Vicki I play your videos over and over they bring me comfort. My Husband of 55 years is in stage four of Alzheimer’s Dementia and he knows what he doesn’t know and it is heart breaking watching him struggle to speak because he cannot remember the words he was going to use. God is walking with me through this trying time as a caregiver. ❤
My husband of 58 years is probably at the end of stage 4 going into stage 5. He also has trouble remembering what words he wants to say. He is very angry all the time and calls me names and I know this is just this disease but it is so hard to deal with, sometimes I feel like I just want to get away and go somewhere else but I realize I can't do that, I hate this awful disease!
Pamela J Aww! I’m so glad!!! Have you joined our group on Facebook?? We would love to have you! Link in description!! I just love to love on caregivers. We are right there for you!
My Dad suffered with vascular dementia after a massive stroke. He went to bed one night and when he woke up the next morning --- he was never the same. When I arrived on the scene (after his stroke) --- he never knew who I was and he called me, "that girl". He lived for 8 months after his stroke and another massive stroke took him out of this world. Those 8 months were some of the most stressful months of my life but even though he didn't remember who I was --- I knew who he was and I'm so very thankful for that time I had with him. He's in Heaven now and I know I'll see him again soon.
And I'm watching your video in January 2023 because my Father-in-Law is in stage 5 of Dementia and I'm still on a learning journey. Thank you for sharing this video.
Hi Vicky, I've been working with dementia residents for 18 months now and have a great relationship and understanding with them. Even witg my knowledge and experience with the condition, I still sort out advice because today my nan was diagnosed and I just felt like crumbling. She's not as severe as those you see in care fascilities that are obviously demented and is straddling 4 and 5. I'm just scared and your videos helped me come back to reality. Like you, I sing to my residents and just make them happy. I know I will handle it but it's going to be difficult for others. Thank you for this x
Aussie Aussie Aussie Good Morning! Thank you for sharing your experience. Come join us on the group!!! We would LOVE to have your expertise and experience represented!! The link is in the description part under the video. Sorry to hear about your Nan, but what a wonderful thing that you are experienced and will be able to understand her journey just a little easier. Take care! Thanks for the comment! ♥️ Vicky
Thank you so much for your insight and honesty in helping to understand this horrible disease. I’ve been my moms caregiver for 5+ years with Alzheimer’s, 7 days a week. It’s physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting and some days you pray to just get through an hour, not a day. It’s been so long since I’ve had time to breathe, relax or time to myself but know that God gives me strength and patience when I feel depleted. Thank you❤
My sister is mom's main caregiver. She's stage 5 going into 6. I drive 1300 miles each way once a month and spend 7-9 days to relieve her. We have a senior center that has a program offering respite relief for caregivers. I recommend it. I'm praying for you. This is very difficult.
@@Daysleeper1000 what you do for your sister and mom is so appreciated by both I promise, especially your sister. We live in a small rural area, no respite centers or daycare type places. I’d give anything to have a break once in awhile just if nothing else to relax, breathe and pray for strength to keep going. It’s such a heartbreaking disease💔. Thank you for the prayers, sincerely appreciated more than you’ll ever know🙏
@@debby891 my mom lives in a smallish town, but fortunately, their county received a grant for this program. I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this alone. It's EXHAUSTING 😞 as you very well know. I will remain faithful in prayer. He can get you through this.
What a lovely person you are. You explain things with emotion,not just facts about this terrible disease. My Mom in law is probably in stage 4 and she gets so frustrated when she can't remember things,I feel so bad for her.She still does puzzles and crosswords and reads the paper. When she went to the neurologist about 5 weeks ago, she could still draw the clock and the right time he told her.She remembered the words he told her maybe she forgot one, but the frustration with not remembering where things are. My fiance and I will say to each other.."oh don't even ask her where THAT is,just we'll look for it."She doesn't remember the doctor appointments anymore even though she has them on her calender. Now she forgets to look at the calender. She used to drive to appointments now she asks if somebody is taking her.Sometimes she'll say"well if you can't I think I can drive". She still goes to the grocery store and my fiance just had "the talk" with her about not driving and she seemed not to take too much offense and said she didn't want to get in an accident.Then when the aid asked if she could take the car to drive my dad in law to the doctor,she said"oh no I might have to use it." So she obviously forgot "the talk." He told her he might take the keys if he checks the mileage and she drove. This stage is hard!
It is so hard! But do you remember that every behavior has a natural end. I have a video about that. But basically you have already experienced that, what I describe in that video, is that because of their memory loss things are easily forgotten. Arguments are forgotten, wanting to drive the car, are often forgotten. Also, when they slip into a deeper stage, the behavior that you have seen resolves. Hang in there! All my ❤️
Thank you for your videos. You can prove the emotional connection to scent. I don't have the exact sources on me, but the sense of smell is the most direct connection to the limbic system of any sense. You are helping me understand my grandma and what she is going thru.
I’ve learned so much from your videos, thank you. I believe my mom is straddling the line between 4 and 5. She lives in the independent living wing of a facility now but I wouldn’t be surprised if she has to move to memory care soon. She lives in another state so I don’t see her often but I notice the decline when we talk on the phone. I call her every day but she sleeps so much now that I seem to always be waking her up, no matter what time of day. Conversing with her is nearly impossible unless she is fully awake. Dementia is hard, especially long distance.
Mother-in-Law just diagnosed with early stage dementia. Father- in- Law ,not in good health . Their only child is my husband, so .... I'm thankful for your videos so I can be informed of what to expect as a soon to be caregiver.
Aww! Thank you. It has always been one of my favorite things...singing to anyone in need of comfort...a baby or a old person. So soothing to them AND me.
I am simply sharing God’s gift to me. I have been in this industry for 30 years, and I cannot imagine going a day without thinking about how to help people with dementia and their caregivers. It is my absolute honor. Thank you so much for your comment.
I feel my husband is Stage 4.8. His anger is awful I walk on eggshells and actually had to leave my house and came back 45 minutes later because he was screaming at me and he didn't even remember any outbursts of anger. He's a strong fit 70 yr old.
Lorraine Pellegrino bless you. You are not alone! We have a great support group over on Facebook. Link is in description of video. You will find some people who understand exactly the anger that can accompany dementia. And there are techniques and, sometimes, meds, that help. We would love to have you over there!!
After watching some of your 7 stages videos, I'm able to determine my mom is definitely somewhere in stage 6. She has already gone through all the stage five things and many of the stage 6 things. I just don't know how much more I can take. It's hard. I can tell that the progression of stages is speeding up. It took her a long time to get to stage 4, then a little less time to get to stage 5, and much less time to get to stage 6. So I am thinking it may get worse even faster now. Some may say otherwise, but IMO, my mom has no quality of life left. She frantically paces and gathers junk all day long, carrying it in her arms or packing it into bags or boxes. Much of it is trash. I wish she could relax and find peace! From my perspective, she is in a state of hell. I think death would be a vast improvement, especially if there is a heaven. As bad as it may sound, I will be glad, and happy for my mom where she makes that transition. I know I'll be a bag of mixed emotions, but I have no doubt that many of my tears will be tears will be tears of JOY! And speaking of JOY, I hope I have a few years left to experience that again! Both me and my mom have been robbed by her dementia! It has actually been much harder on me than her since stage 5.
Subscribed. All the other videos and things I've read it seemed my mom fit well in to stage 6. Now I am not so sure. She does seem to display all the markers for Lewy Bodies. She is 85 and had declined significantly in the past 6 months. She can't form complete sentences and stutters, does not know who I am or how many children she has. She still smiles but I see a lot of blank moments. She has lived with me 5 years and I have recently hired someone to come sit with her a couple times a week just so my husband and I can feel like we have a life. I definitely love the way you explain things and am ready to watch more.
Thanks for the comment. People can "straddle" the stages, so that may be what you are experiencing with your mom. When they are moving from one stage to the other, along the edge, you can see moments of one stage, moments of another. I'm so happy you are finding help in my explanations! We would love to have you over in the Facebook group if you are interested! Click through the link in the description! ~Vicky
My sweet Mamaw is in stage 5ish with vascular dementia. In the last few weeks, my Papaw is now "the mean man that tells her what to do." She knows my mom and knows me and my sister, but she thinks my mom is ypunger, and my sister and I are kids. So she remembers me but not as a 42 year old woman, and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm Melissa and I'm grown and not 10 years old.
That is so common. You figured out the difference in how she sees you…that’s a big realization that some people don’t grasp. Are you in the group?? It’s such a special place! m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
I wish I knew more about my sister-in-law’s dementia. She didn’t have insurance and didn’t qualify for Medicaid until she was admitted to an Alzheimer’s unit. So we didn’t have a neurologist consult. Just 61y/o when diagnosed. Delusions was our first symptom. She’s been doing well but we notice she is declining. She sees people in the home and she thinks it’s family members and friends. Thinks her uncle (Hardy) was really Johnny Cash. She’s kin to the actor on tv.... This has been happening for about 2-3 months. I hate dementia. Just wish I could talk to an expert to get questions answered! Just found your videos! I’m binging on them now!❤️ Thank you!!
Dovie Tomplait keep watching! And we have a group over on Facebook full of professional and personal caregivers who would be more than happy to help answer questions!! The link is above in the description of the video!! Come on over!!
In my experience, usually around Stage 5. That’s when sometimes toileting becomes an issue Also behavior changes in some people. This are the two top reasons for placement.
I would guess it took a year for my loved one, in her late seventies, to move from what I assess as stage three to stage four. I wonder how soon she will enter stage five.
I HAD AN UNCLE IN A NURSING HOME,I WOULD VISIT HIM AND EVEN IF HIS BACK WAS TO THE DOOR I WOULD GO IN KISS HIM ON TOP OF HIS HEAD AND AT THAT MOMENT HE WOULD START LAUGHING AND SAY MY NAME WITHOUT SEEING ME.HE REMEMBERED
My 94 year old mother is now in this stage. She has lived on her own for 32 years since dad died and absolutely refuses to consider going into a Care Home despite her constant decline and neediness. Mother has carers twice a day for 6 days a week and remembers nothing about them. She is deaf,semi - continent and has mobility issues but refuses to use a walking stick or incontinence underwear unless challenged and ordered to. Mother help receives from her care package which include a hairdresser, cleaner and chiropodist. She has no recollection of any of their services. The thought of singing to her, giving her a massage and showing affection, are alien concepts for me. I no longer have love or respect for a mother who disappeared long ago, to be replaced with a stubborn, non - compliant and totally ungrateful replica.
Watch the video of mine on Narcissism and the one on “Loved one? Not Mine”…I will try to attach the links to the videos but it doesn’t always work. (user error I’m sure!) And join the group on Facebook. So many situation similar to this. It is a true SUPPORT group. Sorry for the journey, but you are not alone. I promise. All my love, Vicky
You speak of hard things. Please try to remember it is not intentional. Similar to the person who has a learning disability, your loved one has a damaged brain-literally the brain is permanently damaged with necessary portions destroyed by the disease. She is not “ungrateful” but brain damaged. It is confusing to me because some areas appear to be working but even they are poor. (Example: who in their un-diseased mind would be content to wet or soil themselves? No one. It’s not just memory which is impaired but the ability to incorporate information and make logical decisions. All sorts of skills such as planning, organising, etc have gone away with the disease eating at the brain.) Adult Social Care may come assess. Anonymous referral or a trusted other person? I pray and hope you find ways to cope with your hurt and anger, which may be related to understandable grief about so many losses. Maybe please remember she is not mentally competent though in a partly functioning body, like a brain injured adult. Looks capable but very impaired. May you seek and find true wisdom
Thankyou so much to Vicky and K for your heartfelt comments on my mother. I understand that her capacity to be the mother I once knew , was slowly and surely slipping away. Mother was hospitalised after a fall in June 2022 and after a final assessment, her capacity was deemed to be incapable of her being returned home. She was admitted into a Care Home in July 2022 and mother never accepted the fact that this was to be her final abode. She passed away peacefully with myself and my siblings at her bedside in December. Her long arduous journey finally over. We were relieved and blessed that she would suffer no longer.
But You know what a birthday is! And you can celebrate with her even though it she doesn’t know what a birthday is she knows what celebration is! Try to remember that you still know her, even if she doesn’t know you. Celebrate her!
I wonder what stage my mom is in. She talks about the past n long ago almost constantly. Cant remember what day it is. She will ask 5 or 6 times a day what day is today 😭
I think you are watching the right video! Lots of confusion and worries in 5. In 6 they get more settled because they don’t seem to be as bothered by their losses. All my love.
I wish that were the case with my mom. He is like the energizer bunny and will only sit to eat, and even tries to walk around while she's eating. And the entire time she is walking around, she is picking up things and moving them or stashing them in a bag or box, or drawer. Dealing with her is exhausting! I give her every opportunity to stay in bed as long as she wants, but she usually gets up around 12 pm. Just be glad your partner doesn't wonder at night. My mom went through a stage where she would get up out of bed late at night and start wondering around her room in the dark. She would keep me awake all night. ENJOY the peace you have while they are sleeping and be glad for them for being relaxed enough to sleep.
Hey Cindy, thanks for the comment! Usually it is down in stage five when they no longer know what they don’t know… If that makes sense. And it is usually when the frontal lobe has been attacked by dementia. I have a couple of videos about inappropriate sexual behavior, and I will link those below. Again, thanks for the comment, and I hope that this provided some insight for you. Again, I always say if you are not a member of the group, come on over! This is a “hot“ topic for conversation. It is certainly not isolated. All my love on this very hard journey, Vicky ❤️
I got chills reading your post. White Shoulders was my mother's favorite. I have the last bottle that she ever used. She kept it in the pink box it came in. That is a very fond memory of my sweet mother. I am here because my dad is in the moderate stages of AD. I believe he has recently slipped into stage 5. In July he was diagnosed with mild AD. By October the memory care doctor said he was in the moderate stages. He is progressing very quickly. About two weeks ago, I realized he longer knows he is 87. That he will be 88 on May 5.
@@DementiaWithGrace I am a new subscriber. Thank you. I just finished watching two of your videos. Going to watch more tomorrow. This Alabama gal is already a big fan. I am currently helping my 87 year old adoptive father with AD. January 19, 2018 he underwent triple bypass surgery here at UAB. At the time he had mild dementia. Within 36 hours post opt he went into a sever state of delirium. A cranial MRI was done shortly after his 87th Birthday last May. Resulting in several diagnosis. Right frontal lobe meningioma, stroke in the right ventricle, normal pressure hydrocephalus, white matter disease and deterioration in the memory areas of his brain. Last July he was formally diagnosed with mild stage AD. By the time we returned to the Memory Care Clinic at UAB last October. He had advanced into the moderate stages of AD. Two weeks ago, I started noticing that he is quickly slipping into stage 5. He no longer knows his age or Birthday. His eating habits have changed drastically. I will be discussing this with his primary care physician on Monday. Just wanted to let you know that your videos are the best I have seen on TH-cam. They are greatly appreciated. God bless you.
Sarah Crain your feedback means so much. So sorry that you and your father are on this journey, but happy to come alongside you now and help you in any way I can. Have you found our Support Group on Facebook? It is a fabulous group of people. The link is in the video description. I’m in there daily answering questions! Hope to see you there! ~Vicky
I’m so sorry. I bet her soul knows you are someone She loves. Do you have a song or a TV program or something like that that you used to watch together? Play that and see if she can make a connection! Soups recognize souls. I believe that wholeheartedly!
Vicki I play your videos over and over they bring me comfort. My Husband of 55 years is in stage four of Alzheimer’s Dementia and he knows what he doesn’t know and it is heart breaking watching him struggle to speak because he cannot remember the words he was going to use. God is walking with me through this trying time as a caregiver. ❤
My husband of 58 years is probably at the end of stage 4 going into stage 5. He also has trouble remembering what words he wants to say. He is very angry all the time and calls me names and I know this is just this disease but it is so hard to deal with, sometimes I feel like I just want to get away and go somewhere else but I realize I can't do that, I hate this awful disease!
Exactly. I am 80. Watching myself slide down from stage 4, now 5. Grumpy. Sad.
Watching from time to time as I forget I am nearer stage 6 monthly.
Thank you so much for this video. I believe my mom is in stage 5. I just moved her into assisted living. It's so hard!
I’m going thru stage 5. Try to warn family. They are busy with personal troubles.
Sweet girl, you calmed ME down with Peace in the Valley. Thank you.
Pamela J Aww! I’m so glad!!! Have you joined our group on Facebook?? We would love to have you! Link in description!! I just love to love on caregivers. We are right there for you!
My Dad suffered with vascular dementia after a massive stroke. He went to bed one night and when he woke up the next morning --- he was never the same. When I arrived on the scene (after his stroke) --- he never knew who I was and he called me, "that girl". He lived for 8 months after his stroke and another massive stroke took him out of this world. Those 8 months were some of the most stressful months of my life but even though he didn't remember who I was --- I knew who he was and I'm so very thankful for that time I had with him. He's in Heaven now and I know I'll see him again soon.
And I'm watching your video in January 2023 because my Father-in-Law is in stage 5 of Dementia and I'm still on a learning journey. Thank you for sharing this video.
BTW - I just subbed to your channel.
Bless you. It’s a hard journey. All my love…Vicky
Where can I find your list.I would like to print it out. I think my husband would be at stage 4 . Greetings from Ireland to you.
Hi Vicky,
I've been working with dementia residents for 18 months now and have a great relationship and understanding with them. Even witg my knowledge and experience with the condition, I still sort out advice because today my nan was diagnosed and I just felt like crumbling.
She's not as severe as those you see in care fascilities that are obviously demented and is straddling 4 and 5.
I'm just scared and your videos helped me come back to reality. Like you, I sing to my residents and just make them happy.
I know I will handle it but it's going to be difficult for others.
Thank you for this x
Aussie Aussie Aussie Good Morning! Thank you for sharing your experience. Come join us on the group!!! We would LOVE to have your expertise and experience represented!! The link is in the description part under the video. Sorry to hear about your Nan, but what a wonderful thing that you are experienced and will be able to understand her journey just a little easier. Take care! Thanks for the comment! ♥️ Vicky
@@DementiaWithGrace I'd love to join the group. It's also 12:10am here in Australia... so I guess "good morning" is still the appropriate greeting 🙃
Yes ma’am! It is 8:45am here in Alabama, USA! ♥️
Thank you so much for your insight and honesty in helping to understand this horrible disease. I’ve been my moms caregiver for 5+ years with Alzheimer’s, 7 days a week. It’s physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting and some days you pray to just get through an hour, not a day. It’s been so long since I’ve had time to breathe, relax or time to myself but know that God gives me strength and patience when I feel depleted. Thank you❤
My sister is mom's main caregiver. She's stage 5 going into 6. I drive 1300 miles each way once a month and spend 7-9 days to relieve her. We have a senior center that has a program offering respite relief for caregivers. I recommend it. I'm praying for you. This is very difficult.
@@Daysleeper1000 what you do for your sister and mom is so appreciated by both I promise, especially your sister. We live in a small rural area, no respite centers or daycare type places. I’d give anything to have a break once in awhile just if nothing else to relax, breathe and pray for strength to keep going. It’s such a heartbreaking disease💔. Thank you for the prayers, sincerely appreciated more than you’ll ever know🙏
@@debby891 my mom lives in a smallish town, but fortunately, their county received a grant for this program. I'm so very sorry you are dealing with this alone. It's EXHAUSTING 😞 as you very well know. I will remain faithful in prayer. He can get you through this.
What a lovely person you are. You explain things with emotion,not just facts about this terrible disease. My Mom in law is probably in stage 4
and she gets so frustrated when she can't remember things,I feel so bad for her.She still does puzzles and crosswords and reads the paper.
When she went to the neurologist about 5 weeks ago, she could still draw the clock and the right time he told her.She remembered the words he told her maybe she forgot one, but the frustration with not remembering where things are. My fiance and I will say to each other.."oh don't even ask her where THAT is,just we'll look for it."She doesn't remember the doctor appointments anymore even though she has them on her calender. Now she forgets to look at the calender. She used to drive to appointments now she asks if somebody is taking her.Sometimes she'll say"well if you can't I think I can drive". She still goes to the grocery store and my fiance just had "the talk" with her about not driving and she seemed not to take too much offense and said she didn't want to get in an accident.Then when the aid asked if she could take the car to drive my dad in law to the doctor,she said"oh no I might have to use it." So she obviously forgot "the talk." He told her he might take the keys if he checks the mileage and she drove. This stage is hard!
It is so hard! But do you remember that every behavior has a natural end. I have a video about that. But basically you have already experienced that, what I describe in that video, is that because of their memory loss things are easily forgotten. Arguments are forgotten, wanting to drive the car, are often forgotten. Also, when they slip into a deeper stage, the behavior that you have seen resolves. Hang in there! All my ❤️
Thank you You are the most precious caring soul I have ever seen. You radiate the love of Jesus Christ.
Absolutely the best compliment I could ever receive. That is my primary desire. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your videos. You can prove the emotional connection to scent. I don't have the exact sources on me, but the sense of smell is the most direct connection to the limbic system of any sense. You are helping me understand my grandma and what she is going thru.
I love the song, There will be peace in the valley, you have a beautiful voice and also a very calming speaking voice. Thank you for you! ❤️
That's beautiful you said "Soul Connection" Amen.
Thankful it helped you. Love, Vicky
I’ve learned so much from your videos, thank you. I believe my mom is straddling the line between 4 and 5. She lives in the independent living wing of a facility now but I wouldn’t be surprised if she has to move to memory care soon. She lives in another state so I don’t see her often but I notice the decline when we talk on the phone. I call her every day but she sleeps so much now that I seem to always be waking her up, no matter what time of day. Conversing with her is nearly impossible unless she is fully awake. Dementia is hard, especially long distance.
Thank you for this video. My mom is definately in Stage 5. Thank you!!
MissBooks same with mom in law 🙏
Sorry. I m approaching that w my dad
AMAZING INFORMATION, I am well into this journey [past 5]; and your help will never be forgotten. signed, dp
Mother-in-Law just diagnosed with early stage dementia. Father- in- Law ,not in good health . Their only child is my husband, so .... I'm thankful for your videos so I can be informed of what to expect as a soon to be caregiver.
I’m so glad! 🙂
My mother in law is approaching stage 5. Thank you for the videos, your an angel🙏✨
Nonchalance.1 thank you so much!!! You are an angel for being a caregiver!!!!!!! ♥️🦩♥️
My mom too
bless your heart for putting this info out for people who really need to know👍
Thank you for your sweet comments! You are welcome to join the group as well! Link in description! ♥️Vicky
Oh my, your singing voice is beautiful. Almost made me cry picturing you singing to them.
Aww! Thank you. It has always been one of my favorite things...singing to anyone in need of comfort...a baby or a old person. So soothing to them AND me.
This is so helpful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 💜
Of course!!
You are a gift from God
I am simply sharing God’s gift to me. I have been in this industry for 30 years, and I cannot imagine going a day without thinking about how to help people with dementia and their caregivers. It is my absolute honor. Thank you so much for your comment.
I feel my husband is Stage 4.8. His anger is awful I walk on eggshells and actually had to leave my house and came back 45 minutes later because he was screaming at me and he didn't even remember any outbursts of anger. He's a strong fit 70 yr old.
Lorraine Pellegrino bless you. You are not alone! We have a great support group over on Facebook. Link is in description of video. You will find some people who understand exactly the anger that can accompany dementia. And there are techniques and, sometimes, meds, that help. We would love to have you over there!!
Lorraine Pellegrino 🙏
you are a real lovely person and you'v helped me a lot.thank you.xx
That's perfectly explained they know what they don't know. Now I know where mom is transitioning into 5.
After watching some of your 7 stages videos, I'm able to determine my mom is definitely somewhere in stage 6. She has already gone through all the stage five things and many of the stage 6 things. I just don't know how much more I can take. It's hard. I can tell that the progression of stages is speeding up. It took her a long time to get to stage 4, then a little less time to get to stage 5, and much less time to get to stage 6. So I am thinking it may get worse even faster now. Some may say otherwise, but IMO, my mom has no quality of life left. She frantically paces and gathers junk all day long, carrying it in her arms or packing it into bags or boxes. Much of it is trash. I wish she could relax and find peace! From my perspective, she is in a state of hell. I think death would be a vast improvement, especially if there is a heaven. As bad as it may sound, I will be glad, and happy for my mom where she makes that transition. I know I'll be a bag of mixed emotions, but I have no doubt that many of my tears will be tears will be tears of JOY! And speaking of JOY, I hope I have a few years left to experience that again! Both me and my mom have been robbed by her dementia! It has actually been much harder on me than her since stage 5.
Everywhere at the end of time: post awareness confusions = "not knowing what they don't know."
Great ideas! God bless you.
Subscribed. All the other videos and things I've read it seemed my mom fit well in to stage 6. Now I am not so sure. She does seem to display all the markers for Lewy Bodies. She is 85 and had declined significantly in the past 6 months. She can't form complete sentences and stutters, does not know who I am or how many children she has. She still smiles but I see a lot of blank moments. She has lived with me 5 years and I have recently hired someone to come sit with her a couple times a week just so my husband and I can feel like we have a life. I definitely love the way you explain things and am ready to watch more.
Thanks for the comment. People can "straddle" the stages, so that may be what you are experiencing with your mom. When they are moving from one stage to the other, along the edge, you can see moments of one stage, moments of another. I'm so happy you are finding help in my explanations! We would love to have you over in the Facebook group if you are interested! Click through the link in the description! ~Vicky
You are soooo intuitive and kind! Common sense!
Thanks
My sweet Mamaw is in stage 5ish with vascular dementia. In the last few weeks, my Papaw is now "the mean man that tells her what to do." She knows my mom and knows me and my sister, but she thinks my mom is ypunger, and my sister and I are kids. So she remembers me but not as a 42 year old woman, and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm Melissa and I'm grown and not 10 years old.
That is so common. You figured out the difference in how she sees you…that’s a big realization that some people don’t grasp. Are you in the group?? It’s such a special place! m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
I wish I knew more about my sister-in-law’s dementia. She didn’t have insurance and didn’t qualify for Medicaid until she was admitted to an Alzheimer’s unit. So we didn’t have a neurologist consult. Just 61y/o when diagnosed. Delusions was our first symptom. She’s been doing well but we notice she is declining. She sees people in the home and she thinks it’s family members and friends. Thinks her uncle (Hardy) was really Johnny Cash. She’s kin to the actor on tv.... This has been happening for about 2-3 months. I hate dementia. Just wish I could talk to an expert to get questions answered!
Just found your videos! I’m binging on them now!❤️ Thank you!!
Dovie Tomplait keep watching! And we have a group over on Facebook full of professional and personal caregivers who would be more than happy to help answer questions!! The link is above in the description of the video!! Come on over!!
Thank you! I did find the fb page last night! I’m looking forward to more ‘digging’ up information!
You are a good soul 🥰
What stage do thay go in care home
In my experience, usually around Stage 5. That’s when sometimes toileting becomes an issue Also behavior changes in some people. This are the two top reasons for placement.
How long between these stages? and how long does each last each stage?
God created you to be this amazing, gentle, kind, intelligent spirit that was meant for elderly care. You constantly amaze me!
L
What stage is the night into day behaviour. I noticed that. Cleaning at 3am.
My mom is in 5 as best I can tell. Incontinence is the biggest mess right now.
whats the life expectancy from stage 4 and on?
Love ya so much! You are such a blessing. Wish we were neighbors lol
I would love that!!! Thankful for the internet so we can connect this way!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My mother is in stage 5 too; “she can’t remember what she can’t remember.”
I would guess it took a year for my loved one, in her late seventies, to move from what I assess as stage three to stage four. I wonder how soon she will enter stage five.
I HAD AN UNCLE IN A NURSING HOME,I WOULD VISIT HIM AND EVEN IF HIS BACK WAS TO THE DOOR I WOULD GO IN KISS HIM ON TOP OF HIS HEAD AND AT THAT MOMENT HE WOULD START LAUGHING AND SAY MY NAME WITHOUT SEEING ME.HE REMEMBERED
My 94 year old mother is now in this stage. She has lived on her own for 32 years since dad died and absolutely refuses to consider going into a Care Home despite her constant decline and neediness.
Mother has carers twice a day for 6 days a week and remembers nothing about them. She is deaf,semi - continent and has mobility issues but refuses to use a walking stick or incontinence underwear unless challenged and ordered to.
Mother help receives from her care package which include a hairdresser, cleaner and chiropodist. She has no recollection of any of their services. The thought of singing to her, giving her a massage and showing affection, are alien concepts for me. I no longer have love or respect for a mother who disappeared long ago, to be replaced with a stubborn, non - compliant and totally ungrateful replica.
Watch the video of mine on Narcissism and the one on “Loved one? Not Mine”…I will try to attach the links to the videos but it doesn’t always work. (user error I’m sure!) And join the group on Facebook. So many situation similar to this. It is a true SUPPORT group. Sorry for the journey, but you are not alone. I promise. All my love, Vicky
You speak of hard things. Please try to remember it is not intentional. Similar to the person who has a learning disability, your loved one has a damaged brain-literally the brain is permanently damaged with necessary portions destroyed by the disease. She is not “ungrateful” but brain damaged. It is confusing to me because some areas appear to be working but even they are poor. (Example: who in their un-diseased mind would be content to wet or soil themselves? No one. It’s not just memory which is impaired but the ability to incorporate information and make logical decisions. All sorts of skills such as planning, organising, etc have gone away with the disease eating at the brain.)
Adult Social Care may come assess. Anonymous referral or a trusted other person?
I pray and hope you find ways to cope with your hurt and anger, which may be related to understandable grief about so many losses. Maybe please remember she is not mentally competent though in a partly functioning body, like a brain injured adult. Looks capable but very impaired.
May you seek and find true wisdom
Thankyou so much to Vicky and K for your heartfelt comments on my mother. I understand that her capacity to be the mother I once knew , was slowly and surely slipping away. Mother was hospitalised after a fall in June 2022 and after a final assessment, her capacity was deemed to be incapable of her being returned home. She was admitted into a Care Home in July 2022 and mother never accepted the fact that this was to be her final abode. She passed away peacefully with myself and my siblings at her bedside in December. Her long arduous journey finally over. We were relieved and blessed that she would suffer no longer.
Love you too dear one.
🤗
It's my grandmother's 89th birthday on the 17th. She doesn't understand what a birthday is.
But You know what a birthday is! And you can celebrate with her even though it she doesn’t know what a birthday is she knows what celebration is! Try to remember that you still know her, even if she doesn’t know you. Celebrate her!
I wonder what stage my mom is in. She talks about the past n long ago almost constantly. Cant remember what day it is. She will ask 5 or 6 times a day what day is today 😭
I think you are watching the right video! Lots of confusion and worries in 5. In 6 they get more settled because they don’t seem to be as bothered by their losses. All my love.
My husband is just like this. Asks me all day what day it is. I believe he is in stage 5.
My partner got vascular dementia he always sleeping
I wish that were the case with my mom. He is like the energizer bunny and will only sit to eat, and even tries to walk around while she's eating. And the entire time she is walking around, she is picking up things and moving them or stashing them in a bag or box, or drawer. Dealing with her is exhausting! I give her every opportunity to stay in bed as long as she wants, but she usually gets up around 12 pm. Just be glad your partner doesn't wonder at night. My mom went through a stage where she would get up out of bed late at night and start wondering around her room in the dark. She would keep me awake all night. ENJOY the peace you have while they are sleeping and be glad for them for being relaxed enough to sleep.
What stage and what area of the brain causes inappropriate sexual behavior and speech?
Hey Cindy, thanks for the comment! Usually it is down in stage five when they no longer know what they don’t know… If that makes sense. And it is usually when the frontal lobe has been attacked by dementia. I have a couple of videos about inappropriate sexual behavior, and I will link those below. Again, thanks for the comment, and I hope that this provided some insight for you.
Again, I always say if you are not a member of the group, come on over! This is a “hot“ topic for conversation. It is certainly not isolated. All my love on this very hard journey, Vicky ❤️
th-cam.com/video/GKEGPLu46LU/w-d-xo.htmlsi=Yj9zClY6DO8o6hhv
th-cam.com/video/uM9tKGl1I_8/w-d-xo.htmlsi=20qpowzGUmchCh2w
My mom loved White Shoulders perfume. I need to find it! Lol
MissBooks Thanks for the comment!! You can find it on EBay!! I had to buy some for a lady on my unit once and I found it there!!!
I got chills reading your post. White Shoulders was my mother's favorite. I have the last bottle that she ever used. She kept it in the pink box it came in. That is a very fond memory of my sweet mother.
I am here because my dad is in the moderate stages of AD. I believe he has recently slipped into stage 5. In July he was diagnosed with mild AD. By October the memory care doctor said he was in the moderate stages. He is progressing very quickly. About two weeks ago, I realized he longer knows he is 87. That he will be 88 on May 5.
@@DementiaWithGrace I am a new subscriber. Thank you. I just finished watching two of your videos. Going to watch more tomorrow. This Alabama gal is already a big fan.
I am currently helping my 87 year old adoptive father with AD. January 19, 2018 he underwent triple bypass surgery here at UAB. At the time he had mild dementia. Within 36 hours post opt he went into a sever state of delirium. A cranial MRI was done shortly after his 87th Birthday last May. Resulting in several diagnosis. Right frontal lobe meningioma, stroke in the right ventricle, normal pressure hydrocephalus, white matter disease and deterioration in the memory areas of his brain.
Last July he was formally diagnosed with mild stage AD. By the time we returned to the Memory Care Clinic at UAB last October. He had advanced into the moderate stages of AD. Two weeks ago, I started noticing that he is quickly slipping into stage 5. He no longer knows his age or Birthday. His eating habits have changed drastically. I will be discussing this with his primary care physician on Monday.
Just wanted to let you know that your videos are the best I have seen on TH-cam. They are greatly appreciated. God bless you.
Sarah Crain your feedback means so much. So sorry that you and your father are on this journey, but happy to come alongside you now and help you in any way I can. Have you found our Support Group on Facebook? It is a fabulous group of people. The link is in the video description. I’m in there daily answering questions! Hope to see you there! ~Vicky
@@DementiaWithGrace I will look you up on FB. Thank you.
Visited my dad in hospital yesterday and he thought I was his sister 😭💔
It’s hard. Thinking of you.
❤
My Grandmother doesn't know who I am.
I’m so sorry. I bet her soul knows you are someone She loves. Do you have a song or a TV program or something like that that you used to watch together? Play that and see if she can make a connection! Soups recognize souls. I believe that wholeheartedly!
I like your flamingo 🦩
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