I was a behavior special education teacher for grades K-3. I totally agree with you, behavior and communication are the most important! 💙 🤗 And because of an unmet need!!
You make this frightening disease much less scary. I love to listen to your series. You are so special in the way you present this difficult information with such care and love. I believe you are truly an angel. Please keep up your incredible work. After listening to you I actually feel maybe, just maybe I can go the distance with my husband now with PDD for 5 years at home. I fail everyday. And everyday I get up in the morning hopeful to do better with the help of wonderful teachers such as yourself. I am truly grateful.
OMG. I just found your channel. My husband is about in stage 4. I think. Can't wait to watch all your videos. What a caring sweet lady you are. I needed this so badly.
Thank you so much for these videos. My 83 year old mother was diagnosed with dementia a month ago and we are having a hard time adjusting to this. She stares straight ahead and doesn't acknowledge us when we visit. She acts like she hates us. Right now my siblings and I are just trying to find information.
Y’all come join the group! It is a free resource, it is on Facebook, so it is already on a platform most people use, and you are surrounded by caregivers who are in the same storm, just a different boat. m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
My sister cognitive & directional is totally gone there is not one thing she can do on her own . It’s beyond heartbreaking 💔 she’s a shell of what she once was. I wish their was an experimental where I could live one day in her mind to see what she goes through.
well I said I was going to skip this video for awhile because I wasn't sure I wanted to know too much about what's ahead of us. It turns out this video wasn't scary at all lol and I did learn something, you mentioned shadowing. I have never heard of that but I think it cleared something up for me. My hubs can't get up without my assistance and when he is up he can't walk. But I have been going a bit nuts because if I go into the bathroom or kitchen or wherever he constantly yells for me. When I run in to see what he needs, he doesn't need anything. Maybe this is his way of shadowing since he can't walk. I always learn something from your videos Vicky, thank you. And I have learned more in 3 days in your FB group than I have learned in yrs about this dreadful disease.
I’m so happy you were brave enough to watch! I thought about tagging you in the announcement of this video to tell you it was not heavy. I think you are exactly right about that behavior being his way of shadowing. Hang in there! Thank you for your kind words!!
Big hugs! Thank you for the sweet words! I believe compassion and patience can be developed!! Have you watched my “Gripe and Gratitude” video? That may help to keep a journal as suggested there! You’ve got this!! ❤️❤️❤️
Love this series of videos. So many who are new to this disease. I thought I knew… until it hit my family. I really had no idea how hard it is for the whole family. The fb group and your videos are such a blessing to me and many others. Thank you for what you do!!
It truly is. I wish I had this when my dad was going through all this. What a blessing. I was blessed I was a CNA for many years before and a husband that's a LPN that works in long care elder care. We knew what was coming. We took care of my mother inlaw on hospice until she passed in 2021. Now my mother has dementia symptoms.
I have very mild dementia. Hope it's ok to join. I belong to other caretaker sites. I'm blessed that this was caught very early by a fluke as my Dr thought I had MS. I have watched others, including my grandmother with dementia. It's so sad. I do want to go to a home when I can no longer care for myself. Then I want to die in hospice. I'm also "visually impaired" directly related to the dementia.
@@annemurphy9339 I actually was! Praise the Lord. Found a new and good neurologist, and he did all kinds of tests. Convinced I don't have it. I have to wait till Jan to have another cognitive studies covered by my insurance. But I think it was all in my vision, glaucoma!!
I am so thankful to have found your video. My son ,who is a non verbal level 3 autistic adult, has been in a constant state of all the behaviors you described. It's like he has been experiencing dementia his entire life. I am looking forward to the rest of your series on behaviors, and thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. ❤
Vicky, i just 'Love you to pieces'!!! ❤❤❤ I Love your authenticity, your heart for 'our person' and their people and i LOVE your accent ❤️ Thank You so, so much for who you are and what you do!!! ❤
I am so glad to find your videos. My Mom is at a 19 in the cognitive test. I’m trying to learn all I can so I can help her. I just want her to feel safe and happy.
This is so informative and eye opening thank you so very much for making & sharing these much needed videos. I appreciate your grace & compassion for dementia patients. I’ve been passing along what I’ve learned to my friend who’s mom has severe dementia.
All this information helps me to cope and to plan and that is very helpful with a disease that keeps us jumping. We still have to take it a day at a time but the more we know the better off both of us are. BTW: your hair at this length and with the soft curls is so attractive. Can you talk about the issue of safety with wondering? A friend of mine from our local dementia support group has a husband with FTL Dementia and he wanders in the streets and neighborhood for hours every day. She lets him just go and I am worried for him? I suggested that she try to go with him (like a walk) but she says she needs the private time when he goes out so she is happy he goes....Can you make any other suggestions how to keep him safe beside tracking him on her cell phone?
Thank you for your content. It has been very helpful in understanding “my person”- my Grandma. ❤Dealing with this has been so parallel to handling/understanding behaviors my autistic toddler exhibits. The difference is, like you said- my child will continue to learn and grow but my loved one will continue to lose their capabilities. Either way ABA tactics seem to be good solution.
Does shadowing, or rather, CAN shadowing be applicable with constant telephone calls? My mum rings me (some days) upwards of 7-10 times and she also seems concerned I am in poor health.
Well, it depends on the person. If you think it may answer some of their questions it could be useful. However, Stage 4 is on the precipice of the descent into 5 which is when they lose their core memory to a great extent. It can be an extremely challenging journey for the family re: losing “the person” for the first time, as their recent memories fade giving way to visiting the remote past. It could be pleasant for them or troubling. It is a delicate balance (as is the whole journey), so consider that. So tough. All my love, Vicky 🥰🥰🥰
I look at your beautiful woodwork behind you. We live in a 150 yr old home with beautiful woodwork too, and my dad insists on repeatedly smashing his walker into it, sometimes for hours at a time. Also into the furniture, the plaster walls, the toilet, the kitchen cabinets. He is destroying things. If he were a child, we would smack his bottom, and tell him “no, that is destructive and not acceptable!” In what world do we just ALLOW our parents destroy our house, just because they can no longer learn?! You have a calm way about you, but I just wonder if you would be so calm if it was YOUR house they were destroying! I wish I could figure out what he wants/needs so he’ll stop! He’s on no medications, and all of his bodily functions (pee, poop) are working normally. He’s always been a very busy man who is very much in control. All I can think is that he is angry inside about being out of control of his life. He’s in stage 6. He always used to be a man who took VERY good care of his things, and helped fix other people’s things. I cannot figure out why he thinks this destructive behavior is ok. 😞 Sadly, we don’t have Facebook.
Also, my REACTION would not be calm, I’m sure! But given a moment to gather myself, hopefully I could RESPOND with calm. I all caps those words to emphasize the difference. I will do a video on it soon, too. I think you are right that he is angry. I also have a video that anger is fears bodyguard. I’ll connect that one here, too. He may need some medication for depression, maybe. Talk to his doctor. Let me get the anger video!
@@DementiaWithGrace Thank you…for everything. You’re right; SO much to learn-not just about my father with dementia, but about myself. I’m trying…and I’ll keep trying…
@@sunsetfree5358 Sunset, I really hope and pray for you I can't imagine how exhausted and drained you and your husband must be Not to mention the heavy toll it's taking on your marriage. May God's blessings be with you all in this critical time
Sometimes it is not the caregivers fault. Sometimes it is the dementia’s fault. Like when the patient wants to take meds twice because she forgot she took it two hours before. Sometimes the patient wants to lock themselves in their bedroom and the caregiver cannot allow these things. Then the patient gets mad because they don’t want ANYONE telling them no.
I was a behavior special education teacher for grades K-3. I totally agree with you, behavior and communication are the most important! 💙 🤗 And because of an unmet need!!
You make this frightening disease much less scary. I love to listen to your series. You are so special in the way you present this difficult information with such care and love. I believe you are truly an angel. Please keep up your incredible work. After listening to you I actually feel maybe, just maybe I can go the distance with my husband now with PDD for 5 years at home. I fail everyday. And everyday I get up in the morning hopeful to do better with the help of wonderful teachers such as yourself. I am truly grateful.
Thank you for saying that! Hearing that you feel encouraged and inspired is encouraging to ME!
Prayers for you both. I'm so sorry.
I love how you stopped to enjoy the sunlight coming through the window! Love you Vicki and hope your health is well these days!
Thank you so much for your grace. I have been taking care of my mom for the last few years. I am not always graceful!
You are so welcome, and NONE of us are!!! Come on over to the group!! m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
None of us are,
even the person with dementia
Absolutely correct. We are humans. I've lost it more then once. A pillow to scream in is nice. Take a walk and get weekly breaks if you can.
OMG. I just found your channel. My husband is about in stage 4. I think. Can't wait to watch all your videos. What a caring sweet lady you are. I needed this so badly.
Aww! Good! I hope it helps!
Thank you so much for these videos. My 83 year old mother was diagnosed with dementia a month ago and we are having a hard time adjusting to this. She stares straight ahead and doesn't acknowledge us when we visit. She acts like she hates us. Right now my siblings and I are just trying to find information.
Y’all come join the group! It is a free resource, it is on Facebook, so it is already on a platform most people use, and you are surrounded by caregivers who are in the same storm, just a different boat. m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
My sister cognitive & directional is totally gone there is not one thing she can do on her own . It’s beyond heartbreaking 💔 she’s a shell of what she once was. I wish their was an experimental where I could live one day in her mind to see what she goes through.
All my love. ❤️ Vicky
I can answer that for you, it's hell!
I'm so sorry. Keep soft music planning. Hymns she likes. 🙏
well I said I was going to skip this video for awhile because I wasn't sure I wanted to know too much about what's ahead of us. It turns out this video wasn't scary at all lol and I did learn something, you mentioned shadowing. I have never heard of that but I think it cleared something up for me. My hubs can't get up without my assistance and when he is up he can't walk. But I have been going a bit nuts because if I go into the bathroom or kitchen or wherever he constantly yells for me. When I run in to see what he needs, he doesn't need anything. Maybe this is his way of shadowing since he can't walk. I always learn something from your videos Vicky, thank you. And I have learned more in 3 days in your FB group than I have learned in yrs about this dreadful disease.
I’m so happy you were brave enough to watch! I thought about tagging you in the announcement of this video to tell you it was not heavy. I think you are exactly right about that behavior being his way of shadowing. Hang in there! Thank you for your kind words!!
You are a ray of sunshine..
Awww! How sweet of you to say!! ❤️❤️❤️
You are so nice and kind. I wish I had the compassion that you have.
Big hugs! Thank you for the sweet words! I believe compassion and patience can be developed!! Have you watched my “Gripe and Gratitude” video? That may help to keep a journal as suggested there! You’ve got this!! ❤️❤️❤️
Here it is: th-cam.com/video/27xOHIF7Yfk/w-d-xo.htmlsi=KdR88jX7Fsxj4BGz
Love this series of videos. So many who are new to this disease. I thought I knew… until it hit my family. I really had no idea how hard it is for the whole family. The fb group and your videos are such a blessing to me and many others. Thank you for what you do!!
Thank you Dovie!!!
you said it all. think I was in denial for awhile. now I need this help and support. bless you
It truly is. I wish I had this when my dad was going through all this. What a blessing. I was blessed I was a CNA for many years before and a husband that's a LPN that works in long care elder care. We knew what was coming. We took care of my mother inlaw on hospice until she passed in 2021. Now my mother has dementia symptoms.
That is why I love you as a person you are real people, there is not a phony bone in your body.
Mistakes, crazy hair, bad lighting!! And, words of comfort. It’s all just me. Love you!
I have very mild dementia. Hope it's ok to join. I belong to other caretaker sites. I'm blessed that this was caught very early by a fluke as my Dr thought I had MS. I have watched others, including my grandmother with dementia. It's so sad. I do want to go to a home when I can no longer care for myself. Then I want to die in hospice. I'm also "visually impaired" directly related to the dementia.
God bless you. You express yourself perfectly. I pray you are misdiagnosed and will regain your health and clarity.
@@annemurphy9339 I actually was! Praise the Lord. Found a new and good neurologist, and he did all kinds of tests. Convinced I don't have it. I have to wait till Jan to have another cognitive studies covered by my insurance. But I think it was all in my vision, glaucoma!!
I am so thankful to have found your video. My son ,who is a non verbal level 3 autistic adult, has been in a constant state of all the behaviors you described. It's like he has been experiencing dementia his entire life. I am looking forward to the rest of your series on behaviors, and thank you so much for sharing your knowledge with us. ❤
Vicky, i just 'Love you to pieces'!!! ❤❤❤
I Love your authenticity, your heart for 'our person' and their people and i LOVE your accent ❤️
Thank You so, so much for who you are and what you do!!! ❤
Made my day!! Thanks for responding!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
I am so glad to find your videos. My Mom is at a 19 in the cognitive test. I’m trying to learn all I can so I can help her. I just want her to feel safe and happy.
Hi Vicki. Both my mother (LBD) and my husband have dementia. I'm glad to have found you.
Are you and your dad able to work together, to help each other?
Great video . I love how you make things easy to understand and follow . Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience.
Vicky thank you so much for your passion & such transparency in detailing your knowledge to us. I love you n thank you so much ,hugs from S Texas ❤️😘
You know I love to! Praying for wellness to do some more/recent! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you
Thank you so much. You explain everything well.
Glad it was helpful! ❤️❤️❤️ Vicky
Thank You so much. going through this w my mom.
This is so informative and eye opening thank you so very much for making & sharing these much needed videos. I appreciate your grace & compassion for dementia patients. I’ve been passing along what I’ve learned to my friend who’s mom has severe dementia.
Thank you for your sweet words! ❤️ Vicky
@@DementiaWithGrace you are very welcome.
My mother does this following with a annoying hum.
All this information helps me to cope and to plan and that is very helpful with a disease that keeps us jumping. We still have to take it a day at a time but the more we know the better off both of us are. BTW: your hair at this length and with the soft curls is so attractive. Can you talk about the issue of safety with wondering? A friend of mine from our local dementia support group has a husband with FTL Dementia and he wanders in the streets and neighborhood for hours every day. She lets him just go and I am worried for him? I suggested that she try to go with him (like a walk) but she says she needs the private time when he goes out so she is happy he goes....Can you make any other suggestions how to keep him safe beside tracking him on her cell phone?
Thank you for your content. It has been very helpful in understanding “my person”- my Grandma. ❤Dealing with this has been so parallel to handling/understanding behaviors my autistic toddler exhibits. The difference is, like you said- my child will continue to learn and grow but my loved one will continue to lose their capabilities. Either way ABA tactics seem to be good solution.
I totally agree. I am not well versed in autism but I see so many similarities as I learn more! Thanks for your comment!
I really appreciate you and am grateful to find your YT channel. What exactly is the name of the FB group?
Dementia with Grace Caregiver Support Group!
This is brilliant.
I have a tetraplegic with Dementia and we are struggling to help manage our clients needs :(
Thank you for the sweet comment! Come join the group. It seriously is the best! m.facebook.com/groups/dementiawithgrace
Does shadowing, or rather, CAN shadowing be applicable with constant telephone calls? My mum rings me (some days) upwards of 7-10 times and she also seems concerned I am in poor health.
👍🙏🤗 thanks!
Should one show your videos to a person with dementia that is in stage four?
Well, it depends on the person. If you think it may answer some of their questions it could be useful. However, Stage 4 is on the precipice of the descent into 5 which is when they lose their core memory to a great extent. It can be an extremely challenging journey for the family re: losing “the person” for the first time, as their recent memories fade giving way to visiting the remote past. It could be pleasant for them or troubling. It is a delicate balance (as is the whole journey), so consider that. So tough. All my love, Vicky 🥰🥰🥰
I look at your beautiful woodwork behind you. We live in a 150 yr old home with beautiful woodwork too, and my dad insists on repeatedly smashing his walker into it, sometimes for hours at a time. Also into the furniture, the plaster walls, the toilet, the kitchen cabinets. He is destroying things. If he were a child, we would smack his bottom, and tell him “no, that is destructive and not acceptable!”
In what world do we just ALLOW our parents destroy our house, just because they can no longer learn?!
You have a calm way about you, but I just wonder if you would be so calm if it was YOUR house they were destroying!
I wish I could figure out what he wants/needs so he’ll stop! He’s on no medications, and all of his bodily functions (pee, poop) are working normally.
He’s always been a very busy man who is very much in control. All I can think is that he is angry inside about being out of control of his life. He’s in stage 6.
He always used to be a man who took VERY good care of his things, and helped fix other people’s things. I cannot figure out why he thinks this destructive behavior is ok. 😞
Sadly, we don’t have Facebook.
Try this video. th-cam.com/video/LJyctHxixTE/w-d-xo.html
Also, my REACTION would not be calm, I’m sure! But given a moment to gather myself, hopefully I could RESPOND with calm. I all caps those words to emphasize the difference. I will do a video on it soon, too. I think you are right that he is angry. I also have a video that anger is fears bodyguard. I’ll connect that one here, too. He may need some medication for depression, maybe. Talk to his doctor. Let me get the anger video!
Anger is Fear’s Bodyguard || Words of Wisdom
th-cam.com/video/bAKmq-ZRrSo/w-d-xo.html
@@DementiaWithGrace
Thank you…for everything.
You’re right; SO much to learn-not just about my father with dementia, but about myself.
I’m trying…and I’ll keep trying…
@@sunsetfree5358 Sunset, I really hope and pray for you
I can't imagine how exhausted and drained you and your husband must be
Not to mention the heavy toll it's taking on your marriage. May God's blessings be with you all
in this critical time
I try to enter your facebook group as you said but you keep declining me… is this the help you say?
Are answering all the questions and then clicking “yes” on n agreeing to group rules? PM me on Facebook and I will help. My profile is public. Thanks!
Your hair is cute ❤
Well thank you! ☺️
Sometimes it is not the caregivers fault. Sometimes it is the dementia’s fault. Like when the patient wants to take meds twice because she forgot she took it two hours before. Sometimes the patient wants to lock themselves in their bedroom and the caregiver cannot allow these things. Then the patient gets mad because they don’t want ANYONE telling them no.
Ll0.
My family member is delusional about people hurting her. So difficult to watch.😢