Modern marriage, you both work hard. The economy is crunching everyone and whether one or both parties are working, you find a way to contribute. It breaks down fast when someone doesn’t carry their own weight in a marriage. The modern aspect is being flexible in who does what.
Thank you for saying the things I needed to hear basically my entire adult life. Women need to hear this! I spent so many years resenting my husband for not being as ambitious and driven as I am. No one has ever given me this prospective. My husband is such an amazing counter balance to me and I was unhappy for so many years because he was not a traditional man. But no one ever pointed out I am not a traditional wife.
I'm enjoying this conversation so much. This is the situation I had before my fiancee's untimely death. Hoping I can experience that twice in a lifetime.
Rebecca I was introduced to you after watching you on The Roommates Podcast and I've been binging on your videos ever since! 😀 I'm so glad I made the decision to subscribe/follow. Thank you for reminding me what I'm waiting and preparing for - and the tools to get back out there! Thank you for sharing your gift and passion. God continue to bless you, Kerry, your family and all that you put your heart and hands to do.
I needed this wisdom sooo badly!....Marry for LOVE ❤️ ONLY!...I'm a 61yr old divorcee of 22 yrs, and feeling "love" desperate on so many levels...This was the WORD I needed in this very moment.. It was meant for me to see and hear this 4 yrs after the taping.....No rushing to Hastily get remarried for me..not for the wrong reasons...Oh No!!!!
Hi Rebecca, so grateful to find your channel. My husband and I been married eleven years and thirteen together, but now we are separated have been for ten months. We both love and respect each other, but have been through so much together that it cause us to start growing apart. Money was one of the issues. Don't know where our marriage going to end up. I hear from him maybe once a month to check on me we both are 51 years old. He is a good man that I feel is going through a midlife crisis and it have affected the marriage. I stay hopeful. Thanks for your channel Iam not alone.
@pre dem - Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", which is claimed to have been published in 1597, addresses "love" outside of a business arrangement. With the help of advancements in paper development, printing, and transportation, novels such as that and others, traveled across the globe, expressing a notion that was, for the most part, subdued. And that was "love", and having a relationship that was not being forced due to family business needs. So yes, legal marriage has always been a contractual business agreement.
As nice as marrying for love is, my parents are head over heels in love but we’re not that rich. 3 kids in a small 2 bed apartment. I would want to fall in love, but I *cannot* live or have kids in poverty. I will not suffer in marriage
Is real when you see them so beautiful, you want to be like them. hE/sHE is your inspiration and the greatest teacher, who you trust within all their beauty, so you can come open and humble, and without the doubt, second guessing or your walls, you learn from them how to be soft and more loving. And by becoming more soft and loving you not only grow into the best person you can be for yourself, your self-love, but that's how you return love back to them. Its a beautiful balance, that happens so naturally you might not even notice this fulfillment take place, that why is called love, is free and simple. And when he/she is the person you go to, to discuss your issues, not your girls or homies.
Ultimate message in this video is great. Despite how awesome/positive the message is, I heard screeching brakes at the 13: 08 minute mark. Despite the female anomalies who may think/live outside the box, most successful women will resent having to lower their dating standards for men who are less accomplished/polished. A man in most cases would unfortunately be subjugated in that type of relationship by default, viewed as inferior by his well educated/accomplished mate.
@Checkdacontract Now - Women don't have a "dating standard". At best, they have a preference that they believe might appease their sexual desires and approval from their female family members and/or friends. These "successful" women people love to praise and admire are some of the most unsuccessful people once a person starts to peel away the facade of their mental health, financial health, and physical health. The "successful" women you are referring to is strongly a myth, or at best, the success is only focused on one or two attributes or accomplishment of the individual person. And that's at best.
@L B - Simps, cucks, manginas, burger boys, and beta males love to sign up for it. And at the end they end up getting burnt, with the blame of the failed relationship place at their feet.
Thanks to a change in the environment, modern marriage is already dead... or dying. Therefore, this institution will no longer be an issue. I would not be surprised if the State eventually stopped issuing marriage licenses and got out of the marriage business all together.
Mrs. Pope means well and her hearts in the right place. But sadly I don't see this getting turned around. We are headed into a very dark stage in the human time cycle.
21:40 one thing that I think you ladies miss (and no offense, it requires you to be a nerd for politics) is that men don't make nearly as much money proportionally as they used too, wages have been flat since 1975 but inflation has increased massively, the result? 2 people working is almost necessary at this point unless you are blessed enough to have a spouse that is upper/middle class, a plumber or welder just isn't making enough money in todays modern economy, the reasons for this are MANY but it's certainly a nasty cause
If you are with a woman who is frugal you and your husband can survive on 50k. That's if you are debt free (excluding mortage) and living in an inexpensive area. Living in a big city like NY with a family it would be impossible.
Sister Pope the information,the self help suggestions,the coaching strategies,and all the energy you put into helping other is well placed cause it looks like in the future the only married couples will be left are old ones like us;the ones that have stood the test of time,the lessons we have learned in trying to find true love,others telling us it is not worth the efforts to even try it,you are wasting your time,it will never happen,so on.Now days people have been turned off it;told time and again don't do it.My question is if you are in a serious realationship,engaged for aperiod of time you still have to do the same thing to maintain that relationship;do what it takes to hold on to the little bit you have obtained together in trying to build the love between two people.Much respect to the Popes just goes to show what a good God can give you if you are willing to put in the work,time and of course thesacrifice for the greater gold to be one together as one unit.#Love Matters;Black Love Matter;Black Lives Matter even more;peace.
I would be ok with making less than a man (working less hours) and take good care of our home. Mind you, I used to think differently and just wanted to be rich. My children may or may not think I am wise for this. But, I know I won't be able to please everyone. Starts with my own definition of success. :)
Good points here..I like your content hun. I think the what we should contextualize from this video is not to confuse partnership with objectivity, and that partnership is engulfed by love. Unfortunately, this concept is not in practice in these times, and that objectivity, validity, fill of void is some of the reasons people get married. If love was truly the object, then the adaptation to new practices among individuals in a marriage would not be a problem. The definition of what love is, a relationship is, morals are lost in society. All being said, the reason for getting married has not changed in a sense. We still marry for objectified reasons and surely not for love...if you can define love.
@Vernard Wilson - Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", which is claimed to have been published in 1597, addresses "love" outside of a business arrangement. With the help of advancements in paper development, printing, and transportation, novels such as that and others, traveled across the globe, expressing a notion that was, for the most part, subdued. And that was "love", and having a relationship that was not being forced due to family business needs. So yes, legal marriage has always been a contractual business agreement. Men and women marry for totally different reasons, which is why women initiate divorces at a higher rate than men. Once that "it" dies off, women are ready to jump ship, and attempt to find that "it" via other sources. "Love" is actually a accumulation of acts which shows stability, predictability, compromising, and compassion/empathy. What people attempt to define as "love" is nothing more than infatuation.
trust me my generation is all types of fucked up. i'm 34 now and i've always done the 50/50 thing cos i usually earned more than the guys i was dating. it was not good. you can't respect him, he doesn't feel masculine, y'all get competitive, it's just a shitshow. now i'm coming over to more traditional ideas after 50/50 lifestyle didn't work out for me. Boys my generation still feel emasculated when you earn more than them. They're happy for you to pay in fact they expect it but i don't think it works in the long run. As shera puts it, being a bob the builder or a pickmesha just isn't that attractive to guys and these feminine dudes who lean on you for help aren't that attractive to us either. My new approach is working better so far. i keep it quiet how much i earn and i'm definitely more comfortable dating more affluent men and letting them pay for stuff, letting them lead and letting them help me with things and give me advice than i used to be.
I believe if we do marriage God's way, God will 1. Hold the marriage together. 2. Prosper the marriage in every way including financially despite the hard economy or despite the wife being traditional and taking care of the home. 3.If the Lord requires the woman to work he will lead her into it. That's why we should constantly be in touch with him. I have seen these principles work in 3 of my friends marriages, I never wanted to get married ever until I saw their marriages work. So I spoke to God about it and 2yrs ago he started preparing me to be a wife.(believe me the transformation process was very tough but I pushed through and God saw me through) Ps: I'd been the ultimate miss independent/boss babe all my adult life, loved God but was never serious with him till 2yrs ago, so everything he's doing is new to me. I don't want to put God in a box and say he cannot call women to business but what I have observed is that he called all of us, my friends and I, out of the corporate world. I'm the last one that's still going through the wife preparation process and I'm happy to announce that I recently met my future husband. In all honesty and not that I'm trying to dispute anything you've said at all, I'm just being candid and stating my observation in my circle and my own life. When I look at the woman I was and the woman God has moulded me into now,I barely recognize the old me. I have a better chance at sustaining a godly marriage now than when I was in the corporate world. I'm more capable of being a submissive wife now because before there was no drop of submission in me. I'm not yet married so I can only speak till this point. I will be back with an update a few years later,lol. I completely surrendered my life to Christ and allowed him to have his way no matter what that looked like after doing things my way for so long. I'm stepping into the new me, stepping into my purpose and getting ready to enter the marriage of my life in Jesus name.
@@moisesbeyond that's such a stupid term a woman who cares about how much a man makes isn't a gold-digger y'all use that term so loosely it is in a female's nature to be hypergamous get over it
@@ritagomes9186 atupid term....or just becuase it shows the double standard of women from one side you want to be equal in power but not equal in responsability....the one who pays more should have more Rights...not otherwise.....that is why the term Gold digger apply...at the end of the day you will allow to be mistreated by a millonaire but not by a poor man....why?
Anyone can love you when the Sun is shining... But, In the storms is where you learn who truly cares for you.
Thank God I discovered your channel. I’m a young man in France and your videos help me a lot 🙏🏾. Abondant blessings 🙏🏾
Modern marriage, you both work hard. The economy is crunching everyone and whether one or both parties are working, you find a way to contribute. It breaks down fast when someone doesn’t carry their own weight in a marriage. The modern aspect is being flexible in who does what.
Thank you for saying the things I needed to hear basically my entire adult life. Women need to hear this! I spent so many years resenting my husband for not being as ambitious and driven as I am. No one has ever given me this prospective. My husband is such an amazing counter balance to me and I was unhappy for so many years because he was not a traditional man. But no one ever pointed out I am not a traditional wife.
I'm enjoying this conversation so much. This is the situation I had before my fiancee's untimely death. Hoping I can experience that twice in a lifetime.
Rebecca I was introduced to you after watching you on The Roommates Podcast and I've been binging on your videos ever since! 😀 I'm so glad I made the decision to subscribe/follow. Thank you for reminding me what I'm waiting and preparing for - and the tools to get back out there! Thank you for sharing your gift and passion. God continue to bless you, Kerry, your family and all that you put your heart and hands to do.
Very smart woman. I'm learning so much listening to her.
I’m working on me,God will send him when I’m ready
all you will get is satan in hell where all women belong and are already there
I needed this wisdom sooo badly!....Marry for LOVE ❤️ ONLY!...I'm a 61yr old divorcee of 22 yrs, and feeling "love" desperate on so many levels...This was the WORD I needed in this very moment..
It was meant for me to see and hear this 4 yrs after the taping.....No rushing to Hastily get remarried for me..not for the wrong reasons...Oh No!!!!
We have 3 people in my family that has been married over 30 yrs and one for 13 years
Nice work RLP!
I wish more sistas could hear your advice & POVs. Keep going ... your messages are so powerful & single ppl need to hear them!
Hi Rebecca, so grateful to find your channel. My husband and I been married eleven years and thirteen together, but now we are separated have been for ten months. We both love and respect each other, but have been through so much together that it cause us to start growing apart. Money was one of the issues. Don't know where our marriage going to end up. I hear from him maybe once a month to check on me we both are 51 years old. He is a good man that I feel is going through a midlife crisis and it have affected the marriage. I stay hopeful. Thanks for your channel Iam not alone.
Right on time! I needed this at this moment.
modern marriages are just for business ,financial and social gain . marriage is also a contract between two people.
@pre dem -
Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", which is claimed to have been published in 1597, addresses "love" outside of a business arrangement. With the help of advancements in paper development, printing, and transportation, novels such as that and others, traveled across the globe, expressing a notion that was, for the most part, subdued. And that was "love", and having a relationship that was not being forced due to family business needs.
So yes, legal marriage has always been a contractual business agreement.
@@thespadestable i think one could say
that is 'normal'
U began to be open ,vulnerable with each other,love the whole person
As nice as marrying for love is, my parents are head over heels in love but we’re not that rich. 3 kids in a small 2 bed apartment.
I would want to fall in love, but I *cannot* live or have kids in poverty. I will not suffer in marriage
Princess May Absolutely Correct, That is why marriage built on “ fickle “ emotions cannot stand the test of time or keep a family together.
Traditional gender role and best friend. Still need order.
Dopest content on relationships on yt right here no bias full spectrum
Yasss , Pastor Speak from the Heart Sis I thank you for that
Thank you 🙏,
Is real when you see them so beautiful, you want to be like them.
hE/sHE is your inspiration and the greatest teacher, who you trust within all their beauty, so you can come open and humble, and without the doubt, second guessing or your walls, you learn from them how to be soft and more loving. And by becoming more soft and loving you not only grow into the best person you can be for yourself, your self-love, but that's how you return love back to them. Its a beautiful balance, that happens so naturally you might not even notice this fulfillment take place, that why is called love, is free and simple.
And when he/she is the person you go to, to discuss your issues, not your girls or homies.
Thanks for your videos Rebecca. Very informative. 👌🏿
Great video/commentary!
Ultimate message in this video is great. Despite how awesome/positive the message is, I heard screeching brakes at the 13: 08 minute mark. Despite the female anomalies who may think/live outside the box, most successful women will resent having to lower their dating standards for men who are less accomplished/polished. A man in most cases would unfortunately be subjugated in that type of relationship by default, viewed as inferior by his well educated/accomplished mate.
@Checkdacontract Now -
Women don't have a "dating standard". At best, they have a preference that they believe might appease their sexual desires and approval from their female family members and/or friends. These "successful" women people love to praise and admire are some of the most unsuccessful people once a person starts to peel away the facade of their mental health, financial health, and physical health.
The "successful" women you are referring to is strongly a myth, or at best, the success is only focused on one or two attributes or accomplishment of the individual person.
And that's at best.
Very true and what MAN is signing up for THAT??
@L B -
Simps, cucks, manginas, burger boys, and beta males love to sign up for it. And at the end they end up getting burnt, with the blame of the failed relationship place at their feet.
Yes he will be viewed as inferior as he should know woman respects a man who makes less than her
Well said
Thanks to a change in the environment, modern marriage is already dead... or dying. Therefore, this institution will no longer be an issue. I would not be surprised if the State eventually stopped issuing marriage licenses and got out of the marriage business all together.
@@crimestoppers1877
Here's that unrealistic ideology. If she has that what in the hell would she want from you 🤦🤦🤦
Nah, the State will penalize men for being married as well as not being married
That type of love ❤️ is rare,but still waiting for my time,not settling
Mrs. Pope means well and her hearts in the right place. But sadly I don't see this getting turned around. We are headed into a very dark stage in the human time cycle.
It has happened in history before...and it will happen again. No surprises for people in the "know".
Khemistry IBMOR that’s why I laugh at people seeing this is the “end”
You’re looking very nice on this video.
Had my ex and I had counseling on this topic and really applied it, our story would've been different. I was supposed to get this now!
21:40 one thing that I think you ladies miss (and no offense, it requires you to be a nerd for politics) is that men don't make nearly as much money proportionally as they used too, wages have been flat since 1975 but inflation has increased massively, the result? 2 people working is almost necessary at this point unless you are blessed enough to have a spouse that is upper/middle class, a plumber or welder just isn't making enough money in todays modern economy, the reasons for this are MANY but it's certainly a nasty cause
thewaterguy17 this makes a lot of sense. Thank you for this insight I needed to hear this!
If you are with a woman who is frugal you and your husband can survive on 50k. That's if you are debt free (excluding mortage) and living in an inexpensive area. Living in a big city like NY with a family it would be impossible.
And god feels it’s my season
Hi! Where is the link for your healing class?
NO EXAMPLES TO FOLLOW!. I HAVE A BRAIN AND A HEART TO USE!. TEACH YOURSELF HOW TO LOVE AND HOW TO ACCEPT LOVE!.
DON'T HUMANS HAVE COMMON SENSE?.
Women still measure men by their financial success....(which they should to a degree) so it can’t just all be love.
Sister Pope the information,the self help suggestions,the coaching strategies,and all the energy you put into helping other is well placed cause it looks like in the future the only married couples will be left are old ones like us;the ones that have stood the test of time,the lessons we have learned in trying to find true love,others telling us it is not worth the efforts to even try it,you are wasting your time,it will never happen,so on.Now days people have been turned off it;told time and again don't do it.My question is if you are in a serious realationship,engaged for aperiod of time you still have to do the same thing to maintain that relationship;do what it takes to hold on to the little bit you have obtained together in trying to build the love between two people.Much respect to the Popes just goes to show what a good God can give you if you are willing to put in the work,time and of course thesacrifice for the greater gold to be one together as one unit.#Love Matters;Black Love Matter;Black Lives Matter even more;peace.
I would be ok with making less than a man (working less hours) and take good care of our home. Mind you, I used to think differently and just wanted to be rich. My children may or may not think I am wise for this. But, I know I won't be able to please everyone. Starts with my own definition of success. :)
Good points here..I like your content hun. I think the what we should contextualize from this video is not to confuse partnership with objectivity, and that partnership is engulfed by love. Unfortunately, this concept is not in practice in these times, and that objectivity, validity, fill of void is some of the reasons people get married. If love was truly the object, then the adaptation to new practices among individuals in a marriage would not be a problem. The definition of what love is, a relationship is, morals are lost in society. All being said, the reason for getting married has not changed in a sense. We still marry for objectified reasons and surely not for love...if you can define love.
@Vernard Wilson -
Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet", which is claimed to have been published in 1597, addresses "love" outside of a business arrangement. With the help of advancements in paper development, printing, and transportation, novels such as that and others, traveled across the globe, expressing a notion that was, for the most part, subdued. And that was "love", and having a relationship that was not being forced due to family business needs.
So yes, legal marriage has always been a contractual business agreement.
Men and women marry for totally different reasons, which is why women initiate divorces at a higher rate than men. Once that "it" dies off, women are ready to jump ship, and attempt to find that "it" via other sources. "Love" is actually a accumulation of acts which shows stability, predictability, compromising, and compassion/empathy. What people attempt to define as "love" is nothing more than infatuation.
How do you work with your finances, I’m making more and almost finished paying for my home.
Wow, the wall had no mercy on you.
Plenty of lengthy marriages but they all have their issues. No “perfect” marriages in my family.
Truism ✅
You looking so cuit
trust me my generation is all types of fucked up. i'm 34 now and i've always done the 50/50 thing cos i usually earned more than the guys i was dating. it was not good. you can't respect him, he doesn't feel masculine, y'all get competitive, it's just a shitshow. now i'm coming over to more traditional ideas after 50/50 lifestyle didn't work out for me. Boys my generation still feel emasculated when you earn more than them. They're happy for you to pay in fact they expect it but i don't think it works in the long run. As shera puts it, being a bob the builder or a pickmesha just isn't that attractive to guys and these feminine dudes who lean on you for help aren't that attractive to us either. My new approach is working better so far. i keep it quiet how much i earn and i'm definitely more comfortable dating more affluent men and letting them pay for stuff, letting them lead and letting them help me with things and give me advice than i used to be.
And be just the man&Woman inspire of y’all flaws,
I believe if we do marriage God's way, God will
1. Hold the marriage together.
2. Prosper the marriage in every way including financially despite the hard economy or despite the wife being traditional and taking care of the home.
3.If the Lord requires the woman to work he will lead her into it. That's why we should constantly be in touch with him.
I have seen these principles work in 3 of my friends marriages, I never wanted to get married ever until I saw their marriages work. So I spoke to God about it and 2yrs ago he started preparing me to be a wife.(believe me the transformation process was very tough but I pushed through and God saw me through)
Ps: I'd been the ultimate miss independent/boss babe all my adult life, loved God but was never serious with him till 2yrs ago, so everything he's doing is new to me.
I don't want to put God in a box and say he cannot call women to business but what I have observed is that he called all of us, my friends and I, out of the corporate world. I'm the last one that's still going through the wife preparation process and I'm happy to announce that I recently met my future husband. In all honesty and not that I'm trying to dispute anything you've said at all, I'm just being candid and stating my observation in my circle and my own life. When I look at the woman I was and the woman God has moulded me into now,I barely recognize the old me. I have a better chance at sustaining a godly marriage now than when I was in the corporate world. I'm more capable of being a submissive wife now because before there was no drop of submission in me. I'm not yet married so I can only speak till this point. I will be back with an update a few years later,lol. I completely surrendered my life to Christ and allowed him to have his way no matter what that looked like after doing things my way for so long. I'm stepping into the new me, stepping into my purpose and getting ready to enter the marriage of my life in Jesus name.
Women take getting pregnant too lightly. That is a BIG deal...Shame on you for telling pregnant women not to marry!
I'm not attracted to men who make less money than me they need to work harder and be more ambitious that s*** is not cute
so you are just another gold digger....who claim you want equality but you want inequality in money....
@@moisesbeyond that's such a stupid term a woman who cares about how much a man makes isn't a gold-digger y'all use that term so loosely it is in a female's nature to be hypergamous get over it
@@ritagomes9186 atupid term....or just becuase it shows the double standard of women from one side you want to be equal in power but not equal in responsability....the one who pays more should have more Rights...not otherwise.....that is why the term Gold digger apply...at the end of the day you will allow to be mistreated by a millonaire but not by a poor man....why?
MEN, AVOID MARRIAGE AND KIDS BY ALL MEANS NECESSARY
*House-dad material right-here!!!
looking for a sugar-bahama-mama
LOL!