How to Deal with Isolation
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ย. 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy
MY BOOKS (in stores now)
Traumatized geni.us/Bfak0j
Are u ok? bit.ly/2s0mULy
ONLINE THERAPY
While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist, please visit: betterhelp.com...
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @katimorton
PATREON www.katimorton...
YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS
Instacart: www.instacart....
Amazon: www.amazon.com...
PARTNERSHIP
Linnea Toney linnea@underscoretalent.com
PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.
![[TH] 2024 PMSL SEA Finals D1 | Fall | ยิงต้องโหด ให้เหมือนโกรธกันมาก่อน](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OnTdfGySmds/mqdefault.jpg)
![🎤 จับฉลากร้องเพลง x P’ #XXSIVK [EP.1] (2/2) เพื่อนจับได้คำไหน..ต้องร้องคำนั้น เริ่ม! 💓🎶 #MXFRUIT](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1bJvMJXmeS4/mqdefault.jpg)
When i was really depressed I started with a small goal, that I would take a shower every other day. If I was showered I could get out and face the world. That enabled me to get out. My next goal was to give up sugar, then exercise. It enabled me to lose 70 lbs. It all started with a small goal.
MsRotorwings I am proud of you
I feel completely isolated even when I’m with others.
Sometimes I feel even more isolated when in a crowd or with others. I can be myself when it's just me. UNFORTUNATELY.
@@homoerotic85 me too😁
That’s why you gotta find someone who functions on the same pace and frequency as you. I am also at the stage where I don’t just seek pointless social interactions, I think this is a dilemma about being loveless, I haven’t talked to my best friend in months and also don’t have a girlfriend, but I have a shit ton of activities and hobbies to expend my energy on, but humans are social creatures, no matter how much I achieve in a day and how much new people I meet, I still feel like total shit when I go to bed at night and when I wake up.
It's sad
All I have is the internet. I am completely alone. I am surrounded by narcs and people who don't invite me anywhere. I got sick of always inviting them, planning things etc. Anyway I am in therapy now....
thats one of the reasons i ditched all my friends from hs. Id invite or have a get together idea and i would be excluded/lagged....Hope therapy does wonders for u stranger 👍
me too,no family no friends. its really hard.the friends it tried to make were in a clique and discluded me.even at church I was going to.I tried to sit w a group for a coffee get together and was told it was for the Sunday school members.uugh.I'm 51 and it feels impossible to make one single friend.:(
The internet is my friend
@@YanksandBritsProductions Where abouts in England are you from?
@@YanksandBritsProductions None taken! I'm from Essex so it's a compliment 😂
I made those videos last year, trying to get back into it.
The best thing I ever did was get a dog. I walk her because I don't have a fenced-in yard. This helps so much mentally because of the sunlight, the nonstressful exercise, and talking to people. It's a joy. Especially because I have a pug - they are so lazy. They want to sleep and lie around and only need one or two long walks a day. That is my style too! And they hate bad weather - hey, me too! So we just dash out and back in when it's raining or snowing.
Jori Church yeah having a dog would be beneficial for me too. But I can't have it now
l wish my dog was lazy.i pushed myself to go to the park and all these people were smiling at my little Chihuahua. A week later there were only a quarter of the people and I was kinda disappointed .And I found a painted rock on a pole.It had a big smile and it said "A hundred smiles".imagine that ..only God can plan that!. I made a new friend. my first in almost a year,because I don't put up with jerks,but he seems cool.we are going to a concert in Nov my only second outing in 2018.God bless you all and 100 smiles!!
me too jori church... i have a dog (about 6 mos. now) and i feel so much calmer and feel like i have something to be happy about...
Who else is watching during quarantine?
You have hit the nail on the head Social Media is one of the major problems of isolation.
I've lost so many friends in the last 3 years and haven't made any new ones in the same time span. I feel really independent a lot but I don't know how to make friends my age. Everybody wants to go to the bar or casino and that's just not me. I've had aquaintences but that's really all. And I agree, social media has basically driven everything the wrong way. I hardly use it anymore because I want people to come at me first so I know who is real and who isn't.
You want people to come at you first? People come at you after you come at them
''I feel really independent'' Are you sure or is it just a coping skill? Everyone needs to have people around them. What are you afraid of if you become dependant?
''I don't know how to make friends my age'' Why? Why are you more likely to be friends with people not your age and what's wrong with that? I'm not saying there's something wrong with it.
''Everybody wants to go to the bar or casino and that's just not me'' No not everyone. I don't know how that's related to your problem of losing friends?
''I've had aquaintences but that's really all.'' When did that started and why?
''social media has basically driven everything the wrong way'' If social media is against you you can reverse it and use social media for you.
''I hardly use it anymore because I want people to come at me first'' If you don't come to people first you won't have any friends/boyfriend/girlfriend.
''so I know who is real and who isn't'' If you talk about people who create false account then just stop going on those sites. After a certain time you're supposed to meet people in real life. Or if you talk about people who looks kind at first and then betray you then I'd say you won't ever know what that person is really like until you get to know them.
There was so much wrong things in this comment I had to do it. Because it got 38 likes
im very lucky to receive intensive home treatment and if i haven't left the house for a week one of my outreach workers starts me off slowly by just getting in the car with her and going for a drive on country roads for like an hour and listening to music,talking or even getting a coffee from drive thru and i find thats a really good start as the car feels like protection xxx
Erin Louise Okay I'm sure that it's our fear of meeting actual people who are in the same boat of a rut from bad relationships in our youth, therefore we are not as open with a newer set of friends out in the open, if you agree to a certain extent than I can relate wholeheartedly supporting you and others on this type of social awareness problem, thanks!
this is fine and all for people who are socially isolated, I'm socially and physically isolated. I live an hour away from civilization so... halp
I've the same problem. I've been just waiting for the time when I can move to a city. I know how you feel - you want to see humans and go out, but you see only trees and grass and fields... it kills from the inside.
I've been dealing with this for years and I can finally say I am moving forward. What helped me is free. I started doing ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families). There are phone meetings on the adult children (.) org site. Good luck
This is my problem too!
This is so me! I've been living in a village for a while, it gets so depressing lol
I'm in much the same position. I almost never see anyone where I live. As a means of trying to combat the loneliness, I've been building an application for amateur musicians like me to form virtual chamber music groups. It's not the same thing as being physically around people, but it is fun and gives me something to look forward to and work on. If anyone reading this finds the idea interesting, let me know. One of the few benefits of isolated living is that I don't bother people when I make a lot of noise. :-)
I have joined groups with similar hobbies (choir, bike riding, etc.) to get me out of the house. Not only have I made friends but I have less time to be alone with myself (and my thoughts) and I spend less time dwelling and being negative!!! :) Congrats on +20K followers by the way! I'm happy to see the community growing!
yeah! I do that too! I have joined Meetup groups in my area to keep myself less isolated! its a great idea!
I should really start doing meetup groups or just take up more social activities. Thanks for posting this!
Angely Mercado I agree, they have some great ideas, I have thought about trying to do that as well, but my problem comes in when I feel like I'm doing these things at least in part for a social interaction, is that wrong? Is it an addiction to want social attention? but thinking about it now I realize if I'm not hurting someone or myself to have the interaction then it is not an addiction, but to me it's a scary road to go down, I don't want to be one of those people who are total attention addicts, but if I make sure to not get mad when I don't get attention and keep giving it regardless of if I get it I feel I might be doing something moral while also getting a thing I think everyone needs, I mean shit, what is the point of living life if there's no one to live it with.
Same here. Last year, I got a part in a college play and some of my cast members and I clicked. They treated me more like a sister than my real sisters did.
Thomas Elliott I think it really depends on every individual...it sounds like you're already at least being aware and mindful of your behaviors and wants, which is honestly a really healthy skill that so many people seem to not consider... So even just being mindful sounds like you're on the path towards happy/healthy/balanced...
Personally, I used to never be able to stand being alone, for ANY AMOUNT of time... I think a lot of that being due to my life prior to college, I literally, legit, was nearly never alone, because I have a very social brother with moderate-severe special needs who would crave my attention so regularly that he even followed me into the bathroom, etc (I'm glad that my relationship with my brother has since become much healthier, and we've been able to be more friends vs me being the caregiver, though he still does require assistance in many areas, it's just a much better situation)... But anyways, I was pretty much either at school where you're not alone lol, or at home, and when I was at home I wasn't alone, so I got to college and would just sob when my roomie wasn't there for the night or whatnot, just because I didn't know how to handle being alone.
That was many years ago, but it's easier for me now, significantly... Honestly I think having a dog is the main reason it's easier, it's just nice to have another living creature in the house with me, and I really SO GLAD I have my dogs, cause no matter how low I get sometimes, I know they need me, and there's so many other reasons I know that it's worth continuing to work through a lot of emotions, and I feel like I'm nearly constantly perfectly great and also just a moment away from feeling like the world is ending... And it's gotten better, and I'm learning to accept myself as I am (while continuing to work on myself), vs just getting mad at myself for "having issues" etc.
Sorry, I'm having trouble with focus, but my main point was just that it's not nessecarily bad to want to be around people a lot... Everyone seems to fall somewhere on a spectrum, so some people are SUPER extroverted, and some are super introverted, and for me, I know that my current situation (living alone, other than dogs, and over an hour away from my nearest friend) isn't the healthiest for me, because being around and interacting with people recharges me and helps me feel happier... I'm ok with being alone now, though. It's actually something that it took me a long while to come to appriciate, but there's some times when it's SUPER NICE to have time to myself without having to interact with others. But seeing one friend once a week is too little social interaction for me, so I'm going to try and get involved in more social activities to keep me balanced and able to recharge by getting my social fill ;)
I guess it's mostly about why you feel the need to be around others, I guess just check in with yourself and pay attention to if you are ok with being alone, or is it a fear of being alone with yourself?
Hope things have been well for you and everyone else! :)
The problem is not that anyone is isolated, but the way addicts and narcissists are thriving socially at the expense of vulnerable people, thereby isolating them. You can't make friends with people who don't want to befriend you, and meeting random strangers puts vulnerable people at high risk for meeting narcissistic social predators (criminals notwithstanding). Healthy, emotionally available people are rapidly becoming a minority, so it's going to be hard for them. The bright side is all the time to create, exercise and eat healthy, no messy divorce, no alimony, and not having to bail your teenager, who hates you, out of jail. You may be alone, and you may be broke, but you are free, and in good company, my fellow loners :)
Sean Mitchell what happened?
Bikewithlove I love it 😀
I have been dealing with social anxiety and depression for about 4 years now and it has been tough. About a year ago i became really isolated and just recently tried to set goals for myself. I've completed small goals that i have set for myself. A tip that i like to do is to mentally prepare myself for the trip i will be making, then when im in the shower i pump myself up to prepare for whatever is ahead. I find that checking in with myself is really important because ultimately if i have already had a bad day then it won't be a pleasure experience for me if i do decide to go somewhere. so i postpone until i feel a little better, either later on in the day or just for the following day. But i do think it's important to have some sort of interaction with another person. Btw this is a great video! :)
I only leave my house at night due to severe anxiety. I'm trying to break it, but it just seems too damn hard
I do the same thing . people are mean to others now days .it's really sad .good thing I have family.
I've had anxiety when I was young. Now it's okay. But the way I got over it.. Is that everytime I felt anxiety, I stoped and asked myself what is the thought that created anxiety. (sometimes it's hard to find it) Then I tried to change this thought for something more positive. And I did that for each thought. You can even note them it'll help you remember. I had the lowest self-estime in the world and now it's very different. I went out of depression with that technique.
Also lots of my insecurities took it's roots in my childhood because of my mother. The way your mother acted with you is sometimes the way you act with yourself. For exemple, my mother wanted me to be perfect so she could feel perfect, but that ended that I have difficulties with making mistakes and I feel like everyone is perfect except me (that was uncouncious)
Yes I still have trouble with some beliefs I have, but I'm very positive and I don't struggle at all with what I struggled with when I was younger.
I wish you well
I am feeling extreme loneliness and depression. Someone please help. I am going into a dangerous mental state.
The loneliness and depression is too severe to be alone by myself. I desperately need at least some meaningful contact with people throughout the day.
Don't feel bad Jon I don't know how long you have been stuck here in Lonely town but I have been in Phoenix for 20 years due to the huge quake in Los Angeles and I still don't feel at home and am alone 95% of the time. My social existence has become the net but not by choice. I have a smartphone and it has pretty well become my survival. It is extremely rare that I see or hear from another human. Yes I agree Loneliness is a killer so I try to stay busy to take my mind away from the painful real world. Hang in . I don't know why it is so damn hard to break into this city but this is a huge first. Am a military kid and have lived all over and this is a huge first.
I hope you made it though the holidays OK. i basically cancelled them in October. Would talk now but i am trying to get three jobs done at the moment. Take care. Will chat soon. I am very happy that they are finally over with. Now we have to survive the transition in Washington
Jon W how are you now Jon, I hope you got some help and or activities to fill the days so you can have that contact with other people.
hey Jon, ever considerd to change eating habbits to a healthier habbit? more veggis helped me and made me feel better all over
Hey guys! I have problems with isolation and what I do is "socialize w/o socializing". I take my dog to our local park (15 min walk) and sit in the shade and watch the adults play with their children. I don't interact unless people come to me, which is usually small talk about my dog. I hope this helps!
Hej Katie! I've struggled with isolation for a really long period of time, due to PTSD and severe dissociation. Since I've moved out and onto my own I pick a weekend to go and relax at my local tea bar. I also prioritise concerts.
We need this during the social isolation, thank you Kati!
THANK YOU for discussing this topic! Sometimes I go a month or more without leaving the house and then when I do I get extremely anxious about it. And this is excellent timing because I'm currently debating meeting up with an old friend tomorrow and also planning on going to visit my best friend in Saint Louis next week. I'm super anxious about both so this literally could not have come at a better time. :D
I used to think that I didn't need people, but I found out that isn't so. I live in an assisted living center for the mentally ill , so I have some enforced socialization. Some of the worst times in my life have been when I was the most isolated. I need to rub elbows with people. Total isolation was rough.
I've struggled heavily with this. It's been about two years since I've seen other people regularly (high school) and an entire year since I've seen one of my friends. The only people I have contact with are my family. I work from home and rarely leave the house all week. I've tried to push myself to go to church on Sunday with my family but it all seems very overwhelming. I'm just tired of being depressed and I'd really appreciate some advice on how I can take back my life.
celi707 what is your job? Cause I might want to work from home
celi707 is
thank you for saying i can always just stop and go back home, i feel a lot of guilt about not being able to finish things and i have to constantly remind myself that starting, attempting in itself, it's progress too
This is so hard when you have anxiety, and the world is telling you that you’re evil if you leave your house.
I find your advice taking small incremental steps to go out helpful and enlightening. Your energy and enthusiasm is infectious. Thanks for sharing.
Today was my birthday. I could have stayed at my apartment and played video games, but instead I made plans and I got out. Isolationism is all in your head. If you allow your depression or anxiety or whatever voice tell you not to go out, then you are losing the fight. However, you have not lost the war. If at first you don't succeed try try again. Like Kati always says fake it till you make it. Isolationism is all in our heads. Be brave, tell your negative voices to fuck off, because you deserve to be happy and healthy. :D XOX
happy birthday
Kudos to you :). You're right, the fight is in your minds, but some days it's just tough. But stories like these show that it can be beaten and give me hope :D.
breadlebees You go! Thanks
I want to go out but when it comes to it can't bring myself to go
Oh, I so get your comment about social media or in my case technology. I have depression and I find that I text many people and know that texting isn't really interacting with people. I am still very isolated. So I have a goal to go out with a friend once a week. I have another goal to get into nature and sit, walk, hike or bike outside. My other goal is to go to my favorite coffee shop to do work instead of staying at home. That has been so helpful. I have 3-weeks of feeling good because of it. Thanks Kati for all of your videos.
You're a very positive person Kati, keep sharing that around and getting those kind words out to everyone who needs it. :)
I joined a workshop last week. I already know about the workshop i just wanted to meet new people. I didn't really interact well but i am glad i did attend and not bail out
I've often found that going to the movies by myself is really encouraging. I mean I'm in a big room with other people enjoying a film. Sometimes I laugh at something and I'll get other people to laugh with me. And it feels like I'm a part of something. Another thing that's really nice is going to a public library and just reading a book or being on the computer and I'm technically by myself, however I'm surrounded by other people that are doing other things. And sometimes I'll even chat with a librarian and ask questions about stuff. There's always something you can do. And being alone isn't necessarily a negative thing in my opinion. It can be a very powerful and enlightening thing if you focus on the good. Rather than the negative aspects of it.😊🙏
Thank you so much for this, I hope you touch on this topic more as it is something I struggle with a lot. Dealing with depression and bdd makes going out torturous but after seeing this video I am going to implement small/big goals for myself and gradually start working on getting myself better :) Your amazing as always xx
Kaiti and a related topic from 5 years ago! Who is watching this during corona virus epidemic ?
This is a really nice channel, thanks for posting this content.
Kati, what do you think about doing a TH-cam video on how to deal with the psychological side effects of the "Social Isolation" associated with the mandates of public health departments to combat the Corona-virus!
I joined a yoga studio in February and have been going almost every day. It's the most interaction I have had with people in years. I love it, and I'm actually getting good at something as well.
Making myself accountable through to being honest with my best friend has helped a lot. She saw through my false excuses to cancel on meetings and pushed me to go out anyways. Also my therapist emphasizing the importance of socializing has helped a lot!
I've been isolated basically whole my childhood. I have noticed real problems with my social skills.
It was a bih thing when I went to a shop on my own in high school. I don't know how to be with people and struggle understanding what friendship means.
Hi Rose.
Right now, I am working on being patient and present throughout my life circumstances. I like to think that I am mostly extroverted and pretty outgoing. I had a lot of friends in my middle school, but I eventually started to feel depressed and got on meds and then started to isolate myself. I was bullied and felt a lot of disappointment, hurt, and rejection when I was in high school. I ended up not being assigned with a roommate in college, and I felt even pretty alone. I wasn't as isolated in college as I was in college, but again, college was another experience of feeling deflated expectations. My college was very small, and there wasn't a lot of activities. I've been a college grad for almost a year. Sometimes I work crazy hours at work and feel so sucked into my job, but my therapist encouraged me to make time for people. So I joined a community group that some of my college grads started, a Bible study, and a church. I try to go to each event every week. Even if I don't know anyone, I try to be present and listen to conversations. I try to stay for at least an hour. Through my community group, someone invited me to their Bible Study. And sometimes I talk to people throughout the week. It's all a process, but that's what worked for me. All it took was open expectations and being present.
I really like the idea of aiming for 3 days a week instead of every single day. I always aim too high and then feel like it's pointless and then quit and feel like a loser. This is such a good idea and i can adapt it to all kinds of stuff. Thank yoooooooou!!!
When my back went out about 15 years ago, that was a time I can pinpoint and watch friends slowly dropping off. It wasn't always my back, but also my financial situation and topping it off with a slew of mental health disorders. Chronic pain and evolving conditions (physical) have not done me any favors. It starts out with people inviting me here or there and I either can't go because I'm broke, hurting, or depressed. Slowly, the invites stopped coming. At least I had work for social interaction. Now, I am on disability. I own a home which allows me to have my pets (which are lifesavers), but I only leave the house maybe 2-3 times a month, usually for doctor visits or groceries. Yesterday was the first time I've left in about 3 weeks. I had to go borrow money from a friend to pay a bill. My gas light came on heading home. See, I like to go out and have fun and socialize, but now poverty is really kicking my ass. I don't even have gas most of the time. I had a couple friends that would pick me up and we'd go hiking, walking, etc. I have a huge tendency to become out of sight out of mind when they find a partner. They might think it's "just walking", but to me it's a sense of normalcy, sanity. I've tried explaining, but they still choose the guys. I'll get a "like" or a short convo on social media. I've been on online dating for far too many years. I know I am so much more negative and pessimistic towards a lot of people. I try my hardest to refresh myself and refocus. I mean, I am pretty much a 39 yr old shut-in. How can you fix that? Winter is not helping matters at the moment. My neighbors might text or call but it's more of a joking manner - "you ever gonna leave that house?". It hurts. And honestly, my house costs about the same as an apartment and being able to have my pets and have something that's mine is about the only positive thing about it. Garden therapy helps, but it hurts me alot, but it's rewarding in the end. Sorry this is a novella!
Oh! Sorry, this was my first video of yours. I didn't realize I could go to your website! :o)
Isolation has really taken its toll on me. It’s been this way all my life. Having a mom/sister that doesn’t see you as competition to destroy is foreign to me. Whenever I do attempt to make friends, I’m never accepted. All I can do is go to my writing groups once a week.
This has been very helpful ~ thank you ♥️
Recently I've learned to not beat myself for not being able to do things and instead to celebrate and be proud of even the smallest achievements. For example, I managed to go ask my teacher a question about the assignments I need to do over summer and I was very proud of myself for accomplishing that because it was out of my comfort zone. Later that day, I was able to go out to lunch with a group of old friends and new people at a restaurant I'd never been to before. It made me anxious, but I pushed through and allowed myself to have a good time which is a major improvement for me.
I practice being transparent to more people. I tell them the truth not half a truth and not a lie and not an exaggerated truth
Kati, your videos help so much, please never stop doing them.
GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOREVER!!!! 😄🙏🙏🙃😁🙃🙏
I'm isolating from my internet friends too
My small step was attending a small home group at a friend's house with 4 or 5 people from church one a week, and even that can be very difficult. Now I go to the park as much as possible and read or walk, or even just sit in silence and people watch.
One of the thing its helping me is.....when we understand how isolation is making our life miserable, we start changing ourselves. When we isolate ourselves from society, it feels all people are bad and negative but if you waana change your life or want to be happy then you have to see people positively. Isolation is very dangerous....dont do it!!!
This is a really good video. I broke my ankle 7 weeks ago, and have basically been alone in the house for nearly the whole time (except in the evening when my partner comes home). I'm really nervous about getting out and about in the real world again, I feel so "safe" at home.
Thank you very much for this information never heard this word before isolation I no what to do now with my daily life thanks again
hi. i like your videos. i have paranoid schizophrenia, and yes, isolation is a huge issue with me. i haven't watched all of your videos, but maybe (if you haven't already) you could make a video on doing things that make us feel good about ourselves. like because i dont work (because of my illness) just taking care of normal day to day acitivities can make me feel really good. like today i vacume cleaned, and it doesn't seem like much, but it gave a huge boost to how i feel :) anyways, you're videos ROCK! you really seem like someone who cares!
I love it when you make your videos out in nature!!!
If I find myself isolating, mostly in the winter because of S.A.D instead of going through the drive through to get my coffee, I walk in, knowing that you are leaving right away makes me feel more comfortable. Also don't going during peak hours.
This is a great channel it's nice that professionals do things like this.
I live in a new town and I'm realizing its a lot harder to find friends without school or a different communal place to go (that you have to go). When its up to me, I tend to stay in my apartment all day. I've recently tried to push myself, though, because its developed into a depression and actually contributes to my anxiety. I pushed myself to go sunbath today by my apartment pool and start yoga classes down the street. Its hard and very scary starting conversations with others, I deff get down on myself when I "fail" at the conversation (in my eyes) but I feel more confident and self sufficient. I don't only rely on my boyfriend and family as a social outlet and that feels nice. I'm not exactly what I do to push myself. I guess I kinda just say "just go" and push through the uncomfortable feelings. I have a tendency to push myself which can be good and bad. Good in this instance.
Thank you Kati for this video. I just recently discovered your videos, and they have been wonderfully helpful in supplementing things I already am learning in CBT therapy. I couldn't agree with you more, when you say to start out with small goals, and work my way up. Initially, I had avoided making an effort to make new friendships, or meet new people, but I have learned to take small steps and take a chance. :)
As I get older I don't need as much company, but I still have to make myself get out at times. I enjoyed those times more than I thought I would.
I'm searching for help because of the coronavirus. I want to help my frightened neighbors. They have all become so isolated. Breaks my heart to see them peering out their windows and waving, like that was the biggest social event of their day. We talk on the phone, but it's not the same as before.
16. haven't hung out with anyone in 6 months. that's what you call severe social isolation
Please get out from your house, try to hang ou with anyone before it's too late, I'm 24 yrs and my social siolation started when I was 16, I always thought that it will be temporarely and that I'll be ok next week or month, and after almost a decade I still waiting for that day.
I'm 52 I lived most of my life like that, it feels normal and ok now, even though is't not. make yourself get out, join a group or a club, find a hobby and look for others that share your hobby,start exercising, find lectures or classes out side of school. don't let it become your normal! ,
try 6 years of not making any connections, friendships, relationships, failed attempts at making friends and a family that always puts you even further down than how you already feel. being 19 and being abnormally lonely and socially akward for 6 YEARS can mess with your mentality in the long run and may even lead to suicidal thoughts.
I'm 43 I have no friends left.
I interact with people at work.
Outside np one has time. They are all busy with there lives.
I don't get invited out and no one shares information on family events.
Yeah going on about 10 years here...
Another way to help achieve goals is to see them as they are. I tend to blow even the smallest goals out of proportion and end up getting so overwhelmed that I cannot start to take babysteps to achieve them. See your goals as they really are: as ant hills or small hills instead of mountains. If other people have achieved the same goals, learn about their stories and tell yourself that if they can do it, so can you.
m&ms and me I love it 😃
I've been isolated for 2 years and it never really bothered me, but now it starts to feel like I just lack potency. I wanna get out of here from today.
I get panic attacks.. everywhere at the grocery store in a car in a free way.. I just want to be free of it and not worry about it anymore. I want to stop being isolated in my room every day.
oh god,i am ready..lets hear it
In my case, it was the matter of going back to school and eventually being able to move out on my own. It's super easy to feel isolated, in a small, rural community that has little to do.
THANK YOU!!
And how do you deal with it if you haven't anyone to be with?
wow, i really struggle with this and im so glad you made a video on it :) im defo going to try this and writing my goals etc. could you possibly do a video on how to deal with the pressures of loneliness? like when im alone all day, i start and feel so pressured to actually go out, and its like im fighting with myself, i get really angry and upset over it :( thanks xxx
Wow. Your enlightening me and I agree with what you are saying- I'm amazed with how you are hitting "my symptoms" on the head. Amazing- I feel like nobody understands. Xanax is really screwing up my memory.
I can't believe you actually respond to your comments that's awesome
Go for a walk, after work or during? Some of us don't live on parents couch anymore and we aren't all unemployed. Family? What's that?
I love kati's voice
Do one on getting over child abuse?
#KatiFAQ how are you? Thank you for the videos, I watch them everyday. I am able to go out, but only be in small groups like I'm involved with my church on Wednesdays and Sundays, but I don't talk much because I am afraid I might say something wrong, or I don't hangout with my friends at my house because I don't like talking to my friends about stuff to where my parents can hear. Same thing while I'm on the phone. It gives me the worst anxiety that my parents will come and ask me what I was phone talking about, or what was I talking about with my friend.. How do I get over the social anxiety? I feel like it has lead me to isolate myself from others...
I visit church members at least three times a week. I'm well aware of my isolation from social interactions (face to face). I go out of the house 5-6 times a week. It really depends on what you do with your life. Those who have jobs still feel isolated. People claim to be your friends when they rarely talk to you. If you haven't gone past the greetings phase then you're still acquaintances.
I have Pets that love me more than my friends, family and clique co-workers
I have been bullied a lot throughout my life for the way I look, my height, clothes I wear, the car I drive, and where I live...Soooo sorry I don't have a house yet, but no one wants to hang unless I own a house
It feels like I am walking on eggshells when it comes to social interaction and hard for me to make good friends...people have used me like recycled garbage over the years and it hurts
and I feel so isolated to the point where there is no more hope left for me
I have tried and tried and tried to make decent friends, but in the end I feel like a nobody...like I don't even exist
I know it will get better down the road, but I am living through tough times
Who else is feeling this way?
I am going to be moving soon, to be renting a room in an apartment in NYC on my own, and know I will isolate myself. But if I want to get a place, I have realized I must challenge myself to come off as a social person, as no one wants a "shut-in" who is home all the time for an apartment-mate! And no one wants the burden of knowing that I have depression and anxiety issues that may make me be isolated sometimes, straight off the bat! :P
I do pretty well at forcing myself to get out, but I don't actually talk to people when I do. I think that is the next step! Along with sorting out this apartment stuff.
Obviously it wasn't but I feel like this video could be personally directed to me lol. Seriously though, I sincerely needed this topic even though it's not even something I would have thought of on my own. I would love more on this topic! Thankyouthankyouthankyou, Kati!
Also, good grief. California looks so much more beautiful and relaxing than Indiana...
M.C. better than Michigan too
It might look it but some of us, like me, feel isolated and lonely and I was born and raised in Southern California /:
I try to challenge isolation by making commitments I know I won't cancel on. Not big things like parties, but maybe a lunch with a close close friend. Or, even setting a time to talk to someone on the phone or Skype. My sister & three best friends all live in other states or in Canada, so sometimes challenging isolation for me is about being more open when I talk with them. If I tell one of them that I can talk at a particular time & she calls, I will keep that commitment of talking. Sometimes, if its not planned, I might let the call go to voicemail. Also, I tend to be more willing to go to something treatment related (therapy or other appointment, support groups, etc.) where I don't have to hide that I'm struggling, than to be social with someone where I might try to show that I'm doing better than I am. Saying I'm going to do something definitely makes me less likely to cancel, unless its a bigger gathering where I feel like I won't be missed.
Oh. And ***** I have a #KatiFAQ - What is on your shirt here?!?! Is that legs? I'm so confused.
You would think that this would be so jammed up with new comments
I am trying to host a new Air BNB experience a few days a week on guided meditation and work towards finding people who celebrate me rather than tolerate me.
Yes, I have to say the internet access is a comfort zone most of the time, I just see it as getting to know people as they are through text message scenarios and nothing more, I find that isolation is self cautious of people in the outside world, it's not a motivation either way for I'm just used to staying home in the same old same old as most would word it! See the antisocial personality disorder and depression anxiety attack issues are non refundable security blankets rather wait until I'm sure that everything is okay before venturing into the unknown!
I'm isolated because I deal with extreme general and social anxiety and I want to get out but it's super hard for me to leave my home without freaking out
Isolation is a survival tool for me. I have strange facial expressions that are link to my schizophrenia. (I'm guessing) Anyway, a simple trip to Walmart is a nightmare for me. Shoppers lock their car doors and grab their kids for safety as soon as they see me.
I dont know what the hell people see but I feel totally normal. I would not hurt a fly or break the law under any circumstances.
Staying isolated helps forget about how strange I am. I will only go in public when absolutely necessary.
Thanks for your videos, I really aporeciate them. I have a question. I'm now 54 and have been a loner or rather avoidant with regard to making friends & also dating for probably 20 years. It's not only becauae my fear of rejection, feeling inadequate & suspect people don't get me etc... but also because my depression, moodiness. The depression & moodiness make me a not-so-great kind of friend (I do always take meds & they work sometimes). I'm not so reliable to consistently "be there" as a stable friend reliably. I know I'll let someone down & I'll feel so horrible & guilty about it. It makes me even more hesitant to make friends. I feel a bit unworthy & perhaps it's inappropriate for me to try & make friends till I can commit to being a good friend. I guess it's a bit of a defeatist attitude? Do you have any advice about this topic/problem?
Go get yourself checked out by a therapist / counselor - then find a good life coach to help you achieve what you want
Work on the depression. Very sorry for you pain. I wish i could somehow help. Feel free to comment back?
Is this california? It looks like paradise Kati! Lucky you! It's winter here, had a high of 12 C today... brrr. Thankyou for the video! xx
Feeling so isolated during this darn lock down. I feel trapped. Like a prisoner in my own mind. Haven’t been able to see my loved ones. Today is 5/9. We’ve been in isolation since 3/18
What if going out makes u feel worse as the world is thriving but you feel stuck and retired? What if home is the only place you feel at ease less paranoid? The more I go out the worse I feel. The more I stay in the better I feel. I am an anomoly!
Small steps is what works best for me
I've been extremely socially isolated (like almost no human interaction) and lonely for the past 6 months or so now, and it's probably the worst it's ever been. I know I need to get help, but don't know what to do.
Nadeshda N I feel you my friend.
I hope you're doing well now! and if not, I hope that you will have many good days ahead. Therapy is great to understand and go through your issues that have lead to your loneliness. Sending you all my love!
Keep distracting yourself with hobbies at home! The internet! You have to survive
In my case, I am not depressed or anything, I can handle being alone pretty well. But after a week or 3, I begin to feel the isolation but rather just from my biological/psychological perspective, because it is a basic human need to connect. But it is very easy to just say I don't wanna get outside, because it feels like waste of time. Strange isn't it. I'm going to have to stay in this small town for about a year and I'm starting to get worried about filling this year with things and people.
I joined several groups and courses in my life where I met hundreds of people, I got acquainted with many, but none of them has ever become a friend.
This needs an update for Covid!
She's an LMFT now! Go Kati!
Awesome video! It's applicable to so so so much more than isolation :)
You are incredibly knowledgable, beautiful, fit, fantastic, insightful, helpful, intelligent, and informed; your videos are simply a G*dsend! George Clooney should have chosen you instead of that other woman to marry; you're SO much more personable, well-rounded, and emotionally equipped (and stunningly gorgeous to boot...). Cheers!!!!
dterm2002 was Katie dating George Clooney and he left her for his current wife?!!
I disagree with promoting CBT specifically and exclusively across the board here. Other modalities may lack the large body of empirical research CBT is privileged to, but they can have more to offer some individuals, especially those who are seeking therapy for life issues that are not stemming from major DSM disorders.
Meg Gilbert which modalities do you think are also helpful?
I have gone for a mile walk, I have done a chakra meditation, I take CBD at day time and ThC when it is bedtime. What am I missing?
oh my god... the background looks heavenly! beautiful! I am from Ireland. Where is that?
I'm isolated because my job has nothing to do with working with people. I could go as long as I want without talking to anyone. I absolutely despise tech work.
Hi Kati, You know well about normal problems,and normal levels/ranges/amounts - could you refer the abnormal ones to someone who knows and speaks about them? Help...! Thanks
Can you do an update taking the pandemic into consideration. I’m struggling with isolation because I live alone and am isolated due to the pandemic. I can’t date, my friends don’t want to hang out, everyone is terrified of covid. I am alone all the time, it is very hard.