How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are | Andrew Solomon

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ค. 2014
  • Writer Andrew Solomon has spent his career telling stories of the hardships of others. Now he turns inward, bringing us into a childhood of struggle, while also spinning tales of the courageous people he's met in the years since. In a moving, heartfelt and at times downright funny talk, Solomon gives a powerful call to action to forge meaning from our biggest struggles.
    TEDTalks is a daily video podcast of the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and much more.
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ความคิดเห็น • 2K

  • @TheRyanLamont
    @TheRyanLamont 10 ปีที่แล้ว +3481

    *"We can endure great pain if we believe it's purposeful"*
    Powerful thought.

    • @ryanbridge4039
      @ryanbridge4039 6 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      Ryan Lamont you might enjoy Victor Frankl’s ‘man’s search for meaning,’ where I beleive Andrew borrowed this quote from.

    • @k.o.r3051
      @k.o.r3051 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Always always give props to the original writer of any quote, poem, story, etc. Remember..

    • @dreamingofcottontails6601
      @dreamingofcottontails6601 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thanks for reiterating that...I'd forgotten that line.
      Definitely very powerful.

    • @rocky328150
      @rocky328150 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      but when the pain takes longer than planned or expected- then you feel like you are very unlucky and luck can never come to you

    • @sartainja
      @sartainja 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Great true quote.

  • @juliagandrud5623
    @juliagandrud5623 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1963

    "If you banish the dragons, you banish the heroes"

    • @kimmiller5780
      @kimmiller5780 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Julia Gandrud Not sure he is a hero.sad for him he can 't just take a gift , believes it's a trick.after inspecting in .please don't talk to people when your sad and sound honestly open I believe you could not find someone you wanted.I cared when I thought you lived in your Grandmother basement no job. bad girl friend ext.

    • @kimmiller5780
      @kimmiller5780 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Julia Gandrud no such thing. take care of your self or get used

    • @vodkacannon
      @vodkacannon 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Julia Gandrud You don't need heroes if there are no dragon

    • @FroehligGirlz
      @FroehligGirlz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Let's not let nazi's continue to fabricate dragons, though. Many, particularly adamant capitalists, use this concept as an excuse to do so.

    • @talastra
      @talastra 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Characters in Brecht plays (more than once, I think) said, "You know, in a well managed war, you wouldn't need heroes."

  • @lonci2244
    @lonci2244 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1178

    “If you were little I would be your friend” I don’t have words

    • @blackrainbow192
      @blackrainbow192 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      Ilona Janser I cried when I heard that 😭

    • @alfredoca687
      @alfredoca687 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      That really broke me 😢♥️

    • @larissaamor
      @larissaamor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@blackrainbow192 Me too!😭Adorable❤️

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I can only imagine how much emotion washed over him in that moment, I'm still tearing up now

    • @roxana4218
      @roxana4218 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Aw man, that made me cry!

  • @SuperOlivess
    @SuperOlivess 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1757

    "The pain you feel today, will be the strength you feel later on."

    • @thelastoutcast9266
      @thelastoutcast9266 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SuperOlivess I agree with this

    • @user-qp9we4pp4q
      @user-qp9we4pp4q 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      "Insulin was invented at the University of Toronto, Canada, from 1921"
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    • @clairecadoux471
      @clairecadoux471 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It can take a while to get it

    • @cockycookie1
      @cockycookie1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yeah, you can always tell yourself you've been through worse. Doesn't make it better but it's something.

    • @andrewong3960
      @andrewong3960 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      QqqqqqqqqQq1q@@thelastoutcast9266 1

  • @lcclui
    @lcclui 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2538

    He speaks so poetically...

    • @napestar
      @napestar 9 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Lawrence Lui He is a writer

    • @braveworrier153
      @braveworrier153 8 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      +Nape Star And also an amazing speaker.

    • @carolinaa.5755
      @carolinaa.5755 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lawrence Lui i

    • @kyraisaboss11
      @kyraisaboss11 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lawrence Lui does it matter? its not about how he speak. but about what he spek about.

    • @zoeyl4857
      @zoeyl4857 4 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      And eloquently

  • @artofthebart
    @artofthebart 4 ปีที่แล้ว +971

    I almost burst into tears when he said his kid's speech. Children are so pure.

    • @birdsforbrains2
      @birdsforbrains2 4 ปีที่แล้ว +49

      Same, except I actually did. That speech was too pure 😭😭😭

    • @tanyawade5197
      @tanyawade5197 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Birds For Brains Yep. Me, too. It was an ugly cry, too😁 with my lip trembling & that scrunched up face🤣. George is a very sweet, profound lil 4-yr old. 🌈

    • @occamsrayzor
      @occamsrayzor 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      We should form a club.

    • @davisdavis1347
      @davisdavis1347 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I did. That parr got to me most.

    • @t.s.taylorhatlestad3662
      @t.s.taylorhatlestad3662 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ArtOfTheBart I completely burst into tears 😭💕

  • @mesajongte
    @mesajongte 5 ปีที่แล้ว +398

    *"We cannot bear a pointless torment : but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful."*

    • @wixielane8513
      @wixielane8513 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is deep

    • @metsot
      @metsot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Love it.

    • @flawless_undergoer
      @flawless_undergoer ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes ,but the torment which stems from cancer illnesses is always meaningless and sadly it is the main wellspring of torments in life ....Torments stemming from illnesses are the most meaningless kind of torments and yet the millions of individuals ought to bear , to daily to undergo it to the end of their healtily wrecked life...

  • @merrymerrymar
    @merrymerrymar 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    “Forging meaning and building identity does not make what was wrong right, it only makes what’s was wrong, precious”.

    • @peterkurtson
      @peterkurtson ปีที่แล้ว

      😭

    • @bzaban
      @bzaban ปีที่แล้ว

      This was absolutely breathtaking

  • @nao1163
    @nao1163 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2173

    I could listen to this man talk ALL DAY. He is an amazing story-teller.

    • @DjMeow
      @DjMeow 6 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      VxNx he sounds like a calming Google

    • @suzannemenuet947
      @suzannemenuet947 6 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I completely agree!

    • @lucid2184
      @lucid2184 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      VxNx I concur!!!

    • @strongfaith94
      @strongfaith94 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @Ligeia D.Aurevilly Same impression I had too.

    • @Lallixxx
      @Lallixxx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You should check out his audiobooks on Audible, he reads them himself and they're absolutely wonderful!

  • @GustavsMiscellany
    @GustavsMiscellany 7 ปีที่แล้ว +654

    I did not expect to get teary after that "If daddy was my age I'd be your friend" moment. Goddamn that was well put

  • @juliacaruso2821
    @juliacaruso2821 4 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    "It took an identity to save me from my sadness."
    I just burst into tears.

  • @minkxz8037
    @minkxz8037 4 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    " If I succeed in sheltering them from adversity I will have failed as a parent." 🙇🏾‍♀️

  • @JamieA242
    @JamieA242 10 ปีที่แล้ว +250

    I cried when he said that his Son would be his friend. He earned his happiness and he deserves it.

    • @sse8917
      @sse8917 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me too

  • @TrollinJoker
    @TrollinJoker 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1156

    I love life for people like you.

    • @elantris-2002
      @elantris-2002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yeah same....

    • @MFJoneser
      @MFJoneser 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      1000 likes, one comment? Two now :) me too

  • @Kovukingsrod
    @Kovukingsrod 5 ปีที่แล้ว +755

    This is no doubt one of my very favourite TED talks, if not my very favourite

    • @tayloreverard2039
      @tayloreverard2039 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      i agree it's the only one I come back to over and over

    • @Xlxlssllsefm2
      @Xlxlssllsefm2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      2021 still my favorite speech.

    • @lorettamanes7011
      @lorettamanes7011 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’ve seen this a hundred times and I still tear up at various points. Absolutely brilliant.

    • @nodawomh484
      @nodawomh484 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Me too. It hits hard

  • @ellielindsey7454
    @ellielindsey7454 5 ปีที่แล้ว +153

    "I tend to find the ecstasy hidden in ordinary joys, because I did not expect those joys to be ordinary to me." I can go through periods of intense depression, and this quote sums up exactly how I feel when I am thriving and not in its grips.

  • @AmandaCaldwellDodds
    @AmandaCaldwellDodds 8 ปีที่แล้ว +347

    "Forge meaning, build identity and then invite the world to share your joy"

  • @llabtoof91
    @llabtoof91 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1163

    Wow amazing speach! (this is my storry and im norwegian so sorry for any bad grammar)
    I had a rough start to my life with adoption to different families because my dad was a drunk and my mother overdozed on drugs when I was only a baby.. When I finaly got to my new family (I started living with them at the age of 4 and still look at them as my real family) my new mother was hit with brain canser and my new dad went into a depresion... Life was rough and I saw little to no meaning and I messed up in school at so many levels.
    I then at the age of 16 talked to my friends brother who was a "shrink" and I told him everything. What he said to me changed my life compleetly! I was expecting him to feel sorry for me, but he said: Thats beautiful! I was shocked and got a bit mad, then he explained it to me: The fact that you have felt so much pain, anger and despair but you are still here today is amazing and a good thing! You have learnd more about pain and feelings then I can ever do in any book!
    This changed my life, im not sad because of the bad things, im happy I endured it, becuase it forged me into who I am today! I understand my friends pain better then many and I developed a great understanding of empathy! I now just finished colage and I'm now working with troubled children in kindergarden! I dont think I would have become anything close to this if my life was different. Thanks for reading this and do not feel sorry for me in any way! :) My "new" mom survived the canser, and my dad is no longer depressed!

    • @MikeLawphoto
      @MikeLawphoto 8 ปีที่แล้ว +62

      +Ivan Pedersen you are an amazing person. And I wish you all the happiness in the world.

    • @llabtoof91
      @llabtoof91 8 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Mike Law thank you so much for that kind comment! I wish you the same! :)

    • @ClinicalDecisionYikesYT
      @ClinicalDecisionYikesYT 8 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      you type and can obviously speak better English than most people I know. Rock on Mr. Ivan!!

    • @ishikawayayoi
      @ishikawayayoi 7 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I wish you the best in your life, Ivan! Thank you for sharing your story!

    • @essielindquist4820
      @essielindquist4820 7 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Bravo Ivan! Bless your heart! I have, in my own life, been there, done that.

  • @Loriloyy
    @Loriloyy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    "Far from the tree" is his book. Andrew Solomon is a brilliant man.

    • @leomiller2291
      @leomiller2291 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      “The Noonday Demon” being his main book.

    • @lillianward2810
      @lillianward2810 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Absolutely. One of my favorite books of all time.

    • @justpaddingtonbear
      @justpaddingtonbear ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh, wow! I subconsciously thought of "Far From The Tree" during this lecture. Had no idea he was the author until reading your comment. ❤️

  • @GiangNguyen-tp3pb
    @GiangNguyen-tp3pb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    "What doesn't kill you, will try again later."
    Nicole Watterson

    • @aureli4nus
      @aureli4nus 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      "What doesn't kill you, makes you wish it did"
      found this while playing ME Andromeda lol

  • @aysimaberil
    @aysimaberil 9 ปีที่แล้ว +543

    He is my favorite TED speaker to the date.

    • @alisharo58
      @alisharo58 9 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Aysima Beril Baydar Same. Every speech he makes is not only eloquent but inspiring too. I actually take something away from his lessons. I will begin to apply his advice to my own life. He speaks such wisdom.

  • @6672rock
    @6672rock 9 ปีที่แล้ว +1155

    That has to be the most insightful and thought-provoking TED speech I've ever heard. His words concise, yet their inherent meanings pierce deeply. From the ashes of adversity came a man of outstanding character, razor-sharp wit, broad knowledge and heartfelt compassion, and that man is Andrew Solomon. If only God would bless the world with more people who think, feel and love as deeply as he does, humanity would be better off for it.

    • @xeno126
      @xeno126 9 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      6672rock Really? While I totally agree with the idea he's communicating, I think it's something not hard to arrive at, or it's even obvious.

    • @jibicusmaximus4827
      @jibicusmaximus4827 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +6672rock captivating, felt so sorry for him imagining him as a kid getting picked on and taunted. seems like such an inspiarational person.

    • @braveworrier153
      @braveworrier153 8 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      +Xeno I could sympathise with your nitpicking over 'thought-provoking' but would say that personally, no other TED talk has been more 'emotion-provoking' than this.

    • @xeno126
      @xeno126 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ben Leah
      Yeah, maybe

    • @David-uc4hc
      @David-uc4hc 8 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      +Xeno Learning to come to terms with my own suffering, I can say with confidence that there's a world of difference between knowing basic human truth on a rational level, and knowing it on an intuitive, visceral level. What he was communicating is as important as the man communicating it and it has nothing to do with being novel or revolutionary. That's the thing about human truth; humans lose the capacity to see it when we need it most. The message may be simple, as all human truth is, but this messenger is delivering it with compassion, empathy, and deep personal understanding of the meaning of suffering. This isn't just a great TED talk. This is among the very best.

  • @randscott4676
    @randscott4676 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    A young person once gravely wounded my father for a lifetime calling him 'a real nothing' something he carried at a primal level his entire lifetime. Speaking at my father's funeral I noted his considerable legacy of raising a family and uplifting his community (knowing all the while his aching heart) I roared "he was a real something!"

  • @melissaszarka5718
    @melissaszarka5718 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    The story about George's speech is so beautiful, I cried. "If you were little, I would be your friend. " that's the sweetest thing I have heard for a long time. Thank you. George.

  • @GoFredBananass
    @GoFredBananass 8 ปีที่แล้ว +811

    Andrew Solomon you are a beautiful being and spoke so eloquently. Thank you for your insights.

    • @lvl1cook882
      @lvl1cook882 7 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Mr. Solomon,
      50kgs??
      There's no point doing this at all unless we're shipping at least a metric ton!
      (i'm sorry... )

  • @mikell.6064
    @mikell.6064 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2808

    He looks like sheldon cooper 20 years from now

    • @aysimaberil
      @aysimaberil 9 ปีที่แล้ว +45

      Mike Llerena I started to think I was the only one.I am not!

    • @mikell.6064
      @mikell.6064 9 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Hahaha yeah he totally does!!

    • @muhammadakbarrusdy4619
      @muhammadakbarrusdy4619 9 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Mike Llerena so true

    • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
      @JimmyJaxJellyStax 9 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Mike Llerena lol

    • @oenrob98000
      @oenrob98000 9 ปีที่แล้ว +88

      Mike Llerena He sounds like Sheldon too!

  • @SuperOlivess
    @SuperOlivess 4 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    "After you've forged meaning, you need to incorporate that meaning into a new identity, you need to take the traumas and make them part of who you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph. Evincing a better self, in response to things that have caused you hurt."
    "In the end, some of your greatest pains become your greatest strengths." -- Barrymore

  • @Alexfortintv
    @Alexfortintv 6 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    The school system is a traumatic experience and source of great suffering for many people. I keep hearing those stories and it is obvious to me that online learning is the future.

  • @tekaatvan
    @tekaatvan 7 ปีที่แล้ว +162

    "And I was finally unconditionally grateful for a life I'd once have done anything to change"

    • @metsot
      @metsot 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If that is not an inspiring perspective
      ..I don't know what is.

  • @DiogoF.
    @DiogoF. 8 ปีที่แล้ว +674

    'there's always someone willing to confiscate your humanity'

    • @christyg487
      @christyg487 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Why people did that!? Thats really cruel!

    • @janeaparis
      @janeaparis 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I know this really well, as I have lived with its oppression for years. It is scary how cruel people can be.

  • @sadafmehdipour3984
    @sadafmehdipour3984 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I wish that I can someday reach this level of maturity which I can talk about things I have been through proudly like he does , thank you Mr. Solomon

  • @suzielenferreiradias7558
    @suzielenferreiradias7558 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I loved, It is amazing.
    ..."Forge meaning, build identity.
    For when I am weak then I am strong
    .
    But if we banish the dragons we banish the heroes..."

  • @rkgk1517
    @rkgk1517 8 ปีที่แล้ว +428

    "We can endure great pain if we believe it is purposeful"

    • @xXxjudyx
      @xXxjudyx 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      thank you

    • @LES2198
      @LES2198 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      rkgk1517 o

    • @fauvecorrigan1233
      @fauvecorrigan1233 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      A total stranger gave me a copy of it a few years ago after a brief conversation. I think he could tell I had a lot of questions and existential crises. Thanks for the reminder. Must get it out again.

    • @Yvanne
      @Yvanne 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      rkgk1517 f

    • @lazarostzampazis5028
      @lazarostzampazis5028 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It is the book I am reading today

  • @sarahalicia3951
    @sarahalicia3951 7 ปีที่แล้ว +360

    something about this man is kind of celestial. As if he were a member of a more gentle, developed race. His voice, the way he moves, how he lifts his beautyful eyes, and of course the truth in his words. its silly but he somehow remainded me a little bit of Mr.Spock. obviously he would be quite a different Mr.Spock, because he would embrace his humanhalf and his non-humanhalf would be based on love and wisdom instead of pure logic, but anyway there was a moment in his speach when he finally said the word:"enterprise",and i just cought my self thinking: dont leave us behind!

    • @beth3070
      @beth3070 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Sarah Alicia I see why you mean. He’s almost intoxicating

    • @deelight4097
      @deelight4097 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Yeas I agree...as if he's an earth angel or an angelic being. You ought to listen to his talk on depression. That one will tug at you. It too is on Ted talk.

    • @FroehligGirlz
      @FroehligGirlz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      This needs to be the US's new, non-toxic masculinity.

    • @grimeselianna1003
      @grimeselianna1003 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wow amazing speach! (this is my storry and im norwegian so sorry for any bad grammar)
      I had a rough start to my life with adoption to different families because my dad was a drunk and my mother overdozed on drugs when I was only a baby.. When I finaly got to my new family (I started living with them at the age of 4 and still look at them as my real family) my new mother was hit with brain canser and my new dad went into a depresion... Life was rough and I saw little to no meaning and I messed up in school at so many levels.
      I then at the age of 16 talked to my friends brother who was a "shrink" and I told him everything. What he said to me changed my life compleetly! I was expecting him to feel sorry for me, but he said: Thats beautiful! I was shocked and got a bit mad, then he explained it to me: The fact that you have felt so much pain, anger and despair but you are still here today is amazing and a good thing! You have learnd more about pain and feelings then I can ever do in any book!
      This changed my life, im not sad because of the bad things, im happy I endured it, becuase it forged me into who I am today! I understand my friends pain better then many and I developed a great understanding of empathy! I now just finished colage and I'm now working with troubled children in kindergarden! I dont think I would have become anything close to this if my life was different. Thanks for reading this and do not feel sorry for me in any way! :) My "new" mom survived the canser, and my dad is no longer depressed!

    • @moryveraval6249
      @moryveraval6249 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@grimeselianna1003 - your story is beautiful and you've presented it very well. Thank you. It's very inspiring. You're a healer.

  • @NuanceSociety
    @NuanceSociety 5 ปีที่แล้ว +373

    "Oppression breeds the power to oppose it" my millennial vocabulary permits me only to say, "I am shook"

    • @matthewpellouchoud9817
      @matthewpellouchoud9817 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This quote struck me so strongly that had to come back to listen to it again.

    • @hanami741
      @hanami741 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      jackboot only jumps down when people are standing up

  • @annmariedupont23
    @annmariedupont23 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I come back to this video every 6 months or so for the last 6 years. Best tedtalk.

  • @Murtaskegg
    @Murtaskegg 8 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    I have never heard anyone be so articulate and clear spoken. Truly amazing and touching talk.

  • @JimmyJaxJellyStax
    @JimmyJaxJellyStax 9 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    I like how he is very meditative in his thinking.

    • @haleymakenna9293
      @haleymakenna9293 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Dusk BINGO! That’s what it is about his voice that’s so therapeutic!

  • @laurenbarber8579
    @laurenbarber8579 4 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Every word he chooses is so purposeful, what a great speaker.

  • @aditisaurav4
    @aditisaurav4 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "if you were little, i'd be your friend. "
    I couldn't hold back my tears

  • @eight6sevenfive3oh9
    @eight6sevenfive3oh9 8 ปีที่แล้ว +191

    Thank you to the Bobby Finkels in our lives.

  • @mustaphajaveed6394
    @mustaphajaveed6394 7 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    dude thsi guy is beyond eloquent

  • @prepperjonpnw6482
    @prepperjonpnw6482 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I too am 50 and my grandson is 5. He says things that are not so much innocent but rather they are pure. He has no filters and it’s wonderful beyond imagining. Thank you for allowing me to be apart of your journey by viewing this talk. You are now a part of my journey, and I am blessed because of it. The fact that I am not gay means nothing, I felt alive listening to you, my mind filling with memories of childhood. Thank you

  • @mickeynguyen1002
    @mickeynguyen1002 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    One of the most eloquent and articulate speeches with a powerful message I've ever listened to.Thank you!

  • @Isvaffelx
    @Isvaffelx 8 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    I want to click the like button so hard my mouse breaks. I love this TedTalk, I have watched it three times now, and it is relevant for almost every person in this freaking world. Thank you, Andrew Solomon.

    • @sfappetrupavelandrei
      @sfappetrupavelandrei 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      No, it is not. It is relevant only for gays as it is a gay propaganda.

    • @Isvaffelx
      @Isvaffelx 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Congratulations! You just succeeded in being the dumbest person alive.

  • @madsj27
    @madsj27 8 ปีที่แล้ว +202

    This man is my new hero. I was in tears by the end

    • @miko7323
      @miko7323 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madi Johnson l

    • @miko7323
      @miko7323 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madi Johnson Cuộc đời nhàm chán méo có ý chí cầu tiến :v0lppllllp0ll0ll

    • @miko7323
      @miko7323 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Madi Johnson Lppp0p0

    • @firstyfirst
      @firstyfirst 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      200th liker
      Anyway r u still active

  • @alya.mp4
    @alya.mp4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I often come back to this video in my darkest moments

  • @kdoc19961
    @kdoc19961 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    As I listened to him I couldn't help but think about Chadwick Boseman. He lived his life with purpose despite his cancer diagnosis. He didn't let this terrible disease become his identity but continued to inspire and provide a wonderful legacy for his family and fans to cherish.

  • @renetto
    @renetto 10 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I'm wallowing in the beauty of this wonderfully crafted story.

  • @RedValkyries
    @RedValkyries 8 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    He has a very particular and discrete way of using inflections, somewhat strange but not in spite of eloquence and profound lucidity. The book he talks of is "Far From The Tree" very highly recommended, is refreshing as well as powerful, moving and full of wonderful insight.

  • @tertiadixon4064
    @tertiadixon4064 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Andrew Solomon, I salute you for shining your light the way you are. You are one special human. It is such a pleasure to listen to you. Your delivery is poetic and deep, yet easy to digest and shoots straight to the heart. I am totally gripped every time I listen to you. Your children are lucky to have you as their guide. it is such a blessing that TED exists to get important messages such as these out there. Divine in too many ways to describe. Thank you.

  • @tutorshub4u158
    @tutorshub4u158 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Bear injury, bear pain....You will be one of the strongest wall ever built and take awards that can hardly given by any organisations in the world.....great speech and a good man...kudos.

  • @jonathanbriand3446
    @jonathanbriand3446 10 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    ''If you banish the dragons, you banish the heros''
    -Andrew Solomon (I guess)
    That moment in your life when you realise you would change anything so you would not take away that very thing that just change everythings is just so powerfull.

  • @batfly
    @batfly 10 ปีที่แล้ว +88

    "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." - Friedrich Nietzsche

    • @batfly
      @batfly 9 ปีที่แล้ว

    • @fws88
      @fws88 9 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      "Defeating a sandwich, only makes it tastier" - Vegeta

    • @Sin578
      @Sin578 9 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "Kanye"

    • @batfly
      @batfly 8 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Sin578 • Kelly Clarkson, “What Doesn’t Kill You (Stronger)” (2011): “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
      • Ed Sheeran, “Drunk” (2011): “What didn’t kill me/It never made me stronger at all”
      • Melanie C, “Weak” (2011): “Everyone else is saying, what don’t kill you makes you stronger”
      • Papa Roach, “Kick in the Teeth” (2010): “What doesn’t kill me only, will make me stronger in my head”
      • Monica, “Still Standing” (2010): “Whatever don’t kill make you stronger”
      • Blues Traveler, “That Which Doesn’t Kill You” (2006): “That which doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”
      • Vanessa Hudgens, “Promise” (2006): “They say what doesn’t kill you can make you strong”
      • 2Pac, “Only God Can Judge Me” (released 2005): (spoken) “Powers that judge cannot kill me/but only make me stronger”
      • Slipknot, “Pulse of the Maggots” (2004): “What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger”
      • Eve, featuring Teena Marie, “Life Is So Hard” (2001): “Whatever doesn’t kill me makes me strong”
      • Blues Traveler, Opening Credits for Roseanne (1996): “If what doesn’t kill us is making us stronger”
      • Anthrax, “Fueled” (1995): “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”
      • Megadeth, “Skin O’ My Teeth” (1992): “That that doesn’t kill me/Only makes me stronger”
      • Kiss, “Betrayed” (1989): “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
      • Bruce Willis, If It Don’t Kill You, It Just Makes You Stronger (1989) (album title)

    • @batfly
      @batfly 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      That which makes you scream obscenities while kicking cats through field goals makes you stronger.

  • @dannypeixoto8435
    @dannypeixoto8435 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really don't think I can express in words the gratitude that I believe Andrew Solomon deserves. The accuracy in which he expresses the complex mental state he so carefully and dutifully describes, has impacted me since the first time I'd watched his talk and continues to impact me MONTHS after.
    I am writing this because I had spent some time thinking about this TedTalk today, and it seriously brought tears to my eyes. I was profoundly touched. "Forge meaning, build identity.' WHAT A KEEN CHOICE OF WORDS!
    Indeed I am also a student of adversity, and today I was once again humbled by the Earth's magnitude, and it's sheer volume of struggle and hardship. Faced with a great pandemic, these are difficult times. One has to believe that one stands in the midst of history. Faced with my own personal afflictions, I remembered how calmly Andrew Solomon had put it. He quoted Saint Paul, 'Therefore, I take pleasure in infirmities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.' How timely! How relevant! The mind races.
    All came to mind. Many struggle, many suffer, and none of us are alone in it.
    I was relieved I had revisited my pain, that I had remembered Mr.Solomon's words, that I had thought of my fellow human, and that I appreciated the magnitude of the world's pain during these troubling times. I was humbled, and quite honestly, a bit guilty I found myself overflowing with joy and energy. I feel the energy to forge meaning, I feel the drive to build identity. I am once again ready to fight and I am grateful. I am once again ready to live out loud.
    I have come to appreciate so much, I am overwhelmed. I strive to do my part now, 'trounce hatred and expand everyone's lives'.
    I sincerely express my appreciation to Andrew Solomon. For your kind words, I will forever be in your debt.
    Thank you for being a wonderful thinker, and thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with all of us.

  • @almaguerluis5522
    @almaguerluis5522 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The best Ted talk I have ever listened to!

  • @ZOA360
    @ZOA360 10 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    I saw his last TEDtalks and always impressed by his talks, I've met people who wrote with such grace and poetry, but to hear someone speak it for more than 20 minutes is a true feat ~

  • @CathyChester
    @CathyChester 8 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    This completely moved me. Thank you Andrew Solomon, for making a difference in my life with your video. I will forge meaning, and build identity.

  • @orange3547
    @orange3547 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Beautiful soul for humanity.

  • @kimberlysmith1282
    @kimberlysmith1282 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    To have nothing in common with this speaker I somehow feel a personal connection with him. I love Ted Talks and I can honestly say his Talk is by far my favorite. Thank you, sir. I wrote down several things you said because it was so honest and relevant to me and I know in the future as I go back and revisit your words of wisdom I will be as inspired as when I heard it now for the first time. And as a overweight child I believe with my whole heart you would have been my friend then...

    • @flawless_undergoer
      @flawless_undergoer ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You lucky ,lucky woman ....you have only this flaw ,your overweightness ...what to say then all those millions of humans who are stricken by some deadly kind of cancer and are dying like animals from a so keenly hurtful death in which there is no meaning at all...

  • @ambermarquis1218
    @ambermarquis1218 9 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Andrew Solomon is simply incredible.

  • @vlacroix
    @vlacroix 9 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Tears were welling up by the end. This was so powerful.

  • @101crazysam
    @101crazysam 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Andrew, how lucky your son is to have such an incredible, compassionate and insightful father like you. He will be a great man someday and will forge his own meaning in this world, carrying all the precious lessons you have taught him in life, just like the one you taught me today. Thank you.

  • @sinabayat3654
    @sinabayat3654 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Andrew manages to bring tears to my eyes everytime

  • @GODHEPME
    @GODHEPME 10 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Those eyes.

  • @MyDennis333
    @MyDennis333 8 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    What a truly stunning person you are, Andrew Solomon!! I was so happy after I watched this, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!

  • @alia.saadatmand36
    @alia.saadatmand36 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I just hope that someday the world would be full of people like this man.

  • @gabrielincognito8855
    @gabrielincognito8855 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    If you want to destroy homophobia... This is how you do it! What a presence this man is!

    • @metsot
      @metsot 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He would silence the haters.

  • @RalphDratman
    @RalphDratman 10 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    This is probably the best TED talk I've seen.

  • @ALHat22
    @ALHat22 7 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Shared an existential moment brilliantly. Hats off to you sir.

  • @gungorxxx1239
    @gungorxxx1239 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    For me, one of the most brilliant speeches of all time.
    It touches me very much. Even though I am not gay.
    I always have goosebumps and tears.
    His struggles, I can understand very well.
    I also had a very hard time behind me. Thank God I survived it. They made me the person I am today. I am very happy about that. Even though I would have liked my past to have been more beautiful, more loving.

  • @esmiley3
    @esmiley3 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Man, I would be your friend. Thank you for an awesome message.

  • @jessicafielding8643
    @jessicafielding8643 8 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    this resonates very powerfully with me

    • @mprickles
      @mprickles 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +Jessica Poggi me too :)

  • @sharibosch6401
    @sharibosch6401 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Wow.. what an amazing, confident speaker.

  • @ellielindsey7454
    @ellielindsey7454 6 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Every so often I have to revisit Mr. Solomon's talks to remind myself what eloquence, poignancy, and sincerity look like.

    • @TunTheOfficial
      @TunTheOfficial 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ellie Lindsey Same here 💝

  • @amyc.513
    @amyc.513 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am completely in awe of how conscious and enlightened this man is. He has changed my life.

  • @kellyshelton1096
    @kellyshelton1096 10 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    "Daddy, if you were little, I'd be your friend." Where are my tissues???

  • @dariosokcevic4202
    @dariosokcevic4202 8 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Wow , one of the best speakers i've heard .

  • @orlendatube
    @orlendatube 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    When you have experienced deep suffering, little things can suddenly make you incredibly happy. A hug, a perfect slice of pie, getting into a comfortable position with less pain than is typical-all these things can make a person deeply grateful, even euphoric. Learning to appreciate the little things can greatly improve one's quality of life, and is something anyone can do if they try. When you go to bed at night, go over in your head all the little things that happened that day (this can have the added benefit of stopping racing thoughts!).

  • @michaelpondo6324
    @michaelpondo6324 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I believe that lack of ability to experience. Joy on any level is the definition of. Clinical depression. I see. Joy through the eyes of others experiencing joy is as close to. Joy as i get. But after 5o years of questioning life. I accept this and i m grateful.

  • @KING-ol4ib
    @KING-ol4ib 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    this is so deep.. thanks for helping me talk myself out of suicide multiple times..

  • @r0zesefid
    @r0zesefid 10 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    as a Muslim, I can relate to this so much... being hated and bullied so much almost every where I go. Getting those stares n frowns from ppl. It's tough.
    And I am sorry, as a practicing Muslim woman, that gay ppl are treated that way in so many places in the world. Who are we to judge? don't we have our own faults to work on and to improve? What gives us the right to judge if others are pure or not? :|
    Peace

    • @dondressel452
      @dondressel452 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s sad that people are so judgmental and prejudice
      I’m sorry you have gone through that
      Peace to you also

  • @elimidd6626
    @elimidd6626 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    The rough patches I went through have made me a stronger person, and if someone gave me the chance to go back and make them never happen I wouldnt do it, I learned to identify toxic traits in people close to me and cut them off, I learned to stand up for myself, I learned a lot and I never want to forget that pain, not because I'm angry at the people and events that caused it but because that pain made stronger, I wouldnt be who I am today if I hadn't gone through it

  • @kateredington2171
    @kateredington2171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Gosh that made me cry, how uplifting.

  • @NN-fw5yg
    @NN-fw5yg 7 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I love this glorious human being! He inspires me the way nobody has ever done in my life. I am 32 and have had a pretty tough life since I was a child. All my life I tried to 'find' meaning of all this suffering and find hope for keep induring a little more cause people always told me it was the only way to 'find happiness' one day. Who knew the suffering itself and as the result this beautiful, imperfect, from time to time depressive person who wasn't even aware of how 'happy' she was til this exact moment was the meaning of life all along. Thank you!

  • @SpiritofSix
    @SpiritofSix 10 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Great talk. The world and the living things within it are not separate entities--a better way of looking at it is that what you get out of life and existence is the type of perspective and relationship that is forged between yourself and reality.
    This is precisely the thing that I try to get people to realize, by talking about philosophy and other issues in society. It's high time we realize that the problems of the world are not as disconnected as we had believed, that since they all stem from the human condition they are all actually related to some degree. Give me the chance, I will not let you down. That is all.
    Good day to everyone :) May we never stop progressing.

  • @owendureke5148
    @owendureke5148 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Mr. Andrew Solomon. My inspiration and empowerment.

  • @nicolaimarquez3055
    @nicolaimarquez3055 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is the best TED talk I've ever heard. Simply beautiful. And what a powerful message

  • @Butterworthy
    @Butterworthy 10 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    Very powerful talk. I definitely empathize with him as this one hits close to home.

    • @rshepherd80
      @rshepherd80 10 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      If what he stated is true I have much respect for this man

    • @thunderpooch
      @thunderpooch 10 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I empathize with him as well. However, I would have loved this twist near the end of the speech: "I tracked down all my classmates and beat them within an inch of their miserable lives. So in conclusion, suffering sucks and looking at it in a new light helps a little, but revenge is still the sweetest."

  • @marthastokeworth9956
    @marthastokeworth9956 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I really thought I was gonna start crying... I was bullied in middle school for being an ugly nerd in a lousy financial situation... Therefore this is exactly the message I have for the kids I know that are currently in a similar situation! We cannot change the past, but we can use the experience, and try to make a better world, day by day, person by person!

  • @phishfullofasha
    @phishfullofasha 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have warched this three times in my life so far. Every time I cried at "If I were little, I'd be your friend."

  • @mellowe7401
    @mellowe7401 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Beautiful, beautiful. This speech moved me to tears.
    What a beautiful man.
    Spoken so eloquently.
    With grace and insight.
    Thank you.

  • @drmedwuast
    @drmedwuast 7 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    I never thought about forging meaning, I just assumed I had to find it.
    This is a totally different way of looking at it, and it might change a lot of things in my life.
    Thank you!

    • @drmedwuast
      @drmedwuast 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      also, most heteros aren't half the man he is.

    • @thisguy8916
      @thisguy8916 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hence: Life is What you make it. So seemingly trite that it's ignored out of hand; it is the essence of your life.. what you decide it to be. Same as Dr. Phil's way of saying the same thing: There's no good news or bad news; there's just news. You decide what meaning it has.

  • @georgemaris6157
    @georgemaris6157 10 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can relate to Andrew Solomon's childhood survival. He's amazing and articulate.

  • @anythgofnthg154
    @anythgofnthg154 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    I feel like I have absolutely nothing in common with this guy, but he is a delight to listen to. Forge meaning, build identity. Oppression breeds the power to oppose it. This guy is probably depressed because he is a genius and has few peers.

  • @awkwal
    @awkwal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    " we cannot bare a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain, if we believe that it's purposeful "

  • @chsftball57
    @chsftball57 6 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I can't help but to shed tears listening to this but at the same time feeling overjoyed.

  • @LunaLu-00
    @LunaLu-00 8 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    WoW! This man can explain everything in the best way possible! I hope everybody will understand all this one day ...
    I teared up at the end and i am not ashamed for it! Thank You Andrew S. :)

  • @cesarfuentes881
    @cesarfuentes881 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm crying... SO TRUE!

  • @saraho7713
    @saraho7713 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Bless his heart, that speech was incredible and his smile in the end after the standing ovation made me so happy