Husband Won't Take Plan Seriously
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มิ.ย. 2015
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Totally. He is spot on. When I was done with my ex husband’s behavior, money and other issues, I was DONE. It really was like a switch got flipped and it wouldn’t go back.
“You either work with me or work against me, and I will not live beside my enemy “
This is like hearing somebody perfectly dissect my first marriage. He is 100% accurate about hitting a point of no return. Nothing in this world could have kept me in that marriage after going through this cycle one too many times. I can see that she's going to do the exact same thing and it's so sad for their marriage and their kids.
She's definitely not alone. I'm going through the same thing, except my husband is 48 years old. He says he agrees to the budget, then he goes off and does whatever he wants anyway. Makes sarcastic remarks about the program, etc. His 'leading' has led us to foreclosure on our home, bankruptcy and basically the poor house until I decided I've had enough. He's a lot of talk and no action or follow through. He doesn't know how to lead himself, much less a family. Men may called to be head of the household, but when he's not a good steward and leads down a wrong path, he loses that privilege. Women are not called to follow their spouses into sin. This has been going on for 10 years and I AM at that point of I don't respect him any more and I'm emotionally done.
hahaha no he didn't say to let him "Lead"
+firebrandsgirl is hard, I have the same problem.
I am sorry you are in that situation. Some people, men and women, can be very selfish. Good luck with your future.
It's very clear to someone like me on the outside that you don't respect him and there are many things that follow that. I guarantee ya'll have a bad relationship based on what I'm hearing in your statements. Y'all need counseling. It works. I promise.
has it gotten better?
As a military spouse she’s going through what I would say 80% of us are. It’s a pain!!
I wish I could meet these folks. This can be fixed. -- Mike Woods, Major, USMC (retired)
She said. We have to take care of business.
He said. Change my diaper first 😊
2 years later.. I wonder where she is now.
Shackled to an overspender and debt... or divorced.
My boyfriend and I don’t combine finances because we aren’t married but he still jokes about how I’m “good with money” and he’s not and it drives me insane because that just makes it sound like if we ever do get married some day then all of the financial responsibility will be on me because I’m “good” with money. No I just have goals and I know it takes sacrifices to reach them and I’m an adult.
Your mad staying with him hell not change
When my friend comes back from the military, he's dead broke. It's idiotic and childish.
shopping addiction is a coping mechanism. For stress, or "needing a reward" for hardships. The interesting thing is that the military is a rigid structure - and then they go wild with their personal habits (like spending).
Preach it Dave.
Steph Reed Can I get an Amen!
my husband is a logical/results oriented kind of thinker but he also has no self control. the best I can do to get him on board is to crunch a years worth of numbers and show him how much money we waste/save both ways.
also (by his prompting) we now have separate checking accounts and he only has access to the account his fun money (when we have it) goes into. I couldnt have made him do that, but i prayed that he would come up with that on his own, and God is good. Because he did.
we have and adulthood problem not a man hood problem. women can be just as irresponsible.
Joe Yugel yep and we've heard many of those stories on this show women who do crazy stuff with the family's money. And throw a tantrum like a child about it.
I think you just proved his point 😂😂
The dude is a soldier, and sounds like a good rank soldier too (knowing how long he is in the military). Those people have decent salaries, there really is no excuse for living paycheck to paycheck when you have income like that and bonuses like that
"
i can related to her. My daughter is selling stuff for her school and my husband took it to work. Some of his coworkers bought some stuff and gave him the money for it. I have to turn the order form in on tuesday so i asked him did they pay and he said yes i spend it last night. I said how are we going to pay it then. He said well i thought you would write a check. I said we dont have the money for that. I have everything budget out. I dont know how to get him on board
teresa porter Wow, he stole money from his child? That would have caused a HUGE fight in my house. That's not cool. What did you end up doing?
At the end of this video, you said (in exasperation) “We have a manhood crisis.” I’ve heard other male TH-camrs that I follow say the same thing. Would love to hear you speak more about that.
Monique Lambert...he is correct that there is a manhood problem, but I am betting he would be incorrect in his diagnosis of it, as he is from the old school, blue pill world of male disposability and sacrifice. The Western world has stripped male authority from society, then wonder why men will no longer step up. Men in the West have gone from authority and responsibility to servitude and responsibility. If men do not have authority, they do not want responsibility. You see this in declining marriage and birth rates. It is not women who are unwilling to get married and have kids....it is men who are unwilling. Horribly unfair divorce laws and family courts have made relationships with women very dangerous for men....and men are wising up.
Read The Boy Crises, i cant remember who wrote it but the hard back is blue, it brilliant but horrifying
this was very helpful. thanks again, Dave Ramsey
Braveheart quote. "Where are you going?", "I'm going to pick a fight!"
Some men are longer than others
I wish they'd have a separate group of videos based on ages ... I'm 55, and while I love listening to all his commentary, I'd love to be able to drill down more on what people my age are going through/experiencing and how they're working the program.
Get the app , I believe there are categories
Interesting you say that because I find that these types of calls happen at all age ranges. I have heard this same exact type of call and the couple is in there 50s and 60s
My husband gets very defensive. In his mind, he’s a grown man who works and earns the money. He will keep the fridge full and the lights on. And he can take and do what he pleases with his money after that.
High Midnight I hope you don't get"I work hard for my money".😞😞😞someone else's child
That's right woman ! Stay in your place!! Haha JK that's a horrible way to treat your wife
I know someone where the husband doesn’t keep food in the fridge for them, just for him....awful!
She’s about to find a real man as soon as he’s deployed😬
I like how whenever Dave encounters the "my wife won't budget or my wife spends too much", he tells the guy to respect her, don't tell her nothing, you two are ONE, ECT. But now in this situation, it's straight to the "he's gotta man up" talk
That's the problem with some military men, they want to be big "military men", and not husbands. They aren't real men.
A lot of military guys are like children. Need to have the hand holding in life.
some have a problem to function in civilian life (even if they can back unharmed in body and sprit). They enlist because these are available jobs, they marry because that means independent housing, and the rigid structure _might_ teach discipline to some. But others are lost as soon as they are w/o that corset.
This is a divorce waiting to happen
I take the Military to task on this, they prepare our young young young men for battle, and ignore their blaring need for family management, financial management, personal development, personal growth, yet they take over EVERY aspect of their lives. So, that’s why it’s Military I call out. I’ve had too many war hero friends come home and fail at life, take their own lives, or make a huge mistake because they had no life training, and sank with an overwhelming wave of things that seem normal to us. God Bless them and make them our National Responsibility to train and raise up and prepare for “The Battle at Home.” And put Civil Education back into High Schools and teach Citizenship Responsibilities!!! And I am a Millennial btw, and I wouldn’t mind my tax money going for that, better than training Prisoners with provided Mental Health, Education, family directed counseling, and resources galore, when we set our Warriors up for Failure!! No!!!! 🇺🇸❤️
Dave Ramsey "I'm telling you to pick a fight". Haha, nice!
"5 years from now you would've had enough and you're going to leave" - it's five years later as I watch this. Can we get a follow up?
0:59 the massive disappoint sigh "no better than a slap in the forehead and "saying "wtf"
Those words...'...once a woman is done, you can't reel her back in...'
Guys tend to not understand the sense of security or lack there of there is for us when it comes to finances. We like to feel safe and secure and we don’t feel that way with a ton of debt that is just being ignored. We need a team mate that will accept our fears without judgement and work along side us to bring that peace and security back into our lives.
He is telling the truth. When women are done, we are DONE!
I'm in the same pont right now and not doing so good
Same, husband won't share financial info. Won't do budget and won't let me make decisions on spending. I'm the saver and better money manager, won't listen. Racks up debt on schemes that fail, I don't even know about till much later. Mortgage increases instead paid off, school fees stay in arrears or worsen.
Who writes the checks? I'd sure have a little side savings account going that he does not know about.
Absolutely right. You need to give same advice to misbehaving women when men call in.
You don’t know how to tell him no. Or you LET him buy what he want. I just watched a video on Dave telling a man to be gentle his wife who wasn’t following the plan. Why not tell her the same.
8:29 The financial peace planner isn't as good? lol
Kate - get a job!!!! Next thing out of your mouth "I am a stay at home mom!"
I bet she is so fed up with him that as soon as he deployed. she cheat on him with Jodie. happens every time.
Ok, Dave is right; however, if this were a husband calling in about his wife in the same situation, he’d blame the husband. Everyone needs to act like an adult. Dave’s old school advice and dropping every responsibility on the lap of the guy is outdated and unrealistic. No adult can make another adult do something they don’t want to do - no matter the gender!
Instead of calling him a child, although that may work, she should focus on telling him the high percentage of people that are broke or close to broke at retirement.
And this is why I got a divorce.
Guys if you’re over 21 and have not worked, you got serious problems
Isn't she the one from San Diego?
Um 😐 she knew this man for his works before she married him. His nonchalant attitude is nothing new to her I guarantee it.
🙄 his behavior is not her fault.
Pretty sure they didn't combine their finances before getting married.
@@BernadetteTeachesMusic She should have know what she was marrying. The old adage "Women marry a man to change him, and men marry a woman thinking she will never change at all." has some real truth behind it, and it causes some real friction. A female friend was complaining about her boyfriend drinking and smoking too much. Me: "So where did you meet?" She laughed. I think you can guess why.
Marriage counseling cost money 😂
Married 4 yrs?
Tell credit card cos. you are not on the card anymore
You let him buy stuff cause you not good at no.
I love Dave, but when it's the man's fault he blames the man, but when it's the woman's fault he also blames the man.
true
Because men were designed to lead themselves and their wife and their family.
Boys blame women. Men look at the issue and fix it - not blame his woman.
Ramsay is right
I agree 100% with Dave's assessment of this, but I think, again while agreeing, the fact he uses weaponized manhood is a big turn off for a lot of men that are too fragile to hear it. He tends to attack unwilling men in a far more harsh way than unwilling women. If he attacked unwilling partners equally as strong as he does men, and with the same vernacular, I think a lot of men would not find him nearly so off-putting. Again, I agree with everything he said, just looking at it from the perspective of some of those he seems to fail to reach. He can say telling his wife to tell him they are headed for divorce is not a threat, it is a reality, all he wants, but those men he is failing to reach are of the mentally that they will see it as a threat.
Her husband needs a mom, not s wife.
We forgot how important our fathers and fatherhood is, we don’t protect this part of our culture. We don’t protect them in schools growing up, the law doesn’t protect and preserve them and the loss of morales among the new generations don’t honor fathers.
And in other news, man calls Dave Ramsey and says his wife spends too much money and won't stick to the budget. Dave's answer to him is that HE has not done a good enough job at explaining things to her or is not listening to his wife to understand her needs.
Her husband probably has Aspergers. The way she described how he was during marriage counseling is a huge red flag.
No you don't have to have Asperger's to be emotionally distant. It's called avoiding a problem you don't want to deal with. Both men and women do it all the time. It's scary but it's also normal. Normal isn't always good.
This women dumping kid in day care BECAUSE YOU MUST HAVE EVERYTHING.
And women need to stop marrying them
What’s the equivalent of a man child in a woman
the "princess" who wants her "daddy"
Jordan Golde no way!! Every woman deserves to be treated like a princess
@@Jojobreez Princess's don't have responsibilities. Either be a queen and be a partner or stay a petulant child for ever. Princess's are children. If you can't act like an adult you can't have an adult relationship.
Jordan Golde well I’m in school for my masters and make 52k as a nurse. I cook and clean and would like to be treated like a princess by my man
@@Jojobreez I think you're thinking of this very differently than I am. You're responsible. You have a job, you want to take care of your man, but you also want him to take care of you. A pretty little princess I'm talking about doesn't have a job, they don't cook or clean or at least they complain about it if they do, and they don't really want to take care of their man or of anything. They just want to be taken care of, not the other way around.
Yes, every man should treat his woman like she's God's gift to him because she is! But women are also people, and people have responsibilities, and if a woman isn't willing to take on any responsibility she's a child, and my woman can't be a child, that's just nasty.
*_The soldiers defend the interests of the U.S. oligarchy NOT THE COUNTRY = most of the population._* They defend the interests of the people that make good money from military equipment, software and wars. Or overthrowing governments in foreign countries for the benefit of the ruling economic class in the U.S. so they can continue to exploit the workforce, the farmland and the natural resources. U.S. oligarchs usually collude with the local oligarchs. Whenever there is a grassroots "We, The People" movement, they cry communism and these brave citizesn not only have to fight their own crooks they have to fight the U.S. /Western crooks on top of that. (and the extraordinary military, financial and diplomatic power of the U.S. government that these crooks can leverage against their own citizens.
That "service" is terrible for many developing countries and it is not good for the U.S. population either.
The U.S. has not been attacked by a foreign army in _centuries_ The army was occasionally used against striking workers or against the WW1 veterans asking for their bonus after the 1929 crash.
(Hawaii and Philippines were bombed by the Japanese but these were U.S. BASES in COLONIES. Hawaii wasn't a state then, it was a colony. And there was no foreign occupying army in U.S. soil for centuries. Literally. the U.S. population has never experienced MODERN WARFARE. Very much unlike Europe, many countries in Asia or Latin America. Even Australia was bombed during WW2 (they use to do 5 minutes of silence in Darwin in the North of the country. I was a tourist and was standing in line in a shop, and asked what this was about). The Australian airforce is now inland.
Neither Korea, Vietnam, Guatemala (or now Venezuela OIL !!), Cuba, China, Cambodia, ... or the many other nations (in Asia and Latin America) that were subjugated with the help of the U.S. military have ever been or could be a danger for the U.S.
Iraq was no danger to the U.S. not in 1991 and not in 2003. The war against Afghanistan had been planned in SUMMER 2001 (the September attacks were a convenient pretext to sell that war to the shell shocked population). And no: 9/11 was no act of war it was terrorism. And the casualties fade compared to what is deemed "acceptable" number of deaths during this pandemic.
I think 50,000 U.S. soldiers lost their life during WW2. What are the CoVd-19 numbers ? 320,000 per Christmas 2020 ?? And with a "middle of the road" death rate like Germany or Netherlands (drawing on the many advantages the U.S. has - SIZE, many rural areas) the inevitable death toll could be around 100,000 max.
I put THUMBS DOWN. not for mr. Ramsey's response. but because she just needed "another" person to tell her, what she already knows!!!
I do enjoy listening to Dave Ramsey but a man called in want a different video pretty much said the same thing about his wife and Dave Ramsey gave him the complete opposite advice and basically said that they needed to seek marriage counseling that the man was actually the problem even though he was trying to get his wife to stick to a budget and his wife wouldn't he was saying that the man basically needed to cater to his wife more instead of demanding that she stick to the budget Dave Ramsey in my opinion lost a lot of points because he didn't give the same advice to the woman that he gave to the man and it comes across as an extreme feminist with a biased opinion when it comes to the difference between men and women trying to uphold a budget. He was basically telling the man that it wasn't his place to tell his wife how much money they have to spend it was bizarre listening to both these videos back-to-back.
romans116and17 was it the one where the wife wanted to buy socks for the kids? I heard one where a husband called in to say his wife wasn’t on board.
I’m dragging him kicking and screaming and he is a good husband otherwise. Sometimes you just have to drag them. We need to live he tells me. Cause he wants a new gun or scope. We have well over a hundred. But I’m not willing to give up so I keep dragging him to our future. He ordered brass today $70 he says. It’ll be $79 and some change I already know. And on the debit card when he has $250 of pocket money a month. Goes out to eat and uses the debit card. Thinking of getting him a checking account with $250 a month and a debit card and giving him $50 pocket money. Need to call the bank...
There's always a spender and a saver... (even if both are spenders, one spends less)
We have raised 3 generations of entitled people trained to expect instant gratification.
Buy now, pay later.
And this is destroying our nation.
Sooner stood up the better. What if something happened to him tomorrow. She'd be stuck with it all.
1:54 I’m sorry, WHAT?!?! Come on Dave, keep it PG!
Dave start holding irresponsible wives accountable the same way you hold irresponsible husband's accountable!
She's going to do nothing!
the issue is dave lived an other time period, his time period being a male is differnt than mine, therefore his views on manhood are invalid form me.
Dave Ramsey dispenses solid financial advice but at the same time displays rather sub-optimal relationship counseling skills. Attacking your partner, shaming, blaming, guilting, etc. is not the way to go. I suggest guidance from someone with good psychology training, perhaps a therapist, in that respect. Man up? This is bad on so many levels. Stick to following the 'baby steps' here and filter out the rest.
You're talking about a member of the military, someone who values both his wife and his masculinity. From a psychological perspective, if you want something and your valued and you attack something he values he's going to have to drop the BS. You can't get through to guys who are in extremely masculine environments all the time by being peaceful and passive about it. You HAVE to be blunt and forceful. They aren't wired to respond to anything else.
Nope. A woman should tell her husband to man up if he’s acting like a child; it’s her right.
My wife let me know how she felt about me being a man child years ago. She did it from a loving place but let me have it. I did love her when she spoke to me and because I didn’t want to lose her I began to make changes. It was her right to tell me, her husband, what she expected from me as her husband.
21 years later we’re better than ever in our marriage, because she doesn’t have to tell me what my responsibilities are anymore; I just go out and perform as a husband.
Cesar ok let us women know what exactly to say... 😅
Man is the head of the household yet Dave is telling this wife she needs to start telling her husband "no"?
Men are not the heads of households. Men and women work together to achieve happiness.
Just because they are "heads" doesn't mean you can't disagree with him. Are men's egos so fragile that they can't hear no? He's a husband, not a parent. And she's a fully functioning adult human. She shouldn't ruin her life just because her husband doesn't want to act like an adult.
Natalie Thomas he is not acting like head of household
If she doesn't want to be bankrupt she'd better. She'll be bankrupt right along with the head of the household.
Natalie Thomas because she's calling in asking advice, not him. He needs a serious wakeup. I was in the service nine years. There is great stress on a military spouse. The military member must realize this, and shoulder the load of their role in the marriage, regardless their role in the military.
smdh at dave saying a combat veteran isn't a man. shame on you, dave.
I don't know why women want all the pay checks anyways tho. When she spend all my money on garbage. Who buys 100 shoes and don't wear them. Will be bankrupt soon.