Thank you God and thank you Bill. You and the other talk show comedians are what keep myself and many other people at least somewhat sane in this insanity.
New Message Either that or he looks like he's just woken up from a nap. Really, why can't we just put Rudy in a home? It's obvious his mind is no longer there.
Sad how dumb his audience is; he asks one guy to sand-up and they almost all get out of their chairs. (What else should you expect from Liberals) *Trump's been more opposed to Russia than several of our previous presidents- implementing harsh & strict sanctions, but I doubt this crowd even knows or cares. (Bunch of Mindless Sheep) *Would be Hysterical, but sometimes these people give malicious actors power and that's bad for all of us.
@ Well I know that 'Actions' speak-louder than 'Words' ~ I know that VIPS (Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity) who were first to condemn Bush on the lack of evidence of WMD(s) in Iraq have heavily criticized the lack of actual evidence regarding Russia Meddling/Collusion and that our intelligent agencies like the FBI, CIA, and NSA have a history of blatantly lying to the American Public to push their own agendas, so I have my doubts too the extent Russia had any involvement in our election and too whatever extent they did, it's minuscule to EVERY Main-stream outlet backing crooked Hillary who had the FBI doing back-flips to protect her elite status. I just look at the facts; what I can know for sure and that is- Trump has been harder on Russia with his sanctions than our last five presidents in terms of police and procedure.... So no, I'm not trolling, you're just cretin.
There is no reason to spend 100 dollars on such a dated, worthless service like television which still shows you commercials when you can just plug a computer into a tv and pay for whatever services you want for 1/10th of the cost. Hulu, Netflix, and HBOgo combined is still less than almost every television package on the market.
@@CloudsGirl7 Thanks CloudsGirl7. The only reason I respond is because I don't want the rest of the world to think that we're as dumb and gullible as the FAKE 45 fans. 🌼
I think you're all bitten by Trump the *snake*. That explains all your anger and nasty comments. This is a comedy show, go find Fox you got the wrong number Oswald!
Pamela Cass Thank you. The joke wasn’t about accuracy. The joke was a joke. I know this. I’m on my third book about Donald Trump. But again, thank you…
That was gold. I literally laughed out loud. For a long time. Never had an Alexa, and it's sure not for me. Heard creepy stories from friends. We manage fine without that shit... Lol...
Thanks, Bill, to both you and your team of writers. Perhaps the tightest collection of “famous stand-up lines” I’ve ever had the pleasure to laugh my butt off, about. Still savoring it!
The 'Tower of Bumble' and the 'Wall of Chiclets' . Just what a 'stable genius' would propose . I heard Uncle Fester Ghouliani now wants an 'Eerie Canal' !
@calistorich It Absolutely makes me happy. He's been making me happy that we never had to deal with Hillary ever sense he took office... And he *WILL* finish this term and get 4 more years... You limp dicks are outnumbered. . . You guys KNOW IT...
Katie Kane And how exactly are you rebelling? By supporting a corporate democrat corporate comedian on a corporate run and operated video publishing site? Your rebellion inspires us all, truly.
Katie Kane Lol you’re going to vote? Or march? How about petition? Do you know what happens to real rebels? Why don’t you ask the confederates you seem so eager to emulate?
It's really irritating that TH-cam gets videos of tonight's show uploaded before HBONow does. Half the reason we pay for HBO at all is Real Time, the other is Last Week Tonight.
Because more people use TH-cam. No one is really watching premium channels anymore. You can that k streaming services like TH-cam, Netflix and Hulu. Besides premium networks make money off this platform as well.
@@Restrictted HBONow is not on cable or satellite. I haven't had cable or satellite for over fifteen years. HBONow is a streaming service just like Netflix and Hulu.
@Masters Of Moore I thought that was a good, although brief, synopsis of who should be in the orange jump suits...do you think maybe if you had included the %90 of congress and the controlled media in there the tards would want to look into the facts a lil better?
@Masters Of Moore Trump is the biggest crook in all the land what did Obama do there is enough room for the whole trump family except for Tiffany it pays to be the least favorite
Simply fabulous. The only news show that gives it to Pres. Falsehood right in the chops. May Bill Maher be granted Sainthood, given the Medal of Freedom, and the Nobel Prize for Satire
What??!??!? Keep-it Shutdown; we don't tax theft and wasteful spending. (These people need to get real jobs and stop sealing from the American Public) Limiting Government to the essentials is exactly what this country needs- You're just upset, because Trump's like the Responsible Father Figure taking away your Teenage Credit Card.
@@hellfrost333 Wow... You're as disgusting and ignorant as chump. Essential Federal workers aren't real jobs? You'll be feeling the shutdown soon, kid.
@@EVIL-C Explain to me why the TSA can't be privatized? (Why do I need to pay a middle man that increases cost and infringes on our constitutional rights?)
@@EVIL-C And more to the point- Why are you defending bandits & thieves? *Personally that's more disgusting than advocating for limited government; Taxation is Theft!
I'm from NYC. WE can't believe it. We've read about Trump in the papers since the 80's. He's always been a crook. He rubbed elbows with the Italian mob. He has a gold toilet. He bankrupted dozens of small family contractors from here to the Jersey shore. In my opinion, greatest hustler of all time.
Wow, in 6 minutes, 16 nose taps, from 1:20 into the dialogue to the end! That was some seriously good stuff you had back in the green room before starting the show, Bill.
@@4_everanime440 everything is political. i dont make it so. and you not making it political doesnt de-politicize it. yes, every repub and dem is to blame.
Penetraitor-EE 》 As-in he is the one that is Penetrat-ed... Trump ain't the 'boy' with Vladimir... (btw I dont care what you do... unless you protest too much)
@@thomasseiler446 Firstly, it's not going to. Second, the other side of America, the Democrats, disagree with a wall. Also it's funny to see you Trump nuts projecting. Ever notice Trump's sniffing?
I'd be honored if some fellow Bill Maher fans and concerned citizens who also appreciate 80s/90s classics would take a listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of PURPLE RAIN by Prince and PRAYING FOR TIME by George Michael on my YT channel in tribute to 2 of the greatest vocalist-songwriters in music history. Live acoustic with no autotune. Welcome back Bill and thanks for your huge contribution to civilized political discourse in the country.
Thank you God and thank you Bill. You and the other talk show comedians are what keep myself and many other people at least somewhat sane in this insanity.
Mlpfanboy That fact is upsetting in and of itself.
“You can’t believe my lawyer, he’s in prison.” 🤘🏼🔥😂
Trump is Putin's USEFUL IDIOT !
Of course it is an obvious given ...
Rudy always looks surprised because he can't believe he hasn't been disbarred yet either.
New Message. I see you in so many of the forums I visit. Not that I'm complaining. You always bring a smile or a chuckle. Cheers!
New Message Either that or he looks like he's just woken up from a nap. Really, why can't we just put Rudy in a home? It's obvious his mind is no longer there.
He can't believe he hasn't been FIRED yet, I wonder if he's getting paid? I see you at all my favorite channels, we have similar tastes & ideas.
Or had a stake driven through his heart once and for all...
We may find he has been disbarred years ago. The Trumposphere is full of liars.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY (on Sunday, Jan. 20), UNCLE BILL!!!!
That's my uncle!!! Lol
@@ryanmaher4331 ...Is he really your Uncle?
I know I'm weird, but I don't care...lol Bill always looks so hot when he wears his black suits! 😉 I love it! ❤
Best thing about "TH-cam"? I get to tell Bill Maher and the Real Time crew...
Welcome back!!
We have a HELL OF A LOT to cover.. 😄😄
Oh how I’ve missed you!!! Please make us sane again.
A standing ovation to an everyday hero.
That last joke was fire 😂🔥🔥🔥
Joe yo mama is 🔥
Sad how dumb his audience is;
he asks one guy to sand-up and they almost all get out of their chairs. (What else should you expect from Liberals)
*Trump's been more opposed to Russia than several of our previous presidents-
implementing harsh & strict sanctions, but I doubt this crowd even knows or cares. (Bunch of Mindless Sheep)
*Would be Hysterical, but sometimes these people give malicious actors power and that's bad for all of us.
@@hellfrost333 Do you know what a standing ovation is you fucking moron??
@ Well I know that 'Actions' speak-louder than 'Words' ~ I know that VIPS (Veteran Intelligence Professionals for Sanity) who were first to condemn Bush on the lack of evidence of WMD(s) in Iraq have heavily criticized the lack of actual evidence regarding Russia Meddling/Collusion and that our intelligent agencies like the FBI, CIA, and NSA have a history of blatantly lying to the American Public to push their own agendas, so I have my doubts too the extent Russia had any involvement in our election and too whatever extent they did, it's minuscule to EVERY Main-stream outlet backing crooked Hillary who had the FBI doing back-flips to protect her elite status.
I just look at the facts; what I can know for sure and that is- Trump has been harder on Russia with his sanctions than our last five presidents in terms of police and procedure.... So no, I'm not trolling,
you're just cretin.
@@hellfrost333 Trump is pushing for sanctions to be lifted from Deripaska RIGHT NOW. Who's the moron?
BTW, how is Alex these days?
We missed you, Bill! Welcome back! 😁
Love you Mr. Maher, your message is so smart and could not praise your organization more.
I'm so pissed off Dish Network will not allow HBO to be aired thank God for TH-cam although I can't watch it live
Jack, I. Am in the same boat with Dish Network. Fuck them......
And when Game of Thrones is coming back on. DISH Network is garbage.
Dish doesn't have HBO now? Damn, glad I cancelled them last year.
you can always get their streaming service HBOgo or switch to directv.
There is no reason to spend 100 dollars on such a dated, worthless service like television which still shows you commercials when you can just plug a computer into a tv and pay for whatever services you want for 1/10th of the cost. Hulu, Netflix, and HBOgo combined is still less than almost every television package on the market.
And clicked Add to cart🤣🤣🤣🤣 the ending was perfect
This one really hurt!
Putin did the same thing
AHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHAH
It's funny cause it's true.
Didn't need the hooker joke at the end.
You are an American hero Bill thank you
TRUMP 2020 is a hero Obama loving 🌳 huggers are 0
If advocating theft makes you a hero.
@@hellfrost333 bills a hack a shaq
He's a cunt
@OnixTV Not surprising coming from someone whose icon is Peter Griffin...You say hero, I say ZERO.
I missed Bill.
@Oswald Mosley
Rotflmao, 😅
You're obviously as dumb as the lifelong pathological liar you follow.🌼
@@daisyelmir1289
Ignore them - they're just another Russian bot.
@Oswald Mosley I'm sorry about what they did to you in jail....
Also there's no need to stay conservative (angry) , about it forever!
@@CloudsGirl7
Thanks CloudsGirl7.
The only reason I respond is because I don't want the rest of the world to think that we're as dumb and gullible as the FAKE 45 fans. 🌼
I think you're all bitten by Trump the *snake*. That explains all your anger and nasty comments. This is a comedy show, go find Fox you got the wrong number Oswald!
As long as he is in office you can't take a break... I can't survive without you.
you need a kitten and a warm glass of unicorn milk then
Fix yourself, bam2x
Thank god you're back
Which one?
Bill is back!!!!!!!!!!!!
No TRUMP 2020 no bill his career has tanked
Welcome back Bill, we missed you
Melania came recommended by Amazon after purchasing his other foreign wives. “You might also like…”
DJT has had only one other foreign wife (Ivana). Marla Maples was bred and born in the US.
Pamela Cass
Thank you. The joke wasn’t about accuracy. The joke was a joke. I know this. I’m on my third book about Donald Trump. But again, thank you…
Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon, sent images off his johnson to his girlfriend. What a dope.
@@pamelacass9642 notice you put 'bred' before 'born'...probably a typo; but also typical of right wing thinking.
@Shaken not stirred - Get the # for the Russian golden shower girls from your buddy, Trump!...if Putin answers tell him your buddy said, "hi!"
Welcome back Mr. Maher. Always glad to watch your show. Keep'em coming.
Bout time 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
You gay for clapping for another man
@@liltree8382 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
magnuB Endo he lame asf bro
Good to have you back Bill, it was an awesome show!
Welcome back, Bill! 👍
Yess, standing ovation of solidarity!! Come on America!!!! WE GOT THIS!!!!!!
I asked Alexa to list Trump's lies
She hasn't shut the hell up in three days !
- Yard Sign
Ha!!
Good shit!! 😂😂
That was gold. I literally laughed out loud. For a long time. Never had an Alexa, and it's sure not for me. Heard creepy stories from friends. We manage fine without that shit... Lol...
Alexa is sjw oh ish TRUMP 2020 WAKANDA
You will have to wait like 6 months after a chicken mcnugget clogs his aorta for her to shut up
LOL😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Thanks, Bill, to both you and your team of writers. Perhaps the tightest collection of “famous stand-up lines” I’ve ever had the pleasure to laugh my butt off, about. Still savoring it!
It's so good to have Bill Maher back! 👍
Standing ovation redefined. Some audiences stand for anything.
Excellent!
Fucken awesome monologue!!
TRUMP 2020 is awesome
@@kimjonglongdong3481 Thanks bot.
Forget collusion, I want to know if there's penetration! It doesn't get much funnier.
The 'Tower of Bumble' and the 'Wall of Chiclets' . Just what a 'stable genius' would propose . I heard Uncle Fester Ghouliani now wants an 'Eerie Canal' !
BILL MAHER 2020 MAKE AMERICA LAUGH AGAIN
Steven Crowder make me laugh TRUMP 2020 WAKANDA
*TRUMP IS going to win a second term* *Better get used to the idea now*
@calistorich It Absolutely makes me happy. He's been making me happy that we never had to deal with Hillary ever sense he took office... And he *WILL* finish this term and get 4 more years... You limp dicks are outnumbered. . . You guys KNOW IT...
Dont use that stupid slogan.
Vermin Supreme.
Giuliani is the principal from Beavis and Butthead.
One of the best comedian. So darn funny! Love his show.
Add to Cart, damn!
He also saved the box she came in for when he trades her in for a newer model
@@xadam2dudex too bad he's too stupid to understand the operation manual
Lets face it, we need Bill back and a good laugh. Thanks Bill!
Bill takes a break and the world goes to shit.... sorry Mr. Maher, but for the survival of our species you need to be on the air constantly....
Nobody puts Man-baby in the corner! Awesome!
We've missed you Bill!
-signed, the rebellion
DARKANGEL SPARKLE “The rebellion” lol Larping child.
I'm rebelling against a government providing welfare to huge corporations & the 1%. They are fleecing us, taking our tax dollars & giving us crumbs!
Katie Kane And how exactly are you rebelling? By supporting a corporate democrat corporate comedian on a corporate run and operated video publishing site?
Your rebellion inspires us all, truly.
Katie Kane Lol you’re going to vote? Or march? How about petition?
Do you know what happens to real rebels? Why don’t you ask the confederates you seem so eager to emulate?
Bill is not the rebellion. AOC is
Bill you are the one! It has been hard without you! So pleased you're back!
CLICKED ADD TO CART OOOOOOH BOOOOOM HAHAHAHHAA
One cannot help but to love Maher, and love Maher, and Love him lots!
So glad you're back.
Good to have you back, Bill!
There's no way Donnie's anything but the bottom when he meets up for 'secret time' with Vladdy.
New Message. Trump is a bottom feeder
New Message, leave us gays out of this. It takes a strong man to be a bottom. tRump, on the other hand, is an insult to shit when he is compared to it
Yup. Hes the hole and puty is the battering ram.
@@mimimarcus exactly, thank you!
👏👏👏👍👍
Bill, you were missed! Thank goodness you're back... we NEED you!
It's really irritating that TH-cam gets videos of tonight's show uploaded before HBONow does. Half the reason we pay for HBO at all is Real Time, the other is Last Week Tonight.
Because more people use TH-cam. No one is really watching premium channels anymore. You can that k streaming services like TH-cam, Netflix and Hulu. Besides premium networks make money off this platform as well.
@@Restrictted HBONow is not on cable or satellite. I haven't had cable or satellite for over fifteen years. HBONow is a streaming service just like Netflix and Hulu.
So glad you are back Bill!!!❤️
there is a whole big prison in Guantanamo that we can use some new tenants
@Masters Of Moore I thought that was a good, although brief, synopsis of who should be in the orange jump suits...do you think maybe if you had included the %90 of congress and the controlled media in there the tards would want to look into the facts a lil better?
@Masters Of Moore Trump is the biggest crook in all the land what did Obama do there is enough room for the whole trump family except for Tiffany it pays to be the least favorite
Simply fabulous. The only news show that gives it to Pres. Falsehood right in the chops. May Bill Maher be granted Sainthood, given the Medal of Freedom, and the Nobel Prize for Satire
5:10 hell yea! Support teachers!
Anderswl916 X Fuck teacher unions.
The truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth Mr Maher 👍
Trump calls "Running a business" haha!
President Coulthier and vice president Limbaugh need to end the shutdown
What??!??!? Keep-it Shutdown;
we don't tax theft and wasteful spending. (These people need to get real jobs and stop sealing from the American Public)
Limiting Government to the essentials is exactly what this country needs-
You're just upset, because Trump's like the Responsible Father Figure taking away your Teenage Credit Card.
@@hellfrost333 Wow... You're as disgusting and ignorant as chump. Essential Federal workers aren't real jobs? You'll be feeling the shutdown soon, kid.
@@EVIL-C Explain to me why the TSA can't be privatized? (Why do I need to pay a middle man that increases cost and infringes on our constitutional rights?)
@@EVIL-C And more to the point-
Why are you defending bandits & thieves?
*Personally that's more disgusting than advocating for limited government; Taxation is Theft!
@@hellfrost333 If you're arguing from a Libertarian perspective, do you realize that there's no UNITED in the US under Libertarianism?
Standing ovation. Just giving them away.
add to cart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah wooooooow so true
Very happy you're back
'Forget about collusion, I want to know whether there is penetration' ...
LoLoLoL ......
I missed you so much Bill 😍😍😍 So glad you’re back and you’re ON FIRE 🔥🔥🔥👊🏼👊🏼👊🏼
"This is the family that needs to be separated and put in cages" 😂😂😂😂 preach bill!
Oh, Bill we've missed you so much!
I never did like mushrooms...
Welcome back Bill, we missed you and needed your sense of humor.
I still can’t believe Trump is President of the United States.
Remember when the meant respectable individual?
Gosh
I'm from NYC. WE can't believe it. We've read about Trump in the papers since the 80's. He's always been a crook. He rubbed elbows with the Italian mob. He has a gold toilet. He bankrupted dozens of small family contractors from here to the Jersey shore. In my opinion, greatest hustler of all time.
maybe present day america deserves him there is so much bile going around
+cuki-Face the funniest is his over sized suit and ties and his image to try to 'appear presidential'. the hair too. shit cracks me up.
Add to cart 🛒 Hilarious 😂
Missed you Bill. Glad to see you back.
FINALLY
I’m so sorry to put you through today’s. Love from my bottom of my heart. Xoxoxo
WELCOME BACK!!! 😁😁
It's great to have you back, Bill! Great monologue!
He should have Tulsi Gabbard on the show.
Wow, in 6 minutes, 16 nose taps, from 1:20 into the dialogue to the end! That was some seriously good stuff you had back in the green room before starting the show, Bill.
Bill Maher speaks for the Establishment.
Thanks Bill,I needed that!
If BuzzFeed is your source for news, you should just stop caring about politics.... And go watch some Kardashian crap!
Welcome back Bill....
5:10 I think the whole world could use a few hits of whatever fumes Maher pumps into his studio every Friday.
Watch him wipe his nose constantly, it's not fumes or smoke being pumped into the studio. It's always snowing at Maher-a-logo
Lol his audience is so dumb-
@@fandomguy8025 ??? WTF does that even mean?
@@nicocrestmere9688 Okay, let me ask you a question. Are you, a Trump fan?
@@fandomguy8025 no but I am a fan of cocaine
Agree💯Bill, good to see you back✌️😂👍
We're all fed up with this government shutdown. How 'bout a contribution campaign to help the federal workers and their families financially? #fedup
Thank Goodness you are back, Bill. Everything is right with the world again!!...
So how long before Melania and Baron are the only Trumps not in prison...
Oh how I’ve missed this show!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
bill, youre way too soft and forgiving with any republican. wth🤨
+Trot Walker ~ You like-it when Democrats rob you of your income?
Republicans need not be forgiven. They never apologized for anything.
@@4_everanime440 everything is political. i dont make it so. and you not making it political doesnt de-politicize it. yes, every repub and dem is to blame.
Troy Walker You realize that to govern you actually have to work with those people, right?
Troy Walker Then you, unsurprisingly, will not ever govern.
Yay! You’re back, Bill! I was having separation anxiety...Happy Birthday, BTW!
POTUS--PENETRAITOR OF THE United States
Penetraitor-EE 》 As-in he is the one that is Penetrat-ed...
Trump ain't the 'boy' with Vladimir...
(btw I dont care what you do... unless you protest too much)
Paul Ramos Only when you don’t like him.
*the best collusion is penetration* ;--P
Vice-versa!
Dickbag trump: the DOTUS (dictator of the United States)
Yeah, Bill’s back! 😁💙🇺🇸🏴
A lot of nose touching going on...a flu or a „flu“?
a flu...gesundheit.
I was thinking coke problem....
bluelion1995 and clapping
@@thomasseiler446 Firstly, it's not going to. Second, the other side of America, the Democrats, disagree with a wall.
Also it's funny to see you Trump nuts projecting. Ever notice Trump's sniffing?
Thanks for supporting UTLA Bill!!!
Putin is definitely the top !
yeah right on top
HIP HIP HOORAY!!! SO HAPPY YOUR BACK BILL ♡♡♡♡♡
I'd be honored if some fellow Bill Maher fans and concerned citizens who also appreciate 80s/90s classics would take a listen to my acoustic piano & vocal performances of PURPLE RAIN by Prince and PRAYING FOR TIME by George Michael on my YT channel in tribute to 2 of the greatest vocalist-songwriters in music history. Live acoustic with no autotune. Welcome back Bill and thanks for your huge contribution to civilized political discourse in the country.
Shut up dave whatever he was just asking- politely. You gotta sell yourself and he found a great way to do it.
I like ike
"Add to cart" has to be one of the best lines of all time!!
Ha-ha! Trump's getting beat up by a girl!
😂
So happy Bill is back
I'm so glad he's back. Don't get HBO but thank you, TH-cam
HBO will be gonna soon
Glad he is back on!
Glad you're back Bill!
I'm SO glad he is back!
Missed you Bill... Welcome back... SLING BRING BACK HBO
Welcome back, we missed you Bill.
Missed You Bill
I’m standing up for/ with you too, Alex! 😤🤜🤛👏😃🤩 All decent people should support labor rights!