8 Reasons You're Struggling To Own Less
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2024
- Decluttering your life and choosing to own less, can often be a little scary or overwhelming.
Take it from me, when I first started my journey, I was overwhelmed, overthinking, and unsure about a lot. I even contemplated the idea of giving up on owning less, but that was only until I figured out why I was struggling.
So today, I’m sharing eight of the most common and real reasons people struggle to own less.
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Timestamps:
0:00 Intro
0:46 Reason #1: Safety and security
2:02 Reason #2: Guilt and obligation
3:36 Reason #3: Wardrobe shortcomings
5:34 Reason #4: Fantasy self syndrome
7:02 Reason #5: “Just in case”
8:38 Reason #6: Prioritizing organizing
9:38 Reason #7: Past connections
10:44 Reason #8: Sentimental items
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I'm Ron Banks, a minimalist + creative writer sharing my knowledge and inspiration on living a meaningful life with less.
Ronald L. Banks is my journey through lifestyle habits + personal growth. Follow my journey and learn how you can live your meaningful life.
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What’s your biggest roadblock when it comes to owning less?
Anxiety. I get overwhelmed by my things and feel paralyzed to do anything. 😓
Definitely attachment to beautiful (decorative) things I've accumulated over the years- art etc.
I think I will need / read / wear / use it soon...
@@beccyvc5743 ditto
Thinning clothing is hardest for me. Even harder because Covid has interrupted what clothes I might have worn but didn't. I trust I can be brave soon.
Getting rid of stuff is similar to getting rid of toxic people. Both are just products of habits and it's painful to drop them. But your life changes in a good way by doing so.
Love this. Thank you for sharing!!
🙏
great way to put it.
Great scenario
Minimalism is the way to go! To what level you decide to take it, is up to the individual.
My bedroom has just a bed and small a corner table to put my pillows and blankets when changing the sheets.
My closets are designed to use up all the space. I Keep all my clothes and personal care items in there.
It takes no more than 10 minutes to mop and make the bed.
My living room has no coffee or end tables. I have 1 ottoman.
Kitchen is simple as well.
As we age and mobility can become a challenge; having less furniture to trip over and less "stuff" to deal with may help a person stay in their home longer.
Loved your father’s quote! I have a similar one that’s a reminder for myself:
“Status is when you buy something you don’t want, with a money you don’t have, just to show people you don’t like, someone you are not”.
Boy that's a message! That's the one!
"Carefully organized clutter is still clutter." Well said! This has been a HUGE obstacle since I hadn't realized how much of a problem "organized clutter" created until I had to move 3 times within a 5-year period. It was so exhausting wondering, "where is this item?" I've learned and have deeply come to appreciate that If there's not that much stuff, life is less stressful. It's also so much easier to locate things. Now that I've started the process of minimizing, it's so refreshing knowing exactly where everything is. Now, if only I can teach my patients this to decrease their cortisol levels!
Agree, moving makes you acutely aware of how much you own and what you own.
I just decluttered 150 physical books. That was HARD. But I want to keep books I love, will read, or are too beautiful to get rid of. I still have 400 books but 😂
Books are the single catagory of things that would free up the most space in my home but are hardest for me to part with. I can really relate to this struggle.
Wow. You did great! Way to go.
Well done ! I love my books, too ! So hard to part with! Thankfully, over time ( decades), probably half are gone. But my current amount needs to be cut in half. Gotta do it so next time I move, it’s easier ( plus my next home will be smaller).
That 'fantasy self' one really hit home with me.
I would consider myself quite far in to being a minimalist, but if I'm honest with myself, I do still have some items that I'm only keeping around because they reflect who I /want/ to be, or how I want others to perceive me, not who I am.
Thanks for a great video.
"organized clutter is still clutter" That hit different!
My fantasy self loves dresses but practical me wears jeans and t-shirts or sweaters. I let go of 2 dresses with tags but I'm still struggling to let the rest go.
It’s a process for sure. I struggled to let go of many of my old clothes as well, especially those that had tags in them. Remember to go at a pace you’re comfortable with and eventually you’ll get there!
Me too! Covid isn’t helping since I don’t go anywhere
I feel your comment in my soul! Who I fantasize about being is not who I am, but who I am is pretty damn cool. We just have to own it 😉
Bit by bit. My habit is greater in crafting and books. I have to admit my hobbies come in waves and what I intend to make or read sometimes doesn't come to fruition. I have been trying to use what I have and give myself small money allowances (e.x. based on the page count of the books I finish towards future books.) Clothes have been easy for me, though I kept my scrubs for now as I am going into further education and may need them when I get out.
So bit by bit and we will all get there.
I’ve been struggling with “fantasy self syndrome” for years now! As a matter of fact it’s one of the main reasons why I decided to start minimalism. Realizing It definitely helped declutter big spiritual blockages too.
I watched Guilt and Obligation like three times. I feel so guilty letting go of things, yet they collect dust in the back of my closet. And the Past Connections gave me feels too. I lost my husband to a drunk driver in 2004. Letting go of things that were his is still one of the hardest things to do. I still have some of his clothes. Getting rid of them makes me feel like I'm getting rid of him. I know it has been 17 years but it is still hard. Thank you for your videos.
🍃☮️🍃
I'm so sorry you went through this. I admire your courage!
I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe you can select a few to keep and let the rest go to someone who needs it. After my dad passed away,we,the children chose to keep a t shirt and a pair of pants each. Then as the years went by,we gave them away when it no longer hurts . He is forever in our hearts.
Your precious husband is still there with you, we may not be able to see our beloved after they pass but they are with us.
I lost my son in an accident too. I still have all his clothes and toys. Everything else can go first I don't know how to let go of these. I completely understand the feeling of getting rid of their stuff feels like getting rid of them. 💝💝💝
I find it hard to declutter when people love giving gifts. Especially with clothes!
Tell them you would prefer cash or a giftcard in the future, or a donation to a charity in your name.
I wind up selling an expensive gift, it felt more like a burden than a gift.
this is a hard one too but continuing to state that you prefer experiences or gift cards or no gift at all, eventually they start to get it and if they don't, i don't feel guilty about getting rid of the item. the sentiment was received when i felt gratitude.
I always ask for consumables - wine, food, skincare etc. Saves me from buying it and I get a little reminder of the people I love in my day to day.
I normally give edible ou usable gifts, such as the person's favorite hygiene products.
Organising clutter is still clutter.
So, soooo true. I should remember this more frequently 🙂
Love this channel, thank you, Ronald!
Organizing things, like spending time ironing, is a quiet opportunity to contemplate the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe. Same for being stuck in traffic. I wish I was more disorganized as I find tidying up a relaxing activity.
With the mass content produced by female minimalists on TH-cam, it was easy to overlook this video in the search suggestions. Adhering to male stereotypes in my mind, I pondered on what a male could teach me on minimalism (considering that most of my male family members, colleagues, and associates do not shop or accumulate items to the same degree as my female family members, friends, and co-workers). However - THIS WAS ONE OF THE MOST VALUABLE VIDEOS I'VE WATCHED ON MINIMALISM! Thank you for sharing your experiences, thoughts, and reasoning behind many of our self-destructive habits. While some of the information was similar to other videos, your reasoning and logic was different and it is appreciated!
I can really recommend The Minimalist Mom. I discovered her recently and her information has been so valuable for me. (for me it's the opposite I always tend more towards female creators haha. But this video was great too😊)
@Rayanna
Well said!
I really like his style and presentation. I'm glad he threw in the videos of all his clothing to show that he has gone through some of the experience on his own.
I'm on my own decluttering journey and as I make videos of the process, it's definitely harder to watch some other videos where they already seem to have it all together! ...because I don't!🤣😂
@MoonGirl
Yes, I've learned so much from The Minimal Mom, and Dana K White! They are helping me so much!
I like going back and watching their older ones that show how they started out with so much and how the process takes years to get where they are now.
I'm on my own decluttering journey and as I make videos of the process, it's definitely harder to watch some other videos where they already seem to have it all together! ...because I don't!🤣😂
Rayanna: I definitely recommend watching some of his other videos. He has quite a few.
I’ve enjoyed many different YT content makers on this topic, but his approach has helped me more than many others (and I watch a lot of them)!
Letting go of vintage things I've collected (in an effort to "save and preserve' them) and never used or displayed. They are currently in a pile in a spare room waiting to be placed on eBay. I still struggle as I go through each item to photograph it for selling and think "omg...this is so cute. Why am I getting rid of it?" haha. I've come to realize that I can appreciate things without owning them.
you should upload every video to Spotify. your voice is so calming. it would be great to listen while on a walk or working out. you can use distro kid it's like 20 bucks a year.
Its hard to get rid of perfectly good items because its just going to landfills while there can be potential alternative uses for the materials that are thrown away. I think recycling and donation education should be more present. For instance, one of my just incase items is old jeans to use for patching my favorite jeans.
I'm entering motherhood for the first time, due in 4 weeks. I began my minimal journey after finding out that I was pregnant. It's been stressful but rewarding to see my home & wardrobe become more practical, finding clarity through the progress. :)
That's great. Many years ago when my son was born I decided to buy just one major toy for him at Christmas. The first piece was a handmade wooden truck he could sit on when he was a year old. Plus a few small toys in his Christmas stocking. Now he is a father and that is what he and his wife do for their children, although they do buy other toys during the year. They have a minimalist home that is always clutter-free.
Sounds so fun for the children. Selfish
I in no way want to become a minimalist but I do want to reduce the amount of stuff I have and feel there is a happy medium out there for me. I’ve watched many videos, listened to podcasts and read books and you are the first person that has not only made sense to me, but I’ve been able to identify with everything you’ve listed. Although I fall into all categories the three that really resonated with me are #1 #4!!! and #6.
I’m saying damn! Nailed it! When he said you have all the kitchen stuff because maybe your fantasy self wants people to look at you as a good cook. That’s absolutely true. I can’t tell you how much stuff I bought for “ other people” yes, I bought it for me, but the goal is to impress someone else. I hate to say it- but it clicks with low self esteem.
Financial Simplicity has actually been so rewarding
My fantasy self and identity is tied to many things I own; however, as I age I must let go as my ability to do certain things have gone.
I've started just by getting rid of a few items every day in the morning and it is truly adding up
Fantasy self items were my sneakiest holdovers. Even after multiple rounds of decluttering and the 'Mins game' I realized I was still holding onto some 'ideal me' items. Luckily decluttering the obvious stuff makes it harder for those Someday and What If type items to hide. I was finally able to let go newly obvious items like my old soccer cleats for a league I was maybe going to join one day (nope!), and a battery alarm clock for when I finally banish my phone from my bedroom (finally accepted it's never gonna happen 🤷♀️🤯)
I have one of those alarm clocks. I am still afraid that I won't wake up without my phone's alarm (cause I can set 20.of them )
Im still working on my minimalist life journey… I’ve learned that the more you practice getting rid of stuff by selling, donating, etc… the easier it becomes. It’s definitely a work in progress.
Moving is a great time to see how many things you own and let go of things that may not fit in your new setting.
I am also starting my journey to declutter! I think the hardest part about owning less is because we add so much sentiment to each item and its hard to let it go
Just in case items are my nightmare. I'm glad u told me to stop holding them
this guy is sweet. although i usually post cr-ap and like to poke fun and make content creators feel miserable, but i feel that this guy doesn't deserve such a thing. his smile is awesome, but he fake smiles too often.
You're good Ronald. This is the most rational and reassuring voice on this topic. Thank you.
I agree, it's very informative and his voice is so soothing it's like medicine. "Orgainised clutter is still clutter" I'm decluttering now! Best wishes from Ireland.
Love your channel Ronald. I actually have thought about that concept of money has already been spent - so as a reframe, I tell myself I would like to “buy something “ for myself sometimes and that is to “buy “the release of something that is neither service me or making me feel good.
So I go into my closet and say “I’m going to buy you a 30 dollar item- let’s get rid of that sweater that is itchy and you know you don’t want it”. That way I feel like somehow I am not being wasteful.
I had to replay this video several times because it hit home and I wanted to be sure to have the concepts you presented, ingrained to help me adjust my mindset. Thank you so much for explaining in such a logical manner and I enjoy hearing your soothing voice.
Yes i love that
True that.
Same here a really great peptalk for me
For me it’s the security thing. My family was homeless for a time when I was a kid. I have such a hard time letting go of anything sentimental because it feels like letting go of my history and security.
These are all good points, as usual. Another thing that you might not think of given your relative youth is that many older people grew up in the 1930s Great Depression - or were close enough to it to have horror stories from family members about it. They knew viscerally what it was like to lose everything and/or not be able to buy anything due to poverty, so they tend to cling to EVERYTHING they own. Also, now on fixed income, they can't easily replace stuff. Old habits die hard.
So wise and insightful, Ron! These are points that I often have to remind myself...stuff is just stuff (all but the essential) and should never be given that much weight. I took a break from social media, including youtube, to recenter and now that I'm carefully and intentionally returning, I am thrilled to see your growth and how many more people you are reaching...well deserved!!
I’m glad you enjoyed this Katie, but I’m happy you took the necessary time you needed for yourself. That’s extremely important and I’m sure you’re glad you did that! Also thank you for being apart of this community! I appreciate you! Keep growing and learning!
This channel always makes me feel so much peacefulness
I’m glad I can bring you a sense of peace Rachel! Keep growing!!
'You should get rid of anything that is not serving you, adding value to your life, or is used enough to justify it taking up space in your space' - R.L. Banks. I loved how used the word space to define our space. It goes beyond the home and office and into heart and mind. It puts a new framework on it. When I look at my Yoga clutter I feel happy. It's not invading the corner of my room. But something else would be, even if I had the physical space to keep it.
I’m really happy you picked up on this! You’re absolutely right, the clutter in our life goes beyond the physical things we can see and when we shift our perspective a little bit I can and will have a major impact on your journey! Keep growing and learning!
I just moved and was extremely overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I own. I’m also struggling with getting a cohesive wardrobe so I plan to explore that. Other than that, I’m on a shopping hiatus, especially for hair products, makeup, and cute knick knacks .
Your smile is the 80% of your outfit 😁 You just need that grey shirt...
"Fantasy Self" wooooooo. You came with deep truths and my ego could not take it😂😂😂. Thank you so much for this video! I'm doing a deep clean out and this has been really helpful!
I’m glad this resonated with you Kate! Our fantasy self can create a major roadblock on our decluttering journey so I’m happy this caught your attention and is helping you! 🙌🏾
Decluttering is not the issue for me - its what to do with it after decluttering it! TRying to sell it online results in me holding onto the things for much longer, donating it is ideal but I dont want it to just end up at a landfill if goodwill cant take it.
I recognise that...
Maybe you could try giving it away for free on facebook marketplace or craigslist? It's usually a lot quicker than trying to sell
Give it to a small charity that has a thrift store. They are much less likely to send it to the landfill than Goodwill. I give my donations to a thrift shop that supports pet rescue.
Depending on what you are getting rid of, doctors offices (toys), homeless shelters, foster programs, and libraries are all good spaces to donate.
Gifts are always hard for me to get rid of because I feel guilty, ungrateful but you are definitely helping me see it differently x
I’m glad this video is challenging your thinking Shirley. If you have any questions don’t hesitate to ask!
So true! Thanks for the tips 🙏🏽
I just discovered your channel today, and love listening to you. Everything you say makes so much sense, and you touched on everything that I have trouble dealing with. It makes me and I’m sure everyone else realize we aren’t the only ones dealing with owning too much. I always feel so good when I get rid of stuff, whether donating, or hauling it off to the resale shop.
Thank you so much Karen! Welcome to the community as well. Glad you decided to subscribe. If you have any questions at anytime don’t hesitate to ask!
"The struggle is REAL" someone once told me that and I will ALWAYS remember that statement!!!!! Living with LESS will bring you so MUCH more!!! Awesome video as a fellow "minimalist"!!!... Kudos!!!
Thank you! Glad you found value in this!
Thanks!!! so good!
Man, the amount of peaceful vibes in your voice and expression made me subscribe almost right away.
Awesome! Welcome to the community my friend! Glad you decided to subscribe!
Thank you so much for this video. Just started my decluttering journey and already feel like I’m failing but this is really inspiring and I’m going to use these points to help me with my journey :)
Spot on... perfect...well said
Thank you for this video 👏
This video was one of the most helpful videos I have watched on decluttering. I have been decluttering for a while, but felt like I had hit a roadblock recently. Your video gave me some things to think about. Thank you!
Thank you, again.🤗
really enjoyed your video, great tips
Great video!
Just in case items. When March 2020 hit and the virus was just getting started made me cling to everything. Now even today I am struggling because that panic is still in my head. Things are a lot more back to normal for my family but that uncertainty holds me from getting rid of things.
Awesome video man. Agree with the points entirely. I've struggled and still do but I'm getting there. Especially with stuff I had bought but not used or not used much. I felt like I should keep it as I had spent money on them. Thanks for the advice!
Your mindset is so helpful, thank you!
Love your videos, always inspiring to be better! 😚 thank you!
You make videos that enrich my life and give a lot of food for thought, thank you. This is true, it's not just sentimental items or fantasy self, it's the items that represent our past selves, make up our identity, are so hard to get rid of...I'm moving soon, have been decluttering since the end of July. I've made so much progress, but so much ahead of me still!
Wow great tips! Love this
Truth. Thank you.
Excellent information!
Thank you for this video. So very helpful!
#6 !!! Thank you for this clarification !!!
Hi Ronald …. I recent found your channel and I’m really enjoying it. I’m an avid follower of minimalists and have achieved a much more pared down look for my home and wardrobe.
Your point about organising really resonated with me. I do tend to spend a lot of time organising and then reorganising and buying new containers. The look I like the most is simple with clear spaces and I hadn’t actually realised that I need to stop organising and only keep those things I truly love or need. Thank you
great video!
Thanks for the chapters! Good reference.
Really enjoyed your video. Thank you.
Funny this comes in my feed. I was just saying today less is more. And I need to declutter Even more than what I've done over the past year.
Thanks for sharing these ideas Ron. Always love hearing what you have to say! I struggle most with feeling like I MIGHT use something in the future. Usually it's something I just kind of like now, but once loved. Usually a home decor piece or an item of clothing. These are the two most difficult categories for me to declutter, and the things that I am most tempted to purchase! I appreciate you sharing!😊💗
Fantastic video. Thank you
Your messages are so inspirational and they have helped me so much with my minimalism journey. Thank you!
So glad I stumbled onto your channel! Thank you for what you do :)
Quality video and information
Ty for this! Very helpful! 💕 Fantasy self is in so many areas! My clothes, kitchen stuff, art stuff, yard/garden stuff, books & more. Wow… the decluttering journey continues.
So glad to find you. Nobody has explained the emotions connected to your stuff. They say: donate, trash or save. But, many of us do feel guilty.
Thank you. Tina
Great points Ron. My husband is the one who struggles with some day items and sentimental items. Although he is starting to let go.
the video was fantastic, I'm going to use so much of the recommendations you gave. thank you.
Simply put, this was a very well thought out & genuinely helpful video
Awesome video with new ideas
The very first thing you said about feeling secure really resonated with me.
You got to rhe heart of it, very intuitive and relatable.
You are so smart; LOVE your perspectives!
You make sense out of all my worries..Thank You..
I really enjoy your videos for how personal and intimate they feel- like you really show your heart and the true lessons you have learned in a very personable way that I can actually relate to.
My biggest roadblock on my eco minimalist journey so far has been art supplies relating to my fantasy self. I really feel insecure about calling myself an artist at my beginner level and, while I know that having a bunch of cool art supplies (some in mediums I don't even use!) won't make up my art game alone, I still struggle to let go of this fantasy self.
Wow, i feel so busted and exposed! Oh My gosh! Fantasy self, past connections, just in case, sentimental ,WOW, you got me on so many things! Ouch, but i needed to hear it. 😮❤
Your videos are excellent! This one has helped me address an ongoing issue within our household of people wanting to hold on to things that are absolutely not needed or used. We are working on a total de-clutter and it feels so good! Thank you so much for your info and most of all, your energy. Great energy being put out in the world from you.
I binge your channel when I need inspiration to keep decluttering and to be mindful when making purchases. Thank you!!
Really well said, Ronald. Very thoughtful and well expressed. Thank you.
These were great points. Loved the video and the calm vibe. ✨
Well done
Donating and decluttering while I'm listening to this video. Thank you for the inspirations!
This video really resonates with me. Also the grief sentiment really made me think!!
Oof. This hit all the big reasons I’m struggling. Thank you! So glad I came across your video!
I love how relatable you are! You have a very well-spoken and non-judgmental way of explaining things. All of these reasons hit home for me! Thank you for this amazing video!
Love the fact that you wear saucony. So underrated!
I struggle because growing up, I was so deprived of everything. I didnt own a cell phone until i was 21. When I started earning, I went all out and bought everything I wanted. At 29, I bought my dream car. At 30, I've decided to slow down and stop my overconsumption. I'm not in debt but I could save a lot more and own a lot less. 2022 is going to be my year of minimalism.
Lovely video. I love your friendly personality.
Where have you been? You're the first person who really speaks to me and my struggles. Thank you and I can't wait to start my declutter journey with your help
First time watching your videos. Thank you, all the tips you said sound very usefull for starting a minimalist life style. :)