Top posts from r/Crackheadcraiglist on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Narrated by / devotedly_jack . Editor ► (uncredited) Narrator ► / devotedly_jack
I was really confused when I saw a target in America and then seeing everyone talk about the red target balls because my local target doesn’t have the red balls, none
I'm generally against selling your kid's stuff as a 'lesson', but the kid Intentionally and repeatedly rolling a steamer in the shower absolutely warrants this response.
I've heard of pooping in the shower and tossing it in the toilet, I guess it's okay if you wash up, but leaving turds in the shower, repeatedly after being told explicitly not to? Yeah, my kid would also not have any games anymore.
if I showed my parents that photo after they told me my room is a mess they'd probably say "See, that's exactly how your room is gonna look if you don't clean this up NOW"
Thajocoth Ain‘t those things heavy af and also, well, cemented into the ground? I‘ve never been to Target, so how the fuck do you get one of those and how the fuck do the employees just let you take one of their balls?
@@theunicorn1167 I think they just see that shit and go "Ya know what? Fair play,he managed to get it out of the ground,AND put the thing in his truck."
@@moonstone9292 I want to say it existed, but it's genuinely blurry on whether or not it did. I remember Sinbad being popular, then all of a sudden, he vanished. Someone in my old hometown said it was because he did a crappy knock-off of Aladdin "around that time" (mid-late 1990's), and that it was called something like that. It wouldn't shock me if it was genuinely so horrible that the studio never actually released it (or never got all the way through filming it, or perhaps just never started), made everyone involved sign NDA's, and destroyed the prints and script copies. This being before the Internet was so huge, I can see them getting away with it.
As far as anyone saying that this movie actually ever existed, try finding proof of it anywhere. (Not just someone saying they remember it, but an actual copy of the movie at all) The messed up thing is somehow I remember that movie (or my brain thinks it was real anyway) even though it never existed.
2:53 that's italian, and i confirm, the average person here in italy knows very little English, ending up writing crap like that on social media (especially Facebook marketplace)
4:58 that kind of looks like someone died on it then rotted for a bit. Being that kind of bed, it is assumed the person was unable to get around all that well. Plus, there is that whole "you crap yourself when you die" thing.
It's funny because I always end up liking the video before I actually watch the video because I already know it's gonna be good, hahaha. Thanks for uploading this video. I got such a good laugh out of it.
that moment when the narrator doesn’t recognize that it was literally those barrier balls outside of a target that this man is literally selling for $15
Why would you edit that and still show you didn't know. You could just ask them to remove the comment and edit it correctly sorry for seeming to be mean my dude it's just i would like to know
demon justice The reply to show that they made a mistake and the edit because it either bothered them or to make that no more people reply with „tHeyRe nOt oN pIlLaRs“ like many people do on TH-cam, even though the mistake has been pointed out already.
I would LOVE to have the ...barbie lamp, target ball, hamster wheel, door ram, 3:38, mildly used sharpie, uh this 5:31, random traffic light, CHAINSAW BIKE, fnaf Freddy Furby cuz why not, "hairless kitten" frickin cute, NINTENDO SWITCH, motorized picnic table, this 12:27, jet-powered go-kart, THIS 13:22, shopping carts, and pet portraits $10,.
10:50 - The Salvation Army discriminates against LGBT+ homeless, and will often kick people out of their shelters at a whim. It's probably for the best the money shouldn't go to them. (And instead to another worthy charity etc etc)
5:05 I don't know if I'm more concerned that they have the audacity to think anyone will buy that, or that they say the stain is from only ONE bowel movement.
Can I just say this brightened my day so much that I made a play list called: " watch when feeling depressed " for it and other videos that make me laugh
Emkay narrators: Jack:the funny British guy Robin:the guy with the most obnoxious puns imaginable Damien:the missing one Lexi:the funny Florida man with a good voice
There's actually a market online for non-functioning electronics, as people who refurbish used electronics can cannibalize the non-working one to help fix the one that is in better condition. Also, there are fun things you can make using one of the diffusion layers in a TV or computer screen (A fake window that produces natural-looking light, a giant magnifying glass to start fires using the sun) many wonderful things can be done with the leftovers of a broken piece of tech.
Those "doll house tables" are nothing more than the little props they use in pizza cardboard boxes to keep the top cover from getting squashed into the pizza. But it's amazing that someone thought of that, probably after a few joints and a beers.
Person: is this still available?
Person2: yes
Person: no, thanks
Person2: understandable, have a great day
Pie
SuperGamer Ty Apple Pie
michael zhang pineapple apple pie
It’s not understandable it understoodable
@@itoaste pen pineapple apple pie
The “Free grave” cracked me up.
That guy was simply pissed beyond measure for good reason
That sounds like "how to come up missing".
Why hasn't anyone posted "pie" on this comment?
Pie
Technically speaking here, all graves are free. At least for the person going into the grave.
It's like a last gift.
3:42
Person: “My heart for 1 dollar”
The Medic: “I’ll take your entire stock”
*sandvich*
AND THAT'S HOW I LOST MY MEDICAL LICENSE!
Well there is only one heart so
The thing is that it’s a one time purchase.
pIE
When he said "Target ball" it means that the person selling that stole one of those balls that are ALWAYS infront of a target
Props to them for being able to pick it up.
I used to think.i could move those as a kid I felt so upset when i finnally connected the fact that it was cement and part of the sidewalk
@@hopelessheathen8190 Lmao
@@hopelessheathen8190 as a kid I was always able to shift it a bit if my mom wasn’t looking, but when I did I would panic and put it back
I was really confused when I saw a target in America and then seeing everyone talk about the red target balls because my local target doesn’t have the red balls, none
Aren't those "tables for dolls house" actually just the thing that Domino's put in the middle of takeaway pizza?!
Yes.
😱👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Logan H r/EMOJIPOLICE, YOU’RE UNDER ARREST!
I'd buy them, I used to think they were for doll house because I was an idiot child
why do they put that there tho
I'm generally against selling your kid's stuff as a 'lesson', but the kid Intentionally and repeatedly rolling a steamer in the shower absolutely warrants this response.
Agreed.
yeah seriously.
I've heard of pooping in the shower and tossing it in the toilet, I guess it's okay if you wash up, but leaving turds in the shower, repeatedly after being told explicitly not to? Yeah, my kid would also not have any games anymore.
I don't even think I'd sell it. That stuff would be donated, and I'd bring him along to watch it go bye bye.
I’m also very against that but damn, this exception was very much warranted.
if I showed my parents that photo after they told me my room is a mess they'd probably say
"See, that's exactly how your room is gonna look if you don't clean this up NOW"
what photo
Robin Welper 15:23
It do be like that
My cat is bilingual, it keeps telling me "I'm not a cat, please stop petting me"
Oh God....
Was it called Lexi?
Is your cat for sale? I want to buy it, for research
wow can I steal it?
Pie
I would like that “hairless kitten”
It’s a pink fairy armadillo. I love them.
I love them too! :D
i liked this comment just to ruin the 123 count >:D
Oh yes! Those armadillos seem almost fake or from a fantasy, but they’re so cute! :3
My sister once tried to sell her ex boyfriend online as a used toilet cleaner 👀
Pfffft
R/technicallythetruth
@@thekingnerd6639 🤣🤣🤣yes!!!!!
@@thekingnerd6639 r/wehavereddit
Hahahahaha
Idea:
Hello everyone, my name is Jack, I'm a snack that bites back.
Buy my real animal bidding starts at $200
tHe sNaCk tHaT sMilEs BaCK
*gOLdFiSh*
@@allie3845 excuse you, it's *children* not goldfish.
·,
EXCUSE YOU!
It’s CLEARLY *1471* and not *you.*
Dr. Jack Bright EXCUSE YOU. ITS MY CAT'S ASS, NOT 1471.
The "Target Ball" is made of stone. That's one of the big stone balls they put in front of Targets so people can't drive into the building.
Thajocoth
Ain‘t those things heavy af and also, well, cemented into the ground? I‘ve never been to Target, so how the fuck do you get one of those and how the fuck do the employees just let you take one of their balls?
@@theunicorn1167 I think they just see that shit and go "Ya know what? Fair play,he managed to get it out of the ground,AND put the thing in his truck."
That "vintage Faygo can" looks like an item you'd find on the floor of a vault in Fallout.
I'm not alone ( ° ͜ʖ °)
And yeah it does
yay fallout gang
Bethesda should make an Insane Clown Posse version of Fallout in which bottlecaps are replaced with Faygo Caps. Like if you Think this is True..
Fallout 5 will take place after the clownpocalypse decimates Earth
I play fallout 4 and can agree with this
“What do you use souls for?” Have you NOT seen Undertale? They’re used to bake cakes!
oh yeah but I'm vegan so I prefer the substitute UwU
@@confusedmedictf2207 good for you!
Disclaimer: If you give it to your flower he might turn into a goat
They are also used to transform into a demon, or a goat.
Disclaimer: Some patients reported side effects of turning into a giant mutated tv thing/rainbow demon goat
"I apologise to all who are eating right now"
*looks down at the ramen noodles I have left*
I have chocolate 😫
@@thorian8533 oof
The doll table is just those pizza lid holders so all your cheese doesn’t stick to the top of the box honestly pretty clever though. 😂
I mean, we all had that point in our lives when we looked at the pizza box thingy and though "this looks like a perfect table for tiny people."
I used those as Lalaloopsy tables when I was little
FullMoonOctober that honestly gave me a good laugh you’re not wrong 😂
NO! NOOO!!!! it's a tiny man table... its...its the only hope I have... please ... *sobbing*... dont take this from me
I used to use thosde for my old dollhpuse
“Comparing it to that person’s crotch over there, that seems pretty big.”
*WHY DO YOU COMPARE STUFF TO CROTCHES???*
You see, crotches are the newest measurement unit, hence why he compares them to crothes
Crochet?
compared to that crotch over there, the bottom text is pretty large
Wtf
I was watching mid vid and decided to check out the comments and when i got to this one the same words were pleying as i was reading lol
Hey there and welcome to EmKay is basically my morning call at this point
I'm from the UK. I said "morning call" because of the Americans, that all :)
I've never actually been out the country ;)
M a t t same, I’ve lived in Britain for my entire life
U saw you on another vid
You keep beating me at wii bowling
EmKay is Morning. EmKay is Evening. EmKay is Day. EmKay is Night.
1:36 Those aren’t even doll house tables, those are the things Pizza Hut puts in the pizza boxes to keep it from sticking to the top of the box 😂
6:00 Woolloomooloo is actually a real place, the spelling is correct. It is an indigenous name.
Exactly
1:35.... dude..... those are Pizza separaters to keep the cheese and toppings away from the box lid and sticking
We know
I- *my life is a lie*
I said the same thing. Friggen hilarious and I won't lie, I used them too because my family was poor
Pie
Giving me r/wooosh vibes rn
We should sell Emily on Craigslist
That’d be the ultime r/crackheadscraiglist
OH ERM GEE EMILY YOIR SUCH A CRACKHEAD AHHSAHSWHDHSAHAHWHHJAHSHAHAQHAHAhaha
Selling Megan the EmKay houseplant for $500. She comes with a free slice of bread that never goes stale for some reason.
EmKay is the price negotionable?
taysoures perfect deal
@@EmKay im offering 5000$ for that piece of art!
8:44 that is a Mandela effect. A lot of people remember there being a movie with Sinbad in it named Shazam, but that movie "never existed".
That movie definitely existed, i remember it being the reason i hate sinbad
@@moonstone9292 I want to say it existed, but it's genuinely blurry on whether or not it did. I remember Sinbad being popular, then all of a sudden, he vanished. Someone in my old hometown said it was because he did a crappy knock-off of Aladdin "around that time" (mid-late 1990's), and that it was called something like that. It wouldn't shock me if it was genuinely so horrible that the studio never actually released it (or never got all the way through filming it, or perhaps just never started), made everyone involved sign NDA's, and destroyed the prints and script copies. This being before the Internet was so huge, I can see them getting away with it.
As far as anyone saying that this movie actually ever existed, try finding proof of it anywhere. (Not just someone saying they remember it, but an actual copy of the movie at all) The messed up thing is somehow I remember that movie (or my brain thinks it was real anyway) even though it never existed.
Movie, Jack Reach or Jack Reacher?
"a voice as smooth as crunchy peanut butter"
can we all just appreciate that banger of a line
"Rust isn't vintage"
Me, a lover for anything wasteland related: well yes, but actually no
Fallout
1:01 -am I the only one who thought a murder might bury one of their victims there and then can frame the guy?
Smart
Thanks for the idea
@@sajjadaskary288 WAIT NO!
@@sajjadaskary288 >:)
@@sajjadaskary288Hope you succeed!
So did Damien and Zach just, quit? I’m worried for their safety. Let them out of your basement now!
damien has his own channel but idk about zach
Damien left, and I'm not sure about Zach
@Counfused Bear damien lee
Never!
Nice profile pic I love zelda games 😋 sorry I just HAD to point it out
2:53 that's italian, and i confirm, the average person here in italy knows very little English, ending up writing crap like that on social media (especially Facebook marketplace)
"Furby fnaf freddy"
More like
"New improved Nightmare Freddy coming into fnaf 4!"
7:35
Honestly that "cutting your way through traffic" thing is the most Irish joke a person can make
Imagine having to go to a funeral of a random person on your backyard
Thats what I'm thinking XD
Jack is the funniest narrator, you *_cannot_* change my mind.
I can but I lack some important info and chloroform
Edit: I don't want to, but I'm just saying I can.
Guacamole
I agree, though I also reckon Damien is too :)
I miss Damien honestly
@@aquiline-eagle9669 Same but I like Jack too
"I hope no one is eating right now"
Me who ate 4 brownies and drank a milk
Hopefully cow's milk.
What about me :(
8:05 - 8:07
**Talks about FNaF**
FNaF fans: Ok nice
**Talk about fire right after**
FNaF fans: ITS MY TIME TO SHINE
Yyyyep
Those “Doll House Tables” are the things that come in the middle of pizza boxes
Thanks Sherlock
@@BLUE_FLUFF how far did you scroll down to comment that like surely it took at least 20 mins
Petition for Jack to say,
"Hey, I'm Jack, and I'm here to crack your back-"
Yes please
Please. Do it Now
@@EmKay Oh-
I would want that target ball just to act like a 8 year old trying to jump over it
My brother ripped his pants open once doing that and has never been back to target since
Jalex Ones Chanel lmao
my mom works at target and doesnt let me jump on them but i do it when shes not looking and im behind her
THAT TARGET BALL ISNT A REMINDER OF THE LOGO, TARGET JUST HAS THOSE BALLS OUTSIDE THEIR STORES. HOW THE HELL DO YOU STEAL ONE?!
It's also made of solid concrete
InsertNameHere YEA AND ITS LIKE 4 FT DIAMETER!
A loooooot of lube
[stolen from pinned comment]
@@sarahthornton26 *and how is it stolen? It's just a similar comment, not stolen.*
12:15 no one gonna talk about how they are literally holding drinks over it to pretend its transparent
"I'm interested in buying this for $1,000."
*a few moments later*
"$1000?!?! THATS TOO MUCH!!"
4:58 that kind of looks like someone died on it then rotted for a bit. Being that kind of bed, it is assumed the person was unable to get around all that well. Plus, there is that whole "you crap yourself when you die" thing.
6:22
The new death sentence, you have to pole dance while the ATV is going top speed until you fall off
14:04 It's not "create another category," it's "create another CAT ORGY."
Awwwwwww, yeaaahhhhhhhh...
I'm always having the shivers when I see stone angels in front of a house
I wonder if that guy who sells the ugly bird house is ok?
He blinked
It's funny because I always end up liking the video before I actually watch the video because I already know it's gonna be good, hahaha. Thanks for uploading this video. I got such a good laugh out of it.
That moment when you’re buried next to a dead dog and a pool noodle
Oof
@RUSSIAN MAN, it drowned
my bf's cat is also bilingual, when he pets me I say "please get some sleep"
(this is a cry for help)
Um like you need sleep help or are you in a situation where um you are um you get my point um yeah this is awkward
@@Meowstick it's ok I was joking (but I do need sleep)
@@Meowstick I'm confused
that moment when the narrator doesn’t recognize that it was literally those barrier balls outside of a target that this man is literally selling for $15
but how do you steal a ball of cement
@@mewyorkcityf46607 Well you get about 6 guys together and then share the money
@Nick Kohlmann
okay thanks for the tip
those things are fun to climb on
They probably don't have Targets in Australia
"Idk what are souls used for?" Maybe they're used on the bottom of shoes.
"JET POWERED GO-KART"
How has this not been bought yet?
When i saw the thumbnail it was adorable but when i read the title i couldn't stop laughing
1:31 no that’s literally the ball that sits on top of the pillars outside of targets
Edit: not on pillars just on the ground
What pillars? They’re just there
ESP PupsnKits omg you’re right they aren’t on pillars. My whole life I’ve walked past them and never looked closely
Why would you edit that and still show you didn't know. You could just ask them to remove the comment and edit it correctly sorry for seeming to be mean my dude it's just i would like to know
theres no pillars theyre just sitting on the ground near the entrance and exit
demon justice
The reply to show that they made a mistake and the edit because it either bothered them or to make that no more people reply with „tHeyRe nOt oN pIlLaRs“ like many people do on TH-cam, even though the mistake has been pointed out already.
Why does the 'deer' in the thumbnail look like my dog lol
Edit: WAIT NUGGET NO IM SORRY
nugget playz huh?
@@MD_Films lol nugget is my dogs name haha
Mom: where were you?? I've been looking for you for hours.
Me: Some weirdo wanted to smell my feet for 80$ an hour *Counting money*
I would do it
I don't remember writing this.
@@thathyena2949 There are pills that help with memory loss.
@@MyRegardsToTheDodo Respectfully No.
I would LOVE to have the ...barbie lamp, target ball, hamster wheel, door ram, 3:38, mildly used sharpie, uh this 5:31, random traffic light, CHAINSAW BIKE, fnaf Freddy Furby cuz why not, "hairless kitten" frickin cute, NINTENDO SWITCH, motorized picnic table, this 12:27, jet-powered go-kart, THIS 13:22, shopping carts, and pet portraits $10,.
3:12 Bet the guy with homemade rock weights is related to the guy who built his own gym equipment out of wood.
Puny mortals someone used ice then fire
10:50 - The Salvation Army discriminates against LGBT+ homeless, and will often kick people out of their shelters at a whim. It's probably for the best the money shouldn't go to them. (And instead to another worthy charity etc etc)
Goodwill also sucks. Treat their employees like crap.
Fair enough.
Goodwill doesn’t suck it’s literally just boring old stuff and nothing cool there
@@cumdaddy3 wdym i find good books there(but i got clean it smsmsms)(inraged grumbling)
5:39 this is Yoshikage kira's dream breakfast
How many things will JoJo fans turn into JoJo references??
Comic Strider everything can be a Jojo reference if you think hard enough
10:30 "I'm sorry to those who are eating rn" *Me continues to eat a bowl of ice cream*
“What do you use souls for”
The obvious answer is immortality
When your time is up, Trade the devil a soul for some more years
Emkay: rust isn't vintage.
Me:*glances at my ww2 German helemt shell that's bascily all rust* .-.
It's ok... You're a wehraboo.
No one expects wehraboos to be smart. We all know you're the flat earthers of the miltech world.
@@scottc1857 tf is a wehraboo
@@themagicalonionfairy7455 people who jerkoff to "muh superior Nazi weapons technology" like the guy I responded too, look at his user name
That is a slightly different case. But that is cool
This subreddit is just compilation of weirdos who don’t know how to access the dark web
Title could’ve been: Deer Dog?? Dear God....
Genius
YES you are genius
WAIT.
Deer dog?? *deer* god
You mean a Deerg (Deer and dog hybrid)
All I had to do was watch this ONE VIDEO and now Jack is narrating my life from inside my brain
Just gonna, gonna buy that hamster wheel. Yah, I will be right back guys.
Bro it just came out and there are already 2 dislikes smh.
Pie
Bruh now 6 I don't get why people dislike videos just watch someone else
Pie
Pie
Pie
If that Shazam vhs was real, you'd have a lot of people who would pay even more for it considering that film doesn't exist in this universe lol.
that movie shouldn't be there. But i kinda remember owning it as a kid too.. freaky.
@@CiscoKidd055 ya thats the whole stigma around it. The Mandela effect
But it does exist in the other dimension.
I remember seeing this thing for sale.
A million dollars for a pair of scissors.
Scissors.
2:10 all I can hear in my head in a junkrat voice is "I'm in a giant hamster ball!!!~"
okay, that first one got me laughing more than it ever should have
0:57 Free grave? I'm sure the FBI would like to know if it gets used.
A booger for $200?
Child voldemort: IlL tAKe yOur EntIRE StOcK
yeah the minute he said that ON THE INTERNET i thought "YE FOOL, knoweth ye not what ye unleasheth?!"
$1000 👁👄👁
4:58 SOMEONE DIED IN THAT BED
@ᑕᗩ丂丂ᗩᑎ刀尺ᗩ *crapped to death
@@notatrollll *Exploded with a full stomach
2:30
wait
hamster wheel, human sized
the person selling it is named sandra
sandy’s full name is sandra
holy-
5:05 I don't know if I'm more concerned that they have the audacity to think anyone will buy that, or that they say the stain is from only ONE bowel movement.
The last time I was this early Lincoln was still president
Pie
Pie
Pie
Pie
The pie is a lie.
Remember me before the comment section gets overflowed
Too late already
Too late already
I still see you lucky man
No
Too late already
Bones ad a extra crunch to my pizza and I love it
Pie
Its called hands sir and please stop shaping them in a pizza shape
*add an
I wasn't gonna like this cause it's edgy and over saturated but I saw your username so I just
1:32 These aren't even doll house tables, they're the little plastic things that come in your pizza box lmaoo
Can I just say this brightened my day so much that I made a play list called: " watch when feeling depressed " for it and other videos that make me laugh
For my birthday, I'm going to get a
*Deer Dog*
Pie
Pie
Pie
Pie
Pie
0:29 I'd love to see that thing on BattleBots
Gotta admit, the motorised picnic table would be neat.
The poll
Im a racecar builder, we make these all the time. They're fun af. We also have a civic engine powered sofa and a haybusa recliner
Pir
Yeah, you could be zoomin while you're foodin.
Emkay narrators:
Jack:the funny British guy
Robin:the guy with the most obnoxious puns imaginable
Damien:the missing one
Lexi:the funny Florida man with a good voice
7:59
Five Nights at Furbys
Day 29 of recommending r/breadstapledtotrees for no reason... again since there were two uploads this time
Pie
I remember you
Pie
Pi
I'm so confused right now why does every comment have reply's saying "pie" did I miss something-
The target ball was actually one of those massive cement balls outside target
those so called "doll hose tables" look a awful lot like those things you put in the middle of pizza's to prevent the lid from touching the pizza.
There's actually a market online for non-functioning electronics, as people who refurbish used electronics can cannibalize the non-working one to help fix the one that is in better condition. Also, there are fun things you can make using one of the diffusion layers in a TV or computer screen (A fake window that produces natural-looking light, a giant magnifying glass to start fires using the sun) many wonderful things can be done with the leftovers of a broken piece of tech.
8:45 Bruh it’s the one from all those Mendela Effect videos. This is priceless. 🤣
If anyone wants the name at 6:00, its Ray Morgan. Your welcome.
How did I know? Because its easy to see through terrible coverups XD
I live in the place with the “free grave”...
I feel so cool.
You are, person with a Gundham Profile picture
I GOT SO EXCITED WHEN I SAW UR PFP BECAUSE I LOVE GUNDHAM
Okay *Gundham*
9:51 I forgot I'd seen this and what happened, I thought it was ok so I took a huge swig of water... You know what happened next.
9:51, the reason that the dad sell his son's Nintendo Switch for $200 GOT ME LAUGHING
Cat milk can be very dangerous to drink if the cat has been eating certain plants.
1:35 its one of those things they put in pizza boxes so the pizza doesn't get crushed haha.
9:43 the cracks/lines looks like a kid dabbing
I thought it looked like a goat Or something idk
*I Will Give You 100 For That Boogeey*
*6:12*
Is that still your answer?
10:59 don’t feel bad, they stole it from salvation army
Those "doll house tables" are nothing more than the little props they use in pizza cardboard boxes to keep the top cover from getting squashed into the pizza. But it's amazing that someone thought of that, probably after a few joints and a beers.