I mean, to you a normal human being, easy, but people with mental illness, who where abused as childs or just down right pedos. It's just not "so easy". Some are irreparable people who need therapy and should not go near children, but there are others who struggle with their thoughts and desires and live suffering, not being able to talk about their issues since it's a concept so taboo they are in constant fear to be crucified if they even bring it up. They need help, but feel as if they can't. I hope we could help them not to see the world that way, but we also need to be able to discuss these subjects openly so we can actually help them. I don't mean accepting them, but to help them bury or redirect their desires, to protect children.
as someone who has always liked clothes like crop tops, fishnets, etc., but was uncomfortable wearing them bc of the shame that came with it, this video helps a lot with that. thanks :'>
Honesty ppl being werided out by it are stupid like my grandma told me that fishnets used to be liek somthing that women in their 20s -30s used to wear to look cool and didn’t have any like werid edgy conntions
@@Jett2005dotcom When I younger fishnets were often associated with fashion of the rock and metal music scene. I used to wear them with combat boots. I just thought they looked cool.
Asexual here. It’s really interesting to look at this discussion from a different point of view, as I’ve never looked upon something as inherently sexual and merely have been ‘taught’ that some things are either ‘sexual’ or not. I really don’t understand society’s obsession with bodies and sex in general. To me, bodies have always been just that, bodies. It was quite shocking to find out that somehow the entire world seemed to think differently though? Please say it louder for the people in the back who need to hear this the most!
I'm also asexual and I find it so befuddling. Having a body doesn't make you sexual, and existing inside of it doesn't give others permission to sexualize you. Personally I think of my body as the meaty mech suit I operate, it isn't sexual, it's the only way I can get around. Also I think sexual people don't inherently see bodies as sexual either I'm pretty sure it's just the culture of shame and disgust that surrounds everything that makes them think that. In my mind this culture is built as a means of control, it takes away your ownership of your body and ability to do with it as you please and instead allows other people to take the reins, with the blame for what they did then being put onto you. And in turn it also makes it harder for people to come forward.
As a sex-repulsed asexual I sometimes have dramatic reactions to naked bodies but that's just my own brain and my own mindset. A naked human is just that, a human. A completely natural thing that has nothing to do with the act of sex unless it's in a sexual setting. And the reason why Americans are so afraid of nudity is 100% because of the culture.
I recently had an argument with someone trying to tell them that women's bodies are not sexual and showing off your body isn't sexualizing it nor an invitation to get comments on it and they just kept going back to treating nakedness as inherently sexual and also leaning into some victim blaming rethoric so thank you THANK YOU for this video, I haven't finished it yet but I'm really happy to hear someone articulate this topic because I hate people acting as if a naked body is "provoking".
My argument is always shit like "a single naked body is not sex. My body existing in a vacuum is not inherently sexual. If a woman is naked in the forest and nobody is around to see her nudity - is she being sexual? NO. she is existing in her body's natural state - we were all born naked, and we start wearing clothing afterwards. If a naked baby isn't inherently sexual, a naked adult should not be considered inherently sexual." And the classic has to be "If you cannot see a naked adult body without perceiving it as sexual, that's a YOU problem based on YOUR perception of their body - they aren't actually DOING ANYTHING - just existing. Nobody *exists* sexually"
i think those type of ppl cannot differentiate the difference between simply complimenting someone's beauty/body and sexualizing them to an uncomfortable and creepy extent. yes, there are tons of photos and posts in social media where the user is wearing a more revealing outfit and their intention is to get complimented, but I'm pretty sure the user would not appreciate overly sexual comments. and i hate it so much when ppl use the argument "if women don't want to be treated as sexual objects, why are they acting like so?" to women. that's basically the point though, women want their body to be seen as normal when they walk with a crop top/shorts and not get judgy comments about how they look 'scandalous'
@@unknowndestructivegamer3796 i don't get what you mean. wdym by "if there's nothing wrong with it?" what exactly is 'it' that you're referring to? when hv i ever said that it was ok for an 11 y/o girl to be wearing a g string without a top???
@@garukong. I didn’t say you were ok with that, I’m just worried with these people’s mindset that could lead to something harmful to children. Ever since cuties came out, I’ve been very concerned with how people try to s~~ualiz kids. I assume you agree with the video that there’s nothing s-ual about the human body, I don’t want this normalization of scandalous clothing and/or nudity to be applied to children. It’s one thing to say women should wear whatever they want, but it’s another thing when people say there’s nothing s-ual about the human body. That could lead to a slippery slope, which is why I asked, if it’s okay to wear revealing clothing then does that apply to children too? I’m just really worried, especially the current state the world is in, with all these grooming stories.
while clothing isnt inherently sexual and women should be able to wear whatever they want, its important to analyze WHY these more revealing clothes are marketed towards women, ESPECIALLY young girls, rather than men and young boys. i, like many other girls, had and still have major issues with hypersexualization, and the expected fashions for girls had a large impact. young girls are expected to hypersexualize themselves and clothes are a part of that. a lot of your points are correct but really wish you wouldve addressed this ..
This is definitely what's missing from this video. No these things SHOULDNT be sexual, but when our society treats them as such you have to look into the implications of that. It's like saying "there are no duties in a marriage that are inherently for males or females". This is true, but people ascribe household chores to women, and you can't deconstruct sexism if you don't address why. Yes it's two different subjects but they are highly related (in my example, gender roles v sexism; in the video, ascribing meaning to clothing and nakedness v hypersexualization of young girls). It's hard to address one with out the other.
The issue isn't sexualization itself, bodies _are_ inherently sexual, if they weren't then sexual attraction wouldn't exist, and humans as a species wouldn't have an instinctual motivation to reproduce. The issue is the _one sidedness_ of how it's applied in society, the bodies of men and women are both equally attractive to those who are attracted to them, but it's only women who get burdened with making themselves look good and accentuating every possible thing about their bodies. In an ideal world, men and women would be equally free to sexualize themselves as much as they prefer without any social pressure or stigma stacked on top of it, that's one of the core benefits of the LGBT movement that gets overlooked, how it encourages people of all orientations to express themselves through their bodies without any guilt.
I feel like a lot of the attacking of teenage girls for wearing "sexual" clothing that is being done by grown women is just glorified slut shaming and/or internalized misogyny as well
There’s that but then there’s the legions upon legions of men who hate on even grown women for showing any skin. I think it all just stems from misogyny and then, for women, the desire to be accepted by men. You should see Rachel Oates comments any time she has any cleavage on display
@@thegillmachine I've also seen a lot of men saying they don't want "their women" to be showing any skin. That their cleavage and thighs for example should only be seen by them.
well most of these women were targeted by harassment by older men when they used to dress the way i did and they worry that the same will happen to me. most of the women in my life have told me it just comes from a place of concern. though we progress into a newer age and more and more women are comfortable with wearing clothes that used to be/or still shunned, so hopefully things'll change.
@@caffeineaddict. yeah but I've also heard grown ass women accuse younger girls of being "fast" or basically sluts because they don't understand how inappropriate calling a child that is. There are abusive women out there that subscribe to the idea that once you grow tits you're basically an adult sexually speaking and thus are her "competition". Usually women who have themselves been abused like that but being a victim doesn't justify being an abuser.
when i was younger, my friend had a younger sister who would hang around with us a lot. they had a pool in their backyard, so we'd go swimming a lot during the summer. she'd wear bikinis most of the time, since she thought they looked really nice and loved looking the way she did. her brother and i had _no_ problem with it. her parents, however, were *suuuuuuper* weird about it, saying she shouldn't dress so "provocatively". she was _eight_ .
Wow that's shocking, saying that about an 8 year old! It makes me feel a sick. Kids are so confused when adults say stuff like that because they don't have the capacity to understand at that age. When I was that age I had a lot of friends who were boys and none of us thought about each other in that way. We were too busy having adventures and climbing trees.
nah causes there’s cultures where people walk around butt naked, and nobody gets aroused by each other unless they’re literally having sex. so perhaps it’s that sexualizing a human body’s existence is rather a learned behavior. end of story.
Exactly, breasts aren’t inherently sexual in those cultures and the people don’t give a fuck because literally everyone has their tits out constantly. It’s absolutely a cultural thing.
I was looking through traditional dances for random cultures as a part of a world history project, and came across various African dances where the women would be completely shirtless. Even as a person who is primarily attracted to women, I personally didn't find it sexual. Why? Because it was in a setting that was 1.) an essential part of their culture and 2.) it was not in a sexual setting.
harnesses just look cool!! I was actually completely oblivious to the fact that they were used as fetish gear lol a lot of the time with this type of stuff I'm completely unaware that it's fetish gear unless someone tells me
A few minutes into this video, and you’ve given me a lot to think about! I’m a Christian currently deconstructing a lot of my religious trauma and core beliefs, and your channel has given me a lot to consider. Thanks for all you do! Edit: Did not expect that my comment would become a battleground for religious discussion. Please be kind in how you address one another, and remember that different views are okay as long as they don’t hurt people 💖
One thing that I’ve found is that lot of bigoted “Christian” values aren’t actually found anywhere in the bible. All of the sexist, racist, and homophobic things I’ve seen Christians claim to be rooted in the bible were actually made up by religious authorities who wanted to take advantage of their power to push their own agenda. So Christianity in and of itself isn’t bigoted. A select few people who hide behind it are.
@@BigGayIncorporated yes, there are. However, I would argue that christians should regard Jesus’s words above all else in the bible and he said to treat everyone with kindness and love. That’s just my personal interpretation of it though. I’m mainly talking about the things that ARENT in the bible. Not the things that are because those are entirely different cans of worms in my opinion.
I agree- 🧍♀️like I was going to wear my skirt yesterday and when my dad saw it he was like yea no you are not wearing that, it's short and your shoulders are showing so I understand what everybody is going through TwT
This kinda reminds me of why I stopped wearing cat ears a long time ago. For context I wore them in like middle school cause I thought it was fun. I ultimately stopped doing it cause I would keep getting weird questions from some people at the school. I'm kinda sad about that cause it was something that genuinely made me happy
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 that's so cool!! i hope people don't harass you or treat you weirdly because of it (but you said you're the "weird kid", so i guess they do...). finding the confidence to wear whatever you want is impressive, i really admire that :D
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 I also wore lolita inspired skirts that I've sewn myself to school, and our principle HATED me for it. I would smile and greet him everytime I saw him and he would just look at me with disgust. He also did some unfair things to me but it is too long of a story lol
@@denizkaragullu6239 funny thing is at my school if they want to punish me for Lolita they'll have to punish another group of kids no matter what they code me for.
I've definitely been indoctrinated by my mom especially growing up as a black girl with my body developing a lot faster than my peers and all the shame that comes with it. It's really fucked up and I'm trying my best to unlearn this stuff.
I totally get it. I'll never forget that time when I went swimming In a white shirt with no bra (simply because I didn't like wearing them), but because I developed faster than most even tho I was around 10 or 11 my parents still made me go home and my mom lectured me ://
i remember not being able to wear FUCKING OVER-THE-KNEE SOCKS because they were “too grown-up”. since i had longer skirts, the skirts + high socks would make DIY tights because those were fucking expensive. can we please stop sexualizing SOCKS. LITERAL SOCKS.
@@amandarama3314 That's just how the human brain works, if something is covered or highlighted, it automatically draws the attention of your eyes, this applies to anything, not just the body. But, since the sexually dimorphic legs of women are already something a human brain attracted to women is wired to look for, the effect is multiplied.
This is the same energy when schools like, refuse to let girls wear tank tops or shorts even :/ Like Same exact thing Ay school systems, why do you think *shoulders* are “too revealing” to you or even a small showing of stomach 🧐 It’s honestly so annoying tbh (like I understand I’m in a Catholic school but. Most schools that aren’t Catholic also have this rule which again. IS DUMB-) Anyway keep it up! You have opened my eyes up to much more stuff and now I can help my brain learn better
At my daughter's school (which isn't affiliated with a religion) the girls aren't allowed to wear slim fitting t-shirts for P.E. They have to be loose fitting. It's ridiculous, as if the shape of a girl's body is shameful and needs hiding.
I go to a British school with a uniform and they still find ways to shame Feminine people for their clothes, too small skirts, colourful bras, and some non 'sexual' things like Coloured hair, hair length, piercings, shirts being tucked in and other very small nit picky rules, its about control and pressing a narrative. But it's even worse when Masculine people don't get punished for nearly as much or as harshly, Masculine people may be tild to take something out or fix it in a few days but Feminine people at my scholl get taken out of lesson, sent to isolation, given detention, sent home and expulsion for a period of time.
@@callmeaspen3868 Exactly! It’s so hypocritical! My old elementary school (where it was uniforms 100% of the time) my teachers wouid send the girls to the office or ask them to “pull down your skirt so it’s the “”appropriate”” height” Like and even then o thought this was stupid And like Ugh It’s stupid. I’m glad I don’t have to wear uniforms as often anymore (we still do on mass days, when guests come or otherwise) but it still bugs me because the schools expect us to silent,y be like “Oh okay I’ll bend to your every whim because need an education and if I disobey I’ll have to miss a day of MY own education :]” Again it’s just..like ??
This is so true! Reminds me of another school nearby me where they had an assembly telling girls to stop wearing leggings for pe because it was "distracting the male teachers" LIKE BRO YOU NEED TO FIRE THOSE TEACHERS
That's disgusting! Leggings cover the whole bottom half of your body. Like you said, if some male teachers can't handle looking at the shape of a girl's body then they are definitely in the wrong job.
Because it’s true?? Lmao if our bodies weren’t sexual then we wouldn’t be able to reproduce? Bro I don’t even like wearing revealing clothing or people that do it but I can tell you that for a fact
@@cantyouseethatyourelost Did you even read his comment? He's saying that if our bodies weren't sexual, then we would never want to have sex, but we do.
Honestly this is a point I'm always making to my parents, but they're so stuck in their ways that they refuse to see that bodies aren't inherently sexual, I'm asexual so I've personally never seen bodies sexually, but i do understand that most people do, yet I'm still baffled that people are victim blaming, hell, I've been on the Recieving end of it, i remember how upsetting it was when my mum told me i looked like a hooker(not Shaming sex work it's real work but u understand my point) when i was fucking THIRTEEN! I wanted to look nice for an outing with my friends, and then my mum was shaming me for what her preconceived notions of sexual clothing was
@@coloringbunnies1273 no fr ur fucking weird for looking at ur child/family member in that way in thr first place whats wrong w people i cant take it anymore
I sort of had something opposite happen to me. I'm also asexual and overall don't really like people viewing me in a sexual way and have a lil bit of dysphoria, so i wear more loose clothes, which are far more comfortable for me. My mom on the other hand insists that because i'm a girl i should wear tight clothing, r e v a l m y l e g s, wear makeup, wait for it, literally, *for boys to like me*. I literally can't and it's just so weird hearing how you can be so, so wrong on both sides of that - i mean - seeing certain clothes as inherently sexual, and on one hand not letting your child wear them, and on the other sort of forcing that.
I had something similar happen, I wanted to wear long acrylic nails but my mom said no because she, and I quote, didn't want me to look like a 12 year old hooker. It's been years since then but her mindset still remains the same.
My mom legit does not let me wear skirts or shorts whenever I go out to hang out with my friends if at least one of those friends are a guy- My knees are usually scraped or bruised because I do skateboarding, so I find it really uncomfortable to wear pants because they hurt my knees, but still! Like if any of my guy friends find my kneecaps and ankles sexual, that is on them
Bikinis are similar to wearing just a bra and underwear but due to social ideas the bra and underwear can be considered more sexual. However, people where bikinis and are still sexualized so I feel like that proves the clothing isn’t the issue. It’s what the person perceiving the clothing and the body are making of it.
It's funny that bikinis are often made from less material than bras but are seen as more acceptable to wear in public. In the summer I saw many women wearing triangle bikini tops in the park but if I exposed my big white bra that covers everything, I'd have gotten some strange looks. As a society we've assigned meaning to different items and often it doesn't make much sense.
I love how you always seem to talk about the things that everyone tries to ignore because even when people do try to confront issues like this, it seems that it’s not always in the most logical way. As someone who went to a Catholic school with a strict dress-code, this is just so refreshing to hear. Tbh though, now the main reason why I don’t wear skirts or shorts like I used to when I was 13-14 and didn’t really think much of them is merely just out of fear of attracting predators still, especially when living in an awfully crowded city with all kinds of people.
the thing is, im an indigenous person. our view of sexuality and bodies is radically different than that of so many others and its almost a culture shock for me. i am in feminist coalition and many of these girls are anti-sex work and i even saw one of them (a syrian girl) repost something about how "the perverted western media makes you kinky" and she's spoken a lot in these meetings about how "the west is sexual and praises sexuality" and as an indigenous person thats just so. to me, being an indigenous person and living under today's america, americans are PRUDES. americans use sex as a violent tool to oppress women and to sell shit but when sex is overtly spoken about and put in a positive light, its almost like the world is coming to an end.
haven’t watched the video yet but the other day I saw on youtube a video of a guy at online class saying that beyoncé is not a good role model bc she “sexualizes herself” and I was like ????? first of all it is YOU who at the sight of a body sexualizes it, and second having a body and not hiding it is not necessarily for sexual… anything.
Compared to some others singers who are overtly sexual in their songs and performances, I've always thought Beyonce comes across as classy and strong. She seems like a good role model.
@@TheLadyDelirium Exactly! There’s some artists that actually want to give sexual and sex, bc that’s their intention and it’s obvious. But Beyoncé puts on a bikini, gives a sexy performance, and then she’s sexualising herself, like what? There’s a difference and I think people fail to identify it, which is what Nick talks about. Also yes, Beyoncé is a great role model, she has done so many great things, I love her.
@@piaaisdora '' gives a sexy performance'' but ''isn't sexualizing herself'' in the same sentence makes me confused. Can you like, elaborate or rephrase that?
I’m not allowed to wear any vibrant makeup (especially red lipstick), crop tops, or even LEGGINGS with a short shirt. Half the time, my own mother is the one making me uncomfortable in my own body to the point where I just wear baggy jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometimes, the people sexualizing you most are your own family. Kids just want to express themselves without having to be stared at by creepy old men, or victim blamed by our own parents. My heart goes out to anyone who has a story like mine and/or is a victim to this system (he/they please)
Fr I’m so sick of people telling me, a minor that what I’m wearing is inappropriate, like it’s my damn problem in the first place. I’m wearing clothes. I look epic in my tights and skirt. Leave me be. I’m not drawing in men, or anyone for that matter. Let me wear clothes, please, and thank you.
I'm on the opposite end, I do not mind "modest" clothing and by modest I mean pink and frills and big poofy skirts and sleeves. But nope pink and bows are apparently not meant for teenagers
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 I'm a guy who likes to wear long skirts/dresses and frilly cardigans and long socks, and as such I can't wear what I like to wear without constantly being asked if it's like a fetish thing or something, or told that my clothing is inappropriate to wear outside my home or around children. And those are on "good days". I h8 it here 🙄
I'm an azn and I go to a private school where our skirts are plaid.. Even the boys in our school secksualize our uniforms like crazy bcos of prawn and fetishes and stuff. It's so gross to have adult men make comments about us when we were just trying to exist. It really sucks cos I love my school and I'm proud to go there but I can't deny that not having to wear the uniform bcos of online school has been such a relief.
You're so right! When I was 13/14 my step mum uses to shame me all the time for wearing skinny jeans, short skirts ext., and she wouldn't even let me where crop tops. She made out like I was trying to attrack boys and made me feel bad. No, I just wanted to wear the same sort of clothes my friends were wearing and skirts with pretty patterns. I did not think of my body sexually at all at that point so why where you?
I'm a Mum to a 15 year old and she wears what she wants. It's not nice that your Mum shamed you like that, instead of supporting you expressing yourself. I hope you can choose your own style now and feel more comfortable in your choices.
@@TheLadyDelirium sounds like a great mum! I don't talk to my step mum anymore and wear plenty of clothes that I put on and sometimes think to myself 'she would hate this lol.'
From someone who has been harassed over their heavily female presenting body, I love the message in this video, but I wish we could live in a world where it was… relevant? Because nothing exists in a vacuum, and given centuries of culture, items and words develop connotations, which can overpower a technical definition or use of something. I, personally can think that fishnets aren’t sexual, but that doesn’t stop the status quo from being swaths of people who WILL sexualize them. Obviously I know that children wearing them aren’t trying to be sexual and shouldn’t be sexualized, but given my experiences as a woman, I know that it is in the hands of other, often disgusting, people to sexualize them. Y’know? Like I wish I could’ve walked around in fishnets every day as a 14 year old but the truth was I got harassed and needlessly traumatized more when I did. I can deal with it fine now because I KNOW that I can wear whatever I want and not be sexual. As long as they’re with people they trust, kids should be able to wear whatever tf they want, but it’s so much more different if we are discussing clothes they wear commuting to school, out in public, whatever… when they are exposed to people nobody really has control over. Idk, this video may have twiggewd me a wittle because I got harassed on the street a lot for wearing short shirts and thigh highs, etc, as a minor… and even tho I know it’s not my fault, I also know I have no control of how others see me. And I think that’s what’s the scariest, knowing it can sometimes lead to assault and murder. I would love to let kids wear shit crazier than what I did but I feel like that is opening them up to so much potential trauma and body issues. I’d never police how a child of mine dressed, but I know I’d be worrying about them more the more and more “adult” they were dressed. Feels like we should all adopt the thinking in the video, but only once our society has had a serious reckoning with how it over sexualizes minors. And until then, it just feels vaguely dangerous. I think that letting children express themselves and protecting them can coexist somehow. I think I should stop writing because I definitely am disassociating and I keep finding myself wanting to continuously clarify and keep writing, I know the creator will never read this, and I justthink I feel like I need to say something because of the perceived authority you have because of your audience. Video just struck a very anxious chord in me I guess,?
I agree and also, I think if a child wants to wear something mature first thing I'd do is understand if it was the child's idea and it's simple self expression or if there's someone else pressuring the child to wear certain kinds of clothing( especially if it's out of the blue)Like if there is some groomer around them , or the child is being peer pressured to dress and act a certain way and doesn't really want that but just does it to fit in. In a society where being precocious is rewarded because there is a bunch of creeps who are actively preying on a child' s inexperience , I think it's best to have conversations about why the child wants to wear something. Not because bodies are inherently sexual or an invitation to violence, but to assure that it's merely a fashion choice and not some form of manipulation
You make a lot of amazing points in this video, but one thing I'd like to add is how this rhetoric ties pretty heavily into fatphobia. A lot of the people who make the "x article of clothing is inherently sexual" argument will have a fit when they see a fat person wearing "sexy clothes" because they often think that fat people are inherently gross and unsexual. Ultimately the message turns from "that outfit is too sexual" into "you shouldn't be wearing that because nobody wants to see your body." It's just an alternate route to fat-shaming.
I think it’s more the idea of other people thinking they don’t look good in more revealing clothes. And maybe it isn’t appealing to look at. But either way, people are allowed to wear whatever they want to wear, so just stop looking
I agree that nakedness and clothing aren't inherently sexual. How these are viewed depend on the culture they're being observed in. In some countries bare breasts are the norm whereas in other countries you'd be arrested for bearing them. I think the problem is that even if we individually think that no clothes should be viewed as sexual, society has labelled certain things such wearing a corset and thigh high boots as having sexual connotations. So, most people wouldn't be disturbed by seeing a naked kid but they would if they saw them wearing such an outfit. I think it would be very difficult to destroy the sexual association with certain items due to how ingrained they are within Western society. As for showing bellies and wearing bikinis etc people should be free to wear what they want, when they want. However, I think an awareness of how others can view certain clothing can be taken into account when accessing personal safety. P.S. First time I've watched this channel. It was an interesting to think about.
I think you touched on some important issues that weren't covered in the video, especially cultural context. Certain things ARE seen as sexual and it results in victim blaming.
@@alexshemwell8320It would have been good if he explored the subject from different angles. I'd love it if everyone could wear what they want without the worry of people sexualising them, but unfortunately that's not the world we live in at the moment. Progress and change takes time but looking at history, freedom to wear what we want is continually improving.
As an artist, I've never thought of bodies as sexual. When I do a body study it's not the equivalent of drawing porn, the human figure is beautiful in a way completely removed from sexuality.
I am so glad you are talking about this cause I am sick of people who have this puritan mindset like even people who aren't religious still have many abrahamic religious fiews ingrained in their minds
hey dude nothing big but as a jew it kinda irks me to be scooped in with puritans? “abrahamic religions” is not a great line, just say christian if you mean christian
@@kato3247 Absolutely this. There is just something so "special" about White Christianity to the point where most presentations of it are deadly levels of dogmatic, unparalleled in their bigotry, and build shame in their followers to the point that being a member of these religious sects is enough to put many young people and children on the track toward developing serious trauma and makes many adults turn into monsters. The world they live in is demonic and evil and terrifying but the things they label as such are so mundane that you question their ties to reality. And its all for trying to please a benevolent gd who they describe as anything but that. Meanwhile, those behavior patterns are something you only see in the most radical sects of Judaism and Islam, who are usually groups that aren't popular with the laid-back sects. Unlike in Christianity, where sects either hate everyone else or try and pose in a sort of pan-Christian comradery that doesn't actually exist. The only kind Christians are the ones who take the scripture and make something out of it for themselves, and there are several sects of American Black Christianity that make the white sects look like monsters. There are some people who show that Christianity has room for joy and hope and love among all peoples in their eyes, but most of it is just there to threaten minorities and keep its followers in line with self-destructive values. I'm a Jew by birth but not by faith (you can thank coerced conversion to Catholicism 5 generations back for that!), I've never had the opportunity to authentically connect to my culture or the religion tied to it in the ways I would like to, but what I know is that its beautiful. I have a Jewish friend who lives in Minneapolis, and ze's a nonbinary lesbian who plans on going on testosterone and getting bottom surgery. Not once has ze ever felt unwelcome, invalidated, or ashamed of hir sexuality or gender by any religious leaders or community members. Whenever the conversation does come up, ze's celebrated for being authentic to hirself. Many of the older members are confused, but they're rarely malicious or outright bigoted. That's something that ze can't even get in many queer spaces, but these Jews that ze's grown up with hir whole life, they're nothing but loving and accepting. I also haven't had much contact with Islam since I've lived in areas dominated by Christian cults like Mormonism and Jehovahs Witnesses that push those people away, but as someone who is openly and visibly queer and disabled, I have never felt unwelcomed or unloved or attacked or shamed when interacting with someone who is talking about their love for their life as a Muslim. I've seen so much online about disabled and queer Muslims showing the unique type of beauty and celebration that their intersecting identities receive from their communities. Genderfluid Muslims who wear hijabs and have invented masculine styles of wearing them, gay men having Muslim weddings, trans women being excited beyond belief to wear hijabs for the first time and celebrate their Islamic womanhood, trans men being celebrated for embracing Islamic manhood, and so much more is so much quicker to be accepted by Muslims than I've ever seen with Christians. At least with my experiences I've talked about here, I think its the comradery in minority status that's created such a peaceful and positive relationship between queer and disabled non-religious communities and Judaism and Islam. That along with the fact that there's been no cultural push for Jewish or Muslim sects to branch off and become radically oppressive, at least not in the US.
@@amiaswolfgang literally yeah (also congrats to your friend!! i wish zem all the best). i'm the opposite of you, jewish by faith and not heritage (although i do have jewish cousins), and while as an ex-xtian i understand the lack of information on the topic it's infuriating all the same.
@@amiaswolfgang There are some denominations of Christianity that are pretty laid back/compassionate, Quakers, some sects of Lutherans, the UCC, Episcopalians, but yes, Catholics and evangelical Protestants (the majority of Christian Americans) tend to be pretty harmfully conservative maybe not always as individuals but as institutions and by extent a lot of their followers are. I would say that political leanings tends to vary more than just fringe conservatives and progressives in the other religious communities mentioned, based on what I’ve heard from other people I know that were raised according to other religions, but I would agree that they have more successfully carved out a distinctly progressive version of their faith likely because of shared oppression.
Thank you! As a Finnish person it's absolutely depressing to watch how English speaking puritanism is seeping into our culture through social media. This oversexualisation of everything is fucking up my brain as well and it's so hard to fight the influence T-T
That's sad to hear. I always saw the Nordic countries (and northern Europe in general) as being places where nudity is less stigmatized and sexualized than America.
I hope that people in your country don't get influenced by this! Ironically, puritanism requires a person to see bodies in an inherently sexual way which prompts an avoidant reaction to showing off skin.
My mother told me recently that she didn't let me shop at Justice s a young child because she "didn't want to be a young grandmother" and people who shop there "want to be hoes". MOTHER, I WAS E I G H T .
As a woman whose had big tits since she was 10, I've been dealing with this shit a lonngg time. I stopped wearing bras at 17 because of a skin condition and I've been getting a rash (haha) and a crap from my mother and grandmother ever since. At 19, my grandmother once saw I had a little bit of side boob and her response to finding out I was going out was, "You CANNOT go out like that, you'll get yourself raped. Go put on a bra." I've been told my whole life that my actions/my body will cause me to be sexually assaulted. I always had to change my clothes or put on a bra when my grandfather was home because it "made him uncomfortable." In my own house, I couldn't exist.
I love this whole video and the message Its so annoying, almost every day in summer I have to think about things like this (I'm a teenage girl) I WANT to wear: a t-shirt, just a tshirt, no bra or stuff I "should" wear: a tshirt with no decoltè and a bra I end up wearing because I'm afraid of creeps: a hoodie This is so frustrating, and its even more frustrating that I cant change anything... like, I want to make those creeps shut up by wearing what i want to, but I just cant, because I'm afraid of what might happen... ughh
Reminds me too, I love Lolita fashion but I'm a teen so I shouldn't be dressing up in frilly clothes and bows because those are for "little girls" I also want to wear Hanfu but guess who lives in a white ass area where any clothing deemed "aisan" is automatically japanese!
For reference I am American, so I can’t speak with any certainty on other cultures. However I recently watched an animated French movie called fantastic planet with my dad, really good you should check it out. All of the female characters have they boobers out and it’s not presented in a exual way, they’re just there. Theres also a few willies. This film is also ostensibly family friendly in every other way. (although it’s not necessarily for children it’s a bit too abstract for most kids to keep up with) If this movie was released in America everyone would lose their minds.
France is less freaked out by bare breast yep. I mean we had topless women in pretty much every yogurt commercials when I was a kid xD but sadly we're starting to pick up on that naked breast = bah thing and I think it's really sad
Oh yeah-it’s been a while since I’ve seen that movie, but the impression I remember having was that the nudity was more about dehumanization than sexualization (I also remember some parts being kinda disturbing and gory so idk if I’d consider it family friendly but maybe I should give it another watch)
Lowkey reminds me of a bible verse in Matthew where Jesus says “If your eyes cause you to lust, pluck it out” What I’m saying is that Jesus would agree that sexualizing another person is always your own fault than the fault of another person for existing
ALSO ABOUT THE CORSET PART corsets were support garments (literally part of underwear as well) so like it makes no sense as to why they are seen as sexual. unless you’re talking about corsets that are used in fetish work, because those are indeed sexual, but these specific type of corset is different than historical support garments
I 100% agree that clothing is not inherently sexual. The problem arises with the way others will view it. If a teenager was to walk around in a crop top, short shorts, and fishnets, it is very likely that there are going to be creepy guys ogling her. This is not to say that she shouldn't wear those clothes, by all means she can, but that it's important to understand the kind of attention she may receive for dressing that way. If she still wants to wear those clothes aware of how she might be viewed, then she can dress however the hell she wants. Nobody should be telling a kid not to wear something because it's "too sexual," but perhaps should have a conversation with them to make sure that their decision to dress that way is an informed one.
I would say that that makes sense, but I also think that while it would be more likely for her to be harassed (although absolutely not her fault, something to be aware of) I think that people are going to sexualize you no matter what if they’ve been socialized to think that that’s ok. I’ve heard people who just happen to feel more comfortable in clothes with more coverage have people tell them stuff like “I’d like to see what’s underneath” entirely unprompted.
@@fionatastic0.070 exactly, I’d get harassed no matter what I wear. Sweats, loose fitting tshirts, boyfriend jeans, being female, male, non-binary ect. All I could say it is bad timing and a creep would just happened to be near by, that has the AUDACITY to come near you.
Even then you are instilling the idea that the way you dress determines the respect you get. Did you not watch the video or chose to ignore every minute of it??? Besides you just contradicted yourself in the first two sentences of your comment. Putting on clothes is not akin to having an abortion btw🙄
@@agstinacueva1673 The point of the video is that clothing is not inherently sexual, which I never argued against and actually opened by agreeing with. Another point in the video is that we shouldn’t tell kids not to wear something because it’s “too sexual,” another point I explicitly agreed with. Warning someone of the sexuality others will apply to that clothing to ensure they are making an informed decision, while also making clear that is neither their nor the clothing’s fault, in no way goes against the points made in this video. Minors are welcome to wear whatever they want, and I fully encourage them to explore and discover their sense of style. That does not change the fact that there are creeps that treat certain items of clothing as sexual. Making sure they are aware of this sad truth is not the same as telling them they’re too young to be wearing something.
Videos like these really help me out tbh. Whenever I was SA as a kid my parents always told me that it was somehow my fault, and that I was s&%ualizing myself somehow. When I was like 8. I'm now kinda terrified of interacting with people in anyway because I might be "asking for it". I'm slowly trying to crawl out of that mindset though and I feel like this helped-
Say someone gets jumped. The *victim* then receives the blame for “letting themselves” be beaten black & blue! It’s a complete 180 on accountability. No one ASKS to be beaten within an inch of their life!
came back to this after seeing a tiktoker say that floral underwear at brandy melville gave off "minor girl vibes" (so basically, childlike) and felt "creepy".
Yes, thank you! As someone who despite being in an incredibly safe environment has been afraid of going out in really short shorts/crop tops/etc. since I was 11 because what if something DOES happen? It's so refreshing to see someone reaffirming my beliefs and it makes me feel incredibly seen
I once got into an argument about whether or not someone could wear a bralette, and they were saying something like “no you can’t wear undergarments as outer garments”. And then I was like “ok, so if I wear to wear a bra under something that had the same coverage as a bralette, how about now?” And they were fine with that. What the heck! The difference is how the garment is designed! Its a piece of fabric that covers the exact same amount of flesh! It’s like saying I can’t tie a jacket around my waist because it was made to be a jacket! That’s dumb!
the only clothes that might not be suitable for children other than fetish wear are high heels higher than 1 inch (WHICH ARENT SEXUAL) they’re running around and you don’t want them to break their ankles
Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of yourselfs💜💜🤗🤗
This over sexualisation of clothing has gone to cultural wear too. Take a look at the native hawi’ian wear (Ive forgotten the actual name, I sincerely apologise). Its too “revealing” for young girls, when its simply cultural clothing. EDIT: Ive discovered what i believe is the correct term, I was referring to the traditional outfits worn when doing hula/‘ori tahiti.
everyone is just so affected by this issue to a level it’s hard for me to understand sometimes, like i’d never questioned my mom not letting me wear bikinis when i was little bc i was so used to stuff like that but now i realize that’s ridiculous. thanks for making this video and just all of ur channel bc i’m rly glad i’m learning about this stuff at a young age (and in general) so that i’m not uneducated and part of the problem
As a kid, my mom only let me do classical dance (ballet, Irish dance, ECT.) because she said all other types of dance were sexual. Never understood it because all the girls at my Catholic did hip hop and other dances. It's so strange.
ikr i thought i was the only one who thought that was weird and creepy... i remember i was chilling in middle school and my friends were talking about stuff and one of them brought up smth "relatable" about "checking people out". i was like, "what does checking people out mean?" and they were just casually like "oh like when you're looking at someone cute/attractive." and i was like "uhhhhh.... what???" and anyway they just ignored me and kept talking about it or whatever. and i kept thinking and complaining in my head that the only reason you should be looking at someone is if you're talking to them or they're talking to you or if you accidentally zone out while your eyes are in their direction, or smth like that. but not for ogling at them because you think they're "attractive." and it's like, bruh you're literally children. you're 12-14. are you kidding me? and that really fueled my fear of growing up tbh, because i just thought i wasn't mature enough to understand, and i thought i would become a total creep like everyone else when i grew up. and i thought i was the only one 13 year old kid in the world who still thought of themselves as a child. so yeah, i still don't know how to feel about all that.
I think this goes beyond way back in the past when colonialism was a thing. Many natives/indigenous people don't wear clothes the way European/white Americans did because of what they've internalized about clothing. They projected their ideals (and took advantage of that), especially against native women, and shamed them into wearing clothes.
Thank you for this video, cause twice this week I had my parents complaining about my clothes. First my father was bothered I was wearing a dress that showed off my shoulders, and then when I wanted to wear a short to go to the therapist (cause I live in a very hot city), my mom said it was too short and she wouldn't walk around with me dressed like that cause I could be harassed
I grew up in Scotland but I was born in Germany and I go back every summer. Until about the age 7 or 8 when going to the beach and swimming/playing in the water I went completely naked and after that I usually only wore the bottom half of the bikini ( now that I'm older, I wear a full swimsuit unless I am in Germany were if I am comfortable enough I only have the bottoms one). When I told my British friends this they completely freaked out, saying that disgusting and what about pedophilies, and until then that had never occurred to me.
I agree with the following message that you said: "The clothes are not inherently sexual." I also agree with: You need to be aware of the context to avoid victim blaming However, while you and I may be able to see that fishnets aren't sexual, a gross man may see that and think "Oh, they are wearing that because they WANT MY attention." Which is just the way is. Im not blaming anyone except those predators. Men, even women can be predators. The frustrating thing is when you ask "Why are stocking sexy?" and they say "They just are." I don't think it is ignorance here that prevents someone from hearing that its just cloth. I think its the awareness that there are creeps out there who will see it sexually that makes them say "they just are." especially in the USA where a predator lives just down the street in most neighborhoods. The discussion of course should change the narrative to protecting children and opening up the discussion to what is consent and what is boundaries, but again the issue will never be oh shes too young to wear that, it will always be, you shouldnt wear that because its unsafe. Which is even worse because why do clothes have to be unsafe, because of predators. And thats the sad thing about clothes, is they are just cloth, they have no meaning, but to a weird evil person, they are invitations, and they will impose those views on us, and others wether we like it or not. The real question is, if teaching the next few generations to not sexualize clothing, how do we ensure they can still have boundaries that wont be pressed by adults who know how to take advantage of that.
I get what you're saying, and yeah it's absolutely valid to want to protect children. But of course it should be framed and said different, not you shouldn't wear that because you're too young, but 'hey maybe you shouldn't wear that because other people could perceive you this way and take advantage of you' (I think you already said that). However I don't really get the last part of what you're saying? Teaching people they can wear whatever they want without attaching meaning to it doesnt really necessarily have to do with being able to set boundaries in my opinion... You can learn to set boundaries no matter what kind of clothing you wear. Teaching about consent is gonna do more than teaching to dress modestly since people including children get sexually harassed no matter what they wear. Actually I think it'll make the situation better since it makes survivors less likely to feel shame and responsibility for being harassed. Maybe I misunderstood what you were trying to say though, in which case it'd be great if you could elaborate!
@@justme-qd6qb Hey thanks I can elaborate! I think I phrased it wrong at the end I think we should teach the next generations that clothes are not inherently sexual and on top of that not correlated at all also teach them how to set boundaries, because there will be people who will try to push said boundaries depending on what you wear. I don't believe that teaching to dress modestly is beneficial long term, as all it does is perpetuate the idea that if you arent modestly dressed youre at fault. i think all "modest dressing" does is put blame on victims if something happens to them, like oh you didn't dress modestly enough so youre wrong. if that makes sense. I agree with everything you said! I just am afraid that even if we can pass down the idea that clothing has no inherent sexual meaning, there will still be creeps who benefit from it.
This!!! I had difficulty articulating my thoughts about it but this is 100% it. There are certain clothes that have almost… attached meanings?? If that makes sense?? Like the clothes are highly associated with certain situations. Not necessarily like fetish gear, since sex isn’t really the purpose, but the situations the clothes appear in are almost always sexual. Like it depends on what the clothes draw attention to? What was the intention of the clothes? Were the clothes themselves made to appear sexual? Most of my issue with children wearing certain clothes is whether or not the clothes were made to be perceived as sexual. Kinda like undies vs lingerie
@@youraveragetoxicwaste4781 i didnt even know lingerie was percieved as sexual for the longest time, i genuinely just thought it was aesthetically pleasing and looked comfortable
@@saa-wnbaw I mean a certain type of lingerie! There are some which are just cute but there are others which are extremely sexual/intended to sexualise their wearer
As an ace who wears short shorts, crop tops and cleavage because it feels more comfortable to me, thank you. Being dressed a certain way is not sexual and I'm sick of people thinking short clothes = sexualisation.
I always love your videos because tiktok "leftist"/liberal politics always contradict their own point on literally everything to the point that it is fucking confusing.
I might have n explanation for why fishnets are seen as inherently sexual. It's not the best one but it's the best explanation that I could reasonably come up with. Media has a large effect on how we view the world and live our lives, and in media fishnets typically are portrayed in a sexual light, so repeating that over and over again has caused fishnets to have a sexual connotation.
This just made me think of school dress codes. Honestly my high school is relatively cool, cause even pre quarantine the dress code was very lenient, but after we got out of remote schooling, there’s practically no dress code at all. People wear hats, short shorts, shirts with straps or no straps, crop tops as short as bras, it’s amazing to see.
Thank you, I'm a teen and when I was a child I was told from a very young age that I couldn't wear the shorts, skirts and shirts I wanted to because I was too young. Now that I'm a teen I've started wearing those things; I became a lot more confident in my self. My mentality has become a lot better and it's because of adults like you that that has happened. Once again, thank you.
Ayyy thank you for making this! This is something I always get frustrated about, I hate how I see posts that have (usually) women in them doing absolutely *nothing* sexual just, existing, and comments sexualize the shit out them. Even worse when its minors. Sometimes I can't get any traction in arguments like this, because if the person I'm arguing with knows that I'm asexual, I'll get a "you wouldn't understand". Like ??? 👁👄👁 Anyway, the vibes are immaculate 👌
I've literally had ppl try to tell me I'm "actually asexual and just don't know it yet/lying abt being allo"" when i try to ask them why they sexualize things
In Eastern Europe it's common to see toddlers or little kids without bikinis at the beach because everybody knows how a body looks like. Americans are extremely prudish for no reason (I think my other comment was deleted)
Ya know, I never really experienced the massive amount of sexualization growing up because I grew up in a house of just girls, never had a father or weird uncles to worry about, just girls. So, when I was younger learning about those things I was like “there’s no way it’s all that bad, like my mommy and sisters dress however, and I do too and we’ve never had it happen to us I don’t think.” And then 3rd year of middle school and high school happened and I was like “Well shit... Nevermind I guess-“ Also, I’ve never seen myself as desirable, and that may be my dysmorphia talking cuz the image of myself in my head is a hell of a lot different than what the mirror says, but I always felt like they were lying to me when I’d get catcalled and harassed over my body, because even if they are saying ‘good’ things about my body I still don’t like I and it honestly makes me feel worse-
Side note, I am thinking about this now and I’m realizing since my sisters are all older than me that they probably were going through that in middle and high school and I, being a little kid, was just oblivious to it, as little kids are to everything
Damn I had an argument with my trash brother about how breast feeding wasn’t sexual and a normal thing to do while he disagreed until I asked him if a child sees a mom breastfeeding her baby what will that child think? Feeding the baby and nothing more so if that’s the case then why can’t you just see it at that? Kids aren’t sexual unless you make them out to be instead. He went quiet and didn’t respond. The stupid thing is that he also wants to get into medschool where he’s going to be dealing with makrd bodies that are just bodies and nothing more in that context
My mom used to breastfeed my baby siblings in front of me and I thought it was cool that her body can just make milk like that. Don't need to go to the store to buy formula or anything. What a life hack
This conversation brings up soooo many thing wrong with our society and the way we are socialized, and it's always so complicated. It leaves me with massive contradictions, within myself and my actions. On one hand, I'm a female, born and raised in the south. Been told and been given plenty of subtle messages that skin is inherently sexual. That seeing anything on the torso is you trying to be provocative, showing shoulders or wearing spaghetti straps calls for you to cover up, go change. You are being inappropriate , you are trying to get a mans attention, that wearing shorts or skirts is seen as your spreading your legs for that dick. It leaves me feeling like I need to dress like a bum for lack of a better term or phrase. I need to make myself unappealing as possible so I don't get THAT kind of attention but that means i get ignored period. It also gives me the mindset that I unconsciously shame any girl comfortable enough to dress that way, Its just clothes right??, and yet I'm instantly going "hmm look at her" and frown like a middle aged pta mom when I see it, but also am filled with envy that they can wear such things. I'm ashamed to say that I've even have subtlety tried shaming my younger sister for doing it, for being comfortable with herself in that clothing. I'm slowly realizing that and trying to work on it myself bc that's such a shitty thing to do. But on the other hand, I'm asexual. Ik know better than anyone how unsexual people truly are. I know how not sexual human bodies are, even in sexual contexts I know it. I feel it, I don't even get it sometimes myself. Ppl go wild over this actor and I'm like hmm ig?? I would always get so confused when I was told not to wear shorts or get comments when I take my hoodie off and get comments on my boobs,like I'm not doing anything?? But I still follow through with the puritan language and action. And dont get me started in the fact that I'm a black girl, so you alll know hoe everything we do is for that dick (sarcasm). It's a constant spiral of contradiction and I am trying to grow last it, and ik it will take time but still. This convo is always so complicated and complex. Hopefully we as a society try to grow past it but knowing us I don't think so.
Bro same I live in a very conservative household so the slut shaming got hammered in as soon as I was born. Yet at school I see girls wearing "provocative" clothes (I'm bisexual I can appreciate a nice woman every now and then but I'm not a fucking creep) and all I really think is how cool they look. And I remember a few years ago and even now I find myself mentally telling girls to cover up and that they shouldn't wear clothes that expose so much, unlearning is a process and it's comforting there's other people like you who are in the same boat :) good luck and godspeed on your journey fellow traveler
my neighbor yelled at me because she could see the end of my lace bra when i lifted up my arms. what was the problem? was it her? was it her husband? was it the other GROWN ADULTS around? because i know for a fact the problem was not me.
I was told at the young age of 6 that I shouldn't wear tank tops and crop tops by a teacher a damn teacher! She said I'm distracting boys. I haven't felt comfortable in my body since. I wear baggy clothes.i used to wear two piece bathing suits and now I try to cover up as much as possible. Because of so many people telling me a child that I am s3xua! By wearing smaller form fitting clothes.
Dude I saw this girl saying that someone should have stopped her as a 14 year old from going out dressed like suicide squad harley quinn because she was too young to be wearing that and I'm like???? Ma'am??? That outfit is not overly sexual its a cosplay of a character that you liked???
I followed that tik toker you showed in the beginning, and i distinctly remember seeing that video (which made me so uncomfy that i ended up unfollowing). i just cannot comprehend what about my body is sexual. I have skin, organs, hair, what about me wearing a cute shirt, or a bathing suit to the beach leaves me deserving of being hollered and hooted at? why is my existence in this body my fault? thank you so much for bringing light to this issue
A good example of intent A nude model at a drawing class - not sexual Nude model looking down my shirt while I'm drawing him the entire time - sexual and effing creepy
a minor correction: the only sexual clothing is horrible crude baby onesies with horrible crude things written on them, and no one should ever put a child in one, full stop
I feel like you should cover the body hair debate. You were really good at how you structured this, and I feel like you could definitely cover that topic. This was an excellent video.
growing up in a catholic family and conservative area i was always told to cover up and dress “modestly”. in 6th grade my school even had a day where the girls had a whole day dedicated to being a “holy woman”. this modesty along with body shaming has made me hate my body and want to hide all the time. the last couple of years i’ve tried to use more self expression by dyeing my hair and new makeup looks but fashion and my body has left me stuck. i think saying “my body isn’t inherently sexual, my clothes aren’t inherently sexual” will help slowly rebuild my confidence. i needed this video so thank you for your efforts.
my mom trys to tell me if I wear crop tops or fishnets or shorts then I'm "sending the wrong message to guys/girls" and my response to that was, "hmm, interesting mom cuz when I got r@ped I was wearing baggy clothing that showed no skin whatsoever and wasn't provocative at all" and her reaction was, "well, that's different" DIFFERENT HOW!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER LOGIC!
YES I totally agree. Another proplem that came to my mind were kids that seek out adults for sex. (I would have been like, thankfully I am a scared and shy mess) And even still there it would be 100% the pedos fault. Adults really need to sit down with their kids and talk about that stuff and not about what clothes to wear or not to wear.
yes! thank you! i LOVE wearing cropped shirts, tight pants, short shorts etc, but im so afraid of going out by myself because im afraid of the harassment. I just turned 14, but last year i went out in jeans and an off the shoulder shirt, and these two 30-40 year old looking men in a truck hoonked the horn and whistled at me. i was so uncomfortable i just went straight home. ive matured very fast, and ive received a fair share of harassment. its not fair, i should be able to go out wearing what i want.
ok, I agree that ideally in society clothes and bodies shouldn't be sexualized because like you said they aren't. Also, creepy men will be creepy men no matter what. Still regardless of the clothes or bodies being inherently sexual or not they will still be sexualized. It's not like you can flip a switch and fix the world. So what are you supposed to do? The people who really need to hear this are the creeps but it's not like they're going to listen /gen
I remember I used to always wear "modest" clothing bc my mom was always afraid of attracting predators or whatnot and even if I try sitting comfortably with my legs spread out I'm always told to close my legs bc some creep could look there or something but I just want to sit comfortably?? like it's not my fault someone's sexualizing me, blame the predator, not me please idk, let people wear what they want to wear (within reason) and sit however's comfortable for them, you shouldn't need to cover yourself to avoid attention
My friend and I talk about this a lot, we both spent a period of time as professional contemporary dancers and it is disturbing to think of how often people sexualize the bodies of non-consenting others. Dancers have a hard time with this because dance and dancers are assumed to be sexual by most audiences regardless of age or intent. Bodies are just bodies, and the owners of those bodies should be free to present them however they want to without fear of attack. I love how you put it, a body that isnt doing sexual acts isnt sexual. So true. I wish we could get past this.
i came out as trans and asexual when I was 13, and this adult man started hyperfixating on the fact that "I wAs oNLy 13" etc etc. i didn't even know this guy. the question I have for him is why do you care? if you're an adult, and I'm a child, why do you care what I do with my body, who I'm attracted to, and what my sexual life is like. whether I do anything or not its really none of your business.
this video reminds me of my school's dress code policy...damn if i have to hear my principal say "ladies you gotta cover up your mid section & thighs at school" at a presentation one more time it's over for everyone
It is literally so easy to not sexualize children
The fact that this needs to be a sentence is scary honestly. Like how do people do opposite of natural common sense in the first place???
I guess it’s much harder to protect them because that’s how people act smh
YES!!!
Fr, you genuinely just *don’t*. I cannot explain it in any other way besides just not doing it. Its easier than breathing
I mean, to you a normal human being, easy, but people with mental illness, who where abused as childs or just down right pedos. It's just not "so easy".
Some are irreparable people who need therapy and should not go near children, but there are others who struggle with their thoughts and desires and live suffering, not being able to talk about their issues since it's a concept so taboo they are in constant fear to be crucified if they even bring it up. They need help, but feel as if they can't.
I hope we could help them not to see the world that way, but we also need to be able to discuss these subjects openly so we can actually help them.
I don't mean accepting them, but to help them bury or redirect their desires, to protect children.
as someone who has always liked clothes like crop tops, fishnets, etc., but was uncomfortable wearing them bc of the shame that came with it, this video helps a lot with that. thanks :'>
Exactly
same 🥲 I’m finally putting the fishnets I wanted on my shopping list
Honesty ppl being werided out by it are stupid like my grandma told me that fishnets used to be liek somthing that women in their 20s -30s used to wear to look cool and didn’t have any like werid edgy conntions
I've been dancing for years and only today had the courage to wear a shirt that was barely a crop top but was still super uncomfortable.
@@Jett2005dotcom When I younger fishnets were often associated with fashion of the rock and metal music scene. I used to wear them with combat boots. I just thought they looked cool.
Asexual here. It’s really interesting to look at this discussion from a different point of view, as I’ve never looked upon something as inherently sexual and merely have been ‘taught’ that some things are either ‘sexual’ or not.
I really don’t understand society’s obsession with bodies and sex in general. To me, bodies have always been just that, bodies. It was quite shocking to find out that somehow the entire world seemed to think differently though?
Please say it louder for the people in the back who need to hear this the most!
SAME. I'm also asexual and I have never understood sexuality or society's obsession with it. It's just a body, get over yourself.
Exactly! And then they say that sexual attraction makes you human.
I'm also asexual and I find it so befuddling. Having a body doesn't make you sexual, and existing inside of it doesn't give others permission to sexualize you. Personally I think of my body as the meaty mech suit I operate, it isn't sexual, it's the only way I can get around. Also I think sexual people don't inherently see bodies as sexual either I'm pretty sure it's just the culture of shame and disgust that surrounds everything that makes them think that. In my mind this culture is built as a means of control, it takes away your ownership of your body and ability to do with it as you please and instead allows other people to take the reins, with the blame for what they did then being put onto you. And in turn it also makes it harder for people to come forward.
yooo ace gang
As a sex-repulsed asexual I sometimes have dramatic reactions to naked bodies but that's just my own brain and my own mindset. A naked human is just that, a human. A completely natural thing that has nothing to do with the act of sex unless it's in a sexual setting. And the reason why Americans are so afraid of nudity is 100% because of the culture.
I recently had an argument with someone trying to tell them that women's bodies are not sexual and showing off your body isn't sexualizing it nor an invitation to get comments on it and they just kept going back to treating nakedness as inherently sexual and also leaning into some victim blaming rethoric so thank you THANK YOU for this video, I haven't finished it yet but I'm really happy to hear someone articulate this topic because I hate people acting as if a naked body is "provoking".
My argument is always shit like "a single naked body is not sex. My body existing in a vacuum is not inherently sexual. If a woman is naked in the forest and nobody is around to see her nudity - is she being sexual? NO. she is existing in her body's natural state - we were all born naked, and we start wearing clothing afterwards. If a naked baby isn't inherently sexual, a naked adult should not be considered inherently sexual."
And the classic has to be "If you cannot see a naked adult body without perceiving it as sexual, that's a YOU problem based on YOUR perception of their body - they aren't actually DOING ANYTHING - just existing. Nobody *exists* sexually"
i think those type of ppl cannot differentiate the difference between simply complimenting someone's beauty/body and sexualizing them to an uncomfortable and creepy extent. yes, there are tons of photos and posts in social media where the user is wearing a more revealing outfit and their intention is to get complimented, but I'm pretty sure the user would not appreciate overly sexual comments. and i hate it so much when ppl use the argument "if women don't want to be treated as sexual objects, why are they acting like so?" to women. that's basically the point though, women want their body to be seen as normal when they walk with a crop top/shorts and not get judgy comments about how they look 'scandalous'
@@garukong. If there’s nothing wrong with it then is it also ok for a 11 Y/O girl to be wearing a g string and without a top?
@@unknowndestructivegamer3796 i don't get what you mean. wdym by "if there's nothing wrong with it?" what exactly is 'it' that you're referring to? when hv i ever said that it was ok for an 11 y/o girl to be wearing a g string without a top???
@@garukong. I didn’t say you were ok with that, I’m just worried with these people’s mindset that could lead to something harmful to children. Ever since cuties came out, I’ve been very concerned with how people try to s~~ualiz kids. I assume you agree with the video that there’s nothing s-ual about the human body, I don’t want this normalization of scandalous clothing and/or nudity to be applied to children.
It’s one thing to say women should wear whatever they want, but it’s another thing when people say there’s nothing s-ual about the human body. That could lead to a slippery slope, which is why I asked, if it’s okay to wear revealing clothing then does that apply to children too? I’m just really worried, especially the current state the world is in, with all these grooming stories.
As someone who has heard "ok, but what were u wearing?" when I was NINE, I needed this.
JFC! im so fucking sorry
NINE?! people are so fucking odd, you didnt deserve that im so sorry
Holy shit people are fucked up
I’m so fucking sorry
“These people have the critical thinking ability of a goddamn starfish” This is why I am subscribed to Nick
while clothing isnt inherently sexual and women should be able to wear whatever they want, its important to analyze WHY these more revealing clothes are marketed towards women, ESPECIALLY young girls, rather than men and young boys. i, like many other girls, had and still have major issues with hypersexualization, and the expected fashions for girls had a large impact. young girls are expected to hypersexualize themselves and clothes are a part of that. a lot of your points are correct but really wish you wouldve addressed this ..
^^^excellent point
As I understood, it is their problem they sexualizing young and female? Or you mean something else?
This is definitely what's missing from this video. No these things SHOULDNT be sexual, but when our society treats them as such you have to look into the implications of that.
It's like saying "there are no duties in a marriage that are inherently for males or females". This is true, but people ascribe household chores to women, and you can't deconstruct sexism if you don't address why. Yes it's two different subjects but they are highly related (in my example, gender roles v sexism; in the video, ascribing meaning to clothing and nakedness v hypersexualization of young girls). It's hard to address one with out the other.
@@tsatsishche yes
The issue isn't sexualization itself, bodies _are_ inherently sexual, if they weren't then sexual attraction wouldn't exist, and humans as a species wouldn't have an instinctual motivation to reproduce.
The issue is the _one sidedness_ of how it's applied in society, the bodies of men and women are both equally attractive to those who are attracted to them, but it's only women who get burdened with making themselves look good and accentuating every possible thing about their bodies. In an ideal world, men and women would be equally free to sexualize themselves as much as they prefer without any social pressure or stigma stacked on top of it, that's one of the core benefits of the LGBT movement that gets overlooked, how it encourages people of all orientations to express themselves through their bodies without any guilt.
I feel like a lot of the attacking of teenage girls for wearing "sexual" clothing that is being done by grown women is just glorified slut shaming and/or internalized misogyny as well
There’s that but then there’s the legions upon legions of men who hate on even grown women for showing any skin. I think it all just stems from misogyny and then, for women, the desire to be accepted by men. You should see Rachel Oates comments any time she has any cleavage on display
@@thegillmachine I've also seen a lot of men saying they don't want "their women" to be showing any skin. That their cleavage and thighs for example should only be seen by them.
well most of these women were targeted by harassment by older men when they used to dress the way i did and they worry that the same will happen to me. most of the women in my life have told me it just comes from a place of concern. though we progress into a newer age and more and more women are comfortable with wearing clothes that used to be/or still shunned, so hopefully things'll change.
A lot of us have grown up with internalized misogyny, I still struggle not to be uncomfortable looking at my own naked body in the mirror
@@caffeineaddict. yeah but I've also heard grown ass women accuse younger girls of being "fast" or basically sluts because they don't understand how inappropriate calling a child that is.
There are abusive women out there that subscribe to the idea that once you grow tits you're basically an adult sexually speaking and thus are her "competition".
Usually women who have themselves been abused like that but being a victim doesn't justify being an abuser.
when i was younger, my friend had a younger sister who would hang around with us a lot. they had a pool in their backyard, so we'd go swimming a lot during the summer. she'd wear bikinis most of the time, since she thought they looked really nice and loved looking the way she did. her brother and i had _no_ problem with it. her parents, however, were *suuuuuuper* weird about it, saying she shouldn't dress so "provocatively". she was _eight_ .
Wow that's shocking, saying that about an 8 year old! It makes me feel a sick. Kids are so confused when adults say stuff like that because they don't have the capacity to understand at that age.
When I was that age I had a lot of friends who were boys and none of us thought about each other in that way. We were too busy having adventures and climbing trees.
If she shouldn't wear it why buy it for her?
@@kerisaltchannel3817 omg exactly 😭😭😭
How can you tell an 8 year old kid in a bikini that she's dressing "provocatively" 💀💀💀
Like adults forget that these things never even cross a child's mind...puritan panic LOL
nah causes there’s cultures where people walk around butt naked, and nobody gets aroused by each other unless they’re literally having sex. so perhaps it’s that sexualizing a human body’s existence is rather a learned behavior. end of story.
Those cultures that get aroused by ankles and wrist are just so sad.
There are a lot of repressed sexual urges in modern societies specially within men. This is why we need to remove taboos from body parts and sex.
Exactly, breasts aren’t inherently sexual in those cultures and the people don’t give a fuck because literally everyone has their tits out constantly. It’s absolutely a cultural thing.
enter my culture.
my ancestors literally wrapped a cotton cloth around them and said "this will protect me from the cold of the himalayan ranges"
I was looking through traditional dances for random cultures as a part of a world history project, and came across various African dances where the women would be completely shirtless. Even as a person who is primarily attracted to women, I personally didn't find it sexual. Why? Because it was in a setting that was 1.) an essential part of their culture and 2.) it was not in a sexual setting.
Even fetish gear isn't inherently sexual. Like I think most people have walked around with a harness as part of their outfit at this point.
Honestly? Great point. I forgot harnesses were fetish gear, which kinda proves your point.
I think i might be showing my age but I've never done that. I might have back in the day. 😅
It depends on the harness
harnesses just look cool!! I was actually completely oblivious to the fact that they were used as fetish gear lol
a lot of the time with this type of stuff I'm completely unaware that it's fetish gear unless someone tells me
yeah tbh i wear lots of belts/chokers that are basically fetish gear but no one says anything or thinks of it as weird, its just a style at this point
A few minutes into this video, and you’ve given me a lot to think about! I’m a Christian currently deconstructing a lot of my religious trauma and core beliefs, and your channel has given me a lot to consider. Thanks for all you do!
Edit: Did not expect that my comment would become a battleground for religious discussion. Please be kind in how you address one another, and remember that different views are okay as long as they don’t hurt people 💖
Omg same, God bless us :Dd
Gg
One thing that I’ve found is that lot of bigoted “Christian” values aren’t actually found anywhere in the bible. All of the sexist, racist, and homophobic things I’ve seen Christians claim to be rooted in the bible were actually made up by religious authorities who wanted to take advantage of their power to push their own agenda. So Christianity in and of itself isn’t bigoted. A select few people who hide behind it are.
@@Sapphic_Schedule I wouldn't necessarily say that. Have you actually read the bible? There are genuinely very horrible things in that book.
@@BigGayIncorporated yes, there are. However, I would argue that christians should regard Jesus’s words above all else in the bible and he said to treat everyone with kindness and love. That’s just my personal interpretation of it though. I’m mainly talking about the things that ARENT in the bible. Not the things that are because those are entirely different cans of worms in my opinion.
why can’t people just be allowed to wear what they feel confident in 💀
I agree- 🧍♀️like I was going to wear my skirt yesterday and when my dad saw it he was like yea no you are not wearing that, it's short and your shoulders are showing so I understand what everybody is going through TwT
If it were my choice, I would wear steampunk-style outfits all day, every day. But this would be frowned upon by society.
This kinda reminds me of why I stopped wearing cat ears a long time ago. For context I wore them in like middle school cause I thought it was fun. I ultimately stopped doing it cause I would keep getting weird questions from some people at the school. I'm kinda sad about that cause it was something that genuinely made me happy
Well I'm the weird kid and senior year I want to get out of my comfort zone and wear Lolita to school and wear more clothing I have sewn myself
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 you sow your own clothes? Based as hell that and Lolita fashion (of which I only know a little bit about) is pretty cool too
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 that's so cool!! i hope people don't harass you or treat you weirdly because of it (but you said you're the "weird kid", so i guess they do...). finding the confidence to wear whatever you want is impressive, i really admire that :D
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 I also wore lolita inspired skirts that I've sewn myself to school, and our principle HATED me for it. I would smile and greet him everytime I saw him and he would just look at me with disgust. He also did some unfair things to me but it is too long of a story lol
@@denizkaragullu6239 funny thing is at my school if they want to punish me for Lolita they'll have to punish another group of kids no matter what they code me for.
I've definitely been indoctrinated by my mom especially growing up as a black girl with my body developing a lot faster than my peers and all the shame that comes with it. It's really fucked up and I'm trying my best to unlearn this stuff.
you go bestie :]
THIS. Dude. You hit puberty a lil early and all of a sudden all the fucking aunties are accusing you of "tryna be fast"
I hate it so much
I totally get it. I'll never forget that time when I went swimming In a white shirt with no bra (simply because I didn't like wearing them), but because I developed faster than most even tho I was around 10 or 11 my parents still made me go home and my mom lectured me ://
same here girl.
i remember not being able to wear FUCKING OVER-THE-KNEE SOCKS because they were “too grown-up”. since i had longer skirts, the skirts + high socks would make DIY tights because those were fucking expensive. can we please stop sexualizing SOCKS. LITERAL SOCKS.
Like what if your calves were just cold that day ??? "Sorry, your *covered* lower legs are *sexy* "
@@amandarama3314 and like they are LITERAL SOCKS. what if we started saying “nah, six year old. you cant wear ankle socks because their too grown up”
I know I'm not the only one that has been told that red nailpolish is too grown up
@@nononononono1730 red and dark purple and hot pink were forbidden to me as a child
@@amandarama3314 That's just how the human brain works, if something is covered or highlighted, it automatically draws the attention of your eyes, this applies to anything, not just the body.
But, since the sexually dimorphic legs of women are already something a human brain attracted to women is wired to look for, the effect is multiplied.
This is the same energy when schools like, refuse to let girls wear tank tops or shorts even :/
Like
Same exact thing
Ay school systems, why do you think *shoulders* are “too revealing” to you or even a small showing of stomach 🧐
It’s honestly so annoying tbh (like I understand I’m in a Catholic school but. Most schools that aren’t Catholic also have this rule which again. IS DUMB-)
Anyway keep it up! You have opened my eyes up to much more stuff and now I can help my brain learn better
At my daughter's school (which isn't affiliated with a religion) the girls aren't allowed to wear slim fitting t-shirts for P.E. They have to be loose fitting. It's ridiculous, as if the shape of a girl's body is shameful and needs hiding.
I go to a British school with a uniform and they still find ways to shame Feminine people for their clothes, too small skirts, colourful bras, and some non 'sexual' things like Coloured hair, hair length, piercings, shirts being tucked in and other very small nit picky rules, its about control and pressing a narrative. But it's even worse when Masculine people don't get punished for nearly as much or as harshly, Masculine people may be tild to take something out or fix it in a few days but Feminine people at my scholl get taken out of lesson, sent to isolation, given detention, sent home and expulsion for a period of time.
@@callmeaspen3868
Exactly! It’s so hypocritical!
My old elementary school (where it was uniforms 100% of the time) my teachers wouid send the girls to the office or ask them to “pull down your skirt so it’s the “”appropriate”” height”
Like and even then o thought this was stupid
And like
Ugh
It’s stupid.
I’m glad I don’t have to wear uniforms as often anymore (we still do on mass days, when guests come or otherwise) but it still bugs me because the schools expect us to silent,y be like “Oh okay I’ll bend to your every whim because need an education and if I disobey I’ll have to miss a day of MY own education :]”
Again it’s just..like ??
@@callmeaspen3868 why do they shame bras!? Like you can't see them unless....
WHY ARE THEY LOOKING INSIDE THE SHIRT
@@darkenedsynia_owo1094 missing education based on an outward projecting clothing style is absolutely stupid and unnecessary
This is so true! Reminds me of another school nearby me where they had an assembly telling girls to stop wearing leggings for pe because it was "distracting the male teachers" LIKE BRO YOU NEED TO FIRE THOSE TEACHERS
That's disgusting! Leggings cover the whole bottom half of your body. Like you said, if some male teachers can't handle looking at the shape of a girl's body then they are definitely in the wrong job.
THAT'S SO MESSED UP WTF
If the teacher is getting "distracted" by his students bodies then the police need to be involved and their eyes gouged out
@@amandarama3314 petition signed
YO WHAT that's whack, like how does the school not stop to think "wait a minute maybe it's weird that teachers are looking at students like that"
How these people who believe bodies are inherently s3xual get by in society is something we may never know
Freud's ghost is gaining power 😔
Because it’s true?? Lmao if our bodies weren’t sexual then we wouldn’t be able to reproduce? Bro I don’t even like wearing revealing clothing or people that do it but I can tell you that for a fact
@@FrillyDisaster did you even watch the video?
@@FrillyDisaster just say you like slut shaming and go on about your day.
@@cantyouseethatyourelost Did you even read his comment? He's saying that if our bodies weren't sexual, then we would never want to have sex, but we do.
Honestly this is a point I'm always making to my parents, but they're so stuck in their ways that they refuse to see that bodies aren't inherently sexual, I'm asexual so I've personally never seen bodies sexually, but i do understand that most people do, yet I'm still baffled that people are victim blaming, hell, I've been on the Recieving end of it, i remember how upsetting it was when my mum told me i looked like a hooker(not Shaming sex work it's real work but u understand my point) when i was fucking THIRTEEN! I wanted to look nice for an outing with my friends, and then my mum was shaming me for what her preconceived notions of sexual clothing was
@@coloringbunnies1273 no fr ur fucking weird for looking at ur child/family member in that way in thr first place whats wrong w people i cant take it anymore
I sort of had something opposite happen to me. I'm also asexual and overall don't really like people viewing me in a sexual way and have a lil bit of dysphoria, so i wear more loose clothes, which are far more comfortable for me. My mom on the other hand insists that because i'm a girl i should wear tight clothing, r e v a l m y l e g s, wear makeup, wait for it, literally, *for boys to like me*. I literally can't and it's just so weird hearing how you can be so, so wrong on both sides of that - i mean - seeing certain clothes as inherently sexual, and on one hand not letting your child wear them, and on the other sort of forcing that.
@@Nat_boo Yeah, seems no matter what we do we can't win
I had something similar happen, I wanted to wear long acrylic nails but my mom said no because she, and I quote, didn't want me to look like a 12 year old hooker. It's been years since then but her mindset still remains the same.
My mom legit does not let me wear skirts or shorts whenever I go out to hang out with my friends if at least one of those friends are a guy- My knees are usually scraped or bruised because I do skateboarding, so I find it really uncomfortable to wear pants because they hurt my knees, but still! Like if any of my guy friends find my kneecaps and ankles sexual, that is on them
Bikinis are similar to wearing just a bra and underwear but due to social ideas the bra and underwear can be considered more sexual. However, people where bikinis and are still sexualized so I feel like that proves the clothing isn’t the issue. It’s what the person perceiving the clothing and the body are making of it.
It's funny that bikinis are often made from less material than bras but are seen as more acceptable to wear in public. In the summer I saw many women wearing triangle bikini tops in the park but if I exposed my big white bra that covers everything, I'd have gotten some strange looks.
As a society we've assigned meaning to different items and often it doesn't make much sense.
I love how you always seem to talk about the things that everyone tries to ignore because even when people do try to confront issues like this, it seems that it’s not always in the most logical way. As someone who went to a Catholic school with a strict dress-code, this is just so refreshing to hear. Tbh though, now the main reason why I don’t wear skirts or shorts like I used to when I was 13-14 and didn’t really think much of them is merely just out of fear of attracting predators still, especially when living in an awfully crowded city with all kinds of people.
the thing is, im an indigenous person. our view of sexuality and bodies is radically different than that of so many others and its almost a culture shock for me. i am in feminist coalition and many of these girls are anti-sex work and i even saw one of them (a syrian girl) repost something about how "the perverted western media makes you kinky" and she's spoken a lot in these meetings about how "the west is sexual and praises sexuality" and as an indigenous person thats just so. to me, being an indigenous person and living under today's america, americans are PRUDES. americans use sex as a violent tool to oppress women and to sell shit but when sex is overtly spoken about and put in a positive light, its almost like the world is coming to an end.
colonialism :((((
haven’t watched the video yet but the other day I saw on youtube a video of a guy at online class saying that beyoncé is not a good role model bc she “sexualizes herself” and I was like ????? first of all it is YOU who at the sight of a body sexualizes it, and second having a body and not hiding it is not necessarily for sexual… anything.
Compared to some others singers who are overtly sexual in their songs and performances, I've always thought Beyonce comes across as classy and strong. She seems like a good role model.
@@TheLadyDelirium Exactly! There’s some artists that actually want to give sexual and sex, bc that’s their intention and it’s obvious. But Beyoncé puts on a bikini, gives a sexy performance, and then she’s sexualising herself, like what? There’s a difference and I think people fail to identify it, which is what Nick talks about. Also yes, Beyoncé is a great role model, she has done so many great things, I love her.
@@piaaisdora '' gives a sexy performance'' but ''isn't sexualizing herself'' in the same sentence makes me confused. Can you like, elaborate or rephrase that?
I know this doesn't have anything to do with the video, however, I'd like to say that I really like your videos and you're incredibly funny!!
Thank you :))
@@NicholasBlack 💕💕
I’m not allowed to wear any vibrant makeup (especially red lipstick), crop tops, or even LEGGINGS with a short shirt. Half the time, my own mother is the one making me uncomfortable in my own body to the point where I just wear baggy jeans and a sweatshirt. Sometimes, the people sexualizing you most are your own family. Kids just want to express themselves without having to be stared at by creepy old men, or victim blamed by our own parents. My heart goes out to anyone who has a story like mine and/or is a victim to this system (he/they please)
Fr I’m so sick of people telling me, a minor that what I’m wearing is inappropriate, like it’s my damn problem in the first place. I’m wearing clothes. I look epic in my tights and skirt. Leave me be. I’m not drawing in men, or anyone for that matter.
Let me wear clothes, please, and thank you.
I'm on the opposite end, I do not mind "modest" clothing and by modest I mean pink and frills and big poofy skirts and sleeves. But nope pink and bows are apparently not meant for teenagers
How can tights and a skirt be inappropriate- 💀
@@apolloandwarrior_3229 I'm a guy who likes to wear long skirts/dresses and frilly cardigans and long socks, and as such I can't wear what I like to wear without constantly being asked if it's like a fetish thing or something, or told that my clothing is inappropriate to wear outside my home or around children.
And those are on "good days". I h8 it here 🙄
Biggest example of clothing being sexualised for no reason are damn school uniforms
I'm an azn and I go to a private school where our skirts are plaid.. Even the boys in our school secksualize our uniforms like crazy bcos of prawn and fetishes and stuff.
It's so gross to have adult men make comments about us when we were just trying to exist.
It really sucks cos I love my school and I'm proud to go there but I can't deny that not having to wear the uniform bcos of online school has been such a relief.
Literally, it was so normal to have teachers tell the girls to pull their skirts down and tell them their skirts are too high in school 🤦🏽♀️
You're so right! When I was 13/14 my step mum uses to shame me all the time for wearing skinny jeans, short skirts ext., and she wouldn't even let me where crop tops. She made out like I was trying to attrack boys and made me feel bad. No, I just wanted to wear the same sort of clothes my friends were wearing and skirts with pretty patterns. I did not think of my body sexually at all at that point so why where you?
I'm a Mum to a 15 year old and she wears what she wants. It's not nice that your Mum shamed you like that, instead of supporting you expressing yourself. I hope you can choose your own style now and feel more comfortable in your choices.
@@TheLadyDelirium sounds like a great mum! I don't talk to my step mum anymore and wear plenty of clothes that I put on and sometimes think to myself 'she would hate this lol.'
From someone who has been harassed over their heavily female presenting body, I love the message in this video, but I wish we could live in a world where it was… relevant? Because nothing exists in a vacuum, and given centuries of culture, items and words develop connotations, which can overpower a technical definition or use of something. I, personally can think that fishnets aren’t sexual, but that doesn’t stop the status quo from being swaths of people who WILL sexualize them. Obviously I know that children wearing them aren’t trying to be sexual and shouldn’t be sexualized, but given my experiences as a woman, I know that it is in the hands of other, often disgusting, people to sexualize them. Y’know? Like I wish I could’ve walked around in fishnets every day as a 14 year old but the truth was I got harassed and needlessly traumatized more when I did. I can deal with it fine now because I KNOW that I can wear whatever I want and not be sexual. As long as they’re with people they trust, kids should be able to wear whatever tf they want, but it’s so much more different if we are discussing clothes they wear commuting to school, out in public, whatever… when they are exposed to people nobody really has control over. Idk, this video may have twiggewd me a wittle because I got harassed on the street a lot for wearing short shirts and thigh highs, etc, as a minor… and even tho I know it’s not my fault, I also know I have no control of how others see me. And I think that’s what’s the scariest, knowing it can sometimes lead to assault and murder. I would love to let kids wear shit crazier than what I did but I feel like that is opening them up to so much potential trauma and body issues. I’d never police how a child of mine dressed, but I know I’d be worrying about them more the more and more “adult” they were dressed. Feels like we should all adopt the thinking in the video, but only once our society has had a serious reckoning with how it over sexualizes minors. And until then, it just feels vaguely dangerous. I think that letting children express themselves and protecting them can coexist somehow. I think I should stop writing because I definitely am disassociating and I keep finding myself wanting to continuously clarify and keep writing, I know the creator will never read this, and I justthink I feel like I need to say something because of the perceived authority you have because of your audience. Video just struck a very anxious chord in me I guess,?
I agree with you.
@@chicka-boom7540 Hah thanks glad it was understandable at least
I agree and also, I think if a child wants to wear something mature first thing I'd do is understand if it was the child's idea and it's simple self expression or if there's someone else pressuring the child to wear certain kinds of clothing( especially if it's out of the blue)Like if there is some groomer around them , or the child is being peer pressured to dress and act a certain way and doesn't really want that but just does it to fit in. In a society where being precocious is rewarded because there is a bunch of creeps who are actively preying on a child' s inexperience , I think it's best to have conversations about why the child wants to wear something. Not because bodies are inherently sexual or an invitation to violence, but to assure that it's merely a fashion choice and not some form of manipulation
youre right. you're right and you should say it
"The child isn't wearing a ballgag" is a sentence i didn't expect to hear today when i was waking up in the morning...
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK. Thank *fuck* that you made this. Some people seriously need to hear this.
the Asexual community thanks you 😁
Yes, we thank you!!
Yeeeee! Ace peeps represent!
Yes! I was just going to comment this.
Yeah lol 🥲🥲🥲
Ace gang ace gang
You make a lot of amazing points in this video, but one thing I'd like to add is how this rhetoric ties pretty heavily into fatphobia. A lot of the people who make the "x article of clothing is inherently sexual" argument will have a fit when they see a fat person wearing "sexy clothes" because they often think that fat people are inherently gross and unsexual. Ultimately the message turns from "that outfit is too sexual" into "you shouldn't be wearing that because nobody wants to see your body." It's just an alternate route to fat-shaming.
this!!
It's like " you shouldn't be wearing that because I am not attracted to your body" ?!
I think it’s more the idea of other people thinking they don’t look good in more revealing clothes. And maybe it isn’t appealing to look at. But either way, people are allowed to wear whatever they want to wear, so just stop looking
Ever since I was a little kid, I always wore oversized shirts as pajamas and my family members would freak out and say how sexual I was being like ???
I agree that nakedness and clothing aren't inherently sexual. How these are viewed depend on the culture they're being observed in. In some countries bare breasts are the norm whereas in other countries you'd be arrested for bearing them.
I think the problem is that even if we individually think that no clothes should be viewed as sexual, society has labelled certain things such wearing a corset and thigh high boots as having sexual connotations. So, most people wouldn't be disturbed by seeing a naked kid but they would if they saw them wearing such an outfit. I think it would be very difficult to destroy the sexual association with certain items due to how ingrained they are within Western society.
As for showing bellies and wearing bikinis etc people should be free to wear what they want, when they want. However, I think an awareness of how others can view certain clothing can be taken into account when accessing personal safety.
P.S. First time I've watched this channel. It was an interesting to think about.
I think you touched on some important issues that weren't covered in the video, especially cultural context. Certain things ARE seen as sexual and it results in victim blaming.
@@alexshemwell8320It would have been good if he explored the subject from different angles. I'd love it if everyone could wear what they want without the worry of people sexualising them, but unfortunately that's not the world we live in at the moment. Progress and change takes time but looking at history, freedom to wear what we want is continually improving.
As an artist, I've never thought of bodies as sexual. When I do a body study it's not the equivalent of drawing porn, the human figure is beautiful in a way completely removed from sexuality.
I am so glad you are talking about this cause I am sick of people who have this puritan mindset like even people who aren't religious still have
many abrahamic religious fiews ingrained in their minds
hey dude nothing big but as a jew it kinda irks me to be scooped in with puritans? “abrahamic religions” is not a great line, just say christian if you mean christian
@@kato3247 Absolutely this. There is just something so "special" about White Christianity to the point where most presentations of it are deadly levels of dogmatic, unparalleled in their bigotry, and build shame in their followers to the point that being a member of these religious sects is enough to put many young people and children on the track toward developing serious trauma and makes many adults turn into monsters. The world they live in is demonic and evil and terrifying but the things they label as such are so mundane that you question their ties to reality. And its all for trying to please a benevolent gd who they describe as anything but that. Meanwhile, those behavior patterns are something you only see in the most radical sects of Judaism and Islam, who are usually groups that aren't popular with the laid-back sects. Unlike in Christianity, where sects either hate everyone else or try and pose in a sort of pan-Christian comradery that doesn't actually exist. The only kind Christians are the ones who take the scripture and make something out of it for themselves, and there are several sects of American Black Christianity that make the white sects look like monsters. There are some people who show that Christianity has room for joy and hope and love among all peoples in their eyes, but most of it is just there to threaten minorities and keep its followers in line with self-destructive values.
I'm a Jew by birth but not by faith (you can thank coerced conversion to Catholicism 5 generations back for that!), I've never had the opportunity to authentically connect to my culture or the religion tied to it in the ways I would like to, but what I know is that its beautiful. I have a Jewish friend who lives in Minneapolis, and ze's a nonbinary lesbian who plans on going on testosterone and getting bottom surgery. Not once has ze ever felt unwelcome, invalidated, or ashamed of hir sexuality or gender by any religious leaders or community members. Whenever the conversation does come up, ze's celebrated for being authentic to hirself. Many of the older members are confused, but they're rarely malicious or outright bigoted. That's something that ze can't even get in many queer spaces, but these Jews that ze's grown up with hir whole life, they're nothing but loving and accepting.
I also haven't had much contact with Islam since I've lived in areas dominated by Christian cults like Mormonism and Jehovahs Witnesses that push those people away, but as someone who is openly and visibly queer and disabled, I have never felt unwelcomed or unloved or attacked or shamed when interacting with someone who is talking about their love for their life as a Muslim. I've seen so much online about disabled and queer Muslims showing the unique type of beauty and celebration that their intersecting identities receive from their communities. Genderfluid Muslims who wear hijabs and have invented masculine styles of wearing them, gay men having Muslim weddings, trans women being excited beyond belief to wear hijabs for the first time and celebrate their Islamic womanhood, trans men being celebrated for embracing Islamic manhood, and so much more is so much quicker to be accepted by Muslims than I've ever seen with Christians.
At least with my experiences I've talked about here, I think its the comradery in minority status that's created such a peaceful and positive relationship between queer and disabled non-religious communities and Judaism and Islam. That along with the fact that there's been no cultural push for Jewish or Muslim sects to branch off and become radically oppressive, at least not in the US.
@@amiaswolfgang literally yeah (also congrats to your friend!! i wish zem all the best). i'm the opposite of you, jewish by faith and not heritage (although i do have jewish cousins), and while as an ex-xtian i understand the lack of information on the topic it's infuriating all the same.
@@amiaswolfgang There are some denominations of Christianity that are pretty laid back/compassionate, Quakers, some sects of Lutherans, the UCC, Episcopalians, but yes, Catholics and evangelical Protestants (the majority of Christian Americans) tend to be pretty harmfully conservative maybe not always as individuals but as institutions and by extent a lot of their followers are. I would say that political leanings tends to vary more than just fringe conservatives and progressives in the other religious communities mentioned, based on what I’ve heard from other people I know that were raised according to other religions, but I would agree that they have more successfully carved out a distinctly progressive version of their faith likely because of shared oppression.
@@amiaswolfgang congrats to your friend!
Thank you! As a Finnish person it's absolutely depressing to watch how English speaking puritanism is seeping into our culture through social media. This oversexualisation of everything is fucking up my brain as well and it's so hard to fight the influence T-T
That's sad to hear. I always saw the Nordic countries (and northern Europe in general) as being places where nudity is less stigmatized and sexualized than America.
Just remember that Puritanism is a disgusting social disease and that anyone who says otherwise needs to be locked up.
@@paigemosher8697 Remember that being in the wrong does not reduce your humanity and that re-education is always possible desu
@@paigemosher8697 nobody's saying u need to be locked up theyre just saying ur WRONG lmao calm down
I hope that people in your country don't get influenced by this! Ironically, puritanism requires a person to see bodies in an inherently sexual way which prompts an avoidant reaction to showing off skin.
My mother told me recently that she didn't let me shop at Justice s a young child because she "didn't want to be a young grandmother" and people who shop there "want to be hoes". MOTHER, I WAS E I G H T .
As a woman whose had big tits since she was 10, I've been dealing with this shit a lonngg time. I stopped wearing bras at 17 because of a skin condition and I've been getting a rash (haha) and a crap from my mother and grandmother ever since. At 19, my grandmother once saw I had a little bit of side boob and her response to finding out I was going out was, "You CANNOT go out like that, you'll get yourself raped. Go put on a bra." I've been told my whole life that my actions/my body will cause me to be sexually assaulted. I always had to change my clothes or put on a bra when my grandfather was home because it "made him uncomfortable." In my own house, I couldn't exist.
I love this whole video and the message
Its so annoying, almost every day in summer I have to think about things like this (I'm a teenage girl)
I WANT to wear: a t-shirt, just a tshirt, no bra or stuff
I "should" wear: a tshirt with no decoltè and a bra
I end up wearing because I'm afraid of creeps: a hoodie
This is so frustrating, and its even more frustrating that I cant change anything... like, I want to make those creeps shut up by wearing what i want to, but I just cant, because I'm afraid of what might happen... ughh
Reminds me too, I love Lolita fashion but I'm a teen so I shouldn't be dressing up in frilly clothes and bows because those are for "little girls" I also want to wear Hanfu but guess who lives in a white ass area where any clothing deemed "aisan" is automatically japanese!
For reference I am American, so I can’t speak with any certainty on other cultures. However I recently watched an animated French movie called fantastic planet with my dad, really good you should check it out. All of the female characters have they boobers out and it’s not presented in a exual way, they’re just there. Theres also a few willies. This film is also ostensibly family friendly in every other way. (although it’s not necessarily for children it’s a bit too abstract for most kids to keep up with) If this movie was released in America everyone would lose their minds.
dammit i wanna watch that film for so damn long, it looks so cool
i found it, ill watch it later - fufu
If It was released in America it would be cancelled by angry conservatives calling it feminazi propaganda or something like this.
France is less freaked out by bare breast yep. I mean we had topless women in pretty much every yogurt commercials when I was a kid xD but sadly we're starting to pick up on that naked breast = bah thing and I think it's really sad
Oh yeah-it’s been a while since I’ve seen that movie, but the impression I remember having was that the nudity was more about dehumanization than sexualization (I also remember some parts being kinda disturbing and gory so idk if I’d consider it family friendly but maybe I should give it another watch)
@@sammartin1972 some kids media gets really screwed up, but then again it’s not made for kids exactly
Lowkey reminds me of a bible verse in Matthew where Jesus says “If your eyes cause you to lust, pluck it out”
What I’m saying is that Jesus would agree that sexualizing another person is always your own fault than the fault of another person for existing
ALSO ABOUT THE CORSET PART corsets were support garments (literally part of underwear as well) so like it makes no sense as to why they are seen as sexual. unless you’re talking about corsets that are used in fetish work, because those are indeed sexual, but these specific type of corset is different than historical support garments
also its always "feminine" clothing like bra straps and skirts that people have a fit about
Dudes walk around in nothing but boxers and no one bats an eye but a girl accidentally shows one (1) boob and shit hits the fan
I 100% agree that clothing is not inherently sexual. The problem arises with the way others will view it. If a teenager was to walk around in a crop top, short shorts, and fishnets, it is very likely that there are going to be creepy guys ogling her. This is not to say that she shouldn't wear those clothes, by all means she can, but that it's important to understand the kind of attention she may receive for dressing that way. If she still wants to wear those clothes aware of how she might be viewed, then she can dress however the hell she wants.
Nobody should be telling a kid not to wear something because it's "too sexual," but perhaps should have a conversation with them to make sure that their decision to dress that way is an informed one.
I would say that that makes sense, but I also think that while it would be more likely for her to be harassed (although absolutely not her fault, something to be aware of) I think that people are going to sexualize you no matter what if they’ve been socialized to think that that’s ok. I’ve heard people who just happen to feel more comfortable in clothes with more coverage have people tell them stuff like “I’d like to see what’s underneath” entirely unprompted.
All I'm wondering is what it would take to change the behavior and attitude of sexualizing clothes and bodies in the first place.
@@fionatastic0.070 exactly, I’d get harassed no matter what I wear. Sweats, loose fitting tshirts, boyfriend jeans, being female, male, non-binary ect. All I could say it is bad timing and a creep would just happened to be near by, that has the AUDACITY to come near you.
Even then you are instilling the idea that the way you dress determines the respect you get. Did you not watch the video or chose to ignore every minute of it??? Besides you just contradicted yourself in the first two sentences of your comment. Putting on clothes is not akin to having an abortion btw🙄
@@agstinacueva1673 The point of the video is that clothing is not inherently sexual, which I never argued against and actually opened by agreeing with. Another point in the video is that we shouldn’t tell kids not to wear something because it’s “too sexual,” another point I explicitly agreed with. Warning someone of the sexuality others will apply to that clothing to ensure they are making an informed decision, while also making clear that is neither their nor the clothing’s fault, in no way goes against the points made in this video.
Minors are welcome to wear whatever they want, and I fully encourage them to explore and discover their sense of style. That does not change the fact that there are creeps that treat certain items of clothing as sexual. Making sure they are aware of this sad truth is not the same as telling them they’re too young to be wearing something.
Videos like these really help me out tbh. Whenever I was SA as a kid my parents always told me that it was somehow my fault, and that I was s&%ualizing myself somehow. When I was like 8. I'm now kinda terrified of interacting with people in anyway because I might be "asking for it". I'm slowly trying to crawl out of that mindset though and I feel like this helped-
Say someone gets jumped. The *victim* then receives the blame for “letting themselves” be beaten black & blue! It’s a complete 180 on accountability.
No one ASKS to be beaten within an inch of their life!
I am so sorry for your trauma. F*ck the person who so terribly violated your personal space, and f*ck the people who didn't give a shit about them.
My mom told me it was my fault that a middle aged man attempted to assault me when I was 15, because and I quote "I should have said no more".
came back to this after seeing a tiktoker say that floral underwear at brandy melville gave off "minor girl vibes" (so basically, childlike) and felt "creepy".
Yes, thank you! As someone who despite being in an incredibly safe environment has been afraid of going out in really short shorts/crop tops/etc. since I was 11 because what if something DOES happen? It's so refreshing to see someone reaffirming my beliefs and it makes me feel incredibly seen
I once got into an argument about whether or not someone could wear a bralette, and they were saying something like “no you can’t wear undergarments as outer garments”. And then I was like “ok, so if I wear to wear a bra under something that had the same coverage as a bralette, how about now?” And they were fine with that. What the heck! The difference is how the garment is designed! Its a piece of fabric that covers the exact same amount of flesh! It’s like saying I can’t tie a jacket around my waist because it was made to be a jacket! That’s dumb!
the only clothes that might not be suitable for children other than fetish wear are high heels higher than 1 inch (WHICH ARENT SEXUAL) they’re running around and you don’t want them to break their ankles
Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of yourselfs💜💜🤗🤗
This over sexualisation of clothing has gone to cultural wear too. Take a look at the native hawi’ian wear (Ive forgotten the actual name, I sincerely apologise). Its too “revealing” for young girls, when its simply cultural clothing.
EDIT: Ive discovered what i believe is the correct term, I was referring to the traditional outfits worn when doing hula/‘ori tahiti.
everyone is just so affected by this issue to a level it’s hard for me to understand sometimes, like i’d never questioned my mom not letting me wear bikinis when i was little bc i was so used to stuff like that but now i realize that’s ridiculous. thanks for making this video and just all of ur channel bc i’m rly glad i’m learning about this stuff at a young age (and in general) so that i’m not uneducated and part of the problem
whenever the thumbnail is just nick staring blankly into the camera i get a little scared
As a kid, my mom only let me do classical dance (ballet, Irish dance, ECT.) because she said all other types of dance were sexual. Never understood it because all the girls at my Catholic did hip hop and other dances. It's so strange.
You forgot to account for the amount that people check other people out on a daily basis.
ikr i thought i was the only one who thought that was weird and creepy... i remember i was chilling in middle school and my friends were talking about stuff and one of them brought up smth "relatable" about "checking people out". i was like, "what does checking people out mean?" and they were just casually like "oh like when you're looking at someone cute/attractive." and i was like "uhhhhh.... what???" and anyway they just ignored me and kept talking about it or whatever. and i kept thinking and complaining in my head that the only reason you should be looking at someone is if you're talking to them or they're talking to you or if you accidentally zone out while your eyes are in their direction, or smth like that. but not for ogling at them because you think they're "attractive." and it's like, bruh you're literally children. you're 12-14. are you kidding me? and that really fueled my fear of growing up tbh, because i just thought i wasn't mature enough to understand, and i thought i would become a total creep like everyone else when i grew up. and i thought i was the only one 13 year old kid in the world who still thought of themselves as a child. so yeah, i still don't know how to feel about all that.
I think this goes beyond way back in the past when colonialism was a thing. Many natives/indigenous people don't wear clothes the way European/white Americans did because of what they've internalized about clothing. They projected their ideals (and took advantage of that), especially against native women, and shamed them into wearing clothes.
Thank you for this video, cause twice this week I had my parents complaining about my clothes. First my father was bothered I was wearing a dress that showed off my shoulders, and then when I wanted to wear a short to go to the therapist (cause I live in a very hot city), my mom said it was too short and she wouldn't walk around with me dressed like that cause I could be harassed
You getting harrassed is not your fault, ever, full stop.
I grew up in Scotland but I was born in Germany and I go back every summer. Until about the age 7 or 8 when going to the beach and swimming/playing in the water I went completely naked and after that I usually only wore the bottom half of the bikini ( now that I'm older, I wear a full swimsuit unless I am in Germany were if I am comfortable enough I only have the bottoms one). When I told my British friends this they completely freaked out, saying that disgusting and what about pedophilies, and until then that had never occurred to me.
I agree with the following message that you said: "The clothes are not inherently sexual."
I also agree with: You need to be aware of the context to avoid victim blaming
However, while you and I may be able to see that fishnets aren't sexual, a gross man may see that and think "Oh, they are wearing that because they WANT MY attention." Which is just the way is. Im not blaming anyone except those predators. Men, even women can be predators.
The frustrating thing is when you ask "Why are stocking sexy?" and they say "They just are." I don't think it is ignorance here that prevents someone from hearing that its just cloth. I think its the awareness that there are creeps out there who will see it sexually that makes them say "they just are." especially in the USA where a predator lives just down the street in most neighborhoods.
The discussion of course should change the narrative to protecting children and opening up the discussion to what is consent and what is boundaries, but again the issue will never be oh shes too young to wear that, it will always be, you shouldnt wear that because its unsafe. Which is even worse because why do clothes have to be unsafe, because of predators. And thats the sad thing about clothes, is they are just cloth, they have no meaning, but to a weird evil person, they are invitations, and they will impose those views on us, and others wether we like it or not.
The real question is, if teaching the next few generations to not sexualize clothing, how do we ensure they can still have boundaries that wont be pressed by adults who know how to take advantage of that.
I get what you're saying, and yeah it's absolutely valid to want to protect children. But of course it should be framed and said different, not you shouldn't wear that because you're too young, but 'hey maybe you shouldn't wear that because other people could perceive you this way and take advantage of you' (I think you already said that).
However I don't really get the last part of what you're saying? Teaching people they can wear whatever they want without attaching meaning to it doesnt really necessarily have to do with being able to set boundaries in my opinion... You can learn to set boundaries no matter what kind of clothing you wear. Teaching about consent is gonna do more than teaching to dress modestly since people including children get sexually harassed no matter what they wear. Actually I think it'll make the situation better since it makes survivors less likely to feel shame and responsibility for being harassed.
Maybe I misunderstood what you were trying to say though, in which case it'd be great if you could elaborate!
@@justme-qd6qb Hey thanks I can elaborate! I think I phrased it wrong at the end
I think we should teach the next generations that clothes are not inherently sexual
and on top of that not correlated at all also teach them how to set boundaries, because there will be people who will try to push said boundaries depending on what you wear.
I don't believe that teaching to dress modestly is beneficial long term, as all it does is perpetuate the idea that if you arent modestly dressed youre at fault. i think all "modest dressing" does is put blame on victims if something happens to them, like oh you didn't dress modestly enough so youre wrong. if that makes sense.
I agree with everything you said! I just am afraid that even if we can pass down the idea that clothing has no inherent sexual meaning, there will still be creeps who benefit from it.
This!!! I had difficulty articulating my thoughts about it but this is 100% it. There are certain clothes that have almost… attached meanings?? If that makes sense?? Like the clothes are highly associated with certain situations. Not necessarily like fetish gear, since sex isn’t really the purpose, but the situations the clothes appear in are almost always sexual. Like it depends on what the clothes draw attention to? What was the intention of the clothes? Were the clothes themselves made to appear sexual? Most of my issue with children wearing certain clothes is whether or not the clothes were made to be perceived as sexual. Kinda like undies vs lingerie
@@youraveragetoxicwaste4781 i didnt even know lingerie was percieved as sexual for the longest time, i genuinely just thought it was aesthetically pleasing and looked comfortable
@@saa-wnbaw I mean a certain type of lingerie! There are some which are just cute but there are others which are extremely sexual/intended to sexualise their wearer
Bodies are bodies
You can’t believe how often I have to explain this as a costume and fashion designer. It’s so so so so frustrating
As an ace who wears short shorts, crop tops and cleavage because it feels more comfortable to me, thank you. Being dressed a certain way is not sexual and I'm sick of people thinking short clothes = sexualisation.
I always love your videos because tiktok "leftist"/liberal politics always contradict their own point on literally everything to the point that it is fucking confusing.
I might have n explanation for why fishnets are seen as inherently sexual. It's not the best one but it's the best explanation that I could reasonably come up with. Media has a large effect on how we view the world and live our lives, and in media fishnets typically are portrayed in a sexual light, so repeating that over and over again has caused fishnets to have a sexual connotation.
The only people really shown wearing them in media are sex workers (which are demonized and portrayed as trashy)
And then you have fashion styles like Lolita that are quite conservative and modest and still have creepy people sexualizing the style
This just made me think of school dress codes. Honestly my high school is relatively cool, cause even pre quarantine the dress code was very lenient, but after we got out of remote schooling, there’s practically no dress code at all. People wear hats, short shorts, shirts with straps or no straps, crop tops as short as bras, it’s amazing to see.
Thank you, I'm a teen and when I was a child I was told from a very young age that I couldn't wear the shorts, skirts and shirts I wanted to because I was too young. Now that I'm a teen I've started wearing those things; I became a lot more confident in my self. My mentality has become a lot better and it's because of adults like you that that has happened. Once again, thank you.
Ayyy thank you for making this! This is something I always get frustrated about, I hate how I see posts that have (usually) women in them doing absolutely *nothing* sexual just, existing, and comments sexualize the shit out them. Even worse when its minors.
Sometimes I can't get any traction in arguments like this, because if the person I'm arguing with knows that I'm asexual, I'll get a "you wouldn't understand". Like ??? 👁👄👁
Anyway, the vibes are immaculate 👌
I've literally had ppl try to tell me I'm "actually asexual and just don't know it yet/lying abt being allo"" when i try to ask them why they sexualize things
@@saa-wnbaw 👁👄👁 people are fucking stupid
Thank you for putting words to these ideas, gonna use some of this next time someone says stupid shit about life drawing
I love life drawing. The human body is beautiful to draw. It's sad that some can't see that.
In Eastern Europe it's common to see toddlers or little kids without bikinis at the beach because everybody knows how a body looks like. Americans are extremely prudish for no reason (I think my other comment was deleted)
Ya know, I never really experienced the massive amount of sexualization growing up because I grew up in a house of just girls, never had a father or weird uncles to worry about, just girls. So, when I was younger learning about those things I was like “there’s no way it’s all that bad, like my mommy and sisters dress however, and I do too and we’ve never had it happen to us I don’t think.” And then 3rd year of middle school and high school happened and I was like “Well shit... Nevermind I guess-“
Also, I’ve never seen myself as desirable, and that may be my dysmorphia talking cuz the image of myself in my head is a hell of a lot different than what the mirror says, but I always felt like they were lying to me when I’d get catcalled and harassed over my body, because even if they are saying ‘good’ things about my body I still don’t like I and it honestly makes me feel worse-
Side note, I am thinking about this now and I’m realizing since my sisters are all older than me that they probably were going through that in middle and high school and I, being a little kid, was just oblivious to it, as little kids are to everything
Damn I had an argument with my trash brother about how breast feeding wasn’t sexual and a normal thing to do while he disagreed until I asked him if a child sees a mom breastfeeding her baby what will that child think? Feeding the baby and nothing more so if that’s the case then why can’t you just see it at that? Kids aren’t sexual unless you make them out to be instead. He went quiet and didn’t respond. The stupid thing is that he also wants to get into medschool where he’s going to be dealing with makrd bodies that are just bodies and nothing more in that context
pwahaha, that sum flAWlELsS IQ
Gross. That scumbag should be nowhere near people in that regard. Hope he flunks the entrance exam so he won't have that kind of power over others 🙏🙏🙏
My mom used to breastfeed my baby siblings in front of me and I thought it was cool that her body can just make milk like that. Don't need to go to the store to buy formula or anything. What a life hack
"im in my demonetization era" -nick 1/15/22
LMAOOO
This conversation brings up soooo many thing wrong with our society and the way we are socialized, and it's always so complicated. It leaves me with massive contradictions, within myself and my actions.
On one hand, I'm a female, born and raised in the south. Been told and been given plenty of subtle messages that skin is inherently sexual. That seeing anything on the torso is you trying to be provocative, showing shoulders or wearing spaghetti straps calls for you to cover up, go change. You are being inappropriate , you are trying to get a mans attention, that wearing shorts or skirts is seen as your spreading your legs for that dick.
It leaves me feeling like I need to dress like a bum for lack of a better term or phrase. I need to make myself unappealing as possible so I don't get THAT kind of attention but that means i get ignored period.
It also gives me the mindset that I unconsciously shame any girl comfortable enough to dress that way, Its just clothes right??, and yet I'm instantly going "hmm look at her" and frown like a middle aged pta mom when I see it, but also am filled with envy that they can wear such things. I'm ashamed to say that I've even have subtlety tried shaming my younger sister for doing it, for being comfortable with herself in that clothing. I'm slowly realizing that and trying to work on it myself bc that's such a shitty thing to do.
But on the other hand, I'm asexual.
Ik know better than anyone how unsexual people truly are. I know how not sexual human bodies are, even in sexual contexts I know it. I feel it, I don't even get it sometimes myself. Ppl go wild over this actor and I'm like hmm ig?? I would always get so confused when I was told not to wear shorts or get comments when I take my hoodie off and get comments on my boobs,like I'm not doing anything?? But I still follow through with the puritan language and action. And dont get me started in the fact that I'm a black girl, so you alll know hoe everything we do is for that dick (sarcasm).
It's a constant spiral of contradiction and I am trying to grow last it, and ik it will take time but still. This convo is always so complicated and complex. Hopefully we as a society try to grow past it but knowing us I don't think so.
Bro same
I live in a very conservative household so the slut shaming got hammered in as soon as I was born. Yet at school I see girls wearing "provocative" clothes (I'm bisexual I can appreciate a nice woman every now and then but I'm not a fucking creep) and all I really think is how cool they look. And I remember a few years ago and even now I find myself mentally telling girls to cover up and that they shouldn't wear clothes that expose so much, unlearning is a process and it's comforting there's other people like you who are in the same boat :) good luck and godspeed on your journey fellow traveler
my neighbor yelled at me because she could see the end of my lace bra when i lifted up my arms. what was the problem? was it her? was it her husband? was it the other GROWN ADULTS around? because i know for a fact the problem was not me.
I was told at the young age of 6 that I shouldn't wear tank tops and crop tops by a teacher a damn teacher! She said I'm distracting boys. I haven't felt comfortable in my body since. I wear baggy clothes.i used to wear two piece bathing suits and now I try to cover up as much as possible. Because of so many people telling me a child that I am s3xua! By wearing smaller form fitting clothes.
Dude I saw this girl saying that someone should have stopped her as a 14 year old from going out dressed like suicide squad harley quinn because she was too young to be wearing that and I'm like???? Ma'am??? That outfit is not overly sexual its a cosplay of a character that you liked???
Right???? The character does sexual things because of the way the actors portray her.
Thank you, I always think about the many cultures in the world where people can go around naked and it's completely normal.
I followed that tik toker you showed in the beginning, and i distinctly remember seeing that video (which made me so uncomfy that i ended up unfollowing). i just cannot comprehend what about my body is sexual. I have skin, organs, hair, what about me wearing a cute shirt, or a bathing suit to the beach leaves me deserving of being hollered and hooted at? why is my existence in this body my fault? thank you so much for bringing light to this issue
“i’m in my demonetization era” LMFAOO
A good example of intent
A nude model at a drawing class - not sexual
Nude model looking down my shirt while I'm drawing him the entire time - sexual and effing creepy
a minor correction: the only sexual clothing is horrible crude baby onesies with horrible crude things written on them, and no one should ever put a child in one, full stop
Yeah, especially stuff like the "future hooters girl" shirt.
I feel like you should cover the body hair debate. You were really good at how you structured this, and I feel like you could definitely cover that topic. This was an excellent video.
growing up in a catholic family and conservative area i was always told to cover up and dress “modestly”. in 6th grade my school even had a day where the girls had a whole day dedicated to being a “holy woman”. this modesty along with body shaming has made me hate my body and want to hide all the time. the last couple of years i’ve tried to use more self expression by dyeing my hair and new makeup looks but fashion and my body has left me stuck. i think saying “my body isn’t inherently sexual, my clothes aren’t inherently sexual” will help slowly rebuild my confidence. i needed this video so thank you for your efforts.
Oml I think you are now my favorite rant youtuber
my mom trys to tell me if I wear crop tops or fishnets or shorts then I'm "sending the wrong message to guys/girls" and my response to that was, "hmm, interesting mom cuz when I got r@ped I was wearing baggy clothing that showed no skin whatsoever and wasn't provocative at all" and her reaction was, "well, that's different" DIFFERENT HOW!? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HER LOGIC!
This video needs way more views. As an asexual person this runs through my head all the time. Solid video 10/10.
YES I totally agree. Another proplem that came to my mind were kids that seek out adults for sex. (I would have been like, thankfully I am a scared and shy mess) And even still there it would be 100% the pedos fault. Adults really need to sit down with their kids and talk about that stuff and not about what clothes to wear or not to wear.
The only time crop tops and fishnets are inappropriate is when it’s snowing outside. Or when they’re not wearing sunscreen.
yes! thank you! i LOVE wearing cropped shirts, tight pants, short shorts etc, but im so afraid of going out by myself because im afraid of the harassment. I just turned 14, but last year i went out in jeans and an off the shoulder shirt, and these two 30-40 year old looking men in a truck hoonked the horn and whistled at me. i was so uncomfortable i just went straight home. ive matured very fast, and ive received a fair share of harassment. its not fair, i should be able to go out wearing what i want.
I agreed with everything you said in this video. I honestly don't say that often. Thank you.
ok, I agree that ideally in society clothes and bodies shouldn't be sexualized because like you said they aren't. Also, creepy men will be creepy men no matter what. Still regardless of the clothes or bodies being inherently sexual or not they will still be sexualized. It's not like you can flip a switch and fix the world. So what are you supposed to do? The people who really need to hear this are the creeps but it's not like they're going to listen /gen
It’s not like we can’t try.
I remember I used to always wear "modest" clothing bc my mom was always afraid of attracting predators or whatnot
and even if I try sitting comfortably with my legs spread out I'm always told to close my legs bc some creep could look there or something but I just want to sit comfortably?? like it's not my fault someone's sexualizing me, blame the predator, not me please
idk, let people wear what they want to wear (within reason) and sit however's comfortable for them, you shouldn't need to cover yourself to avoid attention
My friend and I talk about this a lot, we both spent a period of time as professional contemporary dancers and it is disturbing to think of how often people sexualize the bodies of non-consenting others. Dancers have a hard time with this because dance and dancers are assumed to be sexual by most audiences regardless of age or intent. Bodies are just bodies, and the owners of those bodies should be free to present them however they want to without fear of attack. I love how you put it, a body that isnt doing sexual acts isnt sexual. So true. I wish we could get past this.
i came out as trans and asexual when I was 13, and this adult man started hyperfixating on the fact that "I wAs oNLy 13" etc etc. i didn't even know this guy. the question I have for him is why do you care? if you're an adult, and I'm a child, why do you care what I do with my body, who I'm attracted to, and what my sexual life is like. whether I do anything or not its really none of your business.
this video reminds me of my school's dress code policy...damn if i have to hear my principal say "ladies you gotta cover up your mid section & thighs at school" at a presentation one more time it's over for everyone
i have a lot of unlearning to do from the ideas that have been drilled into my head and i thank you for content like this to help in this process