She's Childfree By Choice. He's Father to Five Kids
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 19 มิ.ย. 2024
- Kelsey, a single, bisexual, childfree-by-choice woman from Indiana meets her polar opposite in Cameron, a Mormon father of five living in Brooklyn, to debate difficult topics around child-rearing in a planet with an uneasy future. How does religion and the reality of climate change factor into the choice to have children -- and large families? What if that one kid you didn't have could've been the one to save the planet?
Being Fruitful vs. Being Green | Should We Kid or Not? Ep. 2
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I’d like to see this conversation between a mom of 5 kids and a child free woman, not a MAN who didn’t carry 5 kids, didn’t get pregnant 5 times, didn’t sacrifice anything like a woman sacrifices,,,,
T Patty exactly! Where’s his wife right now? With the kids.
And From a religion where the men are considered the authority......
Agree!
Aang S A THIS is what I was thinking
Yesssssss
He’s a man, he wasn’t the one in labor for his 5 children, so I think his point of view is kind of different from reality.
They should have got his wife on
Exactly Perfectly said!!👏👏
Exactly, Angie S A.
They weren't talking about pregnancy they were talking about kids and parenting this has nothing to do with gender it's about the kid's bruv
Yes. So much yes. I thought I wanted 3 or 4 but after the first i have quickly decided she will be the only...
Unpopular opinion:
People who justify anything with religion, shouldn't procreate.
AMEN and AWOMEN💯✊🏼
YAAAAS!!! Totally agree
People who justify anything with atheism shouldn’t procreate.
Definitely not an unpopular opinion
You know who else could help change the world? That woman you're forcing to have a child she didn't want, and now she can't even afford rent and missed out on college and life.
Michelle that’s a really good point!
Where did they ever mention this?? Is there a longer version or something Im missing out here... He never once said something about forcing...
@@unknown_bitch6734 A lot of Child-Free people (more specifically the ones complaining on the internet) are autistic SJW types that assume that the women only had kids because patriarchy/religion/their man said so. As if the thought of a woman choosing to go to church and/or have kids is an impossibility. In reality that guy seems like an upstanding man and might even be a good husband, with the wife mirroring his religious or family values.
No one forces people to have kids
@@marcelo626able Yes. Happenes everyday in world. In countries where abortion is not legal or especially within families/ relationships were you are threatened to be thrown out, beaten up or murdered if you have an abortion.
He thinks he is actually "helping god" by procreating?? That seems very narcissistic
And definitely brainwashing.. due to the fact that we have so many problems in the world from "PROCREATING"🤦🏽♀️😂
It's not narcissistic at all with how Mormonism works. They believe that the human soul exists in a limbo-like state before birth and that choosing not to procreate is basically holding them in a prison for a prolonged period of time. It's weird and dumb, but still quite consistent.
@@citycapital163 Whoah, didn't have any idea about that
I think he feels he is helping the souls of other people who haven't yet had the experience of having a physical body. Not helping god.
Vault Courier that sounds really fucking creepy lol. Kinda weird
As soon as she said eldest of 5 I knew exactly why she didn’t want any kids, she was already a mother. Also, next time you have this conversation plz have the mother of 5 who did the heavy lifting, men don’t count.
so well said!! x
Totally! I’m the oldest and I’m sure that’s one of the reasons I don’t want kids
im a guy and i agree
Yup because parents are always making the oldest of the bunch be the unpaid caretaker smh I’m the oldest of only one and I do not want children
Toxic
There are over 7 billion people in this world. Do you really think your extra child would "change" the world?
😂
Stop chattin shit climate change or not u will be childfree u just want to have more money
Well, i don't know how the situation is in the USA. In Europe we need kids badly. Our pension system is in danger. But. Obviously. Everybody has the choice. Both decision are okay.
Right like tell me another joke!!!😂😂
@@mrsurname6960 Japan is also overrun with elderly and there aren't enough young people to run the country; I'm not sure that's an argument for more kids, though.
All the "Children are a gift" religious fundamentalism talk goes out the window when their child turns out to be LGBT or does not want to follow their religion anymore. Then they torture and abuse the child and persecute them for having free will and a distinct personality.
this!!!!!
EXACTLY, alien!!
They like children. When a child grows up and becomes more independent they like them less and less.
no
Don’t generalise please, it’s a really closed minded view on a massive demographic of people that you know nothing about. ❤️
People say to me that I'm selfish because I don't want kids. And I spend my free time volunteering and helping my community. I also work at an animal rescue centre. How is that being selfish?
It's not selfish at all to not want children.
As a person that loves kids and really wanted my own, I know it's not for everyone.
I wanted them, I had them. Other people that don't, shouldn't be made to feel like they have to, it's not fair to them or the child.
I'm also tired of ppl overlooking that many people are horrible parents and ruined their childs' lives by even conceiving them.
You are not selfish to not contribute to more pain, suffering and death.
You have kindness to not force a innocent sentient being that didn't consented to live in this terrible world.
You’re not selfish!
You are in no way selfish and when it comes down everything at the end of the day you have to do what’s right for yourself life and wellbeing. That should come for most before anyone or anything. Just ignore them if you can they have nothing better to do with there lives then judge innocent people for life decisions we’ve decided for are self.
27 and still no kids. I have never wanted kids. Tired of poeple telling me I will change my mind.
It's not for everyone and there's so many people that should never have had kids, including by adoption.
I love kids, I wanted them, I had them, on MY terms. But I'm not so arrogant to think that since I love it that everyone should.
We're each an individual and that's a great thing.
My own kids are now 17 and 20 and say they don't think they want kids. I tell them that it's a private decision they need to make for themselves. I want my kids to be happy and happiness means different things to different people.
I wish you joy for your life and that you live your best life for you. 😊
@@Lokian_Mermaid You sounds like a really wonderful and supportive parent ❤.
It's a personal choice. This isn't a debate.. this isn't even a discussion. It's just a life choice.
The only problem are people who think everyone should live the same way.
True
Facts 💯
Right on🎉🎉🎉🎉...
5 kids??? How does one afford that? They must have sweet jobs to live in Brooklyn with
5 children.
Debt. That's a no for me.
Omg you're so cute!
He's a religious man who probably has a heck of a professional career and makes tons of money. God teaches people to be self sufficient and to prepare themselves, study and be good workers. I'm sure he's a heck of hard working father
@@estergomeztorio6511 The only thing that makes any impact is the professional career.
My parents had 5 children and despite being hard and thorough workers, were not able to afford it and certainly wouldn't be able to afford it in NY.
Organisation they are in helps them
I’m 47 and I’m childless. And I’m happy.
Sure
@@TusharSharma-cy9xo jealous of her freedom and finances lol
She grew up in a home with 4 siblings, I think she knows what she believes a little better because she saw her parents struggle and the oldest ends up helping with babysitting it's annoying.
I'm hone of 6 kids and I loved it. I have actually been trying for two years to conceive but due to infertility I haven't been able. It's OK though because I know I will somehow have 5 children, either of my own or adopted
Families are different
It’s 2020 and we are judging women for consciously deciding to not have children? It’s important for people to do what is right for them.
How is stating what year it is an argument?
@Arne Andersen becus people want things to stay in the 18th century where humans rights are non existent
How can you be 'missing out' if it's a feeling that you don't have? Childfree and happy as.
The same can be said for parents who missed out the life childfree people have
40 years old, and I've been with my husband for 20 years. 0 children. :)
I notice couples who do not have children always appear to have more longer lasting and stable relationships.......anecdotal of course. In fact, I notice the men in child free couples tend to treat their wives or girlfriends like true partners......could be just me though. It seems like the men don't see their partners as glorified slaves. I see couples with kids where the wife has to work full time and than come home and take care of the house, the kids and hubby. He basically doesn't do shit at home.
Please stay that way lbvvs 💯😒🙄 too expensive and no guarantee your child/children will be achievers and not disappointments to you or this world
58 years old, married 33 years, 0 children 😊
42 years old, I’ve been with my husband almost 19 years. 0 children :)
@@asavannah7439 so nice, Im 37, married for 10 years and 0 kids. We dont want kids either.
Him: "Childfree people are missing out."
Me: "People with kids are the ones missing out."
If you're happy with how you live you're life, there's no missing out. It's all a question of perspective. 🤷♀️
But you may have regrets later in your life, and no one who will be able to take care of you.
@@patricksaxon3983 Well, having a kid so It can be your future caretaker is a very shitty reason to have them in the first place. Even if you genuinely loved your kids (I mean besides thinking of them as future ATMs/Caretakers) there's no guarantee they'll want to, or be able to take care of you when It's time. What regrets? You can't regret not having something you didn't even want unless you changed your mind, which is rare in childfree people. Best regret not having one, than regret having it when the kids already there.
@@patricksaxon3983 That's exactly the same situation for parents. You can totally regret having children and your children might not take care of you when you're old. Also, it's funny how parents call childfree people selfish and then proceeded to use children as their retirement plan.
@@patricksaxon3983 why do people assume that a person will be alone if they don’t have children? If you are a person who is socially active and puts value on forming meaningful relationships with others, you will not be alone. Also, even if someone does have children it is no guarantee said kids will even chip in to take care of you. There’s thousands of elderly people rotting away in old folks homes, and have several kids but yet no one is there for them. It all depends on how one chooses to live their life
@@gills87 so damn true!!!!
It's fine to not want to be a parent. Yes, there will be things that we never experience because of that choice, but that's ok. The parenting experience isn't meant to be for everyone and we each get to make that choice for ourselves:)
Agreed. To your point, there are things parents will miss out on that child-free adults get to experience.
Nope, it is an obligation and a rewarding experience, especially if you have large families. Look at the divorce rate today, divorced couples with no children or less, ends up in divorce.
@@patricksaxon3983 Why do you care so much? You comment like this on every video relating to this subject. I think you are just a troll. Go back to your bridge.
@@patricksaxon3983 Who cares what you think? It's none of your business.
@Patrick Saxon lmao, have you not thought divorce rates are only lower among parents with kids cus they have no choice but to stick in the marriage? 😂😂 why would I want kids to have my life tied down
Dude I work in childcare... I know what having a child is, I can assure you I’m not missing out on ANYTHING
Working in childcare is not the same thing as being a parent, sir/ma’am.
@@notabadword4026 But if working in childcare is stressful why would you become a parent. I work with kids with ASD and kids who are neurotypical. They are all a handful.
@notabadword4026 Working in childcare is exactly the same as being a parent. I was there 8 hours of the day and had nothing left at the end of the day. I can't imagine having to put up with all the crying, noise, stimulation, demanding, and messiness 24/7. NO WAY!!!
Health is always compromised when you’re pregnant even when you’re healthy from the beginning. Never would I be pregnant for 9 month, go through childbirth and post partum issue for a child I don’t even want, and just throw them into Forster homes.
xjushja I feel exactly the same way.
💯🙌🏽
@@iulia1188 There is something called abortion you know. You don't have to give birth to a child if you don't want to
there are people who get sick and their ovaries and uterus malfunction bec they dont get to be used as what its supposed to do. technically its like leaving your tools in a box waiting for it to rust. just sayin.
This. I love how he's like "if her resources were better"... Dude. If a woman does not want to be a mother then she does not. We are not simply our biology. He says "the mother should". If she wants an abortion, she's not a mother, she's a woman who wants to stop the pregnancy.
I have kids. Love my kids. If you don't want kids don't have them at all. It's a never ending thing that is insane.
I was raised Mormon. If this man is anything like most Mormon men, I can 1,000% guarantee that he does almost nothing to help his wife with five kids. Mormon men like to take the title of “head of the household” and oftentimes when they have a kid, nothing in their life changes. The LDS culture puts intense pressure on women to drop everything (including college education) to be stay at home moms. It’s easy for him to sit there and talk about how wonderful his kids are when I’m confident he does nothing to help raise them.
The thought of pregnancy and raising a child gave me so much anxiety. No thanx!
I'm childfree by choice! I LOVE not having kids and will never have them.
Same here!
Same
I'd never have kids and never want them, just hope that I'll find a lady who shares the same views like me
kids are awful
@@grafmecx2641 Considering that you're a man, can you share your reasons for not wanting to have kids?
I’m 30 and at 27 I decided to stay single, unmarried and childless for the rest of my life. I simply do not want to deal with the kind of physical and emotional responsibility that come with being a mother. I feel the same way about marriage and relationships. I have a loving family that consists of my grandmom and my parents. They’re my everything and all I need.
You do realize they will not live forever?
I see. Please find something to fufill you. Like a passion you can make better or a goal you want to achieve. I respect your relationships with your family, but you need an outlet for yourself as well.
YASSS I love that you know what is best for YOU girl, own it!!
So, even if you were in love with someone, they loved you back and you shared similar opinions and life goals when it comes to topics that you consider relevant, would you still prefer being single or would you at least prefer a relationship with them?
@@iulia1188 Nobody lives forever even if you have children, you or your kids won't live forever
Why do parents think we’re missing out ?? On what even ? Shat diapers, being woken up at 3 am, puke ?? I could be in Bali for 3 weeks and 2 more wherever I want every year, that would be missing out to me😂
Truth
🙌🏽🙌🏽💯💯👑💄😂
If you can't understand what they mean, then you're probably too dense to procreate in the first place. I don't even care about what they're saying, but I at least know what they're trying to say.
Right!
@@citycapital163 you aren't missing anything with or without children the fact is that if you have children chances are life will be more miserable than it was before
“If they are having less kids, doesn’t that mean I can have as many as I want?” First, you aren’t CARRYING them. This dude is selfish AF.
Bea that was racist. FYI- the reason Africa( which is a continent, not a country) has the issues it has is because of first world privilege and pillage...and before you reply to me, make sure there aren’t raisins in your potato salad
Bea what is so bad about being child free? There is literally a stigma ALL OVER THE WORLD so stop trying to put all the blame on Africa...? Not to mention Africa is a whole CONTINENT so different countries are going to think differently and have different amount of kids 🤦🏾♀️ btw Asia has the biggest population in the world not Africa. God people always find ways to be racist..
Maybe his wife enjoys being pregnant. Lots of women enjoy it
It's kinda like 7 billion people throwing a piece of trash in the beach since 'it's just one trash'
This woman is my soul mate. We will drink tea and read a book and have all our cats together.
Sure, your kid could save the world in 25 years. Or you could save the world right now, which is easier if you don't have any kids.
On point. 👍
You have the solution to all the problems we are facing today!
Not quite as simple as that.
Bea
But when you tell those Africans to stop having children or that it’s best not to have children they shun you and curse you out!
I’m not kidding. But then these same people have children and demand someone else take care of them. I have an uncle with 3 sons but somehow demands others to take care of his children.
Go figure!
Children can also save the marriage, are you aware of the divorce rate and those divorce couples possibly did not have children or had less children which lead to their divorce.
I’d rather sit at home
In silence
Read a book
And drink tea
With my cats
GIRL, YES 🙌
“God put woman on earth to be wives & mothers”
Me:
(purposely marriage free and childfree ‘till I die)
🤔
💯💯💯
Have fun at 50 with no one around to be wity
From what I understand, a study just came out that sad the happiest subgroup on the planet are single, child free women..........as a 56 yr old child free woman who has never regretted the decision.........I would have to agree. I freaking love being child free.
@@bornfree8073 as if being alone is a bad thing..........most humans are too damn psychotic to be around. From what I understand, even kids are turning into serial killers now.......keep em away from my pets.
Well i guess god and I both won't get what we want
I applaud every single woman that didn’t give in to societal pressure that women MUST bear children👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank you 😊 it was indeed the right choice
(Re:climate change) "If other people arent having kids cant I have as many as I want then?" Selfish selfish selfish. Way to miss the point
That's not selfish, that's a very valid question. For the same reason that I think the people saying "we need to keep the human race going" are just giving me an excuse to have as little kids as I want. I don't need to produce kids because they already pumped out 12 kids themselves. Just like how he can produce children in place of all the kids that millennials are choosing not to have.
Isn’t that one of the great sin?
@@kimdupont3731 Doesn't matter, because there's nothing selfish about it in his case. Mormons believe their children's souls always existed long before impregnation and that being childfree means holding them in a celestial prison. It's an odd religion, but it doesn't make sense to call this selfish. If anything, his beliefs imply the childfree's are the selfish ones, not that he's correct.
iuliaIg yet you’ve been giving those who don’t want children flack? Don’t be a hypocrite.
@@iulia1188 I agree with you!
I didn't like other kids as a kid either. So I do not want one now.
Same
Same
Same
is he is the daddy who come after job home and just playing with kids, i want to see his wife who are all the time with kids, telling the truth))))
The video explains it all. He was there and where was the mother? Taking care of the kids most likely
Mothers can’t have jobs ?
@@sweetpotato7778 Statistically, women do most of the childcare and housework even when they hold full time jobs. And for biological reasons obviously, women are the ones who go through pregnancies, births, breastfeeding....
gold3nstar Also, it’s hard to have 5 kids and work outside the home. Usually, as the number of kids go up, the possibility that the mom works outside the home goes down.
Do you think he forced his wife to get pregnant? Maybe she likes having children as much as he does?
I wish America would stop pretending that the adoption and foster system we have isnt just a pit of overlooked, unacknowledged, mentally scarred children.
They should have put in the wife instead of the man (or maybe both, well that probably be intimidating to the women that is childfree), because that would make more sense. Even if the father loves his kids and was very helpful, it is still different for the woman who birthed 5 kids. It’s something that both women could talk about.
But it was good to see both views
How do you know that she would not encourage having children? Many women experience the rewards of having children, especially when they have many children, not less or not any children.
Frankly, a woman with ZERO kids cannot relate to a woman who gave birth anymore than a man can.
So, he's pro forced birth? They glossed over that.......
Of course, religionists will NEVER admit to the consequences of their actions.
When did he say that??
Anna Blink 3:49
Nothing he said seems to imply that, at all. You can still by a condom if you want. Anyone who says "abortion is sometimes okay" like he did is not into "forced birth". That's an absurd claim. You have to make absurdly shit life decisions in order to actually have a child you don't want, with how his political position works.
@@uj12678 Oof... YikEszz...
I know what I will be missing out on and I'm okay with that.
same here. I've been missing out for 56 years and so far missing out has never stopped my happiness and contentment.
Same.
It’s not missing out if you never wanted it in the first place. That’s just my view.
@@bamb3928 I agree, it’s a matter of perspective. If you are content with your choice and you have found happiness in them, you’re not missing out on anything. You’ve got it made
I am 39 and I have no regrets for being childfree.
Cameron: *believes we need to procreate to grow spiritually and mentor babies to become good people*
Me: *looks to every teacher, therapist, doctor, and coach on the planet*
Huh?
@@notabadword4026 majority of people in the educational and healthcare field are childfree hence they quoted them
I’m child-free by choice, but really appreciated the man’s calm demeanour and thoughtfulness. I wish I could have more discussions like that with people whom I didn’t agree with. They would be very enriching and educational. Calm, respectful, attentive dialogue between people who don’t agree with each other is really important and I wish I could have more of that in my life.
Cameron: "Once you have them there's no going back." *Dies a little inside while Kelsey laughs*
I see a lot of people criticising this man...But I like the fact that he was atleast respectful towards her.
I mean both of them were *respectful towards each other* despite clearly having completely different opinion.
And that ,my friend, is such a rare thing to find in this era of trolls...
We loved this too when we made the series. So interesting when you get two people in a room together. You might like our other film To Kid or Not To Kid
Imagine if each of his kids decided to have 5 kids themselves. Good grief.
I love this chick, her faces are on point!
Also if he wanted kids so bad.... why didn’t he also adopt or foster....? Like.... you can’t win with people like this
It's probably because of his religion. Idk much about mormonism, but there may be stigma when it comes to adopting kids just like there is in christianism (mormonism bases most of their principles in christianism), because it doesn't follow the somewhat silent expectation of raising only biological kids. That expectation doesn't even need to be religious, society as a whole somewhat frowns upon people who don't follow a typical path.
It could also be because they aren't comfortable with telling their adopted child that they're adopted, which could make the child jealous of his/her "siblings" because they know who their biological parents are and never had to deal with questions like "Where are my true parents? Are they dead or have they abandoned me?". There's usually less drama envolved if you don't adopt a child.
First of all, Mormons are Christians. Second of all, Mormons adopt a tooooon! And they actually get sealed in the temples as families, so there is no difference whatsoever to them on whether their kid is adopted or not, it's their kid and will be for the rest of eternity.
Exactly
Why would you raise other peoples children when the point is to continue youre own bloodline.
@@saitama4435 I think your comment is one of the most hateful and disgusting that I have ever read on TH-cam. I know this is a foreign concept to parasites like you, but many people have the capacity to love and care for others without sharing DNA.
They’re literally speaking two different languages
They’re literally both speaking English
Yes because they are a woman and a man and because of this they experience the world in a different way because society treats them differently. Also, there should have been his wife there discussing this topic and not him.
It's so stupid we're having this conversation up to this day. Do you want to breed and raise an entire football team? Go ahead. Do other people not need to see themselves perpetuated? Sure. Let people do whatever they want with their DNA.
Having kids definitely ages you.
She was not here for his views at all 😂😂😂
@Margaret Craigie Well said.
@Margaret Craigie I'm pretty sure it's because her personality is insufferable. That, and her politics seem to make for more religiously closed-minded than he is.
@Margaret Craigie Agreed. She even said it herself...about what her grandmother said to her. Its clear she was born into a religious family but went the other way.
@Jessica Alvarez I noticed that too and thought it was a bit disrespectful. She probably was expecting an attack on her character from a religious man - as she might have experienced in the past, but I thought that he was actually more open to a civil discussion than she was - due to her body language.
@@nattie911 well she said as such. so she prepared herself for another attack, but said she would have like to talk to him longer afterwords cause he surprised her. I dont feel like he really agreed with any of her thoughts about kids or beliefs tho
We don’t have kids and we’re 100% happy with that. That said, I don’t begrudge anyone else having kids. 5 is an excessive number, in my opinion, but if you have the resources and are actually GOOD parents... have at it!
This is pure madness. Instead of this man there should have been his wife, who's probably at home taking care of house and 5 children (5 pregnancies and births) all alone while the husband goes around saying having children is great.
... who designed this? They made this video with their ass, not with their brain.
I come from a large family. NO THANKS!
I know a family of 15 where half of the kids didn’t have children. I don’t think that was an accident.
Have you ever watched the Brady Bunch, that family maybe fictional, but I heard that large families can be fun and a wonderful blessing. You are missing out on so much.
@@patricksaxon3983 Did you miss my first sentence, or...?
@Amour Toujours that person have been copy pasting their comment everywhere on childfree comments. Just sounds like they are miserable and now wants people to join in their misery
No they aren’t missing out. If I didn’t find my husband I wouldn’t have kids either. I was 29 when I had myself first child. I have two now, it’s hard and sometimes I miss my single life.
He"s nice but delusional :" they are missing out"! No I haven't missed anything. I'm great
Are you sure that you may not have any regrets when you get older? My coworker is not only happy to be a father, but also very happy to be a grandfather.
@@patricksaxon3983 I notice that grandparents are crazy about their grandkids. However, I know one couple who had three kids and NONE of their children every got married or had children. It was a major disappointment and made them feel like failures as parents.
@@patricksaxon3983 What are you, man? What is your stake in harassing child free people, because you are literally on every video dealing with the subject? I think I will just follow these videos to harass you so I can understand what you are getting out of it :)
Adoption needs to be affordable. Here in usa it's ridiculously expensive. My aunt and uncle adopted overseas because they couldn't here in usa. People would adopt kids if it wasn't so hard and unattainable for most families even those who would. I have 2 daughters. I'm ok with other women who don't want kids. It's more of us women coming together and supporting one another's decisions whether or not to have kids or not.
Not only just USA, here some developing Asia country also rising.
I want kids, but the idea that women SHOULD have children and that their lives COULDN'T POSSIBLY be complete without them is ridiculous. Pressuring a woman to have children she doesn't want will only lead to bad outcomes for those children. Do we really need more cases of child abuse and neglect in this world?
I'm not Christian but I can't help but love the way he responded, he made her feel comfortable, didn't judge, disrespect or belittle her own belief or opinions. He was very articulate, gentle and kindly spoken as if he cared about what came out if his mouth and how it would make her feel. I could see it the whole way through. Heck id love to have a conversation with him!
💖💖 I totally agree 💖💖
Have you not heard of any super relighious person talk?? They all speak in that creepy clam tone.
@@kathryntommo2462 my grandparents be like:
bro? he literally said he's pro forced pregnancy eye 👁️👄👁️
Been looking for that comment! I liked the way they talked too. Usually, BOTH sides tend to be more aggressive about it but I think due to his calmness and her mirroring his calm behavior, they managed to exchange their points of view like normal people.
I'm childfree by choice and I'm loving my life. Too many people in this world anyway.
I decided to be childfree from a very young age (around 11 or 12). In my culture, having a husband and children defines the value and status of a woman. People tend to look down on the women who dont want to get married or have kids, so it seems like almost everyone around me throws stones at me and calls me selfish and useless. Even some people blame me for destroying the economy and humanbeings. However, I'm trying to be environmentally friendly and not add more waste and humans to this polluted and overpopulated world. I know that I'm not worthless and selfish but sometimes get a bit tired to fight this constant battle with people even my loved family members.
These religious baby machines really creep me out.
The World Would Be So Much Better Place If People Who Are Not Confident About Parenting, Just Stop Producing Kids. People Produce Kids Just Because It Has Become A Social Norm
He's pushed by belief and religion not by personal motives and experiences. Being childfree is not a luxury or a whim, it's the outcome of personal experiences, feelings and struggles. I'm childfree bc I have been through a lot so I feel I don't qualify to be a good parent.
I'm not getting sterilized but I am celibate without kids at 34, I'm pretty sure that I can get to menopause without pregnancy hopefully.
Having too many kids is highly irresponsible. It's not fair to the children & its not fair on society of the environment. Messed up!
Not if you can care for them. And as for the world...it doesn't matter to ppl who want kids. They just want kids and the world be damned. And there's nothing wrong with that.
If your someone like superman with the power to support a bunch of human kids go for it lol
It’s not your main purpose in life to get educated and then give it all up to raise a kid
What a self centered jerk. I could not have been nearly so polite to him. All his reasons for having so many kids are stupid ones. There should be a tax on anyone that has more than 3. The joys of parenthood with 3 or with 5 are not that different. I wonder if he is getting government assistance, since the cost of housing in NY is ridiculous. And of course he is making it even worse by having 5 kids.
If people with children should be taxed more, does that mean people without children should not be cared about when they get old?
@@josephang9927 look how good it worked for China. All these hateful people seem to forget that all their lovely government plans rely on new people supporting retirees with their taxed work. But then they'll solve it with open borders or some inconsistent destructive policy of which they give zero shit because they don't care about the next generation.
@Key Himself not really. They take money from workers and use it to give you some crumbs. Your money is long gone.
@@MaghoxFr false the "crumbs" is actually a big chunk of what you gave generally speaking you are giving yourself the crumbs when you vote
Joan, you know he is right, you are a lonely woman who hates all people with normal families. Your ego is too much. Dont reply me i aint gonna write you back
It´s stupid that we have father of many kids in this, the mother should be here. That father has nothing to say about pregnancy and giving birth, it would have been interesting to see two women discuss about it. But guess where the mom is? She is with the kids, bacause once woman has kids she is not free anymore.
People have kids to save themselves, they don't have kids to give them life. And I think thats ridiculous. I grew up with parents that had us because they were supposed to and depended on us for everything because we were their comfort, but they weren't really ours. My parents dont know much about what makes me me.
They chose a man because he's most likely to be less judgemental and critical of her. When it comes to childfree women, the people that are most judgemental of them are there fellow women. 💀
The only person who ever berated me and called me unnatural and selfish for not wanting kids was a dude whose wife I was friends with. He was utterly disgusted. No woman has come close to caring as much as he did.
nah men tend to be very opinionated on abortion and females sexuality despite the fact they dont carry the baby themselves
I see in the comments kind of a battle about what's better...there's no right answer. If not having babies is ok with you then dont. If you want them, do them. No one should force another human being to have babies I totally agree.. but also no one should keeping talking bad and mean things about babies and how gross they are with their poop and puke ecc.. babies are people. And people deserve respect.
Your life is not better than mine, either that I have 0 or 5 babies. There is no right or wrong. The only thing that matters is what makes me happy. Stop judging people who have a multiple family !
Finally someone with a working brain ❤️ I agree on what you said. Some people have also mentioned that it would be nice to have a third party in that discussion, for example another woman who chooses to have children not because of her religion but because she wants to herself.
Exactly! Thank you for saying this.
How do you know that women are being forced to have children? Women who are in love with their husband, not only feel it is their obligation to procreate, but also experience the many gifts from God to have children and they are a wonderful blessing.
@@TheAbsinthQueen just because you don't agree with the other comments here it doesn;t mean that she's the only one with a 'working brain' how rude.
@@patricksaxon3983 Here you are again - so are you going to spill the beans about what you are really doing here yet? Must be nefarious in nature if you haven't answered yet....
he seems like a good guy. so calm and respectful.
lol ummm more like narrow minded and judgemental
@@basicallysuper8176 exactly
nope, nope, nope! no uterus, no opinion!
Five kids in Brooklyn? He is rich or upper middle class.
Upper middle class, semi rich. A lot of white people live well in New York.
I'm childfree, but it's not for any philosophical or environmental reasons. Just not my thing.
Good for you
Sorry pal we can’t miss out on something weI have never experienced, kids are overrated, my humble opinion
You're a child free woman, who was able to be sterilized in Indiana?! that in itself is a MIRACLE! (I know you said it took 11 years but still, that's incredible to me.) My cousin with Endo in IN, cannot convince a Doctor to sterilize her, because she's not 40, & hasn't had children. It disgusts me so much to think they prefer her to be in pain & able to procreate, rather than just help fix her pain, & let her live life as she intends. While I don't live in IN anymore, I'm so so grateful my Doc here wasn't that way when I asked for my tubal last November.
Hello! Lady from the video here- has your cousin looked into the doctor list on reddit? Under r/childfree there's a list of doctors in the US, broken down my state, who are friendly or at least receptive to the CF lifestyle. That's how I found the doctor who sterilized me in '18. Best of luck!
Wish they would’ve have another woman talk to her. And maybe someone non religious.. I feel like there are questions to be asked and answered about having babies that are really tied to being pregnant and giving birth to them, it changes your body forever and that would’ve been an interesting discussion to touch upon where both parties understood that. I just see too many guys who want a shit load of children because the physical process of it and the child rearing responsibilities don’t fall on them..
I think they both did a good job! Being so opposite and views they both were able to talk through and be excepting of each other's differences. For me this is one of the better interviews.
This is kinda annoying. It seems to really place it on whether or not you're religious will mean whether or not you want kids. There are sooooo many other reasons women like me are opting out of children.
Agreed! I think. Both sides were misrepresented.
If a woman doesn't want kids and kids annoy her she should def not have them and not be shamed for it. Period. Full stop. I also think climate change isn't a good reason not not have them but to each his own. Every person has to live their own life for them. No right or wrong answers.
Absolutely LOVED their conversation, and how well chosen they seemed to be to represent their different chosen lifestyles!
This was really nice to watch. Its lovely to see 2 people who know how to have a civilized conversation about things they disagree on
If someone doesnt want to have kids, let them live the way they want. However, those who wana have kids, please keep the balance.
This is how two people of differing opinions communicate. Internet, take note.
Even in the tense moments they stay so respectful 😥 that's beautiful man
I love how open he is and non judgemental, good chat :)
Wow, she is a very strong woman. Women are forced into things socially we all know that, but she has some damn gutts! 💚
I like how she compares herself to an old woman. It helps me understand her attitude towards life. As a mother of 4 , pregnancy and child bearing was an interesting mix of youthfulness, and maturity. I don’t associate maturity with old age because I think experiences are what makes someone wise, yet I understand what she means by saying she’s always been “ an old woman” .
So nice to see people with such different views have a reasonable, respectful talk about it.
This is not a fair discussion. Should be a conversation between the left girl and the mother of 5, and discussing what she's lost in opportunity costs and how it'd affected her body (health wise)
I recommend reading "Better never to have been. The harm of coming into existence" by David Benatar, one of the most famous antinatalists
It was kinda creepy how she didn't feel like he was trying to charmingly get her to want kids, because that's what he obviously wanted. Not to share his point of view like she innocently did, no. He wanted to show this woman that he knew she had to get pregnant to give something to the world, to be fulfilled since he cannot conceive the fact that a person can achieve his/her goals without kids.
You really look way beyond what he's actually stating, right? Like you are a pro analyzing people?! Cmon...
This was a nice conversation. They were both very respectful of each others ideas despite coming from different places. I wish more people were like this.
This was such a good conversation! They were both respectful of each other's choices, of each other, and listened to each other really well. Like she said, I would have loved for them to have had a longer conversation. :)
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I love how respectful they both were 💜
I’ve stopped talking to men simply because they wanted kids and it just wasn’t for me I have better things to do
This was lovely. And I would love to have the chance to sit down and talk calmly to someone with different views.
That was a really nice normal open minded conversation between two healthy adults that know how to have a conversation and discuss differences respectfully and that's what this world needs more of.
This should be taught in schools and universities literally worldwide in every language.
Plus he is an actual real father when he stated he actually likes and enjoys and wants and prefers to spend time with his kids, that's what a child needs from both parents to be normal and healthy.