People often forget companies are not paying influencers for a skill, they are paying to access to their audience. You the consumer are the product the influencer is selling, and companies are willing pay to high amounts to have access to you. It’s this strange dichotomy of being both the product and the consumer.
There is also a big vulnerability aspect about this that people want to avoid. Everyone wants to show up as the best version of themselves (understandably ofc) but it takes so much vulnerability to be like “hey I’m actually kinda bad at this but I want to try anyways.” Trying is so brave these days lol.
I’m a classically trained musician, went to music school, got a degree that was damn hard to achieve. Most music majors put in triple the time and work than more traditional majors. I currently work as an elementary music teacher, and I don’t think people understand that amount of work that my degree took because my job is to teach children now and teachers are seen as lesser. So this spoke to me about how people equate success to the amount of fame or money you make out of it, without understanding the skills someone has that are just not compensated accurately
you hit on two points here, the art described in the video essay. But also the fact that becoming a teacher usually is not revered even though a degree and certification are needed to be one. People talk all the time about how much work teacher's put in the job for not fair compensation, but people miss that teachers also put in the work before they have the job too.
You have to find other ways to use your skills and , I hope, make additional money. If you have summer off, maybe create content that helps others in your situation.
First of all; I wanna commend the work you put in as I myself love music so much. Have you considered becoming a band instructor? Even in schooling I mean; No clue if there’s a difference in pay and I know a suggestion to switch careers it’s way easier said than done but just a thought as that’s one of the people who impacted my life the most. And on assumption alone I would have to assume they make more but I could very well be wrong. Just wanted to say I appreciate you either way ❤🎉
I think there’s something really cool about posting things and nobody is watching them. Like you have the time to figure out what style you want to have before the viral part happens. It’s being in your own little bubble
First of all, this sounds a lot more like being afraid of being exposed then content in being unknown. I can relate. Second, I can't see the value though. You feel better but its so much worse. Why make anything that is useless? Why make a road nobody uses, a song nobody hears, or a book nobody reads. To Live without changing a single thing in the entire world? Why live?
i desperately wanted to be a dancer when i was younger but my dad forced me to do piano and i ended up quitting that anyway. i’m an adult now and still have interest in dancing as i picked it up as a hobby in school but i feel so embarrassed because i’m a beginner. i’m just so scared of embarrassing myself. to be cringe is to be free.
you should keep dancing!! i grew up as a dancer and all it takes is practice to get to where you wanna be :) i hope you keep it up especially if it makes u happy
I used to dance in middle school and was very very good at it, but I eventually quit. Almost 9 years later I started again and feel so much shame that I am awful at it, I have no stamina, I can’t touch my toes, etc. It’s so embarrassing but we’ve got this!! I’m still going to classes because it is still fun to dance no matter how poorly.
I made a tweet thread a couple years back that went semi-viral (Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy ended up wishing me a happy birthday because of it, which was nice), and I had friends ask me afterwards "So, what did you do to make it go viral? How did you know it would blow up?" But I really had no idea it would. I just took a bunch of photos and made a long-ass Twitter thread about my Batman-themed birthday, haha! It's really a crap shoot. I didn't think anyone was actually gonna see it and like it. 😅
@@sparkymularkey6970That's the key!!!! Create for the pure joy and sake of creation. Not for fame or recognition. It has to be pure and without any ulterior motive.
At the ripe age of 14 I already felt too old to try new things and didn’t - Imagine the things I could have done!! That’s why I’ve decided to just go for it now. Kinda like when you look at a picture of your younger self and are in disbelief you ever thought you were ugly. I don’t want to look back and imagine the things I could have done if I was confident!
“To have evidence of effort is to fail” I posted TH-cam vlogs for the first time in a while and I felt a lot of embarrassment. This video made me feel seen
We don't see kids as failures for being unskilled because we don't see them as peers, the other 10yo are pointing, laughing and cringing. On the other hand, have you ever watched a review for a movie with child actors? Even respectful reviewers are very critical of them. But I agree we should have the same compassion with ourselves that we have for a kid.
This is really thoughtful -- genuinely helping me re-contextualize some of the insecurities I've developed after having graduated with degrees in the arts but then having kept my creative life mostly private and separate from my working life in the years since. I hope we can all work toward a healthier appreciation for the validity of our own creativity. Thanks for sharing this, and keep up the good work here!
I was literally just talking about this with my sister. I posted my first TH-cam video after years of wanting to do so and I was so embarrassed by it that I barely promoted it. I only posted a link to it on my knitting Instagram profile and didn’t dare to put it on my personal account where I had more followers who know me in real life. I was actually going to post another video a few days ago but I didn’t because I was embarrassed by the quality of it and the fact that I only had 16 views on my first video (and I’m sure at least 5 of them were from me watching it).
Imposter Syndrome is pet of it as well. A mentor one time told me that imposter syndrome means that you’re doing the right thing because you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Even though it does feel shitty. And then yeah I can see how ‘15 views’ doesn’t feel good, but most people do go through that. Please make sure to post your second video! You got this!
@@Inner-Gold Thank you for this! I actually deleted the second video I recorded but I got a tripod and a microphone so I haven't officially given up yet. Hopefully, the quality change will make me feel more confident.
@@MandyRoeskejust subscribed to your channel. Keep it up . I’m trying to post videos as well. It’s so hard when you put in all this work a.Then the video barely gets views . But you creating it and posting is courage in itself . Take it step by step . You making the video is success : you editing is success . You commenting here your vulnerability is success . Keep it up ! You’re not alone in this ! You got it !
@@MandyRoeske new subscriber. Haven’t seen any videos but extending a hand of support. It’s not easy stepping out. But here’s another voice giving you a push to keep going. 🤍
23:57 Omg.. I felt this in my soul. In my 30’s I finally got the nerve to call a dance studio to ask if they had beginner classes. They said yes. I showed up and they looked at me and said: “oh the class is for YOU?” It was mortifying. I’m not dancer thin, but a little overweight; but I had the stamina because I practiced in my house all the time. I’m almost 40 and still stuck in that thought that I missed out. Missed out learning a new language. Missed out picking up a life skill. It’s frustrating.
It’s never too late to do what you love. You have to give yourself that push and trust you can do it. Life is too short to spend any of it worrying, use your time wisely
Have you seen MYLEE dance channel? I’m also 40 and have a playlist of her dance routines that I follow in my bedroom 😂 I too have looked for beginner adult classes but found they’re just for kids. Boo!
I'm rooting for you! I have those thoughts of feeling like I missed my chance but slowly and surely I'm going for all my dreams even if I do them badly 😂
THIS!!! even just talking about these things starts to change the culture. encourage yourself, encourage your friends and let’s create beautiful things together 😁🫧
That "time is passing anyway so I might as well do something that I enjoy, whether I'll become successful or not" really resonates with me. I'm on a journey of artistic pursue and it is not easy to stay motivated all the time. I stumbled upon your video at the right time. Thanks! ❤
This is so real. I've just started posting video's where I'm talking. I realize I have fun filming, editing and even watching back the final cut, but man it takes everything I've got to hit publish. It's definitely a cringe element but I'm working on itt
The "deserving" aspect made me think of the recent ozempic discussions. There was always this (fatphobic) idea to deserve respect, you need to be thin and you need to earn your thinness (kinda like health version of the american dream if you work hard and stay dedicated you'll get results). Then these medications come along and people now have access to thinness, and many people shame those who use it (even those who genuinely need it) because they didn't "earn" their weight loss. Obviously the topic is way more complex but I was immediately reminded of it.
that’s an amazing connection. same thing goes for like plastic surgery… we don’t view someone’s beauty as their luck in the genetic lottery when it’s natural, but when someone DARES to use surgery to fit the mold then the only thing they deserve is ridicule. Our standards for what makes “hard work” are so backwards and generally not applicable to all situations
goes back to “pull yourself by your bootstraps….” it’s supposed to be physically impossible (lift yourself in the air with your bootstraps), yet it’s a phrase used now to equate to pulling through
At my highschool, if it ever got out the wrong person had a youtube channel, kids would write the channel name all over the white boards and that person would get bullied on and offline :/ I remember I was so scared of them finding my old animation memes
it suckss! had a similar experience growing up, the desire to create hasn't left though. However alot of the people who mocked others for sharing things see youtube and other platforms so differently now. It used to be just for fun back then too. But it's never too late to get back to it ❤
as someone studying digital communications and internet culture, I ate this content up. I've always thought about this and never could explain it well, but your video perfectly encapulates it. Thats what I miss most about the era of social media when it first started. You could post a photo of your pizza slice with a bad filter and it would be okay if 3 people liked it because those were your closest friends. There was no concept of large followings yet.
I’ve been on TH-cam for over 10 years with very committed season s and breaks in between. I haven’t been “successful” like I had hoped and am constantly trying to push away the shame of thinking I suck because of it. I try to remember that I love the whole process of making videos and have grown as a person from the experience so I should continue and disregard those horrible thoughts. It’s difficult…but who knows where this journey will lead me
honestly this video was so great, you hit on so many things that i've been thinking about lately, especially about wanting to be immediately good at new hobbies as an adult. i got into posting videos last year, and i hit a wall a couple months ago when i felt like nothing i did was 'good enough' and I haven't posted in 2024 at all. i've been waiting for a perfect 'spark' to get me back into it, but i think that's the wrong mindset -- i probably just need to make something silly and fun regardless of how it is going to be perceived or received, and let everything flow from there. love watching your channel grow, all the best!
Thank you so much!! I totally agree!! What I keep telling myself is “it can be perfect or it can get uploaded” and that usually forces me to the right mindset!! We all struggle with it so much, I wish you all the best with your channel!
This reminded me of my struggle in college with advanced chemistry. My friend said-“ no one cares about your grade, you aren’t going into the sciences. D is Done!”
I think as you get older you really don’t care to be bad at something or staring a new hobby, you truly do it for you and because you love it. I started surfing at 30, skateboarding at 42, and picked up a guitar at 48! Live a 1000 lives. In the end no one cares, so do your thing! (Look up the spotlight effect. We are all under our own spotlight). Loved this video. Very thought provoking!❤️
This was so well worded! I've struggled with my creative side for so long because of the fear of being perceived. I'm hesitant about showing others what i create bacause... "What if it's actually bad?". For a long time I've used the excuse of "just practicing until it's good enough to be seen", but deep down i know that this fear will continue to exist if i don't stop being afraid of making "bad art". Like you said, bad art is good for the soul!! We should absolutely be creating without caring about whether it is perfect or not! The funny thing is, at least in my case, I don't even plan on making my art a profession. It is literally just a hobby and i still feel that "embarrassment". Anyways, im rambling, but this video was food for thought, I'll probably be thinking about this one for a long time, lol.
Great stuff as always! Been thinking about this a lot lately--and my only real solution to the anxiety is the old adage to "be so good, they can't ignore you" - head down, do the work, and trust that excellence will eventually find the opportunity. And, like you said, the time spent on art will always be intrinsically worth it.
this video hit me so hard lol. just yesterday i had an experience that resonates so hard with so much of what you're talking about. basically i commented on the post of a content creator that i really like expressing my frustration that they take so many opportunities to sell merch and that so much of their content has included ads and sponsorships recently. for context, i’m not usually an angry commenter. i commented this after scrolling through the comments and seeing that about half of them were people saying they were broke, not getting paid for a while and hoping the merch would still be available, or saying they had spent more money on this merch than they should have according to their budget (yes, probably as a joke, but i think it still says something just how many of these comments were directly referencing being poor). first of all my experience just posting that *comment* and getting a mild amount of engagement (like 8 replies - most disagreeing) made me feel similarly to the way you described the feeling as posting online as a content creator, but instead of my talent being judged, it was the morality of my stance?either way, it gave me so much anxiety. several people pointed out in response to my comment that this is the content creator's job, and that no one has to buy their merch. i responded saying i had initially commented too emotionally and had since realized it wasn't actually the creator i was pissed at, it was capitalism. someone else said that i was, in a way, doing the same thing as this content creator by posting my art online (i had commented from my art account). i felt a little hurt at the accusation that i was a content creator - i wasn't trying to make money from this! i was just posting my art online! i think this video helped me realize that part of not wanting to be called a content creator - or "worse," as you pointed out: an aspiring content creator - was that i was afraid of being perceived as someone who wants and believes i deserve attention. the next responder to my comment said that "we don't live in a fantasy world" where artists are guaranteed to be paid fairly for their work, and as a non-broke person, they were willing to chip in to pay artists they like. (like you said, all of our money pays everyone's salary, but with artists, there's this idea that their art needs to be "good" for them to deserve money.) they said if i had an etsy/shop linked on my page, they would be willing to check it out and maybe pitch in. my friend, when i read this particular comment to them, wondered aloud if they would support my hypothetical etsy if my art was bad. i've spent a lot of time thinking about this experience these past couple days, and i've come to realize that for some reason i had some anger directed at this influencer whose content i genuinely enjoy, specifically because they were taking advantage of opportunities they are offered because of their success. this video pointed out so many reasons why i might have these negative feelings towards content creators who have "succeeded," and why i seem to have this idea that they need to "deserve" their success. it's crazy how deeply ingrained these biases are. now that it's all spelled out, i can see that i disagree with these ideas. but it also makes sense that we would resent people who get loads of money for doing so little when so many people work so much harder and have so much less money. you articulated so many of the things i have been rolling over in my mind and helped me draw connections i wouldn't have otherwise seen. the 2 phrases that really hit me were "nobody deserves to be famous and wealthy" and "consuming bad art is good for the soul." whew didnt mean to write a whole freakin essay there!!!!!! awesome video!!! i put it in my art insta bio in case any of my haters from that comment interaction happen to be looking at my profile LOL. this articulated what i would want to tell them way better than i could.
I've read your essay! Thanks for sharing your experience, I understand the frustration of seeing those comments (the people wanting to buy merch, even when they have little money). I often wonder about how parasocial relations play into that as well. My frugality has so far always stopped me, but I was tempted many time to buy merch just to feel closer to a youtuber, closer to the audience. For the sense of community - some folks making up names for their followers plays into the same notion. And there I a paradoxical shame I feel whenever I make fanart or anything of that nature, like I'm trying to climb someone's back, just to get a small drop of their ability to garner attention. As an artist myself I feel really frustrated by social media, and the pressure to perform. I'm really bad at it. I mostly do traditional art, but my skills doesn't shine on a screen, and my ideas needs time to be processed- I have no idea how to translate things to the 10 second digital format. But I strongly crave an audience. I need support and community, and I do my art not for myself but to share. The video above really spoke to me, and so did your comment. This frustration. And yes, the shame of sharing something, let it be an artwork or a comment. Strange strange times.
@@hollerbachemil7349 thanks for reading and for your insight!! i think parasocial relationships and the need for community definitely play into this, especially people’s emotional responses. i like what you said about trying to climb someone’s back. that can really be how it feels. it’s rough out here and everything is so complicated. hope you can still find connection and peace of mind in these wild times!!!
I can’t believe I finally found someone who can make a TLDR length comment like myself…❤❤ I think the most glaring difference is that you actually have people (myself included) who concur and nobody (hopefully none will) has told you anything critical. I have thinner skin and I have no idea what to do or how I feel when something I left a long response to is responded to by suggesting I start a blog sincerely I “have all those syllables to inflict on the internet.” Kinda funny though kinda mean…. And it’s not like my words are the most unwholesome thing to happen to the internet…
I think the reason degrees in the arts are viewed as not a correlation to talent or success is for three main reasons: 1. Art isn’t really a tangible skill that can be measured. Art is subjective - just because someone creates art doesn’t mean the art will be perceived well by the public. Also just because art is created, doesn’t mean it has a market and market value. So something simple like kids drawings - the average joe kid drawing isn’t viewed as something with market value, but if joe has a terminal illness and his art is for a fundraiser, that has potential market value. The art itself could be the same, but the reason is in the price. There are talented artists like Banksy whose pieces are worth millions but we don’t even know who they are, which adds to the mystique. In Brick Lane alone, there’s 3-4 Banksy but they are constantly being threatened to be destroyed because developers want to put a shopping mall there (🤮) 2. Art doesnt have professional certifications as a barrier to entry. Jobs like engineering, law, doctors, plumbing, electricians, dentists, accountants, etc have certifications which add value to the professions and keep the quality to a standard. It’s illegal to practice medicine without medical training or to build a public bridge without engineers. Anyone can make art so there can be an unlimited supply of it by anyone. 3. Many successful people have become famous artists without any qualifications. Look how many legendary musicians have no musical training, they are self-taught and yet became icons. The only difference between them and someone else is talent. It’s kind of like sports - professional athletes are good at let’s say basketball but have little to no transferable skills. They are just good at those specific skills. Its the same as art in many ways - we don’t idolize artists for their professional aptitude but by their “start power” (how big of performance and personality they are). Probably why so many narcissists are also famous because notoriety isn’t a goal or pathology for everyone. In summation: the lack of barriers to entry means that art and the monetization of art only exists in a capitalistic society and is purely market driven. Yes it is true, art relies on capitalism to thrive. if we all lived in a society that was either centrally planned like communism or barter based, we wouldn’t value art as anything monetary - for art to thrive, there needs to be leisure and disposable income. Science oddly is very similar to this - any discovery outside of survival is because we have leeway to explore and research and create.
I totally agree with you about making art just for the sake of it and for the joy in it. But yeah thats the monetization part I was thinking about. I do think failure is a biological fear - if we fail we risk getting rejected from the tribe. Embarrassment and shame is our survival mechanisms to keep in line with the group and therefore stay alive. Idk how much unpacking can be done but i am super interested
If we had communism, then art would barely have monetary value, nor allowed to be published at all, and if it was, it would be highly censored. Pls don’t romanticize communism
The fact that you are a video essayist and a software engineer just made me smile. There is something comforting about seeing others explore their other interests. I think I need to do that more. Make space for other parts of me 😪
modern art and the successful artists in modern art, are wealthy and are influential and thats why modern art exists. anyone can be an artist, as long as you have a good influence. taught to me by various teachers and mentors. skill honestly has nothing to do with success anymore
@@LilyGazou I came to that conclusion when I went to a weird art studio space that was giving free art spaces to random artists, who were wealthy, white, and men. went there as an apprentice and was bummed I wasn't offered a space. realized later it was a genius move on the owner, charitable cause for tax right offs and easy way to claim his money that is definitely illegal. every single one of the artists there were involved in stocks, NFTs, or whatever
Barry and bojack horseman talk about this a lot like the actors that start their own career you just have to not worry about it and push through it and be the best at least in my opinion. The Information Age is insane I love it but this weird algorithm and making something so good that no one can look away but I've seen that the algroythm is how people want to see it's a tool for us to use so let's use it for our benefit!
Girl I feel this because sometimes I get a cool comment or something and I want to tell my friends or sister and I can’t because I will die before I tell them I have a channel bahaha if they find it before I blow up then it is what it is but I cannot face them first lol. But we have to stop caring! Everything is embarrassing and nothing is real 🫡
I feel this soooooo hard. As someone with creative aspirations, you did a phenomenal job of consolidating a number of thoughts, insecurities, and social critiques, I ruminate on that typically feel so disjointed! I haven’t watched any of your other videos but I hope you make more content like this and get more subs!!! (Initially I typed that you deserve more subs, but after the convo about how no one “deserves” fame, my overthinking brain edited it out lol)
Wow, this explained a feeling I didn't even know I had 😮 I so feel this embarrassment about hobbies, but I have such strong need to be creative and express myself that that often overrides my embarrassment. But it probably limits how much I share with people.
dude. as an art student this exact topic plagues my mind on the daily- you could not have put it to words better. thank you for making this, it validated a lot of observations I've been having but didn't have the language or cohesive thinking to fully grasp them with
really enjoyed this video. getting introspective and questioning human beings in general can lead us down so many (worm - rabbit- loop) - holes but I think its good to keep being curious about why things are the way they are and the way they have gotten to be so that change and growth can be made, whether that be chnages in society or changes to ourselves as people. trying to comment more when i like a video cause i dont really comment a lot lol but heres to creating things.
This is one of my favorite videos ever. I uploaded a video a few months ago (albeit a bad one) about how it’s okay to like bad art. I’m a true believer in creating and doing cringey things because it’s good for the soul. A lot of art is subjective, some is objective, and if you like it then good! I’m also writing a book and I agree with you that even if it never gets published and it never comes together in a masterful way, I would never regret writing it. It proves that I can achieve feats I never thought were possible. I didn’t start writing to be published, I started to simply create. Somewhere along the way I became more aware of what others perceptions of those creation were, causing me to be fearful of trying to publish. Making TH-cam videos and writing are two very vulnerable things to do. You have to look a little silly and be imperfect in order to hone the craft, and even then no one is ever 100% perfect at anything. And at the end of the day, the majority of famous people, and especially influencers, simply marketed themselves in the right way (which is also a skill) whether intentionally or unintentionally 🤷🏼♀️
Amazing video. Wanted to add to your latest “why” that it’s kind of connected to the fear of learning, fear of being a human, imperfect, of being seen as your authentic imperfect self as you learn. Cause when someone’s “got there” we perceive them as perfect, they have more budget to cover their flaws, more people, more fans to do that for them. They start to have a shield to have a more controlled way to be vulnerable and express themself. They no longer are afraid to be seen, because it’s safe now. So it’s about us feeling unsafe to be vulnerable as we are, now, without any shields, without any backup. And learning is failing over and over again to understand how to do something “right”, you need to let go of your ego for a long time if you want to learn something, allow yourself to be bad, imperfect, vulnerable in your expression.
I think in this hyper-materialistic superficial age we find ourselves passengers of, the most radical thing we can do is establish a platform that promotes true vulnerability/authenticity. Even a smidgen of mindfulness on social media goes such a long way now. Now, if you even mention to someone you’ve begun a meditation practice, they think you’ve undergone the rites of asceticism or something. People are simply searching for something greater, uncovering what truly makes them feel alive. At this particular moment in time and the near future, your passions are what will set you apart; they could literally be like your currency. Being true to yourself has the potential to reshape the public consciousness, dismantle consumerist culture, and completely shine a light on the chasm-like divide between 15-minute trends on TikTok and what truly matters: getting back in touch with our true essence.
this video was so enjoyable to watch, I have so many thoughts to contribute but I’m no where near as articulate as you are! I’m glad the algorithm pushed your content to me more than once so I could enjoy it again
@@meredithnovaco (this took me so long in notes app to organize aha) I was thinking specifically about the points you made regarding “deserving” fame, and how we almost expect a perfect balance of talent and luck WITHOUT outside influence/a leg up- but that changes once we consider the celebrity to have sacrificed something. Even with nepo babies (such as Drew Barrymore) we consider them MORE deserving of fame because of the abuse they had to endure within Hollywood. Especially with the timing of this video coming out around ‘Quiet on Set’ It makes me wonder if the “perfect person” mentality we have of celebrities is directly tied to our romanticism of mental illness- I can think of several examples of specifically women in the industry that aren’t criticized because the “luck” we expect of celebrities is replaced with “endurance”. I feel as though it further breaks down the celebrity system as a whole- what kind of system is it if we can only “earn” it through luck or through putting up with horrendous abuse?
Hmmmm social media as modern art…this is a really great take. I’ve been struggling myself with the value of social media posting so this was a good one.
Love your take on this! I’ve gone thru phases of judging people i knew in high school who are trying to be influencers, but as i’ve started exploring my own artistry i’ve had to let go of that judgement and redefine “failure.”
so many good points in this essay!! I really connected with the end where i hate that it brings shame/feels bad to be bad at something. Whenever I think about trying something new, no matter how badly I want to try it, because it takes skill that I haven't yet acquired I don't end up trying it
There's something else to it: The problem with extrinsic motivation. I don't want to subject certain aspects of my life to external scrutiny (I love knitting but I don't post about it ever). This is because when we allow something we have made to be judged by others, it is no longer our own in a way. There's a study with children (which I hope I remember correctly, don't quote me pls): They have access to painting supplies. Some of the kids actually enjoy painting. Other kids don't seek it out as much. Then, a reward enters the equation: The kids are given an external reward (praise and candy) for what they've created. What ends up happending is that initially the kids paint more, but when the reward is removed, all kids stop painting, even the ones that were initially doing it out of their own volition. The existence of an external reward has effectively killed of the intrinsic motivation. I don't want that to happen to my knitting. I do it for myself because I love it, and I don't want an external reward to ruin my own sense of accomplishment.
I don’t know if this is the quote you were thinking of, but it seems relevant anyway: “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” - often attributed to John Steinbeck, but not 100% sure on that.
such an amazing video! thanks a lot for all of these thoughts saying out loud. as someone who wants to perceive a content creator career since 14 y.o. age (it’s been 10 years for me since then) i feel so relatable to the feeling of cringe and embarrassment while trying to just start. you’re so inspiring, send you hello from saint-petersburg!
Even posting comments or trying to join a discourse feels like a humiliation ritual online. Just being public facing in any sense becomes strange and out of touch. Everyone is so ready to be cryptic and ready to create a contrived contention. You can ask a simple question or clarification and it’s perceived as an attack. Just swinging fists out the gate. I get there are tone markers that can make for difficulty communicating, but it’s just not worth engaging people these days online. I’m just leading into how double edge being successful online is. You accept the role as this Parasocial figure that’s unreal and can be used as a product or talking point. It can flip to negative discourse just as fast as the success comes for the sake of entertainment. Social media is so dehumanizing and it’s kind of funny just because it goes against the concept. It’s supposed to be social and connecting. Or maybe our human nature will always make us spoil things that seem good on paper.
oh my gosh... you literally just put what I've been trying to say and morphed it into word by word literature. Thank you so much for explaining this 😩♥
THANK YOU for your succinct and powerful thoughts on something really unspoken. Best of luck in your TH-cam career you rock!! (Also future topic id love to hear your thoughts on : aging in art)
I needed this video. I keep thinking about deleting my channel because I'm afraid of embarrassing my friends and family lol. Because I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying so hard to just embrace the journey of creativity. This is who I've always been and I'm tired of holding myself back because of fear of what others think of my failures, there are many lol. It's nice to know there are people who appreciate people just doing it no matter what. ❤
YESSSSSSSSS I’d even say All humans deserve to make a living doing something easy like housing & financial security shouldn’t be something so difficult to attain. Easy to THEM is what i mean specifically cuz we all have differences in what work is easy to us i think. & we all deserve the free time to have hobbies we can enjoy
this is one of the best vid essays i have watched in a long timeee. you unpack so much “mundane” things that are integrated in our minds that we dont even think about, and when you articulate them and relate them to each other is such a ‘mindblowing’ thing bc it’s been there all along, we just haven’t thought about it. so good :)
Spot on, great video. Weird how u know me so well 😆. There is an element to this that I think is maybe overlooked or at least rings true for me though. So I actually created completely separate socials when I decided to try creating content that weren’t linked to any of my existing accounts. I did this because I didn’t want (and this is the important part Right here) people that I know IRL to see me failing or even trying to create content. I have absolutely no problem with strangers seeing me try and fail. It’s those friends from high school, people I see at the grocery store around town, at local events, family, friends etc.. that I absolutely couldn’t cope with them seeing me try. It’s made it a little more comfortable to give it a go, but I do live in constant fear that someone I know will stumble across it in the algorithm and then tell everyone I know and they’ll all just be laughing and pointing at me behind my back. It haunts me 😅
Little bit of a rough start but once you started going it was incredible, you are very good at clearly and concisely articulating complex societal ideas.
thank you for bringing up this discourse. the recurring thought i kept having when listening, was "why this focus on embarrassment?" as a rhetorical. explaining, soothing, deconstructing all these "why"s [of not being famous but trying = bad. & being famous = not cringe] seems to be treating the symptom, rather than the cause. since i was about 12, i've spent a good chunk of time consuming & being familiar with different generational dynamics, the coming-of-age experience, the loss of community, how "art" fits in with identity &c. it's probably a bit "too sincere ™️" or not sharp enough to comes across as well in 2024, but looking up "taming the mammoth" was the first thing i came across in my early teens that helped me realize a lot of things. i also think about the quote "you'll stop worrying what people think about you when you realize how rarely they ever do." ofc, i know this is easier said than done. i wish community for everyone, parasocial or otherwise. hype your friends up & fall in love with them. support each other in the ways you can; post proudly & as often as you want. fukx shame. all my homies hate shame.
Thank you so much for this. As someone who has a music degree and desperately wants to make it as a musician and voice actor now it means a lot to have someone humanizing artists. We aren’t just good or bad. We are either successful or unsuccessful many times and I will keep trying until I die to make art. Thank you for sharing yours ❤
This is so relevant to me. I have 3 art degrees, work in graphic design, and outside of what I do for work, I basically do not exist on social media at all. I stopped posting in 2020 and honestly, it took a ton of stress and anxiety out of my life - I have not missed it. I have made a lot of things (drawings, paintings, writing, handicrafts, food, clothing), but they are all for myself and my own benefit. I've had friends in real life question me about why I haven't posted about any of it, and it's because I don't see the need to share it for any reason. The value it has to me, is simply in the act of creation and that process. I have wondered if I would ever want to post things I've made online ever again, but for myself, any internet reaction (good or bad) would be too much to handle - the attention itself feels ... painful? Now, I don't feel that way when I share things with friends in real life, but there is something about how social media is, that makes attention like a laser beam rather than a flashlight on whatever you're doing (good or bad). I feel that the "hyper private" or "mysterious" celebrities might have it totally right. Anywho, I have to say effort put to learn anything is not effort wasted so, I hope other people continue to do things poorly until they get better for their own sake - you can learn a lot of things about yourself and your craft by just doing them. And yes, I recently went to a terrible local improv show and clapped the whole time, even if they weren't that funny. We should celebrate genuine artistic effort, rather than only the finished product.
Thank you for this video! It came up on my feed. Happy to subscribe! I so feel being scared to try new things as an adult. I didn’t have access to many hobbies as a kid. I always thought this was an individual deep flaw-I’m relieved to hear it’s not just me!
Also, I'd like to add one other point in addition to my you rock comment- one thing that is quite annoying about pursuing a career as an artist is that people always assume that you really want is fame when in reality most of us just want to make a decent living which you unfortunately can't do without being in the public eye.
Such an excellent vid! And too relatable. In my experience, nothing is as humbling as putting your work out there amongst others, such as a comic/anime convention, where your success is literally counted in the sales you make, face to face with customers. You are surrounded by people of all different levels of talent, some with huge social followings, and others with small ones. Seeing yourself in the midst of that really brings the feeling of embarrassment into your headspace if you let it get to you. Another related tangent is the feeling of having too many creative endeavors because you really aren’t successful at a particular one, which I’m guilty of.
Thank you for this video! I was doing so many things when I was younger, in childhood and teenage years: singing, drawing/painting, classic guitar playing, writing. And now in my twenties I've been feeling like I don't really have the right to do any of it because I'm rusty and whatever would come out would fall flat. The bar I set for myself is so high and I'm a perfectionist to boot, so I feel judged by my own standards ;_; It's been a struggle to find unashamed joy in doing those things again and picking up new stuff as well. I'm working on it though and trying to open myself up to pure experience again 😊
Everything you said in this video was so smart and you explained your ideas so well. After watching it I realised another reason why I find it cringe when someone's artistic career is failing is because it's like they're struggling in plain sight e.g. struggling to make an income, struggling to achieve fame, struggling to establish a lasting career (which are things I assume they're trying to achieve). But weirdly enough I only feel this way about musicians and actors, when it comes to social media I don't feel that way because I do feel that there are an authentic few who just vlog because they like to be laid back in front of a camera, and also because I view being a successful lifestyle influencer as something that is largely determined by luck, so I don't view lifestyle influencers with smaller platforms as failures who didn't work hard enough.
Back in 2013 I shared a piece of writing I did to social media. It got a good response, so I shared another piece a few days later. This girl I knew commented on it, just saying "we get it". I took it down and haven't shared any writing since.
Just wanted to pop in and say, you said a lot of things that I've had swirling around in my head that I haven't been able to articulate in a thoughtful way, and I greatly appreciate the fact that you made this video. Also, same.
I am so happy this popped up on my feed! Thank you algorithm for showing me this video!!! I Kidd you not, I just made an Instagram video on why we get embarrassed for posting on social media when we have little too no followers. And why we should continue to do it no matter how embarrassing we feel! I have just started a TH-cam channel and have been taking my Instagram page more seriously but I disguise my embarrassment of being small by saying “I’m only doing it to feel free or as a hobby, not anything serious” WHICH ISNT TRUE😂! I do it because I actually like to do it and believe I have wisdom that people could benefit from. I have a lifestyle that I believe others enjoy to see and it may help them become a more confident in themselves to start living or doing the same! As I am also just trying the life I love & respect with confidence!! Thank you for this video❤
keep posting stuff like this. i’m also a software engineer hoping to switch to full time content creation and the stuff you said all made sense. subscribing!
This was so validating to hear that trying to do something is not something to be embarrassed about! Loved the vid, I'm gonna continue to share (bad?) art and I hope you do too 😂
This has been very smart video. And I hope you take what I'm going to say in the best way possible because that's the only way I mean it: I think your video about hunger games, especially the first one was very chaotic to the point where in other videos it would detract from the whole experience. If someone looked at it from like... I don't know... Some macro scale and rated it 'objectively' through some criteria its' overall score could be pretty low because as I said - it was very long, chaotic, it had a few strange ideas. But to me personally it didn't detract anything. It was honest and earnest and it allowed me to experience the excitement with you. The 'i only started doing it' vibe was relatable and fun. It made me want to see how you grow as a creator and that's why I watched all your videos since then. I gave it a shot and I loved it and I think it was great and I like to think that you did it to create a connection with people who also explore the book years later - not to game the algorithm or whatever. But me believing it was done for fun is also part of the issue you mentioned I think? We want to believe that creators do stuff for fun because making stuff for money 'feels' wrong and we lose trust in them. I'm of course not saying you made your video for money, that's not the point. I'm saying that I want to believe you didn't because it makes me like your content. It's a complicated issue - we want honesty from creators but also we don't? We want to believe what we want to believe - that they're just normal people doing normal things because then we don't mind the gap between us and them - that they're rich when we're not, that they have the platform while we do not - when we believe that they make stuff for fun we like them because we can relate to them and when they break that trust there's shock and backlash. I know it was a long comment but it's complicated issue. The point is - I like your content. I watched one video and then I subscribed and watched everything else. It doesn't matter if they're 'objectively' good or bad. They're good in my opinion and they're good in yours as a creator because you decided to post. I think that's good enough for both of us. See you in the next one❤
I totally get what you’re saying!! And I don’t take offense at all, I genuinely am enjoying making these videos so much and connecting with you guys has been amazing :) and chaotic is my main state of being!! BUT I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been nice to be monetized and see some money coming in off the channel. I wish we’d had this convo before I made the video bc this is making me think part of this is the internets inability to accept the nuance you pointed out in your comment, that people can love what they do AND make money off of it and be happy. It has to be one way or the other, you love what you do and would do it for free OR that you are after money and care about nothing else. I would wager most ((good)) TH-camrs are in the middle somewhere, as any human who needs to eat and pay bills would be. We all want a way to do that that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking out our souls, ya know?
Also, the end of this comment is super sweet, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it, and it’s viewers like you that make it easy for me to accept my videos and post them ❤️❤️ thank you for watching!!
This video isnt about what I thought it was going to be about, but as someone who just posted their first real video on TH-cam fully scripted, edited and all that jazz it still hit home and also touched on a lot of things i have thought about myself personally. Enjoyed this.
Wow what an amazing video! It really challenged my thoughts. There’s a big power in doing things even though you might fail. You’re a step ahead of people who don’t out of fear! Thank you for this.
I resonate so much with what you said in this video. I am trying to have a channel. I decided to create motivational, lighthearted content using Ai. The few people I showed it to kinda cringed at me. I only had real support from one friend and my husband lol. But I'll keep doing it for myself. I've always wanted to but due to health limitations I couldn't actually learn technical stuff. So now I'm really enjoying the process of using Ai to do something I wouldn't have had the skill or capacity to do before (I can write good scripts but not put images together, like ever). But there's also another side to this story: when you start doing art privately and tell someone about it, they usually say 'oh that's so cool, you should create an instagram or a TikTok/TH-cam!' and then you go and create it and they cringe 😭
Part of adding authenticity to the “hard work” of getting to “success” is enduring multiple failures. This applies to pretty much every field. My ex is a successful TH-camr and it took her 4-5 years to go full-time, and people made fun of her that whole time. I sell beer for a living and it took me years of working in stores and restaurants and working bad sales jobs before I finally got a good sales job, and again, I was viewed as, and felt like, a failure. Until I didn’t. I think the main critique of nepotism-babies is that they didn’t have to face failures or ever wonder “will I ever make it?”
Omg this video spoke to me so much. I'm trying to build an Instagram account right now for my art (that at the moment only has followers who are friends and family). I feel like an absolute fucking tool bag making posts and coming up with captions that contain calls to action, tags, etc. to encourage engagement because when people see my IG account, they'll just see me talking to nobody because I mostly get likes and no comments. I keep finding myself wanting to lay low and not appear cringe or like I want the engagement too much, but at the same time careers in the art world want to know about your instagram following as much as they want to see your portfolio. The social media game sucks
I thought about this last year. It dawned on me that if a video barely gets views, there's nothing to be embarrassed about because literally no one saw it ahahahaha!
Yep. Shame comes from a perceived “failure.” Once you’ve proven you’re not “successful” it gets so embarrassing it gets to a point where you just give up on your dreams. This is how I feel about my “failed” TH-cam channel. I made almost 500 TH-cam videos, but I gave it up because I didn’t even break 1,000 subs. I went after my dreams, but I did feel like after years and years of trying, I concluded I just wasn’t good enough. I hope some day I will feel different, but yeah, it’s really painful that I don’t even know what to do with my life now. Thanks for this video. 💔💔💔
I’m a musician who keeps to himself. We hate musicians trying to make it because: 1. They reinforce our fears surrounding pursuit of our own passions. Watching them try and try and try, well it first validates our choice not to pursue our passion, second it allows us to feel superior because “at least we made the right choice and aren’t out there like Mr. X failing all the time like a fool” 2. Once a musician has made it they receive broad social approval. We feel better joining the crowd. A sympathetic narrative usually surrounds the person at this point that increases our attraction towards the person.
In my TH-cam experience, Fame is toxic. And nowadays I can’t even go back and watch myself after I post a video, because I’m too critical and I cringe, lol.
Also thinking all creatives and artist want to be famous is very dumb.....a lot of people are super happy living their lives and creating exquisite art on the side with no expectations. 😊 Great video!
This was just so amazing and really how I feel. I wasn’t / am not as good at conveying my emotions but thank you so much from the bottom of my soul. What a beautiful human. Thank you so much. ❤❤
This video is like if someone took my brain out of my head and ran cold water over it and then plopped it right back in my cranium
In a good way I hope!! 😅 thank you!
ummmmm cool
very cool
It spins my brain dor 20 min without pause
I'm so curious, if your name Josh Washington or is your handle a reference to Until Dawn?
Real as hell
People often forget companies are not paying influencers for a skill, they are paying to access to their audience. You the consumer are the product the influencer is selling, and companies are willing pay to high amounts to have access to you. It’s this strange dichotomy of being both the product and the consumer.
Their skill is their ability to attract and maintain their audience.
@@sungexpression9093 true, but people often assume, if they are like a tiktoker for example, the skill is their “dancing” or “lip syncing”.
@@bria8481 meh it would still be the quality of dance
The ability to make relatable content that resonates
@@sungexpression9093quality is subjective. Someone could get famous for having really bad dance moves
@@Muhluri is that likely tho (it isn’t)
There is also a big vulnerability aspect about this that people want to avoid. Everyone wants to show up as the best version of themselves (understandably ofc) but it takes so much vulnerability to be like “hey I’m actually kinda bad at this but I want to try anyways.” Trying is so brave these days lol.
So true. For whatever reason it’s intolerable for us to let others see us struggle and not be very good
I’m a classically trained musician, went to music school, got a degree that was damn hard to achieve. Most music majors put in triple the time and work than more traditional majors. I currently work as an elementary music teacher, and I don’t think people understand that amount of work that my degree took because my job is to teach children now and teachers are seen as lesser. So this spoke to me about how people equate success to the amount of fame or money you make out of it, without understanding the skills someone has that are just not compensated accurately
you hit on two points here, the art described in the video essay. But also the fact that becoming a teacher usually is not revered even though a degree and certification are needed to be one. People talk all the time about how much work teacher's put in the job for not fair compensation, but people miss that teachers also put in the work before they have the job too.
clocked
You have to find other ways to use your skills and , I hope, make additional money. If you have summer off, maybe create content that helps others in your situation.
First of all; I wanna commend the work you put in as I myself love music so much. Have you considered becoming a band instructor? Even in schooling I mean; No clue if there’s a difference in pay and I know a suggestion to switch careers it’s way easier said than done but just a thought as that’s one of the people who impacted my life the most. And on assumption alone I would have to assume they make more but I could very well be wrong. Just wanted to say I appreciate you either way ❤🎉
I think there’s something really cool about posting things and nobody is watching them. Like you have the time to figure out what style you want to have before the viral part happens. It’s being in your own little bubble
Yes to this; that is why I have a website with a blog. It’s like going to New York City to be alone.
Nice attitude. I even made a screenshot of your comment ❤
Nice attitude! I even made a screenshot of your comment❤
That makes me feel better abt my small art acc :,) thanks
First of all, this sounds a lot more like being afraid of being exposed then content in being unknown. I can relate.
Second, I can't see the value though. You feel better but its so much worse. Why make anything that is useless? Why make a road nobody uses, a song nobody hears, or a book nobody reads. To Live without changing a single thing in the entire world? Why live?
i desperately wanted to be a dancer when i was younger but my dad forced me to do piano and i ended up quitting that anyway. i’m an adult now and still have interest in dancing as i picked it up as a hobby in school but i feel so embarrassed because i’m a beginner. i’m just so scared of embarrassing myself. to be cringe is to be free.
Please, go ahead and try dancing!
you should keep dancing!! i grew up as a dancer and all it takes is practice to get to where you wanna be :) i hope you keep it up especially if it makes u happy
it takes courage to allow yourself to be bad at something, be proud of that
I used to dance in middle school and was very very good at it, but I eventually quit. Almost 9 years later I started again and feel so much shame that I am awful at it, I have no stamina, I can’t touch my toes, etc. It’s so embarrassing but we’ve got this!! I’m still going to classes because it is still fun to dance no matter how poorly.
Babe you gotta just try! Everyone is a beginner at some point.
gaming the algorythim is the modern day version of rain dances and sacrificing goats to the harvest gods
👏👏👏
Yep
I made a tweet thread a couple years back that went semi-viral (Mark Hamill and Kevin Conroy ended up wishing me a happy birthday because of it, which was nice), and I had friends ask me afterwards "So, what did you do to make it go viral? How did you know it would blow up?" But I really had no idea it would. I just took a bunch of photos and made a long-ass Twitter thread about my Batman-themed birthday, haha! It's really a crap shoot. I didn't think anyone was actually gonna see it and like it. 😅
@@sparkymularkey6970That's the key!!!! Create for the pure joy and sake of creation. Not for fame or recognition. It has to be pure and without any ulterior motive.
This was genius. It’s why I read comments.
At the ripe age of 14 I already felt too old to try new things and didn’t - Imagine the things I could have done!! That’s why I’ve decided to just go for it now. Kinda like when you look at a picture of your younger self and are in disbelief you ever thought you were ugly. I don’t want to look back and imagine the things I could have done if I was confident!
“To have evidence of effort is to fail”
I posted TH-cam vlogs for the first time in a while and I felt a lot of embarrassment. This video made me feel seen
We don't see kids as failures for being unskilled because we don't see them as peers, the other 10yo are pointing, laughing and cringing. On the other hand, have you ever watched a review for a movie with child actors? Even respectful reviewers are very critical of them. But I agree we should have the same compassion with ourselves that we have for a kid.
This is really thoughtful -- genuinely helping me re-contextualize some of the insecurities I've developed after having graduated with degrees in the arts but then having kept my creative life mostly private and separate from my working life in the years since. I hope we can all work toward a healthier appreciation for the validity of our own creativity. Thanks for sharing this, and keep up the good work here!
Thank you so much!! ❤️❤️
I was literally just talking about this with my sister. I posted my first TH-cam video after years of wanting to do so and I was so embarrassed by it that I barely promoted it. I only posted a link to it on my knitting Instagram profile and didn’t dare to put it on my personal account where I had more followers who know me in real life. I was actually going to post another video a few days ago but I didn’t because I was embarrassed by the quality of it and the fact that I only had 16 views on my first video (and I’m sure at least 5 of them were from me watching it).
Imposter Syndrome is pet of it as well. A mentor one time told me that imposter syndrome means that you’re doing the right thing because you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Even though it does feel shitty. And then yeah I can see how ‘15 views’ doesn’t feel good, but most people do go through that. Please make sure to post your second video!
You got this!
@@Inner-Gold Thank you for this! I actually deleted the second video I recorded but I got a tripod and a microphone so I haven't officially given up yet. Hopefully, the quality change will make me feel more confident.
Keep going!
You know what’s funny? I told a friend about my channel and she rarely watches it. 😂😂
We worry for nothing.
@@MandyRoeskejust subscribed to your channel. Keep it up . I’m trying to post videos as well. It’s so hard when you put in all this work a.Then the video barely gets views . But you creating it and posting is courage in itself . Take it step by step . You making the video is success : you editing is success . You commenting here your vulnerability is success . Keep it up ! You’re not alone in this ! You got it !
@@MandyRoeske new subscriber. Haven’t seen any videos but extending a hand of support. It’s not easy stepping out. But here’s another voice giving you a push to keep going. 🤍
23:57 Omg.. I felt this in my soul. In my 30’s I finally got the nerve to call a dance studio to ask if they had beginner classes. They said yes. I showed up and they looked at me and said: “oh the class is for YOU?” It was mortifying. I’m not dancer thin, but a little overweight; but I had the stamina because I practiced in my house all the time. I’m almost 40 and still stuck in that thought that I missed out. Missed out learning a new language. Missed out picking up a life skill. It’s frustrating.
It’s never too late to do what you love. You have to give yourself that push and trust you can do it. Life is too short to spend any of it worrying, use your time wisely
@@lovebeauty2669 💜
Have you seen MYLEE dance channel? I’m also 40 and have a playlist of her dance routines that I follow in my bedroom 😂 I too have looked for beginner adult classes but found they’re just for kids. Boo!
I'm rooting for you! I have those thoughts of feeling like I missed my chance but slowly and surely I'm going for all my dreams even if I do them badly 😂
@@cassielee1114 I haven’t, but thank you! 😊
THIS!!! even just talking about these things starts to change the culture. encourage yourself, encourage your friends and let’s create beautiful things together 😁🫧
Thank you so much!! 🥰🥰🥰
That "time is passing anyway so I might as well do something that I enjoy, whether I'll become successful or not" really resonates with me. I'm on a journey of artistic pursue and it is not easy to stay motivated all the time. I stumbled upon your video at the right time. Thanks! ❤
This is so real. I've just started posting video's where I'm talking. I realize I have fun filming, editing and even watching back the final cut, but man it takes everything I've got to hit publish. It's definitely a cringe element but I'm working on itt
Right? I wonder if really experienced vloggers still cringe at themselves?
Every time I get to the screen where I have to hit the share button, I feel like I have a 20lb kettle bell attached to my thumb.
The "deserving" aspect made me think of the recent ozempic discussions. There was always this (fatphobic) idea to deserve respect, you need to be thin and you need to earn your thinness (kinda like health version of the american dream if you work hard and stay dedicated you'll get results). Then these medications come along and people now have access to thinness, and many people shame those who use it (even those who genuinely need it) because they didn't "earn" their weight loss. Obviously the topic is way more complex but I was immediately reminded of it.
that’s an amazing connection. same thing goes for like plastic surgery… we don’t view someone’s beauty as their luck in the genetic lottery when it’s natural, but when someone DARES to use surgery to fit the mold then the only thing they deserve is ridicule. Our standards for what makes “hard work” are so backwards and generally not applicable to all situations
goes back to “pull yourself by your bootstraps….” it’s supposed to be physically impossible (lift yourself in the air with your bootstraps), yet it’s a phrase used now to equate to pulling through
At my highschool, if it ever got out the wrong person had a youtube channel, kids would write the channel name all over the white boards and that person would get bullied on and offline :/ I remember I was so scared of them finding my old animation memes
it suckss! had a similar experience growing up, the desire to create hasn't left though. However alot of the people who mocked others for sharing things see youtube and other platforms so differently now. It used to be just for fun back then too. But it's never too late to get back to it ❤
Same bad experience. When I was 12-15 all classmates had facebook and I did not because I was afraid of being bulied in an another place😅 well.
as someone studying digital communications and internet culture, I ate this content up. I've always thought about this and never could explain it well, but your video perfectly encapulates it. Thats what I miss most about the era of social media when it first started. You could post a photo of your pizza slice with a bad filter and it would be okay if 3 people liked it because those were your closest friends. There was no concept of large followings yet.
I’ve been on TH-cam for over 10 years with very committed season s and breaks in between. I haven’t been “successful” like I had hoped and am constantly trying to push away the shame of thinking I suck because of it. I try to remember that I love the whole process of making videos and have grown as a person from the experience so I should continue and disregard those horrible thoughts. It’s difficult…but who knows where this journey will lead me
Me too. I understand completely. Hang in there. I hope you find success one day. ♥️
i personally love that you have no harsh edits or photos on your video! makes it feel easier to focus and not be overwhelmed, great video!!
honestly this video was so great, you hit on so many things that i've been thinking about lately, especially about wanting to be immediately good at new hobbies as an adult. i got into posting videos last year, and i hit a wall a couple months ago when i felt like nothing i did was 'good enough' and I haven't posted in 2024 at all. i've been waiting for a perfect 'spark' to get me back into it, but i think that's the wrong mindset -- i probably just need to make something silly and fun regardless of how it is going to be perceived or received, and let everything flow from there.
love watching your channel grow, all the best!
Thank you so much!! I totally agree!! What I keep telling myself is “it can be perfect or it can get uploaded” and that usually forces me to the right mindset!! We all struggle with it so much, I wish you all the best with your channel!
This reminded me of my struggle in college with advanced chemistry. My friend said-“ no one cares about your grade, you aren’t going into the sciences. D is Done!”
I think as you get older you really don’t care to be bad at something or staring a new hobby, you truly do it for you and because you love it. I started surfing at 30, skateboarding at 42, and picked up a guitar at 48! Live a 1000 lives. In the end no one cares, so do your thing!
(Look up the spotlight effect. We are all under our own spotlight). Loved this video. Very thought provoking!❤️
This was so well worded!
I've struggled with my creative side for so long because of the fear of being perceived. I'm hesitant about showing others what i create bacause... "What if it's actually bad?".
For a long time I've used the excuse of "just practicing until it's good enough to be seen", but deep down i know that this fear will continue to exist if i don't stop being afraid of making "bad art".
Like you said, bad art is good for the soul!! We should absolutely be creating without caring about whether it is perfect or not!
The funny thing is, at least in my case, I don't even plan on making my art a profession. It is literally just a hobby and i still feel that "embarrassment".
Anyways, im rambling, but this video was food for thought, I'll probably be thinking about this one for a long time, lol.
Great stuff as always! Been thinking about this a lot lately--and my only real solution to the anxiety is the old adage to "be so good, they can't ignore you" - head down, do the work, and trust that excellence will eventually find the opportunity. And, like you said, the time spent on art will always be intrinsically worth it.
Yes trust the process!! The art itself is worth it alone ❤️❤️
this video hit me so hard lol. just yesterday i had an experience that resonates so hard with so much of what you're talking about.
basically i commented on the post of a content creator that i really like expressing my frustration that they take so many opportunities to sell merch and that so much of their content has included ads and sponsorships recently. for context, i’m not usually an angry commenter. i commented this after scrolling through the comments and seeing that about half of them were people saying they were broke, not getting paid for a while and hoping the merch would still be available, or saying they had spent more money on this merch than they should have according to their budget (yes, probably as a joke, but i think it still says something just how many of these comments were directly referencing being poor).
first of all my experience just posting that *comment* and getting a mild amount of engagement (like 8 replies - most disagreeing) made me feel similarly to the way you described the feeling as posting online as a content creator, but instead of my talent being judged, it was the morality of my stance?either way, it gave me so much anxiety.
several people pointed out in response to my comment that this is the content creator's job, and that no one has to buy their merch. i responded saying i had initially commented too emotionally and had since realized it wasn't actually the creator i was pissed at, it was capitalism. someone else said that i was, in a way, doing the same thing as this content creator by posting my art online (i had commented from my art account). i felt a little hurt at the accusation that i was a content creator - i wasn't trying to make money from this! i was just posting my art online! i think this video helped me realize that part of not wanting to be called a content creator - or "worse," as you pointed out: an aspiring content creator - was that i was afraid of being perceived as someone who wants and believes i deserve attention.
the next responder to my comment said that "we don't live in a fantasy world" where artists are guaranteed to be paid fairly for their work, and as a non-broke person, they were willing to chip in to pay artists they like. (like you said, all of our money pays everyone's salary, but with artists, there's this idea that their art needs to be "good" for them to deserve money.) they said if i had an etsy/shop linked on my page, they would be willing to check it out and maybe pitch in. my friend, when i read this particular comment to them, wondered aloud if they would support my hypothetical etsy if my art was bad.
i've spent a lot of time thinking about this experience these past couple days, and i've come to realize that for some reason i had some anger directed at this influencer whose content i genuinely enjoy, specifically because they were taking advantage of opportunities they are offered because of their success. this video pointed out so many reasons why i might have these negative feelings towards content creators who have "succeeded," and why i seem to have this idea that they need to "deserve" their success. it's crazy how deeply ingrained these biases are. now that it's all spelled out, i can see that i disagree with these ideas. but it also makes sense that we would resent people who get loads of money for doing so little when so many people work so much harder and have so much less money. you articulated so many of the things i have been rolling over in my mind and helped me draw connections i wouldn't have otherwise seen.
the 2 phrases that really hit me were "nobody deserves to be famous and wealthy" and "consuming bad art is good for the soul."
whew didnt mean to write a whole freakin essay there!!!!!! awesome video!!! i put it in my art insta bio in case any of my haters from that comment interaction happen to be looking at my profile LOL. this articulated what i would want to tell them way better than i could.
I've read your essay! Thanks for sharing your experience, I understand the frustration of seeing those comments (the people wanting to buy merch, even when they have little money).
I often wonder about how parasocial relations play into that as well. My frugality has so far always stopped me, but I was tempted many time to buy merch just to feel closer to a youtuber, closer to the audience. For the sense of community - some folks making up names for their followers plays into the same notion. And there I a paradoxical shame I feel whenever I make fanart or anything of that nature, like I'm trying to climb someone's back, just to get a small drop of their ability to garner attention.
As an artist myself I feel really frustrated by social media, and the pressure to perform. I'm really bad at it. I mostly do traditional art, but my skills doesn't shine on a screen, and my ideas needs time to be processed- I have no idea how to translate things to the 10 second digital format. But I strongly crave an audience. I need support and community, and I do my art not for myself but to share.
The video above really spoke to me, and so did your comment. This frustration. And yes, the shame of sharing something, let it be an artwork or a comment. Strange strange times.
@@hollerbachemil7349 thanks for reading and for your insight!! i think parasocial relationships and the need for community definitely play into this, especially people’s emotional responses. i like what you said about trying to climb someone’s back. that can really be how it feels. it’s rough out here and everything is so complicated. hope you can still find connection and peace of mind in these wild times!!!
I read the whole thing. And it was worth it.
I can’t believe I finally found someone who can make a TLDR length comment like myself…❤❤ I think the most glaring difference is that you actually have people (myself included) who concur and nobody (hopefully none will) has told you anything critical. I have thinner skin and I have no idea what to do or how I feel when something I left a long response to is responded to by suggesting I start a blog sincerely I “have all those syllables to inflict on the internet.” Kinda funny though kinda mean…. And it’s not like my words are the most unwholesome thing to happen to the internet…
I think the reason degrees in the arts are viewed as not a correlation to talent or success is for three main reasons:
1. Art isn’t really a tangible skill that can be measured. Art is subjective - just because someone creates art doesn’t mean the art will be perceived well by the public. Also just because art is created, doesn’t mean it has a market and market value. So something simple like kids drawings - the average joe kid drawing isn’t viewed as something with market value, but if joe has a terminal illness and his art is for a fundraiser, that has potential market value. The art itself could be the same, but the reason is in the price.
There are talented artists like Banksy whose pieces are worth millions but we don’t even know who they are, which adds to the mystique. In Brick Lane alone, there’s 3-4 Banksy but they are constantly being threatened to be destroyed because developers want to put a shopping mall there (🤮)
2. Art doesnt have professional certifications as a barrier to entry. Jobs like engineering, law, doctors, plumbing, electricians, dentists, accountants, etc have certifications which add value to the professions and keep the quality to a standard. It’s illegal to practice medicine without medical training or to build a public bridge without engineers. Anyone can make art so there can be an unlimited supply of it by anyone.
3. Many successful people have become famous artists without any qualifications. Look how many legendary musicians have no musical training, they are self-taught and yet became icons. The only difference between them and someone else is talent. It’s kind of like sports - professional athletes are good at let’s say basketball but have little to no transferable skills. They are just good at those specific skills. Its the same as art in many ways - we don’t idolize artists for their professional aptitude but by their “start power” (how big of performance and personality they are). Probably why so many narcissists are also famous because notoriety isn’t a goal or pathology for everyone.
In summation: the lack of barriers to entry means that art and the monetization of art only exists in a capitalistic society and is purely market driven. Yes it is true, art relies on capitalism to thrive. if we all lived in a society that was either centrally planned like communism or barter based, we wouldn’t value art as anything monetary - for art to thrive, there needs to be leisure and disposable income. Science oddly is very similar to this - any discovery outside of survival is because we have leeway to explore and research and create.
I totally agree with you about making art just for the sake of it and for the joy in it. But yeah thats the monetization part I was thinking about.
I do think failure is a biological fear - if we fail we risk getting rejected from the tribe. Embarrassment and shame is our survival mechanisms to keep in line with the group and therefore stay alive. Idk how much unpacking can be done but i am super interested
If we had communism, then art would barely have monetary value, nor allowed to be published at all, and if it was, it would be highly censored. Pls don’t romanticize communism
The fact that you are a video essayist and a software engineer just made me smile. There is something comforting about seeing others explore their other interests. I think I need to do that more. Make space for other parts of me 😪
Poet and data scientist here ^_^ Learning some construction skill stuff rn too.
@@SpecialBlanket 🙂
modern art and the successful artists in modern art, are wealthy and are influential and thats why modern art exists. anyone can be an artist, as long as you have a good influence. taught to me by various teachers and mentors. skill honestly has nothing to do with success anymore
It’s a form of money laundering at the higher levels. I’m not kidding.
@@LilyGazou I came to that conclusion when I went to a weird art studio space that was giving free art spaces to random artists, who were wealthy, white, and men. went there as an apprentice and was bummed I wasn't offered a space. realized later it was a genius move on the owner, charitable cause for tax right offs and easy way to claim his money that is definitely illegal. every single one of the artists there were involved in stocks, NFTs, or whatever
Barry and bojack horseman talk about this a lot like the actors that start their own career you just have to not worry about it and push through it and be the best at least in my opinion. The Information Age is insane I love it but this weird algorithm and making something so good that no one can look away but I've seen that the algroythm is how people want to see it's a tool for us to use so let's use it for our benefit!
Girl I feel this because sometimes I get a cool comment or something and I want to tell my friends or sister and I can’t because I will die before I tell them I have a channel bahaha if they find it before I blow up then it is what it is but I cannot face them first lol. But we have to stop caring! Everything is embarrassing and nothing is real 🫡
Omg wait I love that closing line!! Everything is embarrassing and nothing is real!! I’m gonna start saying that to myself, thank you for the inspo ❤️
I told a friend and she never watches. Most of my friends don’t watch TH-cam at all.
I feel this soooooo hard. As someone with creative aspirations, you did a phenomenal job of consolidating a number of thoughts, insecurities, and social critiques, I ruminate on that typically feel so disjointed!
I haven’t watched any of your other videos but I hope you make more content like this and get more subs!!!
(Initially I typed that you deserve more subs, but after the convo about how no one “deserves” fame, my overthinking brain edited it out lol)
Wow, this explained a feeling I didn't even know I had 😮 I so feel this embarrassment about hobbies, but I have such strong need to be creative and express myself that that often overrides my embarrassment. But it probably limits how much I share with people.
consuming bad art is good for the soul so true, also MAKING "bad" art is good for the soul
dude. as an art student this exact topic plagues my mind on the daily- you could not have put it to words better. thank you for making this, it validated a lot of observations I've been having but didn't have the language or cohesive thinking to fully grasp them with
really enjoyed this video. getting introspective and questioning human beings in general can lead us down so many (worm - rabbit- loop) - holes but I think its good to keep being curious about why things are the way they are and the way they have gotten to be so that change and growth can be made, whether that be chnages in society or changes to ourselves as people. trying to comment more when i like a video cause i dont really comment a lot lol but heres to creating things.
This is one of my favorite videos ever. I uploaded a video a few months ago (albeit a bad one) about how it’s okay to like bad art. I’m a true believer in creating and doing cringey things because it’s good for the soul. A lot of art is subjective, some is objective, and if you like it then good!
I’m also writing a book and I agree with you that even if it never gets published and it never comes together in a masterful way, I would never regret writing it. It proves that I can achieve feats I never thought were possible. I didn’t start writing to be published, I started to simply create. Somewhere along the way I became more aware of what others perceptions of those creation were, causing me to be fearful of trying to publish.
Making TH-cam videos and writing are two very vulnerable things to do. You have to look a little silly and be imperfect in order to hone the craft, and even then no one is ever 100% perfect at anything.
And at the end of the day, the majority of famous people, and especially influencers, simply marketed themselves in the right way (which is also a skill) whether intentionally or unintentionally 🤷🏼♀️
Amazing video. Wanted to add to your latest “why” that it’s kind of connected to the fear of learning, fear of being a human, imperfect, of being seen as your authentic imperfect self as you learn. Cause when someone’s “got there” we perceive them as perfect, they have more budget to cover their flaws, more people, more fans to do that for them. They start to have a shield to have a more controlled way to be vulnerable and express themself. They no longer are afraid to be seen, because it’s safe now.
So it’s about us feeling unsafe to be vulnerable as we are, now, without any shields, without any backup.
And learning is failing over and over again to understand how to do something “right”, you need to let go of your ego for a long time if you want to learn something, allow yourself to be bad, imperfect, vulnerable in your expression.
I think in this hyper-materialistic superficial age we find ourselves passengers of, the most radical thing we can do is establish a platform that promotes true vulnerability/authenticity. Even a smidgen of mindfulness on social media goes such a long way now. Now, if you even mention to someone you’ve begun a meditation practice, they think you’ve undergone the rites of asceticism or something. People are simply searching for something greater, uncovering what truly makes them feel alive. At this particular moment in time and the near future, your passions are what will set you apart; they could literally be like your currency. Being true to yourself has the potential to reshape the public consciousness, dismantle consumerist culture, and completely shine a light on the chasm-like divide between 15-minute trends on TikTok and what truly matters: getting back in touch with our true essence.
This is a such a good video, so glad this video went off for you, should have so many more views!
this video was so enjoyable to watch, I have so many thoughts to contribute but I’m no where near as articulate as you are! I’m glad the algorithm pushed your content to me more than once so I could enjoy it again
Thank you!! You should always feel free to share your thoughts, I want to hear what you guys think ❤️
@@meredithnovaco (this took me so long in notes app to organize aha) I was thinking specifically about the points you made regarding “deserving” fame, and how we almost expect a perfect balance of talent and luck WITHOUT outside influence/a leg up- but that changes once we consider the celebrity to have sacrificed something. Even with nepo babies (such as Drew Barrymore) we consider them MORE deserving of fame because of the abuse they had to endure within Hollywood. Especially with the timing of this video coming out around ‘Quiet on Set’ It makes me wonder if the “perfect person” mentality we have of celebrities is directly tied to our romanticism of mental illness- I can think of several examples of specifically women in the industry that aren’t criticized because the “luck” we expect of celebrities is replaced with “endurance”. I feel as though it further breaks down the celebrity system as a whole- what kind of system is it if we can only “earn” it through luck or through putting up with horrendous abuse?
Hmmmm social media as modern art…this is a really great take. I’ve been struggling myself with the value of social media posting so this was a good one.
Love your take on this!
I’ve gone thru phases of judging people i knew in high school who are trying to be influencers, but as i’ve started exploring my own artistry i’ve had to let go of that judgement and redefine “failure.”
so many good points in this essay!!
I really connected with the end where i hate that it brings shame/feels bad to be bad at something. Whenever I think about trying something new, no matter how badly I want to try it, because it takes skill that I haven't yet acquired I don't end up trying it
There's something else to it: The problem with extrinsic motivation.
I don't want to subject certain aspects of my life to external scrutiny (I love knitting but I don't post about it ever). This is because when we allow something we have made to be judged by others, it is no longer our own in a way.
There's a study with children (which I hope I remember correctly, don't quote me pls): They have access to painting supplies. Some of the kids actually enjoy painting. Other kids don't seek it out as much. Then, a reward enters the equation: The kids are given an external reward (praise and candy) for what they've created. What ends up happending is that initially the kids paint more, but when the reward is removed, all kids stop painting, even the ones that were initially doing it out of their own volition. The existence of an external reward has effectively killed of the intrinsic motivation.
I don't want that to happen to my knitting. I do it for myself because I love it, and I don't want an external reward to ruin my own sense of accomplishment.
this is insanely accurate, it seems obvious but you articulate the idea in a way I have never heard.
I don’t know if this is the quote you were thinking of, but it seems relevant anyway: “Socialism never took root in America because the poor see themselves not as an exploited proletariat but as temporarily embarrassed millionaires.” - often attributed to John Steinbeck, but not 100% sure on that.
Interesting. Lots of opportunity to see how socialism really works out though. Oligarchs, billionaires and then the billions scraping by.
such an amazing video! thanks a lot for all of these thoughts saying out loud. as someone who wants to perceive a content creator career since 14 y.o. age (it’s been 10 years for me since then) i feel so relatable to the feeling of cringe and embarrassment while trying to just start. you’re so inspiring, send you hello from saint-petersburg!
Even posting comments or trying to join a discourse feels like a humiliation ritual online. Just being public facing in any sense becomes strange and out of touch. Everyone is so ready to be cryptic and ready to create a contrived contention. You can ask a simple question or clarification and it’s perceived as an attack. Just swinging fists out the gate. I get there are tone markers that can make for difficulty communicating, but it’s just not worth engaging people these days online.
I’m just leading into how double edge being successful online is. You accept the role as this Parasocial figure that’s unreal and can be used as a product or talking point. It can flip to negative discourse just as fast as the success comes for the sake of entertainment.
Social media is so dehumanizing and it’s kind of funny just because it goes against the concept. It’s supposed to be social and connecting. Or maybe our human nature will always make us spoil things that seem good on paper.
oh my gosh... you literally just put what I've been trying to say and morphed it into word by word literature. Thank you so much for explaining this 😩♥
THANK YOU for your succinct and powerful thoughts on something really unspoken. Best of luck in your TH-cam career you rock!! (Also future topic id love to hear your thoughts on : aging in art)
Man as someone who does social media you literally spoke what I’ve been trying to say for years.
Props to u ur amazing keep going
I really enjoy your thoughts on social concepts like this, following and hoping you make more!
I don't know if I have ever hit subscribe so fast - I love how your brain works and how you articulate things!
I needed this video. I keep thinking about deleting my channel because I'm afraid of embarrassing my friends and family lol. Because I know I'm not perfect but I'm trying so hard to just embrace the journey of creativity. This is who I've always been and I'm tired of holding myself back because of fear of what others think of my failures, there are many lol. It's nice to know there are people who appreciate people just doing it no matter what. ❤
This is perfect. You've perfectly articulated my internal monologue. I think ill stick around to see what you make next.
YESSSSSSSSS I’d even say All humans deserve to make a living doing something easy like housing & financial security shouldn’t be something so difficult to attain. Easy to THEM is what i mean specifically cuz we all have differences in what work is easy to us i think. & we all deserve the free time to have hobbies we can enjoy
I started watching this video a few days ago and it only had about 500 views, now when I came back to finish it it has 15k! Congrats!!
this is one of the best vid essays i have watched in a long timeee.
you unpack so much “mundane” things that are integrated in our minds that we dont even think about, and when you articulate them and relate them to each other is such a ‘mindblowing’ thing bc it’s been there all along, we just haven’t thought about it.
so good :)
Great insight on this. As a sometimes-often- content creator, it's pretty hard actually and thankless if you're not making a lot of money
We have to find other rewards in it. 🌺
Spot on, great video. Weird how u know me so well 😆. There is an element to this that I think is maybe overlooked or at least rings true for me though.
So I actually created completely separate socials when I decided to try creating content that weren’t linked to any of my existing accounts. I did this because I didn’t want (and this is the important part Right here) people that I know IRL to see me failing or even trying to create content. I have absolutely no problem with strangers seeing me try and fail. It’s those friends from high school, people I see at the grocery store around town, at local events, family, friends etc.. that I absolutely couldn’t cope with them seeing me try.
It’s made it a little more comfortable to give it a go, but I do live in constant fear that someone I know will stumble across it in the algorithm and then tell everyone I know and they’ll all just be laughing and pointing at me behind my back. It haunts me 😅
this video made me re-evaluate a lot of deep barriers I have. Thanks, I hope the people who need it have the opportunity to watch it.
Thank you so much for making this!
Little bit of a rough start but once you started going it was incredible, you are very good at clearly and concisely articulating complex societal ideas.
thank you for bringing up this discourse. the recurring thought i kept having when listening, was "why this focus on embarrassment?" as a rhetorical. explaining, soothing, deconstructing all these "why"s [of not being famous but trying = bad. & being famous = not cringe] seems to be treating the symptom, rather than the cause.
since i was about 12, i've spent a good chunk of time consuming & being familiar with different generational dynamics, the coming-of-age experience, the loss of community, how "art" fits in with identity &c.
it's probably a bit "too sincere ™️" or not sharp enough to comes across as well in 2024, but looking up "taming the mammoth" was the first thing i came across in my early teens that helped me realize a lot of things. i also think about the quote "you'll stop worrying what people think about you when you realize how rarely they ever do."
ofc, i know this is easier said than done. i wish community for everyone, parasocial or otherwise. hype your friends up & fall in love with them. support each other in the ways you can; post proudly & as often as you want.
fukx shame. all my homies hate shame.
Thank you so much for this. As someone who has a music degree and desperately wants to make it as a musician and voice actor now it means a lot to have someone humanizing artists. We aren’t just good or bad. We are either successful or unsuccessful many times and I will keep trying until I die to make art. Thank you for sharing yours ❤
This is so relevant to me. I have 3 art degrees, work in graphic design, and outside of what I do for work, I basically do not exist on social media at all. I stopped posting in 2020 and honestly, it took a ton of stress and anxiety out of my life - I have not missed it. I have made a lot of things (drawings, paintings, writing, handicrafts, food, clothing), but they are all for myself and my own benefit.
I've had friends in real life question me about why I haven't posted about any of it, and it's because I don't see the need to share it for any reason. The value it has to me, is simply in the act of creation and that process. I have wondered if I would ever want to post things I've made online ever again, but for myself, any internet reaction (good or bad) would be too much to handle - the attention itself feels ... painful? Now, I don't feel that way when I share things with friends in real life, but there is something about how social media is, that makes attention like a laser beam rather than a flashlight on whatever you're doing (good or bad). I feel that the "hyper private" or "mysterious" celebrities might have it totally right.
Anywho, I have to say effort put to learn anything is not effort wasted so, I hope other people continue to do things poorly until they get better for their own sake - you can learn a lot of things about yourself and your craft by just doing them. And yes, I recently went to a terrible local improv show and clapped the whole time, even if they weren't that funny. We should celebrate genuine artistic effort, rather than only the finished product.
Thank you for this video! It came up on my feed. Happy to subscribe! I so feel being scared to try new things as an adult. I didn’t have access to many hobbies as a kid. I always thought this was an individual deep flaw-I’m relieved to hear it’s not just me!
Also, I'd like to add one other point in addition to my you rock comment- one thing that is quite annoying about pursuing a career as an artist is that people always assume that you really want is fame when in reality most of us just want to make a decent living which you unfortunately can't do without being in the public eye.
this was a very well thought out video, fantastic content. the algorithm gave me you so i hope you get in the cycle 😂 good job sis
Such an excellent vid! And too relatable. In my experience, nothing is as humbling as putting your work out there amongst others, such as a comic/anime convention, where your success is literally counted in the sales you make, face to face with customers. You are surrounded by people of all different levels of talent, some with huge social followings, and others with small ones. Seeing yourself in the midst of that really brings the feeling of embarrassment into your headspace if you let it get to you. Another related tangent is the feeling of having too many creative endeavors because you really aren’t successful at a particular one, which I’m guilty of.
Thank you for this video!
I was doing so many things when I was younger, in childhood and teenage years: singing, drawing/painting, classic guitar playing, writing. And now in my twenties I've been feeling like I don't really have the right to do any of it because I'm rusty and whatever would come out would fall flat. The bar I set for myself is so high and I'm a perfectionist to boot, so I feel judged by my own standards ;_;
It's been a struggle to find unashamed joy in doing those things again and picking up new stuff as well. I'm working on it though and trying to open myself up to pure experience again 😊
This needs to be spread far and wide. So eloquently put!!
Everything you said in this video was so smart and you explained your ideas so well. After watching it I realised another reason why I find it cringe when someone's artistic career is failing is because it's like they're struggling in plain sight e.g. struggling to make an income, struggling to achieve fame, struggling to establish a lasting career (which are things I assume they're trying to achieve).
But weirdly enough I only feel this way about musicians and actors, when it comes to social media I don't feel that way because I do feel that there are an authentic few who just vlog because they like to be laid back in front of a camera, and also because I view being a successful lifestyle influencer as something that is largely determined by luck, so I don't view lifestyle influencers with smaller platforms as failures who didn't work hard enough.
I love this video... especially the part where you call me out while I am crocheting hahaha
Back in 2013 I shared a piece of writing I did to social media. It got a good response, so I shared another piece a few days later. This girl I knew commented on it, just saying "we get it". I took it down and haven't shared any writing since.
Just reply “You don’t have to follow ❤” and ignore (or block!!)
My dear unknown friend- use an alias and keep publishing. I let a man silence me for years.
Anyway, Gazou is not my name and it gives me freedom.
Just wanted to pop in and say, you said a lot of things that I've had swirling around in my head that I haven't been able to articulate in a thoughtful way, and I greatly appreciate the fact that you made this video. Also, same.
I am so happy this popped up on my feed! Thank you algorithm for showing me this video!!! I Kidd you not, I just made an Instagram video on why we get embarrassed for posting on social media when we have little too no followers. And why we should continue to do it no matter how embarrassing we feel! I have just started a TH-cam channel and have been taking my Instagram page more seriously but I disguise my embarrassment of being small by saying “I’m only doing it to feel free or as a hobby, not anything serious” WHICH ISNT TRUE😂! I do it because I actually like to do it and believe I have wisdom that people could benefit from. I have a lifestyle that I believe others enjoy to see and it may help them become a more confident in themselves to start living or doing the same! As I am also just trying the life I love & respect with confidence!!
Thank you for this video❤
keep posting stuff like this. i’m also a software engineer hoping to switch to full time content creation and the stuff you said all made sense. subscribing!
Loved your analysis! I’m excited to watch your channel grow!
The stuff you say in this video is stuff that I have to remind myself of constantly as an extremely small creator. I feel very seen. Thank you
This was so validating to hear that trying to do something is not something to be embarrassed about! Loved the vid, I'm gonna continue to share (bad?) art and I hope you do too 😂
This has been very smart video. And I hope you take what I'm going to say in the best way possible because that's the only way I mean it:
I think your video about hunger games, especially the first one was very chaotic to the point where in other videos it would detract from the whole experience. If someone looked at it from like... I don't know... Some macro scale and rated it 'objectively' through some criteria its' overall score could be pretty low because as I said - it was very long, chaotic, it had a few strange ideas. But to me personally it didn't detract anything. It was honest and earnest and it allowed me to experience the excitement with you. The 'i only started doing it' vibe was relatable and fun. It made me want to see how you grow as a creator and that's why I watched all your videos since then. I gave it a shot and I loved it and I think it was great and I like to think that you did it to create a connection with people who also explore the book years later - not to game the algorithm or whatever.
But me believing it was done for fun is also part of the issue you mentioned I think? We want to believe that creators do stuff for fun because making stuff for money 'feels' wrong and we lose trust in them. I'm of course not saying you made your video for money, that's not the point. I'm saying that I want to believe you didn't because it makes me like your content.
It's a complicated issue - we want honesty from creators but also we don't? We want to believe what we want to believe - that they're just normal people doing normal things because then we don't mind the gap between us and them - that they're rich when we're not, that they have the platform while we do not - when we believe that they make stuff for fun we like them because we can relate to them and when they break that trust there's shock and backlash.
I know it was a long comment but it's complicated issue. The point is - I like your content. I watched one video and then I subscribed and watched everything else. It doesn't matter if they're 'objectively' good or bad. They're good in my opinion and they're good in yours as a creator because you decided to post. I think that's good enough for both of us. See you in the next one❤
I totally get what you’re saying!! And I don’t take offense at all, I genuinely am enjoying making these videos so much and connecting with you guys has been amazing :) and chaotic is my main state of being!!
BUT I would be lying if I told you it hasn’t been nice to be monetized and see some money coming in off the channel. I wish we’d had this convo before I made the video bc this is making me think part of this is the internets inability to accept the nuance you pointed out in your comment, that people can love what they do AND make money off of it and be happy. It has to be one way or the other, you love what you do and would do it for free OR that you are after money and care about nothing else. I would wager most ((good)) TH-camrs are in the middle somewhere, as any human who needs to eat and pay bills would be. We all want a way to do that that doesn’t feel like it’s sucking out our souls, ya know?
Also, the end of this comment is super sweet, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it, and it’s viewers like you that make it easy for me to accept my videos and post them ❤️❤️ thank you for watching!!
This video isnt about what I thought it was going to be about, but as someone who just posted their first real video on TH-cam fully scripted, edited and all that jazz it still hit home and also touched on a lot of things i have thought about myself personally. Enjoyed this.
Wow what an amazing video! It really challenged my thoughts. There’s a big power in doing things even though you might fail. You’re a step ahead of people who don’t out of fear! Thank you for this.
I resonate so much with what you said in this video. I am trying to have a channel. I decided to create motivational, lighthearted content using Ai. The few people I showed it to kinda cringed at me. I only had real support from one friend and my husband lol. But I'll keep doing it for myself. I've always wanted to but due to health limitations I couldn't actually learn technical stuff. So now I'm really enjoying the process of using Ai to do something I wouldn't have had the skill or capacity to do before (I can write good scripts but not put images together, like ever). But there's also another side to this story: when you start doing art privately and tell someone about it, they usually say 'oh that's so cool, you should create an instagram or a TikTok/TH-cam!' and then you go and create it and they cringe 😭
Part of adding authenticity to the “hard work” of getting to “success” is enduring multiple failures. This applies to pretty much every field. My ex is a successful TH-camr and it took her 4-5 years to go full-time, and people made fun of her that whole time. I sell beer for a living and it took me years of working in stores and restaurants and working bad sales jobs before I finally got a good sales job, and again, I was viewed as, and felt like, a failure. Until I didn’t.
I think the main critique of nepotism-babies is that they didn’t have to face failures or ever wonder “will I ever make it?”
Omg this video spoke to me so much. I'm trying to build an Instagram account right now for my art (that at the moment only has followers who are friends and family). I feel like an absolute fucking tool bag making posts and coming up with captions that contain calls to action, tags, etc. to encourage engagement because when people see my IG account, they'll just see me talking to nobody because I mostly get likes and no comments. I keep finding myself wanting to lay low and not appear cringe or like I want the engagement too much, but at the same time careers in the art world want to know about your instagram following as much as they want to see your portfolio. The social media game sucks
I thought about this last year. It dawned on me that if a video barely gets views, there's nothing to be embarrassed about because literally no one saw it ahahahaha!
This made me laugh out loud. So true.
Yep. Shame comes from a perceived “failure.” Once you’ve proven you’re not “successful” it gets so embarrassing it gets to a point where you just give up on your dreams. This is how I feel about my “failed” TH-cam channel. I made almost 500 TH-cam videos, but I gave it up because I didn’t even break 1,000 subs. I went after my dreams, but I did feel like after years and years of trying, I concluded I just wasn’t good enough. I hope some day I will feel different, but yeah, it’s really painful that I don’t even know what to do with my life now. Thanks for this video. 💔💔💔
I’m a musician who keeps to himself. We hate musicians trying to make it because:
1. They reinforce our fears surrounding pursuit of our own passions. Watching them try and try and try, well it first validates our choice not to pursue our passion, second it allows us to feel superior because “at least we made the right choice and aren’t out there like Mr. X failing all the time like a fool”
2. Once a musician has made it they receive broad social approval. We feel better joining the crowd. A sympathetic narrative usually surrounds the person at this point that increases our attraction towards the person.
I love this video so much thank you!! So well said and needed ❤
thinking someone ‘deserves’ fame and fortune gives room to imply people also ‘deserve’ poverty
In my TH-cam experience, Fame is toxic. And nowadays I can’t even go back and watch myself after I post a video, because I’m too critical and I cringe, lol.
Excellent points. Also your yt is doing great (non ironic exclamatory mark) itll be cool to see how far youll take it. - Elder Millennial
Also thinking all creatives and artist want to be famous is very dumb.....a lot of people are super happy living their lives and creating exquisite art on the side with no expectations. 😊 Great video!
This was just so amazing and really how I feel. I wasn’t / am not as good at conveying my emotions but thank you so much from the bottom of my soul. What a beautiful human. Thank you so much. ❤❤
Wow, this video explains a lot about the influencers’ strange reaction to the “Digitine” that’s happening now!
You have a great talent in formulating your thoughts into words. If you would have a podcast, i would definitely listen to it.
At my ripe age of 40, I've barely realized that no one really cares about anyone. So go ahead and do your thing for self growth and gratification.