What If I'm Gay? (1987)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ส.ค. 2014
- It's 1987 and a high school soccer player is 'found out' by his best friends. He has been dating, and playing the straight part the best way he knows how, but must finally come to terms with his sexuality. A good friend and a high school counselor provide support and positive guidance.
If you are a teen with questions or seeking help, visit thetrevorproject.org
I love how they subverted the stereotype. The first 10 minutes try to sell you the idea that the guy who wears certain clothes, listens to certain music (Jazz) & has no girlfriend is gay. But just like in real life, you don't know that unless they come out.
That was smart.
I got caught.
i read this comment at the start and it still caught me off guard
Why are they friends with this loser?
Well its true
Who would have known?It's just sad that sometimes the One you thought was your best friend turns out to be the opposite.
This TV film was made by a company called "Highgate pictures" . The owner and founder of the company was a gentleman named William Deneen. Bill had made many movies and reinvented the educational film during the 1960's. "Google him" you see . He came out as a gay man while in his mid forties. "What if I'm gay" was one of Bill's last projects and the he was most proud of. He sold his company in the early 1990's shortly after this film was completed .
He was also my husband...we were together 19 years . He died over three years ago.
I want to thank the person who posted "What if I'm gay" it meant a lot of Bill and to the young people who struggled and still struggling with thier sexuality.
matt matthews thank you for sharing your story. it's so important to me as a young person to see older gay people out there, especially like your husband who have created gay media that means a lot to younger people who are struggling
matt matthews lv u your hubby thank u n this priceless treasure was rebroadcast in 1989@d at 4pm on CBS TV hwood USA n say that your hubby just left yesterday it helps cause Mr Raul velasco just said time n distance don't matter true you can turn a second into a zillion years, fold space, etc.
@TheHasheart Thank you for what you said, but pleasee don't use the word god, i'm gay and atheiste and i don't bore anybody with my convictions (atheist !) And when you said "god" you mention also this book "holy bible" ( astory for poor illiterate shepherds of 3 or 4000 years ago (a magical world that does not resist!)
Patrick VAN HECKE fine sorry it s just that I am jesuskhriszt
@matt matthews You may to be proud for your husband and I'm sorry for his dead. It was a wondrfull movie ! With love, Patrick
My son is Gay and i already knew before he finally told me and his dad we hugged him and told him no matter what we would always love him it was a very liberating and emotional moment i will never forget its always better to be who you are.
You are an amazing mother! You must be.
That's a good story but I somehow read it as it was written by a man and was just wondering why would their son be worried about coming out if he already has two dads? Heh.
I wish I could give you a big hug for being so smart and loving. xx
Absolutely
My parents never hugged me. My mother emotionally blackmailed me using the Bible.
The writer purposely made you wonder at first which one was the gay one,throwing alan in so that people would assume he was the one because he was a late bloomer or a bit different.A great way to make a point early on in the movie and overall really a masterpiece for the time.This movie did everything right,and deserves top recognition I think.
Agreed! That line; you might wanna see a psychiatrist, was a bit off putting until he revealed it was for his self-esteem issues.
The writers understand and were ahead of their time
👋😱🗣️🧏🤷😅📝🙏
It's a highly subtle, thoughtful script containing lots of such ambiguity. Both Alan and Kirk show clear gay aspects, and Todd being the son of a one time late bloomer
This kid is exactly the way I was in high school. I was a big jock, girls swooning over me, but the whole time I wanted to be with a couple guys on my football team. It wasn’t easy, but I got through it. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for nine years and I’ve never been so happy!
Back in high school, I would never have imagined any of the jocks were gay, especially not the huge football guys. A big, macho, built like a tank, guy, gay? I had no idea it was possible. (Largely because of the attitude of most of them too.) Oh, I knew being a jock didn't mean stupid or mean, but I'd seen them threaten other boys rumored to be gay, including me or friends. Later on, I'd be surprised to hear from guys who'd been high school jocks elsewhere, who were gay. Mind-boggling, but good to know there were some good guys too. And yes, at my school, there were jocks who were good guys, emotionally and intellectually mature, good students and leaders. It's just that too many of them, where I was, only seemed focused on sports, hyper-masculine, and not friendly to other guys, prone to bully. I wonder if those guys realized how they were perceived. (And yes, more than one boy was seriously threatened, bullied, including a freshman and a sophomore who transferred to other schools.) I hope the jocks outgrew their homophobia and bullying tendencies, because the good jocks were worth knowing and likely had good futures.
And have you ever had a thing with another football guy?
@@benw9949 those guys who harassed other guys are usually gay deep inside. I know, been there
@@viniciusfelix8214 I did. But I promised not to ever say anything to anyone!
@@viniciusfelix8214 I never said that.
Alan was ahead of his time, good man
My Grandmother was born in 1910 Her generation referred to us as Majestics ,it wasn't a put down . Alot of the anti-gay culture in the US began After WW2 After the Catholic Church Added Anti-Homosexual "Scriptures " to New Testament because the Nazis talked them into it . Until 1946 there weren't any Anti-gay things in the Christian Bible ,,That was all Old Testament crap . OT is Pre-Christ = Not Christian and irrelevant except for historical value .
He was!
Christ, I've been pestered with that "why are you trying so hard to be different" line. That sure hits home. There's no "trying"
I know exactly what you mean.
Everyone needs a councillor like mr powl and a friend like Alan.
Yes!
ALAN IS A REAL FRIENDS.
Alan grew up and then became the Jewboo of one-dimesional wasp, Charlotte York in Sex And The City.
The oboe is doing the most in this soundtrack
FACTS
HAHA, I was thinking that!
The oboe is a poignant and spiritual instrument. I feel it is vulnerable and beautiful like a human being. It's used in music and soundtracks to stir emotions, so YES, oboe is king here.
Really ? It sounds so peaceful to me lol
As depressing and old fashioned as this movie now seems, the fact this movie was even made was actually a step forward and was a sign of progress back then. It was a very difficult time. I was 19 in 1987.
Spot on! I was 15 and it was a relief to FINALLY see something like this on TV, yet heartbreaking at the end because it still solidified the idea of just being able to be tolerated vs complete acceptance which includes immutable friendship and love.
@@darius3000I think he was accepted, by Allen, definitely. Even the father seemed sympathetic enough. The ending with Kirk was saddening because you could tell Todd was trying to both self-advocate and reach out to reassure his friend. He was being a man in the truest sense, but unfortunately Kirk's anger, pain, and I would say self-loathing were too much to meet Todd halfway.
I turned 19 in 1987 as well. I was in college and watched very little TV at that time, so I missed this. I'm surprised that I still haven't heard of it until now. It really is surprisingly well done for the time in terms of how the subject is handled.
It’s not old fashion as much as fabulous like the 80s and yes sa d and bittersweet like the 80s too
I was 11 in '87. I tried to come out as bi in '88, but was quickly shoved back in the closet. Honestly this movie was VERY VERY progressive for the time. At my school, Kirk would have beaten Todd to a pulp before he could even finish what he was trying to say at the end. As soon as he brought up how they experimented as kids, Kirk would have flown into a blind rage. That's how the kids were where I was from, anyway. And no counselor would touch this subject with a 10 foot pole, nevermind be so concerned and supportive. And the parents would NEVER have been understanding. This movie was like a supportive dream that was too good to be true to me. I'm so glad that times have changed so much, for the most part.
My parents knew I was gay and accepted me without even having to say anything. My father said to me when I was around 16, as long as you're happy and whoever you're seeing treats you with respect he didn't care. Both my parents told me the same thing at different times ( be honest about who you are and never be ashamed of who you are ). In high school 10th grade an upper classmate called me a fa**ot, my older sister heard him say that to me and punched dead center in his face ( I think she chipped one of his teeth ) she had to stay after school for one week for an hour sitting there doing nothing. The kid who called me that got susppended for two weeks. If you're gay or lesbian don't be ashamed of who you are walk with your head held high and just be the best person you can be .. also treat others the way you want to be treated.
Respect to your sister.
you had good parents
I would have been disappointed
Am ❤ Top
@@bobbyg433 As a parent?
I am 65 now. I came out to my best (girl) friend in school when I was 17. She was very supportive. I was completely on my own except for her, it was hell! Now i am celebrating my 37th year with my wonderful partner. Very moving film.
What a beautiful friend. Congratulations to the both of you!! 🎉🎉
My coming out was a very tough time. I had just graduated high school and was working part time and attending a local university. I had met an older guy in the cafeteria. After a few months the only reason I wanted to go to school, was to see him. We started talking more seriously, and what I’d hoped was true. He started taking me to my first gay clubs. It was an exciting time........... except for AIDS. I told a couple very close friends, they were gay as well, and a couple. The following year, things were going well, I was having fun meeting new people, going new places. Then the $hit hit the fan. My folks asked what they expected. I was given 30 minutes to pack what I wanted, leave my keys on the table, and get out. I remember all the whispers as I walked up the sidewalk to McDonalds to used the phone. I called my boyfriend and he came racing to the restaurant to pick me up. It was a rough several years. My boyfriend wasn’t interested in a long time, long term thing. So, I took my time and moved. The next live in situation was worse, roommates doing drugs all night. I wasn’t happy. I called him telling what was going on and he came to get me. He still wasn’t happy, and I knew it. I found out he hadn’t been paying the rent on our house even though I was paying him. I moved back to my folks. I saw different guys, nothing clicked. Then the following year, my first b.f. called wishing me a happy birthday. We started dating, AGAIN. he had started a new job, but said he wasn’t feeling right and had to wait for his health insurance to start. One night I tried calling, no answer. I called more, different times. I even stopped by his house. It was always dark and his car was gone. I didn’t know what to think.then a month later his brother called. He said his brother had been very sick and didn’t want me seeing him the way he had gotten. Leukemia. He was gone and I’d never see him again. I dated other men who were all jerks. Started seeing a therapist. I rarely went out. Sometimes after a session I go to a mall and look around. One night I found myself at Tiffany’s. I heard a nice voice behind me ask “see anything you like?”. I turned around to face a taller, dark hair and eyes, moustache and stubble. He held his hand out. “Hi I’m Matt.”. A little small talk, then we went off to sit in a lounge at the bar. I had fun. The following Monday I was at my folks for family dinner. The phone rang and it was Matt asking if I’d like to join him for dinner......... anywhere I’d like to go. I told I was sorry but I was having dinner with my folks and asked for a rain check. He sounded disappointed but understood. My mom asked who called, when I told her she picked up the phone and said call back, you can have dinner with us anytime. We started dating. After 3 years we moved in together. After 10 years my folks took us on a cruise. They knew how happy Matt made me. All of our folks are gone now. This year will be 32 for us. I’m so happy I went into Tiffany’s that night.
Your story really shook me up. Oddly, I too am happy that you went to Tiffany's that night. Hold that memory within your mind, within your heart, always. Keep that night alive for the rest of your life. In another time and place perhaps you and Matt will revisit it.
Beautiful short story, thanks for sharing!
what a nice story. thank you.
Maybe your parents were initially upset because you were too young to be dating someone older than you?
Beautiful story, I love how your parents finally turned it all around. Thank you for sharing :)
I mostly can't tell the difference between Todd and Kirk, it's like they're twins
Wow. I was 27 when this came out. I knew I was gay more than 10 years before. I am 60 now believing that I wasted the best years of my life. I am working on it.
Get out there and do it Dave! It's NOT too late. Experience is waiting for you!!! 😃
I’m with ya man. I ended up married with 3 kids by 1987. Ended badly and came out at 45. I never had the chance to date much or have a long term boyfriend
@A G Thanks! 😊
@@michaelkline884 anyone knew you gay before or even doubted that you gay?
@@michaelkline884 look at the bright side gay marriage is legal.
it’s no big deal anymore gay people are cool.
This was a great film. I am 21 years old, male, and questioning my own sexuality. So it was great to see this.
You don't have to go with the church/temple ect ..
You don't even have to listen to people / family or anyone empower on that matter!
just go with what is your heart telling you you ,
just love who you love
and it got to be okay with God because God Made You ,
whoever your God might be
You'll be okay. It's hard to say this, but men will treat you better.
Scott Ferguson really ? Men ?
Etienne Edward thank you
Azalea Williams thank you
I was 17 when this movie was made - it would have helped enormously if I had seen it back then. Although quite dated, it still has a great message for young gay kids.
Little Kiwi
Same here, except I would have been 16 y/o then.....and it was a really tough time.
Did anyone else think that Alan was the gay one?
Yes. Isn't he the one who said "I'm waiting to date Marilyn Monroe." Gay!
Jae Mery I did. Allen was cute.
Omg Yesss. He look like my dam ex... 😕.. For a moment i thought it was him.
No joke..
Yes, I thought it was him, too, until he met his girl. Allen throwing the magazine at Todd and Kirk should have clued me in that he wasn't.
Alan was coded to be the gay one
Am I the only person who thought that Alan was going to be the gay one??
Rlessays That's what's clever about this--it keeps upending your expectations about cliches. (First time I saw this, I was sure Alan and his gf would break the door down and find Todd OD'd.) The last 5 minutes are kind of pedantic, but the rest of this still holds up really well.
I did too! I think they wanted to show us that anyone can be gay. Even the hunky jock.
I thought so too. haha
Nope, I remember watching this on CBS back in' '87 and I thought the same thing. I think the show did that on purpose to explore and dispel stereotypes... pretty clever on their part, taught me alot.
Rlessays I did too lol
As a 12 year old when i first saw this, I felt really bad for him. All these years later I still feel bad for the people who feel they have to hide who they really are. I’m happy for the lgbt community that things have come a long way after all they’ve fought for. Everyone deserves to be who they are. Everyone deserves that very basic happiness.
Thanks ❤
@@winec00lerI thought I was the only one still commenting on this video that was uploaded ages ago...lol
Self-acceptance can be a long journey,
You have a very kind heart. 🙂
I thought this was going to be terrible but it's so good! There is some really poignant dialogue and deft performances. I'm so glad this existed in 1987 as a beacon of hope for anybody that felt 'other'.
Blast from the past, I was ten when this came on the television. I was home sick from school that week and I had never seen anything like it. I had seen gay people but they were much older and I didn't really get it. This solidified what I already knew, I was gay and other people were like me. I was far off from being old enough to really come to terms with it but a few years later, 1992, I came out, sophomore year of highschool. Crazy crazy memories.
I was also 10 when this came on. I'd just gotten home from school and I was bored. Flipping through the channels this caught my attention. Who knew that 6 years later I'd finally realise and admit to myself that I am gay!!
@@kevinscott1547 and Jason Shores, that's crazy, maybe you two are around the same age? Which also means that you saw this on TV in 1986ish then 6years later 1992 you were 16yo. Yup at 16 your hormones are raging and begin to cement your believes or assumptions about our sexual identity. I was 10yo in 92 but I had always known I liked boys but was too chicken shit to admit it out loud. It sure was harder back then, than it is now.
I can remember those days. I'm totally getting the gay thing, but it's kind of cool when it has mystery.
Beautiful
Thanks for sharing this!
This was so ahead of its time I can hardly believe it exists. It was made before I was born, but I think if I’d seen it as a teen it would have helped me out a lot. They addressed so much: stereotypes, bullying, misinformation regarding HIV, experimenting, and the sad fact that some people just won’t accept you even after you accept yourself. About the only thing missing is some info about the sexuality spectrum, but you can’t blame them for not knowing everything. It’s a really good special.
36:03 it makes me cry. It's so special that Todd has someone who loves him unconditionally.
Had no Idea they made a film like this way back then, it would have been an amazing thing to know I was not alone having the same feelings. I was 16 in 1987 and struggling to accept my sexuality and continued to carry the burden for another 4 years because I was so afraid anyone would find out; finally did at 20 gave my self a choice either killed my self or come out, I'm glad I decided the ladder just telling someone I was gay was enough for me to lift that weight I had been carrying since I was 14 and realized that 1st I should have done it a lot sooner and 2nd there was no reason to be afraid.
The story looks like of many young men and young women all over the world who have at a time of their lives struggle or face to their own nature as a human being. Nowadays societies are involved with homosexuality rights.
Straight men are the enemies of society
Yeah... 1987 was the outside edge of society's changing tolerance of the gay lifestyle. I was 17.
@@idziak4ever Gay lifestyle? Are you trolling? In the same way straight lifestyle is not a thing. Ridiculous narrative used by religious zealots assert to others like them that gays are not born but made by the individual's choices or some kind of abuse by either their father or mother in order to not contradict their religious book
You’re my dads age. I was born in 97
An excellent coming out film, especially for one made in 1987. Once we find out who is gay and witness the inevitable backlash from the best friend, it's encouraging to see who deal with it sympathetically, the excellent advice from a true friend and later from a counselor. Definitely worth watching and still as relevant today.
As the case with autistcs it was becoming more accepting in the late 80s.
Todd totally didn’t throw that mag out
This is as relevant today as it was then. WOW!
Reminds me of just how relevant as the song “One Tin Soldier”. Breaks my heart when I hear that song and it came out way before me.
11:30 "It has a good weightlifting article..." - - LoL
Absolutely beautiful film. I loved watching Todd develop into someone who was much more accepting of himself. Thank goodness this world has been on a slow but steady path toward acceptance of people like us since the 80s.
I remember when this special was on television. I was 16-17. I saw the advertisements and I secretly wanted to watch it. Somehow I missed everything but the last 5 minutes. So it’s good to see it on TH-cam after 30 years. Some of the acting at the beginning is laughable but the story is affecting and well done. A lot to think about.
When he said "I'm not gay" to his friend like that
Oh it just hit me right in the feels
The advice to come out and let his parents help him through that is not necessarily good advice. Some parents will "help" by packing their kid off to some terrible school or reeducation camp.
This film...it holds up well even 32 years later
35 now O:o
The plot twist was solid
Love the twist. Being a gay man myself, it was great seeing a movie in the 80s show that things aren't as they seem. Also the way they touched on the AIDS pandemic of the era was very elegant and smart move. Great to see a gay themed movie that didn't end in tragedy but on a happy note! Thank you director & writer!!
Wtf?! Lol. This is waaay ahead of its time I feel like. Yeah I know Will and Grace came out in 99 or whatever but I still feel like this is way ahead of its time
I treasure what my mom said a few years after I came out
“I would March in Gay Pride but I have arthritis!”
Give her a BIG hug from me. She deserves it! 🙂
I am gay and three guys I went to high school with in the 1970s committed suicide. People like to say things have changed, but it hasn't... the hate is just hidden now.
Sadly you’re correct. I graduated high school in 1973. The hate just comes in different ways Facebook, Twitter etc
Of course there will always be people who can’t/will not accept it! That’s just how it goes unfortunately. It’s not easy for everyone but I tell myself I’m not living for them. I’m living for me, and I’m exactly what God made me to be. When I came out to my mom, she found it hard to believe that I could be attracted to both guys and girls, and for a long time I didn’t know how to act on those feelings. Funny thing is, I remember getting bullied for not being fully gay by my own community, so it’s a toss up in whatever situation tbh!
That happened to me as well...
Never mind the belief that bisexuals will cheat on a whim. I never had, but anyone L,G,B,T,Q,S, etc, might. It's bizarre how people automatically assume "bi" means "cannot commit or communicate"...
I love how supportive Allen is, coming from a someone who is into the opposite sex, I would love to have someone who is that present and respectful of my decisions, and just overall doesn’t care what other people think of him or her hanging out around me🖤
I stumbled upon this. Was not going to watch it..I WATCHED IT...AND CRIED !!!! This should be required watching for alot of people. Very well done. I was just out of high school in 1987. I relate to alot of this. This really hit home and brought back alot of memories.
-Kirk.. ( and for real, yes, my name is ...Kirk..)
Totally agree. I can relate and was just out of high school myself.
I watched for the frst time and I cried too...I could see someone like me in this movie for the first time.
@@antonportuscale7765 Wish a lot of us could have had a friend like, "Al".
Well if I was Allan I don't think I would have reacted that way if I saw that magazine at a friend's house. I think I would have just put it back in the desk and talked to Todd in private "Hey Todd, you are a great friend, listen I saw that magazine in your desk, did not want to embarrass you. I am your friend no matter what and just let me know if you ever want to talk!"
@WinGate Mose No shit
Even though it was the 80's, it was still very brave of all of the actors to take part in making this film. Ed Marinaro being part of it was especially rare. A known macho actor playing a supportive character in a gay film would have been major back then and I applaud him for adding his support. I wish I had seen it back then when I was a teen/20 something.
I searched for this afterschool special for years. I'm thrilled to finally come across it again. I was a freshman in high school in Georgia when it came on tv. I'd only just started to realize that I was gay and my emerging sexuality made me feel increasingly alienated from the friends and people I'd grown up with to that point. There was nothing like this on tv at the time that was an entire show, let alone one aimed at kids, that was about gays and even had the word 'gay' in the title. Hell, you just didn't find any gay characters at all at that time, not specifically out as gay anyway. It provided a lifeline to me when I saw it. And the fact that a big well-known actor at the time like Ed Marinaro starred in it very much legitimized it for me as well. I'll always be thankful that he took the chance on doing such a project, risking his career during that era when anything gay-associated had such a negative stigma attached to it. Thank you so much for posting this video and allowing me to relive this crucial film from my youth.
Might've had a harder time finding it because it's actually a "CBS Schoolbreak Special"...
At first I had the impression Allen was going to be the gay one, but I guess with him being "different" from other kids could've been anyone's thought. Especially since he didn't care much for dating, but in the scene where he was listening to jazz music in the car and Todd asked him why he "was trying so hard to be different", that changed everything and lead me to believe he was actually the one who was closeted because it seemed to me like he was a bit envious of the fact Allen didn't care what others thought by getting annoyed and making a bigger deal out of it than he should've. Despite the fact he had a girlfriend and friends by his side, he was bothered by something. I think it's possible that Kirk was also in the closet. I don't necessarily think he cut Todd off for being gay, but it was more than likely something personal. Perhaps he felt an attraction to Todd, wanting to keep that to himself and probably was just as afraid of being found out as Todd was with the possibility that Todd would figure it out and something more could've eventually happened between in a time when being gay was misunderstood and viewed as unacceptable. It's never okay for anyone to out someone. Especially if two people have been friends for years. Both were afraid of being labeled as "gay" or a "faggot" and knew gay kids dealt with a lot of shit and bullying. They grew up in the same town and went to the same school, so I think Kirk might've outed Todd just to see how he got treated by their peers whether they would accept him or not. In the end, the only difference was Todd learned how to accept the fact he was attracted to other guys. He kept up with his confrontation to Kirk even though all Kirk wanted to do was keep away. Eventually he stopped and listened to what he had to say and had no words against his. The friendship only seemed to come to an end because Kirk made it awkward and came to the realization that it was wrong to betray Todd the way he did. I am a gay man and I was a massive homophobe when I was younger even though I knew I couldn't stop these attractions nor did I want anyone to find out, so this is just what I think could've happened in a scenario of a movie like this. I've developed romantic feelings for 3 out of 10 guys who I was supposed to view as a "brother" over the years. Shit happens and don't always go as you want them to. Anyone could be gay/bi. Probably more people than we think, but not everyone is willing to accept it or be open about it.
Can I get tl:dr
NothingWild Alan was coded to be the gay one
NothingWild I pretty much thought the same thing. There's no reason to make a big thing about something if it doesn't involve you.
@@JunKurosu I don't think many people really care about the fact you're too lazy to read lol
Being gay is NOT a lifestyle.
This is so good, amazing to show how towards the end of the 80s things were starting to change ever so slightly; now look where we are.
Yes, I think these days they throw you a parade when you come out
Lily Gartside we are more proud than ever
My name is Todd. It's on my birth certificate. I am 65 years-old, gay and this is the first time I ever saw this story. With that connection, it's beautiful, truthful, hard and healing. I only wish at the end Todd could have found someone like him like I did. ❤
So many broken families and divorces from society's forced ideals, and years and decades of unhappiness, deep secrets, and/or just tolerating circumstances
I know how hard it is to accept, but when it happens it's magical!
the bad part is the liking one of your
straight friends.it’s the most ❤️❤️
breaking thing in the world.
What an amazing little film. Very nicely done if only we all had a friend like Alan!
This is a beautiful film. I was watching bits and pieces of it this morning. It brings back the angst, anxiety and fear I felt in high school, and the bullying and horrible way I was treated. It's handled here, from what I saw, with care, sensitivity, and realism. Well done.
That was good. I'm still depressed but it was good. Life isn't an after school special.
lol ain't that the truth..........it wasn't easy in high school but I sure as hell had fun in junior high... ;)
Well done. It gives the perspective of all involved in this situation. Including the girl dating the homosexual and the “late bloomer” the one who’s always questioned. Even if it’s not about sexuality a lesson can be learned about facing your insecurities whatever they are and learning how to be yourself and a better friend. Thank you algorithm for another gem!
Most of the exterior shots were filmed at my home in Montclair, NJ. The indoor shots were filmed at another house down the street because the director thought our house was too fancy. They did this really fast and I was an extra in one scene but it was cut out. Here we are - all these years later - and I am the movie writer/producer and all of these guys have been submitted at one time or another for projects I worked on. They are all swell guys -- especially Evan Handler (Allen) - he is very talented. I remember a lot about this.
I got disowned by my parents who also employed me. . .and so I also lost my job. Lost all my friends from Jehovah's Witnesses and had to start over. To this day I'm atheist, gay, and happy
What a great movie. I’m 43 and my parents never accepted my homosexuality. I’m glad movies were being shown and others got accepted.
I'm sorry about that. 😢
Sadly some places (middleschools and highschools) are still this way.
We watched this in high school health class back in '98 and I remember it so well! Thanks for sharing.
Excellent Afterschool special. TV networks should really think about making these again instead of endless pop up pundits, dumb afternoon talk shows and 24 hr news shows. Even tho a lot of afterschool specials may not have had all the answers, they tried to get as much info they were allowed by the networks to, out there for youth. At least they got conversations started and made youth and parents think more about the social issues in contemporary society.
I recognize two of these guys from 'Sex and the City'. Charlotte's second hubby (Evan Chandler) and the alcoholic Carrie dated who fell in love too quickly and stripped outside in the street.
ScarlettMiller omg I was trying to figure where I knew him!
The hair threw me off!!! Wow
Yeah, Evan Handler was on Californication. I heard the voice and was thinking that was exactly him.
I only came out to my family after almost dying from a skydiving accident. I was shocked at how relaxed everyone was about it.
What year was it if you don't mind me asking
It's hard to remember when a whole pizza cost only $7.50! Ah, for the good old days.
Places near us you can get a $10 pizza.
Little Caesar’s?? Of course, I wouldn’t consider that pizza lol
this short had a lot of great ways of stating the obvious. And had a profound reality to actual life and feelings. I enjoyed this film and Thank you for posting it. Many can learn from the story.
What if I'm gay what a great movie. Didn't know things were that rough back then in 87 I came out in 82 and had no problem!!!!
Donald Storm omg
Were u in CA?
You're lucky. Where was that??
This is 3 years before Beverly Hills 90210 premiered and STILL Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea Zuckerberg) looks more like a teacher than a high school student.
Richard Joseph Paul was wonderful in this role. It was great to see 'Andrea' from Beverly Hills 90210, she look so young.
It’s funny how a film made in 1987 has helped me understand myself more than most modern films about the same topic, so whoever made this, thank you, sincerely: a random 14 year old who is confused about their sexuality
how did it work out.never be afraid.
@@johndean4727 I’m still a bit confused to be honest, but I’ve learned not to let it define me and that I’m more than whatever labels other people think I should have
Very enlightened for 1987.
The late 80s was when you started to see more of a transition on TV and in movies, though it wasn't really until the late '90s that you started to see a lot of gay coming of age stories like "Get Real," "Beautiful Thing" and "Come Undone." It wasn't until 1991's "L.A. Law" that a lesbian kiss was shown on TV, and not until 2000 that two guys were shown kissing on "Dawson's Creek" (though some say the first was actually 1998 episode of "That '70s Show" with guest Joseph Gordon-Levitt. However, only one of the characters in the scene was gay.)
This short film is worth the time to watch. Thanks for sharing it!
PS "Andrea", from Beverly Hills 90210 is in this
Being a film from 1987, this aged suprisingly well!
The message in 1987 was clear: how can you expect to be accepted by people if you don't accept yourself ? Talk to you parents first. Very good 34 years ago till now ! JAL - Rio de Janeiro - Brazil
I went through something similar. It was hell. In some ways, I never recovered emotionally. I wish I had had a good school counselor at the time.
I'm an ordained non denominational minister.Unfortunately, the sad truth is that for some, parents stop loving their kids once they know that their kids are gay and some lose their friends. In my opinion these so called parents and so called friends don't deserve to have them as their children and their friends.
A lot of those kids still end up on the streets, homeless. Their parents are criminals.
I often think if they don't like the fact their kids are gay, fine, but why reject them? There are probably plenty who wouldn't no matter what.
God bless you Rev Hasheart you express the truth of the Holy Bible through your inspirational attitude.
Every day there are parents that reject their gay child. Some parents will go as far as throwing their child out of their home with only the clothes on their back and with nowhere to go. It's unfortunate, but it's true. It's difficult to conclude why parents would do that because the reasons are various, but the one single underlying connection among all the cases observed was a strong association with some flavor of organized religion. We need to determine whether religion causes people to behave so maliciously towards others, or do malicious people become religious. Either way, there is something about religion that is attractive to people who could conceive a child and then conceive to toss them away like yesterday's trash.
When are parents going to realize it's NOT about them....It's about their children being happy and living productive lives...Sadly so many parents are worried about what their friends might say or think, what their fellow church members might say or think. Your CHILD is your CHILD forsaking all others...
Wow. What a great movie! Times have changed but the principles remain the same. They ought to show this much, much more often!
Dude this was amazing!
Whoever made this film is amazing
amazingly amazing ?
@@plutoplatters Redundantly redundant
How difficulty it was in my time to accept the way I was. I suffered so much and didn't have anyone to turn to. Missed the best things in my life hiding my feeling and terrified people would find out my real me. Today I still see intolerant people but now I at least accept who I am and f... the society and its rules.
We all feel that way
Words fail to present Hell as it has been. Deaths, insanity, beatings, ostracizing from others and family, afraid to enter conversations, afraid to be near other even family, Being in a world were the T.V., Radio, papers, Books, Movies and those around you were about Love the one thing you couldn't have because one was kill and one driven insane, and all other hiding. What a existence far short of a life but the first Hell.
1987? Holy shit I was born that year and I totally remember watching this movie on tv when I was like 8 and it was about the same time I started to slowly understand “what” I was, even as a kid.
I thought Allen was supposed to be the gay one, they usually portray gays as short and weak 😒
@kj Wow I was born in 2004 and I still haven’t been close to accepting myself or even getting a relationship at 17 so I couldn’t imagine being born in the 1970s and living this life !!
The AIDS thing was very frightening; plus the struggle for self-acceptance was very toxic…
Deborah can't come to the phone right now lol
How did I overlook this movie? Tough times never really go away; they just change shape.
Well put 💕
Great film. I wasn’t going to watch it at first because of the title being so obvious. But I’m glad I did. I loved the writing and the way the writer told the story. He made us think in the beginning the gay guy was obvious but then the twist came and it was one you didn’t expect. The writing was so good that it made us judge someone just because they were different from what we think is normal. This is a great learning lesson for many people.
I liked Nancy - she seemed down to earth! "No reason it can't be dignified and fulfilling" - that was back then. Now for a lot of people it's "you're life is kinda normal."
Wow, the ending is so wholesome, for an eighties short film it is very progressive, loved it! ❤
Allen is a good guy and a good friend.
A wonderful film about a very difficult era to discover one's homosexuality. The dialogue was precise and very expertly written - even for that time. How different we are now. From all I can see in the media, being "gay" is the "in" thing to be. People seem to dismiss the penetrating personal difficulties one still suffers, even in 2021. Fortunately, today's climate does make it a more positive experience to admit your sexuality, whatever it may be. Beautifully done!
I was happy to find this on TH-cam. Like being united with an old friend. I love the manner in which Bill's film plays against stereotype. BTW, I am a teacher who came of age in the late 1960s, early 1970s, and there was NOTHING in the popular culture about the subject of gay. One had to really dig for any information. This movie is a prized cultural artifact. In the classroom, educational films largely fell short, and BILL filled the gap.
What's "gay" is that the super macho hetero dude cares so much who his "brother" is attracted to. It's not like the guy is going around being flamboyant or anything...he's still the same person. The straight dude drew alllll the attention to the situation by yelling about it like a megaphone. Think he must be closeted himself.
MsNooneinparticular He most likely was. The reason why he shouted it from the rooftops was because he thought it would make people think he wasn’t gay when he obviously had some types of feelings for men.
Yea, that's why I disliked the gay guy telling him that he didn't have to worry because he is straight. I mean if we learned anything from this movie, it is that unexpected people could be gay and that it is okay to be different. We don't know what it is like to live in someone else's head. So him saying that really derailed the movie right at the end. For all we know they both enjoyed those experiments. For all we know - I believe Tod was the homophobe's name....he could even be bisexual. It was weird how the guy everyone assumed was straight would come right out and place that same label on someone else. I think a better ending would be to have the gay guy say "Hey Todd, nothing has to change for us. I am not trying to come on to you or change you or even upset you and I am sorry if I have given you any conflicting thoughts. But, I had no intention of doing anything to you or being anything to you other than a good friend. I know both of us have had a hard time with this....and I would like for you to accept me as a Todd. The same friend I was before" and then Todd would say "I can do that" and give him a buddy hug and the gang just all go out for burgers. That's how I would rewrite it.
@@charlottedeacon6031
@M Johnson well you get what i mean
Exactly!
I don’t know about re-writing this scene. His reaction, while projecting, was honestly the way I believe that a character of that time and place would’ve told his friend.
Good film. Lots of truth. Fine acting. I’m 80 now. I learned it all the hard way. There were no films like this one .
Evan Handler - the curly haired friend in this movie,
became the bald guy in Sex and the City years later.
He looks so Jewish
Ronkyort0dox he is
He looks like a young Howie Mandel
@@Ronkyort0dox Handler Is Jewish.
And Todd was the AA guy Carrie dated
Allen turned out to be a great friend. Great movie.
My graduating year, 1987. This has some similarities to how it was for me. Coming out in high school was not an option. Generation X’ers, we are children of the Cold War era and lived every kind of contradiction possible. There was a lot of fear, especially fear of being ashamed of being different. “I wanted to be normal.”😭😢🥺. One of my best friends came out to me that summer after high school, it’s a big part of my story of acceptance. 🙏🌅🤗🥰
Same here...Everything you mentioned, rang so true.
this is very ahead of it's time
Muito obrigado por Isso, essa obra é muito importante para a nossa comunidade ♥️
Great film. Thanks for sharing it. Wish someone showed this to me back when I was their age.
23:18 i need to do a dramatic lawnmower exit in my life, that was well executed haha
yeah chills lol
42:31 was NOT expecting that. God damn...
I was judging this movie hard in the beginning, and it's by no means perfect but it definitely surprised me. Especially for the time, this had heart to it.
As "after school specials" go, this is very well done. Great cast, production values.