Best Jesus Jokes | Stand-Up Compilation

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 มิ.ย. 2024
  • Jesus Christ... Jokes. Enjoy this compilation and subscribe for more to come! PALE TOURIST is NOW streaming on Amazon Prime. Check out Canadian American and Spanish American by clicking here bit.ly/JGPaleTourist
    :34 - I’VE GOT JESUS!
    :50 - LET’S TALK JESUS
    1:25 - CARPENTER
    2:04 - MARY & JOSEPH
    2:40 - SHOPPING FOR JESUS
    3:05 - CRUCIFIXION
    3:33 - MIRACLES
    3:55 - THE APOSTLES
    5:55 - JESUS GREAT SHAPE
    6:23 - MULTIPLY BREAD
    8:03 - PAINTINGS OF JESUS
    9:43 - JESUS’ BIRTHDAY
    THE PALE TOURIST
    Asian American (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGAsianAmerican
    Florida Man (Full Set)- bit.ly/JGFloridaMan
    Run with Bulls bit.ly/JGRunwithBulls
    Ontario vs Quebec bit.ly/JGOntario
    Spanish Superstitions bit.ly/JGSuperstition
    Canadian Map bit.ly/JGCanadaMap
    Tapas bit.ly/JGTapas
    Tourists bit.ly/JGTourist
    Halifax Donair bit.ly/JGDonair
    Rodeo bit.ly/JGRodeo
    Drake Story bit.ly/JGDrake
    QUALITY TIME
    Marathons bit.ly/JGMarathons
    Horses bit.ly/JGHorses
    Appendix bit.ly/JGAppendix
    Museums bit.ly/JGMuseum
    Lying bit.ly/JGLying
    Dog Birthdays bit.ly/JGDogBirthday
    Cold Weather bit.ly/JGColdWeather
    NOBLE APE:
    Japan vs China bit.ly/JGJapan
    My Wife's Brain Tumor bit.ly/JGBrainTumor
    Massages & Saunas bit.ly/JGMassage
    Pope bit.ly/JGPope
    My Least Favorite Doctor bit.ly/JGWorstDoctor
    UK vs US bit.ly/JGUSAvCanada
    CINCO
    Morning Person bit.ly/JGMorning
    Fish are Gross bit.ly/JGFishGross
    Steak is Manly bit.ly/JGSteak
    Hiking bit.ly/JGHiking
    Idiot Abroad bit.ly/JGIdiotAbroad
    Easier to be a Guy bit.ly/JGBeaGuy
    Big Family bit.ly/JGBigFamily
    OBSESSED
    Bars: bit.ly/JGBars
    Weddings bit.ly/JGWeddingsyay
    Victoria's Secret bit.ly/JGSecret
    Seafood bit.ly/JGSeafood
    Donuts bit.ly/JGDonuts
    Bath vs Shower bit.ly/JGBathvShower
    Can't Stop Eating bit.ly/JGstopeating
    MR. UNIVERSE
    Vitamins bit.ly/JGVitamins
    Whales bit.ly/JGWhales
    Fitness Goals bit.ly/JGFitnessGoals
    Home Birth bit.ly/JGHomebirth
    McDonald's bit.ly/JGMcDonalds
    KING BABY
    Camping bit.ly/JGCamping
    Bacon bit.ly/JGBacon
    Fried Chicken bit.ly/JGFriendChicken
    Waffle House bit.ly/JGWaffleHouse
    BEYOND THE PALE
    Hot Pockets bit.ly/JGHotPocket
    I'm Korean bit.ly/JGKorean
    Doing Nothing bit.ly/JGDoingNothing
    Out To Dinner bit.ly/JGOutToDinner
    Cake bit.ly/JGCakes
    Vegetarian bit.ly/JGVegetarian
    MERCH Proceeds donated to ThelmagineSociety.org tinyurl.com/y5fwmpb2
    LETS GET COOKIN' World’s Favorite Quarantine Cooking Show
    Toast bit.ly/JGToast
    Burger bit.ly/JGBurger
    Pork bit.ly/JGPork
    Hotdog & Eggs bit.ly/JGHotDogs
    Pizza bit.ly/JGPizzaLGC
    Pasta bit.ly/JGPasta
    Hot Dog Fest bit.ly/JGHotDogFest
    Meatball Parm bit.ly/JGMeatball
    Peas & Corn bit.ly/JGPeasandCorn
    Mikey Takes Over bit.ly/JGMikey
    Oatmeal Soup bit.ly/JGOatmeal
    Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlates
    Chicken Fillet bit.ly/JGChickenFilet
    KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKansasCBBQ
    Bacon Wrapped Steaks bit.ly/JGBaconWrapped
    THE MIKE & PAT SHOW: (the next Pewdiepie or Roblox addicts challenge)
    Daddy Dog bit.ly/JGDaddyDog
    Hot Pocket bit.ly/JGMPHotPocket
    Spaghettios bit.ly/JGSPaghettios
    Liverwurst bit.ly/JGLiverwust
    Twinkies bit.ly/JGTwinkies
    Fluff bit.ly/JGFluff
    Vegemite bit.ly/JGVegimite
    MY KIDS REACT
    My Kids React my 1st Stand Up TV Spot • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
    My Kids React my 1st Stand Up Special • "MY KIDS REACT: To My ...
    DINNER WITH THE GAFFIGANS nightly 6pm E. Watch past episodes click JOIN & become MEMBER. Fee (99 cents) donated to TheImagineSociety.org.
    JIM EATS THE WORLD (mukbang asmr local food)
    St.Louis Pizza bit.ly/JimEatsTheWorld
    KC BBQ bit.ly/JGKCBBQ
    Garbage Plate bit.ly/JGGarbagePlate
    Polish Boy bit.ly/JGPolishboy
    Spain bit.ly/JGSpainJETW
    Colombia bit.ly/JGColombia
    Paella bit.ly/JGPaella
    PALE FORCE w/ Conan O'brien - • "Pale Force" - Jim Ga...
    CORONAVIRUS LIFE (Try not to laugh+ CBS SUNDAY)
    Welcome to Quarantine • “Greetings from Quaran...
    My Kids Ask Covid-19 • "MY KIDS ASK: About CO...
    Pandemic CBS Sunday Morning Mega Compilation • Jim Gaffigan CBS Sunda...
    TEXT JIM 646-980-6600
    Jim Gaffigan is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and producer. He presently has 5 stand up specials on Netflix and 3 on Amazon Prime Video. He wrote 2 New York Times Best Sellers DAD IS FAT and FOOD: A Love Story He co-created and starred in a tv series based on his life called The Jim Gaffigan Show. He has appeared in numerous TV shows and films in both comedic and dramatic roles.
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  • @melcollie4507
    @melcollie4507 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    I'm Orthodox Christian, which is to say, very Christo-centric. To anyone who is offended about this video I would say: these are not jokes about Jesus; these are really jokes about us. Thank you, Jim, for sharing so much of your content. May God grant you many years!

  • @marshalbaek5580
    @marshalbaek5580 3 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    I'm a Christian and I thought this was great. Some of the situational things Jim brings up with Christ must have happened to some degree and were really funny even then. There is no doubt in my mind that Christ has a sense of humor and laughed at several of the scenarios Jim jokes about.

    • @MajorPayne175
      @MajorPayne175 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yea, I'm sure Jebus is cracking his ass up in heaven........./s can't believe grown folks still believe in that silly shit.

    • @marshalbaek5580
      @marshalbaek5580 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@MajorPayne175 Major Payne, I fully respect your decision and personal right to not believe aliens could exist. And your decision not to doesn't stir my emotions at all Sir. But it seems my decision to believe differently than you aggregates you. I wish it didn't. I wish that so much that I'm going to explain it from a science and math perspective:
      Our Universe is made up of billions and billions of GALAXIES (we literally can't count them all) and we still haven't found a definitive end to our universe, only an estimate and we keep moving that estimate out - some scientists are starting to theorize the universe has no end.
      That said, you could get in a space ship and travel at the speed of light (186,000 miles per second) and after 50 years of traveling in that tin can, you would still need another 199,950 YEARS of travel at the SPEED OF LIGHT just to GET OUT OF OUR ONE GALAXY the Milky Way.
      How long would it take to explore an infinite amount of galaxies? It's mind blowing when we can't see ourselves EVER getting out of just the one galaxy we live in?!
      Understanding how insanely vast the universe is, are you 1,000 percent sure you believe we're the only life form that exists? Are you sure a life form far, far, more advanced than ours doesn't exist out there?
      And what about the string theory of 10 dimensions? If time is the 4th dimension, what do you think the 5th one is? I'm respectfully asking - because it's mind blowing to even try to guess what it could be because we have so little to go on: height, width, length, time, _____? What would the next one be? And if life existed in those dimensions, we can't see them - we might catch glimpses or slithers of them, but we would have no idea what we were looking at.
      No one knows how the big bang started. I don't think it's a stretch to think an Alien Life Form so far advanced ahead of us set it into motion. When you consider how massive the universe is we can see right now, and to think we can't even begin to understand the dimensions we CAN'T see and how vast they may be including more universes, I don't think it's a huge leap of faith to think we're not alone.
      I hope you find peace about this Major. Sincerely, I do. I won't claim I have perfect peace, but my faith and hope that we're not alone bridges the gap for me. My faith in the possibility an advanced life form that we call God exists and it makes a difference for me finding peace in many things. Regardless of whether it's imagined or real doesn't change the results it gives me in my life often.
      God is an alien life form so complex that it's not possible to define and definitely not possible to explain right now. Like a dog trying to understand the complete human existence.
      Man, my dog doesn't even get my jokes?! (rim shot).😳......but seriously:
      I'd hate to try and explain the Pythagorean theorem to my dog. And yes Major, I understand how to use it! Ha!
      I recently heard a comedian do a bit that helped in a weird way. He said he was an atheist when it came to the God of the Gym. If there's a God of the Gym, then why is there so much pain and suffering in the gym? I found that amusing and yet thought provoking.
      Hey - sorry this went so long - take care of yourself Major. I wish you well Sir...

    • @jacobmiller8816
      @jacobmiller8816 ปีที่แล้ว

      No this is not it this guy is not God fearing at all.

    • @marshalbaek5580
      @marshalbaek5580 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jacobmiller8816 I understand. Consider this; regardless of what Jim believes, it doesn't mean there wasn't an element of humor in some of those moments when they actually happened. Truth is still true regardless of whether or not a person fears it or believes it. Thanks for the comment Jacob! Have a great day!

    • @deborahchrist1097
      @deborahchrist1097 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amen!!!

  • @brianlake2905
    @brianlake2905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +172

    "Everybody knows the apostles but this is my buddy Earl"

  • @lawrencecann532
    @lawrencecann532 3 ปีที่แล้ว +103

    Jim does a great job staying respectful of the topic while totally shreading it with humor.

    • @greggoreo6738
      @greggoreo6738 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Shredding. O.k.? Best regards. Gregg Oreo long beach CA

    • @BringBackStoning
      @BringBackStoning ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@greggoreo6738 who asked for your location?

    • @oldyeller6518
      @oldyeller6518 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@BringBackStoning I did

  • @layarodolph650
    @layarodolph650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    "He did a jesus joke and was electrocuted... it was the best show I've ever seen" 😂😂😂 why's it tru tho

    • @daneli9770
      @daneli9770 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Your saying he was really electrocuted

  • @timoutman2421
    @timoutman2421 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    The tilt of your head on the miracle joke about curing blindness an constructing shelves is perfect! Classic Gaffigan punctuation!

  • @edisonschrader4046
    @edisonschrader4046 2 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    My wife and I recently had a lost in our family, Your video made us forget and laugh in this time of sorrow.
    Thank You !! and God bless.

    • @robinirwin7072
      @robinirwin7072 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m sorry for your loss 🙏

  • @brianheaton5521
    @brianheaton5521 3 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    "Yeah, but we can still get the jackets right!?"
    The Apostle's joke, brilliant.

  • @SIONEKENI
    @SIONEKENI 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    “Wouldn’t it hilarious if I was electrocuted right now...” ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️

  • @drewallen8326
    @drewallen8326 3 ปีที่แล้ว +87

    Jim, Weve been evacuated from our home because of the fires in the Santa Cruz mountains and were we live on the North Coast.Watching your vidioes is one of the "normal" things we can still do.Thank you for making us laugh!!!!

    • @szqsk8
      @szqsk8 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Drew Allen Bummer. Praying for everyone going through this yet again. Sending good thoughts your way - I'm in The OC.

    • @tantrika.exotica
      @tantrika.exotica 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Praying for you ALL🙏🏼❤🌍

  • @adonis819
    @adonis819 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Thank you Jim for doing your part to keep us all sane.

    • @ginor8416
      @ginor8416 ปีที่แล้ว

      Pandemic or not Jim is always good to calm things down

  • @Wuppie62
    @Wuppie62 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    And Jesus said: "Stand up comedy, and walk!"

  • @CeeCeeArt
    @CeeCeeArt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    I'm pretty sure that you are the only "clean" comedian that I enjoy......maybe Seinfeld too, but right now it's you that's entertaining me every day. Thanks!

    • @Joy.Elizabeth
      @Joy.Elizabeth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I agree! My hubby n I love Jim Gaffigan's specials!
      Have u tried the specials on Netflix by Fluffy? Real name Gabriel Iglesias. He's a pretty clean comedian too (esp in the earlier specials.) Both are my all time fav comedians.

    • @ChickSage
      @ChickSage 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      JGafs is the bomb! If you're into clean comics, I'd recommend checking out Brian Regan, if you haven't already.

    • @jharvable
      @jharvable 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Brian Regan and Jim Breuer

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I wouldn't walk a yard to hear Seinfeld. Gaffigan though ....

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      His material is SO relatable even if you are not Christian.

  • @tucci007da
    @tucci007da 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The apostle from Brooklyn, Frank Rizzo; "Hey Jesus, me and the boys we was talkin'..."

  • @Lesstroublesleeping
    @Lesstroublesleeping 3 ปีที่แล้ว +136

    Hey Jim, I 'discovered you' during this pandemic. Your standup is a real breath of fresh air during these times. I really appreciate how you respond as your audience to your jokes. Real interesting insights in your comedy. Thanks for cheering us up!

    • @JimBananas
      @JimBananas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Maybe that's why God sent the pandemic.

    • @fenwayify
      @fenwayify 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @Regular Gamer Did He share that fact with you recently RG?

    • @reneolguin1081
      @reneolguin1081 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Regular Gamer but he'll send you to hell for eternity, just for not adoring him

  • @Soapandwater6
    @Soapandwater6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    The way he always makes those little side-comments in that judgmental church-lady voice is freakin' hilarious! Thanks for the good laughs, Jim! And thanks for keeping it clean.

  • @helene420
    @helene420 3 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    You're delivery is masterful. You never fail to crack me up.

    • @mimsyborogove3906
      @mimsyborogove3906 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Hey, I'm jealous of Helene. She got a little heart icon. You''re funny anyway, I guess.

    • @charlescameron6017
      @charlescameron6017 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@mimsyborogove3906
      That's because Jim, unlike Jesus, ALWAYS reads and responds to his fan mail and TH-cam comments!

  • @joeyzuber117
    @joeyzuber117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I've been listening and loving Jim since the origin of..... "HOOOOT POCKET" I'm 46 now, so it's been a while. Still awesome as ever.

  • @LisbethAdams
    @LisbethAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +605

    As a Catholic I am offended..that you didn't do more Jesus jokes. :)

    • @LisbethAdams
      @LisbethAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@vanmoody A stationary Popemobile perhaps? ;)

    • @LisbethAdams
      @LisbethAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Sky Videos So nice you said it twice! ;)

    • @LisbethAdams
      @LisbethAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      @@johnbrowne3950 According to Wikipedia we make up 50.1% of Christians or we are the original pre-denominational Church. Take your pick. Jesus loves us all. :)

    • @johnbrowne3950
      @johnbrowne3950 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@LisbethAdams There are more people who follow Islam and that is also a cult.

    • @LisbethAdams
      @LisbethAdams 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@johnbrowne3950 I think you are missing the point of comedy. Peace be with you.

  • @jan9659
    @jan9659 3 ปีที่แล้ว +65

    You remain the best, Jim Gaffigan! Thanks for the many laughs!

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am recovering from a brain surgery so I can't laugh so I am saving them for when I can enjoy them. For now, I can only read the comment section.

    • @caseyovermyee4916
      @caseyovermyee4916 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@edithdlp8045 Careful...It is scientifically proven that TH-cam comment sections can fuel laughter due to their potential for banter, insults, and kindergarten-level arguments. 😉

    • @caseyovermyee4916
      @caseyovermyee4916 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@edithdlp8045 To be fair, there are also some genuinely interesting people who provide random but fascinating facts. 🙂

  • @nancychen2924
    @nancychen2924 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I have been a long-time fan. Thanks for making us laugh during this difficult time. And thank you for speaking out on Twitter! Much ❤ to you and your family!!

  • @yellostallion
    @yellostallion 3 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Love all your compilation videos, Jim. Great that you release "Jesus'" on a Sunday! You are the only comedian that makes Jesus's jokes work! They are funny as hell?

    • @shirleyrombough8173
      @shirleyrombough8173 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Funny as hell! Great use of words.

    • @rduff1999
      @rduff1999 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shirleyrombough8173 actually if you ponder Todd's remark,"funny as hell", I think you might, as certain Christians may, find that he spoke the truth since they would consider neither the jokes or hell funny Pax

    • @Phooie
      @Phooie 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@shirleyrombough8173your Awesome 😊

  • @pmishke
    @pmishke 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    You always make me laugh and feel good inside. I wouldn’t worry to much about all the Jesus jokes. If you get into trouble we’ll all stand behind you and back you up.

    • @rapauli
      @rapauli 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      But it might be nice to have another martyr -- just in case we need to start another media church.

    • @trishdawson705
      @trishdawson705 ปีที่แล้ว

      his so funny

  • @Reason1717
    @Reason1717 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    As an Atheist I found these jokes so funny and also non-offensive to Christians too. Which equals brilliant! Very funny jokes true master of one's craft :)

    • @harlleygurrola8394
      @harlleygurrola8394 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      They are pretty fun, As long as you Can save a soul, that's all that Matters

  • @suebrown3465
    @suebrown3465 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    You got me at Joseph saying “Jesus Christ” ...another well done compilation..I tip my virtual emoji hat 🎩!!

    • @globetrekker86
      @globetrekker86 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Sue Brown: That was hilarious! “Oh, you already know about it…” 😂

  • @markconforti7614
    @markconforti7614 3 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    “...and we’d love some shelves right here.” 😂 Can I use this in a sermon?

    • @markconforti7614
      @markconforti7614 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Dee_xx for sure! 😊

    • @anniebieber19
      @anniebieber19 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You are Awesome JG! 🌷✌🌷

    • @anniebieber19
      @anniebieber19 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Sheldon Cooper So...no shelves? 🌷✌🌷

    • @markconforti7614
      @markconforti7614 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @jimgaffigan, I did it! Today's sermon! It killed. And then gave life.

    • @jamiebom1023
      @jamiebom1023 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I can't handle the blind/shelves joke!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @davidworobec1673
    @davidworobec1673 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    His comedic timing is brilliant! He's awesome!

  • @kayladawn
    @kayladawn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +295

    "I do want everybody to feel comfortable that's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus" bhahahaha 🤣🤣🤣😭🤣😭🤔🤭

    • @edenswaterislife9214
      @edenswaterislife9214 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When you realise Jesus the bridegroom is trans and he told everyone he came from the jews 😂 the reason they killed him

    • @shellswetrick3395
      @shellswetrick3395 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      😅😅😅😅😅😅😀😀😅😅😅

    • @ninjaked1265
      @ninjaked1265 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@edenswaterislife9214 he’s not trans

    • @rayshelld791
      @rayshelld791 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lol, loved it.

    • @bonnieburton-rr6re
      @bonnieburton-rr6re ปีที่แล้ว

      Exactly why you talk about Jesus leave it alone why don’t you just say gods name in vain while you’re at it😢 ridiculous people gotta tell these kind of jokes😂

  • @bonegrubber
    @bonegrubber 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Lord know we all need more Jesus!!!

  • @joemanly9519
    @joemanly9519 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I'm sure he will have you perform before dinner when ur up there in heaven. Well done good and faithful comic.

  • @jainfreeman9587
    @jainfreeman9587 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Jeannie is 1 smart cookie! Her writing is impeccable.

  • @sirfrancisdrake2398
    @sirfrancisdrake2398 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Hi Jim- I saw you at a small college in Oklahoma many years ago and haven’t stop watching you since. Thanks for the work you put in for us -

  • @funnyassvidsboy
    @funnyassvidsboy 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Literally no other comedian makes me laugh so hard I can’t catch my breath.

    • @MrJdsenior
      @MrJdsenior 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Try some John Pinette, Kellen Erskin, or Victor Borge...but yeah Gaffigan is also top tier.

  • @melisagilbert4486
    @melisagilbert4486 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Hi, Catholic here, this was all funny and in good taste ! So funny! Easy freak I keep work at work! Lol 😆

  • @gitknownmedia3655
    @gitknownmedia3655 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    7:10 the bread joke was so good! 😂

    • @harlleygurrola8394
      @harlleygurrola8394 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      That's true, People then did NOT Get the memo: Jesus was offering Himself but no one wanted to live Like him - offer yourself to others Just like I'm offering myself to You: that was the lesson
      Sadly, that message can apply to Us today

  • @Buzzygirl63
    @Buzzygirl63 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    OMG... teenage Jesus... acne Jesus... I'm dying here... 🤣🤣🤣

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes acne Jesus was a high point for sure. Although the healthier diet of the time may have prevented most skin problems.

    • @davidmmm8
      @davidmmm8 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      The Jews never show the “Ultimate Jew” Jesus with even the slightest skin blemish while growing up. It is not good for their PR purposes. He must be gorgeous, albeit only 4’6” in height by evolutionary standards.

    • @wakkomole7508
      @wakkomole7508 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "mustache barely growing in Jesus" 😂

  • @josephyork4175
    @josephyork4175 3 ปีที่แล้ว +156

    On the construction site while using a port a potty I saw the graffiti. "JESUS IS ALIVE". Response, " OF COURSE, HE'S ON THE FOURTH FLOOR HANGING DRYWALL."

  • @Teddy31976
    @Teddy31976 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You are definitely my favorite comedian!! Thank you for the videos and laughter 🤣🤣🤣

  • @allys744
    @allys744 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Out of everything else, Jim’s delivery of “Joseph? YEAHH??” had me crying with laughter

  • @doloresgruszka2806
    @doloresgruszka2806 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    "You can reenact my birth scene with dolls."

  • @scottpollock1650
    @scottpollock1650 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    You're the best. I can play your comedy to anyone. I appreciate the time it must take

  • @jerrylong6238
    @jerrylong6238 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    If this is the best Jesus jokes I don't believe I could handle the worst ones.

  • @gregoryeaston9396
    @gregoryeaston9396 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    "You made wine? Jesus, we're not supposed to drink! We're Baptists! - Oh, it was just really good grape juice... Oh, well then, bravo." - The carpentry. The miracles. The flannel graph boards in Sunday School. How can anyone NOT laugh?

    • @louiseevans5752
      @louiseevans5752 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      WE NEED * HIM * N O W TO PERFORM THE * M I R A C L E * OF GETTING R I D OF THE CCP-VIRUS...HALLELUJAH / AMEN/ PRAISE THE LORD...ASK & YE SHALL RECEIVE !!

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@louiseevans5752 You mean like he got rid of the Spanish flu?

    • @TUHOANG-wq6jv
      @TUHOANG-wq6jv 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@louiseevans5752 ft

  • @tommybell1786
    @tommybell1786 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Always good! Love it.

  • @LeesaGio
    @LeesaGio 3 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    Jesus Loves The Gaffigan's💜

  • @dwaynecorry7037
    @dwaynecorry7037 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you Jim for all the great jokes. Takes my mind of all my life problems for a minute.

  • @clarity2478
    @clarity2478 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jim didn't expect this to be so funny! Wow you are great
    in the funny department! Glad I found you. Thanks for
    laughs!

  • @j.p.7708
    @j.p.7708 3 ปีที่แล้ว +94

    He imitated a “Karen” before she was born.

  • @seanmacsweeney2985
    @seanmacsweeney2985 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    As always, great comedy 😂

  • @m.k.c.5212
    @m.k.c.5212 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    When someone shows up at my door to "talk about Jesus" I answer the door naked. Problem solved.

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I live in an apartment complex with security so no one, besides the tenants, can enter. But it's a great idea otherwise.

    • @ionebrown481
      @ionebrown481 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      My hero!💝

    • @jefolson6989
      @jefolson6989 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That would scare ME as much as them, so I ask questions like ' what does the Jesus say about anal sex??"

  • @Imightberiding
    @Imightberiding 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Funny stuff. Always love a good religious joke. I can't remember where I heard this one but it was at least 30 yrs ago. I always thought it was funny. Jesus is up on the hill hanging on a cross close to death. He softly cries out to Peter. "Yes my lord?" says Peter. Again Jesus calls Peter's name; stronger this time. "I'm here Lord. What is it?" Jesus looks out; it was a great view from up on that cross at the top of the hill. "Peter, I can see your house from here."

  • @gnashsang
    @gnashsang 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for another Jim! You rock Sir.

  • @riverraisin1
    @riverraisin1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I watch some comedians doing stand up on TH-cam and wonder why the audience is laughing so hard at mediocre jokes. I watch Jim Gaffigan and wonder why the audience isn't laughing as hard as I am.
    This guy is hilarious!
    And my neighbors would prefer I closed the windows.

  • @Bubba1960.
    @Bubba1960. 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I love both Jim, and Jesus, and they're absolutely right, socks and sandals were never, nor will they ever be....cool!

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Actually, socks and sandals are an aweful combination.

    • @shirleyrombough8173
      @shirleyrombough8173 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@edithdlp8045 - "What am I, German?"

    • @edithdlp8045
      @edithdlp8045 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shirleyrombough8173 ???

    • @ShadoHHR
      @ShadoHHR 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@edithdlp8045 - but have you ever noticed just how many people are wearing that combo?

    • @cindyd2963
      @cindyd2963 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Socks with sandals has never bothered me.

  • @absatwell8163
    @absatwell8163 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the best! Thanks Jim!

  • @charlesstratford1612
    @charlesstratford1612 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    loved the jokes, brought a good laugh all around. Really appreciate the share and talent

  • @gdhayes2761
    @gdhayes2761 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    I’d like to talk to you about ... Jesus. Jim nails that lilt.

  • @spincube5734
    @spincube5734 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    JESUS CHRIST those are funny Jesus Christ jokes Jim !!!!!!!!

  • @kingwinky1914
    @kingwinky1914 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I would totally wear that hat Jim! Thanks for the laughs brother!🤣🤣👏🏽

  • @edhart9409
    @edhart9409 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks Jim… As a retired professional (clean) comedian (23 years) I find it hard to watch some of the comics of today. However, you make me laugh. Thank you.

  • @jerostormyfire4360
    @jerostormyfire4360 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Jim Gaffigan, once again you made my day! Thank You!

  • @sarahdee374
    @sarahdee374 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I believe that Jesus (more than anyone!) has broad shoulders and a kick-ass sense of humor. I'd love to have hung out with him, had a couple glasses of water and then wine, and told some jokes.

  • @Sommerset1969
    @Sommerset1969 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You rock
    Your the best it’s all so true!!!!
    Thank you for great material

  • @cristinehulse1526
    @cristinehulse1526 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are my favorite comedian ever!!

  • @ystoobme
    @ystoobme 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I was horrified and highly offended. Never laughed more in my life, keep up the great work Jim.

  • @drewtheunspoken3988
    @drewtheunspoken3988 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Best compilation yet! Keep'em coming, Jim. These are much appreciated on days like these.

  • @Slydog43UTube
    @Slydog43UTube 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    OMG, love the 1st clip with a much younger Jim. Your a very funny man, thanks for all your vids.

  • @scottsthoughtschannel9538
    @scottsthoughtschannel9538 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    These were FREEKING AWESOMENESS!!! LMFAO!!! I sent this to all my friends.

  • @stevecannon4780
    @stevecannon4780 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My mother introduced me to her new husband. She said "This is my husband JC." I said "Jesus Christ !" Their jaws dropped. My mother got the joke at that moment and started laughing so hard I wondered if she was going to pass out. She said she had never thought of that. He just didn't believe that I would say that. My mouth has almost no filter.

  • @jackwood8307
    @jackwood8307 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Jesus Christ that was funny!😂

  • @johnmat7099
    @johnmat7099 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dont know if you read these or not but i really needed this today my cousin is in the hospital hanging on to dear life and I being a cancer survivor am having a hard time dealing with it thank you for giving us something else to watch during these crazy times!

    • @amperage8032
      @amperage8032 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      John Mat Thank you for sharing and I’m very sorry you’re going through this. Blessings to you and your cousin and may Christ’s peace be with you.

  • @MonicaGloHernandez
    @MonicaGloHernandez 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Life is so hard, it's important to take a moment and laugh 😂😅 Thank you Jim for the gift of laughter. 😉

  • @alexander-kirk
    @alexander-kirk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    Only person who makes Jesus talk not that uncomfortable

    • @alexander-kirk
      @alexander-kirk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Conway Twitty The historicity of a person named Jesus is mostly agreed on by academic historians :) Look up "Historical Jesus" in Wikipedia. It provides a pretty good secular explanation.

    • @linshanhsiang
      @linshanhsiang 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@alexander-kirk What's that got to do with Jim Gaffigan?

    • @davidmmm8
      @davidmmm8 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@linshanhsiang Yeah Jim G is the best.

  • @wakkomole7508
    @wakkomole7508 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Absolutely hilarious!!!!! 😂

  • @redeagle9312
    @redeagle9312 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Jim, you are the best!! Thanks bud.

  • @dannyspitzer1267
    @dannyspitzer1267 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I've always loved these!
    More Jeebus jokes please!

  • @thomasbenck9525
    @thomasbenck9525 3 ปีที่แล้ว +109

    As a Germans i really appreciate the one about wearing socks and sandals. :-)

    • @NoisyHill_
      @NoisyHill_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes me too :D

    • @wakkomole7508
      @wakkomole7508 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      God bless the Germans but that totally made me think of my neighbor on that one! lol

    • @annmarie6870
      @annmarie6870 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lmao!

    • @nonyabidness5708
      @nonyabidness5708 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sadly it's a thing over here now too... mostly the young people. Lol

  • @mpenny54
    @mpenny54 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I'm still recovering from Jesus's birthday! That was insane! how can anyone not love Gaffigan?

  • @mrs.b.5864
    @mrs.b.5864 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Loved this. Keep ‘em comin’. Love your humour…not just on this topic.🇨🇦

  • @lawrencecann532
    @lawrencecann532 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What a great gift you are to us.

  • @monicagaytan8248
    @monicagaytan8248 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sir you are by far the funniest man in the world hands down!! Lmao

    • @chrisbaker3066
      @chrisbaker3066 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      better than Billy Connelly?? I don't think so. He is funny though.

  • @adamdudziak1958
    @adamdudziak1958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Absolutely love it.

  • @bmeclipse
    @bmeclipse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Jesus would’ve been great at Home Depot.
    “Oh, hi. Can I ask you about God?”
    “Um, I’m in a hurry. My toilet’s plugged.”
    “How about filling out this quick survey on solar panels?”

  • @MrsRAJJAE
    @MrsRAJJAE 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Is it bad that I was laughing just a little before the video started?? Lol Jim you crack me up😂

  • @sideshowtink
    @sideshowtink 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    The best! Always! The poor people may look at my art. LOLOL

  • @mirjamkohler263
    @mirjamkohler263 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hilarious!!!! Keep it up Jim!

  • @natebrown5806
    @natebrown5806 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Jim, I was going to comment on your hat in the intro. Nice work man. It looks like you’re really trying. Putting In the effort. And for that nice work man. The other thing is the first clip when the video actually gets started. Holy crap, my man! When was that? I’d love to catch some of your old stuff, because I’ve only known about you since like 2010. Great work on breaking through, btw.

  • @renaldonormani6646
    @renaldonormani6646 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Just started tuning in a few weeks ago....now....just Have to...Thanks Jim!

  • @junojem
    @junojem 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I love Jim's jokes he's AMAZING🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😁😁😁😁😁😁😃😃😃

  • @freestatehomestead
    @freestatehomestead 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Dropping that on a Sunday morning I see 🤣🤣🤣

  • @susanmfhorn
    @susanmfhorn 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    😂 Hop to it “Jesus” 😂

  • @cherylmcnutt9905
    @cherylmcnutt9905 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Loved it!

  • @sergeyyagelskiy8141
    @sergeyyagelskiy8141 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I have found your videos only a two days ago for the first time ever. Cause I am russian, you know. A proper Russian, I mean. Like Russia's russian. And I just can't stop watching you, Jim. You're great! Those Jesus jokes are funniest stuff I ever heard.
    Sorry for my bad English, btw. )

  • @amarie0908
    @amarie0908 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Awesome stuff... Jesus gives you a lot of material. 😆

  • @bruland2000
    @bruland2000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are SO funny. Thank you thank you thank you.
    We saw you in Chicago's airport once, with five kids in tow, and didn't want to bother you but really were happy to see you in full on Dad mode. - Jeffery Bruland

  • @sayresrudy2644
    @sayresrudy2644 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    this material is gold. saw him in NYC & it rocked.

  • @dianewillson3261
    @dianewillson3261 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    It's Sunday morning enjoyed your Jesus jokes, my church for this morning
    No Catholic guilt involved

  • @user-sb3wh3dd4v
    @user-sb3wh3dd4v 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Not offended enough... but I LOVED it anyway!

  • @thepixelpusher
    @thepixelpusher 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Jim, you are Gods gift to us!

  • @Maliceah
    @Maliceah 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for these Jesus.....jokes! Thanks Jim. :)