this is really interesting. I'm not a system, nor do i personally know any, so this was really good to realise that you're not functional DESPITE being in a system, you're functional BECAUSE you're in a system
i feel like half, so I won't know. I used to think I had more stagnation than I do. maybe view it more like "are you still the you when you were 17 and thought you could talk to the spirits of fictional characters because you only hung out with them?" or asking a 14 year old wolfkin if they are going to be howling and m-shifting with their pack when they are 67 or perhaps you ask the real you for those with mental and emotional instablity, or psycopaths
i love the way you describe this, you’re so right! it’s called a system for a reason. tech systems don’t function without other components in the same way D I D systems can’t function without the other “components” (alters).
The part about feeling incomplete and anxious when you try to be your own discrete person really hit home for me. I literally struggled with feeling like I wasn't a full human being and felt perpetually alone until I discovered my alters. I love them dearly now - we survived because of each other.
Also as a system who’s new to knowing they are a system, I’m really impressed with this metaphor. I’ve been trying to explain this to my boyfriend for like weeks
We think of our system like that too. Individual alters, but we are aware that we're part of the same system, the same mind, and the base goal we all try to have is to propel the body's life forward and we have to figure out how to work together to do that.
you are? I thought you did not need your own brain to have a mind. that is how one can be awake and doing things in an innerworld, thinking and feeling, while another mind is making the body drive to a doctor appointment
My fav metaphor for this is the alters are each an American state. They all make up America and it’s not America without every state. But Florida is not Texas. They’re both American states but not quite the same.
my adopted dad recognized what I was describing to him early on might have been DID(his ex wife had DID and he'd been with her to many specialists & did his research). He explained it to me like trauma had shattered the bowl, and the cracks(dissociation & lack of inner communication) could be put back together with gold(healing, inner communication). we're an otherwise closeted system, but because of the analogy he used, kintsugi had become something special to us personally, so I was really happy to see your video :) thank you for always putting out insightful and hopeful videos
I love this metaphor! Its such an important thing to remind people that this is the only way the brain (of people with DID) knows how to function and keep the body and overall mental state going. I've seen so many people glamorizing DID within this community and the individual alters but I always felt they lost sight of reality (without meaning to ofc). It's nice and so good to be supportive of individual alters and their wants and needs but it is also important to respect that they have this huge task of being sort of a cog in a machine. Without them or their cooperation the machine would either not work all together or definitely have some issues functioning to its full potential at the least. This video definitely helped give me perspective on my own mental state and Big Thoughts (as i like to call them) that I've been having lately.
Your explanation of your alters wanting to become their own individuals really touched me. My protector Sawyer wanted to be her own person so badly that she actually physically harmed the body. She's since made up for it and there's a lot of communication going on. Thank you so much for providing this information and being so fun and kind about it.
I've been struggling a lot. Wanted to just, go away and let everyone else take over the whole life thing and be the better version that I don't seem to be able to.. be, grow, fix. But after this vid, I need to reconsider everything. Again. Thanks?
This I can relate to, the former host of this system did just that. Once he found out he was part of a system he gave up. I took over, it's been twenty-five years and I don't think I would change anything.
I can relate. And we have so many host changes and fronting Team changes it's hard to keep up.It seems like I am a new one? Again?! I just want it to stop. I still try to understand whats going on and Most of the time I do not feel whole not even as my own individual piece😔so it's hard to accept and understand to be part of one Bowling If you dont even know the shape of your part.
..I think we’re experiencing that idea of one of us... actually, multiple, in my system’s case, wants to be their own person. And it’s so hard, because I’m trans, ftm, and pre-everything, and dressing at all like a girl makes me soo dysphoric, but then I have an alter who wears dresses and makeup and I come to in a dress, and I go into a dysphoric panic attack and it’s just.,. It’s not good. Idk if I make any sense or not...I’m sorry if I don’t, I just got done having a really bad nightmare, so... yeah.
You make complete sense. Sorry you and the other system members have to work out such strongly conflicting needs. Are you able to talk in the headspace or communicate in another way and negotiste schedule for the feminine alter to be out and in girly clothes?
@@lucapierson953 we are also ftm and only have one girl in our system of around 20. we wrote her notes and talked to her and she agreed its cool for us to start t but we're gonna buy her some eyeliner or something
Our system is mixed across genders as well. Though most of us are some kind of LGBTQA+. As the host and an FTM trans person I feel like redefining society's "standards" to our own helped us. While being in a dress is still super dysphoric we make compromises to paint our nails and stuff. Everyone has become pretty comfortable and confident in their Expression by using different styles and colors. It's pretty fun and sometimes a nice binding time since we usually listen to music or watch movies while we paint them.
Honestly it would be really interesting to see a “day in the life” (I’m not sure if it’s been done) to kinda further show how “typical” your life is despite having DID and how people interact with you daily. And hopefully we’ll get to see your cat, they look adorable
This makes complete sense, and also wonderfully visualises why each and every alter is valid and serve an important role in the system. The bowl is no longer complete and may not function if one piece is missing.
A super lovely metaphor! I think you are absolutely correct in the importance of having this conversation. A lot of the pushback I’ve seen about talking about alters as “individuals”, to borrow your air quotes, are from people who view complete fusion as the /only/ correct goal of treatment. They seem to see anything about alters developing their own interests or making their own friends as entirely counterproductive to healing - they don’t view multiplicity as something can be functional and healthy, they think that anyone who wishes to not fuse is feeding the disorder in a dangerous way. And so this middle ground of understanding that yes we are all equally valid and valued but yes we all are part of the same whole is a really really important balance to strike for community conversations. Thank you for such a thoughtful video 💞💞💞
Our body had a miscarriage a week ago, and things have just felt chaotic. So many different strengths are needed to survive this, and the bowl helps explain even tho different, we need eachother.
...Our system (The Minties or Mints) have been coming to terms with our DID. Things have been hard. We have had communication breakdowns. But otherwise. We understand that we have our roles. Thanks a lot for this video. It gave me especially a great new insight to it. And I've been around for less than a month. So I've been trying to educate myself and getting the facts ready so I can help. Thank you and many blessings to you. -Tina Mint
I'm a system that recently became super self aware!!! (Or at least parts of me did....) and we're so excited to hear this! Some of us already fully get it, but watching this video is good for some of our other parts too I feel like and hopefully it will help them come to terms with being part of a bigger whole that we share
We commented on your last video about this subject. Well I didn't. My alter did. We're an OSDD1b system, but we can relate to things being chaotic when we're not all working together. Last week I found it odd to see my alter comment about feeling oppressed by mine and my alter Pete's need to get a degree, and have called us tyrants at times. Pete doesn't handle her comments well because he's younger and often gives into her passive influence when she's craving alcohol. (I'm starting to think she takes in a lot of our system's emotional reaction to stress, and like any normal person wants to just drink it away-- maybe that's where that we're separate but we're whole thing comes in?) Anyway...It's finals week, and we honestly worried she'd throw us off track. All of our exams are now online, and different. I'm not sure what you said in your video last week, I haven't watched it, but something you said made her empathize and work with us this week. Or, it's just true as you said in this video -- we work better together, and we're just being a system. Thank you. :)
I'll be honest, the whole idea of "separate but whole" is.... really comforting to me as a recovering persecutor. It makes me feel more like I'm recovering for myself as a whole, than just for the rest of my system. It's nice to feel.
you’re absolutely right and thank you for saying this. as someone who is new to discovering my own system, we were always super clear about knowing we were part of one functioning person, individuals who need validation but ultimately part of one brain that needs every bit to form a fully functioning whole. and that’s something that people avoid talking about in DID communities and it’s kept us away from a lot of conversations with other systems who maybe have a higher level of dissociation than us. so thank you for bringing this up - you’re incredibly brave with your topic choices as always
Hi Daniel. I’m Willow and I am a part of a system. Just wanted to give you a big thumbs up on the metaphor and how you broke it down. I’ve used a plate metaphor to explain it to my kids but definitely like the bowl better. I wish I saw this video when I came out about being DID to my family. Thanks for this video.
I'd like to imagine a system as a bowl made out of clay, they're pieces from a big clay bowl, but they can still work by themselves. Putting all the clay pieces together makes the system, a system.
Hey, Daniel! Always good to see you. While we prefer your orange analogy, bowls are good! For our system it has been a matter of untangling ourselves from that 'whole' in order to find our own unique voices in order to help the whole/core. This has actually led to some surprising results- for example last night Mimi, one of our persecutors, stepped in and took control of one of our littles, who had taken over the front and threw us into an anxiety/trauma flashback loop that took us the better part of an hour to break out of, and about another two hours to stabilize from. If our tween Mimi had not stepped in and helped just then we likely would have ended up in the hospital. So you are correct, all the pieces are part of the whole... but could not help the whole without the separation of being an alter.
great job Mimi! i hope you are all feeling better today. that sounds super exhausting. i know i always feel worn out after fighting out of flashbacks. take care of yourselves today.
@@erinlovescheese We're wiped, but very grateful for her actions. Out of everything we swear it's the body memories that are THE WORST part of it. 😖 Thanks for the support and be well! 😊
I absolutely adore this metaphor. As host I struggle a lot with doubt issues and just acceptance and honestly looking at it this way is really comforting.
So beautifully worded. As a system member myself, it is very validating to here that others feel that we are our own people (which we do view ourselves as) I am a co-host and do have a mother within the system and it is so comforting to hear your system say this. Thank you Daniel, you did an amazing job explaining and wording this and thank you to your system for educating us. -Eva and Clara
I completely understand. I've used a clock as a more mechanical analogy. A clock is only a clock when all the gears, cogs, and pieces are together in the right place; only then, will it work cohesively; all parts big and small matter, some can get put together to support eachother better. Strength in unity, Confidence in individuality.
Thanks for doing this video, it’s been a struggle for some of us to understand we all need each other and are all pieces of a whole. I think the video explained it very well, keep up the good work. Have a wonderful day/night everyone - Lucy and Adrien | the sandbox system
This helps us ! We always felt that we were a real team that does the work of one person, we can't function if we're not together. This video helped us remember how important cooperation is.
I loved this video! This is a topic that I never really understood and this video cleared it up a ton! Thank you for is video! I loved the bowl metaphors as well!
Yeah, I think this is a pretty great analogy. The movement of "we are separate people" did a lot of harm to me when I...came out of doing everything I could do to deny my experiences and as a result alters hit back at me REALLY HARD later on....and at the time in the online platforms I could find, everyone was like, "They are all different people!" The extreme of complete denial is just as bad as the extreme of trying to really push individuality, and it's an absolute shame that I and some other people I've seen are really timid about admitting how our inner systems work. So thank you so much for this. I'm really grateful that in the past few years, there's been some very level-headed and educationally minded people out there. It's super necessary, not just for education but also to reassure people who come vulnerable and trying to find help and connections some places. Also, thank you for being very clear about how within that singularity there are still some differing views and thoughts and therefore reactions in life coming out of it. I and the strongest people in my system are VERY strong about having a VERY united front - it's even uncomfortable to have begun this sentence by specifying "I and...." - however, there are some HIGHLY differing life views, opinions, and reactions, some of who would get really annoyed with this video, but just don't get put 'out there' because I (and...) keep a close guard on those differing opinions that are agreed to be bizarre to any perspective outside of myself. I guess this is a long way of saying that this analogy is great because it's very balanced and very specific while also being real and educational, and that's greatly appreciated.
Lol did anyone else start thinking of Kamikaze Girls when Momoko’a grandma told her she was a bowl? It’s such a good metaphor even in kamikaze girls where it’s used differently.
Daniel, thank you. A lot of us have been struggling with wanting to be individual and I think it helped us to see the bowl and realize that we can't miss even one piece of our bowl
makes perfect sense! Before we started to cooperate, our system was in 'everyman/woman/child for him/her self mode'. There was a lot of clamour and confusion. With the help of therapy, we have begun to cooperate. still a lot of trauma to be dealt with but slowly, we are building a strong team of collaborative helpers. We have yet to become a 'whole bowl' but getting there.
Thank you so much for making content that’s easy to understand and so informative! Also we just started a yt channel for my system so we can talk about our experiences ❤️
This video really resonated with me. I've been struggling with the individuality thing with my system and this has been really comforting to think about. instead of feeling and acting like I'm a bowl and everyone else is other bowls, this put into perspective the amount that we all are just pieces of the same bowl, and in order to actually do what our function is, we need to work together and uplift each other or else all the pieces will fall apart and become nonfunctional. Working towards that cohesiveness is something I'm going to have a think about. Thank you :)
I loved all of this. It was all SO important to healing w/ DID. But esp the end part where Daniel mentioned how accepting the "same but different" paradox gives comfort towards changes in the system (fusions/integrations, dormancy, etc). The fact tht all the same stuff still exists n we haven't lost parts of ourself is smth tht brung us a lot of comfort to accept as well. Loved the vid yg!
make sure it is one that knows alters are literal people. a dog alter is a real dog, just lacks a dog body. you don't need your own brain to be have a mind. as I have gathered from the community.
You have brought so much positivity and truth. Y'all will be sorely missed. I hope the future is bright for you, you've earned it. Sending love, light, and healing. Thank you all for making me feel valued, valid, and loved.
aa i’m not sure how to word this so i do Apologise if i come off clunky or rude!! ,>> I’ve only recently been taking interest in and learning about D.I.D, what it is, how it works, so forth; And hearing your perspective on how you perceive the system as seperate but one has really helped explain and shed light on a new topic or idea i would never have thought of from what i currently know! I think it’s really important and i do want to thank you for voicing this sort of thing!! D.I.D is so much more complex than what i first thought before taking steps to actually learn about & hearing multiple opinions and different metaphors that can be used to describe such things are incredibly helpful to broadening just how diverse and messy in a sense things can get y’know? Maybe not, But It is important to listen to a wide range of thoughts and opinions from the community & i really appreciate you explaining things in such a concise and clear manner!
I have always said to people that there are so many things that people do everyday that I just can't. Since finding out we are part of a system things seem easier even though more complicated since we can work together more directly. Not sure if that makes sense.
Thank you! This definitely helps me to better explain how it is systems work in separate alters, but being one cohesive unit. I myself have seen improvement since coming to accept that I function better (and less volatile) as part of the "bowl", instead of expecting myself to hold everything in our "bowl"; using only my piece of it.
We have a broken & reglued (without the awesome gold color in it) tea cup (from Japan, too). I love to use that as an example... "We're not diff cups of the set, we're THIS cup" and ask "now that this is glued together, which part is 'original'" to shatter THAT myth. {\Pixie/}
I think our host will like this video when he finally gets around to watching it. With denial reering it’s head more than ever recently, we as a whole have done our best to stay connected and stay comfortable. We may struggle but this video definitely brings some solace.
This makes total sense! I had seen some negative comments to do with this topic recently but I wasn't sure how to react as someone without DID. This has really put it into perspective!
The bowl... huh. THIS SYSTEM LOVES IT. I’d say that it’s like fine china with those tiny fractures in the design. Chaos and that stuff created those fractures, but that’s what makes it so beautiful. We can all find beauty in the other cracks.
I prefer this explanation. As an alter struggling right now this couldn't have came at a better time. Sometimes I struggle with feeling very alone as the only male in our system. And today seems to be one of those days. But this, thinking about how I'm not alone and that I'm still important to our "bowl" Really helps. So thank you for being awesome! -Jeremy from The Gecko System
I love the bowl! I use to say my alters were a trivial pursuit wedge. I was also searching for the original piece. As soon as I heard your bowl theory, it made much more sense up there to my system. Thank you all for doing the videos. They teach me so much as I'm just starting trauma and DID therapy. You help so much more. 💗 The Kaleidoscope System
Thank you for helping me inderstand a bit more about D.I.D. You explain it amazingly well that which can be complex to understand for those of us without lived experience. Massive respect.
This is something we recently sturggled with. Many of us felt a desite to want to be our own seperate selves, but thankfully now we have all come together and realize that we are right where we need to be, holding the bowl together and working with each other. Thank you for making this video Daniel. It really helped validate and strengthen what we have come to realize.
Thank you Daniel! We’ve been diagnosed for about 17 months and this subject has been a real struggle for some members of our system and I think you have explained it well... We will definitely be showing this video to other people in our life to help them understand.
This honestly just makes it easier for me to understand how alters are 'shaped' for a lack of better word and how DID works... before I was always slightly confused about how all those alters could exists within one body. iT just didn't make sense before you said that you are all part of the same brain simply with amnesia between you and that these different section have created their own sense of identity. That really made it click so thanks for that
i'm the host of my system, and honestly i really liked that. that's probably the best way I've seen/heard it be explained -charlie, host of the starry skies system
Thank you for covering this topic! When people say "My alters are all different people, and are not part of a whole" (literally saw this twice on social media yesterday), I get concerned about what System Responsibility looks like in their systems. Because all the parts of my System are part of the same whole, my wife only had to marry us once, but has cultivated different relationships with each of us. --Noah Et Al
Because of people like you and others that are spreading awareness about this condition I am more open about being a system. With that in answer to your question Daniel, I agree. We can not exist with out the others, and although we might not share the same idea about things, we do work together to achieve the main goals we set for ourselves.
Thank you for this. We've been feeling super displaced both in the world and with each other in the system, and this was a really helpful, reassuring reminder. -Sage
We went from categorizing some pretty drastic behavioral changes in our system as alters and fragments to realizing that they couldn't be categorized that way. And now that we know we all have this thing in common without it being attributable to passive influence or a switch, it's definitely forced us to reconcile with the fact that we really are part of the same mind. I think that would have been almost impossible for me to accept if I didn't learn about the idea if "oneness" in college, because it is a paradox, but you can at least kind of grasp it on a spiritual level. I think you're right, too, that people should learn more about multiplicity for what it is.
This is so real! Thank you for this, sending to my partner who understands this HEAVILY (theyve seen the switches and get it more than most Ive met) but this may help them get it even more 😊
We don't talk about DID like that 👀🤷🏼♀️ We actually fight a lot against the confusing information of some english speaking channels... unfortunately🙄 So thanks for pointing that out too💙
I’ve definitely said before that if I could have my own body I would. But I know that could never happen which is why I imagine lol. I know I’m part of a bigger whole and I wouldn’t be able to function on my own. Honestly the idea was more or less that I sometimes wish the body we use looked like how I look inner world instead of how the host looks. And I do still wish that sometimes tbh - Danny
You're awesome dude. The bowl analogy was great, and works well. While there may be parts that think they would be better off alone, the reality of it is, that without the rest of the group, an individual part doesn't function as well as they might think. It's a good lesson, both for those who are singlets and those who are multiples. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for this video! Most of my alters are afraid to show how they usually act in life just because of individuals around me that won’t believe the diagnosis unless they see that I’m acting differently than me! DID is just the splitting of consciousness! I’m still me! I just have other parts of me that help me out with life!
This absolutely made sense- I love the metaphor of the bowl and something I particularly love is that with these bowls it’s traditionally done with the gold like you have and so it has that extra layer of it may have been broken but it’s still beautiful once it comes back together
I always appreciate that your system brings new thoughts about DID to the table. It feels like a lot of talking about DID comes down to just getting the other party to understand basic concepts, but this disorder is so complex that just using quick and easy metaphors comes off as too general. Most of my system doesn't see themselves as living life without me. We were made together. But, there are some alters that have ideas and desires that just don't work with everyone. It's a very interesting conversation and I appreciate you taking the time to make this video to try and help to explain to people that don't have DID how nuanced this disorder is.
I think this was a great analogy. It definitely landed well with me. What I worry is that some alters (particularly hosts who have always been the host) come to the erroneous conclusion that their individual "identity state" is the whole bowl rather than a piece of the bowl, and that other "identity states" are pieces of them rather than pieces of the whole. All of that "parts of you" language around alters can get really misleading when one alter thinks the "you" is them specifically and not all of the alters together. I think it has potential to be really harmful, and I really wish people (especially therapists) were more explicit about host alters also being pieces of the whole.
Interesting metaphor that can be used to explain DID to people who just don’t get it. Funny, years ago before I was diagnosed I had a decorative plate that fell from the wall. Rather than throw it out I glued it back together and hung it back up. It took on a new meaning of still being beautiful even if it had ‘fractured’. It was my way of showing you can put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
This might be the most important video you have ever made and you are the person who helped me have the realization that my lack of sense of self is because I have multiple. My partner has DID and has used this exact analogy and now I have to go rewatch it with them :) I wish I could be more articulate but its early :p
The explanation is exactly why we describe ourselves as facets of a single gem. Points of a single star. Something I (the protector) encourage in the background constantly, especially by messing with dreams, to avoid issues of attempting to reject the system. Without that active choice to describe things that way, my active efforts to create imagery of parts of one whole, we would not be functional. At the same time, I need to be careful not to be overt about that message, because the host can only handle our parents keeping old pictures prominently on the wall by refusing to be the previous host who lived those faces, who had their identity. Another's entire role is ensuring the system retains dignity and pride. Which requires she have incredible pride in her independence, in standing on her own. Essentially, most of our system needs to be able to feel like we can go our own way, to be comfortable cooperating. While contradicting themselves by feeling like parts of a whole, to see a reason to cooperate.
I know for my system, We have been really struggling with a triggered fusion since last October. Thank you for this video. It helped to know the missing alter is still a part of the system even though they have fused into other alters.
Thank you for this. We have had a fusion, and there was a sense of some loss, but reframing that to think we are still the same bowl, just one less crack, makes it not feel like such a loss.
Love the bowl metaphor. Also thank you for validating the fact that not all systems work great together right away. Our system is getting better it was a challenge at first. And still is sometimes honesty.
Wow, you really knocked it out of the park with this vid. Amazing job at explaining, Daniel!! I thought you were both thorough and entertaining. 😊. Thank you all for the great work that you do! 🤍🧡🖤
so extremely validating!!!!!! thank you for this. we relate. also honestly what a powerful message to put out into the world right now... it's interesting to think about what other kinds of "bowls" that might exist in the world too (the human species, for example, or the earth, the universe, etc.)
I’m learning and trying to understand how to best function and validate my system. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your videos it has made my chaos make more sense.
Yes! I have been thinking about this a lot lately. We managed to watch most of this video co-con and did an exercise where we held hands to make a circle in the head as we listened to the bowl analogy, and it was an amazing moment of shared learning. Thank you so much for explaining it so well Daniel, and for tackling the topic in general. It also really helps us process a recent fusion we've been struggling with.
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this is really interesting. I'm not a system, nor do i personally know any, so this was really good to realise that you're not functional DESPITE being in a system, you're functional BECAUSE you're in a system
I love the bowl metaphor, in my story I explained it as a pizza with different toppings but it's one big pizza still
I use this metaphor a lot, especially given how often people ask things like, "Which one is the REAL you?" or "Who's the ORIGINAL person?"
No.
i feel like half, so I won't know. I used to think I had more stagnation than I do.
maybe view it more like "are you still the you when you were 17 and thought you could talk to the spirits of fictional characters because you only hung out with them?" or asking a 14 year old wolfkin if they are going to be howling and m-shifting with their pack when they are 67
or perhaps you ask the real you for those with mental and emotional instablity, or psycopaths
i love the way you describe this, you’re so right! it’s called a system for a reason. tech systems don’t function without other components in the same way D I D systems can’t function without the other “components” (alters).
The part about feeling incomplete and anxious when you try to be your own discrete person really hit home for me. I literally struggled with feeling like I wasn't a full human being and felt perpetually alone until I discovered my alters. I love them dearly now - we survived because of each other.
Also as a system who’s new to knowing they are a system, I’m really impressed with this metaphor. I’ve been trying to explain this to my boyfriend for like weeks
Same! He just cant seem to understand that the other alters matter and are real people
Same here! I will be sending this to people close to me because I haven't been able to explain this at all.
We think of our system like that too. Individual alters, but we are aware that we're part of the same system, the same mind, and the base goal we all try to have is to propel the body's life forward and we have to figure out how to work together to do that.
you are? I thought you did not need your own brain to have a mind. that is how one can be awake and doing things in an innerworld, thinking and feeling, while another mind is making the body drive to a doctor appointment
My fav metaphor for this is the alters are each an American state. They all make up America and it’s not America without every state. But Florida is not Texas. They’re both American states but not quite the same.
That's pretty cool! So I guess the host would be comparable to Washington D.C.?
my adopted dad recognized what I was describing to him early on might have been DID(his ex wife had DID and he'd been with her to many specialists & did his research). He explained it to me like trauma had shattered the bowl, and the cracks(dissociation & lack of inner communication) could be put back together with gold(healing, inner communication).
we're an otherwise closeted system, but because of the analogy he used, kintsugi had become something special to us personally, so I was really happy to see your video :) thank you for always putting out insightful and hopeful videos
I love this metaphor! Its such an important thing to remind people that this is the only way the brain (of people with DID) knows how to function and keep the body and overall mental state going. I've seen so many people glamorizing DID within this community and the individual alters but I always felt they lost sight of reality (without meaning to ofc). It's nice and so good to be supportive of individual alters and their wants and needs but it is also important to respect that they have this huge task of being sort of a cog in a machine. Without them or their cooperation the machine would either not work all together or definitely have some issues functioning to its full potential at the least. This video definitely helped give me perspective on my own mental state and Big Thoughts (as i like to call them) that I've been having lately.
you can be a system without DID though. I don't quite believe it
Your explanation of your alters wanting to become their own individuals really touched me. My protector Sawyer wanted to be her own person so badly that she actually physically harmed the body. She's since made up for it and there's a lot of communication going on. Thank you so much for providing this information and being so fun and kind about it.
I've been struggling a lot. Wanted to just, go away and let everyone else take over the whole life thing and be the better version that I don't seem to be able to.. be, grow, fix.
But after this vid, I need to reconsider everything. Again.
Thanks?
This I can relate to, the former host of this system did just that. Once he found out he was part of a system he gave up. I took over, it's been twenty-five years and I don't think I would change anything.
Don't give up. You're stronger than you know. You're not alone. /systemsupport 💪
I'll let her know :3 Thank you!
I can relate. And we have so many host changes and fronting Team changes it's hard to keep up.It seems like I am a new one? Again?! I just want it to stop. I still try to understand whats going on and Most of the time I do not feel whole not even as my own individual piece😔so it's hard to accept and understand to be part of one Bowling If you dont even know the shape of your part.
..I think we’re experiencing that idea of one of us... actually, multiple, in my system’s case, wants to be their own person. And it’s so hard, because I’m trans, ftm, and pre-everything, and dressing at all like a girl makes me soo dysphoric, but then I have an alter who wears dresses and makeup and I come to in a dress, and I go into a dysphoric panic attack and it’s just.,. It’s not good. Idk if I make any sense or not...I’m sorry if I don’t, I just got done having a really bad nightmare, so... yeah.
You make complete sense. Sorry you and the other system members have to work out such strongly conflicting needs. Are you able to talk in the headspace or communicate in another way and negotiste schedule for the feminine alter to be out and in girly clothes?
Ceridwen Taliesin Other than leaving notes and hoping she finds them, and my mom (who doesn’t know I’m a system for good reason) doesn’t? No.
@@lucapierson953 we are also ftm and only have one girl in our system of around 20.
we wrote her notes and talked to her and she agreed its cool for us to start t but we're gonna buy her some eyeliner or something
Our system is mixed across genders as well. Though most of us are some kind of LGBTQA+. As the host and an FTM trans person I feel like redefining society's "standards" to our own helped us. While being in a dress is still super dysphoric we make compromises to paint our nails and stuff. Everyone has become pretty comfortable and confident in their Expression by using different styles and colors.
It's pretty fun and sometimes a nice binding time since we usually listen to music or watch movies while we paint them.
Honestly it would be really interesting to see a “day in the life” (I’m not sure if it’s been done) to kinda further show how “typical” your life is despite having DID and how people interact with you daily.
And hopefully we’ll get to see your cat, they look adorable
Right now it would be boring as hell. Quarantine doesn’t lend itself to an interesting day 😂
they have two cats and they are super adorable!
Oh, you'll see Leah! She's made many catbombs!
This makes complete sense, and also wonderfully visualises why each and every alter is valid and serve an important role in the system. The bowl is no longer complete and may not function if one piece is missing.
A super lovely metaphor! I think you are absolutely correct in the importance of having this conversation.
A lot of the pushback I’ve seen about talking about alters as “individuals”, to borrow your air quotes, are from people who view complete fusion as the /only/ correct goal of treatment. They seem to see anything about alters developing their own interests or making their own friends as entirely counterproductive to healing - they don’t view multiplicity as something can be functional and healthy, they think that anyone who wishes to not fuse is feeding the disorder in a dangerous way. And so this middle ground of understanding that yes we are all equally valid and valued but yes we all are part of the same whole is a really really important balance to strike for community conversations. Thank you for such a thoughtful video 💞💞💞
Our body had a miscarriage a week ago, and things have just felt chaotic. So many different strengths are needed to survive this, and the bowl helps explain even tho different, we need eachother.
...Our system (The Minties or Mints) have been coming to terms with our DID. Things have been hard. We have had communication breakdowns. But otherwise. We understand that we have our roles. Thanks a lot for this video. It gave me especially a great new insight to it. And I've been around for less than a month. So I've been trying to educate myself and getting the facts ready so I can help. Thank you and many blessings to you. -Tina Mint
I find DID systems to be one of, if not, the best analogy for the concept of the biblical trinity. Different persons but one being.
I'm a system that recently became super self aware!!! (Or at least parts of me did....) and we're so excited to hear this! Some of us already fully get it, but watching this video is good for some of our other parts too I feel like and hopefully it will help them come to terms with being part of a bigger whole that we share
We commented on your last video about this subject. Well I didn't. My alter did. We're an OSDD1b system, but we can relate to things being chaotic when we're not all working together. Last week I found it odd to see my alter comment about feeling oppressed by mine and my alter Pete's need to get a degree, and have called us tyrants at times. Pete doesn't handle her comments well because he's younger and often gives into her passive influence when she's craving alcohol. (I'm starting to think she takes in a lot of our system's emotional reaction to stress, and like any normal person wants to just drink it away-- maybe that's where that we're separate but we're whole thing comes in?) Anyway...It's finals week, and we honestly worried she'd throw us off track. All of our exams are now online, and different. I'm not sure what you said in your video last week, I haven't watched it, but something you said made her empathize and work with us this week. Or, it's just true as you said in this video -- we work better together, and we're just being a system. Thank you. :)
Also, (just being funny) should totally have a counter for how many times the word “bowl” is used
I'll be honest, the whole idea of "separate but whole" is.... really comforting to me as a recovering persecutor. It makes me feel more like I'm recovering for myself as a whole, than just for the rest of my system. It's nice to feel.
you’re absolutely right and thank you for saying this. as someone who is new to discovering my own system, we were always super clear about knowing we were part of one functioning person, individuals who need validation but ultimately part of one brain that needs every bit to form a fully functioning whole. and that’s something that people avoid talking about in DID communities and it’s kept us away from a lot of conversations with other systems who maybe have a higher level of dissociation than us. so thank you for bringing this up - you’re incredibly brave with your topic choices as always
I think that was a very clear analogy and definitely gave me a better understanding. Be well and enjoy animal crossing 🖤🧡🤍
I’m sorry but i have to bring this up, how was this posted 8 hours age? Is my device glitching or something?
Palpatine TH-cam is just breaking like usual probably. It’s not just your phone, I see it too.
@@palpatine1715 Nelavai is probably a Patron, as they get access to videos before they go public on TH-cam :)
Hi Daniel. I’m Willow and I am a part of a system. Just wanted to give you a big thumbs up on the metaphor and how you broke it down. I’ve used a plate metaphor to explain it to my kids but definitely like the bowl better. I wish I saw this video when I came out about being DID to my family. Thanks for this video.
I'd like to imagine a system as a bowl made out of clay, they're pieces from a big clay bowl, but they can still work by themselves. Putting all the clay pieces together makes the system, a system.
Hey, Daniel! Always good to see you. While we prefer your orange analogy, bowls are good! For our system it has been a matter of untangling ourselves from that 'whole' in order to find our own unique voices in order to help the whole/core. This has actually led to some surprising results- for example last night Mimi, one of our persecutors, stepped in and took control of one of our littles, who had taken over the front and threw us into an anxiety/trauma flashback loop that took us the better part of an hour to break out of, and about another two hours to stabilize from. If our tween Mimi had not stepped in and helped just then we likely would have ended up in the hospital. So you are correct, all the pieces are part of the whole... but could not help the whole without the separation of being an alter.
great job Mimi! i hope you are all feeling better today. that sounds super exhausting. i know i always feel worn out after fighting out of flashbacks. take care of yourselves today.
@@erinlovescheese We're wiped, but very grateful for her actions. Out of everything we swear it's the body memories that are THE WORST part of it. 😖 Thanks for the support and be well! 😊
@@TheInfinitySystem ugh yeah. i think they're the most intense? hard to ignore for sure. love to you all.
I absolutely adore this metaphor. As host I struggle a lot with doubt issues and just acceptance and honestly looking at it this way is really comforting.
So beautifully worded. As a system member myself, it is very validating to here that others feel that we are our own people (which we do view ourselves as) I am a co-host and do have a mother within the system and it is so comforting to hear your system say this. Thank you Daniel, you did an amazing job explaining and wording this and thank you to your system for educating us. -Eva and Clara
I completely understand.
I've used a clock as a more mechanical analogy. A clock is only a clock when all the gears, cogs, and pieces are together in the right place; only then, will it work cohesively; all parts big and small matter, some can get put together to support eachother better. Strength in unity, Confidence in individuality.
Oh that’s such a good analogy!
@@TheEntropySystem thank you! :)
I kinda thought of it from m&m's puzzle pieces thing and then a question from Twitter:)
Thanks for doing this video, it’s been a struggle for some of us to understand we all need each other and are all pieces of a whole. I think the video explained it very well, keep up the good work. Have a wonderful day/night everyone - Lucy and Adrien | the sandbox system
This helps us ! We always felt that we were a real team that does the work of one person, we can't function if we're not together. This video helped us remember how important cooperation is.
I loved this video! This is a topic that I never really understood and this video cleared it up a ton! Thank you for is video! I loved the bowl metaphors as well!
Yeah, I think this is a pretty great analogy. The movement of "we are separate people" did a lot of harm to me when I...came out of doing everything I could do to deny my experiences and as a result alters hit back at me REALLY HARD later on....and at the time in the online platforms I could find, everyone was like, "They are all different people!" The extreme of complete denial is just as bad as the extreme of trying to really push individuality, and it's an absolute shame that I and some other people I've seen are really timid about admitting how our inner systems work. So thank you so much for this. I'm really grateful that in the past few years, there's been some very level-headed and educationally minded people out there. It's super necessary, not just for education but also to reassure people who come vulnerable and trying to find help and connections some places. Also, thank you for being very clear about how within that singularity there are still some differing views and thoughts and therefore reactions in life coming out of it. I and the strongest people in my system are VERY strong about having a VERY united front - it's even uncomfortable to have begun this sentence by specifying "I and...." - however, there are some HIGHLY differing life views, opinions, and reactions, some of who would get really annoyed with this video, but just don't get put 'out there' because I (and...) keep a close guard on those differing opinions that are agreed to be bizarre to any perspective outside of myself. I guess this is a long way of saying that this analogy is great because it's very balanced and very specific while also being real and educational, and that's greatly appreciated.
Lol did anyone else start thinking of Kamikaze Girls when Momoko’a grandma told her she was a bowl? It’s such a good metaphor even in kamikaze girls where it’s used differently.
Daniel, thank you. A lot of us have been struggling with wanting to be individual and I think it helped us to see the bowl and realize that we can't miss even one piece of our bowl
makes perfect sense! Before we started to cooperate, our system was in 'everyman/woman/child for him/her self mode'. There was a lot of clamour and confusion. With the help of therapy, we have begun to cooperate. still a lot of trauma to be dealt with but slowly, we are building a strong team of collaborative helpers. We have yet to become a 'whole bowl' but getting there.
Nice. Expressing the paradox of "different but the same". Im so grateful to find out what this all means finally.
Thank you so much for making content that’s easy to understand and so informative! Also we just started a yt channel for my system so we can talk about our experiences ❤️
This video really resonated with me. I've been struggling with the individuality thing with my system and this has been really comforting to think about. instead of feeling and acting like I'm a bowl and everyone else is other bowls, this put into perspective the amount that we all are just pieces of the same bowl, and in order to actually do what our function is, we need to work together and uplift each other or else all the pieces will fall apart and become nonfunctional.
Working towards that cohesiveness is something I'm going to have a think about. Thank you :)
I loved all of this. It was all SO important to healing w/ DID. But esp the end part where Daniel mentioned how accepting the "same but different" paradox gives comfort towards changes in the system (fusions/integrations, dormancy, etc). The fact tht all the same stuff still exists n we haven't lost parts of ourself is smth tht brung us a lot of comfort to accept as well. Loved the vid yg!
This is SO GOOD. I'm totally going to ask my therapist to watch this if she turns out to be confused (new therapist). THANK YOU so much for this!!!!
make sure it is one that knows alters are literal people. a dog alter is a real dog, just lacks a dog body.
you don't need your own brain to be have a mind.
as I have gathered from the community.
You have brought so much positivity and truth. Y'all will be sorely missed. I hope the future is bright for you, you've earned it. Sending love, light, and healing. Thank you all for making me feel valued, valid, and loved.
aa i’m not sure how to word this so i do Apologise if i come off clunky or rude!! ,>>
I’ve only recently been taking interest in and learning about D.I.D, what it is, how it works, so forth; And hearing your perspective on how you perceive the system as seperate but one has really helped explain and shed light on a new topic or idea i would never have thought of from what i currently know! I think it’s really important and i do want to thank you for voicing this sort of thing!! D.I.D is so much more complex than what i first thought before taking steps to actually learn about & hearing multiple opinions and different metaphors that can be used to describe such things are incredibly helpful to broadening just how diverse and messy in a sense things can get y’know?
Maybe not, But It is important to listen to a wide range of thoughts and opinions from the community & i really appreciate you explaining things in such a concise and clear manner!
I have always said to people that there are so many things that people do everyday that I just can't. Since finding out we are part of a system things seem easier even though more complicated since we can work together more directly. Not sure if that makes sense.
Thank you! This definitely helps me to better explain how it is systems work in separate alters, but being one cohesive unit. I myself have seen improvement since coming to accept that I function better (and less volatile) as part of the "bowl", instead of expecting myself to hold everything in our "bowl"; using only my piece of it.
We have a broken & reglued (without the awesome gold color in it) tea cup (from Japan, too). I love to use that as an example... "We're not diff cups of the set, we're THIS cup" and ask "now that this is glued together, which part is 'original'" to shatter THAT myth.
{\Pixie/}
I adore that 🥰
I think our host will like this video when he finally gets around to watching it. With denial reering it’s head more than ever recently, we as a whole have done our best to stay connected and stay comfortable. We may struggle but this video definitely brings some solace.
This is such a good explanation. Like, we're separate, but we're one. Like bees in a hive maybe? A system is a unit that works together.
This makes total sense! I had seen some negative comments to do with this topic recently but I wasn't sure how to react as someone without DID. This has really put it into perspective!
The bowl... huh. THIS SYSTEM LOVES IT. I’d say that it’s like fine china with those tiny fractures in the design. Chaos and that stuff created those fractures, but that’s what makes it so beautiful. We can all find beauty in the other cracks.
I prefer this explanation. As an alter struggling right now this couldn't have came at a better time. Sometimes I struggle with feeling very alone as the only male in our system. And today seems to be one of those days. But this, thinking about how I'm not alone and that I'm still important to our "bowl" Really helps. So thank you for being awesome! -Jeremy from The Gecko System
I love the bowl! I use to say my alters were a trivial pursuit wedge. I was also searching for the original piece. As soon as I heard your bowl theory, it made much more sense up there to my system. Thank you all for doing the videos. They teach me so much as I'm just starting trauma and DID therapy. You help so much more. 💗
The Kaleidoscope System
Thank you for still posting. So necessary
Thank you for helping me inderstand a bit more about D.I.D. You explain it amazingly well that which can be complex to understand for those of us without lived experience. Massive respect.
This is something we recently sturggled with. Many of us felt a desite to want to be our own seperate selves, but thankfully now we have all come together and realize that we are right where we need to be, holding the bowl together and working with each other. Thank you for making this video Daniel. It really helped validate and strengthen what we have come to realize.
Excellent job!! Love how you broke it down this way, with the bowl, made it very easy to understand. Thanks Daniel!!💖
Thank you Daniel! We’ve been diagnosed for about 17 months and this subject has been a real struggle for some members of our system and I think you have explained it well... We will definitely be showing this video to other people in our life to help them understand.
This honestly just makes it easier for me to understand how alters are 'shaped' for a lack of better word and how DID works... before I was always slightly confused about how all those alters could exists within one body. iT just didn't make sense before you said that you are all part of the same brain simply with amnesia between you and that these different section have created their own sense of identity. That really made it click so thanks for that
no, you don't need your own brain to be real. but you still need to borrow one and live in it.
As a normie that wants to be as understanding as possible. I am glad you put this out here.
i'm the host of my system, and honestly i really liked that. that's probably the best way I've seen/heard it be explained
-charlie, host of the starry skies system
Thank you for covering this topic! When people say "My alters are all different people, and are not part of a whole" (literally saw this twice on social media yesterday), I get concerned about what System Responsibility looks like in their systems. Because all the parts of my System are part of the same whole, my wife only had to marry us once, but has cultivated different relationships with each of us.
--Noah Et Al
Because of people like you and others that are spreading awareness about this condition I am more open about being a system. With that in answer to your question Daniel, I agree. We can not exist with out the others, and although we might not share the same idea about things, we do work together to achieve the main goals we set for ourselves.
Your metaphor is an excellent illustration for those of us who aren't systems. Thank you, Daniel!
Thank you for this. We've been feeling super displaced both in the world and with each other in the system, and this was a really helpful, reassuring reminder. -Sage
We went from categorizing some pretty drastic behavioral changes in our system as alters and fragments to realizing that they couldn't be categorized that way. And now that we know we all have this thing in common without it being attributable to passive influence or a switch, it's definitely forced us to reconcile with the fact that we really are part of the same mind. I think that would have been almost impossible for me to accept if I didn't learn about the idea if "oneness" in college, because it is a paradox, but you can at least kind of grasp it on a spiritual level. I think you're right, too, that people should learn more about multiplicity for what it is.
I don’t have DID, but this analogy made sense to me.
I can see how that could be comforting, too
you don't need DID to be plural. anyone can will themself into multiplisity. with tulpamancy, being a spirit communicator....
I think this was actually a really good and creative metaphor to use, it made a lot of sense to me
This is so real! Thank you for this, sending to my partner who understands this HEAVILY (theyve seen the switches and get it more than most Ive met) but this may help them get it even more 😊
We don't talk about DID like that 👀🤷🏼♀️
We actually fight a lot against the confusing information of some english speaking channels... unfortunately🙄
So thanks for pointing that out too💙
This is an awesome compression 😎 I really like this 👍 thanks for making the video and sharing it with everyone 🤗
oh my gosh, I just stumbled upon your channel after five years. So glad to see you all doing well
I’ve definitely said before that if I could have my own body I would. But I know that could never happen which is why I imagine lol. I know I’m part of a bigger whole and I wouldn’t be able to function on my own. Honestly the idea was more or less that I sometimes wish the body we use looked like how I look inner world instead of how the host looks. And I do still wish that sometimes tbh
- Danny
You're awesome dude. The bowl analogy was great, and works well. While there may be parts that think they would be better off alone, the reality of it is, that without the rest of the group, an individual part doesn't function as well as they might think. It's a good lesson, both for those who are singlets and those who are multiples. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for this video! Most of my alters are afraid to show how they usually act in life just because of individuals around me that won’t believe the diagnosis unless they see that I’m acting differently than me! DID is just the splitting of consciousness! I’m still me! I just have other parts of me that help me out with life!
This metaphor is perfect, Daniel. We appreciate so much how you've described this. Thank you! 💜
This absolutely made sense- I love the metaphor of the bowl and something I particularly love is that with these bowls it’s traditionally done with the gold like you have and so it has that extra layer of it may have been broken but it’s still beautiful once it comes back together
I always appreciate that your system brings new thoughts about DID to the table. It feels like a lot of talking about DID comes down to just getting the other party to understand basic concepts, but this disorder is so complex that just using quick and easy metaphors comes off as too general. Most of my system doesn't see themselves as living life without me. We were made together. But, there are some alters that have ideas and desires that just don't work with everyone. It's a very interesting conversation and I appreciate you taking the time to make this video to try and help to explain to people that don't have DID how nuanced this disorder is.
I think this was a great analogy. It definitely landed well with me. What I worry is that some alters (particularly hosts who have always been the host) come to the erroneous conclusion that their individual "identity state" is the whole bowl rather than a piece of the bowl, and that other "identity states" are pieces of them rather than pieces of the whole. All of that "parts of you" language around alters can get really misleading when one alter thinks the "you" is them specifically and not all of the alters together. I think it has potential to be really harmful, and I really wish people (especially therapists) were more explicit about host alters also being pieces of the whole.
Excellent bowl metaphor. Also I spotted your Signs & Symbols Sourcebook!!! ☺️ I use mine all the time for bibliomancy.
Daniel I love how much you are committing to this metaphor 😂 it’s amazing
our host has a crush on daniel lmao
Interesting metaphor that can be used to explain DID to people who just don’t get it. Funny, years ago before I was diagnosed I had a decorative plate that fell from the wall. Rather than throw it out I glued it back together and hung it back up. It took on a new meaning of still being beautiful even if it had ‘fractured’. It was my way of showing you can put Humpty Dumpty back together again.
This might be the most important video you have ever made and you are the person who helped me have the realization that my lack of sense of self is because I have multiple.
My partner has DID and has used this exact analogy and now I have to go rewatch it with them :)
I wish I could be more articulate but its early :p
Thank you Daniel, very lovely comparison, Phooka here, from TheMany, feeling it mate !
The explanation is exactly why we describe ourselves as facets of a single gem. Points of a single star. Something I (the protector) encourage in the background constantly, especially by messing with dreams, to avoid issues of attempting to reject the system. Without that active choice to describe things that way, my active efforts to create imagery of parts of one whole, we would not be functional. At the same time, I need to be careful not to be overt about that message, because the host can only handle our parents keeping old pictures prominently on the wall by refusing to be the previous host who lived those faces, who had their identity. Another's entire role is ensuring the system retains dignity and pride. Which requires she have incredible pride in her independence, in standing on her own. Essentially, most of our system needs to be able to feel like we can go our own way, to be comfortable cooperating. While contradicting themselves by feeling like parts of a whole, to see a reason to cooperate.
I know for my system, We have been really struggling with a triggered fusion since last October. Thank you for this video. It helped to know the missing alter is still a part of the system even though they have fused into other alters.
Thank you for this. We have had a fusion, and there was a sense of some loss, but reframing that to think we are still the same bowl, just one less crack, makes it not feel like such a loss.
Love love love this video. Makes SO much sense! I'm a visual learner so the metaphor really helped. 🎉
Thank you. Really good illustration. I always learn something from your videos. Bless you!
great seeing you again, Daniel! and your analogies made total sense!
Love the bowl metaphor. Also thank you for validating the fact that not all systems work great together right away. Our system is getting better it was a challenge at first. And still is sometimes honesty.
Wow, you really knocked it out of the park with this vid. Amazing job at explaining, Daniel!! I thought you were both thorough and entertaining. 😊. Thank you all for the great work that you do! 🤍🧡🖤
I very much feel the same way and thought I was the only one since channels like DissociaDID I feel treat their alters as whole individuals
Super valuable discussion, Daniel. I think this was a really important video to make.
so extremely validating!!!!!! thank you for this. we relate. also honestly what a powerful message to put out into the world right now... it's interesting to think about what other kinds of "bowls" that might exist in the world too (the human species, for example, or the earth, the universe, etc.)
I’m learning and trying to understand how to best function and validate my system. I just wanted to say thank you so much for your videos it has made my chaos make more sense.
Yes! I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
We managed to watch most of this video co-con and did an exercise where we held hands to make a circle in the head as we listened to the bowl analogy, and it was an amazing moment of shared learning. Thank you so much for explaining it so well Daniel, and for tackling the topic in general.
It also really helps us process a recent fusion we've been struggling with.
It’s always a wonderfully informative and introspective video when Daniel breaks out the metaphors. You do such an incredible job, Daniel!!