This was wonderful guys!! Jimmy don't feel pressured to "get on women". Part of your impact when addressing men is that you ARE a man. Helping women to understand what our male partners need from us is huge, but we still have to figure out how to give it while maintaining self-respect as a female. The need for emotional safety is a catalyst for me. Everything flows from that place. My partner can talk to me about anything from that space and we can even laugh through it because of mutual safety. I would love to hear more about creating that space for men who have also been in previous toxic relationships. Thanks for this conversation. Both of your openness means the world!!🙏🏽💜💜
I’m soo resentful. I’ve waited 13 years for this guy and he’s finally telling his kids and bringing me into the picture.( he wanted to wait until his kids had graduated high school) and now that the process is starting, I have so much angrier that I waited so long. ( forgot to say: loove Jimmys advice! He is the greatest! )
My avoidant attachment and fear of conflict has made it impossible for me to hear my wife or come to her with honesty. Not her fault. My avoidance has created resentment. I don’t express (nor can I accurately identify) what I want/need and that has made me blind to her wants and needs. Never mind that she’s told me hundreds of times. This has all been on me from the start. I’m going to make an effort this weekend to put everything I fear aside and hear her, ask her how she needs me to show up with how she needs love to be shown, and what I can do to show it. I have switched myself off for too long, and it’s caused unnecessary pain, anguish and resentment. It will NEVER work if I don’t try. Thank you BOTH.
It’s not that it’s easier for us to talk about our emotions, but rather that we cannot survive without doing so. It’s not really optional For us AT ALL to thrive
LOL!! I'm the extrovert. My husband and I have a clear "ask first" boundary. He knows about all my friends but he doesn't always care to hear all the details. But when I mention someone in passing he'll say "Who?" "Coffee guy from Twitter" "Ah OK continue". I had to learn to not take it personally if he doesn't care about them. He had to learn not to take it personally that I do. :)
Im so resentful, I feel like I do everything in our relationship and my gf does nothing but sit back and accept what I give and do for her. If I bring it up, she says she's too tired or stressed to give me the same effort I give her
Do you have any advice for how to bring up 'checking in' or talking about intentionally building a healthy relationship with a new partner? I am a year out of a very toxic failed marriage. I've learned a lot since then about how I can show up better next time. Now I'm seeing someone new and really want to grow it in a healthy way from the beginning, but am unclear about the best way to start that conversation without my new guy feeling overwhelmed and running in fear😅. Thanks for any tips.
@@yaaklynx56 yup, we built check ins into the Couply app. So you’ll get reminders and then it’s a “third party” reminding you to check in vs needing to have a serious conversation about it
I wonder if anxious and avoidant relationships were born after schooling was invented, as it eroded the relationships between parents and children by keeping them apart significantly so that their relationship had to be truly limited. And children were spending most of their time in inauthentic relationships in an institution
It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward
@@couplyappagreed- and whether that freaks everyone out completely or is enveloped in trust is also reflective of and influences it’s impact on the relationship itself
@@couplyappthis is true even for a single person, too. They may or may not always be engaged or particularly interested in their sexuality all the time- and this is an aspect of their sexuality too. So much of the incredible truth dropped in this video really has to land inside the individual first- as our relationship with ourself improves, our external relationships improve. And disappointing relationships around us point us to that growth.
It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward
There was a lot of fluff here but there was gold content here, too. I wrote it all down, it's what my boyfriend needs to hear from me.
Appreciate that!
This was wonderful guys!! Jimmy don't feel pressured to "get on women". Part of your impact when addressing men is that you ARE a man. Helping women to understand what our male partners need from us is huge, but we still have to figure out how to give it while maintaining self-respect as a female. The need for emotional safety is a catalyst for me. Everything flows from that place. My partner can talk to me about anything from that space and we can even laugh through it because of mutual safety. I would love to hear more about creating that space for men who have also been in previous toxic relationships. Thanks for this conversation. Both of your openness means the world!!🙏🏽💜💜
This is the kindest comment I’ve ever got, THANK YOU
@@couplyapp Well you are quite welcome and deeply deserving of many more. Keep going strong!✨️🙏🏽
Excellent points! Much appreciated! Thank you for helping us heal our relationships!!!! For giving us tools! Keep up the good work mates!
Thank you for watching!
I’m soo resentful. I’ve waited 13 years for this guy and he’s finally telling his kids and bringing me into the picture.( he wanted to wait until his kids had graduated high school) and now that the process is starting, I have so much angrier that I waited so long.
( forgot to say: loove Jimmys advice! He is the greatest! )
My avoidant attachment and fear of conflict has made it impossible for me to hear my wife or come to her with honesty. Not her fault. My avoidance has created resentment. I don’t express (nor can I accurately identify) what I want/need and that has made me blind to her wants and needs. Never mind that she’s told me hundreds of times. This has all been on me from the start. I’m going to make an effort this weekend to put everything I fear aside and hear her, ask her how she needs me to show up with how she needs love to be shown, and what I can do to show it. I have switched myself off for too long, and it’s caused unnecessary pain, anguish and resentment. It will NEVER work if I don’t try. Thank you BOTH.
Great that you have had this "cold water" realization. What are the first steps you will be taking? Best wishes
It’s not that it’s easier for us to talk about our emotions, but rather that we cannot survive without doing so. It’s not really optional
For us AT ALL to thrive
LOL!! I'm the extrovert. My husband and I have a clear "ask first" boundary. He knows about all my friends but he doesn't always care to hear all the details. But when I mention someone in passing he'll say "Who?" "Coffee guy from Twitter" "Ah OK continue". I had to learn to not take it personally if he doesn't care about them. He had to learn not to take it personally that I do. :)
I wish every couple would listen to this. Invaluable advice as always!
Thanks so much for tuning in 🙏🏻
Thanks so much for this conversation!
@@LauraVolpintesta ♥️♥️♥️♥️ thank you for tuning in!!
Im so resentful, I feel like I do everything in our relationship and my gf does nothing but sit back and accept what I give and do for her. If I bring it up, she says she's too tired or stressed to give me the same effort I give her
If she isn’t your wife, this is the time to get out of a dysfunctional relationship.
This episode was a fun one! Thank you Jimmy!!
Do you have any advice for how to bring up 'checking in' or talking about intentionally building a healthy relationship with a new partner? I am a year out of a very toxic failed marriage. I've learned a lot since then about how I can show up better next time. Now I'm seeing someone new and really want to grow it in a healthy way from the beginning, but am unclear about the best way to start that conversation without my new guy feeling overwhelmed and running in fear😅. Thanks for any tips.
@@yaaklynx56 yup, we built check ins into the Couply app. So you’ll get reminders and then it’s a “third party” reminding you to check in vs needing to have a serious conversation about it
I wonder if anxious and avoidant relationships were born after schooling was invented, as it eroded the relationships between parents and children by keeping them apart significantly so that their relationship had to be truly limited. And children were spending most of their time in inauthentic relationships in an institution
@@LauraVolpintesta before that children were also in the workforce 😬
It isn’t easy for a woman to get out of an abusive relationship if it means poverty for her and her children.
Sometimes it's not about the financial it's about the family setting and not realizing the chaos is hurting everyone.
Hi from FINLAND 🎉
@@suvisillanpaa-zx3bc oh hayyyyyy
It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward
People who get defensive don't separate the who(who they are in Christ) and the do(their actions)
The sex life is reflective of the whole relationship
@@LauraVolpintesta most of the time, but it’s normal for sex to go up and down depending on what’s happening in your life as well!
@@couplyappagreed- and whether that freaks everyone out completely or is enveloped in trust is also reflective of and influences it’s impact on the relationship itself
@@couplyappthis is true even for a single person, too. They may or may not always be engaged or particularly interested in their sexuality all the time- and this is an aspect of their sexuality too. So much of the incredible truth dropped in this video really has to land inside the individual first- as our relationship with ourself improves, our external relationships improve. And disappointing relationships around us point us to that growth.
i don't do dishes AND i don't know her love language :)
Ahmed but you DO use Couply!! So soon you’ll know her love language at least 🤣😂
😂😂😂@@couplyapp
It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward
@@LauraVolpintesta that’s true but also the structure of families and relationship dynamics have radically shifted