I feel like I really shouldn't spend my last minutes before sleeping to cry my eyes out. But on the other hand... when else in the day do you get the chance to release the tension like this? It feels like not just this game, but so much I've held in for so long is finally released.

    • @NotLonelySheep
      @NotLonelySheep 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I'm having the same experience right now.

    • @lilyanne2676
      @lilyanne2676 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It is 2.48 am here now

    • @finno2679
      @finno2679 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      it's 2:27 am right now this is too spot on

  • @-boxedmunchie-3377
    @-boxedmunchie-3377 3 ปีที่แล้ว +634

    Richard reminds me of Greg from Steven universe . He tries for his son a lot and cares for the mom a lot but doesn’t know how to deal with such serious things. The voice actors too sound super similar? I’m trying not to cry rn😂😭 thanks for this experience

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      You're welcome!

    • @cajuncoonass5053
      @cajuncoonass5053 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

      The dad is Griz from We Bare Bears I think

    • @Rigbone64
      @Rigbone64 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@cajuncoonass5053 you're right it is him, he also played Chad on Clarence

    • @TheDoge223
      @TheDoge223 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@cajuncoonass5053 Yes. The dad sounds exactly like Griz.

    • @jcoolguy1548
      @jcoolguy1548 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      True

  • @bestforme9727
    @bestforme9727 10 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Almost started crying when I saw that the gatekeeper took the form of a cat. I feel like it has a deeper meaning that I can’t explain in words but I can feel. I also noticed that Benny was eating and drinking his meal less and less everyday and the virus got bigger and louder.

  • @Ratigan2
    @Ratigan2 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +15

    I'm crying so hard right now because this resonates so much with what my uncle and aunt and our family are going through right now. They have an 8 year old son (also called Benjamin) who was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (Blood cancer) earlier this year. Because we live in a poor country and don't have good hospitals, his parents couldn't do much but ask for blood donations to keep him alive until his face started swelling and he became partially blind that they were forced to do a fundraiser and took him to a hospital in India where he is currently being treated. It's just so unfair for something like this to happen to a child and for the parents to also suffer heavily from it.

    • @Zaiden.
      @Zaiden. 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Thh 😂😂

    • @taylor3950
      @taylor3950 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I hope Benjamin has as much love during his life as possible

    • @something6833
      @something6833 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Is he doing better?

    • @Ratigan2
      @Ratigan2 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      ​@@something6833 He passed away last December... He was one week away from being discharged by the hospital but died from a sudden fever at night. All he wanted most was to see his home and friends one last time... I cannot express how much he is missed by our family and village. R.I.P Benjamin.

    • @something6833
      @something6833 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@Ratigan2 BENJAMIN NO!! My condolences!!!

  • @andreamackie13
    @andreamackie13 2 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    What I felt/got from this is to keep your eyes open to everything that’s going on around you because one day they’ll be closed forever. So powerful. I can’t stop crying. Everything is fine

    • @Cvickers619
      @Cvickers619 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      THIS COMMENT MAKES ME CRY

  • @Crane_feather
    @Crane_feather ปีที่แล้ว +358

    I read the comments while watching this and yet I still bawled my eyes out at the ending scene, jumping between the mother and the wolf reading. Amazing storytelling

    • @GoldRetriever
      @GoldRetriever 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I think the wolf is Anubis

    • @Crane_feather
      @Crane_feather 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@GoldRetriever I always thought Anubis had the head of a Jackal but I'm not sure ^_^

    • @cclyricsforjesus
      @cclyricsforjesus 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      @@GoldRetriever I honestly thought the wolf was a cat that could somehow bark and howl lol.

    • @xtamika
      @xtamika 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      @@cclyricsforjesussame, i thought he was just a cat that was a little bit crazy

  • @miniyoongles
    @miniyoongles 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    ive never cried this much from a game. how sentimental and amazing. such creative minds behind this.

  • @kinimae5425
    @kinimae5425 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    I'm two years late but hey, It hasn't felt so good crying in a long time... Maybe it's because for the first time in a long time I wasn't crying because someone died, or someone hit me, or I just felt like I couldn't fulfill my purpose. For the first time in years I cried just because I could... This was a truly amazing game, and your voice and just how you played it fit so perfectly. Honestly if I wanted I could have easily convinced myself you were just another actor in the game. Like a man who passed away and with one finally look at his life he slowly started to remember the mistakes he made. The moments he wished he spent more time on. The moments he wished he could have picked a different path. The moments he wished he just well... Didn't blink. Got to say for the first video I've ever seen from you it sure set a high expectation, and I can't wait to dive in and see just what else you've managed to do with your channel over the two years from when you uploaded this to now. I hope you have a great day MadMorph and thank you so much for just enhancing such an amazing experience 🥰

  • @Sadveneco
    @Sadveneco ปีที่แล้ว +432

    For some reason, I wasn't able able to cry for 3 entire years. Until today. And, I'm truly feeling relived because many tears I kept hidden, finally came out. I never expected this game to be the cause.
    As an artist trying to find themselves in this world, thanks for sharing.

    • @Duskxdawnx
      @Duskxdawnx ปีที่แล้ว +47

      Don't hide your tears, someone once said
      "If somebody cries, it doesn't mean they are weak, it means they have been strong for too long."

    • @thememeqween
      @thememeqween ปีที่แล้ว +13

      ⁠@@Duskxdawnxand sometimes people just haven’t been given the chance to cry without someone telling them off. But your comment makes sense too. (sorry if I’m coming off as rude, I just wanna try and understand the different angles as to why you may be going a long time without crying.)

    • @hungryhikaru
      @hungryhikaru 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

      I am just like you too , i stopped crying for years, and I wasn't able to cry even if i wanted too. I can cry every so often now but not to the point of sobbing. This game really made e cry my eyeballs out, finally relieved to somehow let the tears out, i am still sad.

    • @zae2193
      @zae2193 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I agree with this comment, in the fact, sometimes we can't cry.
      And like thememeqween said, you can't cry given the chance you can't without being ridiculed.
      Sometimes you have to. And this is coming from someone who's bottled up so much stuff. Many people, and i would consider myself one of these people to not like to show our true emotions. Maybe to the rare few, like close friends, close family members, potentially your parents, you'd show them.
      But the more you bottle it up, the more you slowly break down. I know this.

    • @Travybear1989
      @Travybear1989 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Eat a carolina reaper pepper and I can guarantee you will cry.

  • @AustinNotAustin
    @AustinNotAustin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +453

    I was a pediatric nurse for a few years in the Army. I've had many a chemo patients. I've lost quite a few too. This hit me like a train dude. I watched it holding my son in my arms sobbing like a baby.
    Those little details like the slow loss of appetite, followed by the PCA pump (his medicine button), and that ever growing inevitable death slowing encroaching upon him, really put me in the perspective of my lost patients. Their hopes and dreams, never to be fulfilled, weighed on them as they began to understand and accept their own death. They only have/had in life what we, their parents and friends, give them at that young of age.
    I would always tell my dying patients how happy I was to see them everyday, and spend time talking with them. I hope that helped, even if only a little bit.

    • @phasein5413
      @phasein5413 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Thanks. It's hard to be in medicine.

  • @_g0r3c0r3
    @_g0r3c0r3 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    at the beginning of the video i was not able to keep my eyes open.. But as the story progressed and the sad scenes came my eyes became completely teary and no longer dry so I no longer needed to blink and it became easy.. The story of the game is just.. AMAZING and has many very precise details.. and they depicted chronic pain in the best way ever..the only right way literally.. Thank you to whoever created this masterpiece

  • @daxterthefox
    @daxterthefox ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I thought "Yeah sure I'm never gonna cry while watching this video" until I got to the end part and actually shed some tears. Broke my heart

  • @pythonesque-
    @pythonesque- 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1120

    I tried playing along and not blinking to see if I could beat you, and my god you won every time sir! You're a freak 😂
    This was such an amazing game.. the twists and story honestly were phenomenal. Really puts into perspective how special life is ❤

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +127

      Yesss, such a meaningful message on this one, very beautiful and moving and tragic but special

    • @NiaJustNia
      @NiaJustNia 2 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      @@MadMorph Try this game again, or one with a similar mechanic, but wear those "I'm awake" glasses that have open eyes printed on them lol

    • @Broken_TilesMAIN
      @Broken_TilesMAIN 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@MadMorph yeah

    • @kittieshauntedourfantasy
      @kittieshauntedourfantasy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@NiaJustNia YESSSS

  • @jesssully123
    @jesssully123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +287

    I cried... It was so well written

    • @MadMorph
      @MadMorph  3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      yessss, and so beautifully voice acted 😭

  • @denkaes5844
    @denkaes5844 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    This + your voiceover was an emotional rollercoaster I haven't had for years. Wow what a great game

  • @1ndiebird
    @1ndiebird 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Your voice, your honesty, compassion, mixed with my thoughts that bubbled, let my emotions run. Thank you for cutting my reins.

  • @Kimaesthetics
    @Kimaesthetics 2 ปีที่แล้ว +321

    Ah.. a game that dries your eyes out, then reverses it by making you cry.
    I'm ugly sobbing over this, the differences between the two stories hit me like a bullet. (For the past 2 years I've dealt with a chronic condition that left me basically bedridden for nearly a year straight, and as far as I'm concerned has caused me to abandon what I dreamt my life would be. And while I've adapted and fought to overcome things as best I could, it still effects me.) The developers of this game have made something truly unique and beautiful (albeit heartbreaking)
    Also the subtle details and connections are damn amazing wtf

  • @RedBroski
    @RedBroski 2 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    I.... This had me full on sobbing. I never expected this to hit home. When I was diagnosed with my health issues, and had to leave my whole life behind.. Indoors, bedridden, in pain, I thought my whole life was over forever. I thought I would die. I thought I was useless. I imagined what my life could have been.. Just cried myself to sleep every night. Alone.. And yet here I am.. I'm slowly recovering and trying to pick back up where I left off. I feel like I'm still a kid. Just a kid trapped in an adult's body. I missed out on so much.. I feel like I lost almost everything. I didn't realize how much of this emotional pain was still trapped inside of me.
    I'm so glad I decided to watch all of this. I'm thankful for the creators of this game. I feel...heard. Like I can grieve alongside this boy.
    And sadly, it really does happen where your family is angry with you. Your friends leave, people think you're faking, they don't want you to be sick, but they take it out on you, as if this is all your fault. And you have to know that in a way it is. Your very existence makes them miserable. And there's nothing you can do. If you push yourself, they will be happy, but you will be suffering.
    The doctors tell you all the things you should avoid, but there comes a time when the emotional pain outweighs the physical, and you just don't care anymore. You're willing to go through whatever it takes just to feel alive again.

    • @tee630
      @tee630 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I read your comment, i hope you know that youre doing a really great job and im proud of you for existing!!

    • @thecousindeci1103
      @thecousindeci1103 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      This comment hits too close to home especially the family part and the kid in an adults body. I honestly thought I was alone experiencing this. Its so hard I always feel like I need to be better because my family can't accept that I have an invisible illness, it feels like ive done something horrible to them just by being alive.

    • @unpersonalizedperson
      @unpersonalizedperson 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Nothing higher than family's expectations for you. How pathetic when they put you so much expectations but you know you're not be able to fulfill those no matter how hard you've tried.
      I have some physical condition where I can't be like normal people, but at the same time, I can't be categorised as an abnormal either.
      All my life has been half and half. Nothing stands out more and all is equivalent. This made me wonder... What am I? What I want to do in this miserable life? What is my function for this world? Seems like nothingness.
      It's not a rare things that suicidal thoughts keeps on coming to my head. I often wanted to self harm when I saw sharp objects like scissors and knife. Even a needle. But reminding that suicide is the most hated things in my religion, I refuse to do that and stay alive even though I'm suffering

    • @gaiusfulmen
      @gaiusfulmen ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope you're OK, and I hope you aren't hard on yourself for all of this, because (should go without saying but I'll say it anyway) none of it is your fault. Feeling like you missed out on life sucks. But while we live there is always another chance. For example, I know many adults who don't conform to the "adult" stereotype. People are people, and being different is not uncommon. Please don't feel bad about yourself just because you've had it harder than most.
      Anyway I am glad to hear you're making progress! I wish and pray only the best for you.

    • @culturedmaniac2415
      @culturedmaniac2415 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bro I am not reading allat 🤦‍♂️⁉️💀

  • @vivianjohnson8835
    @vivianjohnson8835 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I saw this and cried it’s so sad that a 12 year old boy died because of a terminal illness and didn’t get to live the life he wanted it shows you how cruel this world can be and how the world doesn’t care who you are…

  • @iluvsomebananamilks3367
    @iluvsomebananamilks3367 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Time is gone in a blink. The more we try to resist blinking the more we do to catch up to moisturize our eyes. Then, we lose the moment instead of living in the presence.

  • @idontknowwhatmyusernamesho1877
    @idontknowwhatmyusernamesho1877 2 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    The “wHerEs mY cAt?!” In the middle of playing the piano was iconic 😂

  • @Skullzi
    @Skullzi ปีที่แล้ว +77

    "We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light."

  • @Xandrosis
    @Xandrosis ปีที่แล้ว +5

    10 minutes passed since you finish the game and I'm still crying. I have a good imagination and I can easily place myself in the shoes of others. I'm placing myself in the shoes of Benny and I can feel the anger and the fulfillment of his soul right after her mom read his own history trough her eyes. It's a powerful feeling and I'm writing this with tears in my eyes still.. this feeling lingers, I have to play it myself.

  • @superarcherg5320
    @superarcherg5320 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    That did numbers on me.. Having had my dog pass in my arms for similar reasons just 3 days ago.. this really made me cry. Thank you

  • @Lady_de_Lis
    @Lady_de_Lis 2 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    I teared up when he played his mom's song again.
    And I fully cried at his mom's retelling of his story.
    Very beautiful story. So well done.
    Also the foreshadowing with the death of the kittens...

    • @nsejita
      @nsejita ปีที่แล้ว

      This! But the second time playing, he had machines hooked up and IV's and stuff beeping along.... so effin sad!

  • @maia1576
    @maia1576 2 ปีที่แล้ว +102

    This game really shows how life goes by in the blink of an eye, and even if you try to hold on to the moment, you have to let it go at some point.
    There were plenty more messages hidden within the story, but the gameplay itself being made through blinking really hit hard.

  • @macywilliams7262
    @macywilliams7262 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I am going through a horribly difficult time in my already difficult life. It's so complicated right now that I can't understand it, there is so much left undone, undefined, and unsaid at the moment. I can't wrap my head around how hard it is hitting me and I can't cry about it. But. This had me bawling. I let it out for Benny. His mom, his life, his gal pal, for everything and everyone.. and finally for myself when I couldn't find empathy for my own sense of self. This was a help, thank you for posting.

  • @DJ_JosieSeverance
    @DJ_JosieSeverance ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The ending where they said he'd lived a full life even though he died young hit me hard

  • @KikiDiki
    @KikiDiki ปีที่แล้ว +125

    I've gotten really good at not crying. When I sense sadness coming in a story, I harden right up and brace myself. This one got me even though I was bracing for impact.

  • @damienreed4021
    @damienreed4021 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    This was so sad, I cried so many times. Thank you so much for posting this, such a beautiful game

  • @ashumsmashum
    @ashumsmashum 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I loved going through this with you! You have the sweetest reactions and voice! Thank you for sharing!

  • @dec0mposiex
    @dec0mposiex 2 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    that very last moment, where his mom says “he must be somewhere that he likes” just totally broke me

  • @kylepedraza7726
    @kylepedraza7726 2 ปีที่แล้ว +145

    I held it together for the entire thing. Except when i got to the end. When the boatman begins to interchange with the mom and together they tell the story. Even the fact that the gatekeeper came back as a cat hit me ....Such a great freaking video. You just earned a subscriber.

  • @dtv12574
    @dtv12574 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ended in tears! Great Job!
    I am glad I got to see you play this game!

  • @joshpunke9536
    @joshpunke9536 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I know this is two years past the time of posting your play through, but I remember watching someone play through this a while back, but it hits me so much harder now… I lost my son a few months ago, my firstborn. He didn’t even live close to 11 years like in the game…. He only lived 90 min. And this game has touched me in such a different way, and I am so glad that I got to experience your very tranquil play through of this game. Thank you for what you do. It has meant the world to me. There have been a lot of emotions that I have not been able to process surrounding the death of my son, and this video has helped me to process some of the emotions that I’ve been trying to put to terms. You don’t really know the impact you have as a content creator, and most times you never do. But I want to personally thank you for this video. ❤ it means the whole world to me.

  • @NotaArtist
    @NotaArtist ปีที่แล้ว +128

    this game hits so hard. ive never been physically sick that bad but ive been mentally sick to the point where i thought it would kill me. i never thought id make it past seventeen, and at the end of the month ill be twenty. my heart goes out to all the young people weve lost to disease and suffering. you had those who loved you.
    and if your still here. you deserve to be. things can and will be okay in time. it will be okay.

    • @aurelej7927
      @aurelej7927 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This playthrough is so heartbreaking and healing at the same time, I truly feel you
      The thought of having no future, no second chance is crushing and the fact that Benny's eleven and I was the same age feeling something similar - it's so hard for me especially regarding how young he is. For everybody watching this, very probably. But I'm not so far from childhood myself, turning 20 soon and never thought I'd grow past sixteen or so. Every month felt like my last. It hurts so much seeing someone else feel this. Watching a child feel so helpless and being powerless while he eats fewer and fewer bits of his sandwiches everyday, not even able to grab his pills. That hurt so much.

    • @aurelej7927
      @aurelej7927 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Even after starting to feel better, being unable to picture myself getting help and actually improving nearly killed me. It felt like all the imaginary deadlines and ultimatums I had for myself came to an end all at the same time, when I approached my 19th birthday. And I couldn't wrap my head around that very idea, I panicked very hard and attempted su/cide. It obviously didn't work and I'm so so thankful for that, now everything is getting better for me and watching this playthrough made me realize how much a second chance is worth. I want to live so long, and do so many things, feel all of the emotions, good and bad. I want to live, even a boring and stupid life. I have got a chance at getting peace, and I want to have the power to give the same chance to Benny so hard.

    • @aurelej7927
      @aurelej7927 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      It's difficult to accept that not everyone gets a second (and beyond) chance, when it's basically the only thing everybody deserves in my opinion
      What is there in this world that's more human than getting shots at making things better?
      Being so happy and sad at the same time, that's hard
      So hard that I commented for the first time under a TH-cam video

    • @NotaArtist
      @NotaArtist ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@aurelej7927 wishing you a happy early birthday friend. I'm glad you made it through. Cause you deserve it. :) Not knowing your future can be really scary. And I really hope in time things start to be more on your side. It can be really distressing not knowing where your going. But please give yourself credit for keeping going so long. Believe me I know how hard it can be sometimes. And my life's still far from perfect. But it does get better. :)). You just need to give it time. I'm proud of you for still sticking around and for making it farther then you ever thought possible!

    • @NotaArtist
      @NotaArtist ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@aurelej7927 I feel this so damn hard. It's been so up and down for me especially the past few years. I have improved but I still struggle so hard sometimes and it's immensely frustrating. If it helps your healing is your own. And so long as you have improvement no matter how big or small is what matters. It is really hard to guage your own improvement cause you are in your head all the time. And I can Guarantee that most of the time when your feeling inadequate about your own change taking a second to write down or list all the ways you have improved or are doing better can be immensely helpful. I know that's helped me.
      You deserve that second chance and a chance at peace. And I really do hope in time you can achieve that more and more so