How to Not Waste Your Life (ft. Oliver Burkeman)
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 มิ.ย. 2024
- Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list?
Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!? 🤯
This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller *Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals*, to help us get a handle on using time wisely.
In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more.
Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects.
Oliver’s newsletter:
www.oliverburkeman.com/the-im...
Four Thousand Weeks:
www.amazon.com/Four-Thousand-...
The Antidote:
www.amazon.com/Antidote-Happi...
0:00 | Introduction
3:22 | Our relationship with time
5:49 | A better way of looking at time
7:32 | “Strategic underachievement”
11:16 | How to stop people-pleasing
14:58 | Being a net positive at social events
18:45 | “Don’t try to change the world”
21:01 | Our toxic relationship with time and the art of “being present”
30:41 | “Effortless action”
32:53 | Buddhist influences on Oliver’s work
37:51 | Our primary misconception about time management
39:01 | Oliver’s final word of wisdom
My shit:
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Song: "Throne" by Bring Me The Horizon License ID: k8Gml6XVYyJ
lickd.lnk.to/rg0NtqID!Mark+Ma...
You'll fail every time if you try to manage time. You need to only manage your tasks and priorities. Time will take care of itself
I think it's more like carnivore vs vegan, some people will be most effective by hyper micromanaging their time to the minute, others better by throwing out their calendars and schedulers completely, while most of us will optimally be in the middle somewhere.
But... isn't that what managing time means?
@@TheSullenDude no. When you start with the idea of managing time, you'll try to fit in every task. You'll never be able to do justice to all. Instead of this start by prioritizing tasks, you'll allocate time accordingly and get the important things done. In general, it's the less important things that eat up your time
How else do you think Elon Musk can run 4-5 multi billion dollar companies at the same time. He takes 1-2 most important calls/meetings per company per day. Rest is delegated
@@sreenicam fair. Tricky how the brain works sometimes.
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you.
Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion."
~ Rumi
Thank you.
Exquisite.
pfff bulshits
Easily my favorite podcast, you can truly tell just how much effort is placed into these videos. Keep it up Mark! You're killing it in the youtube game.
This is the comment he hearts, not the above below it. Very telling.
Same here. This podcast was talking to my soul. Haha
This could easily be a "fuck your feelings" type of podcast...but Mark and crew really work hard to validate, not denigrate people's feelings about everything going on in their lives. I appreciate the hell out of that! It's irresponsible to ignore your feelings and only apply rationalization to everything and Mark gets that. He does a superb job at encouraging folks to confront those feelings and cut through the deep weeds of the negative ones that plague us and cause us to get anxious, depressed, feel lost. I have not found a better podcast that provides as much comfort. And I hold know illusions that Mark is trying to make people comfortable, rather trying to get people to understand how we can become our own parachutes and create more comfort around one hard truth - we're all pretty much the same and we're not alone. I honestly realized that when I'm a little pissed off and not sure why, it's because I haven't had my weekly dose of Manson-ology. Thanks guys! You are helping more people than you realize.
As Woody Allen says "Life is completely meaningless, everything and everything we do is just a distraction from the overwhelming fact that we'll be dead soon"
Ah is that why he's accused of sexual abuse
If you want to erase your social life say no to invites more than 3 times. You shouldn’t feel obligated because you’re so cool you’re going to make the party. You should feel obligated because they are your friends putting on an event and that takes work. Don’t go to every one of them but social time is important. Don’t turn weird.
Overcoming FOMO is a massive step which really does help!
'People pleasing' is a form of control. Control of people reactions. And pride. Thinking that 'Im the centre of the world, and if I say NO the universe collapse" When I started to notice that pattern in me it became so easy and natural to choose what I DO really want and deny what would be waste of my energy and golden time. And what really helps me is to remind myself that every time I say YES to something I don't want I say NO to myself.
I have watched 5 nanoseconds of this video and can confirm it’s a certified mark manson classic!
I have a final tip. Don't buy Baldur's Gate 3.
Lmfao, so fucking true 😂😂😂
“Tend to be more comfortable with failing themselves…” oooph that slapped me in the face
Four Thousand Weeks is my favorite book ever. I've read it about seven times. What a treat that Oliver Burkeman is on one of my favorite podcasts!
same! why do you reread it?
I love that you're inviting dope authors, asking them dope questions we won't get anywhere else, and expand on your own thoughts and that's my review. Signed, your biggest fan
Why was this so short!?! Please do another!! I could listen to both of you more😁 💞
I'd love to see a collab with Dr. K. I do not want to get into a war with the two audiences by performing any comparisons, just thought it'd be an interesting conversation to hear!
yes!!
This podcast is what I need.
I feel like there is a kind of pressure from society that we should always be on the run, go go go. And for me it’s been so difficult to just have a day where I don’t do anything because I would feel unproductive, and this is awful… because we have to remember we are human beings not human doings!
It’s great that you talk about prioritizing and remembering that some times we have to put more time into one thing and focus on that, rather than trying to do 100 things at the same time. (Like myself). Anyway thank you for this amazing podcast Mark ✌🏼
The ability to say no is a super power.
Time is a man-made construct.
Be true to yourself, anything less is being fake.
Trying to please everyone pleases no one, most of all you.
I feel like the abundance of these kinda videos (40 mins in this case) are a pretty good way to waste a life.
Good morning, Mark, I f**king love your books, your emails, and the way you bring f**k to the first word, in the first page in my personal dictionary. F**k is the only word that works for most of the events in all our lives, especially now. Not a day goes by that I don't say either outloud, or under my breath, "F**k this crap and F**k the idiots who began it."
Can't wait for your next F**k book.❤
This came at the perfect time for me. Thanks Mark.
Most people dont want to be upfront because after that their stance will be set and will not be able to handle situations the way they want after. people pleasing is a defence mechanism in order to be able to take always the better possition so you won't be penalized.
Discovering your favorite author has a podcast and I can literally watch and listen to you everyday 🎊
so glad i found your channel a few months ago. bought the books too. i love how succinct everything is. ty
Thank you for your powerful/important content. Keep going. I watch/share all your videos!
Mark Manson's podcast is a treasure trove of insights and wisdom. Each episode feels like striking gold, offering valuable perspectives and thought-provoking discussions. Truly a must-listen for anyone seeking deep and meaningful content.
Thanks Mark, another great show. Keep them coming.
Keep the content rolling. I look forward to hearing it everyday 💪💪
I am a huge fan of your show! Read your book twice and constantly revisit as theres so much to put into practice. Please keep doing these!
really mark you're one of the best content creators that creates benefecial content and podcasts moreover thanks for your effort and I really appreciate what you're doing , man we need more of this type of people in our world , A huge shoutout to you my man
I'm just amazed by your consistency.
Keep these videos coming!
Manson and Burkeman, holy moly! I love their different perspectives, and love where they come together too. The bit around people pleasers was great. Great job guys
I don't usually watch podcast videos on TH-cam.. but damn, Mark!! This is the second video I've watched straight. Thank you for bringing out insights that give me AHA moments. I'm learning a lot and realizing things I want to live by. More power!
That was really good! I view his take on finite time as a form of self compassion. The fact we have so many things we could do and we CHOOSE to do a few things that are very meaningful. This helps to not get stressed out so much about time and how many tasks we can accomplish, but moving with time in the present, not because we have to, but because we want to. In a way, this view on time relates to the philosophy the less options we have, the happier we are.
Amazing podcast, love your videos and the insight on how to better manage whatever life can throw at you with a mindset not burdened by anxiety
Thank you for doing these podcasts. I listen to them on the way to work. They help me calm down and realize how little matters, but not in a misanthropic way. That's important because I have gone down that rabbit hole before and it brought me to some very dark places. Your ideas give me hope. Keep going.
Wow, thank you for this!
I completed your book "The Subtle Art" and I love to read the blogs. The podcast seems fresh with new guests and new ideas even though the basic value out of it is still the same which is "Do something you care about and find valuable", . Go on with it Mark, I am loving this series. Always helping me to correct some of my mistakes and be a better person everytime
thank you! I struggled with time management the last couple of weeks and didt know what new route to take
Something that came to me after listening to this podcast is that I haven’t felt fully myself lately, in this weird place where I’ve changed but mainly in my head. I think the reason is that I was projecting my true self in the future so it was always out of reach. Thinking that when things are perfect then I’ll live fully. But realising that the only access point is now.
Excellent! Thank you both. I really enjoyed this deep, wise, and entertaining conversation. Love these authors, and always appreciate book recommendations.
Loving these videos from mark. Have always wanted more videos from mark and now that he has decided to show his face more, I am absolutely loving it.
Please continue this format. I love it.
Hi Mark, Thank you for having Oliver Burkeman.
I just absolutely love these collabs! I loved Oliver Burkeman's book 'The Antidote'. You should totally do more of these!
I love the high quality, it lets you know that your getting high value information every episode
The one and only podcast i listen to, i find them interesting and am able to relate to alot. The topics are thought provoking thank you ❤
Needed to hear this! Managing time and not procrastinating does definitely help, but self-doubt is the killer! Just have to overcome it by working with time
I love the podcast. It’s a great length and is very easy to listen to. I feel almost as if I’m in the room there, being part of the discussion. I really admire how Mark can take a complex idea and dumb it done to a conversational manor. Please keep it coming and write more boos too!
This is officialy the best channel of 2023❤
Amazing. I loved Four thousands weeks. Great book.
I've been looking for content like this for a while now. Every video I watch is hasn't improved my life a bit but this podcast has brought some improvement in my life. Keep making these podcasts sir!
This is the best podcast ever! I love it so much! You can tell how much work you put into it. You're killing it, Mark! It's really changing my life!10/10🔥
Absolutely love this podcast, incredible wisdom, exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you
The only podcast I'm commenting on! Your book had changed my life! Thank you!
I have a big time management problem, I’ll save this video for later
Love it: *strategic underschievement* ❤
Wasting my time has become my absolute worst habit. I always feel anxious and that nothing is actually complete....ever!
Thank you 🫶🏾
I'm really enjoying the podcast. Thanks Mark ‼️
loved this episode. It was calming listening to a good conversation between upfront grown-ups, from time management to (unexpected) Buddhism 😊
Founding this podcast like finding a treasure. I'm watching this episode for 3rd time and believe it or not but everytime it's opening a deeper layer of wisdom to me.
I love this podcast. I have learned a lot from this. The guest always have amazing tips. thanks 👍
I rarely listen to more than two episodes of any podcast, but I’m way past that with Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck Podcast. There is something about Mark’s way of thinking and exploring a topic that both interests me in all his topics AND sparks ideas and understanding in my own mind. This is an EXCELLENT podcast and has become a staple for me.
Needed this reminder driving to work the day after Xmas having spent the holiday worrying about the work awaiting me.
I really like your podcast lengths. 40minutes on time management is way better then trudging through the 2 hour ones out there!
Mike Pagano once said this and I'll never forget it:
Time
Time is our weakness. Time is our flaw. Time is what drives our fears and passions. Time is our worst nightmare.
We steal because we are impatient. We are impatient because of time. We don’t want to wait. Maybe we can’t wait. We have to eat or we die. We have to mate to spread our seed. We have to enjoy life because we have to die.
We struggle with every bad decision, every bad memory because we are always worried about the past and its effects and we fear the future and its mystery.
God is eternal. God is outside of time. There is no end. There is no fear. There is no want. With him you have eternity, life, and all your needs.
When you reach this understanding. You realize why fear can’t exist anymore. I exist in eternity with Jesus. Nothing in time can change that.
A lot of us focus on yesterday and tomorrow because it doesn’t look perfect. But God is outside time so he can see the end product and he loves it. He’s conforming you to that. Like a blacksmith forms a beautiful blade. It starts as an ugly chunk of metal. It must be beaten and formed. It doesn’t look pretty. Sometimes it’s rough. But it ends with a beautiful blade. Then there’s the analogy God uses about us. We are the clay, he is the potter. Clay doesn’t always look pretty in the potters hand. But the end result is gorgeous. We are in the middle of being formed and conformed into the image of his son. As the scripture says. Right now it isn’t supposed to look pretty because you’re not at the end result. We know that God is already at the end result because he’s not a slave to time as we once were and still are in the flesh. Don’t fear. Trust him. The potter holds the clay firm and will not let the clay harden. Even if he has to start over.
Trust the Lord
Thank you for the pdf
You’re the bomm
So glad I found your channel, appreciate your vids so much🙏🏽
Mark usually has good insights. I just signed up for the weekly newsletter and saw the podcast link so I watched the podcast. Good stuff.
Great podcast, full of useful insights and perspectives, let’s go!
Great episode again Mark. I admire Oliver and really liked his Time Management for Mortals series in the Waking Up App. Oliver has one of those soothing voices that makes him really engaging and easy to listen to. I was left wanting more but I guess that fits with you not wanting to waste our time. I like his 3-4 hour rule and how that helps but that is likely related to the letting go of expectations and that you must keep getting things done in your 8 hours of work each day. Stoicism also has some similarities to Zen Buddhism around time. I look forward to your next episode. Cheers
Huge fan, love the youtube videos, and podcast, also finishing the book. Really inspiring way of thinking, keep up the amazing work
After many hours meditating over a few yrs I found this naturally in many ways. You can make your mind go blank and the body will continue to operate and complete tasks without "you" doing anything. It just gets on with a task that's kind of been downloaded and is in front of it, the hands and arms will move with no instruction kind of like putting something in the oven and checking on it in an hour and the dish is cooked, you don't stand there saying cook cook cook at the oven you leave it to get on with the job. When we see this you might find that any task you are doing is narrated over by the voice in the head about progress, what you are doing after etc etc and the task becomes a struggle or mistakes are made when the reality of the task that you want to do is that you can set the body off doing it and it will be done automatically as long as the mind knows how, thinking will only happen if needed.
A simple thought I use to find this state when starting a task is I say to myself "observe movement" and I'm reminded and I start watching my hands move and legs and start witnessing the task happen like some kind of supervisor.
It's a useful tool and I'm using it now cleaning the garage I've set 2hrs this morning to see what gets done in there with no objective and set off and see what happens. You will be surprised you won't just stand there still dribbling ironically if you do find yourself stood doing nothing it will be because the mind is running hard and you are stuck in a deep self conversation about something that happened 10yrs ago. The memory and imagination really is a cruel mistress for all it's uses in survival.
good point, our biology hasn't had time to catch up with the pace our lives are changing
I always wanted a garage.
My favorite podcast, you released it in a great time and I have been taking advantage of it, 5 stars
Such a great conversation loaded with meaningful takeaways. Discovered several new learnings from Oliver, while also hearing how many of Mark's concepts can get put into practice within this context. And I'm absolutely planning to become a big time "strategic underachiever"!
Listening back because after one episode I've already learned that your podcast is great! Keep it coming, please!
Love this podcast and it really resonates in my current situation. Just like to add about this cool advice I came across in the scripture that talks about life and wisdom. As a believer, I found it really encouraging. It basically says, 'If you want to understand life better, listen up, think things through, ask questions, and search for wisdom like it's hidden treasure.' I found it helpful in my journey, and I hope it resonates with others.
Prv 2:2-6
Enjoyed this conversation as I strive to align my time with my values. Baby steps f progress and no more 20 item task lists. Ai always appreciate your personal approach to the topic, Mark. I feel like I am sititng in the living room with a cup of coffee and part of the conversation.
Great way to ask for a comment 🙏 I've been following your videos for a while, keep up the good work 👊
Loving your stuff
Thanks for this.
This podcast is fabulous. Fxxxing fabulous. I needed this so much.
I needed this video in my life. Thanks for sharing!!
Mark does a nice job interviewing. The podcast was intellectually stimulating and applicable to life. 🎉
love from India... i like all your videos... a different perspective to view life ... altogether....
Thanks for all your dad jokes and self-help! I watch daily now. You're awesome dude! Keep up the great work!
Dad jokes?
@JaysonT1 it was a reply to 02:59
A damn fine episode chaps, thank you
Great episode, Mark!
I am recovering from an injury. Nothing like being unable even to read, but just to rest in order to heal, to teach about time and productivity. 😂😂
Thank you, Mark.
You are both wise and look badass. Perfect combo. Glad you met Oliver in a meditation retreat and kept in touch after that. He is a wise and self-deprecating person like you, no one you guys get along with besides your love for the wisdom of Buddhism.
Yes, thank you for giving a highlight to 4,000 weeks. And awesome book and much needed new ways of seeing the world which is a productive obsessed world and not knowing how to approach productivity and time.
You are doing fine work, Mark. Keep racking up these awesome interviews and I know your podcast will lit up fire
15:55 thats a really good mindset to have
I love how well you understand and describe the brazilian culture on either your blog or here. Most of us Brazilians lack this kind of awareness on the toxic side of our culture
Most of us Puerto Ricans aren’t at that stage yet either and you’re right he does describe a lot of modern civilizations that have been heavily influenced by this corruption.
I think he has a very stereotyped view about Brazil and its culture. Just because you spent a few years of your life as a young gringo part boy doesn’t mean you know about the society dynamics. Please stop spreading this kind of preconceived view about Latin America and look at the things made this continent like it is today, such as all the coups and overthrown governments that US supported.
🔥 covering the importance of choosing where to spend your time, focus and meaning-making
I loved this video, very insightful.
Not the backsound Throne~Bmth got me vibing with the video.
Best Moments for me
Finite and Infinite
6:40 understand you are a finite person in a world of infinite choices
Your Plan
7:35 strategic underachievement
Funny
8:00 if you don’t want to be a person who changes the printer, do it once badly and never get asked again
Mark M and Oliver B connection
9:00 writing connections = always choosing what to do with time, choose your struggles. You will never be omnipotent and do it all.
Constrains and Freedom
18:31 something is going to have to give. The understanding that something is always going to have to give is liberating.
21:28 toxic relation with time!
25:25 Eckhart Tolle = it is not that thinking is bad. It is that can you develop a relation with thinking where you can pick it up, change your mind
Actions
28:11 stop chasing goals and chill out. Actions lead to future fulfilment? Switch it round. Action is expression of fulfilment. Wow.
39:27 what makes it unbearable is you think it can be cured
“Something is always going to have to give” even when you’re wrestling with values that are important to you is very true but difficult to swallow. I simply beat myself up for not being better! It’s helpful to hear!
Me too. Try letting go of something you think people expect and see if anyone even notices or dares to complain. For example, for women - try wearing less makeup until there's none. Decrease the obligatory behaviors that you think people require of you and see if they really do.
I find it amazing how good quality are the words that Mark tell us without charging, his a great person!
Mark I love your advice and opinions. I find myself saying I knew that was right
For sure my most favorite podcast! Mark speaks out the topics as they are and also in a language I can relate to. I love listening to him and to his guests also. This helps me to think about my life, my suffering and where I want to go...and in fact not giving so much damn f*ck. I also receive the newsletter. Thanks for inspiration, Mark! Cheers, Chris from Germany - where you are allowed to publicly say the word "F*CK" 😂