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There was a lot of fluff here but there was gold content here, too. I wrote it all down, it's what my boyfriend needs to hear from me.

Bottom line for men. No absolutely gorgeous woman is going to stick it out. Find you a good hearted, compassionate, people pleasing fat girl with a nice face, shrink her down on a low-carb diet, lot’s of make up and set up relationship counciling.

My avoidant attachment and fear of conflict has made it impossible for me to hear my wife or come to her with honesty. Not her fault. My avoidance has created resentment. I don’t express (nor can I accurately identify) what I want/need and that has made me blind to her wants and needs. Never mind that she’s told me hundreds of times. This has all been on me from the start. I’m going to make an effort this weekend to put everything I fear aside and hear her, ask her how she needs me to show up with how she needs love to be shown, and what I can do to show it. I have switched myself off for too long, and it’s caused unnecessary pain, anguish and resentment. It will NEVER work if I don’t try. Thank you BOTH.

Excellent points! Much appreciated! Thank you for helping us heal our relationships!!!! For giving us tools! Keep up the good work mates!

LOL!! I'm the extrovert. My husband and I have a clear "ask first" boundary. He knows about all my friends but he doesn't always care to hear all the details. But when I mention someone in passing he'll say "Who?" "Coffee guy from Twitter" "Ah OK continue". I had to learn to not take it personally if he doesn't care about them. He had to learn not to take it personally that I do. :)

It isn’t easy for a woman to get out of an abusive relationship if it means poverty for her and her children.

People who get defensive don't separate the who(who they are in Christ) and the do(their actions)

It’s not that it’s easier for us to talk about our emotions, but rather that we cannot survive without doing so. It’s not really optional For us AT ALL to thrive

Pathological compassion is what alot of parents do. They smother and spoil their children. My ex husband's mother did not know she was over protecting her son. It was so sad, she didn't want to know that her son was growing and dealing with drugs. She almost ask me to tolerate it. Lord have mercy.

Is your husband like this too?

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HOW HAS THIS NOT BLOWN UPP

Thanks so much for this conversation!

Is your partner like this too?

Their chest is just too comfy, you cant blame her

Or they cant sit still.

Still a W tho

AYE DOMINO!

This makes more sense the other way around, but okay... sure...

Queen stays unbothered

y'all this isn't healthy 😭 neither of you are enjoying it break tf up, maybe try dating women idk 😭

At least hold him sweetheart, he needs your affection right now, he is only a BABY !!!

lol 😂

Fact: Travelling with your baby makes it even more special and joyful...😌❤❤

She wasn't wrong...😂

Everyone’s gonna hate y’all

That baby loves it 😂

15 hour flight with a baby? Yeah so you're gonna make everybody else absolutely miserable because you want to go to Bend Oregon, asshole?

I wonder if anxious and avoidant relationships were born after schooling was invented, as it eroded the relationships between parents and children by keeping them apart significantly so that their relationship had to be truly limited. And children were spending most of their time in inauthentic relationships in an institution

It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward

It’s interesting how it’s become a common joke how women are the only ones interested in this stuff and “men are oblivious” when behind the laughter there is such profound pain , suffering , neglect, destroyed families and generational trauma going forward and backward

The sex life is reflective of the whole relationship

Hi from FINLAND 🎉

I'm interested, but the topic of "productive vs lazy" is kinda turning me off. I fought my way to a doctorate and I work my butt off, but productivity shouldn't be the measure of my worth or success.

Do you have any advice for how to bring up 'checking in' or talking about intentionally building a healthy relationship with a new partner? I am a year out of a very toxic failed marriage. I've learned a lot since then about how I can show up better next time. Now I'm seeing someone new and really want to grow it in a healthy way from the beginning, but am unclear about the best way to start that conversation without my new guy feeling overwhelmed and running in fear😅. Thanks for any tips.

Dont agree, the faster, IF HONEST, the better. Idk

What if i was on Steroids but wasnt aware of the consequences? And reacted horribly to her? And what if i had Trauma and thats why i reacted badly sometimes to a person?

Im so resentful, I feel like I do everything in our relationship and my gf does nothing but sit back and accept what I give and do for her. If I bring it up, she says she's too tired or stressed to give me the same effort I give her