I also wanna add to this list; inconsistency. People who don’t follow through with meeting up, doing what they said and not prioritizing you. Sometimes people are lazy and want convenience. For you to make time for them, for you to meet them at a closer place, etc. you would be surprised how many selfish men I’ve met like that who want you but not willing to put in the work.
We need to be careful with this prioritizing thing. We are adults... you cant come first all the time...... if he makes time for me then thats enough because i have to also make time for me. He isn't my top priority unless im a stay at home wife or something . But he will be the top 4. Me, my child, making money and him (not in any particular order)
@@Tnc874 Yep yep. I agree with what the original post was, too. There's a difference between a man who has you as their 5th thing, but is consistently making time for you (so a phone call, text, once a week dates, etc.) vs. someone who puts you as their 5th, was super into you, then they're not, but then, they sorta are. Dealt with both. Usually the latter wasn't into me enough, or they struggled with executive functioning skills (I can't teach someone this). I do agree with your point about priorities. I think it's unhealthy to demand someone to make you their #1. Interrupting them at work. Asking you to put your kids after them. That's no longer prioritization. That's obsession and controlling. Even in a marriage, I expect my spouse to work, so will I, we grind then go home. Same with kids. We nourish our kids together.
1. Hygiene 2.Talking too much 3.Insensitive humor 4. Making the other person play second fiddle to your cell phone 5. Insecure: refuse compliments 6. No effort to meet the folks 7. God broke it up!
On a first date, with a guy I had a strong interest in, he started the date with a penis joke. I was highly offended. He laughed and I just looked at him. He then said, " That was a joke." I said, "Yes, I know." I had absolutely no reaction. He then proceeded to tell me he thought about it all day and that he thought it was a great way to open a date. This was the beginning of a series of inappropriate conversation topics he brought up. I only dated him once.
🤣welcome to my world. i always have such weird dates as well. I told my second date about having such weird dates, well guess what?he got offended as well. Well darn,my life sucks at this moment
they all just say such a sexistic or violent stuff wich makes me turned off big time, but they just can seem to see that. nobodys perfect though but i really dont take it that far. the guys usually do
As a dental hygienist, you bet I look at the guys oral health! Says a lot a lot about his overall health practices as well. Then, it’s what comes out of that mouth. I’m dating someone who has no back teeth although he seems pretty clean. And at dinner he talks with his mouth full and I can’t understand a word he says. Holy smokes, come on guys. Manners count too!
I wish I knew all this as a teen!!! I wish the church didn't make dating sooo taboo, it really does result in us being so unprepared to navigate the dating world when we're adults. Awesome video!
Education starts at home. It is the responsibility of parents to teach their children about life...the good, bad and ugly. It is the parents responsibility to talk to, lead, guide their children while still in the womb to their child's birth into the world on life from abc's, 1 2 3s and beyond.
True,alot of us tend to not take this point seriously until it is out of control! Also when you don't like a man mom that is sometimes a sign that she is hateful towards you or your relationship! You are probably feeling her negative vibes! Be careful because a man usually takes on his mom's feelings and then mistreats you, and your worth peace and a pleasant life. Leave the drama and trauma outside! Us as black people have to love ourselves enough to be our best at everything we do, especially physical hygiene and self preservation! AMEN 😭🙂❤️🙏
Everyone on this planet needs a Pastor R C Blakes. You not only speak wisdom; credibility of which comes straight from “God’s Word” The Bible. May your gifts be ever delivered to us in the candid, empathetic, sincere, caring, humourous way that acts as a spiritual, motivational and inspiring guide in line with the reality of living a happy, healthy, fruitful blessed life. Thank you. 🙏🏽
* SEVEN THINGS THAT SILENTLY KILL NEW RELATIONSHIPS* What are some of the things that are working against you and another person? What's preventing connection? Your situation begins with almost ideal chemistry, you know this person seems to have everything you want - most of the physical stuff, the spiritual stuff, the intellectual stuff so much hopefulness but then it fizzles out, before it can turn into an actual connection. Sometimes there are issues that manifest before there's enough history to make the other person feel close enough to address the issue. If we don't pay attention to some things in the initial stages of the attraction we can create scenarios with them that puts them in a position where they don’t feel comfortable enough to say well a b and c is an issue for me. They don't feel like they have the right or the leverage to give you feedback. • *The top of the list is hygiene* Most folk do not have people or even family who feel close enough to you to say," You need to take a bath" without feeling like they are overstepping their bounds or embarrassing you to a point. Sometimes people can smell you before they can hear you. If your social hygiene is offensive to a man or woman then one can only *imagine what level of sexual hygiene you must have* ! • *Somebody's talking too much* When a person is sincerely searching for a soul connection they need to be heard. You see there's a rhythm to communication and sometimes we get so excited and we don't mean any harm but nobody's ever told us that we *just talk too much*. A person cannot really learn what they need to know about you unless you stop to allow them to speak and ask questions. Talking too much is a clear sign or may come across as a sign that you are not hearing and therefore are probably not interested in them. When you find yourself over talking and you never allow the other person to ask questions or to have a word, it causes that interest to drop. People are interested in people who are interested in them. Communication is is rhythmic. You talk a little, then you pause and ask,” what's your opinion, what do you think about that?” You can learn nothing about a person while you're talking you have to shut up and listen to really learn about a person. • *Insensitive Humor* So you're trying to be funny but not realizing that your brand of funny is insensitive to the individual. In most cases you don't know the person well enough to make these kinds of jokes and though you may not mean any harm it may do harm because words are triggers. You don't know what that person's history is, you don't know what their tolerance level is for your brand of humor, you don't even know if your brand of humor resonates with them or if it offends them. Sometimes you're trying to create a light moment and you really usher in heaviness when your humor is insensitive therefore when it comes down to relationships don't take liberties to joke and make fun before you know the person and they know you. You go on a date making sexual jokes and then they wonder why the woman walked out of there and got an Uber and left. You're not supposed to take and make sexual jokes as a man and not on a first date with a woman. Don't ever put your date in a group situation and make them the butt of your humor. Insensitive humor diminishes the strength of the connection and it begins to create problems within. • *Making the other person play second fiddle to your cell phone* You are all on a date and eighty percent of the time you're staring into the screen while the other person is trying to get to know and trying to feel your spirit and understand your mind your future and where you're going and all you do is sit there and pop gum and look into the phone constantly pushing buttons. No self-loving person is going to sit and date you and your cell phone at the same time. People are naturally interested in the people who are interested in them. Even as a married couple you sit there in the bed for hours and you're more glued to other people's lives than you are to strengthening your own. • *You’re insecure and self-deprecating* Your perspective of you, the way you can’t receive a compliment, everything you say about yourself is negative, well that's a lot of work that nobody's signing up for and a lot of times because we've not done any inner work on ourselves but try to enter into relationships all broken. People can pick up on the levels and the extent of our brokenness by our conversation especially our conversation about ourselves. If you don't love you it's hard to get others to appreciate your value and nobody, just nobody wants to sign up to do the work to get another person to learn how to love themselves. So here's the rule, do not date until your self-esteem is adequate. Stay home, stay by yourself, go to your therapist, go to church, get you some self-help books. If you have a poor self-view you will rarely connect with healthy people. Toxic people who only want to use you and abuse you would be attracted to you knowing that you're broken. If a fool keeps his mouth closed nobody will know that he's lacking knowledge but when he opens his mouth is when everybody understands what's really going on within • *You're not interested in getting to know the people that are most important to another person* You can’t eliminate a person’s foundation. They have family that they love and who have shaped who they are. They may want to introduce you but you keep avoiding it. You can only do so for so long. They are trying to bring you into a situation where they live around the people they love and you show no interest, it's not good. • *God broke it up* This was a wolf in sheep's clothing and you thought you broke it up. Nope the Lord has better plans for you. Wait on Him
Wow I read all of this and it absolutely makes sense. I went on a date and im not sure whether or not I should continue dating this person. He is very attracted to me as I am to him. We kissed and things almost got out of control afterwards he wanted to have sex , I know we were both leading eachother on and I didn't let it happen. I have a lot of work to do within myself but I always seem to get lonely without a partner. He's saying I have trust issues because when he tells me he's gonna call me back because he's busy I call him before he gets a chance to call me. He has a kid with another woman and doesn't want me to come to his place for dinner because his brother is there. Now I'm thinking he has another woman smh I just met him. Should I just take things slow?
Great video Bishop Blakes! I would add another thing that kills any early relationship is going on non-stop about your ex. I’ve encountered several men that have either been hung up on their past woman they present it like you will never measure up to “her” or they are so angry about an ex, their volatile anger towards her has made me cut the date short and tell the man he needs to sort those feelings out before he considers dating anyone else. I’ve had the thought if they are that violent in their thoughts, I want no part of that.
Sis, you’re correct! I experienced this years ago. I do the same. Ppl don’t have to be perfect but they need to know how important it is to resolve conflicts from their childhood (see a licensed therapist) or past relationships.
Oh I am just half way through watching and I tell you, Pastor RC hits the nail on the head!! That is so so true! Hygiene and listening is very important!
That is so disrespectful to be on cell phone on a date!!!!! That happened to me. That was my Marriage that was very painful RC Blake's! I was like Wow. I was so tear up! I lost my appetite. It's all about Respect
I thank God daily for your wisdom and sharing it with women looking for a God given relationships.. Being a widow now for over 3 years after a 40 year marriage is so brand new for me.. I am so excited about my new life going forward with all the relationship information I am receiving from you..Thank you
No disrespect but If I survive that I never remarry after I just want to experience it one time only it that weird to feel this way just asking for myself
Great insight! These are not just for potential relationships, but great reminders for those who are already married as well. Oftentimes two broken people come together but stay in the relationship despite these things. These poignant reminders can help save the relationship or make it be even stronger. Thank you for such sound, practical, scriptural guidance! 🥰💐
Pastor R.C. Blakes you are speaking truth. Our reflection can be a tough revelation but it’s necessary for healing. Healing is a beautiful thing! It’s like finding a treasure chest of diamonds and gems! Our unique selves are as precious as diamonds and gems. Lord Jesus Jesus broke it up! Thank you Lord Jesus!
Thank you kindly for tactfully addressing hygiene!!!🙌🏾 Many people are unaware of this factor & they remain continuously stagnant in relationships. Also, good etiquette/manners take us a long way in every area of our life. Again, thank you, Pastor Blakes!!!🙌🏾 ✨As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Psalm 27:17✨ Everyone have a blessed day.☺️
Yes in deed iron sharpens iron & men are to chase after the woman while she approves of him also must have some common interests being equally yoke is a key factor. I really embrace the attraction aspect of it all.
I have family that hygiene is off the chain and it's a shame that there personal hygiene is the problem MY God Thank you Pastor for you are so wonderful with the way you Word your advice ❤️
Yes personal hygiene is a must ! I make my hygiene routine fun !!! During my bath time, I place nice scented bath oils in my bath water. I use both antibacterial body wash as well as body wash that tones and moisturize my skin. I soak my body in the nice water first then I bath. Sometimes I just take soak baths just to relax and meditate my soul and mind. It’s my personal time to reflect and relax. Now before I take my baths and while the water is running in tub, I take care of my facial cleansing oral routines. I make that a fun activity too as I love taking care of my body and doing my best to look good and looking young. All I’m working on now is losing some lbs. I can tend to lose about 30 to 40 lbs. 😀
Am loving this Pastor RC Blakes Jr. You are a great teacher. Thank you so so much for these teaching on relationships. Your messages have opened my eyes to things I had no one to truly explain to me in the manner that you have. I pray that God will continue to bless you and Lady Lisa. Love you both.
So many selfish non empathy me. It shocked me when I needed comfort from my now ex this past Mother’s Day. My mom passed on 2019 but Mother’s Day is still hard for me, so I went to him just for comfort-he said he didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know her. Teeth clenched 😬😬😬😬😬🤦🏾♀️ Thank you so much for these teachings, appreciate you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Condolences to you on the loss of your dear sweet mother. I know that pain all to well. I lost my dear sweet mom in 2019 as well. For an individual to not show empathy is a definitely a character flaw especially when it comes to a soul lost.
I'm waiting to hear this one Pastor Blakes. Maybe that will give me some insight as to why my previous relationships ended abruptly. Blessings to you and first lady Lisa Blakes.
Preach!!! We NEED THE TRUTH!!!! God has SAVED ME FROM WOLVES DOGS AND DEVILS!!! What is for you God got you, what you want you make not need. Work on SELF and prayer to the Lord for guidance in ALL MATTERS!!! Thanks again
I’m listening to this video from the perspective of someone looking to enhance their social skills. The points in the video are so valid for a person in a networking scenario.
Hopefully and I really mean it, that people really stop talking and listen to this message. Because of how society has brushed us/women aside, not listening to what we have to say, It’s one of the most disrespectful things a man can do to a woman. We all need to know we’re being heard and what we have to say is important.
So glad he went into depth about hygiene- it can TOTALLY kill a relationship before it ever begins. To go on a date with someone who down not take care with their hygiene is so distracting you can't even focus on getting to know that person- it's also offensive and feels disrespectful. Now instead of getting to know one another, the focus of the date becomes trying to come up with an excuse to end the date early
Good video. Even if you meet someone that seems right for you, it doesn't mean they are going to be that way forever. Right from the start, be honest and communicate who and what you are! We allow communication, but the relationship is up to you! Best of luck to everyone!
Thank God for man like you!! You’re just to say what God what is to hear and I’m grateful for you and I pray that may God keep using you to touch our souls and bring close to HIM. I NEED A DEEP HEALING EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW I NEED BUT I KNOW I NEED 😢
I’m divorcing a man that was a pure narcissist and had very very poor hygiene and wanted to be sexual. Wow! He told me the ladies like it. I told him to go for it! I’m out. Wishing you well. Vet well friends!
I had one that didn't sometimes wash for two weeks at a time going to work,drinking routinely & not bathing 🛁 kept praying TMH got me up outta there....! LAWD I THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 💯EVEN HIS MOUTH WAS STANK....OOH LAWD...SMH
Rev Blake please comment on dating someone who is a widow who you’re dating, has strong interest in you but constantly talks of his wife in present time even after you’ve brought it to their attention. Even states he can’t let go of all the long years of the marriage. The person has grown kids and seems to think by him not referring to his widow wife as being present is okay. Should I stop dating him and move on?
men not using deodorants and keeping afros under their arm pits plus not washing their underwear, women not washing the down under regularly, not changing their bras regularly, keeping wigs for too long, theses are some of the sources of smells and complaints that i get.
So true, I have left relationships because their grooming was not up to par. Including their messy house. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m a very clean woman inside & out. Looking forward to meeting my life partner who mirrors me. 💃🏻🥰🙏🏼❤️
So profound as always. People think that honey moon period don’t last forever. Lol. I want it to last forever. I try to maintain the same standard I started off with and I want the same from my partner. You must turn up fresh every time. Lol. Must make an effort like our first date. If you talk to me in a whisper on our first date. I want the same voice on day 364 lol. People be getting too comfortable too quick. Lol
Your absolutely CORECT, very simple whatever it took to get, or capture her attention, is ALSO what it's going to TAKE to keep it. THIS IS COMMON SENSE, it's easy.
I’m so OCD. I could never be with anyone who does not have good hygiene. Parents are to blame for the hygiene part. I see this with most of my friends with kids. These kids don’t bathe the moment they come from school and some don’t even bathe before they go to bed. They’re not taught to clean after themselves at home. They’re not taught to fix their room once these kids can speak and walk fully some parents don’t implement anything kids are to fend for themselves. Some kids are born with the wisdom to do certain things some kids as they grow say, i was never taught anything as a child. I don’t get it I truly don’t. I taught my friends kids how to do certain things they say. I will always remember you for teaching me this. I know parents want to teach a child to be independent but as a parent you have to teach kids all of it bc some are born with it some are not. And once its too late it just hard to get them to do what should’ve been taught early on.
Sir, you are so in point. Thank you so much for your Godly counsel. Know that you are making a huge difference in the lives of people you will never meet.
Thanks Pastor RC Blakes for this very important well needed valuable lesson. It is so helpful and it is so much truth to this lesson. Most people nowadays don't have any manners and are too selfish to care to have any manners on how they treat people in social gatherings. Too many people are stuck in cyber space media to even care about being down to earth and for real with people to properly interact with others. Well said Pastor RC Blakes.
Great point. It not only deals with his or her physical hygiene but also his or her surrounding. That can definitely be a big turn off especially when you say it and the reception is defensive instead of receptive.
This is one of the best, most powerful lessons I have come across! Thank you so much for sharing your amazing wisdom and knowledge and help transform so many lives!
True . Some folks are not very observant of what triggers an emotional change after some comments. Hence, they say anything and expect you to be happy.
Omg!!! I died laughing on the first one bc I was wondering if you’d bring up Hygiene.. and it’s #1! My bf takes a shower every two days or so and brushes his teeth sometimes, and I keep telling him he smells bad, but he keeps doing it. If he doesn’t straighten up soon, it might be a reason to leave 😣
This really resonates. RC so right, we have to be careful, we just don't know the person. We don't even get to know just what we did wrong, or have another chance which is sad. My mother early with my Dad had to 'correct' him embarrassing her. But at least she could speak up and out. It was a marriage made in heaven. Sometimes, we misjudge people, maybe they were nervous etc. No one is above making mistakes however, and each side can and will offend, perhaps not intending to. Sad where an otherwise great connection got missed.
FYI for my sisters and brothers, it’s also about if the clothes smell good, if they have a sour stench, even the persons car! I am visually impaired and I have a great smell her! In recent months I’ve encountered reeking of weed in the car, sour smell on the clothes and the car. I wasn’t truly interested in the mail anyway so I didn’t have a problem not engaging any longer with them. I just said this just won’t work we’re not on the same page. Again, not everyone can smell like a visually impaired person! Even my female friends have a smells due to the material that they wear from their clothes. Thank you Bishop always incredible and amazing! Love you lady Lisa very very much.
people say I'm too bold, I told this guy I work with who respects my counsel .. I said to him ... permission to offend he said yes. I said when people see you the first thing they say is your smile , I said your girlfriend may have left you because of your teeth I said you have great health insurance so use it. he should me his 1700 tattoo I told him he has to get his priorities in order you shouldn't invest that much for a tattoo and your teeth looks like that. he received it praise God :)
I went grocery shopping with a friend and she walked the isles talking on her phone. I left her, went to the checkout and outside to the car to wait. She spent a long time looking for me and finally called me.
I appreciate this. I knew god wanted me to see it. I thought that when I first seen it. Then I thought of it again and I was like if I see it on my scroll it's meant to be and there you were just a little bit down. And I needed to hear some of this
**** I am going with # 7. When I saw this Man something leaped. He did it for me visually, a rare occurrence. We began to talk and he immediately wanted to SEXT…I am NOT okay with that, but Mostly, He’s a Pastor….It’s difficult, but I MUST be okay in letting go.*** Thank You Bishop for Your Wisdom. Blessings To All.***
So awesome you were helped here. Talk is cheap even at the pulpit….. consider the fruit…. Someone who is in a position of leadership and is doing this….. shows that unfortunately he does not understand the position of shepherding and also how to treat a queen or SEE. 🚩
Number 6🎉 that meeting my “best friend” of the opposite sex is for the birds…I’m sooo glad you mentioned that. I thought I was tripping for a minute. I honestly don’t won’t no parts of that…ijs. Thanks for the teachings ❤
The person was divorced but getting to know him, he still had soul ties to his ex-wife who was a witch warlock. We were getting close and she stopped it our relationship. He broke it off with me
Oh I did this quit looking after my divorce. I had a poor self view now almost 2 years later. Therapy and refunding my self, I feel and think so much better.
Teeth 🪥 🦷 I've gone out with men who smell fresh but their teeth are looking terrible like they haven't been to the dentist in years yet they seem not to even know how bad those teeth look!! Who's gonna want to kiss someone like that?! Gum and mints do not cover bad teeth! Brushing regularly and regular visits to the dentist are extremely necessary for a healthy attractive smile and a fresh mouth ...
U are telling all of us right! I've gone on dates with men who were nice, but their breath was bad! Oral hygiene is just as important as physical hygiene! Ppl who eat unhealthy are a turn off for me, because I'm into healthy eating & exercising! I don't really care to eat in most restaurants because half of the meal is covered in grease! CHRISTIANITY is the most important thing to me, because we must be equally yoked in JESUS!!!
Thank you Bishop for teaching what the Lord put on your heart. Thank for blessing us with this message. The Body of Christ need this message as well as the world.
I also wanna add to this list; inconsistency. People who don’t follow through with meeting up, doing what they said and not prioritizing you. Sometimes people are lazy and want convenience. For you to make time for them, for you to meet them at a closer place, etc. you would be surprised how many selfish men I’ve met like that who want you but not willing to put in the work.
If they are not willing, to put in the work ,then they don't want you BAD enough..PERIOD....
Omg!!! Yes…so true!!!! You hit the nail on the head!!!🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
We need to be careful with this prioritizing thing. We are adults... you cant come first all the time...... if he makes time for me then thats enough because i have to also make time for me. He isn't my top priority unless im a stay at home wife or something . But he will be the top 4. Me, my child, making money and him (not in any particular order)
Very true I agree they want us to literally do all the planning driving ect very selfish nothing runs me off faster than an inconsistent man
@@Tnc874 Yep yep. I agree with what the original post was, too. There's a difference between a man who has you as their 5th thing, but is consistently making time for you (so a phone call, text, once a week dates, etc.) vs. someone who puts you as their 5th, was super into you, then they're not, but then, they sorta are. Dealt with both. Usually the latter wasn't into me enough, or they struggled with executive functioning skills (I can't teach someone this). I do agree with your point about priorities. I think it's unhealthy to demand someone to make you their #1. Interrupting them at work. Asking you to put your kids after them. That's no longer prioritization. That's obsession and controlling. Even in a marriage, I expect my spouse to work, so will I, we grind then go home. Same with kids. We nourish our kids together.
The cutest thing to say ".. I still try to impress my wife. She's not always impressed but I'll be trying.".. 😇A good man talking🤗
Beautiful
1. Hygiene 2.Talking too much 3.Insensitive humor 4. Making the other person play second fiddle to your cell phone 5. Insecure: refuse compliments 6. No effort to meet the folks 7. God broke it up!
Mmm number 4 though
thnkq so much for these points
On a first date, with a guy I had a strong interest in, he started the date with a penis joke. I was highly offended. He laughed and I just looked at him. He then said, " That was a joke." I said, "Yes, I know." I had absolutely no reaction. He then proceeded to tell me he thought about it all day and that he thought it was a great way to open a date. This was the beginning of a series of inappropriate conversation topics he brought up. I only dated him once.
🤣welcome to my world. i always have such weird dates as well. I told my second date about having such weird dates, well guess what?he got offended as well. Well darn,my life sucks at this moment
they all just say such a sexistic or violent stuff wich makes me turned off big time, but they just can seem to see that. nobodys perfect though but i really dont take it that far. the guys usually do
Glad you took heed to the warning signs.
What the....a joke about a sex organ? Bruh is hot with lust. Thank God he showed you his true colors before you got in too deep. What a blessing.
Yeah I’ve experienced that a lot now I’ll pay for bill only and take my food to go🙆🏾♀️👋🏾 and blocked him
Facts. Hygiene is a relationship killer, no joke!
100%
No Joke
As a dental hygienist, you bet I look at the guys oral health! Says a lot a lot about his overall health practices as well. Then, it’s what comes out of that mouth. I’m dating someone who has no back teeth although he seems pretty clean. And at dinner he talks with his mouth full and I can’t understand a word he says. Holy smokes, come on guys. Manners count too!
@@wannasmilewellness206 🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
I wish I knew all this as a teen!!! I wish the church didn't make dating sooo taboo, it really does result in us being so unprepared to navigate the dating world when we're adults. Awesome video!
Yes chaperoned Dating in a sense towards marriage.
I agree
I agree....
@@cctia2 No..."chaperoned Dating" is for teenagers, not mature adults.
Education starts at home. It is the responsibility of parents to teach their children about life...the good, bad and ugly. It is the parents responsibility to talk to, lead, guide their children while still in the womb to their child's birth into the world on life from abc's, 1 2 3s and beyond.
Hygiene relates to how you keep you living space too, not just your body!! Positive energy can’t flow through dirt!
True,alot of us tend to not take this point seriously until it is out of control!
Also when you don't like a man mom that is sometimes a sign that she is hateful towards you or your relationship!
You are probably feeling her negative vibes!
Be careful because a man usually takes on his mom's feelings and then mistreats you, and your worth peace and a pleasant life.
Leave the drama and trauma outside!
Us as black people have to love ourselves enough to be our best at everything we do, especially physical hygiene and self preservation!
AMEN 😭🙂❤️🙏
Many times, people know that their words hurt. They think you are too sensitive, but they are veiled insults.
My issue is when a person wants to date you, but don't want me to know anything about them.
“Learn how to say thank you and just be quiet.” I needed that. Thank you!
Everyone on this planet needs a Pastor R C Blakes. You not only speak wisdom; credibility of which comes straight from “God’s Word” The Bible. May your gifts be ever delivered to us in the candid, empathetic, sincere, caring, humourous way that acts as a spiritual, motivational and inspiring guide in line with the reality of living a happy, healthy, fruitful blessed life. Thank you. 🙏🏽
I am Korean so I am unfamiliar with English but, I can hear what he means well because he is talking with easy vocabulary, calmly. It helps me a lot.
Good luck with your learning!
@@evaphillips2102 A kind youtuber, kind fans.. bless you
You koreans gO and marry your own kind, IN YOUR COUNTRY!
He's very good speaker. I'm glad it's helping you too. I love to listen to him.
* SEVEN THINGS THAT SILENTLY KILL NEW RELATIONSHIPS*
What are some of the things that are working against you and another person? What's preventing connection?
Your situation begins with almost ideal chemistry, you know this person seems to have everything you want - most of the physical stuff, the spiritual stuff, the intellectual stuff so much hopefulness but then it fizzles out, before it can turn into an actual connection. Sometimes there are issues that manifest before there's enough history to make the other person feel close enough to address the issue.
If we don't pay attention to some things in the initial stages of the attraction we can create scenarios with them that puts them in a position where they don’t feel comfortable enough to say well a b and c is an issue for me. They don't feel like they have the right or the leverage to give you feedback.
• *The top of the list is hygiene*
Most folk do not have people or even family who feel close enough to you to say," You need to take a bath" without feeling like they are overstepping their bounds or embarrassing you to a point. Sometimes people can smell you before they can hear you. If your social hygiene is offensive to a man or woman then one can only *imagine what level of sexual hygiene you must have* !
• *Somebody's talking too much*
When a person is sincerely searching for a soul connection they need to be heard. You see there's a rhythm to communication and sometimes we get so excited and we don't mean any harm but nobody's ever told us that we *just talk too much*.
A person cannot really learn what they need to know about you unless you stop to allow them to speak and ask questions. Talking too much is a clear sign or may come across as a sign that you are not hearing and therefore are probably not interested in them. When you find yourself over talking and you never allow the other person to ask questions or to have a word, it causes that interest to drop. People are interested in people who are interested in them. Communication is is rhythmic. You talk a little, then you pause and ask,” what's your opinion, what do you think about that?” You can learn nothing about a person while you're talking you have to shut up and listen to really learn about a person.
• *Insensitive Humor*
So you're trying to be funny but not realizing that your brand of funny is insensitive to the individual. In most cases you don't know the person well enough to make these kinds of jokes and though you may not mean any harm it may do harm because words are triggers. You don't know what that person's history is, you don't know what their tolerance level is for your brand of humor, you don't even know if your brand of humor resonates with them or if it offends them. Sometimes you're trying to create a light moment and you really usher in heaviness when your humor is insensitive therefore when it comes down to relationships don't take liberties to joke and make fun before you know the person and they know you.
You go on a date making sexual jokes and then they wonder why the woman walked out of there and got an Uber and left. You're not supposed to take and make sexual jokes as a man and not on a first date with a woman. Don't ever put your date in a group situation and make them the butt of your humor. Insensitive humor diminishes the strength of the connection and it begins to create problems within.
• *Making the other person play second fiddle to your cell phone*
You are all on a date and eighty percent of the time you're staring into the screen while the other person is trying to get to know and trying to feel your spirit and understand your mind your future and where you're going and all you do is sit there and pop gum and look into the phone constantly pushing buttons.
No self-loving person is going to sit and date you and your cell phone at the same time. People are naturally interested in the people who are interested in them. Even as a married couple you sit there in the bed for hours and you're more glued to other people's lives than you are to strengthening your own.
• *You’re insecure and self-deprecating*
Your perspective of you, the way you can’t receive a compliment, everything you say about yourself is negative, well that's a lot of work that nobody's signing up for and a lot of times because we've not done any inner work on ourselves but try to enter into relationships all broken.
People can pick up on the levels and the extent of our brokenness by our conversation especially our conversation about ourselves. If you don't love you it's hard to get others to appreciate your value and nobody, just nobody wants to sign up to do the work to get another person to learn how to love themselves.
So here's the rule, do not date until your self-esteem is adequate. Stay home, stay by yourself, go to your therapist, go to church, get you some self-help books. If you have a poor self-view you will rarely connect with healthy people. Toxic people who only want to use you and abuse you would be attracted to you knowing that you're broken. If a fool keeps his mouth closed nobody will know that he's lacking knowledge but when he opens his mouth is when everybody understands what's really going on within
• *You're not interested in getting to know the people that are most important to another person*
You can’t eliminate a person’s foundation. They have family that they love and who have shaped who they are. They may want to introduce you but you keep avoiding it. You can only do so for so long. They are trying to bring you into a situation where they live around the people they love and you show no interest, it's not good.
• *God broke it up*
This was a wolf in sheep's clothing and you thought you broke it up. Nope the Lord has better plans for you. Wait on Him
Thank you
Wow I read all of this and it absolutely makes sense. I went on a date and im not sure whether or not I should continue dating this person. He is very attracted to me as I am to him. We kissed and things almost got out of control afterwards he wanted to have sex , I know we were both leading eachother on and I didn't let it happen. I have a lot of work to do within myself but I always seem to get lonely without a partner. He's saying I have trust issues because when he tells me he's gonna call me back because he's busy I call him before he gets a chance to call me. He has a kid with another woman and doesn't want me to come to his place for dinner because his brother is there. Now I'm thinking he has another woman smh I just met him. Should I just take things slow?
Im very attracted to him and it's very hard to let go right now 😪
You’re the MVP for this!!!!! 🏆 ❤️🙏🏾
Wow! You take good notes
Y'all, we got to be honest! This was a mix of humor and wisdom. I love it!
Great video Bishop Blakes! I would add another thing that kills any early relationship is going on non-stop about your ex. I’ve encountered several men that have either been hung up on their past woman they present it like you will never measure up to “her” or they are so angry about an ex, their volatile anger towards her has made me cut the date short and tell the man he needs to sort those feelings out before he considers dating anyone else. I’ve had the thought if they are that violent in their thoughts, I want no part of that.
Sis, you’re correct! I experienced this years ago. I do the same. Ppl don’t have to be perfect but they need to know how important it is to resolve conflicts from their childhood (see a licensed therapist) or past relationships.
And to add to that, males who constantly bring up YOUR ex that they asked if you had. Exhausting.
Oh I am just half way through watching and I tell you, Pastor RC hits the nail on the head!! That is so so true! Hygiene and listening is very important!
That is so disrespectful to be on cell phone on a date!!!!! That happened to me. That was my Marriage that was very painful RC Blake's! I was like Wow. I was so tear up! I lost my appetite. It's all about Respect
No one ever talks about hygiene. Thank you Bishop!!
I’d also add grooming to this list too! Some men show up to date looking straight scruffy with rough dry clothes. No sir…
I thank God daily for your wisdom and sharing it with women looking for a God given relationships.. Being a widow now for over 3 years after a 40 year marriage is so brand new for me.. I am so excited about my new life going forward with all the relationship information I am receiving from you..Thank you
Thank you i needed to hear all of that. God Bless
No disrespect but If I survive that I never remarry after I just want to experience it one time only it that weird to feel this way just asking for myself
I really appreciate you Pastor Blake’s cause as a 22 year old women I haven’t learned half of the things you discuss on your Chanel 🙏🏾✨
I'm so glad you are getting this information in your youth!! Please share with your peers! God bless you 🙏 ❤️
Great insight! These are not just for potential relationships, but great reminders for those who are already married as well. Oftentimes two broken people come together but stay in the relationship despite these things. These poignant reminders can help save the relationship or make it be even stronger. Thank you for such sound, practical, scriptural guidance! 🥰💐
Communication is everything.
Pastor R.C. Blakes you are speaking truth. Our reflection can be a tough revelation but it’s necessary for healing. Healing is a beautiful thing! It’s like finding a treasure chest of diamonds and gems! Our unique selves are as precious as diamonds and gems. Lord Jesus Jesus broke it up! Thank you Lord Jesus!
Thank you kindly for tactfully addressing hygiene!!!🙌🏾
Many people are unaware of this factor & they remain continuously stagnant in relationships.
Also, good etiquette/manners take us a long way in every area of our life.
Again, thank you, Pastor Blakes!!!🙌🏾
✨As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
Psalm 27:17✨
Everyone have a blessed day.☺️
Yes in deed iron sharpens iron & men are to chase after the woman while she approves of him also must have some common interests being equally yoke is a key factor. I really embrace the attraction aspect of it all.
I have family that hygiene is off the chain and it's a shame that there personal hygiene is the problem MY God Thank you Pastor for you are so wonderful with the way you Word your advice ❤️
Yes personal hygiene is a must ! I make my hygiene routine fun !!! During my bath time, I place nice scented bath oils in my bath water. I use both antibacterial body wash as well as body wash that tones and moisturize my skin. I soak my body in the nice water first then I bath. Sometimes I just take soak baths just to relax and meditate my soul and mind. It’s my personal time to reflect and relax. Now before I take my baths and while the water is running in tub, I take care of my facial cleansing oral routines. I make that a fun activity too as I love taking care of my body and doing my best to look good and looking young. All I’m working on now is losing some lbs. I can tend to lose about 30 to 40 lbs. 😀
I love listening to you. I always learn something that I can apply to my life!!!
A very good talk for older people wanting a good godly man also.
Am loving this Pastor RC Blakes Jr. You are a great teacher. Thank you so so much for these teaching on relationships. Your messages have opened my eyes to things I had no one to truly explain to me in the manner that you have. I pray that God will continue to bless you and Lady Lisa. Love you both.
So many selfish non empathy me. It shocked me when I needed comfort from my now ex this past Mother’s Day. My mom passed on 2019 but Mother’s Day is still hard for me, so I went to him just for comfort-he said he didn’t know what to say because he didn’t know her.
Teeth clenched 😬😬😬😬😬🤦🏾♀️
Thank you so much for these teachings, appreciate you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Condolences to you on the loss of your dear sweet mother. I know that pain all to well. I lost my dear sweet mom in 2019 as well. For an individual to not show empathy is a definitely a character flaw especially when it comes to a soul lost.
What kind of foolery… you don’t have to know someone to offer comfort to someone… glad he is an ex
I'm waiting to hear this one Pastor Blakes. Maybe that will give me some insight as to why my previous relationships ended abruptly. Blessings to you and first lady Lisa Blakes.
These phones are truly killing relationships!!!
Makes it's easy to cheat
@@specialk8927 plus they make you paranoid thinking the worst of what they could be up to on them phones
I’m young an I love this man he explains things all ages can understand
This man is sooo wise 🙏🏾
Preach!!! We NEED THE TRUTH!!!! God has SAVED ME FROM WOLVES DOGS AND DEVILS!!! What is for you God got you, what you want you make not need. Work on SELF and prayer to the Lord for guidance in ALL MATTERS!!! Thanks again
I’m listening to this video from the perspective of someone looking to enhance their social skills. The points in the video are so valid for a person in a networking scenario.
I use to be guilty of that downing myself
Thank God
for being delivered ❤
Always spot on!! The silent killers are very important!!!
Hopefully and I really mean it, that people really stop talking and listen to this message. Because of how society has brushed us/women aside, not listening to what we have to say, It’s one of the most disrespectful things a man can do to a woman. We all need to know we’re being heard and what we have to say is important.
So glad he went into depth about hygiene- it can TOTALLY kill a relationship before it ever begins. To go on a date with someone who down not take care with their hygiene is so distracting you can't even focus on getting to know that person- it's also offensive and feels disrespectful. Now instead of getting to know one another, the focus of the date becomes trying to come up with an excuse to end the date early
Good video. Even if you meet someone that seems right for you, it doesn't mean they are going to be that way forever. Right from the start, be honest and communicate who and what you are! We allow communication, but the relationship is up to you! Best of luck to everyone!
This sermon is what I needed this week. ☺️😊☺️
Thank God for man like you!! You’re just to say what God what is to hear and I’m grateful for you and I pray that may God keep using you to touch our souls and bring close to HIM. I NEED A DEEP HEALING EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW I NEED BUT I KNOW I NEED 😢
Trouble is good sometimes!! Step on our toes pastor!
Bishop, I really appreciate and love this message.
I’m divorcing a man that was a pure narcissist and had very very poor hygiene and wanted to be sexual. Wow! He told me the ladies like it. I told him to go for it! I’m out. Wishing you well. Vet well friends!
Why in the world some men think bad hygiene is ok with a women that is puzzling to me
@@marshellbrown9641 Maybe because she was stankin herself
Reminded me of a guy I dated. Bad hygiene I was out.
@@amerokeewiya1320 now that's a good point lol
I had one that didn't sometimes wash for two weeks at a time going to work,drinking routinely & not bathing 🛁 kept praying TMH got me up outta there....! LAWD I THANK YOU SOOO MUCH 💯EVEN HIS MOUTH WAS STANK....OOH LAWD...SMH
Mister, these observations are pure gold, and I have a lot to learn from them. I’m growing older and wiser listening to you.
Rev Blake please comment on dating someone who is a widow who you’re dating, has strong interest in you but constantly talks of his wife in present time even after you’ve brought it to their attention. Even states he can’t let go of all the long years of the marriage. The person has grown kids and seems to think by him not referring to his widow wife as being present is okay. Should I stop dating him and move on?
He said..."y'all just gonna have to get rubbed today"!! Too funny! I love how your messages are delivered with humor. 😅😅
men not using deodorants and keeping afros under their arm pits plus not washing their underwear, women not washing the down under regularly, not changing their bras regularly, keeping wigs for too long, theses are some of the sources of smells and complaints that i get.
Communication is rhythmic - RC Blakes
So blessed to hear this practical advice! This is so wonderful to learn. Blessings to you Bishop!
So true, I have left relationships because their grooming was not up to par. Including their messy house. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m a very clean woman inside & out. Looking forward to meeting my life partner who mirrors me. 💃🏻🥰🙏🏼❤️
I just discovered your Ministry. Awesome insight. Thank you.
So profound as always. People think that honey moon period don’t last forever. Lol. I want it to last forever. I try to maintain the same standard I started off with and I want the same from my partner. You must turn up fresh every time. Lol. Must make an effort like our first date. If you talk to me in a whisper on our first date. I want the same voice on day 364 lol. People be getting too comfortable too quick. Lol
Your absolutely CORECT, very simple whatever it took to get, or capture her attention, is ALSO what it's going to TAKE to keep it. THIS IS COMMON SENSE, it's easy.
You nailed it sir women put thereself down it is better not to say a thing after a compliment
I’m so OCD. I could never be with anyone who does not have good hygiene. Parents are to blame for the hygiene part. I see this with most of my friends with kids. These kids don’t bathe the moment they come from school and some don’t even bathe before they go to bed. They’re not taught to clean after themselves at home. They’re not taught to fix their room once these kids can speak and walk fully some parents don’t implement anything kids are to fend for themselves. Some kids are born with the wisdom to do certain things some kids as they grow say, i was never taught anything as a child. I don’t get it I truly don’t. I taught my friends kids how to do certain things they say. I will always remember you for teaching me this. I know parents want to teach a child to be independent but as a parent you have to teach kids all of it bc some are born with it some are not. And once its too late it just hard to get them to do what should’ve been taught early on.
I agree. Also, I would love to see more parents instill hand washing hygiene in young children.
Agree. I was Raised to be CLEAN& TIDY too!! Thank You JESUS for MY PARENTS & MY UPBRINGING!! :)
As usual you have done a fabulous job. May God continue to bless you and Lady Lisa. I Love you both.👑👑💖🙌🏾🙏🏾
Sir, you are so in point. Thank you so much for your Godly counsel. Know that you are making a huge difference in the lives of people you will never meet.
Listening to get understanding tonight
Thanks Pastor RC Blakes for this very important well needed valuable lesson. It is so helpful and it is so much truth to this lesson. Most people nowadays don't have any manners and are too selfish to care to have any manners on how they treat people in social gatherings. Too many people are stuck in cyber space media to even care about being down to earth and for real with people to properly interact with others. Well said Pastor RC Blakes.
I had a guy who asked me but had a very very very stinnkkiinng BREATHE. OH MY GOD. I RAN FOR MY DEAR LIFE.
Great point. It not only deals with his or her physical hygiene but also his or her surrounding. That can definitely be a big turn off especially when you say it and the reception is defensive instead of receptive.
This is one of the best, most powerful lessons I have come across! Thank you so much for sharing your amazing wisdom and knowledge and help transform so many lives!
THanks Unc!!!! You ALWAYS Come THrough!!!!
True . Some folks are not very observant of what triggers an emotional change after some comments. Hence, they say anything and expect you to be happy.
This was a very helpful video. I really appreciate this. It was very insightful. Thank you Bishop.
Excellent Bishop Blakes so needed to be said.
Omg!!! I died laughing on the first one bc I was wondering if you’d bring up Hygiene.. and it’s #1! My bf takes a shower every two days or so and brushes his teeth sometimes, and I keep telling him he smells bad, but he keeps doing it. If he doesn’t straighten up soon, it might be a reason to leave 😣
Oh my...You're patient. I would've told him off a long time ago😅😅
@@hilenikullakapepo9338 exactly
And if he out there having sex with other people which men do cheat and he ain't washing that's nasty and a way to get an infection!
Leave, girl, goooooo
This really resonates. RC so right, we have to be careful, we just don't know the person. We don't even get to know just what we did wrong, or have another chance which is sad. My mother early with my Dad had to 'correct' him embarrassing her. But at least she could speak up and out. It was a marriage made in heaven. Sometimes, we misjudge people, maybe they were nervous etc. No one is above making mistakes however, and each side can and will offend, perhaps not intending to. Sad where an otherwise great connection got missed.
This was the best video for this topic. They hit home and make you self-introspect. Thank you so much 🙏
Amen. It helps, everything you have said is true. God bless you ❤❤❤❤
FYI for my sisters and brothers, it’s also about if the clothes smell good, if they have a sour stench, even the persons car! I am visually impaired and I have a great smell her! In recent months I’ve encountered reeking of weed in the car, sour smell on the clothes and the car. I wasn’t truly interested in the mail anyway so I didn’t have a problem not engaging any longer with them. I just said this just won’t work we’re not on the same page. Again, not everyone can smell like a visually impaired person! Even my female friends have a smells due to the material that they wear from their clothes. Thank you Bishop always incredible and amazing! Love you lady Lisa very very much.
Great teaching. I needed to hear this today!!! Thank you
This message was truly a blessing
people say I'm too bold, I told this guy I work with who respects my counsel .. I said to him ... permission to offend he said yes. I said when people see you the first thing they say is your smile , I said your girlfriend may have left you because of your teeth I said you have great health insurance so use it. he should me his 1700 tattoo I told him he has to get his priorities in order you shouldn't invest that much for a tattoo and your teeth looks like that. he received it praise God :)
Good for you!! That's a great way to approach this, think I'll use it!
He can do whatever he wants with his money, teeth messed up & all that’s his business
@@amerokeewiya1320 yes but if he is complaining then you tell them the problem
I went grocery shopping with a friend and she walked the isles talking on her phone. I left her, went to the checkout and outside to the car to wait. She spent a long time looking for me and finally called me.
Brilliant
Your messages Bishop have been teaching me so much about life and God. Thank you so much 🙏🏾
I appreciate this. I knew god wanted me to see it. I thought that when I first seen it. Then I thought of it again and I was like if I see it on my scroll it's meant to be and there you were just a little bit down. And I needed to hear some of this
I personally needed and receive this Bishop.
I thank you
Yes 🙌🏾 … God Broke It Up. Amen 🙏🏾.
Thank you Bishop Blake for always speaking truth. And kudos to Your lovely wife as well.👍🏾😊💕
I’m amazed Pastor Blake you are hitting the reasons I have left persons who did those things. 🤦🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️
I was happy to see your message
Sooooooooooo true. God bless you always sir.
Hallelujah I'm not ugly
Pastor is so right! When a person loves you because you have low self-esteem they are about to use and abuse you.
Preach! Amen for all this wisdom you share!! Thank you so much!!🤗❤
So thankful to be here listening to you! Thank you Pastor for the knowledge 🙏🏽
**** I am going with # 7. When I saw this Man something leaped. He did it for me visually, a rare occurrence. We began to talk and he immediately wanted to SEXT…I am NOT okay with that, but Mostly, He’s a Pastor….It’s difficult, but I MUST be okay in letting go.*** Thank You Bishop for Your Wisdom. Blessings To All.***
Wow!
So awesome you were helped here. Talk is cheap even at the pulpit….. consider the fruit….
Someone who is in a position of leadership and is doing this….. shows that unfortunately he does not understand the position of shepherding and also how to treat a queen or SEE.
🚩
Number 6🎉 that meeting my “best friend” of the opposite sex is for the birds…I’m sooo glad you mentioned that. I thought I was tripping for a minute. I honestly don’t won’t no parts of that…ijs. Thanks for the teachings ❤
BIshop you have bless my life with your lessons on Life..Something my Dad refused to do...God continue to keep and bless you and your Family
The person was divorced but getting to know him, he still had soul ties to his ex-wife who was a witch warlock. We were getting close and she stopped it our relationship. He broke it off with me
THANK YOU BISHOP BLAKES FOR THESE MOST VALUABLE PEARLS OF KNOWLEDGE. MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND FAMILY!!!!! MORE THINGS TO KNOW FOR MY NEW RELATIONSHIP...
Oh I did this quit looking after my divorce. I had a poor self view now almost 2 years later. Therapy and refunding my self, I feel and think so much better.
Wow this is so amazing !
Teeth 🪥 🦷 I've gone out with men who smell fresh but their teeth are looking terrible like they haven't been to the dentist in years yet they seem not to even know how bad those teeth look!! Who's gonna want to kiss someone like that?! Gum and mints do not cover bad teeth! Brushing regularly and regular visits to the dentist are extremely necessary for a healthy attractive smile and a fresh mouth ...
U are telling all of us right! I've gone on dates with men who were nice, but their breath was bad! Oral hygiene is just as important as physical hygiene! Ppl who eat unhealthy are a turn off for me, because I'm into healthy eating & exercising! I don't really care to eat in most restaurants because half of the meal is covered in grease! CHRISTIANITY is the most important thing to me, because we must be equally yoked in JESUS!!!
Amen! Preach! I cannot be attracted to laziness and lack of discipline - the physical self care is every bit as important as the spiritual self care-
Thank you Bishop for teaching what the Lord put on your heart. Thank for blessing us with this message. The Body of Christ need this message as well as the world.
So many good points!! That go clean over some folks head.
The hygiene part is so important! Thank you for mentioning it pastor 👏🏾
You’re right pastor I love this🙌🏽🙌🏽💯