I remember my mom scoffing at modern family when it was being advertised, “it’s disgusting that they are normalizing this as a modern family” she said. She went through an extreme stage of depression a few years later, and modern family was the only thing that made her laugh in months. As of today, I have come out to her and she is my best friend. This show changed so many minds.
@@falconeshield I'm not saying there wasn't gay couples before, I'm saying Mitch and Cam were the first gay couple they connected with. If it wasn't for you, that's wonderful to.
I just want to say it was crazy to follow the progression of my straight parents' views towards gay relationships over the course of the decade they watched Modern Family. I had an extremely repressed childhood due to my parents sheltering me from the mere idea of gay people existing, and in 2009 they were adamant about Modern Family being "inappropriate" for having the audacity to show a gay couple raising a kid. They also didn't support gay marriage at the time. Still, even despite that, it became one of their favorite shows, and I could just see them gradually warm up to the idea of a gay couple just living their lives freely, to the point where, by the end of the show, they often said they related the most to Cam and Mitch out of all the couples even though they had much a closer family structure to Claire and Phil. I could just feel the homophobia drain out of them as I watched the show alongside them, to the point where I finally felt comfortable and supported enough to come out to them myself. By the time Modern Family ended, they were proudly rooting for queer couples in other shows. Schitt's Creek was basically their second favorite comedy show after Modern Family, and they were extremely excited about the weddings in both. On-screen representation shouldn't just matter to people within the group being represented, but also to people who don't understand the group.
Exactly! When you aren’t showing equal representation of all groups that starts to taint one’s image of the real world. Your neighbors are black, gay, trans, a veteran, everything. And as for seeing your own representation it is truly like no other. The other day I had the lgbtq channel on and when I sat down to watch it…That was a feeling better than any drug. Just to be able to see two women kissing almost made me want to cry tears of joy. I felt so understood, and for once it wasn’t stereotypical or overly sexual, just love.
This is why I’m okay with the fact that it took Mitch and Cam so long to show affection to each other. A lot of people might not have given the show a chance so it was better to have the characters slowly start to become more touchy-feely as the audience became more comfortable with the idea of watching two gay men in a relationship. Good on your parents for eventually coming around too 👍🏼
As a lesbian, freedom is the mundane. I want to be able to get married, have a house, have a kid or two, etc. Cam and Mitchell show how mundane and boring everyday life is and can be for the lgbt+ community if we can just have our rights. Let us have a boring life like everyone else. ❤️
That reminds me of a joke from somewhere. "Why can't gay people get married? They have every right to be just as miserable as every other married couple"
this! I live in a homophobic country (gen z aren't and a lot of millenials aren't but gen x and boomers are very homophobic) i don't wanna be a revolutionary for loving someone. i want it to be treated as boring as cishet relationships are.
I was raised Mormon and didn’t even know what being gay meant until I was 11. When Modern Family came out I was a freshman in high school. I didn’t try to hide it but I went into different rooms to watch the first few episodes as they came out. When my parents realized I’d been recording the show they warned me that Mitchell and Cameron were living in sin and as long as I remembered that I was allowed to watch it. Cameron reminded me so much of my gay uncle Richard. (That’s right, I had a gay uncle who was pretty involved in my upbringing and my parents still managed to keep it a secret from me until I was 11) I loved it when they were on screen, and I also had a big crush on both Gloria and Clare so the show was a very big part of my queer awakening. The wedding episode made me cry so much. So yeah, this show definitely helped get us where we are today and that’s why representation matters do much.
Wait, your parents looked down on Mitch and Cam for “living in sin” when there was no possible way for them to marry? And that didn’t bother them? That’s wild.
I wish I had anything to watch when I was young. I believed all the negative things I was told. Even that my lesbian aunt who passed before I could met her was mentally unstable (I was told she had been in an insane asylum). I was terrified when I realized I was gay at 15. I waited to come out until I was 24. I'm 60 now. And my family wasn't religious.
Sometimes we liberals look back and roll our eyes at Modern Family, but legitimately I believe that Modern Family helped my parents (especially my dad) understand and accept gay couples and, ultimately, his gay son. I remember watching an episode with him where Mitch and Cam were in bed together (which at the time was groundbreaking), and the bit was about Lilly not wanting to stay in her crib and Cam being upset about it. Without really thinking about it, he talked about he and my mom were the same way as Mitch and Cam were with their kids. As he sat and laughed and reminisced about dealing with toddlers, it truly never crossed his mind as weird that Mitch and Cam were two dads. I absolutely think Mitch and Cam are what got him comfortable with gay marriage in general.
That's interesting. I've never been able to watch a show without laughing through tears, especially when it first came out. Heck, this video even stirred me emotionally. But, my husband and I lived in Georgia and have been together since 91 and that lack of recognition and that previous lack or average representation were unbelievably frustrating. I think seeing those characters in extended familial settings that were denied to so many of us was spectacularly important. Much more important and poignant to my husband and I than, say Will and Grace.
That's so true, I've seen pretty much the most liberal person on this planet review the show, and they get soooo angry at Jay's existence and think he shouldn't even be in the show! Crazy because people don't realize how sometimes you need balance and conservative points in contrast to liberal and progressive ideas to help bridge the gap and open up people to crossing over and become more tolerant.
That’s really sweet. I’m bi curious gen z but I try and understand + listen to older generations/people who disagree with gay marriage since it is my choice and I’m curious to hear why.. it’s easy to forget that there are many people out there like your father who needs the opportunity to be presented through a different perspective just like we do too sometimes. I’d rather have a conversation than a rage pointless argument
@@noncatholiccatholicrat6309 I disliked Jay's character at first. PTSD from that show with Christina Applegate as a kid. And Jay, reminded me of so many wealthy middle aged men, who gets a second younger, foreign wife, in my family. With semi conservative views. "Do as I say, not as I do" type of vibe". Then I made said relatives watched the show, It brought so many hectic but brilliant conversations at the family Sunday brunch. Uncles, BIL were talking about how being a cis het man was back in them days and wild anecdotes, that makes you ponder. The cherry on top, of the cake, was that even on their more stubborn (conditioned) bigotry, they acknowledge how much modern T.V. opened their views. Apparently, seeing how Joan Collins was slapping folks disrespecting her gay son, in Dynasty, made some get a grip and prioritise their beloved.
The Supreme Court decision that cemented marriage equality is the only reason I became ordained: I wanted to offer people in my area the chance to be married in a ceremony the churches refused to perform. Only performed two, but it was enough to convince a few local churches to open their doors to those who were previously denied the opportunity. I love how presenting gay couples in a human light via entertainment media has seemed to help people accept the community that much more.
"the year leading up to modern family i killed three people" out of context followed by the link to the actual stories might be the best patreon plug ive ever seen
Im still disappointed that Modern Family didn't end with a pan out revealing that the whole show was the director of the documentary reviewing the footage, him turning to his producer and saying "Yeeeaaahhh...we can't use any of this."
The Office did that in it’s last season and people hated the decision to show the camera crew. I think it was more due to the boom mike guy was having feelings for Pam rather than the crew being revealed. But showing the crew broke the immersion for some. Parks and Recs never attempted to show the crew at all aside from Ben’s staring at the camera once in awhile
I know this has been said a million times but SERIOUSLY MODERN FAMILY IS SO GOOD FOR HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS. My parents really struggled to accept my bisexuality, even though they were never strict about it, just thought it was "a phase" because they didn't want to believe it was real, but I think Modern Family really helped them see that a gay couple was just like any straight couple (maybe just with some new concerns), and had the same struggles and lifestyle as them. I think seeing Mitch and Cam helped them accept my sexuality.
This comment is a year old but same!! My dad was super homophobic and didn’t want to even watch it, but I had an episode on and he couldn’t help but laughing at something Cam had said. From then he was hooked, and after a while he didn’t care if people were gay or straight, it was wild to see the evolution.
I remember being really angry that Modern Family had these two gay characters on that were basically both castrated and unable to show any physical affection more than a hug. I’m glad you talked about that… it makes a lot more sense now!
Literally…. I got so much crap for stating how both characters were so badly written and a narrow view of what a gay couple could be but I was alive during that time but it’s still quite …. Shocking
I get it. Also makes sense why they didn't allow intimacy. You need to introduce things like that step by step as times change and people get more comfortable around the idea. Doing it all at once wouldve probably stopped a lot of people from watching. People who really benefitted from seeing gay people as main characters and slowly warming up to the idea that being gay isn't so bad. And nowadays its fine to have gay characters be just as overly affectionate as straight couples on TV shows. :)
No joke, I grew up with my mom's favorite cousin and his partner of many years in our family, but never recognized them as being gay in the 90's - because what I'd been told about the world "gay" was nothing but this weird bucket of negative garbage, and they were just a nice couple in the family that everyone called "friends". So somehow I just didn't make the connection that they were clearly two men who were a couple!
Isn't funny how people are so incensed about gay marriage, but they don't raise funds or a ruckus about affairs or love children. The sanctity of marriage, huh?
@@robertloerwald3 More accepted than gay marriage, even. Pretty standard I think that’s the caustic point Michele was making. I could be wrong about Michele’s point, but that’s how I took it. Not that I’m happy about it, you understand; I just agree it was true
@@InimicalWit I agree, too. The Purple Shade was saying people used to care about cheating (at least I think that’s what they were saying). Personally, I think it’s much less acceptable now
I have a cousin that recently came out as gay to the family. Their mom was upset because she was worried her child wouldn't have a "normal" life. I gently reminded her that Mitch and Cam had a normal life and she got really quiet. I think it made her think about her child's future and just how normal being gay is. If Mitch and Cam can be happy and successful, so can her child. (I know all you LGBT+ folks already know that, this show is just a good reminder for those of us that struggle with homophobia)
I like this message mostly but also who decides what a “ normal” life is? Its all subjective and I don't think this type of life should be put on a pedestal compared to other types of ways people want to live. You don't need to have a wife/ husband, a kid, live in the suburbs etc to live a good life.
I'm gonna briefly tell my story here, because I cried watching this video and I couldn't get myself to watch Mitch and Cam's wedding for the same reason. I'm a bisexual, cis woman and I was in a committed relationship with another woman for over 6 years. This was in the 90s, when you were kinda allowed to be gay in public, as long as you didn't in any way show that you were. My partner and I had a little ceremony where we committed to each other, but it was not something that could be done in public (we lived in Oklahoma). The problem was that we were not really _married_ . Believe it or not, the lack of a legally acknowledged marriage really did have an affect on our relationship. I am positive that had we been seen and accepted to be _married_ , we would have felt enough pressure to put just a little more work into saving our relationship. It a lot more difficult to void a legal contract than it is to just move out. As it was, when we broke up, it was looked on as "well, they are GAY; what do you expect?" I later went on to be married to a wonderful man for 15 years, until colon cancer took him after a 4-year battle (GET TESTED! It could save your life, people). My husband and I were legally married, but we never could scrape up enough money to have a wedding ceremony. I would have been devastated had I been barred from being with him when he passed. The main reason this episode of _Modern Family_ was so hard for me was that, because of the unwarranted, ridiculous prejudice of the people that we lived among, I missed my only real chance of genuine _wedding_ , and I also lost a relationship with a wonderful woman (who is still a very good friend of mine, per lesbian "law" in the pre-2000s). I missed the chance to be able to be legally acknowledged as a married couple, with all the rights and privileges that come along with that. You must remember, we had lived through the AIDS crisis and saw many loving, long-time couples who were unable to make decisions for their partners when the time came to do what their dying loved ones wanted at the end. We saw people who were unable to even be there when their partners passed because of bigoted family who refused to recognize their rights. You may not understand why this episode, and the ideas and attitudes that surrounded it, was so hard for me at the time, but, because of the prejudiced, bigoted lawmakers we had when i was young, I missed out on the opportunity to be a fresh-faced, blushing bride, with flowers and attendants, and all the other things that come along with a _real_ wedding. If I am so lucky as to meet a woman or man and fall in love now, at this time of my life, it would primarily be seen as a cute, "Look, isn't it sweet when old people get married" moment. I was robbed of a milestone everyone should have right to, if it's something they want. I'm horrified that, with the way things are going politically in our country, this right may once again be taken away. This is something we all need to fight against. There is absolutely NO reason why anyone should have their relationship precluded from all the things that come with legal marriage just because someone else's scriptures or traditions say that it's wrong.
Thank you for sharing your story 💜 A major part of what changed my dad’s mind about marriage equality in the late-90s was that my mom had a friend for years that was gay and they went out on double dates with him and his husband (we’re in Texas, so they also weren’t legally married), had them over for barbecues, etc. They were all four friends. Well, mom’s best friend had AIDS he’d had it since before he met his husband. So we watched him slowly get sicker and weaker. We supported them and helped them as much as we could, but there’s only so much you can do through that kind of hell. My dad came home from the hospital one day, hugged me and my mom and said that he realized that all it takes is for one of his estranged family members to waltz in, tell his husband to get out, and there’s nothing they could do. Thankfully that never happened to them, but it made my dad realize how important marriage equality is. He even said he couldn’t imagine if mom was sick and one of her kids (my stepsiblings) was able to tell him to get out. Or if when I was grown (I was around 15 or 16), if I fell in love with a lovely woman and someone in her family or some extended member of our family was able to separate us if one of us was sick. Or what if I was having a baby and a bigoted nurse or doctor wouldn’t let my wife in the delivery room with me? That seems to be what made him change his mind. That plus simply getting to know those friends over the years and my out gay friends. He realized that his friends deserved to be able to get married and my friends deserved to get married some day, as did I if I was bi or gay (I wasn’t sure what I was at the time). It still breaks my heart that they were never able to get legally married. It was still another 16 years off when he died.
Thanks for telling your story, and honestly don't give up. It can still happen. You have a right to have the wedding you want. You don't know when but I do think it will happen for anyone who actually wants to get married
Legit no joke, Modern Family helped me so much in coming to terms and getting comfortable with me being bi And this is coming from someone who has atm two fully out gay uncles, uncles that i didn't hang out as much growing up tho This series helped normalize the idea of being gay
@@LucasFernandez-fk8se I don´t have a HUGE family, like on my mom´s side i have in total 3 uncles and an aunt, it just so happens that two uncles are gay, one with a fiancé. The odds of that are insane i know lol
I owe a lot to Cam and Mitchell. When I was a kid (I'm currently in my early 20s), they had been the first interaction with LGBT people ever for me. I remember asking my parents what the word gay meant when I was watching the show, they explained it, and even then I knew it applied to me. Having this representation so early in life made it a lot easier for me to accept who I was.
As a lesbian born in 1999- its wild how much the world changed throughout my own teen years. When I was 12 years old gayness was a scandal (Glee was revolutionary and bold for Gods sake) and the gay kids at the highschool were horrifically treated. By the time I was 18 it was much more mundane and even kids my age from conservative backgrounds were more curious than immediately hateful
In my school they were still horrifically bullied in school, I graduated 4 years ago and I live pretty far from the south... Outside of school though, everyone has been wonderful to me. Times are changing but not as fast as I'd like it.
In my school they were still horrifically bullied in school, I graduated 4 years ago and I live pretty far from the south... Outside of school though, everyone has been wonderful to me. Times are changing but not as fast as I'd like it.
@@DeathnoteBB I had never heard of this guy and it just popped up in my recommended so I had no idea what to expect. I now see the type of content he creates
As an older person in a same sex marriage, I never thought that marriage equality would happen in my life time. That was amazing! I also never thought that Roe vs. Wade would be repealed. Crazy times.
Yeah but 50% of men and 50% of women are against abortion. 70-77% of Americans are pro gay marriage (good) so it’s more popular. Also while Christian’s and conservatives can find love in their hearts for gay friends and family (good), they have moral trouble with dismemberment of babies. It honestly is surprising that it was overturned tbh but I figure we will see if it’s good or bad or horrific or mediocre in the next 2-5 years how no abortion turns out and if it’s bad then we can vote on a reasonable abortion bill like europe has rather than having the court force a decision down that 50% of Americans don’t like. Something more compromisy like a 6 or 10 or 15 week ban like in Europe with caveats for life of the mother. Europe legislated abortion and they’ve never had an issue with it since they all agreed upon the abortion decision together. Most Americans are neither pro or anti abortion imo, they fall somewhere in the grey zone where they want limits (70% of Americans want abortion limits) but many don’t want it gone outright. We just gotta see what happens and come together on all political sides to agree to something and put this 50 year screeching match to rest
sometimes with media representation we forget how much they've helped pave the way, and a lot of times they wished to do more. we see this talk point a lot when mentioning legend of korra and steven universe. the creators tried their best to deal with a system that still is hostile to the lgbt community, and they've created precedent. modern family might have aged a bit, but it was still important to us
as a teenager watching all seasons on 2018 it never crossed my mind the dificulties about this while the show was being produced... it's surprising and veeeery weird how 10 years ago everything was so different
I think the episode is.....clever. The explanation is completely logical, but it allows Mitchel to avid saying "I'm afraid to show show affection to men because I have socialized that that is wrong and i am afraid what would happen if I kissed my lover in public" (God, remember the word "lover"?)
And yet he grew up in “wild uninhibited” California, while the much more flamboyant Cam grew up in conservative rural Misery, and was much more affectionate in his actions. Because you can’t spell “camp” without Cam!
38 here, same. Fanatical religion is a huge source of the world's ills, including the indirect murder of so many people in countries where the churches spoke against condoms.
I came to your channel from H.bomberguy's recent video on plagiarism, where he recommended you. You're a superb presenter. I'm not sure how you're not more angry while discussing these topics of bigotry and the suppression of equal rights, but good on you! You've got a new subscriber, for what that's worth. Can't wait to go through your videos!
OK, the Thoroughly Modern Millie reference was awesome. You also hit the nail on the head with fictional TV show characters being able to soften public opinion. It works for religious and racial minorities, too.
Great video. Being a heterosexual, from the South, and having been raised a Southern Baptist, it was work experience and shows like Will & Grace and Modern Family which basically deprogrammed decades of narrowminded ideology and religious propaganda for me.
I’m not crying. You’re crying. I remember living in a horrifically redneck town in Alberta, Canada when marriage equality happened here. I was taking a cab ride home from work (we had one cab in town) and the driver was grumbling about something awful having happened. I was like “Uh. Like what? Did something blow up somewhere?” “Now the *gays* can marry.” My queer ass gasped so hard that he stopped the car and tried to convince me that I had no reason to celebrate but I was *bouncing*. That was in 2005 and I *vividly* remember that moment. (The cab driver tried numerous times to get me to side with him. Dream on, sweetie.) Stephen “Soulless Dickhead” Harper tried more than once to take it back, but no luck.
Cam and Mitch were some of my favorite characters on that show. I still maintain that the Man shouldn't lie concert scene is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on television. The set up and their reactions, just perfect. They were some truly great characters and it was fun to follow their arc. I even think they had one of the better endings on the show, much better than some other ones got.
i recently started watching modern family and i adore this couple! the sneak peek to the show’s ending seriously has me in tears, ugh the way you worded it 🥹
I remember my parent's church had a special "gay sermon" after this show came out. I wasnt allowed to go even tho I was like 17 by that point. It was not positive. My parents wonder now why it took so long for me to come out to them. Its as if they forgot how incredibly homophobic they were for so long in the 2000s, just because they "had gay friends" back in the 80s and 90s.
The wedding is my absolute favorite Modern Family episode. I always get emotional at the end. I especially love when Jay offers to walk Mitch down the aisle.
I literally just started binge watching this show a couple weeks ago and am on season 11 right now… this video could not have come at a more perfect time!
that quote from jeffrey richman about cam & mitchell's proposal actually made me tear up bc it reminded me so much of david & patrick's proposal (and wedding) in schitt's creek, and how it wouldn't have been possible without this show laying the groundwork for gay leads in sitcoms. i feel so grateful to be alive in a time where gay leads on tv can get married without question because of how hard those gay writers and actors worked for it over the past few decades
Wait... They blurred a gay kiss on CBS in 2009?? I'm old enough to have voted no on prop 8 (and I did), so I definitely remember a lot of how it was back then, but I didn't remember that happening?! It's crazy how far we've come in only 13 years, but also we can't forget how far we still have to go.
Now you gome and made me cry! ❤ Straigh chicana forty something here and i love your content so much!! This video really did have me crying. Hapy tears!!! ❤
Absolutely love Modern Family. All the characters are great and I'm so happy that equality for same sex couples has moved in a positive direction. This weekend I'll be attending the wedding reception of one of my very best friends. I'm overjoyed to be able to be there for her as she marries her wife.
I think the most revolutionary part of modern family was Jay and Mitch. I can’t think of another representation of an older dad and adult gay son that are both core parts of the cast. Plenty of gay characters have parents who appear once or twice a season, but Jay and Mitch were on every episode together. It showed a road map for being a father to a gay son and gay son-in-law. Being grandfather to their adopted child. Jay being the boomer of the “greatest generation”, the “man’s man”. There must be so many men like Jay out there. Their relationship is incredible effective.
I started watching the show so I would know what you're talking about this episode. Not surprisingly, it's pretty good. I've only made it through most of the first season, and I hope we get to learn more about Cam and Mitch as individuals. Thus far, they're still mostly "the gay guys with the kid".
The reality is this show is pretty conservative, and a lot of the jokes are super racist, and it also is pretty stereotypical and sometimes offensive in trating homosexuality, so don’t expect anything too good
@@cervelmola I understand what you're saying, but I would hesitate to call it "conservative". It's clearly progressive by the standards of the older Liberal men who made it. It means well, but it lacks true diversity and intersectionality, and yes, it relies heavily on stereotypes. Maybe it's the best they could have gotten on the air in 2009, or maybe it's just the most they thought they could get on the air, or the most they felt would be accepted given that it was coming out after the very, very anti-gay 2004 elections, before gay marriage was even legal outside of Massachusetts, and when Obama still felt he had to officially stand against gay marriage. An intermediate step, but certainly dated by now, and not half as daring as the many shows of the 70s that Matt has already covered. A single step forward following many steps back
I'm so happy to see you talk about Cam & Mitch! I'm actually in the middle of a rewatch rn and I'm remembering how much modern family made me feel okay about being myself :) I would absolutely love to see you do an episode on Glee sometime!!
That proposal scene still makes me tear up a little. I’ve watched Modern Family a thousand times and maybe it’s time to watch it one more time. Also can I ask you do you have a plan to do a video about Schitt’s Creek and David and Patrick couple in particular?
i was roughly 12 when season 5 of modern family was airing, and was just beginning to realise I was queer. While my mum never avidly followed the show, she'd turn the channel to it if it was on while she was doing laundry etc, and though I don't think I ever actually watched the wedding episode, I have a really clear memory of watching Mitch and Cam's competition to propose first/more romantically. The joy they found in their proposal (as messy as it was) and the fact that they finally were able to get married was something that really impacted me at the time, and I'm forever grateful to the writers for giving me a moment to just... feel proud in the midst of a lot of internal turmoil
I watched modern family religiously as a kid. I didn’t know I was gay yet but having this representation of a happy gay couple went a long way in helping me see what was possible for me. I didn’t understand the political climate at the time, and it’s still shocking to me how different things were a decade ago.
Over the past 3 weeks. I’ve been binge watching Modern Family from pilot to finale. All 11 seasons. 250 episodes. About to start round 3 later today. I need a life.
16:42 Reminds me of the sweetest video I've ever seen of a gay man getting down on one knee to propose, his boyfriend started to walk away... and then pulled out a ring from his bag he'd been planning to propose with as well.
At 21:04. Fun fact: Barbara Walters was born the same year as Anne Frank and Martin Luther King, Jr. So, clearly, this very elderly lady was going to have weird questions to ask about these fictional gays and their relationship. LOL.
I could never stand her. Buuut apparently in her later days on The View she was showing first signs of dementia. In those days she'd ask all kinds of weird-ass questions to people. I mean, look at the Corey Feldman interview.
Love how conservatives are always calling people who lean left snowflakes for not liking, for say, racism but the moment someone who isn't like them does something they cry cry cry cry and cry.
With all the things that characters on soap operas, including amnesia, comas, mistaken identity, illegitimacy, and so on, it was a same sex kiss that worried people?!
Mitch and Cam were an amazing couple to be honest, I loved them... but even though that show did such a good work in leveling the field we still get a ton of backlash today because of our "flamboyance"... which is sad...
made me kind of emotional watching this video. I started watching modern family as a young teenaer who had just come out of the closet, mitch and cam's relationship meant a lot to me and their wedding episode is my favorite of all time!
I think the most succinct way to sum up the positive impact characters such as Mitch and Cam can have on people who struggle with prejudice is "Representation matters."
I am so glad that I have found your channel. I've watched a number of your videos and they have been the best binge for my night time chores. Thank you so much for making some of the best videos I have seen.
I was in college when the wedding episode happened, and as a queer person, it meant a lot to see how well loved it was. A decade on, I've finally come out as trans and I wish that network shows were still this ubiquitous - imagine how much we could change public perception of folks like me if middle America saw trans characters in this fun, mundane way?
14:30 this also included some very powerful gaslighting. Case in point I remember so many people genuinely shocked about what proposition 8 actually did despite having voted for it, having been convinced the bill was to stop teaching about homosexuality in elementary schools.
I remember watching Modern Family for the fist time with my sister, and getting pissed at the two men, living together and *with a daughter*, calling each other "boyfriend". I completely forgot it had been illegal in the U.S.
well im crying lmao, im only a bit older than modern family itself so ive never really experienced the fight for equality the same way generations before me did so i tend to forget how much my life is also impacted by these steps forward. this video really reminded me and now im crying.
I remember this show first season came out when I was in high school, a classmate of mine told me that there were gay couples in it. My high school self who grew up without understanding the concept thought it was weird. Although the concept stuck in the back of my memories. Fast forward a couple of years later, a (straight) senior in university recommended this to me (by this time, I have already realised that I was queer woman) so I was intrigued and proceeded to watch it. It was funny, but most of all, it normalised gay relationships in mainstream media. It wasn’t the best portrayal, but I love how it is palatable to most people.
19:46 In other words, treat gay characters like they're just normal whole human beings, just like everyone else. And viewers begin to realize that gay humans in real life are ALSO normal whole human beings just like everyone else, and not all the bigoted stereotypes they've been led to believe.
Ugh, it's always about an agenda. No one is forcing anything on children, except for the ones who are so wound tight, they could squeeze atomic cellulose out of their overly prominent pores. Anyways, I love this video and love your channel and how educational it is. Thank you. 🥂❤
I had avoided this show just because, at the time, I was in that demographic that felt that the sitcom format had run it's course. But now I'm gonna go back and watch the show front to back. Thanks for the inspiration!
oh yeah, the families were incredibly wealthy orange county california white people. but we have to take the good representation where we can. maybe next we can have something similar with a bit more diversity.
@@sinnsage They lived on the West Side, not in Orange County. The wealth is comparable but from a sociopolitical standpoint it’s still a world of difference.
They aren’t even wealthy wealthy tho, Mitch and cam live in a duplex. California does cost money and most of the family is well to do but if they were in Nebraska only Jay and Gloria would be considered wealthy since everyone else’s homes are smaller and subdued
The reality is this show is pretty conservative, and a lot of the jokes are super racist, and it also is pretty stereotypical and sometimes offensive in treating homosexuality. It clearly comes from upper class people who are probably not progressive, outside of certain neoliberal ideas that are only aesthetically progressive. Is no wonder the families where wealhy and priviledged as well.
@@SamAronow the west side of what? i am from southern cali and spent a ton of time in LA and orange county, just basing that off the locations i’ve seen on the show but if you mean like they live in westwood or near ucla, the outdoor locations just don’t appear to be that busy. but yeah, it’s incredibly expensive to live there, towards the other comments saying that they aren’t that rich, i can tell you’ve never tried to rent or buy property in LA/orange county lol.
Matt how could you do this to me? My eyes were welling up with tears in anticipation and you ignored the best scene! Jay walking Mitch down the aisle is my favorite moment from Modern Family. I feel cheated out of a good cry. 😪
18:47 made me cry and I wasn’t even watching the episode. Just the way you described everything leading up to that moment was so perfect. I wish I watched Modern Family back when it was airing. I was already out at the time but I was depressed at how my own parents felt about it. It took a loooong time for things to get better but I’m glad they did for everyone. It’s a perfect example of why shows and stories like this are so important
my mother used to tell me that seeing cam and mitch really opened her eyes to seeing that gay parents are super normal. we’re from los angeles, it’s not like we didn’t have gay people around us, but gay family life was pretty removed from our experience. seeing a family have the same struggles as her helped so much that she’s a hardcore advocate for my trans rights today:,)
With conservatives taking over the Supreme Court and overturning Roe v. Wade, it disturbing to think they could try to go after marriage equality next. I hope not, but it’s an unsettling trend.
There is no doubt that right-wing conservatives are working on chipping away at the rights that were gained after the _Obergefell v. Hodges_ decision. They are hell bent on carving out exceptions with the goal to get a legal challenge before the Supreme Court.
Matt, this video and your video on Ellen's coming out just made me bawl. It's just so hard to be a gay person and sometimes I just don't understand why people hate us so much. Thank you for these videos; knowing our history and the sacrifices and risks of the people who came before us is so important.
"We don't love pink!" "...You love pink." "No, pink loves me." I have never seen this show before in my entire life and this was the most quotable line I've ever heard.
OMG, "Back To You!" Nobody remembers that but I do! I swear I almost thought I dreamt it up! hahaha That, and "Boss" was it? Also starring Kelsey. It seems nobody remembers him for anything other than Frasier which while understable is somewhat, sad. "Back to You" did feel like a blob of cliches smashed together and super kinda fake-feeling (as if the show was aware it was a show and trying too hard) but it could have been quite good actually if it went a little differently. A shame.
![BOWKYLION - วิงวอน (ex-change) [Official MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/cLdnZWDaO-w/mqdefault.jpg)
I remember my mom scoffing at modern family when it was being advertised, “it’s disgusting that they are normalizing this as a modern family” she said. She went through an extreme stage of depression a few years later, and modern family was the only thing that made her laugh in months. As of today, I have come out to her and she is my best friend. This show changed so many minds.
That’s sweet!
Honestly Modern family deserves way more credit for helping the LGBT movement. A lot of people site this show as their first gay couple they knew.
They're one of my first, my first gay couple I knew was Kurt and Blaine from Glee
@@bellaknightR597 Cough! Will & Grace!!!!
@@ScribblebytesWorldwide I've never seen that
Without Will and Grace there is no Modern Family
@@falconeshield I'm not saying there wasn't gay couples before, I'm saying Mitch and Cam were the first gay couple they connected with. If it wasn't for you, that's wonderful to.
I just want to say it was crazy to follow the progression of my straight parents' views towards gay relationships over the course of the decade they watched Modern Family. I had an extremely repressed childhood due to my parents sheltering me from the mere idea of gay people existing, and in 2009 they were adamant about Modern Family being "inappropriate" for having the audacity to show a gay couple raising a kid. They also didn't support gay marriage at the time.
Still, even despite that, it became one of their favorite shows, and I could just see them gradually warm up to the idea of a gay couple just living their lives freely, to the point where, by the end of the show, they often said they related the most to Cam and Mitch out of all the couples even though they had much a closer family structure to Claire and Phil. I could just feel the homophobia drain out of them as I watched the show alongside them, to the point where I finally felt comfortable and supported enough to come out to them myself. By the time Modern Family ended, they were proudly rooting for queer couples in other shows. Schitt's Creek was basically their second favorite comedy show after Modern Family, and they were extremely excited about the weddings in both.
On-screen representation shouldn't just matter to people within the group being represented, but also to people who don't understand the group.
Exactly! When you aren’t showing equal representation of all groups that starts to taint one’s image of the real world. Your neighbors are black, gay, trans, a veteran, everything.
And as for seeing your own representation it is truly like no other. The other day I had the lgbtq channel on and when I sat down to watch it…That was a feeling better than any drug. Just to be able to see two women kissing almost made me want to cry tears of joy. I felt so understood, and for once it wasn’t stereotypical or overly sexual, just love.
Well said. Specially the last part.
This is why I’m okay with the fact that it took Mitch and Cam so long to show affection to each other. A lot of people might not have given the show a chance so it was better to have the characters slowly start to become more touchy-feely as the audience became more comfortable with the idea of watching two gay men in a relationship. Good on your parents for eventually coming around too 👍🏼
So happy for you and your parents. Reading your story actually made me tear up. Beautiful. 💞🤗🤗
Your story gives me hope
As a lesbian, freedom is the mundane. I want to be able to get married, have a house, have a kid or two, etc. Cam and Mitchell show how mundane and boring everyday life is and can be for the lgbt+ community if we can just have our rights. Let us have a boring life like everyone else. ❤️
That reminds me of a joke from somewhere. "Why can't gay people get married? They have every right to be just as miserable as every other married couple"
this! I live in a homophobic country (gen z aren't and a lot of millenials aren't but gen x and boomers are very homophobic) i don't wanna be a revolutionary for loving someone. i want it to be treated as boring as cishet relationships are.
Why would you want a kid and how?
@@magiccheeseball sis never said she wanted kids 🤷🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️ if she wanted one she could have one tho through many ways
@@garyparsons533 what are you taking about? She said she wanted to get married get a house and have a kid or two..
I was raised Mormon and didn’t even know what being gay meant until I was 11. When Modern Family came out I was a freshman in high school. I didn’t try to hide it but I went into different rooms to watch the first few episodes as they came out. When my parents realized I’d been recording the show they warned me that Mitchell and Cameron were living in sin and as long as I remembered that I was allowed to watch it. Cameron reminded me so much of my gay uncle Richard. (That’s right, I had a gay uncle who was pretty involved in my upbringing and my parents still managed to keep it a secret from me until I was 11) I loved it when they were on screen, and I also had a big crush on both Gloria and Clare so the show was a very big part of my queer awakening. The wedding episode made me cry so much. So yeah, this show definitely helped get us where we are today and that’s why representation matters do much.
Wait, your parents looked down on Mitch and Cam for “living in sin” when there was no possible way for them to marry? And that didn’t bother them?
That’s wild.
@@Annie_Annie__ I assume it's because whether they got married or not, being gay is still considered a "sin" to mormons and christians
11 is pretty average
I wish I had anything to watch when I was young. I believed all the negative things I was told. Even that my lesbian aunt who passed before I could met her was mentally unstable (I was told she had been in an insane asylum). I was terrified when I realized I was gay at 15. I waited to come out until I was 24. I'm 60 now. And my family wasn't religious.
Sometimes we liberals look back and roll our eyes at Modern Family, but legitimately I believe that Modern Family helped my parents (especially my dad) understand and accept gay couples and, ultimately, his gay son. I remember watching an episode with him where Mitch and Cam were in bed together (which at the time was groundbreaking), and the bit was about Lilly not wanting to stay in her crib and Cam being upset about it.
Without really thinking about it, he talked about he and my mom were the same way as Mitch and Cam were with their kids. As he sat and laughed and reminisced about dealing with toddlers, it truly never crossed his mind as weird that Mitch and Cam were two dads. I absolutely think Mitch and Cam are what got him comfortable with gay marriage in general.
That's interesting. I've never been able to watch a show without laughing through tears, especially when it first came out. Heck, this video even stirred me emotionally. But, my husband and I lived in Georgia and have been together since 91 and that lack of recognition and that previous lack or average representation were unbelievably frustrating. I think seeing those characters in extended familial settings that were denied to so many of us was spectacularly important. Much more important and poignant to my husband and I than, say Will and Grace.
That's so true, I've seen pretty much the most liberal person on this planet review the show, and they get soooo angry at Jay's existence and think he shouldn't even be in the show! Crazy because people don't realize how sometimes you need balance and conservative points in contrast to liberal and progressive ideas to help bridge the gap and open up people to crossing over and become more tolerant.
@@noncatholiccatholicrat6309 yes that is how we learn and grow
That’s really sweet. I’m bi curious gen z but I try and understand + listen to older generations/people who disagree with gay marriage since it is my choice and I’m curious to hear why.. it’s easy to forget that there are many people out there like your father who needs the opportunity to be presented through a different perspective just like we do too sometimes. I’d rather have a conversation than a rage pointless argument
@@noncatholiccatholicrat6309 I disliked Jay's character at first. PTSD from that show with Christina Applegate as a kid.
And Jay, reminded me of so many wealthy middle aged men, who gets a second younger, foreign wife, in my family. With semi conservative views. "Do as I say, not as I do" type of vibe".
Then I made said relatives watched the show, It brought so many hectic but brilliant conversations at the family Sunday brunch.
Uncles, BIL were talking about how being a cis het man was back in them days and wild anecdotes, that makes you ponder.
The cherry on top, of the cake, was that even on their more stubborn (conditioned) bigotry, they acknowledge how much modern T.V. opened their views.
Apparently, seeing how Joan Collins was slapping folks disrespecting her gay son, in Dynasty, made some get a grip and prioritise their beloved.
The Supreme Court decision that cemented marriage equality is the only reason I became ordained: I wanted to offer people in my area the chance to be married in a ceremony the churches refused to perform. Only performed two, but it was enough to convince a few local churches to open their doors to those who were previously denied the opportunity. I love how presenting gay couples in a human light via entertainment media has seemed to help people accept the community that much more.
You’re a good person, thank you xx
That's awesome. Thank you.
Agreed! I've been happily married since 2001 to my best friend. I want everyone to have that.❤️
Bless you!
guy fieri did the same thing to honor his sister
"the year leading up to modern family i killed three people" out of context followed by the link to the actual stories might be the best patreon plug ive ever seen
Lol I did a spit take when I found the clip of him saying that
Im still disappointed that Modern Family didn't end with a pan out revealing that the whole show was the director of the documentary reviewing the footage, him turning to his producer and saying "Yeeeaaahhh...we can't use any of this."
No because that would have been hilarious.
I'd pay good 💰 to see that.
I'm disappointed that it lasted 11 seasons.
@@CripplingDuality Im disappointed that you exist
The Office did that in it’s last season and people hated the decision to show the camera crew. I think it was more due to the boom mike guy was having feelings for Pam rather than the crew being revealed. But showing the crew broke the immersion for some.
Parks and Recs never attempted to show the crew at all aside from Ben’s staring at the camera once in awhile
I know this has been said a million times but SERIOUSLY MODERN FAMILY IS SO GOOD FOR HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS. My parents really struggled to accept my bisexuality, even though they were never strict about it, just thought it was "a phase" because they didn't want to believe it was real, but I think Modern Family really helped them see that a gay couple was just like any straight couple (maybe just with some new concerns), and had the same struggles and lifestyle as them. I think seeing Mitch and Cam helped them accept my sexuality.
This comment is a year old but same!! My dad was super homophobic and didn’t want to even watch it, but I had an episode on and he couldn’t help but laughing at something Cam had said. From then he was hooked, and after a while he didn’t care if people were gay or straight, it was wild to see the evolution.
I remember being really angry that Modern Family had these two gay characters on that were basically both castrated and unable to show any physical affection more than a hug. I’m glad you talked about that… it makes a lot more sense now!
Literally…. I got so much crap for stating how both characters were so badly written and a narrow view of what a gay couple could be but I was alive during that time but it’s still quite …. Shocking
@@biutifulmediauk8856 We needed media essayist back in the wild west of YT era (2005-09) but most were still in school lol
@@falconeshieldthey were learning how to write essays
I get it. Also makes sense why they didn't allow intimacy. You need to introduce things like that step by step as times change and people get more comfortable around the idea. Doing it all at once wouldve probably stopped a lot of people from watching. People who really benefitted from seeing gay people as main characters and slowly warming up to the idea that being gay isn't so bad.
And nowadays its fine to have gay characters be just as overly affectionate as straight couples on TV shows. :)
I love the fact that depicting a gay couple as human beings was revolutionary. Like....wow.
No joke, I grew up with my mom's favorite cousin and his partner of many years in our family, but never recognized them as being gay in the 90's - because what I'd been told about the world "gay" was nothing but this weird bucket of negative garbage, and they were just a nice couple in the family that everyone called "friends". So somehow I just didn't make the connection that they were clearly two men who were a couple!
Surprise surprise, you keep catering to bigots, the world doesn't progress.
In my country, it's unfortunately still not😢
Isn't funny how people are so incensed about gay marriage, but they don't raise funds or a ruckus about affairs or love children. The sanctity of marriage, huh?
they used to
Those children were accidentally conceived and purposefully abandoned like God intended!
@@thepurpleshade486
When? For a long time men having affairs was a pretty standard part of life
@@robertloerwald3 More accepted than gay marriage, even. Pretty standard
I think that’s the caustic point Michele was making.
I could be wrong about Michele’s point, but that’s how I took it.
Not that I’m happy about it, you understand; I just agree it was true
@@InimicalWit
I agree, too. The Purple Shade was saying people used to care about cheating (at least I think that’s what they were saying). Personally, I think it’s much less acceptable now
I have a cousin that recently came out as gay to the family. Their mom was upset because she was worried her child wouldn't have a "normal" life. I gently reminded her that Mitch and Cam had a normal life and she got really quiet. I think it made her think about her child's future and just how normal being gay is. If Mitch and Cam can be happy and successful, so can her child. (I know all you LGBT+ folks already know that, this show is just a good reminder for those of us that struggle with homophobia)
I like this message mostly but also who decides what a “ normal” life is? Its all subjective and I don't think this type of life should be put on a pedestal compared to other types of ways people want to live. You don't need to have a wife/ husband, a kid, live in the suburbs etc to live a good life.
I'm gonna briefly tell my story here, because I cried watching this video and I couldn't get myself to watch Mitch and Cam's wedding for the same reason.
I'm a bisexual, cis woman and I was in a committed relationship with another woman for over 6 years. This was in the 90s, when you were kinda allowed to be gay in public, as long as you didn't in any way show that you were. My partner and I had a little ceremony where we committed to each other, but it was not something that could be done in public (we lived in Oklahoma). The problem was that we were not really _married_ . Believe it or not, the lack of a legally acknowledged marriage really did have an affect on our relationship. I am positive that had we been seen and accepted to be _married_ , we would have felt enough pressure to put just a little more work into saving our relationship. It a lot more difficult to void a legal contract than it is to just move out. As it was, when we broke up, it was looked on as "well, they are GAY; what do you expect?"
I later went on to be married to a wonderful man for 15 years, until colon cancer took him after a 4-year battle (GET TESTED! It could save your life, people). My husband and I were legally married, but we never could scrape up enough money to have a wedding ceremony. I would have been devastated had I been barred from being with him when he passed.
The main reason this episode of _Modern Family_ was so hard for me was that, because of the unwarranted, ridiculous prejudice of the people that we lived among, I missed my only real chance of genuine _wedding_ , and I also lost a relationship with a wonderful woman (who is still a very good friend of mine, per lesbian "law" in the pre-2000s). I missed the chance to be able to be legally acknowledged as a married couple, with all the rights and privileges that come along with that.
You must remember, we had lived through the AIDS crisis and saw many loving, long-time couples who were unable to make decisions for their partners when the time came to do what their dying loved ones wanted at the end. We saw people who were unable to even be there when their partners passed because of bigoted family who refused to recognize their rights.
You may not understand why this episode, and the ideas and attitudes that surrounded it, was so hard for me at the time, but, because of the prejudiced, bigoted lawmakers we had when i was young, I missed out on the opportunity to be a fresh-faced, blushing bride, with flowers and attendants, and all the other things that come along with a _real_ wedding. If I am so lucky as to meet a woman or man and fall in love now, at this time of my life, it would primarily be seen as a cute, "Look, isn't it sweet when old people get married" moment.
I was robbed of a milestone everyone should have right to, if it's something they want. I'm horrified that, with the way things are going politically in our country, this right may once again be taken away. This is something we all need to fight against. There is absolutely NO reason why anyone should have their relationship precluded from all the things that come with legal marriage just because someone else's scriptures or traditions say that it's wrong.
Thank you for sharing your story with us ❤️
Worth every heartfelt word .. Thank you .. TgT
Thank you for sharing your story 💜
A major part of what changed my dad’s mind about marriage equality in the late-90s was that my mom had a friend for years that was gay and they went out on double dates with him and his husband (we’re in Texas, so they also weren’t legally married), had them over for barbecues, etc. They were all four friends.
Well, mom’s best friend had AIDS he’d had it since before he met his husband. So we watched him slowly get sicker and weaker. We supported them and helped them as much as we could, but there’s only so much you can do through that kind of hell.
My dad came home from the hospital one day, hugged me and my mom and said that he realized that all it takes is for one of his estranged family members to waltz in, tell his husband to get out, and there’s nothing they could do. Thankfully that never happened to them, but it made my dad realize how important marriage equality is.
He even said he couldn’t imagine if mom was sick and one of her kids (my stepsiblings) was able to tell him to get out.
Or if when I was grown (I was around 15 or 16), if I fell in love with a lovely woman and someone in her family or some extended member of our family was able to separate us if one of us was sick. Or what if I was having a baby and a bigoted nurse or doctor wouldn’t let my wife in the delivery room with me?
That seems to be what made him change his mind. That plus simply getting to know those friends over the years and my out gay friends.
He realized that his friends deserved to be able to get married and my friends deserved to get married some day, as did I if I was bi or gay (I wasn’t sure what I was at the time).
It still breaks my heart that they were never able to get legally married. It was still another 16 years off when he died.
Thanks for telling your story, and honestly don't give up. It can still happen. You have a right to have the wedding you want. You don't know when but I do think it will happen for anyone who actually wants to get married
Thank you for sharing your story.
Legit no joke, Modern Family helped me so much in coming to terms and getting comfortable with me being bi
And this is coming from someone who has atm two fully out gay uncles, uncles that i didn't hang out as much growing up tho
This series helped normalize the idea of being gay
How do you have two gay uncles? Do you have a huge family or is it one uncle and your uncles husband?
@@LucasFernandez-fk8se I don´t have a HUGE family, like on my mom´s side i have in total 3 uncles and an aunt, it just so happens that two uncles are gay, one with a fiancé. The odds of that are insane i know lol
@@LucasFernandez-fk8se
My niece and nephew have two gay uncles, me and my brother. (Our straight brother is their father)
I owe a lot to Cam and Mitchell. When I was a kid (I'm currently in my early 20s), they had been the first interaction with LGBT people ever for me. I remember asking my parents what the word gay meant when I was watching the show, they explained it, and even then I knew it applied to me. Having this representation so early in life made it a lot easier for me to accept who I was.
They were the least physically-affectionate couple I've ever seen since... Well, my parents.
So they're pretty accurate!
@@beaniepq Very! 😁
what a sick burn
As a lesbian born in 1999- its wild how much the world changed throughout my own teen years. When I was 12 years old gayness was a scandal (Glee was revolutionary and bold for Gods sake) and the gay kids at the highschool were horrifically treated. By the time I was 18 it was much more mundane and even kids my age from conservative backgrounds were more curious than immediately hateful
At least one thing got better
In my school they were still horrifically bullied in school, I graduated 4 years ago and I live pretty far from the south... Outside of school though, everyone has been wonderful to me. Times are changing but not as fast as I'd like it.
In my school they were still horrifically bullied in school, I graduated 4 years ago and I live pretty far from the south... Outside of school though, everyone has been wonderful to me. Times are changing but not as fast as I'd like it.
The title made me think this was going to be a homophobic rant, but I'm glad I decided to click on the video and watch; well made video!
Me too!!! I was so worried... 😩
It’s a Matt Baume video! It’ll be homophobic when pigs fly
@@DeathnoteBB I had never heard of this guy and it just popped up in my recommended so I had no idea what to expect. I now see the type of content he creates
mood
Yep, I went immediatly to the comments to confirm my suspicion, glad it was actually the opposite
As an older person in a same sex marriage, I never thought that marriage equality would happen in my life time. That was amazing! I also never thought that Roe vs. Wade would be repealed. Crazy times.
Lmaooooo yeah
Yeah but 50% of men and 50% of women are against abortion. 70-77% of Americans are pro gay marriage (good) so it’s more popular. Also while Christian’s and conservatives can find love in their hearts for gay friends and family (good), they have moral trouble with dismemberment of babies. It honestly is surprising that it was overturned tbh but I figure we will see if it’s good or bad or horrific or mediocre in the next 2-5 years how no abortion turns out and if it’s bad then we can vote on a reasonable abortion bill like europe has rather than having the court force a decision down that 50% of Americans don’t like. Something more compromisy like a 6 or 10 or 15 week ban like in Europe with caveats for life of the mother. Europe legislated abortion and they’ve never had an issue with it since they all agreed upon the abortion decision together. Most Americans are neither pro or anti abortion imo, they fall somewhere in the grey zone where they want limits (70% of Americans want abortion limits) but many don’t want it gone outright. We just gotta see what happens and come together on all political sides to agree to something and put this 50 year screeching match to rest
You know I'm actually sick of the fact we're constantly held back by the threat of alienating awful people.
Yeah, why do we have to cater to them. They never cater for us
So well phrased
That's why I love anime, it gives no fuggs about Christianist sensibilities.
@@MayaMaya-tj7kw what's Christianist? If you mean Christian than no true Christian would have an issue with gay people
@@naranciagaming no true scotsman fallacy
sometimes with media representation we forget how much they've helped pave the way, and a lot of times they wished to do more. we see this talk point a lot when mentioning legend of korra and steven universe. the creators tried their best to deal with a system that still is hostile to the lgbt community, and they've created precedent. modern family might have aged a bit, but it was still important to us
I remember with she-ra they actually kept cutting the episodes. They had to fight to get that kiss in.
as a teenager watching all seasons on 2018 it never crossed my mind the dificulties about this while the show was being produced... it's surprising and veeeery weird how 10 years ago everything was so different
Hell shit is still difficult to show, Cartoon Network gave Rebecca Sugar a hard time for Steven Universe because it was very gay
Why is it whenever a gay couple kiss they say “we’re pushing an agenda?” No a kiss is just a just, and they call us ❄️😂
If being LGBT is an ideology can someone PLEASE give me a copy of the gay manifesto. Lmao 😂
Now people are more comfortable with gay people. But are doing the exact same spectacle if rejection with trans people
@@ShockingPikachui would KILL for a gay manifesto, preferably written by a red-pilled man to laugh at.
I think the episode is.....clever. The explanation is completely logical, but it allows Mitchel to avid saying "I'm afraid to show show affection to men because I have socialized that that is wrong and i am afraid what would happen if I kissed my lover in public" (God, remember the word "lover"?)
And yet he grew up in “wild uninhibited” California, while the much more flamboyant Cam grew up in conservative rural Misery, and was much more affectionate in his actions. Because you can’t spell “camp” without Cam!
I’m 22 and i still can’t believe for most of my life same sex marriage was illegal like that’s so dumb
38 here, same. Fanatical religion is a huge source of the world's ills, including the indirect murder of so many people in countries where the churches spoke against condoms.
I was barely a fresnmen in high school when same sex marriage was legalized in all states its crazy
@@rawrdino7046 not if they legislate-oh how they LOVE to legislate 🙄
@@rawrdino7046 i was 7! was still in elementary
im 15 and even then it was illegal for like half of my lifespan! i still remember when it got legalized
I came to your channel from H.bomberguy's recent video on plagiarism, where he recommended you. You're a superb presenter. I'm not sure how you're not more angry while discussing these topics of bigotry and the suppression of equal rights, but good on you! You've got a new subscriber, for what that's worth. Can't wait to go through your videos!
Hey thanks for checking out my channel, glad you like it & welcome aboard! :)
OK, the Thoroughly Modern Millie reference was awesome. You also hit the nail on the head with fictional TV show characters being able to soften public opinion. It works for religious and racial minorities, too.
Great video. Being a heterosexual, from the South, and having been raised a Southern Baptist, it was work experience and shows like Will & Grace and Modern Family which basically deprogrammed decades of narrowminded ideology and religious propaganda for me.
I’m not crying. You’re crying.
I remember living in a horrifically redneck town in Alberta, Canada when marriage equality happened here. I was taking a cab ride home from work (we had one cab in town) and the driver was grumbling about something awful having happened.
I was like “Uh. Like what? Did something blow up somewhere?”
“Now the *gays* can marry.”
My queer ass gasped so hard that he stopped the car and tried to convince me that I had no reason to celebrate but I was *bouncing*.
That was in 2005 and I *vividly* remember that moment. (The cab driver tried numerous times to get me to side with him. Dream on, sweetie.) Stephen “Soulless Dickhead” Harper tried more than once to take it back, but no luck.
Must be nice living in a country where gay people can get married.
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme Where do you live?
@@itsgonnabeanaurfromme Yeah. Still in a country where I can't even change my gender marker or legal name changed. Yay. /s
Cam and Mitch were some of my favorite characters on that show. I still maintain that the Man shouldn't lie concert scene is one of the funniest things I've ever seen on television. The set up and their reactions, just perfect. They were some truly great characters and it was fun to follow their arc. I even think they had one of the better endings on the show, much better than some other ones got.
'Unless they really love each otherrr!!!'
i recently started watching modern family and i adore this couple! the sneak peek to the show’s ending seriously has me in tears, ugh the way you worded it 🥹
I remember my parent's church had a special "gay sermon" after this show came out. I wasnt allowed to go even tho I was like 17 by that point. It was not positive. My parents wonder now why it took so long for me to come out to them. Its as if they forgot how incredibly homophobic they were for so long in the 2000s, just because they "had gay friends" back in the 80s and 90s.
The wedding is my absolute favorite Modern Family episode. I always get emotional at the end. I especially love when Jay offers to walk Mitch down the aisle.
Matt , you are a national treasure. Your work on documenting gay history is so wonderful. The production values … the delivery … everything is superb.
I literally just started binge watching this show a couple weeks ago and am on season 11 right now… this video could not have come at a more perfect time!
Same here. I’ve binged watched all 11 seasons over the past few weeks… twice. Starting third round tonight.
that quote from jeffrey richman about cam & mitchell's proposal actually made me tear up bc it reminded me so much of david & patrick's proposal (and wedding) in schitt's creek, and how it wouldn't have been possible without this show laying the groundwork for gay leads in sitcoms. i feel so grateful to be alive in a time where gay leads on tv can get married without question because of how hard those gay writers and actors worked for it over the past few decades
David and Patrick!!!!
@@MattBaume I'd definitely love to see a Schitt's Creek video from you!
Wait... They blurred a gay kiss on CBS in 2009?? I'm old enough to have voted no on prop 8 (and I did), so I definitely remember a lot of how it was back then, but I didn't remember that happening?! It's crazy how far we've come in only 13 years, but also we can't forget how far we still have to go.
honestly the wedding scene still gives me real chills every time
This video is as engrossing as an award winning Modern Family episode. Really enjoyed walking down memory lane with the added insights and commentary.
This is the only TH-cam channel that always makes me tear up.
Now you gome and made me cry! ❤ Straigh chicana forty something here and i love your content so much!! This video really did have me crying. Hapy tears!!! ❤
Absolutely love Modern Family. All the characters are great and I'm so happy that equality for same sex couples has moved in a positive direction. This weekend I'll be attending the wedding reception of one of my very best friends. I'm overjoyed to be able to be there for her as she marries her wife.
I think the most revolutionary part of modern family was Jay and Mitch. I can’t think of another representation of an older dad and adult gay son that are both core parts of the cast. Plenty of gay characters have parents who appear once or twice a season, but Jay and Mitch were on every episode together.
It showed a road map for being a father to a gay son and gay son-in-law. Being grandfather to their adopted child.
Jay being the boomer of the “greatest generation”, the “man’s man”. There must be so many men like Jay out there. Their relationship is incredible effective.
I started watching the show so I would know what you're talking about this episode. Not surprisingly, it's pretty good. I've only made it through most of the first season, and I hope we get to learn more about Cam and Mitch as individuals. Thus far, they're still mostly "the gay guys with the kid".
They get better and Lily steals many scenes.
Most characters got more rounded in later seasons. Except Luke and Manny for some reason
The reality is this show is pretty conservative, and a lot of the jokes are super racist, and it also is pretty stereotypical and sometimes offensive in trating homosexuality, so don’t expect anything too good
@@cervelmola I understand what you're saying, but I would hesitate to call it "conservative". It's clearly progressive by the standards of the older Liberal men who made it. It means well, but it lacks true diversity and intersectionality, and yes, it relies heavily on stereotypes. Maybe it's the best they could have gotten on the air in 2009, or maybe it's just the most they thought they could get on the air, or the most they felt would be accepted given that it was coming out after the very, very anti-gay 2004 elections, before gay marriage was even legal outside of Massachusetts, and when Obama still felt he had to officially stand against gay marriage. An intermediate step, but certainly dated by now, and not half as daring as the many shows of the 70s that Matt has already covered. A single step forward following many steps back
@@MiloKuroshiro Luke like Joey Tribbiani
became dumber as it went along. Surprised He could tie his own shoes at the end.
Cam falling of the couch while attempting to give him a kiss always gets a laugh out of me
I'm so happy to see you talk about Cam & Mitch! I'm actually in the middle of a rewatch rn and I'm remembering how much modern family made me feel okay about being myself :) I would absolutely love to see you do an episode on Glee sometime!!
That proposal scene still makes me tear up a little. I’ve watched Modern Family a thousand times and maybe it’s time to watch it one more time.
Also can I ask you do you have a plan to do a video about Schitt’s Creek and David and Patrick couple in particular?
Yes! How I love that show.
i was roughly 12 when season 5 of modern family was airing, and was just beginning to realise I was queer. While my mum never avidly followed the show, she'd turn the channel to it if it was on while she was doing laundry etc, and though I don't think I ever actually watched the wedding episode, I have a really clear memory of watching Mitch and Cam's competition to propose first/more romantically. The joy they found in their proposal (as messy as it was) and the fact that they finally were able to get married was something that really impacted me at the time, and I'm forever grateful to the writers for giving me a moment to just... feel proud in the midst of a lot of internal turmoil
I watched modern family religiously as a kid. I didn’t know I was gay yet but having this representation of a happy gay couple went a long way in helping me see what was possible for me. I didn’t understand the political climate at the time, and it’s still shocking to me how different things were a decade ago.
I stuck around & watched a lot of Modern Family because the gay couple caught my eye. Everyone in that show is SO hilarious.
Over the past 3 weeks. I’ve been binge watching Modern Family from pilot to finale. All 11 seasons. 250 episodes.
About to start round 3 later today.
I need a life.
Nope. You are fine. Great even.
16:42 Reminds me of the sweetest video I've ever seen of a gay man getting down on one knee to propose, his boyfriend started to walk away... and then pulled out a ring from his bag he'd been planning to propose with as well.
God this show was such a gem, I wish it went on forever
At 21:04. Fun fact: Barbara Walters was born the same year as Anne Frank and Martin Luther King, Jr. So, clearly, this very elderly lady was going to have weird questions to ask about these fictional gays and their relationship. LOL.
I could never stand her. Buuut apparently in her later days on The View she was showing first signs of dementia. In those days she'd ask all kinds of weird-ass questions to people. I mean, look at the Corey Feldman interview.
wait what "Fizbo is NOT gay, hes asexual 😔😔" is actually hilarious 😭😭😭
Love how conservatives are always calling people who lean left snowflakes for not liking, for say, racism but the moment someone who isn't like them does something they cry cry cry cry and cry.
With all the things that characters on soap operas, including amnesia, comas, mistaken identity, illegitimacy, and so on, it was a same sex kiss that worried people?!
Definately my favourite channel on youtube. Seeing how far weve come captured in sitcoms is amazing and makes me cry sometimes.
Mitch and Cam were an amazing couple to be honest, I loved them... but even though that show did such a good work in leveling the field we still get a ton of backlash today because of our "flamboyance"... which is sad...
Between Cam and Mitch and Kurt Hummel, 2009 was a huge year for major gay characters on TV
Your videos are always so uplifting. Thank you!!
made me kind of emotional watching this video. I started watching modern family as a young teenaer who had just come out of the closet, mitch and cam's relationship meant a lot to me and their wedding episode is my favorite of all time!
I think the most succinct way to sum up the positive impact characters such as Mitch and Cam can have on people who struggle with prejudice is "Representation matters."
Especially when couched in humour!
I still remember where I was when I first heard about the Supreme Court decision. It was such a happy day
I am so glad that I have found your channel. I've watched a number of your videos and they have been the best binge for my night time chores. Thank you so much for making some of the best videos I have seen.
Mitch and Cam are literally to soul of this show (i my be bias as im gay) but even my best mate whos straight agrees these to literally make the show
AS ALWAYS, fantastic video...
I was in college when the wedding episode happened, and as a queer person, it meant a lot to see how well loved it was. A decade on, I've finally come out as trans and I wish that network shows were still this ubiquitous - imagine how much we could change public perception of folks like me if middle America saw trans characters in this fun, mundane way?
Mitch & Cam were my favourite from the start. Absolutely loved them! 😊
Oh Arnold, I'm so disappointed in you. Tsk tsk.....
Thank you. Watching from Alaska.
14:30 this also included some very powerful gaslighting. Case in point I remember so many people genuinely shocked about what proposition 8 actually did despite having voted for it, having been convinced the bill was to stop teaching about homosexuality in elementary schools.
I remember watching Modern Family for the fist time with my sister, and getting pissed at the two men, living together and *with a daughter*, calling each other "boyfriend". I completely forgot it had been illegal in the U.S.
Whenever I need to cheer up, I head over to one million moms. They're fucking hilarious in their delusion 😂
well im crying lmao, im only a bit older than modern family itself so ive never really experienced the fight for equality the same way generations before me did so i tend to forget how much my life is also impacted by these steps forward. this video really reminded me and now im crying.
I remember this show first season came out when I was in high school, a classmate of mine told me that there were gay couples in it.
My high school self who grew up without understanding the concept thought it was weird. Although the concept stuck in the back of my memories.
Fast forward a couple of years later, a (straight) senior in university recommended this to me (by this time, I have already realised that I was queer woman) so I was intrigued and proceeded to watch it. It was funny, but most of all, it normalised gay relationships in mainstream media. It wasn’t the best portrayal, but I love how it is palatable to most people.
19:46 In other words, treat gay characters like they're just normal whole human beings, just like everyone else. And viewers begin to realize that gay humans in real life are ALSO normal whole human beings just like everyone else, and not all the bigoted stereotypes they've been led to believe.
Watching any footage of marriage equality rally celebrations and mars rover landing celebrations make me immediately tear up
As someone that loves Modern Family, this was such an interesting topic to talk about the show. Thank you ❤
Ugh, it's always about an agenda. No one is forcing anything on children, except for the ones who are so wound tight, they could squeeze atomic cellulose out of their overly prominent pores. Anyways, I love this video and love your channel and how educational it is. Thank you. 🥂❤
This agenda seems never ending. Maybe right wingers need bookmarks.
They indoctrinate kids in church and force a baptism on them and they say gays have an agenda.
I had avoided this show just because, at the time, I was in that demographic that felt that the sitcom format had run it's course. But now I'm gonna go back and watch the show front to back. Thanks for the inspiration!
This is the only channel that always makes me tear up.
I really enjoyed that, well done. Thank you!
Take Care & Be Safe
My only issue with Modern Family is all the fancy vacations. Hard to relate to the wealth.
oh yeah, the families were incredibly wealthy orange county california white people. but we have to take the good representation where we can. maybe next we can have something similar with a bit more diversity.
@@sinnsage They lived on the West Side, not in Orange County. The wealth is comparable but from a sociopolitical standpoint it’s still a world of difference.
They aren’t even wealthy wealthy tho, Mitch and cam live in a duplex. California does cost money and most of the family is well to do but if they were in Nebraska only Jay and Gloria would be considered wealthy since everyone else’s homes are smaller and subdued
The reality is this show is pretty conservative, and a lot of the jokes are super racist, and it also is pretty stereotypical and sometimes offensive in treating homosexuality. It clearly comes from upper class people who are probably not progressive, outside of certain neoliberal ideas that are only aesthetically progressive. Is no wonder the families where wealhy and priviledged as well.
@@SamAronow the west side of what? i am from southern cali and spent a ton of time in LA and orange county, just basing that off the locations i’ve seen on the show but if you mean like they live in westwood or near ucla, the outdoor locations just don’t appear to be that busy. but yeah, it’s incredibly expensive to live there, towards the other comments saying that they aren’t that rich, i can tell you’ve never tried to rent or buy property in LA/orange county lol.
Matt how could you do this to me? My eyes were welling up with tears in anticipation and you ignored the best scene! Jay walking Mitch down the aisle is my favorite moment from Modern Family. I feel cheated out of a good cry. 😪
Modern family was the first representation of gay couple on tv I saw as a kid.
18:47 made me cry and I wasn’t even watching the episode. Just the way you described everything leading up to that moment was so perfect. I wish I watched Modern Family back when it was airing. I was already out at the time but I was depressed at how my own parents felt about it. It took a loooong time for things to get better but I’m glad they did for everyone. It’s a perfect example of why shows and stories like this are so important
Oh my God, I had forgotten Bianca's wedding on All My Children until you brought it up but I immediately knew what you were talking about.
My favorite show. Great video. Thanks for posting
These two were the first openly gay couple for MANY people especially in conservative third world countries like mine.
my mother used to tell me that seeing cam and mitch really opened her eyes to seeing that gay parents are super normal. we’re from los angeles, it’s not like we didn’t have gay people around us, but gay family life was pretty removed from our experience. seeing a family have the same struggles as her helped so much that she’s a hardcore advocate for my trans rights today:,)
With conservatives taking over the Supreme Court and overturning Roe v. Wade, it disturbing to think they could try to go after marriage equality next. I hope not, but it’s an unsettling trend.
There is no doubt that right-wing conservatives are working on chipping away at the rights that were gained after the _Obergefell v. Hodges_ decision. They are hell bent on carving out exceptions with the goal to get a legal challenge before the Supreme Court.
Matt, this video and your video on Ellen's coming out just made me bawl. It's just so hard to be a gay person and sometimes I just don't understand why people hate us so much. Thank you for these videos; knowing our history and the sacrifices and risks of the people who came before us is so important.
It was the Britney Spears episode of glee, no one was beating that.
"We don't love pink!"
"...You love pink."
"No, pink loves me."
I have never seen this show before in my entire life and this was the most quotable line I've ever heard.
"Marriage is between one man and one woman."
And one housekeeper apparently
BAAAM!!!
Was anyone else feeling poor Pepper's trauma from all of that wedding planning?!
I’m glad they kept Mitch and Cam. I love modern family and that pairing is so iconic
OMG, "Back To You!" Nobody remembers that but I do! I swear I almost thought I dreamt it up! hahaha That, and "Boss" was it? Also starring Kelsey. It seems nobody remembers him for anything other than Frasier which while understable is somewhat, sad.
"Back to You" did feel like a blob of cliches smashed together and super kinda fake-feeling (as if the show was aware it was a show and trying too hard) but it could have been quite good actually if it went a little differently. A shame.