John! Excellent Video! I've been doing exactly what you shared in today's video for the past 25 year's! NEVER, let a women move in - EVER! My entire home is my "man-cave." Peace & Freedom!👍👍
When I was a kid my parents fought all the time hated each other ended up getting a divorce even my grandparents never got along. That was all I needed to know that marriage sucks I knew at a very young age that I wasn’t going to get married.
High rise downtown luxury 2br apt with amenities is magic, they don't want to leave, always come back, and they assume they aren't the only one without a lot of discussion about it.
@@Jonathan-yr3so As someone who audited the PE firm that birthed BlackRock (The Blackstone Group) during my time with Deloitte & Touche in NY I absolutely second this!
Marriages as an institution should be done away with and replaced with a 1 to 5 year renewable contract. If the couple wishes to end the relationship, just let the contract expire. The whole idea of making marriage an institution of the state is completely wrong. Religions can define "marraige" as they see fit. The contract can be made binding on two or more consenting adults 18 and older. This accommodates gay couples, lesbians, polygamous, and polyamorous relations, as well as the traditional male/female couples. Its a win win that maximizes freedom.
My first wife cheated and left me with two small children to raise. Which I did and she paid zero child support. However it cost me half my equity. Second wife was batshit crazy. Had to give her half again. And I owned my home before I met her. Now I am retired with a large mortage and nowhere near as financial stable as I should be. I would never, ever recommend marriage to any man.
After my 8 year marriage ended (no children) I invite girls over to hang out, then they have to leave when I’m ready for bed. Works great. No drama. Ever.
You are very wise sir. Both my marriages lasted 12 years, but were actually over by year 10. I was a top earner, shared my money with them unselfishly, never cheated on them even once. They both hated me by year 10 lol. Absolutely positively never again! There is nothing that would get me to marry again. The freedom and lack of drama is addicting. The so called modern woman is not worth it in any way whatsoever. I literally feel sadness for the gentlemen out there who are married. I can see the pain in their eyes, every ounce of life has been sucked out of them.
I know what you mean. I have some married clients that I see every week and their lives are miserable. They don't even realize how bad it is because they are in it. It's like a fish not being aware of the water.
I’ve had several of these relationships you’re describing and they are extremely satisfying. We get together when it’s convenient for us and only do fun things together, and then we each retire to our own living spaces and never have to deal with each other’s bullshit or families. I’ve had a few that lasted six months and one that lasted four years. Sadly, what usually happens in my experience is that the woman will eventually give you an ultimatum. She’ll tell you there’s a guy who wants to seriously date her and then she’ll say “if you and I are just having fun why should I keep turning down this other guy who wants commitment!?!” I’ve known for years that marriage is a dead technology and that society has evolved past the need for it, but a romantic relationship that doesn’t progress to marriage is unappealing to women, because despite all the advances in opportunities what women still dream about is a man paying her bills for life even though she knows the truth about what a shit show marriage is.
I've become so happy with freedom and peace that I wouldn't even get married or cohabitate with a "unicorn." Seriously, if you offered me a 21 y/o virgin who can cook, clean, and take commands I still would say no to marriage. I'm 35 and have been redpill since age 11. Over these nearly 25 years of aware living, I realized that "husband" will ALWAYS mean manager; no matter what kind of wife I get married to. I refuse to ever be responsible for another adults livelihood. I do not care how fit, nice, and submissive they are. As far as "legacy" goes. No one will remember me, you, nor John Griffin 2000 years from now.
I don't know you personally, so everything I'm about to say is an assumption. Being red pill aware since age 11 tells me one thing, you've been rejected since age 11. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but awareness at such a young age makes me believe that your awareness was born from bitterness. If you're 35 and have never been married or cohabitated, is it because you're smart, or is it because you've never had the option to do so?
@CAPSFANDC ugh. Here we go. Why do so many of you on this side of yt think it's hard to find a gf? Have you ever been to Cosco or the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon? Every time I go shopping on the weekend, I see an abundance of overweight, bald, short guys with a wedding band and a chick. It's not that hard to find a wife. All you have to do is be willing to serve.
@KeyHimself101 First off all, we know it's not hard to get a girlfriend. But do you WANT the girlfriends you see those low value guys with? Also, you have no idea how those guys looked when they met their wife. My father is 5-9, about 275 lbs, with a bald ponytail (think of a short, obese, ginger hulk hogan). When my parents got married in '97, my father was a 5-9, 160 lb law student.
John, you’re absolutely right, unmarried relationships should be the norm, but we’re probably a couple generations from that still. Women have no problem entering into what they’ll call a casual relationship or a situationship with a guy they’re really into, with the proviso that she’s definitely trying to change his mind and get him to commit and marry her one day. Women have a million and one ways to support themselves financially and live on what they make these days, but they all still talk about marriage like it’s the only respectable option because they’ve done the math and have all collectively decided that’s their best chance for financial security. They’re not letting go of the marriage dream any time soon, it benefits them too much still.
Best girlfriend arrangement I had was with us maintaining separate households. Her house was used to raise her daughter, mine was used for 'sexy time.' The only downside was everything in my house was sticky.😂
You are so spot on. If you give up anything for sex, you are screwed. My happiest time, even though I was broke with child support, I lived by myself for 10 years.
You’ve hit the nail on the head John. The problem in guys’ heads over time is perceived lack of independence due to cohabitation. The power struggle is diminished significantly if parents live apart. Healthier for all parties involved
Good video John. I see red flags entering into a contract with an emotional creature! I'm glad my kids are grown. I had a Girlfriend suggest we get married and live apart. We would still be together if not for her insisting on Marriage. Never again!
Everyone remember to watch Nick Johnson recently posted, INSIDE A COLLAPSE: The Most Abandoned American Cities Ever Film. Like Nick Johnson or not he is spot on. Read the comments, such sadness to see this dying of America . His work is amazing. I shared his video twice. Scary America. Marriage maybe on the decline!.... stay healthy everyone
Now that’s a situation I would sign up for! I have my place and she has hers. We can go out, have fun, music, food, dancing. Or make a meal together at home, clink wine glasses, make love on the bear rug next to the fireplace and then she goes home. Wonderful!
I think back when we died at age 30, it was fine. You would meet in your teens, have children, and be dead before she really gets on your nerves. But, damn modern medicine has extended our lives, and now we are stuck with the mistakes we made for 40 or 50 years! It's more like a prison sentence than a life!
I'm saying this as a woman who is more on the independent side. It sounds like a great idea only if most women are willing to do that with you. As long as the majority of women are still looking at marriage as a way to move up in socio-economic status or as a way to secure financial resources for offsprings, most men wouldn't have the option to not marry the woman that they want to get with. And the few women who are financially independent and don't need marriage for security and resources, their bar for getting into a relationship with a man is a lot higher. So in theory this is a great idea, but probably will be hard to do in practice.
Definitely I think is a really great idea. I feel that we are very slowly heading to something like what you mentioned where you find a partner but you don't cohabitate with each other. Getting married the traditional way by ceremony and in law is something that is very risky in today's society and on top of that marriage comes with a lot of headaches. I also think if your married, guys tend not to rock the boat with his woman, because he fears that if he does even one wrong move that his wife will threaten to leave him and split up with him so we tend to just let go and that is where the women start to take control. It also becomes a constant battle as well. Eventually the relationship starts to wear down and that's where it falls apart. I think like what John says in this video is that we just have to be honest with our intentions and find someone who sees eye to eye with us. Most women aren't going to be cool with it but there are still some who definitely would be open to it. I've known a few older couples who just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend for the longest and made it work and they share a space together. So it basically comes down to what are you seeking and finding someone who shares similar values.
Variety is the spice of life. It brings excitement, happiness, virility, hope and adventure. But it also brings risk, uncertainty, loss of time and energy, not to mention a crap load of expenses. Then again, as the old saying goes "A problem that can be solved with money is not a PROBLEM, it's an EXPENSE"😎
I've seen bad relationships, bad divorces, I've heard all the advice about staying single and somehow my brain is still stuck on having that traditional family, being a dad and "living happily ever after." It's like my brain is convinced this is what I need. I guess I must be insane or something.
An idea like mandatory official agreement you mentioned was in a comment I made to a previous video of yours. Life became too complicated for both men and women. Default definition of marriage or lack of it does not meet the needs of the current society. Such agreement is absolutely necessary to help couples.
Been having similar thoughts lately. Seems like the only solution for having a monogamous relationship that doesn't deteriorate into constant hen-pecking.
Married 14 years on January 8th..it's no fun your right it's no fun..it's tiring..it's frustrating..endless disappointment and failures and setbacks, I'm fed up, don't get married unless it's your Soulmate. Your right society in general just isn't working nothing is..were all just fiddling with our thumbs playing pretend.
@bobw1909 yeah but I've had spiritual experiences, I've had an nde 2 million people have seen my story..and the reason I bring it up was because in my experience I did encounter a soul that I would consider to be my soul mate..it was an indescribable connection..I have no connection to my wife now not even as a friend..and I know this is subjective to me but to me this stuff is real
So many younger guy's i talk to are soʻ nieve. They think and feel (just like I did) that it's special and will run to the end. They have little awareness of what will happen to 55% of them. Divorce from unhappy wife. .... I'm tired and done. Single life for me. No more mind games.
Actually, the percentage is much higher than 55%. More like 90% over a given time span. For example: how many people who got married in 1970 are married today? How many from 1980? How many from 1990? See what I am getting at?
I watch a lot of youtube videos every day. A wide variety of subjects. For many years. I have had a lot of successful "TH-cam university" outcomes. If I had to make a choice to only watch one channel, yours would be in the top three...At least.
Wow, I really appreciate that. I watch a lot of TH-cam, too, and I wanted to do something unique. I tried the traditional stuff for a while, and it felt wrong sitting at my desk or working out in my gym. Walking the dogs was actually just a way to work the videos into my day to save time. Who knew that shooting outside would be such a draw?
This is the future. And I think old school expectations about women are over and men shouldn't resent women for it but accept and roll with it. And on the other hand, women shouldn't be offended if a man views relationships as accessories to his life and not the main focus.
💯 This should be new way of marriage. I agree 💯. This should work due to over supply of un married woman. They may push back but if they see money they will settle for it.
I suggested exactly this arrangement in the comments of a magazine article about falling birth rates. I was trying to be positive and constructive, but I was rounded on and basically accused of working for the devil. Mostly by men telling me a household needs a balance of masculine and feminine energy and that everyone loses out by living separately. This I just put down to powerful programming, although I have to respect other people's experiences. There was also a practical problem pointed out to me that had more merit, which is that if both houses are big enough for adult and children you would need a massive increase in housing supply, which isn't going to happen quickly. I cheerfully suggested it might sort itself out over the long term as falling birth rates eventually reduce populations, but I was again pretty much accused of wanting genocide. I think most people's commitment to the status quo is stronger than you think.
This scenario was played out by an unmarried couple from Canada. Look it up, happened a few years ago. It cost him millions. The system won't let this happen, men are to be monetized and women will never let that slip through their entitlement. IMO men must deny them access.
Canadian viewer here. What couple are you talking about? If they did not move in together and weren’t married, I seriously doubt your story. There is something you’re not telling us.
The inherent unfairness of outcome B (co-existing) is that the woman no longer provides the value she promised, while the man still provides the value he promised.
I’d say whenever there is a marriage it should be a contract for a certain amount of time . Say 10 year contract and if you’re miserable at the 10 year mark then it can end with no financial penalty to either party. If everything good sign for another 10 and so on. At least if it’s a miserable marriage you’re not stuck in a lifetime of misery because of this unrealistic lifetime commitment. Just an idea
What I found in my own marriage was my even asserting an opinion on a course of action would trigger aggression: raised voice, exasperation, hand wringing. If I persisted in the disagreement it would invariably lead to the water works and a screaming match. Eventually, you are trained to just relent immediately knowing that, as you said, following through to the end would require enduring the large fight and usually it just isn't worth it. Of course you put your foot down for the big decisions, but the bar for those becomes higher and higher as time goes on. This stopped in my marriage when I got to the point where I stopped giving a shit about her little tantrums and started treating her like a spoiled child. I basically indicated to her that if she didn't like it we could start talking about divorce. Her hegemony was over at that point because she knew I was serious. This is something that a young man can't do that easily because they actually fear the idea of their girl leaving them.
Issue with it is the kids. Because it’s not optimal for the kids to be up and down from one place to the other. That has to be exhausting for the children. Unfortunately that’s what has to happen if women don’t change to actually focus on what’s actually best for the children.
I’d guess the number of really happy marriages is less than 10%. There is typically only contentment, not happiness. Most people that claim to be “happily married” will also tell you that if they are ever somehow single again, they’ll never marry again. After marriage, happiness becomes heavily handicapped.
Yup! This is me. Contentment and a sexless relationship and marriage. Contentment, knowing I have Shelter, Food and Other Things. There is long time, security and a roommate. Yes, there is divorce. I’m a Messianic Jew and believer in Jesus Christ. In order for me to have sex again, I must be married. But honestly, do I want to get married again?
1) Only 6 figure income couples could afford your scenario John 2) Blue collar couples can't afford two homes / Blue collar will not be able to have kids without cohabitate/ really they can't afford kids NOW
"Old too soon, smart too late." As the age old adage goes. When you get to know a woman within a relationship you have to set the parameters from the beginning. Yes you definitely consult ,letting her know her opinion is respected in that conversation but beyond that it's the guys final decision and she can come along or not as her decision. For this to work she must respect and value you as the leader of the family. If she isn't in this mind frame 'IT' isn't going to work out over the long haul.. Any F**k up is on you though!! For the guy I'd say don't sweat the small stuff and happiness long term may just be yours if you are exceedingly lucky John's estimate at 5% happy together survival rate may be a little low but not out by more than 5% would be my guess. Those are not good odds.
What you described in this video may be similar to the lifestyle of ancient semi-nomadic hunter-gatherers. Something that drove human evolution for tens of thousands of years and still persists as part of our nature. In that environment, couples interacted within a group of several dozen people. Everyone would contribute according to their skills, needs and connections. Childcare arrangements would not necessarily require parental cohabitation.
Yup exactly, it's women and the luciferian ideology called feminism that they're under the influence of and practice towards men with the full support and backing from the government.
Even being redpilled, I don’t mind the relationship dance if the women is really TRYING, except legal marriage. I need to be able to leave without court interference (unless we have a child or business together). I wouldnt force relationship expirations, however I am aware it will eventually happen so I just try to enjoy the ride until “she” switches the dynamics. Been working so far.
John separation LTR plan would have to be done with a tightly drawn contract or I can see the slippery slope to this type of arrangement. Another problem that could arise is, is each free to seek other contracting partners?
@15:24 I did this with my ex girlfriend but unfortunately she developed into an alcoholic! I can still talk to her just I’m not romantically involved and as a drunk she can be unreasonable at times. About 3 years ago I met another mid 30s woman desperate for a child but she showed me narcissistic tendencies such as silent treatments hot and cold and some violence and after 10 months of on/off dating gave me a give me a baby ultimatum and I felt that the child could be used as a hostage if I went ahead with her and she wasn’t interested in my concerns and blocked me! In revenge even after two years she tries to provoke me with other men even though she ended it and I may have complied if i had known her for a stable couple of years.
Great idea, except that they are constantly overhead. I am near Dulles Airport, National Airport, and Joint Base Andrews. So, between commercial airlines, VIP helicopters, and military jets, I would never get anything done. Perhaps I should find a forest further out. Thanks
*And my mother was determined to finding me a good girl in Nepal so we can bring her to the states, all combine our income together to buy a single family home. lol. Women are delusional.*
When I see a athletic intelligent blonde woman I really like, Im secretly thinking - I want you to have my babies. In fact, I know for a fact that if you have substantial money, you can get almost any college age woman that you genuinely like to have your child if you ask directly and mean it. There is no higher honor than to directly ask a woman if he will have your baby. Not even asking her to marry you. She might say no at first to the baby, but she will do it. YMMV. The BIGGEST issue I see with having children in 2024 and beyond is the Christ-less, AI and robot future, One World Marxist government that your offspring will have to survive in during the next 80 to 90 years. They won't have the same childhood we had in the 60s, 70s, 80s. Far from it.
"we (men) dont want to fight(w spouse)" YUP. i know a guy, remarried (did not learn the first time), he thought he found the right one (she had also been divorced). i was having a meal with them. he looked weary and resigned. i suspect he wanted peace at any price from the constant nagging.
As rates of religious belief, rigid morals and marriage have fallen so has social stability and the general level of trust in society. Single-mother households especially have a destabilizing effect on society and a negative effect on children, especially males. We think we're so smart and advanced in the modern world - but we are increasingly all more self-centered and narcissistic - choosing ourselves in the present moment over what's good for future generations and our future as a cohesive society.
@@learningisfun2108 The left has already done this. It's called wokeness and it's very rigid - but it's also unforgiving and mentally toxic. I'm an Agnostic myself - but it's pretty clear to me that with the rejection of Christianity and the embrace of secular ideologies the world has gotten worse in many ways. Humans need structure around us to control our basic drives which are hedonistic and bad for society.
Artificial wombs are in development and soon men will be able to have kids without the complications of another woman or a surrogate. All you need is an egg donation. Women, who has complications, can have kids with artificial wombs.
John I have thought about this exact scenario but I end up coming back to the same thing...how would it differ from being an amicable divorce ?... Since I've gone over a few things in my mind let me take a shot 1) Will the relationship be defined as monogamous ? 2) I feel that there should be 1 residence where the children reside with the mother and father having their own places it would be easier than just moving the kids from place to place. 3) I think in the end it's still going to be a contract even if it isn't called marriage..on the bright side it would be negotiated in advance and consequences for breaking the it would be predetermined. I guess there is no such thing as a free lunch so to speak. 4) I think the woman in question are only going to want to do this with the Chad types were once again average Joe is standing out in the cold with nothing while well to do Chad has a herum of women and kids scattered about. Just my thoughts.
Sounds very reasonable, if both are totally honest and without deception - just don't keep the other parent as a stand-by comfort-relation until you find somebody better, with whom you move hundreds of miles away and the one left behind has to arrange for your kids to get a chance to see their father in his new home with his new partner or mother as the case might be. It is not good for the children to have unhappy parents who don't get along - this coparenting in separate homes might really be better than divorces and conflicts all week long, all decade long. Worst are the full time stay-at-home-parent solutions, much better to take turns. Simple life-style with all necessities with harmonious parents, is all children need, the kids can fix more luxury when they are adults if they want to, and feel proud of it.
The issue is still cohabitation. However, I feel. Women do get bored short attention span. Sharing a kid at 2 different places might be tough as well. Good idea, in principle, would be a hard sell to women, though. I think women initiate marriage more than men.
I like the idea however i think there is definately a financial barrier to this scenerio working in most cases. It would be quite rare for both parties in the agreement to be financially secure in order to fund a home & children on a single income.
![ILLSLICK - KILLSHOT REMIX [FULL VERSION]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RIK8RrqIAzE/mqdefault.jpg)
Being blamed for someone else's unhappiness is the line.
I've been saying this for years. Have a relationship if you want but, don't smother each other and become too complacent.
When a woman starts using sex to get what she wants in a relationship or marriage that marriage or relationship is over
@@Billydevito it's not over, just showing it's true colors, prostitution.
My wife uses sex to get sex 1:16
@@Billydevito @19 my girl did
this all the time we were just kids lol
Living apart relationships are the most satisfying and longest lasting!
John! Excellent Video! I've been doing exactly what you shared in today's video for the past 25 year's! NEVER, let a women move in - EVER! My entire home is my "man-cave." Peace & Freedom!👍👍
When I was a kid my parents fought all the time hated each other ended up getting a divorce even my grandparents never got along. That was all I needed to know that marriage sucks I knew at a very young age that I wasn’t going to get married.
Smart observation
Very smart move.
Therapy is in session. 👍
Always in session!😂😂
It's so much cheaper to live by yourself. Stay single gentlemen.
not in Germany. Rents are off the roof.
I've begun to sell my single-family homes as I see a future where current home sizes won't work, for singles.🏠
Do us all a favor. Don’t sell to black rock or the like. Sell to private buyers.
High rise downtown luxury 2br apt with amenities is magic, they don't want to leave, always come back, and they assume they aren't the only one without a lot of discussion about it.
mistake if in California
A lot of these larger houses they could make duplexes out of.
@@Jonathan-yr3so
As someone who audited the PE firm that birthed BlackRock (The Blackstone Group) during my time with Deloitte & Touche in NY I absolutely second this!
Marriages as an institution should be done away with and replaced with a 1 to 5 year renewable contract. If the couple wishes to end the relationship, just let the contract expire. The whole idea of making marriage an institution of the state is completely wrong. Religions can define "marraige" as they see fit.
The contract can be made binding on two or more consenting adults 18 and older. This accommodates gay couples, lesbians, polygamous, and polyamorous relations, as well as the traditional male/female couples. Its a win win that maximizes freedom.
My first wife cheated and left me with two small children to raise. Which I did and she paid zero child support. However it cost me half my equity. Second wife was batshit crazy. Had to give her half again. And I owned my home before I met her.
Now I am retired with a large mortage and nowhere near as financial stable as I should be.
I would never, ever recommend marriage to any man.
@@darrylg7600 what attracted you to these women in the first place? Did they change over time?
@@MADMOGtheFrugal absolutely they did! It was liked they flipped the switch to crazy.
Sorry to hear that. I hope you have good relationships with your grown children.
@@samiamgreeneggsandham7587 my two sons are fine young men, educated and working. They turned out to be the bright spot in my life.
Sorry to hear and thank you for sharing.
After my 8 year marriage ended (no children) I invite girls over to hang out, then they have to leave when I’m ready for bed. Works great. No drama. Ever.
Not many men have your opportunities
Well stated. We are childfree too
@@shirleygriffin7672Wait What?.. are you related to John?
No, just a good last name!
You are very wise sir. Both my marriages lasted 12 years, but were actually over by year 10. I was a top earner, shared my money with them unselfishly, never cheated on them even once. They both hated me by year 10 lol. Absolutely positively never again! There is nothing that would get me to marry again. The freedom and lack of drama is addicting. The so called modern woman is not worth it in any way whatsoever. I literally feel sadness for the gentlemen out there who are married. I can see the pain in their eyes, every ounce of life has been sucked out of them.
Gospel🙏 ❤️💪
I know what you mean. I have some married clients that I see every week and their lives are miserable. They don't even realize how bad it is because they are in it. It's like a fish not being aware of the water.
I’ve had several of these relationships you’re describing and they are extremely satisfying. We get together when it’s convenient for us and only do fun things together, and then we each retire to our own living spaces and never have to deal with each other’s bullshit or families. I’ve had a few that lasted six months and one that lasted four years. Sadly, what usually happens in my experience is that the woman will eventually give you an ultimatum. She’ll tell you there’s a guy who wants to seriously date her and then she’ll say “if you and I are just having fun why should I keep turning down this other guy who wants commitment!?!” I’ve known for years that marriage is a dead technology and that society has evolved past the need for it, but a romantic relationship that doesn’t progress to marriage is unappealing to women, because despite all the advances in opportunities what women still dream about is a man paying her bills for life even though she knows the truth about what a shit show marriage is.
Renting the item is always better than buying!!😂😂😂😂
Cheaper also
Uh huh!
I've become so happy with freedom and peace that I wouldn't even get married or cohabitate with a "unicorn." Seriously, if you offered me a 21 y/o virgin who can cook, clean, and take commands I still would say no to marriage.
I'm 35 and have been redpill since age 11. Over these nearly 25 years of aware living, I realized that "husband" will ALWAYS mean manager; no matter what kind of wife I get married to. I refuse to ever be responsible for another adults livelihood. I do not care how fit, nice, and submissive they are. As far as "legacy" goes. No one will remember me, you, nor John Griffin 2000 years from now.
You are LITERALLY in every comment section on YT. Lol. You are omnipresent. Jokes aside, RP'd since 11?! What?!
I don't know you personally, so everything I'm about to say is an assumption. Being red pill aware since age 11 tells me one thing, you've been rejected since age 11. I'm not saying that's necessarily a bad thing, but awareness at such a young age makes me believe that your awareness was born from bitterness. If you're 35 and have never been married or cohabitated, is it because you're smart, or is it because you've never had the option to do so?
@CAPSFANDC ugh. Here we go. Why do so many of you on this side of yt think it's hard to find a gf? Have you ever been to Cosco or the mall on a busy Saturday afternoon? Every time I go shopping on the weekend, I see an abundance of overweight, bald, short guys with a wedding band and a chick. It's not that hard to find a wife. All you have to do is be willing to serve.
@KeyHimself101 First off all, we know it's not hard to get a girlfriend. But do you WANT the girlfriends you see those low value guys with? Also, you have no idea how those guys looked when they met their wife. My father is 5-9, about 275 lbs, with a bald ponytail (think of a short, obese, ginger hulk hogan). When my parents got married in '97, my father was a 5-9, 160 lb law student.
Very true! Cohabitation is a no go! Thanks!!
John, you’re absolutely right, unmarried relationships should be the norm, but we’re probably a couple generations from that still. Women have no problem entering into what they’ll call a casual relationship or a situationship with a guy they’re really into, with the proviso that she’s definitely trying to change his mind and get him to commit and marry her one day. Women have a million and one ways to support themselves financially and live on what they make these days, but they all still talk about marriage like it’s the only respectable option because they’ve done the math and have all collectively decided that’s their best chance for financial security. They’re not letting go of the marriage dream any time soon, it benefits them too much still.
Getting into a marriage creates this prison...
Wise words from a wise man.
Thanks!
Best girlfriend arrangement I had was with us maintaining separate households. Her house was used to raise her daughter, mine was used for 'sexy time.' The only downside was everything in my house was sticky.😂
😂
Soo you were banging a single mom?
Why date a single mother?
That made me spit my coffee
Imagine the smell.
I like just being alone.
You are so spot on. If you give up anything for sex, you are screwed. My happiest time, even though I was broke with child support, I lived by myself for 10 years.
You’ve hit the nail on the head John. The problem in guys’ heads over time is perceived lack of independence due to cohabitation. The power struggle is diminished significantly if parents live apart. Healthier for all parties involved
Good video John. I see red flags entering into a contract with an emotional creature! I'm glad my kids are grown. I had a Girlfriend suggest we get married and live apart. We would still be together if not for her insisting on Marriage. Never again!
G😂😂🎉ood morning 🌄. Thanks for sharing and the world 🌎 has changed. Stay healthy guys.......... Resting in bed this morning, getting ready for Monday!
Thanks
Thank you for the value 🙏
My pleasure!
Everyone remember to watch Nick Johnson recently posted, INSIDE A COLLAPSE: The Most Abandoned American Cities Ever Film. Like Nick Johnson or not he is spot on. Read the comments, such sadness to see this dying of America . His work is amazing. I shared his video twice. Scary America. Marriage maybe on the decline!.... stay healthy everyone
I'm subscribed to Nick Johnson I like his videos and content👍
You just described my life.
You are definitely speaking facts , John
Thanks!
Thanks for your content John. I have a similar background and age as you and your message resonates alot with me.
Thanks, we older guys need to pass along the little bit of wisdom we managed to accumulate before we forget it all.
You may have solved the Seinfeld episode "The this, and the that". If you are not familiar with this episode, please watch it.
I'm sure i have seen it as I have binged the whole show once, I just don't remember it right now. Ill look it up. thanks
Now that’s a situation I would sign up for! I have my place and she has hers. We can go out, have fun, music, food, dancing. Or make a meal together at home, clink wine glasses, make love on the bear rug next to the fireplace and then she goes home. Wonderful!
She may feel the same way. Her house, is nice and neat, without your junk.
Exactly!!!
I genuinely don’t think men and women were meant to live together or be “married” doesn’t make sense tbh
@@andrewevans7992 that’s cause
We’re like the only animals
That follow made up rules
To avoid what nature says
I think back when we died at age 30, it was fine. You would meet in your teens, have children, and be dead before she really gets on your nerves. But, damn modern medicine has extended our lives, and now we are stuck with the mistakes we made for 40 or 50 years! It's more like a prison sentence than a life!
I'm saying this as a woman who is more on the independent side. It sounds like a great idea only if most women are willing to do that with you. As long as the majority of women are still looking at marriage as a way to move up in socio-economic status or as a way to secure financial resources for offsprings, most men wouldn't have the option to not marry the woman that they want to get with. And the few women who are financially independent and don't need marriage for security and resources, their bar for getting into a relationship with a man is a lot higher. So in theory this is a great idea, but probably will be hard to do in practice.
I don't think it will work for every woman, but it will be a perfect fit for some. Thanks
Definitely I think is a really great idea. I feel that we are very slowly heading to something like what you mentioned where you find a partner but you don't cohabitate with each other. Getting married the traditional way by ceremony and in law is something that is very risky in today's society and on top of that marriage comes with a lot of headaches. I also think if your married, guys tend not to rock the boat with his woman, because he fears that if he does even one wrong move that his wife will threaten to leave him and split up with him so we tend to just let go and that is where the women start to take control. It also becomes a constant battle as well. Eventually the relationship starts to wear down and that's where it falls apart. I think like what John says in this video is that we just have to be honest with our intentions and find someone who sees eye to eye with us. Most women aren't going to be cool with it but there are still some who definitely would be open to it. I've known a few older couples who just stayed boyfriend and girlfriend for the longest and made it work and they share a space together. So it basically comes down to what are you seeking and finding someone who shares similar values.
So happy that I moved in my with exgirlfriend for 4 years, now I know what you are saying, and I will not be marrying or cohabiting ever again
Variety is the spice of life.
It brings excitement, happiness, virility, hope and adventure.
But it also brings risk, uncertainty, loss of time and energy, not to mention a crap load of expenses.
Then again, as the old saying goes "A problem that can be solved with money is not a PROBLEM, it's an EXPENSE"😎
It's a stroke of brilliance.
Thanks!
John...perhaps your best video yet ! ........ I watched it to the end !
Thanks! I think I am getting better with practice. I look back at some of my older videos, and I cringe.
I've seen bad relationships, bad divorces, I've heard all the advice about staying single and somehow my brain is still stuck on having that traditional family, being a dad and "living happily ever after." It's like my brain is convinced this is what I need. I guess I must be insane or something.
An idea like mandatory official agreement you mentioned was in a comment I made to a previous video of yours.
Life became too complicated for both men and women. Default definition of marriage or lack of it does not meet the needs of the current society. Such agreement is absolutely necessary to help couples.
Been having similar thoughts lately. Seems like the only solution for having a monogamous relationship that doesn't deteriorate into constant hen-pecking.
Leave the women and the children at a distance.
I don’t think that the world today is conducive to having a family.
I like the drone pull out shots! I also agree a marriage free union of sorts will be the future.
Thanks!
Married 14 years on January 8th..it's no fun your right it's no fun..it's tiring..it's frustrating..endless disappointment and failures and setbacks, I'm fed up, don't get married unless it's your Soulmate. Your right society in general just isn't working nothing is..were all just fiddling with our thumbs playing pretend.
No such thing as a soul mate, we live in the physical world with the flesh and all humans are flawed
@bobw1909 yeah but I've had spiritual experiences, I've had an nde 2 million people have seen my story..and the reason I bring it up was because in my experience I did encounter a soul that I would consider to be my soul mate..it was an indescribable connection..I have no connection to my wife now not even as a friend..and I know this is subjective to me but to me this stuff is real
I wouldn’t get married to my soulmate. 😂😂
Its terrible because YOU are liking dropping the ball. Polarity suffers and women get bitter. That's my guess.
@@Ben-kw8nb lol
Unmarried, pre-divorced, separate together. Sounds good. But good luck creating that and keeping the agreement from falling apart.
Thanks, John.
So many younger guy's i talk to are soʻ nieve. They think and feel (just like I did) that it's special and will run to the end. They have little awareness of what will happen to 55% of them. Divorce from unhappy wife. ....
I'm tired and done. Single life for me. No more mind games.
Actually, the percentage is much higher than 55%. More like 90% over a given time span. For example: how many people who got married in 1970 are married today? How many from 1980? How many from 1990? See what I am getting at?
I watch a lot of youtube videos every day. A wide variety of subjects. For many years. I have had a lot of successful "TH-cam university" outcomes. If I had to make a choice to only watch one channel, yours would be in the top three...At least.
Wow, I really appreciate that. I watch a lot of TH-cam, too, and I wanted to do something unique. I tried the traditional stuff for a while, and it felt wrong sitting at my desk or working out in my gym. Walking the dogs was actually just a way to work the videos into my day to save time. Who knew that shooting outside would be such a draw?
Brilliant!!! I believe this is the path forward and the way families will look in the future.
Thanks!
This is the future. And I think old school expectations about women are over and men shouldn't resent women for it but accept and roll with it. And on the other hand, women shouldn't be offended if a man views relationships as accessories to his life and not the main focus.
💯 This should be new way of marriage. I agree 💯. This should work due to over supply of un married woman. They may push back but if they see money they will settle for it.
In the movie Our Souls at Night, two senior citizens live in their own homes and visit each other periodically for companionship
So on point 8:47 - "There's a caveat.. There's a woman involved" 😂😂
I suggested exactly this arrangement in the comments of a magazine article about falling birth rates. I was trying to be positive and constructive, but I was rounded on and basically accused of working for the devil. Mostly by men telling me a household needs a balance of masculine and feminine energy and that everyone loses out by living separately. This I just put down to powerful programming, although I have to respect other people's experiences. There was also a practical problem pointed out to me that had more merit, which is that if both houses are big enough for adult and children you would need a massive increase in housing supply, which isn't going to happen quickly. I cheerfully suggested it might sort itself out over the long term as falling birth rates eventually reduce populations, but I was again pretty much accused of wanting genocide. I think most people's commitment to the status quo is stronger than you think.
Brilliant I agree John .We have to make our own contracts now .
This scenario was played out by an unmarried couple from Canada. Look it up, happened a few years ago. It cost him millions.
The system won't let this happen, men are to be monetized and women will never let that slip through their entitlement. IMO men must deny them access.
Canadian viewer here. What couple are you talking about? If they did not move in together and weren’t married, I seriously doubt your story. There is something you’re not telling us.
@learningisfun2108 don't doubt what I say. You can easily find it. Toronto 2020. Micheal Latnerhad to pay 50k / month for 10 yrs. 🎤 drop.
It all makes perfect sense to me.
The inherent unfairness of outcome B (co-existing) is that the woman no longer provides the value she promised, while the man still provides the value he promised.
Not just the value he promised. Legally obligated to maintain.
Perfect!!!
I’d say whenever there is a marriage it should be a contract for a certain amount of time . Say 10 year contract and if you’re miserable at the 10 year mark then it can end with no financial penalty to either party. If everything good sign for another 10 and so on. At least if it’s a miserable marriage you’re not stuck in a lifetime of misery because of this unrealistic lifetime commitment. Just an idea
What I found in my own marriage was my even asserting an opinion on a course of action would trigger aggression: raised voice, exasperation, hand wringing. If I persisted in the disagreement it would invariably lead to the water works and a screaming match. Eventually, you are trained to just relent immediately knowing that, as you said, following through to the end would require enduring the large fight and usually it just isn't worth it. Of course you put your foot down for the big decisions, but the bar for those becomes higher and higher as time goes on. This stopped in my marriage when I got to the point where I stopped giving a shit about her little tantrums and started treating her like a spoiled child. I basically indicated to her that if she didn't like it we could start talking about divorce. Her hegemony was over at that point because she knew I was serious. This is something that a young man can't do that easily because they actually fear the idea of their girl leaving them.
Great story and advice
Great video
Thanks!
Issue with it is the kids. Because it’s not optimal for the kids to be up and down from one place to the other. That has to be exhausting for the children. Unfortunately that’s what has to happen if women don’t change to actually focus on what’s actually best for the children.
I love the idea/ideal! "Totally natural, easygoing" would be great but we are talking about women, so...🙃😉😄
Never objectify a woman.
It hates that.
😂😂😂 well done!
That's the ticket John spot on.
Thanks!
I’d guess the number of really happy marriages is less than 10%. There is typically only contentment, not happiness.
Most people that claim to be “happily married” will also tell you that if they are ever somehow single again, they’ll never marry again.
After marriage, happiness becomes heavily handicapped.
Well stated
Yup! This is me. Contentment and a sexless relationship and marriage. Contentment, knowing I have Shelter, Food and Other Things. There is long time, security and a roommate. Yes, there is divorce. I’m a Messianic Jew and believer in Jesus Christ. In order for me to have sex again, I must be married. But honestly, do I want to get married again?
congrats John on your new Word, a word that totally encapsulates every aspect of the character of a Woman..."Nuttyness" 🏆❤️
Yes! Thank you!
1) Only 6 figure income couples could afford your scenario John
2) Blue collar couples can't afford two homes / Blue collar will not be able to have kids without cohabitate/ really they can't afford kids NOW
That is probably true.
How many men really really want to have kids?
More than I thought.
You should have said how many men thought they
Wanted to have kids
Cause I used to but
Not so sure now
Oxytocin wears out in about 7 years.
The problem with your cunning plan is the assumption that she will be loyal...it will be others sharing her guaranteed
"Old too soon, smart too late." As the age old adage goes. When you get to know a woman within a relationship you have to set the parameters from the beginning. Yes you definitely consult ,letting her know her opinion is respected in that conversation but beyond that it's the guys final decision and she can come along or not as her decision. For this to work she must respect and value you as the leader of the family. If she isn't in this mind frame 'IT' isn't going to work out over the long haul.. Any F**k up is on you though!! For the guy I'd say don't sweat the small stuff and happiness long term may just be yours if you are exceedingly lucky John's estimate at 5% happy together survival rate may be a little low but not out by more than 5% would be my guess. Those are not good odds.
Great ideas, funny 😂
Glad you like them!
interesting ideas...
What you described in this video may be similar to the lifestyle of ancient semi-nomadic hunter-gatherers. Something that drove human evolution for tens of thousands of years and still persists as part of our nature.
In that environment, couples interacted within a group of several dozen people. Everyone would contribute according to their skills, needs and connections. Childcare arrangements would not necessarily require parental cohabitation.
Interesting! Thanks
The problem is not cohabitation it's women
Yup exactly, it's women and the luciferian ideology called feminism that they're under the influence of and practice towards men with the full support and backing from the government.
Even being redpilled, I don’t mind the relationship dance if the women is really TRYING, except legal marriage. I need to be able to leave without court interference (unless we have a child or business together). I wouldnt force relationship expirations, however I am aware it will eventually happen so I just try to enjoy the ride until “she” switches the dynamics. Been working so far.
Great approach!
Word.
Time for a very stiff bachelor's tax for men like this guy.
Thanks Carly! I appreciate that
Dead on correct! My motorcycles, tools ,vehicles ,musical instruments ect. Have to be in their place . And more importantly in a peaceful place.
What you are describing is a very amical divorce where you have 50/50 custody, live very near each other, and you keep having sex.
Keep having sex??? I’m sure there are very few divorces that occur when there is still a very good sex life for both.
I think it is possible under the right conditions with the right woman.
John separation LTR plan would have to be done with a tightly drawn contract or I can see the slippery slope to this type of arrangement. Another problem that could arise is, is each free to seek other contracting partners?
That is a consideration. Thanks
@15:24 I did this with my ex girlfriend but unfortunately she developed into an alcoholic! I can still talk to her just I’m not romantically involved and as a drunk she can be unreasonable at times.
About 3 years ago I met another mid 30s woman desperate for a child but she showed me narcissistic tendencies such as silent treatments hot and cold and some violence and after 10 months of on/off dating gave me a give me a baby ultimatum and I felt that the child could be used as a hostage if I went ahead with her and she wasn’t interested in my concerns and blocked me! In revenge even after two years she tries to provoke me with other men even though she ended it and I may have complied if i had known her for a stable couple of years.
You dodged a bullet; trust me.
Dodged a big bullet!
Great video. John, take a break from recording while jets are overhead. Sound will be better.
Great idea, except that they are constantly overhead. I am near Dulles Airport, National Airport, and Joint Base Andrews. So, between commercial airlines, VIP helicopters, and military jets, I would never get anything done. Perhaps I should find a forest further out. Thanks
Devolving, not evolving.
*And my mother was determined to finding me a good girl in Nepal so we can bring her to the states, all combine our income together to buy a single family home. lol. Women are delusional.*
When I see a athletic intelligent blonde woman I really like, Im secretly thinking - I want you to have my babies. In fact, I know for a fact that if you have substantial money, you can get almost any college age woman that you genuinely like to have your child if you ask directly and mean it. There is no higher honor than to directly ask a woman if he will have your baby. Not even asking her to marry you. She might say no at first to the baby, but she will do it. YMMV. The BIGGEST issue I see with having children in 2024 and beyond is the Christ-less, AI and robot future, One World Marxist government that your offspring will have to survive in during the next 80 to 90 years. They won't have the same childhood we had in the 60s, 70s, 80s. Far from it.
"we (men) dont want to fight(w spouse)" YUP. i know a guy, remarried (did not learn the first time), he thought he found the right one (she had also been divorced). i was having a meal with them. he looked weary and resigned. i suspect he wanted peace at any price from the constant nagging.
As rates of religious belief, rigid morals and marriage have fallen so has social stability and the general level of trust in society.
Single-mother households especially have a destabilizing effect on society and a negative effect on children, especially males.
We think we're so smart and advanced in the modern world - but we are increasingly all more self-centered and narcissistic - choosing ourselves in the present moment over what's good for future generations and our future as a cohesive society.
You’re right! What we need is a return to rigid religious belief! Not!
@@learningisfun2108 The left has already done this. It's called wokeness and it's very rigid - but it's also unforgiving and mentally toxic. I'm an Agnostic myself - but it's pretty clear to me that with the rejection of Christianity and the embrace of secular ideologies the world has gotten worse in many ways. Humans need structure around us to control our basic drives which are hedonistic and bad for society.
lol - GUD LUCK with that - SEX without $$$ :) 80% is a NO GO
Artificial wombs are in development and soon men will be able to have kids without the complications of another woman or a surrogate. All you need is an egg donation. Women, who has complications, can have kids with artificial wombs.
I luv your evil laugh!!
John I have thought about this exact scenario but I end up coming back to the same thing...how would it differ from being an amicable divorce ?... Since I've gone over a few things in my mind let me take a shot 1) Will the relationship be defined as monogamous ? 2) I feel that there should be 1 residence where the children reside with the mother and father having their own places it would be easier than just moving the kids from place to place. 3) I think in the end it's still going to be a contract even if it isn't called marriage..on the bright side it would be negotiated in advance and consequences for breaking the it would be predetermined. I guess there is no such thing as a free lunch so to speak. 4) I think the woman in question are only going to want to do this with the Chad types were once again average Joe is standing out in the cold with nothing while well to do Chad has a herum of women and kids scattered about. Just my thoughts.
Mariage could be viable if women were less naging,complaining and gaslight.
I heard an interesting video that recommended men hire surrogates so they don’t have to worry about losing custody. I think it’s a good idea.
Sounds very reasonable, if both are totally honest and without deception - just don't keep the other parent as a stand-by comfort-relation until you find somebody better, with whom you move hundreds of miles away and the one left behind has to arrange for your kids to get a chance to see their father in his new home with his new partner or mother as the case might be. It is not good for the children to have unhappy parents who don't get along - this coparenting in separate homes might really be better than divorces and conflicts all week long, all decade long. Worst are the full time stay-at-home-parent solutions, much better to take turns. Simple life-style with all necessities with harmonious parents, is all children need, the kids can fix more luxury when they are adults if they want to, and feel proud of it.
Marriage and long term cohabiting relationships sucked. Friends with benefits relationships were fantastic
Society and marriage are very nearly the same thing. A society that "evolves" past marriage is simply dying.
No.
The issue is still cohabitation. However, I feel. Women do get bored short attention span. Sharing a kid at 2 different places might be tough as well. Good idea, in principle, would be a hard sell to women, though. I think women initiate marriage more than men.
I like the idea however i think there is definately a financial barrier to this scenerio working in most cases. It would be quite rare for both parties in the agreement to be financially secure in order to fund a home & children on a single income.
Money is definitely an issue for many, but if you can afford it…