What really matters at the end of life | BJ Miller | TED

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2015
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    At the end of our lives, what do we most wish for? For many, it’s simply comfort, respect, love. BJ Miller is a palliative care physician who thinks deeply about how to create a dignified, graceful end of life for his patients. Take the time to savor this moving talk, which asks big questions about how we think on death and honor life.
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ความคิดเห็น • 7K

  • @TheSKINNMAN
    @TheSKINNMAN 6 ปีที่แล้ว +6207

    My biggest thing is loneliness
    I am so tired of being lonely
    I have a construction company I am 62. I work about 6 1/2 days a week as many hours as I can. I hate to come home because no one cares if I am home at all
    I have two great sons. Three great grandsons.
    They live there lives way far away.
    So I have been single fir so many years it’s hard to figure out how many. Can’t find someone to care about. They all seem to have so many problems it’s better to be alone
    So there you go I am alone. I give up.
    I have seen so much and been though so much. Both Dude did my family is gone. I have a few distant cousins. It seem I have given up hope to have a relationship
    Do you know how many times I have heard theses words. Well when you stop looking it will happen.
    I spend my soars time helping people. That seem so help me is a lot of ways. Anyway that’s my story
    God bless you all if you read my post
    Peace

    • @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434
      @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434 6 ปีที่แล้ว +202

      if you seek, you shall find. The opposite can have an unapproachable effect.

    • @TheSKINNMAN
      @TheSKINNMAN 6 ปีที่แล้ว +228

      Andrew
      I hope and pray that I can find someone to spend the rest of my life with

    • @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434
      @FoOtBaLLFrEaK4434 6 ปีที่แล้ว +131

      TheSKINNMAN and so you will. When you do, commit like your life depends on it. Not necessarily in a forceful manner, but in a relentless one.

    • @Newofficegirl
      @Newofficegirl 6 ปีที่แล้ว +543

      Adopting a rescue dog will change your life. Save a dog and it will save you.

    • @A-M-F-A
      @A-M-F-A 6 ปีที่แล้ว +314

      Dear friend. If you can adopt either a cat or a dog. Their love and company will change your life. Wish you the best :)

  • @fokjohnpainkiller
    @fokjohnpainkiller 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4651

    See how essential pauses are in speech? This guy gets it. Massive kudos, totally deserved the standing ovation

    • @fba96
      @fba96 8 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      You're god damn right

    • @BeyondSorrowYYY
      @BeyondSorrowYYY 8 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      +Chris Fokjohn kinda diddnt had the time to watch, but i read your comment so i did anyway. not only a great talk, but also a big lesson on how to give a speech.
      Love from Germany

    • @fokjohnpainkiller
      @fokjohnpainkiller 8 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      BeyondSorrowYYY Good to know someone got to watch this because of me, have a great day sir

    • @alexnguyen4648
      @alexnguyen4648 8 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      agree, who says you have to be up and moving and charismatic to captivate audiences? he does it in such a settle and calm way.

    • @janetewin4819
      @janetewin4819 7 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      He is very charismatic! and good looking and smart! and sensitive!!!!

  • @netsurfer8507
    @netsurfer8507 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +97

    It's truly remarkable how his eyes glisten with emotion while his voice remains steady and unwavering.

    • @DaleMiller-km4fn
      @DaleMiller-km4fn 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.
      Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

  • @heytherebarry
    @heytherebarry 2 ปีที่แล้ว +519

    This Ted talk is the one that has had the most impact on my life, I return every year to rewatch it and remind myself of what really matters.

    • @radulescuandrei6178
      @radulescuandrei6178 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      i showed this to med students in class, they didn‘t really react but nurses/ nursing school found this amazing

    • @kathleenbillock8479
      @kathleenbillock8479 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Avery good idea!!! I will follow suit!!! TY!

    • @jedmisty
      @jedmisty 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Not for me.

  • @Yrhdbsbsddsw
    @Yrhdbsbsddsw 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3205

    his eyes say the real message

    • @kpacuBua
      @kpacuBua 8 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      +harry rudd He's either on drugs or on some strong painkillers. I know the drug sparkle when I see it.

    • @BrandonNZ
      @BrandonNZ 8 ปีที่แล้ว +174

      +kpacuBua I know the troll sparkle when I see it, you sir are twinkling like a disco ball

    • @natural91LC
      @natural91LC 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +harry rudd what message? O.o

    • @Barncore
      @Barncore 8 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      +harry rudd There's some pain behind those eyes

    • @mjoto
      @mjoto 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +harry rudd gay?

  • @jvyu9628
    @jvyu9628 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4540

    His eyes speak of how badly he wants us to understand where he is coming from, and that we, too, will realize the importance of his message. I’m grateful for having the opportunity of watching this today

    • @doloresdrury8018
      @doloresdrury8018 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      I felt the same way about his eyes...

    • @kbgogh7324
      @kbgogh7324 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      eyes as on Rebrandt's portraits!

    • @nathanfarr6265
      @nathanfarr6265 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The way he speaks really reminds me of Christoph Waltz

    • @Feber2001
      @Feber2001 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Me too! Amazing message

    • @priyasharma6980
      @priyasharma6980 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Only those will understand the depth and reality of his speech who have lost their loved ones in hospital...hospitals should become more human centric

  • @ferdawsnaeemi
    @ferdawsnaeemi หลายเดือนก่อน +18

    Not only his words are powerful, his entire being is another thing. The world needs more men like him

    • @DaleMiller-km4fn
      @DaleMiller-km4fn 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.
      Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

  • @sadi6351
    @sadi6351 2 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    "What's most important to people who are closer to death? -Comfort, feeling unburdened and unburdening to those they love; existential peace, and a sense of wonderment and spirituality.", well said!

  • @uma20012
    @uma20012 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2880

    something about his eyes..had its own expression and story.

    • @morpheus909
      @morpheus909 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      I know right

    • @kayfischbach5510
      @kayfischbach5510 7 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      no, thats just a tear layer, thats normal, some people have more in the eye off it, thats what let him look so sad, but that hasnt to do anything with his emotion or story
      PS: my english sucs

    • @mynintendobroke
      @mynintendobroke 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      +Kay Fischbach Having tears in your eyes makes you look sad? Nah, I don't buy it.

    • @lazyidealist
      @lazyidealist 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Take Keanu Reaves for example.

    • @evanprest6224
      @evanprest6224 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      get a room

  • @vairagya108
    @vairagya108 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1142

    His eyes. They indicate wisdom. A wisdom that only comes from having been through a lot of suffering. And also, from having overcome it.

    • @PiseyHean
      @PiseyHean 6 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Just look his eyes :(

    • @eugenianubia
      @eugenianubia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      his eyes are full of pain.

    • @cHaRrOcK
      @cHaRrOcK 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      i don't nook rick... he seems a bit high.

    • @robertbarber7343
      @robertbarber7343 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Pascal-Olivier Premont looks like he smoked weed just before this.

    • @shubhamdahale1995
      @shubhamdahale1995 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah, it's totally true.

  • @butterfly1889
    @butterfly1889 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    He understood the meaning of life :kindness ,compassion and love in all circumstances

    • @DaleMiller-km4fn
      @DaleMiller-km4fn 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.
      Outer space is fake a hoax. The Earth is flat with a dome called the firmament above the dome is water above the water are the heavens. There are fallen angels imprisoned underground by God. Azazel aka Lucifer is at Area 51. He is where all the technology, systems and lies come from. Jesus is returning soon the Rapture is near.

  • @syedjafferimam5789
    @syedjafferimam5789 2 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    "A part of me died early on and that's something we can all say one way or another "
    Thanks for such inspirational talk

    • @trafficjon400
      @trafficjon400 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Temporary for NO MAN Will convince much longer as we need prove of true love that can control for love and not tricks. or wants and wishing wells.

  • @marsray7793
    @marsray7793 8 ปีที่แล้ว +2954

    Is it just me or did anyone else fall in love with this man? lol

    • @buzzweebee8685
      @buzzweebee8685 7 ปีที่แล้ว +80

      haha! TOTALLY! I'll fight you for him.. :)

    • @bookashkin
      @bookashkin 7 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      Sharing is caring :)

    • @mrst0ne495
      @mrst0ne495 7 ปีที่แล้ว +81

      The feelings in those eyes

    • @CindyBellydance
      @CindyBellydance 7 ปีที่แล้ว +43

      Wow! What was not to love about him. :-)

    • @CindyBellydance
      @CindyBellydance 7 ปีที่แล้ว +134

      Gay or straight, it doesn't really matter. He's a beautiful human being.

  • @mr_brown5974
    @mr_brown5974 7 ปีที่แล้ว +322

    "Loss is one thing but regret quiet another"

    • @marian1493
      @marian1493 7 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      because regret does not allow you to deal with loss. to get up. move forward.

    • @Yotrymp
      @Yotrymp 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Potential turns into dead weight.

    • @serenityinside1
      @serenityinside1 6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      well said

    • @charmedprince
      @charmedprince 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      *quite

    • @rossmclaughlin4461
      @rossmclaughlin4461 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      serenityinside1 w

  • @sandrapulsipher1233
    @sandrapulsipher1233 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    "Making Life more Wonderful,
    rather than just less
    Horrible..."

  • @RedFaceeee
    @RedFaceeee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +212

    I’ve seen this in my life. My 3 older brothers died in the last 6 years. They were 27, 28 and 33. They had congenital diseases and I was their primary care giver. We never thought of death, yet we did talk about it’s being. We focused on laughing and thinking of the now. My brothers lived shorts and difficult lives, yet they never frowned. They always thought focused on what little they had and which liberated their souls. They emanated a light form them that attracted everyone towards them.

    • @hydee6018
      @hydee6018 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I am truly sorry for your loss. and I have been there..

    • @saminamariani1510
      @saminamariani1510 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I cannot begin to imagine how difficult this must have been...or how much courage you and your siblings must have had in dealing with this... it is overwhelmingly tragic. My thoughts are with you

    • @cynthiamarston2208
      @cynthiamarston2208 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Oh how hard for you. I lost my brother and sister before their time. I had survivors guilt but at the same time I had a certain courage to go ahead and make selfish choices to live the best I could doing something that was always a thing for me. It required sacrifices. It turned out just fine. Not great or glorious but at least I tried! In their honor that they couldn’t.

    • @sureshvanjani4618
      @sureshvanjani4618 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Losing near ones that too in a short span of time you must have touched the bed of river called SORROW. This leads to LIBERATION from the ‘SELF’.

    • @oladman9058
      @oladman9058 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I cannot even begin to imagine your loss. So heartbreaking. Thanks for the courage to share such a private and monumental story.

  • @jonahzah2698
    @jonahzah2698 3 ปีที่แล้ว +785

    The doctor is effective only when he himself is affected. Only the wounded physician heals.” ― C.G. Jung
    Greetings from Ethiopia

    • @dianepaul9846
      @dianepaul9846 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Beautiful comment. Btw, I love Ethiopia. I lived there for a couple years as a child. Wishing you peace.

    • @tesstefera6334
      @tesstefera6334 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Nice to meet my fellow Ethiopians
      You are right
      Cheers

    • @pikiwiki
      @pikiwiki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Greetings, Ethiopia. How's the weather?

    • @allensandven0
      @allensandven0 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Great quote ,on so many levels

    • @Munsjvc2
      @Munsjvc2 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Oh. I’ve always believed this, but never heard it said so we’ll!

  • @luzbuensuceso2916
    @luzbuensuceso2916 3 ปีที่แล้ว +650

    What he does not say is more powerful than what he says. His eyes, his pause, his being...

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      thank you luz

    • @umaraghavendran1347
      @umaraghavendran1347 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I completely agree
      I can relate to it
      I just love everything about him
      All he said reminded me of the book “ being mortal”.....

    • @user-os1jw1nf4p
      @user-os1jw1nf4p 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      The power of someone being fully present in the moment

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary
      .

  • @JamilaMusayeva
    @JamilaMusayeva 2 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    What a handsome man! He speaks so eloquently 😍

    • @jayoopatwardhan4040
      @jayoopatwardhan4040 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      He is evolved and aware . We are all born that way but stop living really artificiality gets in and we get lost to ourselves .

  • @francoisdavis7254
    @francoisdavis7254 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I can literally feel his deeper pain internal suffering by just looking in his eyes....I just want to hug this man

  • @sammyy9223
    @sammyy9223 7 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    His eyes reflect that he has seen and gone through many many things on his life.

    • @lolarushartland9411
      @lolarushartland9411 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Mr Tech Dude Haha - TECH dude indeed ! What his eyes reflect is absolutely nothing to do with 'watery' or not - try a little less TECH and feel into what we mean here?

    • @GiaielPace
      @GiaielPace 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Of course he has been through a lot! He’s been through terrible shocking experience obviously.

    • @joecermak7649
      @joecermak7649 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Gio Biocampo too soon

    • @HybridSol1221
      @HybridSol1221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@GiaielPace not cool

  • @zeromailss
    @zeromailss 8 ปีที่แล้ว +210

    it made me feel peaceful for some reason

    • @satyajitsinhkosamiya6822
      @satyajitsinhkosamiya6822 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      cause he was breathing fully...

    • @ambrishjaiswal1286
      @ambrishjaiswal1286 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hi, please watch Dr. Aubrey De Grey TED.

    • @ambrishjaiswal1286
      @ambrishjaiswal1286 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      satyajitsinh kosamiya Please watch Dr. Aubrey DE GREY'S videos. He has entire biotechnological intervention to beat aging within the next 25 years. And he is dead serious about his work.

    • @bookashkin
      @bookashkin 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Somebody, anybody, please tell the good doctor that I won't last another quarter of century :)

    • @shanicecodner7138
      @shanicecodner7138 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      +moderndudeman
      The pun intended ? 😁

  • @kenishabyrd
    @kenishabyrd 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I've had this saved for some time now. Today... I listened. I watched. And I heard him!
    What a testament of life in its fullness.

  • @mahamamir9892
    @mahamamir9892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +726

    What a beautiful message, conveyed more beautifully. I couldn't stop 'feeling' what he was saying. His every word was filled with empathy, wisdom, and a hidden, accepted pain behind that smile. May God bless his soul and strengthen him more.

    • @Harlem55
      @Harlem55 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You smoke too much weed.

    • @AlphaGeekgirl
      @AlphaGeekgirl 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@Harlem55 You are not human

    • @mahamamir9892
      @mahamamir9892 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@Harlem55 Hahaah. It would have been funny, but I am Muslim, brother. And I am appalled you couldn't relate to this story.

    • @milmac5052
      @milmac5052 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Which god?, the one who did this to him?

    • @electrictroy2010
      @electrictroy2010 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      RELIGIOUS PEOPLE have the same earnest eyes, as they tell you about God or gods. It doesn’t make the belief any less imaginary
      .

  • @XxXpokemonmasterXxX1
    @XxXpokemonmasterXxX1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1407

    His eyes tell an extremely difficult and enjoyable story. ;)

    • @pradeeplama1335
      @pradeeplama1335 8 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Enjoyable? i Don't really think so because no pain is ever enjoyable, whether it's big or small. Inside or out.

    • @daykbd
      @daykbd 8 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      +Jake Tamang he meant the way he told it. It was enjoyable. Obviously the pain isn't enjoyable. Nobody would say a pain is enjoyable

    • @andy4an
      @andy4an 8 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      +Aviri Char indeed.
      "turning anguish into a flower" - BJ Miller
      much of the greatest joy in my life has a root in pain.
      That certainly doesn't mean I want pain, or wish it on anyone of course.

    • @pradeeplama1335
      @pradeeplama1335 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Well guys, those are the facts that made me love ted talks even more. Yeah, obviously, the feelings of overcoming the pain is indeed joyful. Peace ! ;)

    • @SexualPotatoes
      @SexualPotatoes 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      +saleh al-humaid Why are you winking

  • @Ryan-jx4vh
    @Ryan-jx4vh 8 ปีที่แล้ว +603

    This guy speaks like an author... very articulate and descriptive. Great talk!!

    • @moffig1
      @moffig1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Love listening to him

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks Ryan!

  • @031neezy
    @031neezy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    every so often you stumble on something that almost feels like magic. this speech is so much more than the sum of its words, it really is a piece of art.

  • @pedroayllon4293
    @pedroayllon4293 2 ปีที่แล้ว +384

    I had my heart broken and almost did the unimaginable. Listening to your talk made me realize just how beautiful life could still be after a relationship of 7 years has ended.
    Thank you so much

    • @payday3425
      @payday3425 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      It will always be okay, remember there is always a positive ending, always. I know. Create your book and make a amazing ending for people to hear, you will find all the good come to your heart :). - Tiaggo

    • @merrybluegirl8930
      @merrybluegirl8930 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I'm so sorry you've had that happen to you. It takes some time when our world is flipped upside down to find our footing again and even longer before we can feel happiness again. But from experience, I tell you, although it may not seem like it now, life always has something better in store for us. Live for that day. Just wade through the weeds until that happens. Know that you are NOT ALONE. I'm so happy this message helped you tremendously. Sending out love to you in the universe. May peace and a newfound desire to find out what's around the corner meet you right where you are.🌻

    • @lrhcconrad2230
      @lrhcconrad2230 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I'm in the same boat . It feels like it's sinking . Almost 30 years invested and now everything is gone . I can't seem to shake it . I will though ,someday .
      Honestly life is horrible ,today and yesterday . I'm surviving for tomorrow
      Eternally through my Lord Jesus Christ .

    • @a.h.991
      @a.h.991 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am with you on this. Stay strong.

    • @mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454
      @mattgoodmangoodmanlawnmowi2454 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Pedro I was in my mid 40s. 3 divorces. Two once good relationships ended badly. Ready to do the unthinkable. A voice inside told me to wait, my life would change in ways that I could not imagine. That same voice had once saved my life. So I tried. Mostly out of curiosity. Decided if I couldn’t have what I wanted I would rather be alone. Three months later, over thirty years ago, I met the true love of my life & we have a great son. I had to change my attitude and only then was I ready for what came next. Be patient & be accepting that you might not find what you want. Then perhaps the conditions will be right for a new as yet unknown phase in your life. It was for me.

  • @ThePyro3525
    @ThePyro3525 8 ปีที่แล้ว +630

    It's presentations like these that make me love TED

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      +BaeJ The 6 God Better than female under-privilege, any day!

    • @ThePyro3525
      @ThePyro3525 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      +Ron maest now I wouldn't go that far for the sake of keeping my head attached to my body, but this talk is more universal.

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      BaeJ The 6 God
      It's because of that type of cowardice that feminists have the sway they have. Remember that. Relax, they can't put a finger on you, it's against the law. Now, I assume there it's only because we're all equal, of course...

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      Aviri Char
      Everyone...this ^ is a mangina. Thank you.

    • @ronmaest
      @ronmaest 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aviri Char
      AAAHAhAhAHAHAHHA! XD

  • @melonusk6120
    @melonusk6120 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4145

    this man is holding back a river

    • @stormyreeves8560
      @stormyreeves8560 4 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      Hes lonely inside

    • @Dr4noz
      @Dr4noz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      What does "holding back a river" mean? I tried to grasp the meaning out of the context but I couldn't. So it would be great if you elaborate. Thank you.

    • @Yolduranduran
      @Yolduranduran 4 ปีที่แล้ว +148

      Life is not all fun and games. It involves a lot of suffering. You just cannot avoid it.

    • @Yolduranduran
      @Yolduranduran 4 ปีที่แล้ว +197

      My dad has dementia. I feel so good when I can see in his eyes that he recognizes me. I love touching him, kissing him, comforting him. It's like he's a little boy all over again. He was a super tough scary man , now he is a lovable little boy. I thank God for allowing us to have this relationship we now have. Praise God.

    • @Dr4noz
      @Dr4noz 4 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      @@Yolduranduran Thank you.. Yeah, I can see it. It's apparent from his eyes.

  • @rodrigogarces2254
    @rodrigogarces2254 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I read sadness deep in his eyes, but he is strong & powerful. Glory to him !

  • @nilotpalbharti3437
    @nilotpalbharti3437 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Imagining a world where everyone spoke like him.

  • @palatrass
    @palatrass 4 ปีที่แล้ว +316

    "Let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination"

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I'm happy to know this sentence resonated with you! Thanks for highlighting it.

    • @palatrass
      @palatrass 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@BJMillerMD Thank You for such an inspiring and insightful presentation and also openly sharing your work experiences with everyone of us.
      Keep going and know that have you influenced millions of lives. You are Great!

  • @zahidraza1902
    @zahidraza1902 3 ปีที่แล้ว +428

    His eyes say so much about himself....I couldn't listen to him much because his eyes are louder than his voice. Suddenly my life's problem seemed so small.

    • @TM-pj7yu
      @TM-pj7yu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      creepy

    • @WinningFace
      @WinningFace 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@TM-pj7yu how was this creepy? Enlighten me 😒

    • @lensafransa2630
      @lensafransa2630 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      exactly for me too :")

    • @seanjapsenferrors3978
      @seanjapsenferrors3978 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      It greatly struck me, 'It was really nothing'

    • @givdb5513
      @givdb5513 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The same

  • @JayJay-kp1sn
    @JayJay-kp1sn 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    we should celebrate only this kind of people with a mission, a vision and thoughts of value which their share and not hollywoodies and tiktokers

  • @cindy-camal
    @cindy-camal 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’m here because my husband just entered hospice care in the nursing home. Vietnam vet. Most difficult time for me ever! This man is an angel!❤

  • @samaddadahine9412
    @samaddadahine9412 8 ปีที่แล้ว +341

    Damn, this wasn't a talk. This was a performance!

  • @siyaa3354
    @siyaa3354 3 ปีที่แล้ว +423

    Is it just me who loves his pause and intonation? Overall his voice and expression?

  • @colleenhall3763
    @colleenhall3763 2 ปีที่แล้ว +91

    This man challenges me on so many levels. I find myself watching this every few months, to ground me, my fears and anxieties. So thankful for him.

    • @jagmeetsingh01
      @jagmeetsingh01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wishing you strength and peace, Colleen Hall :)

  • @mjtr1970
    @mjtr1970 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    He spoke from his heart and first hand experience, not something learned through books....world need such people speak often....love him

  • @77JMW
    @77JMW 6 ปีที่แล้ว +370

    That was like one of the great philosophers giving a Ted talk. He understands things at a very high level.

    • @barrymiller7771
      @barrymiller7771 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Simply brilliant. I wrote down 10 lessons for life that I will care with me in my wheel chair.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you!

    • @johnhaoandfriends302
      @johnhaoandfriends302 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🥰

  • @senior1110
    @senior1110 7 ปีที่แล้ว +720

    An unusually elegant talk, especially about death.
    God bless this man and all his patients.

    • @nicolainjumsenrregaard7228
      @nicolainjumsenrregaard7228 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The god who gave him missing legs in the first place.. lul

    • @viceliag3916
      @viceliag3916 7 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Not the time.

    • @annaanderson7042
      @annaanderson7042 7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      GOD, not "god".

    • @annaanderson7042
      @annaanderson7042 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      And everything happens for a reason. Bad turns into good. The accident gave him a wake up and now he's an exceptional doctor.

    • @armandrodriguez8501
      @armandrodriguez8501 7 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Try actually listening to him before making a jackass of yourself. His legs are missing because of a stupid choice he made as a young man, in much the same way your humanity is missing because you've chosen to reject He who gives life meaning.

  • @purplepatch7
    @purplepatch7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    It's as if the incident when he was in college forced him to see life as it really is and even with the undoubtedly amount of suffering he has endured, he is at peace. It's spectacular.

  • @AlexUSAIndiana
    @AlexUSAIndiana 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I remember when I came home from 1 month in ICU and 1 month in hospital (after my medically induced coma), I came home and I cried when I turned on my faucet with water in my bathroom. It was a miracle to me! I was standing near my sink, with both hands holding my upper weight above the sink and the water just running down the drain so effortlessly and I was sobbing watching how fast that water was coming and going..... Right now I work at the hospital as a PCA (while in school to advance my career in healthcare), yesterday one of my patient told me a Goodbye. He was almost fully sedated and just this past Sunday he was thanking me for taking very good care of him and I even met his lovely family and he introduced me to his family members. I was standing next to his PCU bed and held his hand while he looked at me with one eye open as he stroke my hand with his large tumb... I did not want to let go of his hand.... I went to our hospital's elevators, went up to my unit floor, went into the bathroom and sobbed quietly.

  • @ruthauma4700
    @ruthauma4700 4 ปีที่แล้ว +362

    There are mountains of sorrow that cannot move and one way or another we will all kneel there.
    I felt that

    • @peadog007
      @peadog007 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ruth Auma I love what you said. Where did you get that from? Beautiful!

    • @vaibhavpindikura3841
      @vaibhavpindikura3841 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@peadog007 It was stated in the video.

    • @mdaze9753
      @mdaze9753 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@peadog007 BJ Miller says it @ 17:17

    • @shoneyluvsAmerica
      @shoneyluvsAmerica 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know ! That is just profound and should be etched in stone for posterity.

  • @minusone5162
    @minusone5162 7 ปีที่แล้ว +332

    The good thing about people like him is that they've got nothing to prove. No pretentiousness, just a relentless drive to squeeze all their human potential and share it to the world.

  • @10ON10
    @10ON10 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    *when he mentioned about snowball in hands, I felt him...*

    • @ubayyd
      @ubayyd ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Me too brother.

    • @azita6566
      @azita6566 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I could imagine just like as I've seen it. . .

    • @ManishPrabhune
      @ManishPrabhune 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Spot on

    • @paulryan2128
      @paulryan2128 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Whadaya mean?

  • @briantimbal8711
    @briantimbal8711 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The sincerity in his eyes says a lot

  • @InnerResearcher
    @InnerResearcher 5 ปีที่แล้ว +219

    His eyes hold the wisdom of the whole world. Wow....

  • @camilaguzman2543
    @camilaguzman2543 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1275

    I have to say it, He is very handsome!

    • @ashleybyrd2015
      @ashleybyrd2015 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      No, he's BJ Miller.

    • @kendallevans4079
      @kendallevans4079 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No, you didn't "have to say it", you wanted to say it. Did you even listen to anything he said?

    • @camilaguzman2543
      @camilaguzman2543 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@kendallevans4079 calm down, easy tiger. Yes, I did. And, because I did it. I noticed he is indeed very good looking. Breath deeply girl.

    • @kendallevans4079
      @kendallevans4079 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@camilaguzman2543 You are very shallow, to bad for you.

    • @camilaguzman2543
      @camilaguzman2543 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@kendallevans4079 I am not. ❤️

  • @sachinagarwal3469
    @sachinagarwal3469 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    I saw this TED talk and it reminds me of Guest Houses in Varanasi, India where people anticipating death come to reside.
    The managers of these guest houses have very intriguing, intricate and interesting accounts of what people want at the end of their lives.

  • @nandaacademy
    @nandaacademy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Dr. Miller, you inspire me! The way you talked, the command you had over your voice was beyond words can describe. It was an honor listening to you!

  • @loverlei79
    @loverlei79 8 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    I still remember the first dog I saw after living in the hospital for a year. he wasn't even a rehab dog. just someone's pet. I cried and cried. I never thought I'd see a dog again.

  • @BITTME1030
    @BITTME1030 5 ปีที่แล้ว +338

    Now 36y of age; brought into this world by schizophrenic mother, taken away from her because she abused me (found out recently that someone saved my life by bringing me into the hospital) placed into orphanage, there after transferred into another in Russia. Finally being adopted at 10 years of age by an America mother who mentally and physically abused me until I moved out @ 18. I feel blessed to have gone through my journey to understand and appreciate life for what it is today. I made peace with all my horrors and view my life/world from a beautiful point of view. One day I hope to accomplish something bigger than myself, this will be my biggest dream come true. Life can be a beautiful, heaven on 🌎, all depends on how you look at it, with your ❤️ and mind. May each one of you enjoy your journey. Thank you TED for continued inspiration.

    • @violator2695
      @violator2695 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      All the best on your journey

    • @SM-rz9du
      @SM-rz9du 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      God bless you!

    • @sangellaferro
      @sangellaferro 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      My life changed dramatically when I was hired to work for Hospice ... back when it was truly hospice & not just a service provided for an unknown patient ... refered one day before death. After 3 years of providing old school hospice care, I couldn't revert back to standardized managed care protocols & be part of the healthcare delivery system in place today. I've helped in a private capacity, and often teach by doing ... it's right livelihood for me. I wish the world ran on the hospice system. I'm grateful to have worked during the "Camelot Days" ... and apply the philosophy whenever & wherever possible. Quality care of human beings should be a priority, but money always trumps.

    • @mullerierabe-taljaard4867
      @mullerierabe-taljaard4867 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Oksana Camaret You have already contributed ....the “you” you are today are more than enough to enrich this planet we all share, by your experience of our humanity. Thank you.

    • @jon7708
      @jon7708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Your story gives hope to those whom life is filled with suffering, and your journey led you to where you are today!!! I’m amazed by people circumstances and how you persevered through that, bless your heart!!!

  • @xbergerin
    @xbergerin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    What a beautiful talk. I was expecting something different, something more normative, behavior-oriented maybe. And I am blown away by the simplicity and depth of his message: that being connected with the world through our body, through our senses, can be the key to a meaningful life and death. For me that's very true. Really thankful for Ted Talks like this..

  • @honeycubey3120
    @honeycubey3120 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    He's so in tune with himself. A really beautiful talk. I can feel the purity of his soul.♥️

    • @Juxtapose76
      @Juxtapose76 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for sharing.💖💯

  • @duartedasilva7171
    @duartedasilva7171 3 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    “There are mountains of sorrows that cannot move; and one way of another, we’ll all kneel there.”

  • @thomasj5722
    @thomasj5722 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1027

    I broke my back for 14 years ago, and now i live in constant agonizing pain and can hardly sit down or do anything. Your view of the world change when that happens to you, i don´t have much friends anymore but i appreciate even the smalles little thing i see every day now and i appreciate so much when i spend time with people, i try to find the good in anything

    • @fortheloveofdog5622
      @fortheloveofdog5622 4 ปีที่แล้ว +53

      Don't know why - I just said a prayer for you - wish you had less pain, or no pain

    • @HarshilSarvakar
      @HarshilSarvakar 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      sorry for your loss. brother. may universe help you.

    • @tatianagrosch7535
      @tatianagrosch7535 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Sending love

    • @agnesbajka6784
      @agnesbajka6784 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Thomas if you are lonely send me a message.. I am happy to talk to you. @inesbajka

    • @amazingyear9042
      @amazingyear9042 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You are a wonderful person❣️

  • @KD-sz5bx
    @KD-sz5bx 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Watched this for one of my Psych courses. This put tears in my eyes. The way he spoke, the usage of vocabulary, the utter genius of his presence and the way he evoked the entire room. This was by far the best Ted talk I've came across and everything he said made sense in my own personal understandings. Thank you, thank you, and thank you.

  • @BingoBilingual
    @BingoBilingual 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    "Learn to live well not in spite of death, but because of it." Words of wisdom! Thank you! Moved to tears so many times listening to this great speech.

  • @MrAkosFintor
    @MrAkosFintor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +708

    This Ted talk sounded and felt like a poem. A beautiful one!

  • @roselaguerre4920
    @roselaguerre4920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1875

    Sir, you spoke with unfettered eloquence, boldness, and poise about a very difficult subject- dying. And you did so with so much grace and empathy. It was brilliant. Thank you.

    • @chandrepinto9316
      @chandrepinto9316 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Agreed

    • @normanbates569
      @normanbates569 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nonsense.

    • @sharon21382
      @sharon21382 2 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @@normanbates569 *Stop.*

    • @DR-nh6oo
      @DR-nh6oo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Norman Bates You are showing your projection my friend.

    • @debbiehorn8263
      @debbiehorn8263 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Loved This , Dr. Miller is so good at what is true and so knowing . I believe every thing he said was from his heart and not on a piece of paper , Amazing !

  • @skyzthalimit09
    @skyzthalimit09 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    As a childhood patient now an adult caregiver and advocate. This is such a meaningful message with questions about living well while living with illness.

  • @mellowe7401
    @mellowe7401 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    Beautiful. If only more physicians could be as empathetic as this man.
    Yes his eyes speak volumes. Ones of grief, pain, compassion and care.
    Thank you for this wonderful talk.
    Giving hope onto a subject that can seem so hopeless 💜💜.

  • @kellyheard971
    @kellyheard971 3 ปีที่แล้ว +133

    For some reason, I cannot find the quote, but this speaker reminds me of it. " through the things that I have suffered, I have learned to ease the suffering of others".

  • @reneet5858
    @reneet5858 2 ปีที่แล้ว +315

    Thank you. Thank you so very much. My late Husband and I could only get 3 out of our 6 kids to understand his decision to return home, and LIVE whatever time he had left. He was such a good man, so gentle, a mountain of a man, hands so calloused from years of blue collar work, which he never complained about, instead always left work at the door when he got home. He was a Vietnam Vet. He had PTSD. He was a fantastic Papa to 18 Grandchildren. He was also poisoned by Agent Orange. He went through two rounds of what they told us were the harshest Chemo treatments around. They gave him an 8% chance to get to Stem Cell Transplant. He took 2 rounds of Chemo, and we knew at the end of the 2nd one, that all of his major organs were damaged. He made the choice to live out what time he was given here at home, he wished to die here at home. He wanted only to be with me, our dogs, and see the kids & Grandkids as much as he could. What they told us would be 6-8 weeks turned out to be 8 months. We even went on a trip to Colorado for 10 days. If Death can be " Good" ?, he had a " Good Death". He was only Bedbound for 4 days, at the very end of his life. He knew me, and was coherent until 36 hours before he died. He looked at me 48 hours before he died, and said " It's going to happen very soon". His biggest concern? " I don't want to leave you".
    My point is this: We all start dying the day we are born. Death has been made to be enemy even in our old age, and many times the Medical people feel everything must be done to avoid it. What is MOST important, is how we LIVE, even when we are actively dying. After his death our other 3 kids finally understood this, through watching their Dad LIVE, while he was dying. Those 3 are all in various Medical fields.
    I have been by myself ( the kids scattered from Alaska and Tacoma to various parts of the South and here in Kansas) for1.5 years now. I've really struggled with his death. I know they say it takes time to heal. I think...I can only make room, and carry him with me forward, because to ask me to just " get over" this just isn't going to happen.
    Again, Thank You for spreading awareness about the possibility of having a " Good Death". It is so needed. And with the Baby Boomers aging in great numbers, it is vital to get this information out to others.

    • @jagmeetsingh01
      @jagmeetsingh01 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thank you for sharing this :) provides another dimension to his talk. I wish you all the best!

    • @ishughimire9994
      @ishughimire9994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      ❤️

    • @anaassis7800
      @anaassis7800 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      This comment made me tear up. So often we think we know all there is to know in life by the time you've become an adult, and yet I find myself learning that new phases of life bring new knowledge and experiences I did not know I needed to actually understand the realms of life and death. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope time has brought you peace

    • @debuhrich4851
      @debuhrich4851 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you for sharing this with me.

    • @neildmedia
      @neildmedia ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thank you for your post. It really adds value to the talk itself.

  • @ambition112
    @ambition112 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    0:00: 💡 The healthcare system is designed around disease, not people, and needs to be reimagined to improve end-of-life care.
    6:02: 💡 The speaker discusses the importance of palliative care and changing perspectives in end-of-life care.
    11:02: ❄ Finding beauty in the smallest things can bring comfort and joy, even in the face of death.
    15:33: 🎉 The speaker discusses the importance of living a fulfilling life and finding joy in the face of death.
    Recap by Tammy AI

    • @theanonymous111
      @theanonymous111 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Who js this Tammy AI. I see him evwryhwere

  • @constructenglish1
    @constructenglish1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Beautiful person, inside and out.

  • @christinetemblique1016
    @christinetemblique1016 2 ปีที่แล้ว +725

    His empathy is profound because he experienced near death & recovering his life. His talk is so touching.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      thanks Christine!

    • @dwaynejones1555
      @dwaynejones1555 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Christine Definitely

    • @Geneattenborough
      @Geneattenborough 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      His accident gave as much as it took…

    • @dawapeljor8945
      @dawapeljor8945 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Even I experienced the death at my workplace at might night alone twice

    • @roshnik5137
      @roshnik5137 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Empathetic people suffer a lot in this world.

  • @Stopwars0809
    @Stopwars0809 8 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    'let death be what takes us, not lack of imagination.' You sir, deserved that standing ovation!

  • @warrencanonigo
    @warrencanonigo ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Things that matter needs to be prioritized.

  • @anjurkrishnan7831
    @anjurkrishnan7831 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    He is an enlightened soul, look at his eyes... the compassion, empathy etc are clearly seen... a great orator....surprisingly I felt refreshed after listening to him. Keep up the good work and all the best.

  • @malcolmfigueiredo7018
    @malcolmfigueiredo7018 3 ปีที่แล้ว +491

    Why does it feel like he is holding back his tears. His eyes are moist and you can tell he wants to cry. I wish we could all give him a big HUG to tell him we never noticed his disability all through his talk because he was so georgous in every way.

    • @juliamorales6620
      @juliamorales6620 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      He's the complete package. Beautiful inside and out.

    • @harnooraujla6191
      @harnooraujla6191 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      He wouldn’t want you to not notice his disability

    • @neatstuff8200
      @neatstuff8200 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@juliamorales6620 ]] ppp

    • @user-tq1zl8xu9f
      @user-tq1zl8xu9f 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I think he looks very handsome. legs fit him (not being mean). he wears em well. obviously sad he got them taken away. life happens ( not being insensitive) we all have cray stories.

    • @rosilovdal8745
      @rosilovdal8745 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      He's not crying for himself, but rather for all of us, with hope that we will 'see' what he is saying.

  • @davidjustin4589
    @davidjustin4589 5 ปีที่แล้ว +752

    I didn't think I could watch this all the way through, but I did. I am at or near the end of my journey through life being accompanied by Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. His talk, in a strange way, at least in my mind, gave me some hope that I will accept my death gracefully. At 74 I have lived a decent life but I wish I would have had a little more time, but that wasn't in the cards. Glad I found this vid.

    • @iamessence6268
      @iamessence6268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Listen to the book of 'Tao Te Ching' before you go. I also going through a terminal illness. 💗👍

    • @loveofinquiry8067
      @loveofinquiry8067 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I think I would want more time like you❤️

    • @tientrinh6906
      @tientrinh6906 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I hope you’re still hanging in there. We need good people like you.

    • @junerivera4045
      @junerivera4045 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Remember, this is your crescendo! Live fully

    • @leolee4549
      @leolee4549 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@iamessence6268 Hope you will always have peace in your heart,we will meet up there eventually,Love and Hugsssssssss

  • @momofschnauzers
    @momofschnauzers 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Poignant, eloquent, from-the-heart delivery. His message is one that we ALL need to hear and keep in our hearts as we journey through life to the inevitable time of saying goodbye.

  • @allatones
    @allatones 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Rewatched, AGAIN, and it’s still so poignant and emotional. Thank you for existing and sharing your energy with us. It ripples and we are better for it. :’)

  • @My_Thoughts_On
    @My_Thoughts_On 3 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    “Perspective, that kind of alchemy we humans get to play with, turning anguish into...flowers”.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thanks for commenting!

    • @rpickupbug
      @rpickupbug 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The entire talk was a liquid poem. I was mesmerized by the entire thing.

    • @lrhcconrad2230
      @lrhcconrad2230 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perspective was given us by our maker . alchemy has nothing to do with anything of the natural human mind . Dont be fooled ,if you already have been , there is forgiveness for you and me !

    • @My_Thoughts_On
      @My_Thoughts_On 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lrhcconrad2230 Thanks

    • @lrhcconrad2230
      @lrhcconrad2230 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@My_Thoughts_On 🌹🌺🏵️🌻🌼💮💐❤️🌹

  • @mangobanana2982
    @mangobanana2982 8 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I don't understand why we waste our time during our lives to wait for a perfect moment, when as he describes the things we yearn for, these moments that connect us to this earth are right before us. We do not have to wait until death almost upon us. We just need to take a step back from our busy lives and understand the beauty of each day and living moment

  • @ayselaysel5253
    @ayselaysel5253 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    His eyes.i really impressed

  • @rubenscarmodejesus2505
    @rubenscarmodejesus2505 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    So inspiring. I've seen this speech over years. Beautifull message!

  • @petestrat07
    @petestrat07 8 ปีที่แล้ว +127

    What an impressive human being. Imagine having a conversation with him?

    • @MrBlisss1
      @MrBlisss1 8 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Lets talk about nothing.inc

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks Pete!

  • @Lets_talk_about_that
    @Lets_talk_about_that 8 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    He's so beautiful. I love how he talks in such a real way.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      thanks Hails

  • @all-caps3927
    @all-caps3927 2 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Too often we see TED talkers share a vision, and us viewers or ‘patients’ look and we wonder “how is their life so perfect?”. The truth it their life isn’t perfect, I really resonated with this talk because you can clearly visualise the price everyone has to pay for their mistakes. This guy, even without legs, literally and metaphorically stood up and got his life back together. Just know that when something goes wrong, as it always does! There is always hope.

  • @Disheartened6
    @Disheartened6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I get what he was saying about being in the hospital 🏥 & getting to feel the snowball ❄️ I was stuck in the hospital for a month due to COVID, (pneumonia/respiratory failure) almost died & when I got the opportunity to stand for the first time in PT, I looked out towards the window 🪟 got to see nature & the rain 🌧️ & it was so beautiful. A new appreciation & perspective everything that was around me that I never noticed before🙏❤️

  • @davegoodridge8352
    @davegoodridge8352 8 ปีที่แล้ว +613

    Wonderful talk. I'm just a simple man. I visit my Father at the nursing home, where he is spending his final days. I also volunteer, when I can, at a local animal shelter. I see such longing and loneliness at both places. If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs. Just wondering out loud. Thanks

    • @cormano64
      @cormano64 8 ปีที่แล้ว +50

      +David Goodridge "If I could, somehow, I know that both of those places could meet each other's needs"
      That actually sounds like an idea... there's certainly some logistics to consider, but it never really crossed my mind before this. Good one.

    • @nexisnorthwest6069
      @nexisnorthwest6069 8 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Hello, just a thought. my wife is a life inrichment director at a large senior retirement facility, independent and assisted. She has set up a local pet therapy group and has seen a very posative response. Best of luck to you in moving forward with your ideas.

    • @cormano64
      @cormano64 8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      oNEXISo Northwest
      Got any links online for that? Because this is a word worth spreading.

    • @davegoodridge8352
      @davegoodridge8352 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +cormano64 no it's just an idea, or a wish

    • @waa2a0
      @waa2a0 8 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      +David Goodridge youre a genius

  • @guigondi7671
    @guigondi7671 7 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    I feel like i lack something, perhaps life experience or introspection, to truly comprehend the weight of the words of this man.

    • @giurgindemilan
      @giurgindemilan 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      hold the thought. Carefree or not having major problems aside of work-money-survival-sports etc isn't all that bad for many. Maybe from your comment you wish to understand more.... start giving back, say 10% of your time in volunteering?
      If that is empathy lacking that is another route to dig, yet empathy comes from common experiences and young age generallt gifts you of a smaller amount of them to relate to.

    • @hugoboss9387
      @hugoboss9387 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You lack nothing but his experience will be quite his own expression of the grief and joy he was dealt. Your experience will be differnet and the same. Hope that explains something to you.

    • @jonasdamion1627
      @jonasdamion1627 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      this guy lost 2.5 limbs, works in hospice, and is probably much older than you, so don't worry about it just do what you can do to get more immersed in life every chance you get

    • @patriciarussell5463
      @patriciarussell5463 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      So maybe you should consider yourself one of the Lucky Ones, but then again...

  • @hellokitty9
    @hellokitty9 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    He is a very good communicator.

  • @timm6112
    @timm6112 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yours words reminded me of what it means to just be. Thank for your human warmth.

  • @evanprice5470
    @evanprice5470 3 ปีที่แล้ว +871

    This has to be the most beautifully written ted talk I've ever watched

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      thank you Evan!

    • @evanprice5470
      @evanprice5470 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@BJMillerMD No, thank you!

    • @lionel.messi10
      @lionel.messi10 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@BJMillerMD thankyou ❤️

    • @Olhamo
      @Olhamo 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      yes, I agree. It is diamantine, in the warmest way

    • @carloskleiber8500
      @carloskleiber8500 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sanctimonious sermon

  • @mudit5151
    @mudit5151 8 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    the way he delivered this talk, its beautiful.. just amazing

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 8 ปีที่แล้ว

      made my day.. this thought is wonderful

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'd like to secure a "happy death" pack for myself right away.. maybe that would help me to live without fear..

    • @ikergarcia7794
      @ikergarcia7794 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +mudit gupta Living with fear to death is a fault.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      thank you mudit!

    • @mudit5151
      @mudit5151 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@BJMillerMD subbed to your channel.. thanks for making an account finally

  • @krispa07
    @krispa07 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I feel blessed to be able to watch this gem of a video.

  • @ponchotj1904
    @ponchotj1904 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    One of the best Ted talks I have ever watched! I have listened to it many times, and it always leaves me with a positive feeling. B.J. Miller is a great communicator:)

  • @SexualPotatoes
    @SexualPotatoes 8 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    17:50 "I know some of you are working on this" was so cute

    • @rajeshgupta1055
      @rajeshgupta1055 8 ปีที่แล้ว +46

      MEANWHILE..

    • @blackraptor5325
      @blackraptor5325 8 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      +Nishant Gupta too late, I alady figured it out bro, lol

  • @hippopond1
    @hippopond1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +357

    “Death kills a man, but the idea of death can save him” E.M.Forster. This is a really important TED talk. All disciplines need each other. If we separate them, if we separate techniques from purposes, we lose the meaning of things and of ourselves. Thank you!

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      thank you Iain!

  • @Veraalim
    @Veraalim 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I can feel his soul, from the bottom of my heart.

  • @katfisch7119
    @katfisch7119 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    This man is not “holding back a river” or “lonely inside” as many people are quick to assume. He has accepted his life’s trajectory and is living his life more fully and deeply than most of us ever will, not shying away from any aspects of what it means to be human. To those who want to attribute only suffering and sorrow to him, I say that this is more a reflection of your discomfort with him rather than any discomfort he has with himself

  • @SaffyKaffy
    @SaffyKaffy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +230

    I come back to this video, each time I feel sad/depressed/hopeless.... it reminds me to LIVE again.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I'm glad to read this is helpful, Mona

    • @halcyon_echo42
      @halcyon_echo42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      This is an amazing offering to take the time to truly value and appreciate the life we live, the world we share, and the abilities we have to experience wonder. I am in awe of this man

    • @pedroayllon4293
      @pedroayllon4293 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I do the same after having my heartbroken after a 7 year relationship. When I feel down and lose hope I watch,too.

    • @motiverendesitater6882
      @motiverendesitater6882 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      What really matters at the end of life ? nothing matters......we are just a FLUKE......like worms..many humans take birth and then die........ the big bang was a fluke...the first amoeba was a fluke....everything is a fluke !!! jus dont live a SERIOUS LIFE..or a CARELESS LIFE...just a live a life of acceptance and make sure , you do smart CHOICES IN LIFE...life is nothing but CHOICES !!! cheers !!

    • @p-lit189
      @p-lit189 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mona H.
      I hope you don't mind my advice.
      Whenever you feel sad or depressed, you must keep yourself busy. Just do any healthy habits or activity that can occupies your mind and make you physically tired in the end of the day.
      (Sorry for my english 😅✌️) I hope it would help u.

  • @gordonsmith8923
    @gordonsmith8923 4 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    What a soft spoken gentleman. Deep, reflective, and heartfelt.

    • @BJMillerMD
      @BJMillerMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      thanks Gordon

  • @greenlamp7809
    @greenlamp7809 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you, on behalf of physicians around the world, for reminding us the essence of what we do.

  • @victoriaalgra3675
    @victoriaalgra3675 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    He’s amazing person and so brave.. incredibly heartbreaking ordeal to happen in the days of his youth.. one unknowing innocent decision and that’s it.. losing his limbs caused incredibly unnecessary suffering but he’s a beautiful soul and turned it around for the good of mankind. 🙏🏆