Go Ask A Girl Out!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 24 ก.ค. 2023
- I've seen many young women on TikTok discussing their lack of dating experience or dating prospects. Why are many young women unable to find dates?
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As a man, I see this as a win. The real challenge these days is finding a girl who isn't ran through by 80 guys by the time she's 23. The fact that there are girls in their early 20's who haven't even had a first kiss is honestly wholesome. I don't see it as sad, I see it as them having good morals and not just giving it up because they feel like they "need" to.
You act like that's a bad thing
If she's been run through by 80 people than she definitely knows what she's doing
@@cheesemakerkeesee395 I'm acting like what is a bad thing?
@@cheesemakerkeesee395 if she’s run through by 80 people then she definitely doesn’t know what she’s doing in terms of relationships
He is saying that a girl knowing what they are doing sexually is a turn on for him, he like that inside out poon.
Hey Brett. So the 23 year old girl who has never been kissed (she took down the original video) has released an update video. You mention in this video about how men never approach anymore, or men don't initiate. In the update video, she says she is getting a bunch of "creepy" messages saying "I'll be your first kiss". Here are men, who are DMing her, getting called creeps PUBLICLY because they are trying to flirt digitally. Men do not approach anymore PRECISELY because many women do not have the grace to politely reject men (and in some cases not publicly shame them for their perhaps nervous or awkward approach). Men do not want to be blasted on the internet/among peers/at school. There is very little space for men to approach. Most men view the outcome of an approach as follows: a low chance of success OR be considered a CREEP. There is no room for grace and a woman just being disinterested and politely turning you down. Or, even if she does politely turn you down in person - she may very well go and tell her friends she was approached by some creep at Trader Joe's or wherever women WISH they would be approached.
So true
Facts .
To be fair, there's a difference between a man shooting his shot to date a woman digitally and a horde of men lustfully messaging to be her first kiss
Yup.
Give Brian more likes!
Dating a girl who hasn’t been ran through by 100 guys already, let alone not even been kissed yet is a literal honor and a dream come true for most men
100% Teen girls should protect their purity and innocence as long as possible. Save it for the right man. Unfortunately they all get pumped and dumped by the same Chads on Tinder throughout their teens and 20s. They f around on mind altering hormonal contraception until they have ridiculous double-digit body counts, tattoos, STDs, oxytocin desensitization, and trauma. That's when their biological clock starts ticking loudly, and they settle for doomed relationships with one of the men they have been rejecting for the past 15 years.
As a 21 year old guy whos never been kissed i couldnt agree more
Lol, delusional incels 👆
@@Stonedgamerguy21 same with me but im almost 17
@@robogaming9228 theres no shame in that dude good on you for not just wanting to get it overwith
As a 25-year-old gal who has myself never been in a relationship or had a first kiss yet, this type of video is so refreshing to see. I'm so happy to see Brett using her platform to address an issue like this which really does deserve a conversation.
As conservative and God-fearing women in 2024, it makes sense that it would take a little bit more time for us to find our person. And as hard as it might be at times, we need to simply hold fast to what we know is right and good, and do what is best for ourselves. We should never try to be like anyone else, because somewhere out there is a man who is looking for YOU, just as you are as your most authentic self. And I believe that right man when he meets you will have nothing but immense respect for your dating history, or lack thereof.
Brett is right, these are tough times. But we were born into this time, and as long as we lean on God and His promises we (both men and women alike) can get through it and come out the other side with joy and triumph. Just never lose hope, because without hope you don't have anything ♥
this is wonderful! stay strong
Exactly 🖤
I expect this will go unread but as a guy I'm actually grateful to the women who admit they haven't had a romantic relationships. As a 27 year old guy in the same situation, I just see it as another avenue to bond over. To learn these kinds of experiences together.
Yeah, these pure women are sitll not going to want an unattractive unfunny person like yourself though. I just assume these 2 things are true if you're a virgin at 27
Yeah, it's becoming more of the 'norm' than the exception. Many 20 somethings today are in her and your same position. I am one of them. It's sad to see the state of the relationships between the sexes today.
I'm 37 and never kissed a girl. For some of us, life is unfair in that way.
thats just a cope you would much rather your girl tell you "yeah ive never been with another guy before" you just say that bc you are stuck with her now and are afraid you cant get a more pure woman, simple LMAO
Genuine women tend to have a lower body count by default for their age, but regardless, I really don't care. It's all about if our personalities connect and our values in life and what she expects of me. I honestly think most non low body count dudes care either... These dudes saying it on red pill channels say it because they have to appeal to the 90%+ of their fanbase who aren't even visible in the dating market whatsoever. it's very easy to 100% feel way more passionate about wanting a woman to have a low body count because you're sexless
As far as past trauma's go, everyone has them. You just being in this comment section bitching about women is because of the ''trauma' you have experienced@@LukeplaysTV
As a guy all we want is a girl who won’t file for harassment if we ask them out but at the same time hasn’t been tag teamed by the Dallas Cowboys.
😂
Why do guys act like false accusations are common? 😂 Like your fighting shit that doesn’t exist.
@@Czaint 😐
@@Czaint its pretty common. Even if it doesn't involve legalities, some find the need to call men out on social media for shit that didn't even happen. Hell recently a blind dude got kicked out of a gym for being a "creep because you are staring" even after he proved he was blind. Not to say there arnt creepy men but not ALL of them are. its toxic all around and we keep blaming each other ( males and females).
@@Czaint It exists and is pretty common. It doesn't always get to the level of police reports but it is there a lot, even if just done in a "joking" manner or "casual" threat. It can be leveled at a guy asking a girl out or even a long-time friend or boyfriend.
dating a girl who hasn't been kissed or touched before it's the best thing guys can ask for in a girl. It's an honor honestly.
Rather dumb question, but why?
@@Fr3nchFri3sBecause you know that she has enough moral values not to jump with a random guy to bed after one datę and probably wants a meaningfull relationship
@@bartekmechanik Doesn't necessarily mean that she just jumps in bed with every guy, for example, perhaps she was convinced that she was in fact in a meaningful relationship, but it ended up not being what she thought it was.
@@Fr3nchFri3s looks like you're one of them trying to make yourselves look innocent
@@NathanXYX. Ha! Yeah no I've had one boyfriend and the most we did was kiss. 💀 I simply try to live my life open minded and see different peoples points of view.
I’m 43, single, and was one of the rare cases of single custody dads in the US. My son is currently 25 and lives on his own about 25-30 miles away now. Even with that kind of decent reputation, women want nothing to do with me. I’m average looking, 6 ft tall, and make good money for a blue-collar guy. It’s damn near impossible to find a good woman currently. So I’ve basically resigned to being alone and saving my money for my son and nephews. It’s a bit lonely but knowing my bloodline will carry on makes it worth the loneliness. To all my fellow brothers out there, if you have family, you are not alone. If you don’t have family, I wish I had something more substantial to say to you. I am sorry that I do not.
Aren't thre any options that may come along as you practice your hobbies?
Recently there have been many women joining gyms in order to keep themselves fit, there are lots of women playing tennis or other sports, or going to cooking classes. The best place of all to meet women, as I've heard, is dance classes. You can always try those social activities, if you can muster the courage! At 43 you are definitely not too old to find a good relationship or to experience something new and refreshing!
@@beefchampion2792 Definitely not going to the gym just to be called a creep on social media and my hobbies are mostly solitary, but you’re not wrong. I could make the effort. I’m not sure if it’s worth it though. I don’t think women are interested in a guy like me nowadays. I’m not a bad boy, I’m not super wealthy, I’m not a douche bag, and I’m in my 40’s. I think that ship has sailed.
I didn’t have a first kiss until 23. The first guy I kissed was the first guy I ever dated, and now we’ve been married 6 years. I’m so glad I don’t have a whole physical history I had to process through before getting married.
This is the way. Kissing random men just damages pair-bonding. A woman who was never kissed is very attractive to good guys, only the bad boys hate this kind of woman because they can't use them.
This is a similar story to me and my wonderful husband, and I am so so grateful. ❤ No baggage or comparisons!
You and your husband are very lucky. I would kill to be able to say what u just did. As a 25 yo male virgin. I’m not proud I’m a virgin this late in my life but I’m not ashamed of it either. I have never been into hook up culture. I have always wanted to find a meaningful relationship. I’m not even saying I think u should wait till marriage for sex, but it should be with a person who you truly care for. I have had opportunities to pursue women I knew were giving me “the eyes.” But I never made the move cuz I knew all they were looking for was another hook up. I would kill to find a girl like the one in this video. Feminism and hook up culture has RUINED dating for men.
Good for you. Wish you luck and happiness and may you bless others ❤️
How many mules did your father include in the dowry?
Just kidding, but let's not conflate a kiss at the 7th grade dance with "a sexual history".
In my early 20s I started dating this really gorgeous girl who was my age. I had only slept with one girl until that time. On our third date she told me that she had slept with 39 guys.
I stopped viewing her as gorgeous on the spot. I wasn't a conservative or a very religious person. In theory, if you had asked me if I would mind dating a really beautiful girl who had many ex-boyfriends, I would tell you that I wouldn't mind, at that time.
And yet I felt disgusted. And I suspect that most of us (men or women) feel disgusted in such situations, whether we will admit it or not. Everyone likes to feel unique and, nope, I won't feel that way if the amount of men you have kissed would suffice for the siege of a provincial castle.
39 💀. Ok she clearly counted it and see it as some sort of achievement, so 10000% a good idea to leave, great job
That cause of retroactive jealousy is real thing. Men want subcouncisly women is his and his alone. Doesnt mater if it past or future.
That why there was rule in every country to not have sex outside mariage, so guys wont cuck each other. And this way each guy could have atleast one virign girl. Whole idea of waiting till mariage, was to ensure each guy would have virgin wife.
you dodged a huge bullet 10 partners in your 20s is fine especially for females, but 11+ is too much, either they don't respect themselves, low self-esteem or they have poor judgement (which will be a headache for you regardless). Great job on reading the situation and leaving.
@@anchorsanvils *For me, anything above 0 before marriage is too much.*
@@anchorsanvilsthat’s one partner a year… what the fuck are you doing wrong that your going through a guy a year. That’s a lot.
Loved this one, Brett! I’m 28 and never even held hands - it’s definitely lonely some days but I haven’t given up hope. I know I’ll meet someone who meets my standards eventually, I just have to be patient and keep putting myself out there! Thanks for talking about this, it’s encouraging to know I’m not alone!
I hope you find something truly special!
Good luck! I truly hope you find the one soon!
What sucks the most is I don’t know who too believe anymore. So many girls have switched up and claimed there “virgins” or never “kissed” anyone. Yet the real story is the opposite. I’ve seen it infront of my own very eyes. So who do you trust anymore.
It's your ridiculous standards that are the problem.
@@alper3699 Probably the rule of sixes.
I’m a 20 year old girl, and I’ve never been in a relationship or been kissed. It’s been tough trying to figure out why I can’t find a man. The other day, feeling very emotional, I just laid on the floor and cried questioning if I’ll find someone one day. Usually I just be myself and remember that it’s okay if I don’t, but sometimes I just break down. I put so much into being my best self and being social. We don’t know what the future has in store for us, but I know that whatever happens, it’s okay, we all have so much potential and should never stress over relationship troubles. I know my worth and that no matter what, I am so valuable!!
It's because if we approach, we will certainly be bombed on the airstrip. this happens to me every time
@@PhileasFogg-qj5te i get called a creep even if i don't look like one 😔
your last sentence is the reason.
@@jurassicthunder you're not wrong
@@jurassicthunder i meant value in the eyes of God. meaning, we all have equal value, regardless of how other people see us. if im feeling hard on myself for feeling no one is interested in me romantically, i just remind myself i have my value from God.
In my own experience, the issue with approaching girls irl is that there's a good chance they'll already be taken or if they don't find you attractive, they'll perceive you as creepy. Guys don't want to be seen as creepy so that fear keeps them from talking to women irl which leaves just finding girls on dating apps which brings its own issue of most of the girls on there are usually just looking for a hook up.
Jordan Peterson its your fault for not being better....
literally me I dont care about rejection I just dont want to be humiliated and called ugly
I really don't give a shit about outcomes and I will try when I feel It's right and if that makes me creepy So be it
Most of the guys who seem creepy generally have no shame. They'll be creepy or misread the cues and still won't care. If you're a relatively normal person, you'll be able to gauge the situation and determine if it's the right time/place to ask a girl out. I can't speak for all women, but I never like being approached in a public place, especially if it's not somewhere you'd expect to find a date, like say, the grocery store. I'm sure people hitting the bars and clubs are more open, but idk if they're looking for something serious, either :/ shit's tough out there.
@@palmanardozza2041 That's where I disagree with you. Even if you're a normal guy, we don't know when it's "okay" to approach a girl. That's the main issue. Girls determine whether a guy is "creepy" or not depending on if they find them attractive. If a girl doesn't find the guy that's asking them out attractive, then he's creepy. Meanwhile, women are complaining that guys they do find attractive aren't asking them out and that's because we can't tell if you find us attractive or creepy.
The problem is, its no longer "safe" to approach women. You never know when it's going to be accepted or you will be vilified.
True same thought
Plus the payoff is not really worth the risk 😂
Bull. What’s going to happen? I cold approach women and I’m healthy and fine.
Unless you’re a huge creep that’s not true. Even if u are a creep, a lot of men don’t ever get called out.
grow some balls
Also went through high school from 2016-2020 where there was this big "women don't want to be harassed by men at bus stops/supermarkets/work/with friends" and for me personally, and I'd imagine others too kind of engraved in the minds of teens and young men that there really isn't any good time to approach women. I seem to remember this being a pretty big thing mainly on the internet but I also definitely remember it in school.
I literally got hauled into the principle's office in middle school and told I wasn't allowed to look at a girl on the bus because it was sexual harassment.
I had always hated her.
As a 21-year-old guy who has never kissed anyone finding a girl with the same lack of experience as me would be a blessing.
Yeah but impossible cause guys without experience and confidence never even get a chance to talk to girls. They are invisible to them.
That is the issue isn't it. How exactly are we supposed to find each other? I'm so close to signing up for a dating app because I don't know where to go to meet people. Im a 22 year old female in the same boat, and I can say that one thing the internet has done FOR me is help me realize I'm not the only one who's gotten into my 20s without having any firsts yet. I didnt know before that men were experiencing this as well though.
@@elizabethsimon9000 There are many men like that, definitely more than women I mean. Just be careful and avoid fuckboys. You're done great so far. Keep it up. The right one will come along. I'm too hopeful still. I can wait for the one. As for online dating I did try that but wrote on my profile that I'm not looking for hookups or anything casual. It doesn't work nearly as well when you are only looking for a serious relationship though so I stopped using it.
@@elizabethsimon9000 We exist. Just avoid the wrong people. Of course they can be hard to identify but better to err on the side of caution. You're doing great so far. Keep it up. You're not missing out on anything by waiting. It's always better to wait. And hold any potential partner to the same standards as well. Hope you find the right one. And hope I find the right one too lol.
@@user-xb5eo2bm1n thanks, good luck out there 😊
I've asked out around 35+ women in college, not counting dating apps. I've received no after no after no. Once a girl changed her mind about saying yes to a date because "guys never asked her out and she didn't know how to respond." I'm an engineer, I was a D1 athlete, I'm a Christian, I'm 6' 1" and I am seeking a long term relationship. I don't understand why it's so difficult. It's hard to believe women like this are out there. If you'd put yourself on my radar, I would totally ask you out!
They're out there and they are NOT Christian...that is the problem. Christianity is dying, a slow death, very slow death, but it is dying...the faster it dies off(and ALL other religions so that people start THINKING for themselves), the better off we will be as a society.
Why waste time on women they are a lost cause nowadays
Many value saying no to inflate their self esteem more than saying yes and potentially having a relationship.
@bentuinstra4441
It's so strange when I have gfs that get asked out by very nice and attractive men and act offended and say no!!! And then turn around and complain about being single. Sometimes I feel like something's wrong with me because I've never even held hands with someone but it is all in the Lord's timing and we can trust in him!!! It is hard to know how to put yourself on someone's radar tho. But if you really want a relationship I guess you just have to try.
@@katemesser4978 If you want to get on a guy's radar, give him attention! Talk to him, text him first, offer to hang out just with him. If he finds you attractive, then you'll have a good chance! (Ask him out if you want to, as well! A woman will experience much less rejection than a man will for asking someone out)
I also don’t blame men for staying single, in a society where if you flirt with someone and ask them out, if she’s not interested, then you’re open to claims of harassment.
Exactly
Yeah, a guy asked a coworker for her number at work last week. That was it, nothing more, and there was an entire harassment stand down held because of it... Multiple guys were talking about how they were thinking about doing the same thing, but now they never will. That's why we're in this situation.
Yea that's why a lot of men are afraid to ask a girl out because of that
I’m married to my coworker
we had a meeting at one of my jobs that said if you ask a person{lets just say a woman) out and she does not like you she can claim harrasmenrt and have you terminated.
Thank you for sharing the truth honestly, briefly, and precisely Brett! Every young person should watch this video.
What an amazing video. Videos with these messages should be shown everywhere around the media and the views should be widely accepted by our society. The fact that it isn’t is just depressing. The way things are going seem so hopeless. Hopefully videos like these get out and theirs a shift towards better values. This worlds getting really dystopian, hopefully it changes soon.
This gives me so much hope. As a teenager who is surrounded by girls who aren’t exactly trying to make themselves wife material, knowing that girls like this are out there is almost exciting to me.
*This* I'm 21 and by age of 27 I wouls like to have started a family and most girls I meet straight up tell they hate kids/don't want them any time soon.
Get excited! Get social!
There is every reason to hold onto that hope if you're smart and play your cards right.
Bruh
Dude, as a soon to be 20 year old engineer, I've been trying to find normal women since I left Highschool, the road is long but I still believe they're out there.
@@jaroslav3905 Tv has pushed for women to hate children. I think our cultural leaders are either idiots or want to put an end to humanity.
I was a 28 year old guy who had never dated. It wasn’t because of lack of trying just constant rejection due to being an average guy. I was depressed for years and never thought I’d get married. Long story short I finally met my best friend at 29 years old who is now my wife. We’ve been married 5 years and have 2 children and are both so thankful that we have only ever been with the other and nobody else.
Thanks for sharing, looking to follow in your footsteps!
I mean if you are desperate then every chance is a chance, so nothing wrong here
My story is almost exactly the same only my wife and I have been married almost 10 years. We met in our late 20's, now have 2 kids and not that it's always easy, but we are happy. Sometimes it just takes longer than you hope.
gives me hope, happy to hear this!
@@jakubskyba7946 Look at yourself in the mirror and if there's some fixing to be done, get on that first. You're not getting any younger. The rest should be obvious.
Great video Brett, as far as not asking women to hangout and women not being asked out on dates. I’m not saying all women but unfortunately I have experienced first hand with girls that I know. That have and will go on a date with a guy for the soul purpose to let him pay for the food, and make up excuses to leave early if possible and never speak to them again, and then clown the guy to their friends later that night. Not all saying all women but not being able to socialize properly amongst a lot of other things is why men are so scared to approach women. You’re spot on with the “that’s harassment” for approaching a woman, seen that first hand too.
😭😭😭 your ad transitions are epic and hilarious, they get me every-time. Slick!
As a dude I’m literally scared to even talk to women in a public space sometimes it’s kinda embarrassing. It’s a mix of three things. I don’t want to get accused of doing something I’m not, I don’t want her boyfriend that I didn’t know about to sucker punch me from behind and something inside me knows I’ll get “the look” if I do. The one that says “why are you talking to me weirdo?”
I definitely know the feeling. It's as if you're talking to a girl, you already feel like a predator. I think talking with more girls, and maybe being in a situation where you meet more (e.g., bartending, cashiering, selling fruit by a roadside - the last one is what I do), will help!
Dude your problem is you're overthinking. None of that matters. Getting accused of doing something your not, you know your intentions, that's all that matters. Boyfriend, not your problem and shouldn't even cross your mind. I clicked with a clerk girl really well recently, so much so it felt natural to ask for her number so i did. But she said she was taken. Fair enough, i said lucky guy, wished her a good rest of her day. Hell i wouldn't mind if said boyfriend appeared and sucker punched me. Would only work in my favour because what kind of asshole does that just for talking to a girl and then respecting she has a boyfriend when she said she did. Personally i'm not scared of fighting either though so. Maybe work on that as well.
And girl that has that response from you just trying to talk to them, calling you a weirdo. Isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's like thanks for showing a major red flag right off the bat. That kind of person isn't a good person and not someone you would want a relationship with anyway.
Its all perspective my friend, right now through your putting all these consequences on yourself.
You've spoken facts my friend.@@midgarw6775
@@Scooter110 Feel what way? Having confidence and not being hung up over rejection?
@@Scooter110 Oh sorry. Said it was a reply to me, TH-cam comments are really shit
The irony is I would be impressed and attracted even more so to a women who hasn’t had any romantic/relationship experience if it was because she was waiting for the right person. There’s nothing wrong with having good and reasonable standards. I won’t date a girl who isn’t a Christian and who doesn’t take that seriously. I’ve just eliminated like 95% of the population of America lol.
You and me are one in the same brother. Those are my exact parameters, and while I haven’t found her yet, a girl with strong faith and conviction will be the most attractive thing to me
Maybe God has set you apart to be that person she will listen to instead of just ignoring the gospel whenever it is preached. That's the beauty of a relationship, when you make Love the greatest of the three, faith and hope will follow. If she loves you, the faith will follow
She’s not a unicorn, she does exist! Unfortunately for me, it didn’t work out with her. 😆
@@cheddarbub6324brothers, do you see born again women as having “history”? Really?
most men are, we dont want women that are run through by 100's of dicks
Hey Brett, I'm from Germany and although there are some differences in dating between the US and here, we also have very similar problems. We also have a joke that everything that happens in the US will happen in Germany in about 5 years because everything spills over with a time delay thanks to the Internet. I've never had a relationship myself, I'm currently trying to change that, but the success leaves a lot to be desired. First, about the mentality presented by cdir that men should make the first move: The problem here is that, at least in my experience, there is simply nothing that would make it worthwhile. You don't get any respect for it, nor does it pay off; in most cases, you get more of a feeling that you're bothered. In addition, communication is often extremely one-sided and is made unnecessarily difficult by various things. I was recently talking to a friend about this and she said that compliments, for example, would be a direct turnoff. It seems to be generally accepted that you shouldn't ask for dates - the expectations that would be implied would put too much pressure, instead you should simply ask for meetings on a friendly level. Also, you should be nice, but not too nice - a bit of a bad boy should be part of it (and women wonder about toxic relationships, I really wonder how that happens when all they do is romanticize toxic traits). Before you start a relationship you should first be friends (so that it is easier to banish the man to the friend zone later) and then you would like to see what develops. Brett why should I, why should any man take the first step, do all the work of getting to know and trying to please a woman in this process that is not only extremely confusing in terms of communication, but above all quite strenuous and time-consuming, at the end of which you maybe, just MAYBE has a relationship, but is more likely to be rejected and hurt?
Something loose seems much more desirable. A modern woman is simply no longer worth the effort of a relationship. And if it's really that important to women that they're not lonely, then maybe they could show it by showing commitment themselves, not having to tell them everything, allowing clear and unambiguous communication, and stopping making absurd demands on men and yes, sometimes making the first move. It seems to me that's not too much to ask.
It's sad to hear you guys in Germany are experiencing the same frustrations
yep same stuff here in the Netherlands. it not a joke, its reality.
Its like a virus
The socializing thing is especially fascinating to me, I'm in high school and a lot of conversations always seem to boil down to a contest of who's the most traumatized and who's more "mature" by being downtrodden by the world as a whole. I'm glad I have friends where we can talk about fun things as well as sad things but they're always real things
As a 22 (about to be 23) year old guy who has also never kissed, finding out that a girl Im attracted to that is in the same boat would make her incredibly more attractive, because it would cancel out that awkward cliche for both of us and would increase the potential for a long term relationship where we could actaully share important experiences. It would also tell me that there is much higher chance that we share similar values, standards, and level of level of social energy. The terrible thing is that people like us are kind of doomed to rarely meet each other, because we are clearly more reserved and less likely to attend social events where we would stand a chance at meeting each other.
Best of luck to you 🤞
Young woman here, I think you’re right about having a hard time meeting each other. But I will say that as a Catholic woman, I would prefer to be pursued. For you as a man, maybe build social circles with other virtuous women and then just go for it. I really feel for men because they’re often put in the spot to be rejected, but I think many conservative women would prefer a man to take up his role and pursue the relationship. Best of luck!
You cite your faith...but the one documented story in the Bible that I can think of someone pursuing someone for marriage is a woman pursuing the man. Maybe a little murky if you consider Jacob and Rachel....point is women absolutely should pursue good men. Maybe not just ask them out but pursue...yes
@@katien3022
"maybe build social circles with other virtuous women"
If it was possible for young men these days to do that then you wouldn't be hearing about how it is hard, if not impossible, to find a virtuous woman.
I'm exactly the same, but a few years older. I want a girl who is very sweet and/or has little dating experience because I think she'd be less judgmental if I'm awkward. Plus, shy girls are cute and they're more likely to be both of those things.
My wife and I were both virgins on our wedding night. Our lives are wonderfully uncomplicated and baggage-free. Bring back “waiting.”
People are obsessed with sex now it's unhealthy
That's all I want for my future, a virgin girl as me. However this sounds unrealistic nowadays, mainly in Brazil
@@mateuscosta9960 Good luck with that...
@@dinos9607it’s very possible, unlikely in America. Have money/ time to travel basically.
@@mateuscosta9960 Brazil is even worse than america good lord...
This is so relatable! I am so glad that I am not the only one who is going through this (also 23yr old single female who has never done anything)! Thank you for the advice Brett, hopefully not all hope is lost.
why do you guys think being a virgin is bad? like seriously? a guy will marry a virgin girl over an actress that has kissed plenty of dudes on screen
I have a sister and I'm not going to risk the women in my life thinking I'm a predator because I was too awkward when asking someone out in public. Also the spectrum of reaction in those situations is too far and "no" isn't the worst thing a girl can say.
As someone whose social life in college was ruined for getting rejected...
Good choice.
I heard this quote about 10 years ago and it still holds up. “The world is full of lonely people afraid to make the first move”
I’m very afraid to make the first move and the last 4 girls I’ve asked out or were going ask out either ghosted me or turned me down this year alone. I’m 30 and the dating pool is looking pretty empty.
Just go overseas for a wife
This could be because they can sense your desperation. Nobody wants to be your second, third or fourth choice. I knew a guy who was engaged and would still flirt with all the girls he could at work and still ended up single. I gave him a chance after they split by going out with him but he was still hung up on his ex. We can sense desperation and it's not attractive. If you want to make a real connection take a real interest in someone and be okay with the friend zone for a while. Let it grow organically. You literally have nothing to lose by being friends at first...
@@izzyash2031 could be, but I’m not desperate. I’ll definitely take your advice anyways
Be a friend first. I used to have a male friend who was rejected a lot and I told him young women tend to be superficial and then, suddenly close to 30, they grow up and look for males who are responsible and who are good friends. Eventually he became the exact type of male that women want to marry and have kids with.
Focus on figuring out your life purpose. Then, look to your left and right and see the single woman standing next to you.
Dude, a girl who hasn't even been kissed yet is literally a gold mine. Totally pure. Can't believe she thinks that's a bad thing.
But perhaps she already had s*x
yep
agreed
@@zoiladeleon9978Sounds like you're hanging around the wrong men. Trust me when I say a high value man that has his life in order is going to cherish a pure woman.
So a girl who has kissed a guy is in some way less “pure”? Some of you guys are weird as fuck with your obsession with “purity”, having sexual experiences doesn’t make you a soiled person. You’re not really high value, you just sound controlling and insecure. This new wave of puritanical men sticking girls who’ve had sex with the scarlet letter is bizarre.
Glad I was in my teens/20s right before it got harder out there. I'm 32 now and definitely less appealing than I used to be (losing hair, gained weight, sleep issues, etc) I don't even want to put myself on anyone right now!....But thankfully, I did have those experiences in a time when it was fun, college, clubs, etc.
I feel for the guys 10-12 years younger than me though, who have grown up in a very confused time and are not sure whether to ask someone out or not because of fear of being accused of wrongdoing.
Also, the notion that 10 to 20 percent of the men are dating 80 percent of the women seems to be true. Seems like a few of my friends are dating/hooking up with a lot of women and others are getting nowhere.
As a soon to be 35 year old man, this is very refreshing, Its been a few years since my last relationship, during my single years I was going on dates but nothing went anywhere, it was hook up culture which was pretty gross TBH. then Covid happened, the serious entitlement issues were picking up steam as well and are still going on at least where I live, after getting ghosted and stood up multiple time I decided to not bother with dating and just focus on other things which played out very well for me. I still plan on moving for dating / culture reasons, but I'll keep this in mind while I'm out in public and approach like I used to back when the world was normal.
Her being 23 and not having had a first kiss yet is honestly pretty wholesome. There’s just a purity about it that makes the whole situation, idk, attractive I guess.
Purity mindset 🤮
Some people think attractiveness = sexiness, which is false. Attractiveness is simply the ability to be drawn to, which is what this comment is talking about. Everyone has opinions, but this one is just better.
I’m 27 and never kissed a girl. I’ve asked out 1000’s of women but got rejected by everyone except the woke liberal fat chick with short, blue hair that identifies as a man
@@GrianaArande believe it or not, most guys aren't attracted to girls who have been with a ton of other guys. Feel free to 🤮 at that all you want, but that's the reality of the world.
@@GrianaArande Some people just dont want a girl thats been through 40+ releationships, having someone who hasnt been in a releationship is lightyears ahead of someone who has had 40+ releationships
I want a girl like this, but its hard to: A) even see any women my age (25) around in public, B) have confidence when everything in society is constantly berating young men
Well i think you need to go places where people in their twenties are. My advice: learn couple dances and go to a Salsa Bars and other locations. You can meet women in class or outside of it. Plus women always love men, who can dance. (Might sound a little bit stupid, but it is worth it to give it a try. And lets be honest besides from hookups you don't meet any woman in clubs). Other way would be partys from friends, where there are women your age you can meet. But i also know it's hard, so... i need to be braver the next time i want to ask someone out. 😅
@@QuinnQuell-yt3zmHow do you meet people in person without going to clubs, bars, etc. I’ve been having a hard time making and friends or trying to date because I don’t drink, smoke, or vape. I work as a CNA in q nursing home so there’s not really any men that work their especially not ones my age.
@@QuinnQuell-yt3zmHow do you expect to meet someone decent at a place like that?
Brett just pointed out a gold mine of these women in the US. Get on that thread and talk to the women!
This is my biggest issue with the world ad a young guy, we’re told if we don’t have xyz by x age that we’re losers. Even if we are late bloomers that we’re running out of time. Lose
Lose situation.
I’m almost 23 and I’ve never been kissed either. I had one veryyyyy brief relationship, but it didn’t go anywhere. I relate to that girl on Reddit a lot about wanting connection/romance. I’m definitely someone who wants that traditional relationship and marriage. But at the same time, I don’t blame men for withdrawing. It upsets me to say, but with the way most women behave these days, I wouldn’t even wanna try either. I hope one day soon it changes and maybe I’ll be able to find someone 🤷♀️
Your feelings are realistic , unfortunately we live a delusional world , where majority of people live in their own fantasy. I too , as a so called virgin(satirically 😂), face problems to find a girl , especially who respects herself and know the mutual boundaries in relationship.
Never change, any realistic guy will tell you you're a gem!
@@Re69. Thank you! That’s very kind of you to say! :)
Well if you don't find that guy, there's options. You could always score a middle management position in government work, freeze your eggs, and overconsume alcohol while searching for a suitor well into your mid 50's. That's metal af, badass 🔥👍
@@donquixote2072 This has to be sarcastic
This was like a pep talk for me and I bawled to this video. I am 20 years old haven’t had my first kiss or anything and I live out in the country. I have spent the last two to four years wondering what’s wrong with me because I never got complimented let alone approached. It’s nice to see I’m not alone and gives me a sliver of hope- still afraid to get my hopes up though
As a girl, it’s so frustrating what feminism has done. Men are more careful about talking to women, if they do so at all.
Edit: I have no problem asking a man out. I’ve done so. But I’m a traditional woman looking for a traditional man, so I’m more interested in a guy taking charge. I’m usually the one to initiate conversation and flirting, but then wait for him to make the next step by asking me out.
The risk is too great. A simple question turns into a "me too" moment.
Excuse me miss, but do you have the time?
POLICE!!!
What's stopping women from approaching men? ;) Be empowered! Ask the guy out! Break the mold of gender stereotypes! What's wrong? ;)
I'm curious, have you personally noticed this? Do less men actually approach you or talk to you?
These girls want to be asked out but only by certain guys lol thats the catch otherwise noone would be complaining.
@@chewface with a name like "chewface" i suspect its not a lack of empowerment thats keeping that from happening...
I'm just an average dude. There's no way I'd ever ask out any woman. Too much potential legal liability. I've had a woman threaten me with it. That was it. I was done.
Oh god what's happening to the world
What did you do? Did you touch her in any way? or followed her? Asked repeatitively? Just asking to understand better?
I did not touch her. I did ask only once. She informed me she didn't like me and used it as blackmail for me to stop hanging out with our mutual friends.
@@christellen3077 those kinds of assumptions are why men are opting out of relationships you know...
lol same it actually scary af cuz if you go to court for some shit like that its forever i stopped going to clubs after a fake grope allegation
When at least the perceived risk of being ridiculed, marked as creep, or even just turned down far outweigh the chance of actually getting a date, or even a polite answer - you don't ask out.
But just know girls, nothing is sexier than a girl that actually shows she wants you, and not just is doing you a favor by spending time with you
Well I agree with the first half of your post... unfortunately, all the girls who have ever displayed interest in me have come off just as creepy as I apparently do when I display interest in them.
Many guys are reluctant to even look at a girl these days in case they get accused of God knows what. Love you Brett. ❤
I was this girl when I was 21. I was introverted and very picky. I had just moved in with my very extroverted friend for my last year of college, and she asked if I wanted to go to the football game. It was the last thing I wanted to do, but I forced myself to go and put myself out there. We met with a group of guys she knew from class, and the quiet one in the group caught my interest when he said he wasn’t into partying. I literally remember thinking “you’ll do.” Anyways, 7 years later and we’ve been married 4 years and have 2 beautiful little girls 😊
Just realize that all relationships take work. None of them are perfect. Find somebody that seems somewhat compatible with you, and start talking to them. It’s ok to fib and pretend to be into a show they like until you find things you actually have in common. You’ll laugh about it later.
Is he also introverted?
@@joanjaeger8943that’s beautiful! I’m glad for you. It brings hope to a guy who doesn’t exactly know what to do. Thanks for sharing.
I am an older guy that stopped trying to date years ago. I had a lot of trauma during my childhood so I simply missed out on typical social stuff until later in life. By then there was a stigma for not dating that was very difficult to overcome. I tried dating online, asking people out in person lots of stuff. It was a nightmare. I ran into scams, ghosting, mean insulting comments, by the end of it I felt ugly and worthless. It makes simply asking someone out risky, will they think Im creepy, too ugly, too old, whatever label. And its often not a simple yes or no. Cancel culture is very real. People always want to put labels saying what men and women are "doing wrong" or whats wrong with them. Simple answer nothing its just the times we live in. Im now successful, self confident, and worked out my own internal problems from the childhood trauma. All while being single. Life is good for me. Point is its ok for us to be ourselves. No need for masks. We are all broken but all worthy of love. Be yourself grow with others. Love with your entire being. Will I try dating again? I keep going back and forth. I don't know. Either way it will be fine :). Peace to you all. I hope all that read this find joy in life.
Get a passport, try another country.
Thanks for sharing, I strangely relate to what you wrote a lot although we're different in a lot of other aspects. Glad that you're doing well now friend and hope that you find whatever it is that will make you happy.
@@rightcliquegod7653 Thank you for your kind words. I'm helping others through a nonprofit and find peace through my faith. I used to be very lonely but have found when you heal it fills a lot of that void. People are more alike than different. Our core regardless of culture, race, gender is all the same. Our hearts beat the same. We want love and peace deep down.
There is still something you have not figured out. You believe you have solved all your issues but you have not. You are trying to force a change and banking on it too much and it's probably causing another problem. Like if a dude tries to act too manly just isn’t real.
@@HelloThere..... -Wow-how can you know so much about someone you don't even know...? Amazing.
I met my wife at church, I was 27 did not kiss before then or have a intimate relationship. Youth group at church is a great place
I agree. Men have started to no longer pursue women because of what you said and also because we simply choose not to do such an act anymore. A few months ago I got approached by a girl and was asked on a date! Still together months later and she is amazing. I personally was never going to ask anyone or take that first leap because of the stigma social media has generated and I WAS FINE WITH THAT, I would rather be alone than be persecuted and ridiculed in front of a group of people for simply asking someone, I was not going to put my self through that. I can tell you this much, women, if you wish to approach a guy and ask him on a date, 99.9% of the time he will say yes. FUNNY ENOUGH, men have been experiencing these EXACT things for the last few years and now that the turn tables have turned now its time to recognize the issue, like nah. I know things have changed for the worse but it has also changed a bit to where men now start valuing their time and their selfs so they simply take one look and say, maybe but not worth it.
I feel like I'm being discriminated against because of only being 5 foot 7 inches tall and that's why a girl never asked me out. How tall are you?!
Dating has definitely changed so much. It's been very difficult. I'm a 20 year old introverted man, never kissed anyone, and talking to people I don't know is hard, let alone asking someone out, almost seems impossible in this day and age.
I’m 27 and in your shoes brother. I’m just now starting to get my life turned around and start working out and eating better. I put myself on dating apps but havnt had much luck yet. I really just don’t want to die alone lol.
@@brody8857 Both of you guys should start going to church/synagogue if you want to meet kind, non-judging women.
I do go to church, have my whole life, I just have a hard time opening up, especially when all the relationships I’ve been in have felt very one sided. I know I’ll find a Godly woman one day that will love me like I will love her, that just hasn’t happened yet
@@cadenwendling3380 Hey, friend, please consider reaching a psychotherapist in your area. (You don't have to quit being an introvert.) Self-knowledge really helps :)
Trust me. There are a lot of women looking for guys like you. Just keep trying, you'll find her, because believe me girls are looking for you. My friends certainly are
I just turned 16 and as a teenager, I've witnessed all of the "relationships" that my friends go and have gone through. I personally get made fun of for not having a first kiss or having a girlfriend. It's okay to not have your first kiss or 'time' yet because it just makes it that much more valuable when you find someone who you truly love and will truly love you back.
Same here bro 👍
Absolutely correct, man. Im 25. Lost my first time and first kiss when i was 19 to a drunk woman at a bar that took me home. Not worth it. I felt like I lost part of me to a stranger whose real name I didnt even know. When I met my first girlfriend at 21 I felt so bad I couldnt give her my first kiss, and that I could never give her my first time.
@@AceAratadam that’s real
Same. My friends are constantly up my ass being 16 and single without my first kiss. It just seems like kids our age are trying to gain kissing or dating points or something. I just don't get it.
Feel you bro 🥲
Im literally the same as that girl and it reassuring to see im not the only one!
The fact some people think most women sleep with 80+ guys is insane. That's not even remotely true.
Most sleep with around 10. Which is way too many.
I had an ex who once told me about a time she felt really cornered and threatened. I asked what happened and she said this guy approached her and started flirting but she wasn’t interested. I said I was sorry that happened and asked what he said/did to make her so fearful. She told me nothing, it was the fact she wasn’t attracted to him that made her so afraid. I’ve wrestled with that for close to ten years now. No matter how much I want to approach someone I’m interested in, it will never be more than how much I don’t want to scare them.
Yeah sometimes some women lie because of that fear. A man says hello, and in her mind she adds in an evil laugh with that hello. Now it's something else. Wtf. 😂
That's her fault, not his.
Actually, it's her parents fault for raising her so poorly that her threat detection mechanism sees a friendly overture as a threat at all.
That or she picked her romantic partners so poorly that she would up getting traumatized through her experiences with them.
In any case, it's not on the guy that she was afraid of him. Any more than it's the spiders fault when girls scream at seeing them.
@@houseofhas9355 It's almost like we shouldn't be telling little boys and girls about "toxic masculinity" and "the male gaze".
If a woman considers you attractive, she will be angry because you didn't read her mind and approach her immediately. But if she considers you unattractive, then just the fact that you exist will be considered as a threat to her life by her.
@@jamesjonnes Hyperbole, but not far off.
I'm a 27-year-old guy and I have no problem asking a girl out. However, what makes me a bit hesitant is the fear of being recorded and ending up on TikTok, being labeled as a creep. Considering my appearance and how I present myself ( I Consider myself a 4 out of 10), I don't fit the stereotypical image of someone who approaches a girl, and I worry that I might be labeled as a weirdo or creep right away. The frustration of constantly getting ghosted on dating apps like Boo, Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and Facebook dating has led me to delete them altogether.
Don't give up
approaching in real life takes way more confidence than just an app, do that, way more respected, woman are way more forgiving in the looks department than us men
Go gym bro if you’re not already. Having an aesthetic physique boosts physical appearance a lot. You may think you’re a 4/10, if you just get an aesthetic physique you’ll become a 6 or a 7/10 easy.
@@xtalofficial06 I was 316lb now sitting at 256lb currently in the gym going x5 a week and eating healthy. Tired of playing games with these ladies.
@@xtalofficial06 Dude no, don't be that stereotypical 'just go to the gym bro'' guy. No amount of gym can fix an unfortunate face.
So, Turning Point, finally!? I don't know if what you're pointing out is an exception or the new rule, but this is what I've been predicting: women realizing that they've been too hard on men and that they are finally coming back around to realize their natural needs... I figured that with all of the talk of male loneliness that things would eventually come around full circle. I've felt women wanting me to talk to them in the supermarket, for example, but I've sort of laid off with these and dating app interactions, waiting for the pendulum to swing. God, I hope we're going back to some semblance of dating normalcy. I'll take this as inspiration, thx. I have lots more to say on this, but I'll leave it at that. Keep this comin, Brett.
I was exactly in this same boat until a little over a week ago. For context, I’m 25. Though I was incredibly self-conscious about it, I let the guy I was seeing know and he’s been incredibly kind and understanding about it and is extra careful to make sure I actually want to keep going on everything we do because he knows I’ve never done anything before. He just lets me experiment when we make out and gives me no pressure whatsoever. Not having experience isn’t a bad thing like I thought it was. Communication helped take a lot of that stress off. If I had tried to pass myself off as having that experience when I clearly didn’t, that’s where the issue probably would’ve arisen. If someone judges you horribly for it, not the guy for you. Move on.
Just gotta say as a 21 year old male who also hasn’t had any physical interaction with the opposite gender and is around only people that have a high body count, this is wholesome and hope inducing, I also think that (I think) not having any serious physical interaction before marriage shows respect not only for your partner but also yourself!
21? Too immature. 35? Too old you freaking pado. So basically if you're a man, you will never ever be loved. The one thing that makes life worth living, women are incapable of. I've never been kissed either. Don't want to. It's not worth the false SA charges.
Bro gets no bitches, unironically kinda funny
@justinwentzel5166I know bro 😮💨😕
Not having sex before marriage is only a virtue for women. Your sexuality as a man is worthless. You need to understand this. Like really understand this. You have no sexual value in todays society. If you want to view yourself as being pure or think that abstaining from sex gives self-respect then that's fine, whatever makes you feel content.
Even very good looking men young or old have very little sexual value to women that they truly are attracted to. Women use sex as a means to attain a lifestyle or obtain the services of a man- labor, protection, servant, etc....This is 100% fact. If you are a very attractive man then you have lots of "fun" but only with women you don't find super attractive. Beautiful women don't go around having fun except with the wealthy men.
The dream that you might find this perfect woman who is demure and nice and smart and funny and attractive (to you) and not sexually experienced---this is not reality. Just like when women say they want a man who earns $200k and is inshape and votes Democrat and blah blah blah---that is also not going to happen for her. Best she can do is find a teacher or a small business owner who earns $75k-$100k, who isn't super handsome but is masculine and does things for her. She'll divorce him after 7 years and collect alimony.
You probably aren't going to find this special perfect woman that bonds off video games or being shy or whatever constellation of quirky things would be great. If you find a woman who appears to be like this, you can be almost sure she has slept with a bunch of guys, has a drug problem, is bi polar, is a single mother, etc....there is always something.
@@youtuber-tg1pu have fun with E.D.
This month, I had a woman ask for my number, and then she friend-zoned me after 2 dates. Men eventually get tired of the rejection, the games, and the manupulation. Over time, we prefer our male friends, our hobbies, and our own peace and security. Sure, the pain of not having a woman never really goes away, but it does lessen with time, and the benefits of being single greatly supercede the risks of modern dating.
Sorry to hear it didnt work out. I get what you are saying and i do agree but it sounds like in this specific case that the woman deserves some props. She did shoot her shot, stepped up and asked for a your number and tried to take some initiative. Not every date is gonna lead to marriage and i get how the friend zone can feel rough but atleast she went for it, probably felt like you didnt click and ended it the way many women do by asking to just be friends. You absolutely shouldnt accept the friend zone and just say something like "thanks but i dont need more friends" and then go about your business. Its so rare for women to do anything more than "look and smile" these days and then just expect men to do litterally everything. She gets some respect for trying at least.
Haha this brings me joy. Natural selection doing its job making sure yall losers dont have offspring. Stop whining and be a real men. Ooh tip! Dont objectivy women, maybe date women who arent 17 years old with a supermodel body😮😮
I agree with @johantolli372, she wanted to try it out so she went for it and decided it didnt work between yall, thats the 2nd best outcome for any dating scenario
That means you’re good looking and inviting enough for a girl to reach out. You guys just didn’t match, but this is a good sign, no?
@@TheNinjapancake14 I've been told I'm good looking non-stop since as long as I can remember but it only last so long, maybe with a really unstable girl she will stick around for your looks but generally a good looking guy only gets his foot in the door with his looks and after that all the insane high standards women have still apply. Also, women kind of see really good looking guys as short term prospects a lot of the time sort of like how a lot of men might only see really good looking women for only short term flings.
I'm not saying I'm not greatful for my looks but I swear to Christ I want to put a paper bag over my damn head some days....this probably sounds arrogant af but the grass ain't always greener on the otherside. The most magical chemistry I had with a girl was when I was slightly overweight, unshaven and wearing a mask and sick as hell and the girl was also wearing a mask, after three weeks I shaved and showed up without a mask and she took hers off and we finally saw eachothers faces for the first time only after getting to know eachother. You've never seen two people stutter so hard lol. My point is this: I feel a shit ton of pressure to be as good on the inside as I am on the outside so to speak and I think I am but I never really know.
I had a long term relationship with someone who had never had any kind of romantic connection in their mid 20's. I told her I was cool with that and we could go at whatever rate she was comfortable with, I viewed the naivety for lack of a better word as endearing. Tried to communicate as effectively as possible on every issue and it ended up being an amazing relationship.
I'm a 25M. Throughout middle school, high school, and my young adult years I pursued girls and tried so hard to find a relationship and got burnt so badly so many times. Most of the time it was because girls tend to be afraid of hurting men's feelings and end up leading them on and confusing them. I finally had my first real relationship at 23 and as a result learned what it's actually like when a girl likes you. It's not such a big problem any more. But damn, girls please be blunt, honest, but still polite.
Yes please tell me straight up don’t tiptoe around my feelings just speak your mind
You something funny if ads become reality. many lonely girls in your local area. Congrats by the way and do all you can for your partner because its hard to find pair this days as instead of partners they want dogs so they can live easily whenever they bored.
It's not a new Problem by any stretch of the imagination. I'm Gen-X, and I've gone to the same thing.
But these days I don't even bother to ask, because every single time I have approached a woman to ask her out ask her coffee date anything, I get rejected or I get accused of being a stalker or just it's it's outrageous. And honestly I think the women of my generation are broken, now whether that's because of feminism or because they've been with assholes I don't know but I've yet to find a woman anywhere close to my age range that isn't broken
bruh what kind of girls have you been talking to, all the girls I know hang out in sheep herds(I'm talking herds of like 10 or more, and the moment a guy gets the confidence to ask on of them out, they all start clowning him
The girls being upset not being asked out by guys can thank feminism and other women for that. Feminists and other women complaining when us men ask them out or call us creepy/being accused of something have totally ruined it for the others as it has us against the idea of doing it due to these reasons - nothing worse than trying to be social and ask a girl out only to get called creepy
Feminism isn't the problem. Misandry and feminism are not synonymous.
False accusations are rare stop complaining about someone that really doesn’t even happen to the average man. 😂
@@thevirginmarty9738 🤨
yes thank stupid feminism
@@thevirginmarty9738yea they kinda are… modern feminism and misandry are basically interchangeable
Preach sister! PREAAAACH !!! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
It's gratifying to see women speak out about their fears and desires, it makes us men aware of the problem and can help us empathize more. The people who demean you for being vulnerable will never be worth your time. Both men and women, don't lose hope. Keep your heads up and pursue people who you feel interested in. Eventually, you'll find somebody. I totally understand to feel discouraged by idiot men and entitled women calling you out for just showing vulnerability, but trust me when I say their opinions hold no value against you if they feel the need to discourage you like that to feel prideful.
In the past, I have dated a girl who had never had a relationship before. I really liked the fact she had no other relationship baggage and that I could be her first relationship. I considered it an honor. Ladies don't worry about society, just go to the places you would meet a good guy and hopefully one day you'll find one that deserves your first kiss.
Well said sir 👏 👏
I've dated a couple of women where I was their first relationship and kiss and those sadly didn't work out
I feel like most people don’t think like this to me like doing anything with a virgin or someone that hasn’t done anything in a really long time you have to be so nice to them and cherish them but that hasn’t been my case maybe it’s all just limiting beliefs sometimes I’m worried that no one’s gonna be nice😭
I've dated a few as well. Some upbringing stuff can lead to this. Taking warnings from parents too seriously, considering intimacy dirty or unholy. It sadly easy, and there are many ways, to eff up a child for most of life.
Actually, I'm dating someone, but both of us have had a history of past partners. I think that has benefited us because it provided us with the experience to make each other happy.
As a 33yr man, I have basically given up on asking women out. The sheer amount of rejection and being told "Sorry, just not interested" really weighs on the mind. And I'm even told I'm relatively good looking, so I don't know what the issue is. Oh well.
Sir are really 33 years old
And they act all friendly and seem like they want asked out, but it screeches to a halt the second you ask her out.
Women want all the options. Have many guys ask them out.
1. Take him up on the offer and have a great time.
2. Call him a creep, throw a vase, and scream for the police.
Maybe it’s because you don’t know the difference between “ways” and “weighs”
Same bro
@@vs71597 Yep, undateable from the first message. There's your answer buddy
When im asked to hangout, or ask a girl too hangout. I see that as more than a date, im sharing how i decompress, how i just loose emotional stress and i don't share that with most. But interesting to get your side of it
I can't stay offline for then I couldn't watch your videos. You are a breath of fresh air; Intelligence and femininity is appreciated.
I have met my fiancée almost a year ago, and she was 27 and had never kissed anyone.
I was actually shocked about this, but she saw it as her value/standard and was (is still) proud of it.
Unfortunately for her, we kissed… Whoever you are, do it right and don’t lower your hopes just to fit a society standard.
Dont get married.
-80% of divorces are initiated by women
-over 50% of marriages end in divorce
-she will take just half of EVERYTHING you own if you are lucky
-you will lose custody of your children
Hope you guys marry and have a great family.
Damn bro you asked her to marry you in a year, best of luck
Some women will sleep with guys but won’t kiss them
@@jamesjonnes if God's will, we'll achieve that.
Thanks a lot for the support!
As a guy, I am just tired of being rejected and then asked to "just be friends". I would love for someone to think I'm worth their time and affection.
U dropped this 👑
Start working out
@@MatthewSchellenberg no offense but u definitely don’t work out so that’s ironic
Focus on yourself and do what you like, follow your heart, find joy, and soon people will start seeing this, and before your know it, it’ll happen!:)
one thing that make it hard also is if you ask out the wrong person thanking there a good person they will talk about being asked out (internet/irl) by a friend and they will label you as a creep and if you live in a small town like me it makes it hard when i was in high school a guy was hanging out with a girl he liked her she seemed to like him then one day over spring brake she got a BF and when school started he aked her at the BF found out beat him up and he was labeled as a creep by everyone in the school to the point where he tryed to leave this world
There are so many good young people out there, they just aren't finding each other. Also, people are sometimes shy and really don't know how to approach others.
The best advice I’ve been given was. “socialize by exposing yourself purely without intention of receiving anything” “ once you learn to be intentional and react to the environment you’re anxiety will be reduced significantly”. I was also suggested to take this experiment weekly. First week. Focus on enjoying my environment ( whenever you feel uncomfortable. Focus on your environment not others). Second week engage more with staff members. Third week intend on continuing conversations, but only when approached( distract yourself with your environment, when you feel pressured to be approached)
I'm 29. All i want at this point is to find a nice, traditional, conservative woman, fall in love, get married, and raise a family together. But A.) Finding one who wants to be found is extremely hard and b.) The stigma of a guy approaching a woman to ask her out or even just compliment her is such an enormous hurdle that i usually just don't take the step out of fear of being labeled a creep or worse.
That's an American problem. I went to Thailand and it was so easy. I wasn't even trying to hook up or anything. I went alone and went to find people to drink with and it was all natural. In America, I'm not white enough to speak to.
That's very true. I've held giving compliments to women out of fear of being labeled a creep for even noticing. I can handle rejection, but I'm not ready to be falsely accused.
Get on a Christian dating app if you are religious. Something like the one called Upward. There’s so many good Christian women in their late 20’s dying for a husband and waiting for a man to approach. Just be careful, don’t go for the ones with provocative pics, bikini photos, or filters, if you know what to look for it’s not as hard as it seems.
If you want to find a good future wife, you need to be looking in the right place, just like Matt Walsh has his own fishing spots. I don't know about your religion, but looking to date a woman that shares your religious beliefs can help you get there. People who go to church tend to be more conservative, and even if they aren't, would still not call you a creep (don't do to others what you don't wish upon yourself), as long as your approach is not creepy.
@@agees924yeah those don’t work either
This girl's video made me feel so much better about myself. I'm 20 and have never even been on a date or asked out. I'm aware that I am super picky and have a very limited social life, though.
Ok, how tall are you?
@@LiamHalla-pe5ntwhat? How is that relevant?
Where are you from?
@@dominickleonardimore than you realize…
Stay the course. Quality over quantity.
I am encouraged by this as a seventeen year old girl who is not allowed to date until eighteen. I absolutely hate the social construct that if you never dated before you're automatically a nobody and unattractive and that something is wrong with you. I had an experience when I was fifteen years old I kid you not fifteen! I told a girl that I never dated before and I wasn't allowed to and later when we were with more of the girls I guess I said that I've never dated before again and she started laughing and making fun of me and told the other girls how absurd it was and all the other girls laughed at me too. I felt so humiliated! I was very shy back then so I didn't stand for myself. If I could go back and tell my younger self I'd say it's a ok to not have a boyfriend at fifteen cause you're young and still have a lot of growing to do. Follow your dreams and strive to be the best you you can be! I am thankful for those girls and thankful for whole experience, cause with out it I wouldn't be the girl I am today. I probably wouldn't have gotten to the end of myself and accepted Jesus Christ as my savior if it wasn't for that experience and many hardships in my life. ❤️☺️ My message to y'all single ladies would be. Stay strong girls/women the right man will come when you're ready and he's ready if you're a Christian trust God and strive to be a better Christian a better woman focus on that and somewhere along the way if it's Gods will a good guy will come along. Stay strong girlies!!! I love y'all 💕💕💕💕
Patience has definitely been a virtue. I didn't start dating until after highschool and when I joined the military. I have dodged so many proverbial bullets as a date to marry person.
As a dad, I would be proud of her. Just keep on doing what you are doing young lady.
The woke feminists have screwed it up for them
I'm a 34 year old man and never had a relationship. Are you proud of me too?
In like middle school and through high school I asked out several girls, some said yes, majority said no. I was promptly made to feel pretty awful about myself for several different reasons when I wasn't creepy or going past lines at all. I know a lot of guys that this has happened to and resulted in them just not talking to women and continuing to be awkward with women because they avoid flirting or asking girls out generally.
My experience in high-school definitely didn't help. They treated me like dirt. The classic ew, not with you response. It's pretty hard to fix your self-image and confidence if all you ever heard when asking someone out was that you're gross, ugly or creepy. To me this crap is self inflicted. They want to be c*nts to guys in school and then later in life wonder why they never get approached or asked out.
Dude who want a boyfriend in middleschool?
@@gaia7240 You missed the point. The issue isn’t that women turn men down. It’s that from even the earliest ages boys are mocked, laughed at, and belittled. Which for too many guys simply convinces them that either they’re not good enough for anyone or that pursuing women at all isn’t worth it.
@@theauthenticwaffle651 the point is why pursuing women at a young age? You say boys are laughed at but girls are molested by those boys
@@gaia7240 Because biology? Young boys naturally develop an interest in girls around that age. A lot of girls develop interest in boys at that age as well. The molestation point is beside the point. What men are trying to express is that the way girls treat them from middle school all the way into adulthood causes men to quit pursuing women all together. Statistically, few of these boys are trying to assault girls in middle school.
The other half of this is guys are probably less likely to ask a girl out because they don’t want to be seen as a creep. We see it all the time where it’s “cute” when a “hot guy” does something that a “regular guy” would be considered creepy for doing.
31, male, same boat. I've lost count of how many times I've had to turn down sex, yet still have never landed a dinner date. My longest online attempt at dating lasted a week. My experience has been that women have been sexually open, but afraid of romance- which used to describe most guys I knew. I've also been rejected over lack of income (I make 40k) It's a strange time, but posts like this rekindle hope.
For the record, it's not social ineptitude in my case. A majority of my friends have always been women, several of whom I tutored for years, and I was on multiple sports teams (still fit, and recently back in training post injury). I also regularly make a point of meeting new people, and a number of friends have turned to me for help when life grew truly dark.
Living in a small town does not help.
I’m 18 and never been kissed but I was lucky enough to be surrounded by people growing up that did not make dating and ‘getting kissed’ their priorities. Plenty of my friends haven’t been kissed and I also know a lot of girls who regret the guys they’ve kissed. I’ve dated a couple guys but it never seemed right. I know I’m young but don’t be embarrassed by not having a first kiss and don’t let anyone shame you for that fact about yourself.
Same i am 18 too
If you think 18 is bad than what can middle-aged single men say?
I know an engineer that is looking for a future house wife, you interested?
Edit-
He is 22, 6 foot 2 inches, in a masters program and living in florida
Stay with what you're doing. So many young women out there today are straight up disgusting with the amount of men they bed. The fact that you don't give anything away due to societal pressure says a lot of good things about you. You're one of the few respectable ones out there. Keep your head up!
Always happy when I hear about the next generation doing it right. Keep it up Gen Z. You can make a better world if you hold onto your values.
I went to a Christian university for an entire year. Got involved in many activities and even a music group. I only talked to 3 girls while I was there. None of them ever expressed any real interest, and I was always having to do all the social heavy lifting like carrying on a conversation. For a guy with ADHD and really bad social anxiety, I'm surprised I got that far. I know it's not because of my looks or because of my personality. I have many friends across the states alone who love me for who I am, and I am very confident in my appearance. I've just never had a woman be seriously interested in any sort of relationship with me. I'm still pretty young, so I'm trying to keep my head up, but it's tough out here.
There’s someone out there for everyone. Even the crazies lol. Takes time, but in the meantime keep putting yourself out there. Someone will give you the same energy and time you deserve. Make sure your morals and values line up.
@@beautyandbrainz That is not true. Sometimes there are 10 women for a guy, 2 wives for a husband, 100 women for only 2 guys, they put them in rotation, etc. and sometimes they do it at once. Could we just avoid downplaying a serious problem the dating market has these days? Hook up culture, feminism, parties, Metoomovement, pornography, female hypergamy, you name it, it is not that simple.
@@beautyandbrainz
"There’s someone out there for everyone."
Any cursory examination of society would quickly tell you that is not true.
I’m a girl and I’m in nearly the exact same boat
@@beautyandbrainz I appreciate the encouraging words! And will do!
As a 24 year old make,I agree with this…never had a relationship ever in my life it was always constant rejection…some people find me wholesome and pure,but also confused as to why I wasn’t with someone yet…I’m still trying,I’m still failing,but I’m not losing hope
Thanks Brett!
I'm now 38 and when I was younger it was immensely easier to talk to, interact, and be around women. Then somewhere things changed and the process seems like its overthinking. It's like walking on egg shells with women on so many levels. I always felt I had to do everything in a relationship and I think that's gotten worse with the girl boss mentality. I think social media has done some real damage to both genders and social interaction.
I’m a female and I agree but I’m younger and so confused. A few boys called my friend a slut for sleeping with a guy and having two exes but they made fun of me for never having anything romantic in my life
@@frogfell3126sounds to me like the people of your age group aren’t fully developed up there and just need some time to mature. give it time and the confusion will clear, just trust the process 😉
Yeah I'm 29 and I can tell you that up until 2016 or so dating was very easy. Tinder even was easy as pie, nobody overthought it, everybody was chill, you could meet people in person, things were relaxed. I really noticed it around 2018 or 2019 that women had become very mean and nasty, scammy, or, well...they were dudes who became ladies
Nailed it. Social media has damaged peoples abilities to socialize in person.
@@frogfell3126This generation does not know what it wants.
I am a young dude. My perspective on dating and asking a girl out is fear. Part of that is the fact that I live in Southern California; so there's roughly a 70% chance of whoever I ask out to be a nut job who will publicly embarrass me or accuses me of being a horrible person. Part of it is the fact that the only women that I would actually want to ask out are women that I work with or have worked with. This means that the potential consequences in today's day could be that I get fired because I revealed that I hold more conservative views to a coworker. Another part of it is that I don't want to constantly be expending not only my time and effort but also money, just to get backhanded again and again. Maybe this is some terminally online shit but I don't wanna pay for none of that girl's stuff until I know shes serious and not just going on a date to get a nice free dinner. And obviously there is another part of it: me just being a pussy and not wanting to do it. I would hope that last part is less of a contributor than the others , but you can never be so certain.
Blablabla get of the internet man. Touch grass
Yeah, you pretty much summed it up. Too much risky investment that doesn't feel worth it unless it's for something real serious. That, and the ever-present risk of rejection and public humiliation.
Southern California is a beast on it’s own. I live in Texas, I also have conservative views, and it is a absolute nightmare trying to find a guy who shares the same religion and political beliefs as I do. I kid you not I was in a duel credit program and out of 180 students 3 where conservative and Christian.. I was one of the three and the other two were brothers. Either I need to move to a different state or I’m never going to find someone lol. It’s so sad that all I can do is laugh at it and hope for the best.
@@abbyhoglund2184 If you're looking for a conservative Christian, then there's no better place than church. That, or some kind of Republican convention or event.
Yeah I'm pretty sure the rate of cluster B personality disorders in Cali chicks is probably 10x higher than most states.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one in this boat
it's too dangerous for men to approach women these days. A women can say we are sexually harassing her just by talking to her with zero physical contact and its game over. We lose our jobs at a minimum. Feminism has made the dating game for men too risky, and a lot of men are not taking that risk.
I didn’t have my first kiss until age 30, and I was ridiculously self-conscious about it. Figured guys would make negative assumptions about me for my lack of experience. So dumb. Met my now husband and he viewed it as a positive. And I love the fact that my first kiss was with the man who became my husband. I have zero relationship baggage and it is so great. I agree wholeheartedly with Brett: don’t chase after experiences just for the sake of an experience or because you feel like a loser. Make it meaningful and you won’t regret it.
Thats the dream. So many guys are looking for this.
My first kiss is my husband too! He feels so so special that he has that from me. 😊
@@websterriLooking for a 30 year old? I'll take a 30 year old virgin over a 20 year old sloor, but let's be real... men are not looking for 30 year olds in aggregate for relationships.
30? bit late, you cant have 10 babies if you start at 30. 3rd world is breeding us out of existence
I agree wholeheartedly about the not chasing experiences. I had my first kiss days before my 23rd birthday, but it was with my now husband as well. We're actually each other's first kiss, and it is so special for both of us.
The world needs more women like Brett, especially in this day and age.
There are women like Brett but they don't have a popular TH-cam channel with 2.5 million subscribers. You just have to find them out there.
She looks like Ben Shapiro's daughter.
@@Gaze73 That's right Baby. Ooh la la.
@@Gaze73 I never knew how to put it into words but that is it
@@Gaze73 She looks like Ben Shapiro's son
Hey Brett I love your shirt where’d you get it? I’d love to get it!
Sometimes I feel so out of place in this society being a guy who’s never hooked up with anyone. I’ve had sex, but never outside of a relationship. I’ve just never had any interest in it because it seems pointless to me to do that with someone I don’t care about and doesn’t care about me. It’s nice to see that there are other people who really want a solid relationship and aren’t caught up in hookup culture
I'm 23 I've kissed a girl once and I'm a virgin. I have asked girls out at work, at school and college when I was younger and have been blanked, received well and acknowledged but got no reply after getting the initial "yes" and just out right ignored. I haven't spent this time idle though, I have gone out, enjoyed myself made new friends but I would never say "I'm a ladies magnet". I have grown up in other areas of my life but relationships and love is just something that seems to pass me by; like its an inside joke that everyones in on but me.
From watching your video (even though its from a women's perspective) I must say I feel relieved as when your in this situation you definitely feel like the only one and it can be soul destroying at times. So I just wanna thank you for bringing light to this and that there is hope out there.
I quit asking women out after college. Every girl I had ever asked out since HS rejected me. I'm average, not handsome, not ugly but I am 6'3 so at least I have that. I had a friend that forced me on a blind date with her friend, I didn't want to go knowing I'd get rejected yet again but I relented. We've been married 10 years now.
I guess from what im heaing. Its just a game of taking chances
@@m.v.r752that’s what love is sometimes you just meet someone you click with sometimes it doesn’t work out
@@m.v.r752and 80% of the time you lose. Yes, that includes after you get hitched. The game is not worth the risk.
I resonate with this and I'm currently in the same situation myself. I'm 23 yo and never dated or had that kind of experience yet. I do not agree with putting so much importance in the "social construct" or "social pressure" . I thing the girl in question didn't have to worry while posting the video on tiktok because of any of that, and neither did the girls in the comments. If the social pressure was what bothers us, as you said, we would just get drunk and go kiss someone to get it over with. The main problem is the frustration. Around your twenties you step into adulthood. It's not necessarily nice to be single but you have other stuff to worry about. When you start getting a little bit older tho everything gets even more stationary. You consolidate a certain routine for yourself, you have to go to work and take care of your responsibilities and the opportunities to meet someone just become lower. As she said "you don't see it changing any time soon" . Plus the situation gets worse if you have to worry about the fact that you don't have experience. It's like not knowing a part of ourself. You still haven't learned what you like, what you don't like or how you feel comfortable acting in specific situations. Having to navigate these things in middle school is like participating in a simulation, you're just testing things out like everyone else. But laking that type of experience when you're older it's terrifying because you can't just give for granted that everyone around you is at the same level anymore.
As a guy with crippling anxiety, it is so hard to get out there and ask a girl out. Just wish I knew if they liked me first. Rejection is no fun.
The sad thing is is that there is so much pressure on our generation to get this experience while we’re young so we “won’t be behind”. I remember my first year of college my group of “friends” made fun of me bc I said I am waiting for marriage, and I had received so much backlash from them. I can only imagine what this girl experiences from her friends/the people she surrounds herself with.
Sad truth
I mean, hate to be that guy, but if they are making fun of you for making reasonable choices, are they really your friends?
@@felipeferreira00 read the comment again. She put friends in quote marks
@@kairon5249 Still leaves a bit of room for interpretation
Mad respect to you for waiting until marriage. Don't let anyone knock you down for that, it's honourable and in my opinion, a great thing to do! :)
I'm a 37yr old man and I've stopped asking out women... my last few relationships I've been used lied to cheated on mentally and physically abused and treated like shit. I just have no urge to experience any of that again
trust me lad you will find the one! take a few months or years of rest from the dating life, and trust me you will be refreshed and ready to find the one!
@@rasmusgregersen9818There is no the one. You settle for less or your alone
Im 39 and inthe same boat...a lot of the women i meet are the definition of crazy
@@rasmusgregersen9818 There is no "the one". There is only compromise.
32-year-old man here, pretty much the same situation. I have no inclination to constantly ruin my own life, so it makes the prospect of even asking a woman out pretty, ah... unappealing.
There IS love out there people! Don't make yourself suffer!
Completely agree. I'm 22 and single and not interested in playing games. That is why I stay single
Brett really just hit us with the ol "son, you don't need a girl friend, what you need is a grill friend"
Women's number one love is attention and their second love is money
@@Canyoureadmydeadpanens number one love is sex and number two is sexual assault
@@flowersent9614 Nothing wrong with attention and money. Now you called us men rapists, you should be ashamed of yourself. Look like you don't have father not brothers. Your life must be so sad.
@@Canyoureadmydeadpan If that's the kind of people you surround yourself with, that says more about you than them, as people generally surround themselves with like-minded individuals. If you surround yourself with disgusting degenerates, you are probably a disgusting degenerate yourself.
@@flowersent9614 If that's the kind of people you surround yourself with, that says more about you than them, as people generally surround themselves with like-minded individuals. If you surround yourself with disgusting degenerates, you are probably a disgusting degenerate yourself.