Dearest Stephen, you were a very young boy when your Father mistreated you all. The anger and frustration you carry as a man is because you couldn’t stop him back then. It’s time to forgive yourself for not being able to stop him abusing your Mom and sister, you were just a little boy - you did all you could. Do not carry his guilt. Be kinder to yourself, you deserve to be clean and happy. 🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧
I can't stop looking at his portrait. The look in his eyes, after listening to his story, is haunting. I wish you to find peace at some point in your life Stephen. I sincerely do. It's never too late.
@Zert Teyyy why do you say that? Do you know he m in real life? Just curious...a lot of these videos ppl leave these comments cause they know the person IRL.
I remember being 5 and seeing my stepdad slam my mom's arm in the door on the refrigerator. Broke it. You don't forget shit like that. It is seared into your memory
I like this guy a lot he’s got a lot of intelligence and self-awareness. And he’s been through a lot. It’s like he’s almost there he’s just one number off, cracking the safe thats full of Gems.
Poor dude is so absorbed with what his father did to him, he won’t even talk about what he did to his kids. Getting honest is really hard. Taking responsibility is even harder.
Took me until I was 30 before I could talk about my childhood, and it wasn't as bad as this guys. I feel so bad for him. And it just goes to show why we need to come down on sex offenders and abusers with strict and harsh punishments.
Truer words were never spoken. I didn’t find my peace till my 30’s. Had to take a good hard look into that mirror, and get real honest about my past. That was the first step in a long journey of learning to love myself.
I just want to hug this man . I’m sorry this happened to you 😭 childhood trauma from alcoholism is so hard to get over . I pray healing over him 💕💕💕💕🙏🏽
Stephen's story brought me to tears this morning. I was not expecting that at all. Childhood trauma is a huge risk factor for alcohol abuse and it is very sad. Trauma is the main thing I always look for in my patients and it almost always shows up in their history. Hope Stephen finds love and peace. No situation is ever hopeless and recovery is possible for anyone who is ready.
Yup and it happens A LOT MORE then anyone knows. A lot of children have ptsd. They grow up into effed up adults. Didnt know what was wrong w me for years. Growing up w an alcoholic abusive father and a neglectful mother set me up for a lifetime of problems.
He ended that sentence by saying "and maybe I APPEAR stronger, but my heart is shattered." This reveals the conflict he has in his heart due to his childhood. He WANTS TO BELIEVE "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", but he is still negatively impacted and wounded from what happened to him as a child. He isn't trying normalize trauma. He spent the last 30 minutes showing how trauma screwed up his life.
I dreaded my ex coming home every night. Thankfully, it only took me a year to get rid of him, but in that time he seriously traumatized me. I've been single over 7 years now. No desire to go through that again.
The eyes, as they say, are the windows to the soul. Every time I watch these portraits, I can tell how that persons spirit is travelling, by looking into their eyes....Stephen...some how, some way, you have to dig deep to find forgiveness in your heart for your dads actions...doesn't excuse anything he did....but this is ripping you a part and you need your soul to be healed. Sending you love my brother, Marg -, Canberra Australia xxx
how can you tell somebody so easily, to forgive, when you have not walked the same path as them. you aren't a counselor or a pastor. shame on you... how can you accept molestation? as a child?
@@Fishifyed it's not about his father, the forgiveness part is what it will give Stephen, freedom. Holding onto anger/hate towards another person is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
I had therapy for my childhood trauma. The therapist gave me some advice that changed my life. She asked me to find a photograph of myself as a child, when I was going through the trauma. To look at it and feel compassion and empathy for this child. To forgive myself. I did and it changed my whole life. I was finally at peace. God bless you Stephen. I truly hope you find peace xx
If u read through the comments Stephen, I’m sending u love and light. My dad went to Vietnam too and came home twisted. Met my mom who had 2 kids already. Married her, started molesting my sister for 7 years and my mom caught them and didn’t do anything. Idk what my dad said to her , he had a massive Arsenal of everything u can think of. My point is brother I feel your pain in my heart, not saying I felt what u felt as a kid growing up but I do understand loving and hating your father. We don’t talk to this day I left home@14 and was a run away, ward of the state, group homes the whole bit. I’m proud to say I turned my life around and have been very grateful to live as a mother etc. No hard feelings it is what it is. Made me strong af 😉
He's a really good person, you can see it in him, some people are naturally good, theyre born with natural empathy and sensitivity. I hope he finds peace, he has so much good in him and thats very rare.
I was tortured for 3 years by my stepmom. From ages 3 - 6. My first memory is my stepmom slapping me over the side of the head at my grandmas house and picking me up by my neck choking me out then dropping me on the floor. She then would whisper in my ear "If you tell anyone I will kill you when you sleep" And I truly believed she would and she got away sexually torturing and physically torturing me. She would deprive me of water for days, put the pillow over my head and laughed while I suffocated, She would make me drink my own urine, she would bite my dick, literally boil me in the bathtub with hott water until my skin got blisters, I used to get so thirsty from her not giving me any water for over 24 hours and I would drink toilet in the middle of the night because I was scared to death to go to the kitchen. She would make me stand in the corner for hours because she didn't want to look at my face, she would make me sit in my room all day and only let me use one toy. When I would pee the bed she would put my face in the toilet until I about drowned. I eventually got the balls to tell my mom one day. My biological father stayed with my stepmom and abandoned me and my sister. I Have not seen or heard from my dad since I was 7 years old. He was a cop and my mom feared him for her own reasons. As A grown man I now have a career and make decent money. I often think how someone could be so evil. And how my biological father can sleep with a pedOfile every night without wondering about his kids. But I have learned to let it go. I enjoy my life and I'm thankful my mom got me out of that situation at a young age and it did not mess me up mentally.
Whats bad is war...Vietnam fuc*d a lot of people up. They weren't garbage. The war fuc*d my great uncle up. Its definitely bad what they did, but I wouldn't call them garbage
@@wesleyAlan9179 Exactly his dad was a victim of circumstance and I love how Stephen shows his very raw human conflicted emotions towards his dad. He loves him he hates him he forgives him and understands why his dad was the way he was and at the same time he doesn't. Stephen shows us how life is hypocritical and never ever rarely is anything certain or 100 percent except death. Excellent interview
I cant imagine the anxiety he felt as a child, these kinda childhoods produce sociopathic individuals. Imagine the confusion of loving, hating, wanting to kill your parent, the constant conflicting confusion. Absolutely terrifying!
right? I can't even imagine. It breaks my heart. I've had so many issues and counseling over relatively minor issues of anger toward my mother and all of this is next level horrible nightmares...I don't know how a lot of people function day to day.
Yea it's worse thinking of them hugging you. My mom had me scared she beat me every day bad since I could remember until something changed idk what but at 13 I fought back. I got whooped but i fought back. I fought so much until she wasn't so big and bad anymore and it's me doing the damage. First time I won I smiled all day. Then her health went to shit and now she's sorry?? I am 25 moved out at 16. When she gets mad I laugh to this day! I don't feel love at my childhood I feel more angry. I realize shell never be a good mom so ok and? I'll be here still swinging. Ian like her picking the weak I just get down when it's time to get dirty. Yea I'll eat with her all I ask is don't pretend like you we'rent abusive and don't hug me bitch Ian used to that.
These videos help keep me sober! I never want to forget that alcoholism robbed me of everything including my freedom. Now that I've regained my it I'm taking full advantage of my freedom and living abroad and helping others do the same. We do recover!
I can feel this man's pain. I can see how he is burying his pain, as soon as he starts to recognize his bad memories I can see him push those feelings back down. But there very close to being all filled up and at a place where there about to erupt. Hey homie I don't think your week actually I think your very strong! Let it out for to a river and just cry until you run out of tears! I promise you it will help and there's nothing embarrassing or weak about it. Purge all the bad to make room for the good. God luck, dog!!!
This is heavy in terms of trauma! Very unfortunate, he seems like a nice guy and he went through all the nonsense. Alcoholism has a negative effect, very accessible and habit forming. Too bad....
He’s 100% correct what he said about Vietnam. My dads uncle lost his mind on the shit he saw over their. The stories he shared were so insane. He literally said they lined up on the kids, women, and men on the floor laying down and ran them over with tanks ! He said he can hear the crunchy sounds of bones in his head still... that was just one story ..
Dang! My dad was in Vietnam. God rest his soul. I remember asking him about it when I was little and he said "I don't wana talk about it". I tear up thinking about that now. I can't imagine the things he witnessed. God bless our vets.
When you're forced to watch a child be abused (his sisters) it fucks you up deeply.. the helplessness and pain... I think it's worse then being abused.. this man had to deal with both..
My father is supposedly a "good" man now but I'm never letting him off the hook for traumatizing me as a young person. He wants to be in my life but when I leave the past behind that includes him. He was never held accountable for what he did. I'm not giving him a pass.
@@brianaceseretti7356 It is. It seemed out of the 6 of us, I was the one she hated. I learned I didn't have to be around her even though she had a good relationship with my daughter. I just kept my distance to protect my heart. That was the beginning of my healing. In the last 10yrs of her life she was abused and kept a prisoner by our half sister. We tried to help but not much you can do when they live in Hawaii and we lived on the mainland. I ended up feeling really sad for my mom because she ended up suffering some of the same abuse I got from her.😢
Alanon can be helpful for those abused by alcoholics. It is understandable that at times it is best to leave them in the past, sometimes it is essential. There are also times that if the alcoholic has/is working a 12 step program, is in recovery, and has changed healing can occur. It is sadly not as often as is needed. Sorry for what you both experienced, trauma is so scarring.
@@andreamcmanus1068 I have heard about it but I haven’t had the courage to go to the meetings. I’ve been to a AA meeting and I’m expecting it kind of to be similar to it? Thank you for your kind words
@@brianaceseretti7356 Yes, alanon is done similarly. The atmosphere of AA or alanon depends on the make-up of the group. It's a good possibility they have some web meetings. Facebook support grps can be very helpful when you find a good one. That's another option to continue.
I truly believe that with help, Stephen can work past these feelings and move on to live the rest of his life lighter. I wish there was a free counselling clinic on Skid Row for the residents, it's what they really need.
Some wounds will never heal. Only thing a person can do is to try to put it behind them and be a better person to the next. Hopefully that could slow down the cycle of abuse.
Mark I love your channel and how often you upload, although I’m having a hard time keeping up😂😂😂 but again thank you for keeping the great content coming . You should be nominated for TH-cam channel Of the year and documentary of the year!!!!!
@Zert Teyyy Those under the influence for decades mix up the dates of their own lives, nevermind the exact dates of the generation before he was born. If he got his own birthdate or his kids' birth years incorrect, that would not be surprising, but in a alcoholic fog, expected. No one would give credence or expect correct dates, but doesn't change the reality of events and actions.
I’m amazed at the self awareness of this guy and what he has been through. It’s sad though because he sees it all and just can’t get out. This is where our country has failed at mental health care, there are thousand of others out there just like him. Respect to Mark for putting SWU put there
Great interview. Truly hope this can resolve, life is so short... The repeating, reminds me of my own days with alcohol... The pain reciprocates, and depends on what you're gripped into. He truly deserves peace, and know he will find it 🤞
An abusive dad/stepdad is the worst thing imo. Mom typically backs up the dad and it ends up turning kids super violent/angry/untrusting of anyone. I deal with the effects to this day. Only person I ever wanted to kill was my step dad. Luckily he died due to his own alcoholism. Had to go to his wake just to make sure he was dead
@mz. white - nelligan yeah it's sad. It's usually out of fear. Atleast in my case and alot of others I hear on this channel. Mom constantly said she wished he would die but at the same time was too scared to leave him bc he was unpredictable
I'm sorry. It's hard to have that much hate towards a parent. I felt that towards my mother. Children should never experience anything that would cause them to feel intense hatred. They loose part of their innocence and childhood.
Such mothers are just as guilty as the violent fathers. If my kid gets abused I ain't backing up for shit, even if it costs my life. You put kids on this planet, you're responsible of what happens to them, end of the story. You don't own that, you don't get kids, no judgement at all. It's not freaking mandatory, especially if one deals with a ton of problems already. A kid ain't gonna make it easier at all, he's just gonna pay the bills he didn't ask for.
I love Stephen. He has an amazing heart. So much potential, no chance to be loved. His dad is doing ok now and look at Stephen. I just wish sometimes we would interview both parties at the same time. And apologize. That would mena a lot to these people!!!!!
Damn, this man is so self aware, and so broken. Hearing him go in depth about his childhood trauma and the issues of his father is unbelievable. He's lived one hell of a life, and i only hope his children do not repeat the cycle that he, his father, and god knows who else down the line has gone through.
Wow horrible that his father molested and abused him and his sister... I wonder if the dad ever apologized or admit what he did to all of them 😔 too bad that his mom could not protect her children and herself
@@marylougeorge9890 True. He is also still harming his children being verbally abusive, while his victims try to protect him. That is the epitome of a POS. That is in no way a changed human. That is just an abuser whose victims got bigger and stronger than he so he changes to use what he still can...his words.
This was like a good counseling session for him! He is a good man with a good heart and soul. I can easily see him in AA meetings/ some counseling and learning how trust others again and work this stuff out in Order to live and thrive!! That is my prayer for him! I see a lot of hope for change and freedom if he Forgives and continues to get this past stuff out!!! What an AWESOME brother his sister has!❤️
Yep, I had a similar childhood. He needs to stop being the victim. When I left home I chose to get therapy and I took a different path in life. I see my siblings being dysfunctional because they never stopped being the victim.
@@trippin6118 I think that's a bit harsh. It's not a question of 'being' a victim, he was a victim, not by choice. The path to overcome his trauma has not presented itself to him as yet. How's he going to afford therapy?
@@carolanddaryl922 I wasn't trying to be harsh. I went through the same kind of childhood. He needs to try to find a way to stop being the victim so he can find peace. It's sad for him to carry that around with him. It's robbing him of happiness.
@BeetsbyDwight Cool beans is not being stupid or a "dumb fuck" by any means. They may not have explained themselves well, but the only way for Stephen to move forward in life, is to stop seeing himself as a victim. That is not to say he was not a victim or did not suffer from lots of abuse. Its up to him to see that he is now in control of his narrative and life. I grew up in a very similar situation . I am now 40 years old, and did not let go of my past until 3 years ago. Once I realized that regardless of what i had been through, im completely responsible for my life decisions. Took me a long time to understand i cant blame anyone for the choices i make now as an adult. So stop being a dumb fuck yourself.
Alcohol is as deadly a drug as many others.. Another soul destroyed by childhood abuse. " hes a good man now" , referring to the dad . Why? Because he found Jesus? Yeah Right. His rage toward the maggot father is palpable. Rage because of the pain. Very unnerving but understandable. " my heart is shattered" . Sums it up in four words.
To think of being a helpless child, unable to help your mother as she's being beaten? Omg i can't even imagine the pain 4:10 🥺😕 he seems like he was/is a good older brother
I'm assuming dad has never made restitution to his family. An " I'm sorry for what I put you through" goes a long way. An apology or not Stephen will need to find a way to let go of the past. Forgive your father Stephen. There is a reason the military takes 18 year olds. They know they can mold them into whatever they want. An 18 yr old shouldn't see war. Let alone participate. Vietnam was hell. Hell came home with too many men. I'm sorry for your pain. Let it go, move away if you need to. You don't want to die with this anger. Sending love and hope for a better tomorrow 💕
@@victoriabryant3078 violence creates a relationship where there is fear. The fear forces the relationship. Love creates a relationship out of trust, and safety. There’s a big difference. Not really debatable.
@@victoriabryant3078 however the profitable part, sadly violence is more profitable in the short term id say. Love takes time to become profitable but it’s worth it.
@@Tiredvvitch I disagree. Love is expedient. It is revered & felt & believed once felt immediately. Violence is immediate confusion, defense etc. Love is understood clearly with trust, security & serenity. That's why violence is never the answer unless to protect.
Crazy. Me and this man went through the same type of childhood. And iv never related so hard to how he explains how it feels. Just rage. I feel you brother. I feel you so hard. It's never too late though. God bless you brother I see you.
This one really got to me. It’s brutally honest, painful, familiar. I know this story. I had an uncle who did 3 tours of duty in Vietnam. 3 of my mother’s brothers served in this war. They all had change in some way. No one came home the same. But one, in particular was there the longest-3 tours. He was a troubled soul before he went …and after he was a full blown alcoholic and he was that way most of my life and I’m 55 years old. There were short periods of sobriety through the years, but he always went back to Johnny Walker and malt liquor. He always had a beer in his hand. All ways and if he didn’t he had just finish drinking it and was on his way to the corner liquor store to get some more. At the time during the. 70’s there was a liquor store on both corners of the block my grandparents lived on - 82nd and Main .. The other corner was San Pedro. The liquor store on the corner of 82nd and San Pedro always had these older men who gathered on the side of the store, drinking and talking. My uncle knew some of them and he would stop and talk with them .. have a beer with them. My uncle always drove a Cadillac at the time. The long one with the white wall tires and he had the “The Duke” inscribed on the driver side door. I remember one time when he was driving down our street towards my grandparents house some neighborhood kids were running behind his car so excited to see him! The loved him and I did too! I didn’t know any of these kids and I was totally surprised they knew him! He would always have a pocket full of change and dollars . He would give the kids money as the yelled his neighborhood name “ The Duke.” He was 68 yrs old when he died from ALS. My father was not a Vietnam Vet, but he was a very abusive alcoholic all of my life . He was very similar to my father which explains the love/hate relationship. I went several years without seeing my father. I remember when he and my mom were together he would beat her something terrible and I remember one time, after terrible beating he dropped us off at my grandparents house - left us on the porch. As an adult I went many years without seeing him or even hearing from him. When I finally saw him again, he was in a locked faculty for people with brain injuries and/ or mental health issues who could not live on their own nor could they be trusted to go outside of the facility without Supervision and medication. After I saw him I realized he had dementia and that does not mix well with alcohol! I’m still trying to find out how he ended up there. I heard he got into a fight or an altercation with someone maybe in another more open facility. Whatever happened there, landed him in this place. It was horrible to see him there without his teeth… in a wheel chair. His room was plain and had only the bare necessities. He remembered who I was but not much else. My spent with him consisted of me answering the same questions over and over again. I cried after the first visit and the subsequent ones thereafter. I never found out why he drank or where the abusive behavior came from. And I understand Stephen’s anger towards his father and towards himself. I just want to say to Stephen, you may never understand your father’s pain , his behavior , and why he was so abusive towards your mother , you and your siblings. I remember thinking how unfair it was for my father not to remember all of the horrible things he said and beatings he inflicted on my mother. I thank God she had the courage to leave when she did. Had she stayed I would be a very different woman.. I never got an apology or any explanations from my father before he died. At some point I realized him being in that facility was his punishment for all he did . See he was no longer in charge. There was no more yelling, no more fighting, no more drinking and smoking . He couldn’t even eat the foods he enjoyed so much since they had to remove his teeth. He never received his dentures before he died. He died a poor shell of a man -alone. He was trapped in his own mind . Once I realized this I knew I had to forgive my father. There was nothing he could do to reverse all of the pain and hurt he inflicted upon his wives and children . Nothing . I had to forgive him and let that pain and anger go. Stephen, you have to forgive your father and let him go. Don’t keep that anger in your heart. It will prevent you from loving not only yourself but your children and grandchildren . You still have time to be everything you wish your father was to you and your dear sisters. Counseling and prayer will help but forgiveness will heal your heart. Don’t give up ! Don’t give up on God either. God bless you sir!
This man tells the most edge of your seat details I have ever heard. I’m so sorry for the pain he’s endured but I am so appreciative of his raw honesty. I wish him well and hope his future is a happier one.
Sometimes one of the hardest challenges in life is to forgive someone who doesn’t even feel sorry for what they did to you. If his father would sincerely apologize and ask for forgiveness, then Stephen might start healing. I want Stephen to find peace.
In order to get peace we have to, At All Costs, forgive others. Give up on their Ever acknowledging or apologizing for what they did. Feels Totally impossible but that's only a feeling.
I notice that ppl like his dad don't think they have to atone for their transgressions b/c they think that "god has forgiven" them,so to them that's all that matters. In his dad's mind he's a different person now, so he's probably not remorseful about the trauma he caused his son. A lot church ppl are wicked and hiding behind their deity.
@@blacknbougie8021 True but they are wrong. Just because you are saved doesn't mean you walk on water! Yes, we're forgiven by God when we repent but God still looks at the condition of our hearts. Our intention is Everything. A person who is ashamed is the one who can't look their sin in the face. Stephen brings this up when he talks about his father being bothered by ghosts.
Oh you made me cry. I grew up with an alcoholic mother as an only child. I can't imagine what you went through but I resonate with you and honor your experience. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. 💙
Ugh. My heart breaks for him. Abusing children leads to such brokenness. I love how incredibly intelligent and self aware he is, though. War and substances broke his father, and his father broke the family. You can see the inner conflict of love and hate for his dad. God bless him.
14:52 I have an eerie-similar childhood story and when he says "I dont know if it was my fault or his" is DEEP. Took me 20+ years of my life to be okay with my answer. I wish I could hug this man.
I wish I could reach through my screen and give this man a big, long hug. His upbringing clearly shattered him. As much as I want to hate his father for doing this, he was a victim too. What our veterans have to live with is just unimaginable.
That half hour pretty much flew by. Poor guy. What a story. He's so intelligent, emotionally aware and lucid. Steve keep fighting man, push, push, push through. Keep going, aim for the good, try and stop the bad shit, little by little, day by day.
THIS GUY. This guy and his brutal honesty has moved me beyond any of the other videos I have watched. And I have watched a TON of the videos in this series. I will contribute to organizations to help these folks. I had mixed emotions about these videos initially but I’ve come to the conclusion that these people are sharing their stories and exposing their humanity. Their pain. Their suffering. And most and hopefully all people can see themselves in them. They are not much different than you and I in many ways. They are suffering. They are dealing with it the best they know how. Let’s help them. We can be better.
He heard his sisters screaming in their room when their dad was molesting them. He seen his mom being beat on a regular basis. This is really heavy duty stuff here. I don't know how he even makes it as far as he does on a daily. Man, this is some horrible messed up memories. I feel bad but I was actually relieved when his mom busted open his dad's head. Some kind of justice anyway. I hope Stephen will find a way to forgive himself. There was nothing he could do because he was too little. His dad would have killed him if he tried to protect his sisters and mom.
This guy talks about this as if it all happened yesterday, it is as if he’s been wanting to tell his story for a long time. I hope your father watches this and feels how much pain your in because I can feel it.. you are very brave for telling your story. I wish you all the best man god bless you 🙏🏾
Keeping you in my prayers Stephen . You do have a purpose in life. Your Story of your life has helped many people who you have been thru similar situations. Keep talking Stephen you life story has a purpose. Sending you hugs from Seattle
Dearest Stephen, you were a very young boy when your Father mistreated you all. The anger and frustration you carry as a man is because you couldn’t stop him back then. It’s time to forgive yourself for not being able to stop him abusing your Mom and sister, you were just a little boy - you did all you could. Do not carry his guilt. Be kinder to yourself, you deserve to be clean and happy. 🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧🏴🇬🇧
Such wise advice!
This guy is very loyal and he struggles. He was taught from a little boy to protect his family and then like he says, the dad was the monster.
Amen!
This comment brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully said
Who are you to tell him to move on? Some stuffs unforgettable; even if you forgive.
"I appear stronger, my heart is shattered".
I hear you Stephen, I hear you ~
✌🌷
I can't stop looking at his portrait. The look in his eyes, after listening to his story, is haunting. I wish you to find peace at some point in your life Stephen. I sincerely do. It's never too late.
Yes, same here..
I respect this man
Same
I can relate a lot to the lack of love and a father relationship.
👋🏾 Good Morning Luv (@Wesley alan) I hope your Holidays went well and was filled with lots of love my virtual fam. Happy New Year!🎊 😊🥰💕✌🏾
That was beautiful 💜
Stephen is full of wisdom and he has a lot on his heart. I hope he will become a regular guest here.
Me too.
Yes...me too. He's real.
So haunting, but you can tell underneath that shell he is a beautiful soul. Praying for him to get some peace.
@@Kimmeranne d fred dm1
@Zert Teyyy why do you say that? Do you know he m in real life? Just curious...a lot of these videos ppl leave these comments cause they know the person IRL.
He remembers that day, at 9 years old, as if it were yesterday; the weight of that memory is just as heavy today.
@Zert Teyyy maybe, maybe not. Neither benefit him.
@Zert Teyyy 9 years old is old enough to retain memory, especially if it's a traumatic experience
I remember being 5 and seeing my stepdad slam my mom's arm in the door on the refrigerator. Broke it. You don't forget shit like that. It is seared into your memory
He’s havin flashbacks from the trauma... Prob been reliving it everyday since that day
What a shitty start to life. I hope he can get some peace.
Its probably the first time this man has ever told his story, kudos to him, I wish you nothing but the best in life!! 🇵🇷 Boricua
STAY STRONG!!
I like this guy a lot he’s got a lot of intelligence and self-awareness. And he’s been through a lot. It’s like he’s almost there he’s just one number off, cracking the safe thats full of Gems.
Love this comment!
Perfectly put ! Stephen you will get through this.
Agreed.
Sure Jan.
GOD BLESS THEM ALL 🙌🏼🙏🤘🏼
"Violence is a universal language, everybody understands even animals."
Stephen
Yea he is the first person I heard break it down like that..
@@zaypierson6255 true it's the first time I heard that as well. Really profound.
Well, humans are biologically animals, so..
This was a deep one. I hope he finds his peace. Please follow up with him Mark
Poor dude is so absorbed with what his father did to him, he won’t even talk about what he did to his kids. Getting honest is really hard. Taking responsibility is even harder.
Took me until I was 30 before I could talk about my childhood, and it wasn't as bad as this guys. I feel so bad for him. And it just goes to show why we need to come down on sex offenders and abusers with strict and harsh punishments.
Truer words were never spoken. I didn’t find my peace till my 30’s. Had to take a good hard look into that mirror, and get real honest about my past. That was the first step in a long journey of learning to love myself.
Good point.
@@BVonBuescher fr
@Zert Teyyy hey just to clarify he said his mom is from Puerto Rico and left with his dad when she was 15 his dad was American
I just want to hug this man . I’m sorry this happened to you 😭 childhood trauma from alcoholism is so hard to get over . I pray healing over him 💕💕💕💕🙏🏽
I love the way this guy speaks and carries himself I could listen to him all day!
This i son bitu playing games.Dont you understand? Wa cky is trying to ruin ordinary citiizens like us.
Man. This dude has heart. Just goes to show, you can never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes. We need more love on this world.
Stephen's story brought me to tears this morning. I was not expecting that at all. Childhood trauma is a huge risk factor for alcohol abuse and it is very sad. Trauma is the main thing I always look for in my patients and it almost always shows up in their history. Hope Stephen finds love and peace. No situation is ever hopeless and recovery is possible for anyone who is ready.
This poor man. You can just see the pain in his eyes, I hope he finds peace in life.
Childhood trauma is always at the core. So sad. Poor guy.
Yup and it happens A LOT MORE then anyone knows. A lot of children have ptsd. They grow up into effed up adults. Didnt know what was wrong w me for years. Growing up w an alcoholic abusive father and a neglectful mother set me up for a lifetime of problems.
@@MaryJane-qm3ld I'm sorry. You're right. A lot of us are in the same boat.💔
@@MaryJane-qm3ld 😕
I'm sure Vietnam was responsible for a lot of it too.
He keeps going back to talking about his dad. His father is the root of all his pain. The definition of a love/hate relationship
I wish we didn’t try to normalize trauma by saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”... resilience is not a childhood expectation.
Kudos to you for putting that point out there. 👏🏽 As simple and obvious as it is, a lot of people need to read and re-read your comment.
Yes. Very well said.
🦅❤️🦅
What doesn't kill you does not always make you stronger, it often makes you harder and broken.
Jennifer - YES!
He ended that sentence by saying "and maybe I APPEAR stronger, but my heart is shattered." This reveals the conflict he has in his heart due to his childhood. He WANTS TO BELIEVE "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", but he is still negatively impacted and wounded from what happened to him as a child. He isn't trying normalize trauma. He spent the last 30 minutes showing how trauma screwed up his life.
This guy is more of a man than these "pimps" on here.
@Zert Teyyy N
Definitely
Most definitely!
@Zert Teyyy that's the shit! 😂
How? This guy is just a garbage pail. You are probably just mad cuz u r a simp.
This man was dying to get this out. Thank you for seeing him and letting him share his story.
I was intrigued and saddened at the same time while watching this vid. I wish this guy peace.
I deffinetly understand the "dark cloud" of a dad/step dad coming home. Good for that mom for busting dudes head
Same! Dad came home at 6pm and home on the weekends which were always super stressful!
I lived under the dark could too. It's been years since the cloud parted but it still feels strange not to have impending doom.
I dreaded my ex coming home every night. Thankfully, it only took me a year to get rid of him, but in that time he seriously traumatized me. I've been single over 7 years now. No desire to go through that again.
The eyes, as they say, are the windows to the soul. Every time I watch these portraits, I can tell how that persons spirit is travelling, by looking into their eyes....Stephen...some how, some way, you have to dig deep to find forgiveness in your heart for your dads actions...doesn't excuse anything he did....but this is ripping you a part and you need your soul to be healed. Sending you love my brother, Marg -, Canberra Australia xxx
I agree
how can you tell somebody so easily, to forgive, when you have not walked the same path as them. you aren't a counselor or a pastor. shame on you... how can you accept molestation? as a child?
@@Fishifyed it's not about his father, the forgiveness part is what it will give Stephen, freedom. Holding onto anger/hate towards another person is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
@@Fishifyed forgiveness is not easy...ever...but it is freedom!
You can find something in all these stories and relate somehow. I think we all have different levels of pain growing up in some way 🙏.
Well said
Great comment Kimbo!
And so true !!
I had therapy for my childhood trauma. The therapist gave me some advice that changed my life. She asked me to find a photograph of myself as a child, when I was going through the trauma. To look at it and feel compassion and empathy for this child. To forgive myself. I did and it changed my whole life. I was finally at peace. God bless you Stephen. I truly hope you find peace xx
If u read through the comments Stephen, I’m sending u love and light. My dad went to Vietnam too and came home twisted. Met my mom who had 2 kids already. Married her, started molesting my sister for 7 years and my mom caught them and didn’t do anything. Idk what my dad said to her , he had a massive Arsenal of everything u can think of. My point is brother I feel your pain in my heart, not saying I felt what u felt as a kid growing up but I do understand loving and hating your father. We don’t talk to this day I left home@14 and was a run away, ward of the state, group homes the whole bit. I’m proud to say I turned my life around and have been very grateful to live as a mother etc. No hard feelings it is what it is. Made me strong af 😉
I've watched so many of these videos, and one thing that always strikes me is how vivid all of these storytellers are. Especially the alcoholics
He's a really good person, you can see it in him, some people are naturally good, theyre born with natural empathy and sensitivity. I hope he finds peace, he has so much good in him and thats very rare.
I've noticed that too.
Child abuse should be priority #1 for all law enforcement.
I was tortured for 3 years by my stepmom. From ages 3 - 6. My first memory is my stepmom slapping me over the side of the head at my grandmas house and picking me up by my neck choking me out then dropping me on the floor. She then would whisper in my ear "If you tell anyone I will kill you when you sleep" And I truly believed she would and she got away sexually torturing and physically torturing me. She would deprive me of water for days, put the pillow over my head and laughed while I suffocated, She would make me drink my own urine, she would bite my dick, literally boil me in the bathtub with hott water until my skin got blisters, I used to get so thirsty from her not giving me any water for over 24 hours and I would drink toilet in the middle of the night because I was scared to death to go to the kitchen. She would make me stand in the corner for hours because she didn't want to look at my face, she would make me sit in my room all day and only let me use one toy. When I would pee the bed she would put my face in the toilet until I about drowned. I eventually got the balls to tell my mom one day. My biological father stayed with my stepmom and abandoned me and my sister. I Have not seen or heard from my dad since I was 7 years old. He was a cop and my mom feared him for her own reasons. As A grown man I now have a career and make decent money. I often think how someone could be so evil. And how my biological father can sleep with a pedOfile every night without wondering about his kids. But I have learned to let it go. I enjoy my life and I'm thankful my mom got me out of that situation at a young age and it did not mess me up mentally.
I love this guy. He's so genuine and sincere. His dad was just a piece of garbage. I hope he can find some peace and happiness.
Whats bad is war...Vietnam fuc*d a lot of people up. They weren't garbage. The war fuc*d my great uncle up.
Its definitely bad what they did, but I wouldn't call them garbage
@@wesleyAlan9179 Exactly his dad was a victim of circumstance and I love how Stephen shows his very raw human conflicted emotions towards his dad. He loves him he hates him he forgives him and understands why his dad was the way he was and at the same time he doesn't. Stephen shows us how life is hypocritical and never ever rarely is anything certain or 100 percent except death. Excellent interview
@@occaboutbeauty1 👍 absolutely
@Zert Teyyy Why you so pressed ?
I cant imagine the anxiety he felt as a child, these kinda childhoods produce sociopathic individuals. Imagine the confusion of loving, hating, wanting to kill your parent, the constant conflicting confusion. Absolutely terrifying!
right? I can't even imagine. It breaks my heart. I've had so many issues and counseling over relatively minor issues of anger toward my mother and all of this is next level horrible nightmares...I don't know how a lot of people function day to day.
Yea it's worse thinking of them hugging you. My mom had me scared she beat me every day bad since I could remember until something changed idk what but at 13 I fought back. I got whooped but i fought back. I fought so much until she wasn't so big and bad anymore and it's me doing the damage. First time I won I smiled all day. Then her health went to shit and now she's sorry?? I am 25 moved out at 16. When she gets mad I laugh to this day! I don't feel love at my childhood I feel more angry. I realize shell never be a good mom so ok and? I'll be here still swinging. Ian like her picking the weak I just get down when it's time to get dirty. Yea I'll eat with her all I ask is don't pretend like you we'rent abusive and don't hug me bitch Ian used to that.
Right! So sad. A nightmare.
These videos help keep me sober! I never want to forget that alcoholism robbed me of everything including my freedom. Now that I've regained my it I'm taking full advantage of my freedom and living abroad and helping others do the same. We do recover!
Awesome
Love this comment
I can feel this man's pain. I can see how he is burying his pain, as soon as he starts to recognize his bad memories I can see him push those feelings back down. But there very close to being all filled up and at a place where there about to erupt. Hey homie I don't think your week actually I think your very strong! Let it out for to a river and just cry until you run out of tears! I promise you it will help and there's nothing embarrassing or weak about it. Purge all the bad to make room for the good. God luck, dog!!!
Yes, I can feel it too.
This is heavy in terms of trauma! Very unfortunate, he seems like a nice guy and he went through all the nonsense. Alcoholism has a negative effect, very accessible and habit forming. Too bad....
In the long run, it eats up your brain. You become a raving lunatic stuck in the past, not relating to the world around you.💔
I like Stephen a lot and I can relate to his feelings of rage all these years later. Hope he is doing alright.
He’s 100% correct what he said about Vietnam. My dads uncle lost his mind on the shit he saw over their. The stories he shared were so insane. He literally said they lined up on the kids, women, and men on the floor laying down and ran them over with tanks ! He said he can hear the crunchy sounds of bones in his head still... that was just one story ..
Dang! My dad was in Vietnam. God rest his soul. I remember asking him about it when I was little and he said "I don't wana talk about it". I tear up thinking about that now. I can't imagine the things he witnessed. God bless our vets.
When you're forced to watch a child be abused (his sisters) it fucks you up deeply.. the helplessness and pain... I think it's worse then being abused.. this man had to deal with both..
He needs to cry and grieve for the little boy that was 'tainted', his words, by his father.
My father is supposedly a "good" man now but I'm never letting him off the hook for traumatizing me as a young person. He wants to be in my life but when I leave the past behind that includes him. He was never held accountable for what he did. I'm not giving him a pass.
Needed to hear this. Saw my mom after some time and thought this exactly.. it’s time to let go
@@brianaceseretti7356 It is. It seemed out of the 6 of us, I was the one she hated. I learned I didn't have to be around her even though she had a good relationship with my daughter. I just kept my distance to protect my heart. That was the beginning of my healing.
In the last 10yrs of her life she was abused and kept a prisoner by our half sister. We tried to help but not much you can do when they live in Hawaii and we lived on the mainland. I ended up feeling really sad for my mom because she ended up suffering some of the same abuse I got from her.😢
Alanon can be helpful for those abused by alcoholics. It is understandable that at times it is best to leave them in the past, sometimes it is essential. There are also times that if the alcoholic has/is working a 12 step program, is in recovery, and has changed healing can occur. It is sadly not as often as is needed. Sorry for what you both experienced, trauma is so scarring.
@@andreamcmanus1068 I have heard about it but I haven’t had the courage to go to the meetings. I’ve been to a AA meeting and I’m expecting it kind of to be similar to it? Thank you for your kind words
@@brianaceseretti7356 Yes, alanon is done similarly. The atmosphere of AA or alanon depends on the make-up of the group. It's a good possibility they have some web meetings.
Facebook support grps can be very helpful when you find a good one. That's another option to continue.
I truly believe that with help, Stephen can work past these feelings and move on to live the rest of his life lighter. I wish there was a free counselling clinic on Skid Row for the residents, it's what they really need.
Some wounds will never heal. Only thing a person can do is to try to put it behind them and be a better person to the next. Hopefully that could slow down the cycle of abuse.
PARENTS!!!!!! PLEASE LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!
"alcohol makes me numb, it makes me not care" -I feel that..
Mark I love your channel and how often you upload, although I’m having a hard time keeping up😂😂😂 but again thank you for keeping the great content coming . You should be nominated for TH-cam channel
Of the year
and
documentary of the year!!!!!
Agree!
I love this channel. I suffered bad trauma too. Seeing the people share their stories shows me I am not alone and gives me courage.
Dad brought her over from PR when she was 15....that family never had a chance.
@Zert Teyyy how could you know that tho?
@Zert Teyyy Those under the influence for decades mix up the dates of their own lives, nevermind the exact dates of the generation before he was born. If he got his own birthdate or his kids' birth years incorrect, that would not be surprising, but in a alcoholic fog, expected. No one would give credence or expect correct dates, but doesn't change the reality of events and actions.
The best sister keeper is a devoted brother God Bless you ❤️
I’m amazed at the self awareness of this guy and what he has been through. It’s sad though because he sees it all and just can’t get out. This is where our country has failed at mental health care, there are thousand of others out there just like him. Respect to Mark for putting SWU put there
Great interview. Truly hope this can resolve, life is so short... The repeating, reminds me of my own days with alcohol... The pain reciprocates, and depends on what you're gripped into. He truly deserves peace, and know he will find it 🤞
An abusive dad/stepdad is the worst thing imo. Mom typically backs up the dad and it ends up turning kids super violent/angry/untrusting of anyone. I deal with the effects to this day. Only person I ever wanted to kill was my step dad. Luckily he died due to his own alcoholism. Had to go to his wake just to make sure he was dead
@mz. white - nelligan yeah it's sad. It's usually out of fear. Atleast in my case and alot of others I hear on this channel. Mom constantly said she wished he would die but at the same time was too scared to leave him bc he was unpredictable
@mz. white - nelligan this guy knows @crunchy sometimes it's not that easy
I'm sorry. It's hard to have that much hate towards a parent. I felt that towards my mother.
Children should never experience anything that would cause them to feel intense hatred. They loose part of their innocence and childhood.
Such mothers are just as guilty as the violent fathers.
If my kid gets abused I ain't backing up for shit, even if it costs my life. You put kids on this planet, you're responsible of what happens to them, end of the story.
You don't own that, you don't get kids, no judgement at all. It's not freaking mandatory, especially if one deals with a ton of problems already. A kid ain't gonna make it easier at all, he's just gonna pay the bills he didn't ask for.
@@H0kram Pay the bills he didn't ask for...that's the heartbreaking truth.😢
@14:50 Omg I’m screaming through the screen “it’s NOT YOUR FAULT!!!! I wish so much that Mark told him that, in what seemed like a long pause...
This is one of the most eye opening interviews
I love Stephen. He has an amazing heart. So much potential, no chance to be loved. His dad is doing ok now and look at Stephen. I just wish sometimes we would interview both parties at the same time. And apologize. That would mena a lot to these people!!!!!
Damn, this man is so self aware, and so broken. Hearing him go in depth about his childhood trauma and the issues of his father is unbelievable. He's lived one hell of a life, and i only hope his children do not repeat the cycle that he, his father, and god knows who else down the line has gone through.
Wow horrible that his father molested and abused him and his sister...
I wonder if the dad ever apologized or admit what he did to all of them 😔 too bad that his mom could not protect her children and herself
@Colleen De koning i understand but in his situation his mother was aware of the abuse and everything. Its just heartbreaking
Nope. His father never even acknowledged his actions.😢
@@marylougeorge9890 True. He is also still harming his children being verbally abusive, while his victims try to protect him. That is the epitome of a POS. That is in no way a changed human. That is just an abuser whose victims got bigger and stronger than he so he changes to use what he still can...his words.
This has honestly been one of the heaviest interviews Marc has ever done
Yes.
I agree
I really agree.
Go listen to latoya.. especially if you got kids
Heartbreaking.
This was like a good counseling session for him! He is a good man with a good heart and soul. I can easily see him in AA meetings/ some counseling and learning how trust others again and work this stuff out in Order to live and thrive!! That is my prayer for him! I see a lot of hope for change and freedom if he Forgives and continues to get this past stuff out!!! What an AWESOME brother his sister has!❤️
Time for some therapy Stephen to let that stuff go even a little bit.
Yeah, if he let himself trust it, even a little could lift off a lot of that pain.
Yep, I had a similar childhood. He needs to stop being the victim. When I left home I chose to get therapy and I took a different path in life. I see my siblings being dysfunctional because they never stopped being the victim.
@@trippin6118 I think that's a bit harsh. It's not a question of 'being' a victim, he was a victim, not by choice. The path to overcome his trauma has not presented itself to him as yet. How's he going to afford therapy?
@@carolanddaryl922 I wasn't trying to be harsh. I went through the same kind of childhood. He needs to try to find a way to stop being the victim so he can find peace. It's sad for him to carry that around with him. It's robbing him of happiness.
@BeetsbyDwight Cool beans is not being stupid or a "dumb fuck" by any means. They may not have explained themselves well, but the only way for Stephen to move forward in life, is to stop seeing himself as a victim. That is not to say he was not a victim or did not suffer from lots of abuse. Its up to him to see that he is now in control of his narrative and life. I grew up in a very similar situation . I am now 40 years old, and did not let go of my past until 3 years ago. Once I realized that regardless of what i had been through, im completely responsible for my life decisions. Took me a long time to understand i cant blame anyone for the choices i make now as an adult.
So stop being a dumb fuck yourself.
hope his dad watches this
Alcohol is as deadly a drug as many others.. Another soul destroyed by childhood abuse. " hes a good man now" , referring to the dad . Why? Because he found Jesus? Yeah Right. His rage toward the maggot father is palpable. Rage because of the pain. Very unnerving but understandable. " my heart is shattered" . Sums it up in four words.
This was a really intense episode.
I hope Stephen is able to get the help he desperately needs
So many excuses for his dad, but no peace of mind for him. So sad 🥺
Again - great work! Currently watching. Every video you make is interesting. Stay safe!
Theres decency in this man. To stand up to an abusive bully to protect his sisters at such a young age. I hope life improves for Stephen.
Your soul is so pure, innocent and hurt😞
"What dont kill you, only makes you stronger. And maybe I appear stronger, but my heart is shattered."..... - Stephen
To think of being a helpless child, unable to help your mother as she's being beaten? Omg i can't even imagine the pain
4:10 🥺😕 he seems like he was/is a good older brother
Sometimes what doesn’t kill you, can still leave you on life support. 🥴
I'm assuming dad has never made restitution to his family. An " I'm sorry for what I put you through" goes a long way.
An apology or not Stephen will need to find a way to let go of the past. Forgive your father Stephen. There is a reason the military takes 18 year olds. They know they can mold them into whatever they want. An 18 yr old shouldn't see war. Let alone participate. Vietnam was hell. Hell came home with too many men. I'm sorry for your pain. Let it go, move away if you need to. You don't want to die with this anger. Sending love and hope for a better tomorrow 💕
Stephen endured a lot, and it seems that he didn't take his anger out on other vulnerable people. That's some super human strength, indeed.
violence is a universal language that even animals understand but so is love and the fruits of it are more expedient and profitable
Debatable 😭
@@victoriabryant3078 violence creates a relationship where there is fear. The fear forces the relationship. Love creates a relationship out of trust, and safety. There’s a big difference. Not really debatable.
@@victoriabryant3078 however the profitable part, sadly violence is more profitable in the short term id say. Love takes time to become profitable but it’s worth it.
@@Tiredvvitch I disagree. Love is expedient. It is revered & felt & believed once felt immediately. Violence is immediate confusion, defense etc. Love is understood clearly with trust, security & serenity. That's why violence is never the answer unless to protect.
@@kit2130 yeah that’s what I’m saying ha
This is one of my big homies in sd. Wow sad how many fell off to alcohol and drugs...
Thank you for sharing your story, Stephen.
Thank you for all of your hard work Mark! I can’t wait to see what you do next
Stephen you are a smart man that suffered, may god bless you in ypur journey. Full of compassion while everyone around you hurt you. Full of love
I appreciate your honesty Steve. My hope is that you find peace brother.
I have no idea how you find or vet these folks, but again here I'm in tears watching this.
This guy has that voice, when he speaks everyone listens and retains the things he says.
Crazy. Me and this man went through the same type of childhood. And iv never related so hard to how he explains how it feels. Just rage. I feel you brother. I feel you so hard. It's never too late though. God bless you brother I see you.
This one really got to me. It’s brutally honest, painful, familiar. I know this story. I had an uncle who did 3 tours of duty in Vietnam. 3 of my mother’s brothers served in this war. They all had change in some way. No one came home the same. But one, in particular was there the longest-3 tours. He was a troubled soul before he went …and after he was a full blown alcoholic and he was that way most of my life and I’m 55 years old. There were short periods of sobriety through the years, but he always went back to Johnny Walker and malt liquor. He always had a beer in his hand. All ways and if he didn’t he had just finish drinking it and was on his way to the corner liquor store to get some more. At the time during the. 70’s there was a liquor store on both corners of the block my grandparents lived on - 82nd and Main .. The other corner was San Pedro. The liquor store on the corner of 82nd and San Pedro always had these older men who gathered on the side of the store, drinking and talking. My uncle knew some of them and he would stop and talk with them .. have a beer with them. My uncle always drove a Cadillac at the time. The long one with the white wall tires and he had the “The Duke” inscribed on the driver side door. I remember one time when he was driving down our street towards my grandparents house some neighborhood kids were running behind his car so excited to see him! The loved him and I did too! I didn’t know any of these kids and I was totally surprised they knew him! He would always have a pocket full of change and dollars . He would give the kids money as the yelled his neighborhood name “ The Duke.” He was 68 yrs old when he died from ALS. My father was not a Vietnam Vet, but he was a very abusive alcoholic all of my life . He was very similar to my father which explains the love/hate relationship. I went several years without seeing my father. I remember when he and my mom were together he would beat her something terrible and I remember one time, after terrible beating he dropped us off at my grandparents house - left us on the porch. As an adult I went many years without seeing him or even hearing from him. When I finally saw him again, he was in a locked faculty for people with brain injuries and/ or mental health issues who could not live on their own nor could they be trusted to go outside of the facility without Supervision and medication. After I saw him I realized he had dementia and that does not mix well with alcohol! I’m still trying to find out how he ended up there. I heard he got into a fight or an altercation with someone maybe in another more open facility. Whatever happened there, landed him in this place. It was horrible to see him there without his teeth… in a wheel chair. His room was plain and had only the bare necessities. He remembered who I was but not much else. My spent with him consisted of me answering the same questions over and over again. I cried after the first visit and the subsequent ones thereafter. I never found out why he drank or where the abusive behavior came from. And I understand Stephen’s anger towards his father and towards himself. I just want to say to Stephen, you may never understand your father’s pain , his behavior , and why he was so abusive towards your mother , you and your siblings. I remember thinking how unfair it was for my father not to remember all of the horrible things he said and beatings he inflicted on my mother. I thank God she had the courage to leave when she did. Had she stayed I would be a very different woman.. I never got an apology or any explanations from my father before he died. At some point I realized him being in that facility was his punishment for all he did . See he was no longer in charge. There was no more yelling, no more fighting, no more drinking and smoking . He couldn’t even eat the foods he enjoyed so much since they had to remove his teeth. He never received his dentures before he died. He died a poor shell of a man -alone. He was trapped in his own mind . Once I realized this I knew I had to forgive my father. There was nothing he could do to reverse all of the pain and hurt he inflicted upon his wives and children . Nothing . I had to forgive him and let that pain and anger go. Stephen, you have to forgive your father and let him go. Don’t keep that anger in your heart. It will prevent you from loving not only yourself but your children and grandchildren . You still have time to be everything you wish your father was to you and your dear sisters. Counseling and prayer will help but forgiveness will heal your heart. Don’t give up ! Don’t give up on God either. God bless you sir!
You were a child married and protective towards your sister. God Bless you. I'm so sorry you went through that.
This man tells the most edge of your seat details I have ever heard. I’m so sorry for the pain he’s endured but I am so appreciative of his raw honesty. I wish him well and hope his future is a happier one.
Sometimes one of the hardest challenges in life is to forgive someone who doesn’t even feel sorry for what they did to you. If his father would sincerely apologize and ask for forgiveness, then Stephen might start healing. I want Stephen to find peace.
In order to get peace we have to, At All Costs, forgive others. Give up on their Ever acknowledging or apologizing for what they did.
Feels Totally impossible but that's only a feeling.
I notice that ppl like his dad don't think they have to atone for their transgressions b/c they think that "god has forgiven" them,so to them that's all that matters. In his dad's mind he's a different person now, so he's probably not remorseful about the trauma he caused his son. A lot church ppl are wicked and hiding behind their deity.
@@blacknbougie8021 True but they are wrong. Just because you are saved doesn't mean you walk on water! Yes, we're forgiven by God when we repent but God still looks at the condition of our hearts. Our intention is Everything. A person who is ashamed is the one who can't look their sin in the face. Stephen brings this up when he talks about his father being bothered by ghosts.
Oh you made me cry. I grew up with an alcoholic mother as an only child. I can't imagine what you went through but I resonate with you and honor your experience. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your story. 💙
This channel is a blessing for many people because sometimes its just good to unload bottled emotions
Even though he’s been through a lot .... I really like him . I see something special about him... Much love 💕
Ugh. My heart breaks for him. Abusing children leads to such brokenness. I love how incredibly intelligent and self aware he is, though. War and substances broke his father, and his father broke the family. You can see the inner conflict of love and hate for his dad. God bless him.
We don’t hate you Stephen, we love you.
14:52 I have an eerie-similar childhood story and when he says "I dont know if it was my fault or his" is DEEP. Took me 20+ years of my life to be okay with my answer. I wish I could hug this man.
I’m hugging you from here!🙏🙏❤️❤️
I wish I could reach through my screen and give this man a big, long hug. His upbringing clearly shattered him. As much as I want to hate his father for doing this, he was a victim too. What our veterans have to live with is just unimaginable.
That half hour pretty much flew by. Poor guy. What a story. He's so intelligent, emotionally aware and lucid. Steve keep fighting man, push, push, push through. Keep going, aim for the good, try and stop the bad shit, little by little, day by day.
THIS GUY. This guy and his brutal honesty has moved me beyond any of the other videos I have watched. And I have watched a TON of the videos in this series. I will contribute to organizations to help these folks. I had mixed emotions about these videos initially but I’ve come to the conclusion that these people are sharing their stories and exposing their humanity. Their pain. Their suffering. And most and hopefully all people can see themselves in them. They are not much different than you and I in many ways. They are suffering. They are dealing with it the best they know how. Let’s help them. We can be better.
Stephen, sending you an abundance of love, light and healing energy. You are very self aware and you can find a way to happiness. I believe in you.
He heard his sisters screaming in their room when their dad was molesting them. He seen his mom being beat on a regular basis. This is really heavy duty stuff here. I don't know how he even makes it as far as he does on a daily. Man, this is some horrible messed up memories. I feel bad but I was actually relieved when his mom busted open his dad's head. Some kind of justice anyway. I hope Stephen will find a way to forgive himself. There was nothing he could do because he was too little. His dad would have killed him if he tried to protect his sisters and mom.
this was a hard interview but i feel like i learned something from him. i can’t put my finger on what exactly i’ve learned but i feel it.
Same here
This guy talks about this as if it all happened yesterday, it is as if he’s been wanting to tell his story for a long time. I hope your father watches this and feels how much pain your in because I can feel it.. you are very brave for telling your story. I wish you all the best man god bless you 🙏🏾
I’m just amazed at how well the interviewees articulate their life stories with only a little prompting. How much of a pre-interview do they do?
@Erik Perez yes sir
It’s probably because it plays over and over in their head daily.
Probably none. Being anonymous makes it easier to be honest. I dont thing any of these are rehearsed at all.
6 mins in is more than enough to see this man deserved way better. words are failing me right now so I'll leave it at god bless.
Keeping you in my prayers Stephen . You do have a purpose in life. Your Story of your life has helped many people who you have been thru similar situations. Keep talking Stephen you life story has a purpose. Sending you hugs from Seattle
Stephen, thank you for sharing. Wish the best for you and your kids.
wounding and trauma in early life is always the reason for escape(addiction)