one of the things i find most dissatisfying about discussions like this is that there is no definition of what "too fast" means. Does it mean exclusivity? Does it mean seeing each other a few nights/week? Spending weekends together? What better way to get to know someone than to do these things? If I feel like someone i'm dating is dragging her feet, I'll get turned off. Now where I do see an issue with "moving too fast" is making moves that impact one's security like financial or moving in together but then again, you can "know" someone for years and bad stuff can still happen. I'm all for getting to know someone sooner rather than later and the foot draggers can find someone else. thanks for the discussion
I'd agree with everything except dating multiple men. This creates a vicious cycle of first dates and first kisses (and let's be honest... first hookups) with dozens of men per year for many many women. Those create dopamine hits and anxiety which women often become addicted to making it difficult to eventually settle down. It creates a mentality of moving on to the next fish in the sea the moment something isn't perfect. I've watched it become the norm for a ton of friends in my age range who are now 50's and still single, no kids no husband, great career but deeply sad.
one of the things i find most dissatisfying about discussions like this is that there is no definition of what "too fast" means. Does it mean exclusivity? Does it mean seeing each other a few nights/week? Spending weekends together? What better way to get to know someone than to do these things? If I feel like someone i'm dating is dragging her feet, I'll get turned off. Now where I do see an issue with "moving too fast" is making moves that impact one's security like financial or moving in together but then again, you can "know" someone for years and bad stuff can still happen. I'm all for getting to know someone sooner rather than later and the foot draggers can find someone else. thanks for the discussion
You said it well, thanks alot
That hit me like a sack of bricks when you talked about coming out of a long term marriage and treating dating like that.
I want to take things slow. My brain keeps telling me no. The question for me isn't why, but how?
I'd agree with everything except dating multiple men. This creates a vicious cycle of first dates and first kisses (and let's be honest... first hookups) with dozens of men per year for many many women. Those create dopamine hits and anxiety which women often become addicted to making it difficult to eventually settle down. It creates a mentality of moving on to the next fish in the sea the moment something isn't perfect. I've watched it become the norm for a ton of friends in my age range who are now 50's and still single, no kids no husband, great career but deeply sad.