Thank you! You're insight is incredible. This is pure CBT in my opinion. But you understand and explain it better than any CBT therapists Ive ever heard!
Makes so much sense and so helpful as always, Daniel! Thank you! From what I've learned from your channel, and from my experience, I think when our brains learn the "why" for our insomnia and the brain knows, "ok, in order to sleep, I'm not supposed to be worried about sleep", it's almost like it can feign calmness because it's trying to "do the right thing" to help protect us from this (imaginary) threat. So like you said, wondering why we're still not sleeping even when calm is the tip-off we're not actually calm! I try to have much patience for myself and my brain when I realize this is happening. It's not easy and rarely if ever do I like it. But I'm also a trauma therapist and I know the brain needs repeated, lived experiences of safety to slooowly relinquish it's defenses. It takes as long as it takes, but the nice thing about healing like this is it stays with you for life. I keep holding onto my north star as you've said, Daniel. Thank you so much as always!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I have experienced it when I started understanding the teachings here. I understood that anxiety was keeping me up. Once that sank in i experienced the silent hyperarousal where i still wasn't sleeping well. I felt like since i understood what's happening why doesn't my brain register anymore that there's no threat? There's no grizzly bear only grizzly fear ( i love this phrase honestly) turns out just the anticipation of whether sleep would happen and would I sleep the night? were still happening in the background as part of the safety mechanism in our brains. Now i know its impossible to fully lower the worry to zero and we're only learning to let the anxiety and all the sensations pass by that teaches our brain that it's not productive to do this every night when there's no threat. When we don't respond by trying to fight or ignore those sensations it eventually gets the message. Tho It takes such a long time 😅. Im still grateful that i can confidently say im in a better place than last year where i was so scared and started disliking nights. Now im fine and grateful with whatever sleep i do get.
@@susanashley8454 I was about to tag you funnily because I could relate to the fact that I get sleepy other times but it goes away when I actually go to bed or I know that if I go to bed say to nap I know for sure that sleepiness will be gone 😅😅
Yep. I am up at 2-3 am every night still even though it doesn’t bother me. I read for a while and go back to sleep without much thought about it. But yeah, still wake up every night. I figure it will just get better on its own??? I now fall asleep quickly at beginning of night and usually sleep until alarm in the morning or close to it. Definitely better but only the mid-night awakening remains.
I'm kinda thinking at this point that as long as the matter of sleep hits the brain - even the tiniest bit - no matter how calm I am - that's it, I'm gonna have a harder time falling asleep. And the reason I say this is because I notice that every, single time ...and I mean every time my attention is fully and completely given to some night time activity at hand (watching something really attention grabbing in TV m, reading a great book) I fight to keep my eyes open! Because at that particular moment, sleep is the last thing on my mind. So naturally, it comes sneaking up on me and hits me over the head. The challenge for me has now become, when sleep sneaks up on me like that, can I fall right back asleep after making it into bed. 😏 Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
Guilty, I start off calm and I feel calm in myself but after awhile I get hidden arousal because I’m pondering why I’m not asleep which then leads to additional hyperarousal because I get frustrated. Is there a way to address this?
As you mentioned “just don’t understand why” that’s the silent hyperarousal. As your still thinking the big “why” then that can lead to different thoughts and so on
Thank you! You're insight is incredible. This is pure CBT in my opinion. But you understand and explain it better than any CBT therapists Ive ever heard!
Makes so much sense and so helpful as always, Daniel! Thank you! From what I've learned from your channel, and from my experience, I think when our brains learn the "why" for our insomnia and the brain knows, "ok, in order to sleep, I'm not supposed to be worried about sleep", it's almost like it can feign calmness because it's trying to "do the right thing" to help protect us from this (imaginary) threat. So like you said, wondering why we're still not sleeping even when calm is the tip-off we're not actually calm! I try to have much patience for myself and my brain when I realize this is happening. It's not easy and rarely if ever do I like it. But I'm also a trauma therapist and I know the brain needs repeated, lived experiences of safety to slooowly relinquish it's defenses. It takes as long as it takes, but the nice thing about healing like this is it stays with you for life. I keep holding onto my north star as you've said, Daniel. Thank you so much as always!!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I have experienced it when I started understanding the teachings here. I understood that anxiety was keeping me up. Once that sank in i experienced the silent hyperarousal where i still wasn't sleeping well. I felt like since i understood what's happening why doesn't my brain register anymore that there's no threat? There's no grizzly bear only grizzly fear ( i love this phrase honestly) turns out just the anticipation of whether sleep would happen and would I sleep the night? were still happening in the background as part of the safety mechanism in our brains. Now i know its impossible to fully lower the worry to zero and we're only learning to let the anxiety and all the sensations pass by that teaches our brain that it's not productive to do this every night when there's no threat.
When we don't respond by trying to fight or ignore those sensations it eventually gets the message. Tho It takes such a long time 😅.
Im still grateful that i can confidently say im in a better place than last year where i was so scared and started disliking nights.
Now im fine and grateful with whatever sleep i do get.
@@Sunflowersarepretty Your very last sentence...YES!!!
@@susanashley8454 I was about to tag you funnily because I could relate to the fact that I get sleepy other times but it goes away when I actually go to bed or I know that if I go to bed say to nap I know for sure that sleepiness will be gone 😅😅
Yep. I am up at 2-3 am every night still even though it doesn’t bother me. I read for a while and go back to sleep without much thought about it. But yeah, still wake up every night.
I figure it will just get better on its own??? I now fall asleep quickly at beginning of night and usually sleep until alarm in the morning or close to it. Definitely better but only the mid-night awakening remains.
I'm kinda thinking at this point that as long as the matter of sleep hits the brain - even the tiniest bit - no matter how calm I am - that's it, I'm gonna have a harder time falling asleep. And the reason I say this is because I notice that every, single time ...and I mean every time my attention is fully and completely given to some night time activity at hand (watching something really attention grabbing in TV m, reading a great book) I fight to keep my eyes open! Because at that particular moment, sleep is the last thing on my mind. So naturally, it comes sneaking up on me and hits me over the head. The challenge for me has now become, when sleep sneaks up on me like that, can I fall right back asleep after making it into bed. 😏 Sometimes I do. Sometimes I don't.
I’m here because I’m “there”! 🥴
Hey Daniel, I've got an experience regarding what this video is covering. Is there a way i could DM you or contact you?
Guilty, I start off calm and I feel calm in myself but after awhile I get hidden arousal because I’m pondering why I’m not asleep which then leads to additional hyperarousal because I get frustrated.
Is there a way to address this?
I feel the same no anxiety just calm and relaxed but still can’t sleep just don’t understand why .
As you mentioned “just don’t understand why” that’s the silent hyperarousal. As your still thinking the big “why” then that can lead to different thoughts and so on