I think it's been patriarchal ever since men could physically over power women. In other words forever. Power corrupts no matter who has it. Not that every man is domineering, but almost universally systems support male domination. It's across all ages and all races. I know some women say otherwise, but I don't believe they are correct. Women now have guns and votes. The great equalizers.
"Patriarchy hurts everyone." Truer words were never spoken. Boyo boyo boy! Where to begin? As a man, I have "suffered" a lot under the patriarchy. For me, the word patriarchy = Roman Catholicism = Catholic priests = a father knows best attitude. They don't know best. They often know the worst because their frame of reference is the whole misogynistic power structure that they have been admitted into by becoming a priest. There is so much more to say and props to both the interviewer and the interviewee. It's a halting, awkward conversation - one that almost never takes place in other contexts. As for "Charlie Rose" media personality, i can understand why you would put up with abuse from him considering the vaunted position that he held for a while. I can also understand how difficult it was/is to speak out against him and against patriarchy... at the end of the day, Charlie Rose is insignificant but the problem and issue of patriarchy remains.
Wonderful and insightful episode. I was in that submissive, fundamentalist thought pattern for a long time. It took my eyes being opened to my ex staring to be abusive to our daughters. We had been in counseling with our pastor (independent Baptist, not part of IFB, but close) and he kept telling me that we could have discussion, but ultimately it was my husband’s right to make all of the decisions. My ex was Bi-Polar and had severe PTSD from the Gulf War. He also had Multiple Sclerosis. All of these affected his decision making ability, but with him as the head of the household, there was very little I could do. I am so sorry that I stayed in that marriage as long as I did and even more sorry that I stayed in that church for a couple of more years. I literally had people (church leaders’ wives) turn their back on me and the youth groups not caring about my daughters’ severe health issues and make simple changes so they could continue to attend youth events (like no balloons inside buildings for my severely anaphylaxis daughter). The biggest surprise was that it was my parents’ generation that was most understanding and encouraging to me. The fundamentalist church does not like individuals who do not completely conform to their way of thinking. I stopped drinking the kool-aid. I have much more peace and happiness now.
@@PreacherBoys I really, REALLY appreciate it when youtubers acknowledge their viewers by writing in the comment section. I'll bet you won't read mine though.
As a Fem presenting person. When I was 18 I was SA'd by an Evangelical Youth Preacher. Be had worked there since couple of months before I was born I blamed myself for it even though I knew it was all on him. This was very beneficial to anyone who has suffered any kind of abuse
"SA'd"? what is that. I feel for you. Just a couple weeks ago at a Sunday service the preacher talked about how the Church is a place to acknowledge, and perhaps reveal, one's vulnerabilities. Isn't that how it starts? Still, I kind of advocate that people, everyone would be better off if they would acknowledge vulnerabilities.
45:27 ok this this this right here is why people like my mother stay in the toxic environment of the church. There’s too much of an investment and her entire existence is defined by it. It’s SO TRUE and so well articulated here. Also don’t worry about the hating men comment, he obviously didn’t listen to the whole podcast. If anything, this woman is softer on men than many of your guests. It’s an intellectual topic and that’s going to weed out some people off the bat 😂
@@PreacherBoysyes and to leave is to be forced to look at your life through the lens of wasted devotion and also (I speak from experience here) you are forced to admit the massive toll raising your children in this environment took on their mental health. I got my kid out in her early teens but much damage was already done. I live with that guilt. But it’s a small price to pay for her future happiness and my own freedom.
Reah quotes Jessica Knoll in her book, who says, “I owe it to my younger self, and to the younger women who stay silent because their behavior does not align with the inaccurate archetype of a sexual assault victim. Women who play nice with their abusers are not cowards. We are not opportunistic, and we are not untrustworthy. We are the clear majority.” It's so important to look deeper into the power dynamics at play in these situations!
America doesn't hate women. Sexuality is the problem. No one within our culture has been taught anything about sexual differences. As a man (now) I have no memories of anyone explaining anything having to do with sexuality.
I'm not sure why you'd think I hate men for encouraging them not to adhere to systems that actively harm them and women. I think you're missing my point.
Calling men higher. Calling men to see outside of themselves, outside of power and the domination of other human beings. If we’re open to cultural humility and empathy, this conversation will force us to see beyond our narrow view of others and the world.
I love the point that this isn't just how it is. We've only been patriarchal for such a tiny fraction of our time on this planet.
I think it's been patriarchal ever since men could physically over power women. In other words forever. Power corrupts no matter who has it. Not that every man is domineering, but almost universally systems support male domination. It's across all ages and all races. I know some women say otherwise, but I don't believe they are correct. Women now have guns and votes. The great equalizers.
i agree 👍 👍
"Patriarchy hurts everyone." Truer words were never spoken.
Boyo boyo boy! Where to begin? As a man, I have "suffered" a lot under the patriarchy. For me, the word patriarchy = Roman Catholicism = Catholic priests = a father knows best attitude. They don't know best. They often know the worst because their frame of reference is the whole misogynistic power structure that they have been admitted into by becoming a priest. There is so much more to say and props to both the interviewer and the interviewee. It's a halting, awkward conversation - one that almost never takes place in other contexts. As for "Charlie Rose" media personality, i can understand why you would put up with abuse from him considering the vaunted position that he held for a while. I can also understand how difficult it was/is to speak out against him and against patriarchy... at the end of the day, Charlie Rose is insignificant but the problem and issue of patriarchy remains.
Wonderful and insightful episode. I was in that submissive, fundamentalist thought pattern for a long time. It took my eyes being opened to my ex staring to be abusive to our daughters.
We had been in counseling with our pastor (independent Baptist, not part of IFB, but close) and he kept telling me that we could have discussion, but ultimately it was my husband’s right to make all of the decisions. My ex was Bi-Polar and had severe PTSD from the Gulf War. He also had Multiple Sclerosis. All of these affected his decision making ability, but with him as the head of the household, there was very little I could do. I am so sorry that I stayed in that marriage as long as I did and even more sorry that I stayed in that church for a couple of more years. I literally had people (church leaders’ wives) turn their back on me and the youth groups not caring about my daughters’ severe health issues and make simple changes so they could continue to attend youth events (like no balloons inside buildings for my severely anaphylaxis daughter). The biggest surprise was that it was my parents’ generation that was most understanding and encouraging to me. The fundamentalist church does not like individuals who do not completely conform to their way of thinking. I stopped drinking the kool-aid. I have much more peace and happiness now.
20:18 yes yes yes!!! It took me until the age of 36 to finally say it's not that I'm tough enough to endure it, I'm wise enough to not allow abuse.
It’s a shame anyone has to endure these environments!
@@PreacherBoys I really, REALLY appreciate it when youtubers acknowledge their viewers by writing in the comment section. I'll bet you won't read mine though.
Thank you, this was helpful.
Really glad to hear that! I was really proud of this episode.
As a Fem presenting person. When I was 18 I was SA'd by an Evangelical Youth Preacher. Be had worked there since couple of months before I was born I blamed myself for it even though I knew it was all on him. This was very beneficial to anyone who has suffered any kind of abuse
"SA'd"? what is that. I feel for you. Just a couple weeks ago at a Sunday service the preacher talked about how the Church is a place to acknowledge, and perhaps reveal, one's vulnerabilities. Isn't that how it starts? Still, I kind of advocate that people, everyone would be better off if they would acknowledge vulnerabilities.
@christopherdaly1399 Sexually Assaulted
45:27 ok this this this right here is why people like my mother stay in the toxic environment of the church. There’s too much of an investment and her entire existence is defined by it. It’s SO TRUE and so well articulated here.
Also don’t worry about the hating men comment, he obviously didn’t listen to the whole podcast. If anything, this woman is softer on men than many of your guests. It’s an intellectual topic and that’s going to weed out some people off the bat 😂
The sunk cost fallacy can be such an anchor.
@@PreacherBoys "sunk cost fallacy" what is that. Sounds like a phrase from LinkedIn like, "Impostor Syndrome."
@@PreacherBoysyes and to leave is to be forced to look at your life through the lens of wasted devotion and also (I speak from experience here) you are forced to admit the massive toll raising your children in this environment took on their mental health. I got my kid out in her early teens but much damage was already done. I live with that guilt. But it’s a small price to pay for her future happiness and my own freedom.
Complicit and a victim, yes! It’s survival tactics, it’s how women survive in an abusive marriage.
Reah quotes Jessica Knoll in her book, who says, “I owe it to my younger self, and to the younger women who stay silent because their behavior does not align with the inaccurate archetype of a sexual assault victim. Women who play nice with their abusers are not cowards. We are not opportunistic, and we are not untrustworthy. We are the clear majority.”
It's so important to look deeper into the power dynamics at play in these situations!
Why does America hate women so much?😢
Simple. Christianity.
America hates anything that isn’t white and male. The historical, legal, and cultural records serve as evidence.
America doesn't hate women. Sexuality is the problem. No one within our culture has been taught anything about sexual differences. As a man (now) I have no memories of anyone explaining anything having to do with sexuality.
@@richgird7959 very reductive
Religion poisons everything. -- Christopher Hitchens
Roger Ailes vibes. These creeps are all the same
Tell us you two hate men and masculinity without actually saying it. Real disappointed on this one. For shame, for shame…..
I'm not sure why you'd think I hate men for encouraging them not to adhere to systems that actively harm them and women. I think you're missing my point.
Tell us you think women pee out of our vaginas without actually saying it.
They’re citing that rag called NYT. Liberals have a tiny and sheltered worldview
Women will abuse power also. It just so happens that far more men have had the chance to abuse power.
Calling men higher. Calling men to see outside of themselves, outside of power and the domination of other human beings. If we’re open to cultural humility and empathy, this conversation will force us to see beyond our narrow view of others and the world.