You are so beautiful cute. At 6 years old. I was wondering about my 401K and about how I probably have to work until I die. EDIT: I did start going to college at 15 so....
Holy shit that was so accurate once when I was in grade 1 I didn't know the Roman numerals and my school had those to denote classes and bro i didn't sleep for two nights worrying about what will i do after 3rd grade how will i find fourth grade😂
No, but I did start thinking I was the only adult in the room at that age. My parents incompetence was a constant disappointment to me from that point on.
That was my thought from summer this year, I'm 23. It's a thought that changes how you see the world and everything becomes so much clearer. I stopped worrying so much when I realised this. Its not "omg why why would they do that 😭" anymore but rather "what a fu*king kiddo, has so much to learn in that field 😐 But its not my role to educate, the world will surely do it"
I had that realization in my early twenties. I'm in my mid thirties now and I don't think that is true anymore. Most adults are probably large children but some have actually been taught how to self-regulate and all the other things that come with adulting as children and some are teaching themselves that as adults but I'd say it's definitely a minority. Most people didn't grow up securely attached and only some will go through the process of reparenting themselves.
As an INFJ kid, i read my mum's parenting books to make sure I wasn't falling behind on growing up. i actually made a plan to run away from home, not because there was anything wrong at home, but because i thought it would be an essential developmental experience for me as a teenager 🙃
I used to tell my mother her meals were not nutritious enough based on what I learned. You can imagine how that went over. Anyway, can relate. Read alot.
I wish I thought of this... but then again I grew up in the country side so there wasn't many places to go *realizes that was probably by design* ..... ohhhh.... *realizes that as an adult I still can't get away....o.h... *George Carlin shrug gif* -INTP... 👀 oh wait I'm an INTP that's why. It wasn't a parental conspiracy after all.
My mom used to unload on me about her worries with my younger brother failing out of school. He’s only 1.5 years younger than me. “I don’t know, mom! I’m trying to figure this stuff out myself!”
My INFJ childhood weirdness: At 3, I realized grownups didn’t remember being toddlers. So every night, before bed, I remembered my toddlerhood memories like flash cards. I was so careful to be accurate. I am almost 50. I still remember learning to walk. I remember sitting in my high chair and crying because I couldn’t talk. It worked!
That sounds kinda cool, depending on how that time actually was for you, of course, because I don't even really remember stuff from when I was 7 or 8 years old (am 21 at the moment) so before that age I have only a few specific memories and a general picture of my souroundings without any details; but if you really activly recalled past events, it maked sense that you were able to remember them longterm
I love this! I remember as a kid realizing that all my peers were so eager to grow up and I determined that I was not. I valued that childhood was a temporary stage (and life only gets harder.)
Wow! You sound like a genius. I am NOT being sarcastic. I remember a lot from my childhood, but not learning to walk. Wish I did because those memories would be very unique.
INJT and INFJ children are short adults, but no one listens to us because we are kids. You don't know how many times I heard people say "The kid told you this would happen..." 😂
This made me feel less weird about the kinda kid I was. My mom says I was never a real child. I do recall several conversations we had when I was young where I told her, “I don’t like kids. They’re slow. Why are they always yelling and doing dumb things?” Years later when she told me in a few years, I’d be a teenager, I simply replied, “No. I’ll never be one of them.” 😊 I remember the frustration of being a minor and thus, lacking the autonomy to pick my own environment. I thought I just couldn’t stand other people but once I moved out, I realized I was mostly being forced to spend time with the kinda people who caused me stress. I think all INFJs need to carefully craft our environments in order to actually feel like we are in balance.
Ooo, that rang very true. My uncle says I was born middle aged, and when I thought about it after I grew up, I had to agree. I never did the typical kid things or the typical teen things, and either wanted to be by myself or else around some adults since they tended were more interesting and less loud and annoying. (It was a bit of a shock the first time I had to deal with an adult who was both loud and annoying when I was about 10 ^^;).
I'm an INFP but I relate hardcore to the first thing you wrote. Becoming a mom was what made me realize that I was never truly a child. My youngest is a baby, so it remains to be seen what he is like, but my older two are pretty typical kids and so are all their friends. The whole experience has caused me to have more compassion for myself and to be more patient with others at the same time. However, I also think kids are under-estimated in what they are capable of and what they can understand. Regardless of the natural disposition of a child, I think higher (though of course still reasonable!) intellectual and behavioral standards are better than average or what is deemed "realistic." Kids will often surprise you if you give them opportunities for greatness.
As a child, I noticed more and it bothered me more when adults did unfair things. For instance, in 3rd grade a substitute teacher made us lose 5 minutes of recess if we asked to use the bathroom.
😂 a substitute teacher tried it on me,but I said okay, I neeeeeeed to use the bathroom still..... I went outside after the bathroom and played around for several minutes before I came back inside 😂😂 so I didn't really lose playtime 😂😂
I noticed I constantly had teachers who didn’t like me all through school! They were either rooting for me (I think I can count them one one hand) or against me….need more than one hand for that.
The built-in conversation simulator is such a great thing! I can talk to anyone and kniw what they would tell me without saying things out loud and burdening people with my issues! Well, except that the more I use it the more I disconnect from the sensible world and I start imagine people different than they truly are. So don't linger too much in your Ni and go externalize thing with Fe&Se or there would be consequenses 😅
My favorite was the swings. I could swing the whole recess without anyone bothering me OR anyone thinking I wasn't playing. My other main option was sitting with the teacher and talking. Kids were not my style. 😂
Helping our parents get more time...that was good! I became acutely aware of time going faster when I was 9 or 10!I love the part about playing "near" the other kids on the playground, so your mom will think you have friends. We were definitely "strange" kids, and some of us are still "strange." 🤣 Thanks, Frank.
INFJ's were different as children in the late 60's, early 70's- so I could only resonate a little. never truly a "child" for sure, and responsible for fixing everyone.
@Baci321 we spent all day outdoors-we were literally tossed out lol we grew up pretty feral-no indoor stuff at all like the INFJs have now. We were responsible for our "tribe" ( the band of children in our neighborhood who also spent all day outside until the streetlights came on, that we rummaged the area with) and their issues. Our parents were very far detached-no emotional connection, or very little- we had to know how to "navigate" them and "handle" their issues, or we would be severely punished. we were never to put forth our own "issues"-but we knew how to expertly handle everyone else's. Gen X-feral and insightful.
1:12 Worrying about further education when you're young is so true 😅 Once at school, someone stole my classmate's mobile phone. The police came and threatened us that if the phone was not returned to the owner, the police would write “thief” in every student's file, and we would not be accepted to college with such a record. Afterward, I cried while my friends comforted me, because I thought my life was over at that point. I remember the feeling of terrible injustice, because some unscrupulous student had deprived me of my future. I was 10 years old 😂😂😂
This just reminded me that someone stole my lunch out of my lunchbox (kept in the classroom) in elementary school, and nothing happened. No one admitted to it. And no threats were made. Surely there's a middle ground. 😢
I never skipped Dr. Phil episodes as a kid after school, keeping track of all the toxic patterns people fall into in their upbringing so I could jump straight to a stress-free adulthood. 💀
I'll just play near them to give the illusion that I am interacting as a normal child. Because...expectations. When in reality, I am enjoying my own company and unknowingly becoming overwhelmed by the energy around me. Which will then cause me to withdraw into hermit mode, while I continue to appear as if I am physically/mentally present. My parents at some point will realize I haven't said a word in over a week. They will say something to get a conversation going, and I in turn will say something that apparently makes me sound "old". My father will stare in bemusement and my mom will say "Why are you so old?". It will again remind me as to why I keep my true thoughts to myself.🤷🏽♀️
Same. My mom says I never minded my time before I had sisters, because I was just happy in my own company. Thankfully the few kids she encouraged me to be around, I didn't have to be with much and some were chill. I made a few introverted friends which helped. But I've never minded being alone. Thanks for sharing this so we know we're not alone.
I'm an INFJ, and ever since I discovered your channel, I've been binge-watching all the videos for hours. Every time I watch an MBTI video, I skip straight to the end because I know INFJs are almost always last 😂 Everything is so relatable! You made my day, keep up the good work!!🧡
Wow...some of those were too accurate. Like waking up MY PARENTS!?!? I can't imagine EVER doing that except as an infant who is not conscious of his own existence. I don't state that to say INFJ's are better than "normal" kids. In fact, just the opposite; I think not having the "guts" (for lack of a better word) to pursue our own ambitions while still respecting other's is one of our (at least one of mine) biggest weaknesses. Realizing that there is nothing wrong with having wants and expressing those has really improved me as a person. I had almost convinced myself that I didn't have true desires [but I did and I think everyone does deep down] and I'm so glad I embraced those, started sharing them with the people that can help me achieve them, and becoming a more complete person.
I was born in ‘62 and I don’t think the average parents at that time were tuned in to their kids enough to know how to make an INFJ child feel seen and heard. We were the low maintenance kids who stayed out of trouble and entertained ourselves , usually with books or TV. These days it would also be with video games or something online. I had a friend who was a counselor who told me about the roles different kids play (by their own choice or otherwise - it’s not on a conscious level) in some families. The last one on the list she showed me was the lost child, which I described earlier. As soon as I saw it I knew that was me. It probably didn’t help that I was the third and youngest child, with a brother and sister who were 3-4 years older than me. I was almost forty when my mom said something that made me realize I had spent my whole life hearing her say things like, “Oh, don’t say that.” “You don’t mean that.” “You don’t think that.” “You don’t want that.” “You wouldn’t like that.” Up until that time I thought that I had never been good at expressing my thoughts and feelings but then I realized that I had tried to over the years, only to have my mother (and maybe sometimes my father) negate what I said. Basically she sent me out into the world convinced that I was too incompetent to even know what I was thinking or feeling, so how could I possibly succeed in life? And once again I’ve written a novella! Thanks for listening (okay, reading) if you made it this far.
@terri2494 The first paragraph is very relatable; by the grace of God, not the second paragraph. I am the youngest of five, spaced off eight years from my closest sibling. My only brother is the oldest child at 16 years older than me. Because I am the youngest, they always made it clear that I would have to be the one to come to them if there was some event or activity that I wanted to do. They were tired of being the driving force behind road trips, sporting events, etc. when it was clear that my older siblings had little to no appreciation for these things. You could chalk it all up to them getting old and cranky, but I would say they increased in wisdom. As the child observing the more adult events of my siblings, I often noted how much they had done, for seemingly no benefit for my siblings. So no, it wasn't them being selfish and tired in their old(er) age. However, it was much harder for me to see and appreciate their actions when they were doing things for me. It was easy for me to think that because I had been a "good kid" I "deserved" whatever they did for me. If anyone reading this sees similarities in themselves, let me tell you this: An attitude of entitlement will destroy every facet of your life. Eliminate these thoughts as quickly as you can. It is never too late to change, but it does get harder to change. For some reason, despite them continually encouraging me to share my vision for my life with them, I always felt afraid. I thought it was "wrong." Another piece of advice: You can only learn by sharing your thoughts and discussing what is right and what is wrong with them. It has taken me 17 years to even begin to understand that, and trust me, that is too long. I appreciate your reply, and I'm sorry that I responded with a novella of my own. I am very sorry to hear that your parents were not as supportive as mine. I have only grown in appreciation for mine while at college. However, I do believe it is a dangerous thing to be ungrateful for what you have. (Not saying that you are, but I have witnessed firsthand that the responsibility lies with every person eventually).
@@terri2494 I had a lot of similar experiences with a twist. I’ve also determined that I’m the lost child. My brother is the golden child. His every need was catered to where my mom would throw books and art supplies at me because I could entertain myself. How much of that was by necessity? I used to hear a lot about how I’m “so sensitive.” But not in a positive way. I worry too much. But my parents didn’t provide me with a feeling of security and safety. It all wears on you after a while - this persistent subtle tearing down of you as a person so you don’t feel good enough.
@@kyerinn Yeah, I heard “You’re too sensitive” a lot. That was one of the ways they tried to correct me. ME. Not my behavior or attitude. I don’t think they ever had a clue that they were attacking my actual personality, nor did it occur to them that God made me that way for a reason. The world needs people like us, even if we’re a small minority. I think that criticism is why I relate to your not feeling safe and secure, or good enough. Even when I went out into the world I had people telling me to stop “doing that” or “being that way” - but they couldn’t tell me what I was doing wrong. (I did eventually figure out that some of what I was doing wrong was because I learned my social skills, or lack thereof, from my family!) I was in my mid thirties when someone told me that when you turn forty you stop worrying about what people think of you. Thank God she was right!
My parents say I was the opposite of an introvert as a kid, but I think it was because none of us understood how much alone time I needed to be calm and normal (for an INFJ child)
"Hey Dad what was the saddest day of your life?" Feel wayyyy too called out for asking my parents these deep questions. I am surprised they didn't go to therapy. Lmao. ❤😂 Thank you Frank James.
As an INFJ child, I loved sleep!!! I was always the party pooper at sleepovers because I was trying to convince everyone why sleep is important. One girl kept me up until sunrise once... I still think about it. She just wouldn't stop talking. It was a nightmare
@@MehnajBarbhuiya-yh9lg there was an interview with Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper (both lost parents as kids) and Colbert said: "For me, losing my dad then, it changed the trajectory of my life. I'm a different person than I feel like I was meant to be." That really resonated with me because I too lost a father at 14.
@@vicious.but.romantic And I think I'm an INFJ because my Father is still living 😂 (nothing like I want him to be dead or something. I love him but...our relationship was and is not something that could be maintained). Anyway, do you feel gifted to be an INFJ or do you ever desire to be some other personality? (You can answer only if you want to ☺️).
My boyfriend is an INFJ and he will have a conversation in his head where he just plays his and my answers, then he'll tell me the conclusion. So... accurate, I guess 🤣
For real. I started having nightmares after watching the Lion King. It made me realize that that little voice telling me that my parents will one day die explode. And my main motivator to drag myself to school was for that my parents wouldn't be arrested. Hating it as I counted the years I had to endure since first grade.
I feel you on lion king. I got the same feeling watching Bambi when the mother was killed and Bambi was left all alone to fend for herself. I felt every emotion and it hit me that something like that could happen to me and one day something would happen to my parents. That was really traumatizing
I grew up on a farm, it was the most peaceful place. All I needed was the quiet and the animals, I was content. Broke my heart literally when we moved, I cried day and night even in my sleep.
I was wondering why I wasn’t a INFJ kid. It’s because I’m Gen X. Parents weren’t great with philosophical questions- or talking to me at all. You’re going outside. I don’t care what you do, but quit opening & closing the door. I went outside & read books.
As a fellow Gen Xer, I did the whole “outside on bikes with the playing card in the spokes and come home at dusk” thing. But as a teenager, I was given some reprieve so I could actually stay inside! In my room with my books and my art and music and leaving my parents alone.
I remember my friend’s parents putting me in charge of the entire group when we went out to play, all the while questioning it in my mind 1:44 and knowing it wasn’t going to end well, because I was the oldest only by a couple of months.
Mom put me in charge of her second grade class on field day once. The whole time walking to the site we were supposed to play bat the ball, I was hoping no one would get hurt. Yeah… didn’t take long.
One time in kindergarten one of the other kid’s moms asked me to make sure her son made it across the busy street safely to the bus stop every day. I still remember that and hope he’s doing alright. -INFJ
I never connected my being the playground mediator with also being INFJ before. Wow. I feel like my brain just imploded. 😂😂 But I did LOVE going outside, so I guess I lose some INFJ points for that. 😉
As an INFJ, I can confirm that my life is similar, but less depressing. “Can’t wait to go to the playground and see some kids that my mom thinks I’m friends with!” hit hard
Your forgot to include the part where the introvert is weirded out by the fact that the kid is screaming for no reason at all. At least that’s how I was when I was little. 😆
Ahh yes. Reminds me of how my family would describe me as simply “an old soul”. My mother had no other explanation when she saw me preferring to stay inside and read her Stephen King and Dean Koontz books at the age of 6 vs going outside. 😂
0:33 this has happened to me so many times. Even after imaginary friend stages stopped… then it was between real people- I miss the imaginary friend conflicts. Way easier. Usually just a lot of projections
Lol! This is causing flashbacks! Frank, how about parents who never knew how to parent us INFJs? I would love to see your take on that. Awesome as always 💯‼️🫶🏿😂
1:38 lol yeah this is actually a lot of fun, still do this from time to time. Like I don’t wanna bother people but it’s nice to sorta spiral through that
As an INTP I'm totally with the kid about going outside... Even as an adult too. I went out 2 days ago and wouldn't go out again today except for a doctor's appointment. Ugh, Doctors. 😂
lol When my siblings and I were children my West Indian mother would shut the "why?" down quickly. If we asked "why" too many times she'd say, "Why has a long tale/tail" and just walk away. 😂 😂
there were a couple of parks i liked to go to, as they had great equipment. one had a joe 90 climbing frame (i was the only kid that knew joe 90 as i watched lots of tv) which i just sat in pretending to be joe 90, but it also had a massive slide. one had a witches hat and one an American swing, both required at least 4 kids and cooperation (so i did play with other kids sometimes) both banned when i was about 10
This video was spot on. Very reminiscent of a lot of INFJ childhoods by the sound of the comments (including mine.) The last bit tho with the internal conversation was a perfect ending. 😆
I still retain a core memory from when I was 5. My grandmother was walking me to the store and we ran into some woman she knew. My grandmother introduced me and the woman did the whole baby-voice "aren't you cute?" thing. I purposely didn't respond to her and I distinctly remember thinking how condescending she was. Like, literally, at 5 years old my internal monologue said "why is she being so condescending? I'm obviously not a baby." I think I got that attitude directly from my grandmother; she was the passive-aggressive sassy type.
I still remember my first day of school at 5 yrs old. My dad dropped me off and I asked him how long would I have to be doing this school thing and he said until I’m 18. I remember later that day the class room was acting bad so everyone got punished and we had to walk around the playground while everyone else had fun. I immediately thought to myself, wow so this is how life is gonna be until I’m 18? And why do these other kids look so happy, do they not know? 😂
One of my friend’s kids was a “why-mongerer” and you could get him by saying “I just explained why. You aren’t listening.” He’d get this look on his face over the moral dilemma of not listening 😂
Anyone else start worrying about college majors at the age of 6? ... Just me?
You are so beautiful cute. At 6 years old. I was wondering about my 401K and about how I probably have to work until I die.
EDIT: I did start going to college at 15 so....
Honestly I didn't really spend more than hour thinking about this. I just said "I like this" so I started studying it
I chose Astrophysics when I was 5 years old. 13 years later and I've just started my physics MSc in this subject 😅
Holy shit that was so accurate once when I was in grade 1 I didn't know the Roman numerals and my school had those to denote classes and bro i didn't sleep for two nights worrying about what will i do after 3rd grade how will i find fourth grade😂
No, but I did start thinking I was the only adult in the room at that age. My parents incompetence was a constant disappointment to me from that point on.
The INFJ defining moment is when we realize adults are just large children.
Well said
It's disappointing and terrifying.
That was my thought from summer this year, I'm 23. It's a thought that changes how you see the world and everything becomes so much clearer. I stopped worrying so much when I realised this. Its not "omg why why would they do that 😭" anymore but rather "what a fu*king kiddo, has so much to learn in that field 😐 But its not my role to educate, the world will surely do it"
I had that realization in my early twenties. I'm in my mid thirties now and I don't think that is true anymore. Most adults are probably large children but some have actually been taught how to self-regulate and all the other things that come with adulting as children and some are teaching themselves that as adults but I'd say it's definitely a minority. Most people didn't grow up securely attached and only some will go through the process of reparenting themselves.
@@alllscination I noticed at 11. 44 years later I am sad to say it still seems accurate. 🤷🏼♂️
As an INFJ kid, i read my mum's parenting books to make sure I wasn't falling behind on growing up. i actually made a plan to run away from home, not because there was anything wrong at home, but because i thought it would be an essential developmental experience for me as a teenager 🙃
Oh lord, I can relate waaay too well to this.
I used to tell my mother her meals were not nutritious enough based on what I learned. You can imagine how that went over. Anyway, can relate. Read alot.
I wish I thought of this... but then again I grew up in the country side so there wasn't many places to go *realizes that was probably by design* ..... ohhhh.... *realizes that as an adult I still can't get away....o.h... *George Carlin shrug gif*
-INTP... 👀
oh wait I'm an INTP that's why. It wasn't a parental conspiracy after all.
Yep, you're INFJ for sure. Being prepared for anything is a necessity.
The most INFJ thing a kid could ever do or think of 😂
"Outside? But I went outside three days ago!" yeah that's my reaction too 😔
same
100%
My little brother hates the great outdoors. He's an INFJ
So true XD
also, love your username and pfp :)
@@SlipsunLightOfHeaven aww ty :D
That hit a nerve
You forgot playing counselor to the adults in your life... Why did we think that was our responsibility?
I feel like our souls know no age
My mom used to unload on me about her worries with my younger brother failing out of school. He’s only 1.5 years younger than me.
“I don’t know, mom! I’m trying to figure this stuff out myself!”
yea true
We always be wise sages 😂
so true
"go outside? but i went outside 3 days ago! and im still recovering from that experience"
you had zero reasons to call me out like that mr frank
As well as the playground part 😂😢
As well as the playground part. 😂😢
“I’m playing up a conversation in my mind”
INFJ’s Mum: and here we go again
My INFJ childhood weirdness:
At 3, I realized grownups didn’t remember being toddlers.
So every night, before bed, I remembered my toddlerhood memories like flash cards. I was so careful to be accurate.
I am almost 50. I still remember learning to walk. I remember sitting in my high chair and crying because I couldn’t talk. It worked!
That sounds kinda cool, depending on how that time actually was for you, of course, because I don't even really remember stuff from when I was 7 or 8 years old (am 21 at the moment) so before that age I have only a few specific memories and a general picture of my souroundings without any details; but if you really activly recalled past events, it maked sense that you were able to remember them longterm
What? That's insane, and I love it.
I love this! I remember as a kid realizing that all my peers were so eager to grow up and I determined that I was not. I valued that childhood was a temporary stage (and life only gets harder.)
OK. I'm jealous. I wish I'd thought of that.
Wow! You sound like a genius. I am NOT being sarcastic. I remember a lot from my childhood, but not learning to walk. Wish I did because those memories would be very unique.
INJT and INFJ children are short adults, but no one listens to us because we are kids. You don't know how many times I heard people say "The kid told you this would happen..." 😂
WALLAH that's true
Honestly this is why I love being an adult. I am finally given credence.
@@Nerdy-By-Nature and freedom!
@@carrieconner2021 yes!!
What is INJT?
Parent: what was the best part of spending time with your “friends?”
INFJ Kid: when you picked me up so I could leave
This made me feel less weird about the kinda kid I was. My mom says I was never a real child. I do recall several conversations we had when I was young where I told her, “I don’t like kids. They’re slow. Why are they always yelling and doing dumb things?”
Years later when she told me in a few years, I’d be a teenager, I simply replied, “No. I’ll never be one of them.” 😊 I remember the frustration of being a minor and thus, lacking the autonomy to pick my own environment. I thought I just couldn’t stand other people but once I moved out, I realized I was mostly being forced to spend time with the kinda people who caused me stress.
I think all INFJs need to carefully craft our environments in order to actually feel like we are in balance.
Yo, same!
Ooo, that rang very true. My uncle says I was born middle aged, and when I thought about it after I grew up, I had to agree. I never did the typical kid things or the typical teen things, and either wanted to be by myself or else around some adults since they tended were more interesting and less loud and annoying. (It was a bit of a shock the first time I had to deal with an adult who was both loud and annoying when I was about 10 ^^;).
I'm an INFP but I relate hardcore to the first thing you wrote.
Becoming a mom was what made me realize that I was never truly a child. My youngest is a baby, so it remains to be seen what he is like, but my older two are pretty typical kids and so are all their friends. The whole experience has caused me to have more compassion for myself and to be more patient with others at the same time. However, I also think kids are under-estimated in what they are capable of and what they can understand. Regardless of the natural disposition of a child, I think higher (though of course still reasonable!) intellectual and behavioral standards are better than average or what is deemed "realistic." Kids will often surprise you if you give them opportunities for greatness.
I told my mom kids are noisy. I was 11. 🤦♀️
To feel balanced AND to feel like we belong. Because that part is problematic fr
As a child, I noticed more and it bothered me more when adults did unfair things. For instance, in 3rd grade a substitute teacher made us lose 5 minutes of recess if we asked to use the bathroom.
😂 a substitute teacher tried it on me,but I said okay, I neeeeeeed to use the bathroom still..... I went outside after the bathroom and played around for several minutes before I came back inside 😂😂 so I didn't really lose playtime 😂😂
I noticed I constantly had teachers who didn’t like me all through school! They were either rooting for me (I think I can count them one one hand) or against me….need more than one hand for that.
The last one with the conversation inside INFJ child's head, so accurate. I'm still having it 😅😂
The built-in conversation simulator is such a great thing! I can talk to anyone and kniw what they would tell me without saying things out loud and burdening people with my issues! Well, except that the more I use it the more I disconnect from the sensible world and I start imagine people different than they truly are. So don't linger too much in your Ni and go externalize thing with Fe&Se or there would be consequenses 😅
So true.
Real!
Literally me😂
Thank you for this piece of advice, I definitely needed to hear that 🙏
My favorite was the swings. I could swing the whole recess without anyone bothering me OR anyone thinking I wasn't playing. My other main option was sitting with the teacher and talking. Kids were not my style. 😂
So noisy and unpredicable! lol
Fellow kids tended to be pretty boring… I would totally prefer talking to my favorite teacher.
As an INFJ I can relate 😅
Right. I LOVE the swings, still do. It's so nice and you got to fake being normal.
The pretending to play with other kids got me. 😂😂😂 I didn't know why that was so important.
As an INFJ, if somebody from my family asked me to do something, I would happily and confusingly go along! This is too real while you grow up 🙃
Helping our parents get more time...that was good! I became acutely aware of time going faster when I was 9 or 10!I love the part about playing "near" the other kids on the playground, so your mom will think you have friends. We were definitely "strange" kids, and some of us are still "strange." 🤣 Thanks, Frank.
haha glad you related!
@ Stephanie
Same on the play near friends
Yes,, 10 or 12, for me
It's very funny when you know INFPs and ENFPs value and make some effort to appear unique when INFJs don't care and are just naturally weird 😂.
@@kyurei4478 🤣 🙌
Love the last one...playing out the whole conversation in my head. Yup. Sounds about right.
Been doing that for almost 70 years. Believe me, it gets old.
INFJ's were different as children in the late 60's, early 70's- so I could only resonate a little. never truly a "child" for sure, and responsible for fixing everyone.
@Baci321 we spent all day outdoors-we were literally tossed out lol we grew up pretty feral-no indoor stuff at all like the INFJs have now. We were responsible for our "tribe" ( the band of children in our neighborhood who also spent all day outside until the streetlights came on, that we rummaged the area with) and their issues. Our parents were very far detached-no emotional connection, or very little- we had to know how to "navigate" them and "handle" their issues, or we would be severely punished. we were never to put forth our own "issues"-but we knew how to expertly handle everyone else's. Gen X-feral and insightful.
@Baci321 we were the "outdoors" version of INFJ-and we read EVERYTHING philosophical-I read Siddhartha by Hesse at age 9 lol
@Baci321 thank you for asking and caring :)
As an INFJ child I realized I liked adults more than other children.
1:12 Worrying about further education when you're young is so true 😅
Once at school, someone stole my classmate's mobile phone. The police came and threatened us that if the phone was not returned to the owner, the police would write “thief” in every student's file, and we would not be accepted to college with such a record. Afterward, I cried while my friends comforted me, because I thought my life was over at that point. I remember the feeling of terrible injustice, because some unscrupulous student had deprived me of my future. I was 10 years old 😂😂😂
What a horrible thing to say to an innocent child! 😢
This just reminded me that someone stole my lunch out of my lunchbox (kept in the classroom) in elementary school, and nothing happened. No one admitted to it. And no threats were made. Surely there's a middle ground. 😢
now do the whole INFJ family together
Chaos
..........................................this is giving e anxiety
I am, in real life lol. My son, my husband, and I are all INFJ then my daughter is a normie. It's an odd dynamic.
That would be awesome!
The whole "playing near kids that my mom thinks I'm friends with" hit hard here, and I'm an INTJ
I feel like I still do this as an adult.
I never skipped Dr. Phil episodes as a kid after school, keeping track of all the toxic patterns people fall into in their upbringing so I could jump straight to a stress-free adulthood. 💀
I'll just play near them to give the illusion that I am interacting as a normal child. Because...expectations. When in reality, I am enjoying my own company and unknowingly becoming overwhelmed by the energy around me. Which will then cause me to withdraw into hermit mode, while I continue to appear as if I am physically/mentally present. My parents at some point will realize I haven't said a word in over a week. They will say something to get a conversation going, and I in turn will say something that apparently makes me sound "old". My father will stare in bemusement and my mom will say "Why are you so old?". It will again remind me as to why I keep my true thoughts to myself.🤷🏽♀️
My aunties used to come to me for advice on workplace disputes. I'm not joking.
@@mariagordanier3404 I am not surprised!
Same. My mom says I never minded my time before I had sisters, because I was just happy in my own company. Thankfully the few kids she encouraged me to be around, I didn't have to be with much and some were chill. I made a few introverted friends which helped. But I've never minded being alone. Thanks for sharing this so we know we're not alone.
I'm an INFJ, and ever since I discovered your channel, I've been binge-watching all the videos for hours. Every time I watch an MBTI video, I skip straight to the end because I know INFJs are almost always last 😂 Everything is so relatable! You made my day, keep up the good work!!🧡
Wow...some of those were too accurate. Like waking up MY PARENTS!?!? I can't imagine EVER doing that except as an infant who is not conscious of his own existence. I don't state that to say INFJ's are better than "normal" kids. In fact, just the opposite; I think not having the "guts" (for lack of a better word) to pursue our own ambitions while still respecting other's is one of our (at least one of mine) biggest weaknesses. Realizing that there is nothing wrong with having wants and expressing those has really improved me as a person. I had almost convinced myself that I didn't have true desires [but I did and I think everyone does deep down] and I'm so glad I embraced those, started sharing them with the people that can help me achieve them, and becoming a more complete person.
Same!
Great to hear you had you character development too. :D
I was born in ‘62 and I don’t think the average parents at that time were tuned in to their kids enough to know how to make an INFJ child feel seen and heard. We were the low maintenance kids who stayed out of trouble and entertained ourselves , usually with books or TV. These days it would also be with video games or something online. I had a friend who was a counselor who told me about the roles different kids play (by their own choice or otherwise - it’s not on a conscious level) in some families. The last one on the list she showed me was the lost child, which I described earlier. As soon as I saw it I knew that was me. It probably didn’t help that I was the third and youngest child, with a brother and sister who were 3-4 years older than me.
I was almost forty when my mom said something that made me realize I had spent my whole life hearing her say things like, “Oh, don’t say that.” “You don’t mean that.” “You don’t think that.” “You don’t want that.” “You wouldn’t like that.” Up until that time I thought that I had never been good at expressing my thoughts and feelings but then I realized that I had tried to over the years, only to have my mother (and maybe sometimes my father) negate what I said. Basically she sent me out into the world convinced that I was too incompetent to even know what I was thinking or feeling, so how could I possibly succeed in life?
And once again I’ve written a novella! Thanks for listening (okay, reading) if you made it this far.
@terri2494 The first paragraph is very relatable; by the grace of God, not the second paragraph.
I am the youngest of five, spaced off eight years from my closest sibling. My only brother is the oldest child at 16 years older than me. Because I am the youngest, they always made it clear that I would have to be the one to come to them if there was some event or activity that I wanted to do. They were tired of being the driving force behind road trips, sporting events, etc. when it was clear that my older siblings had little to no appreciation for these things. You could chalk it all up to them getting old and cranky, but I would say they increased in wisdom. As the child observing the more adult events of my siblings, I often noted how much they had done, for seemingly no benefit for my siblings. So no, it wasn't them being selfish and tired in their old(er) age. However, it was much harder for me to see and appreciate their actions when they were doing things for me. It was easy for me to think that because I had been a "good kid" I "deserved" whatever they did for me. If anyone reading this sees similarities in themselves, let me tell you this: An attitude of entitlement will destroy every facet of your life. Eliminate these thoughts as quickly as you can. It is never too late to change, but it does get harder to change.
For some reason, despite them continually encouraging me to share my vision for my life with them, I always felt afraid. I thought it was "wrong." Another piece of advice: You can only learn by sharing your thoughts and discussing what is right and what is wrong with them. It has taken me 17 years to even begin to understand that, and trust me, that is too long.
I appreciate your reply, and I'm sorry that I responded with a novella of my own. I am very sorry to hear that your parents were not as supportive as mine. I have only grown in appreciation for mine while at college. However, I do believe it is a dangerous thing to be ungrateful for what you have. (Not saying that you are, but I have witnessed firsthand that the responsibility lies with every person eventually).
@@terri2494 I had a lot of similar experiences with a twist. I’ve also determined that I’m the lost child. My brother is the golden child. His every need was catered to where my mom would throw books and art supplies at me because I could entertain myself. How much of that was by necessity?
I used to hear a lot about how I’m “so sensitive.” But not in a positive way. I worry too much. But my parents didn’t provide me with a feeling of security and safety. It all wears on you after a while - this persistent subtle tearing down of you as a person so you don’t feel good enough.
@@kyerinn Yeah, I heard “You’re too sensitive” a lot. That was one of the ways they tried to correct me. ME. Not my behavior or attitude. I don’t think they ever had a clue that they were attacking my actual personality, nor did it occur to them that God made me that way for a reason. The world needs people like us, even if we’re a small minority. I think that criticism is why I relate to your not feeling safe and secure, or good enough. Even when I went out into the world I had people telling me to stop “doing that” or “being that way” - but they couldn’t tell me what I was doing wrong. (I did eventually figure out that some of what I was doing wrong was because I learned my social skills, or lack thereof, from my family!) I was in my mid thirties when someone told me that when you turn forty you stop worrying about what people think of you. Thank God she was right!
My parents say I was the opposite of an introvert as a kid, but I think it was because none of us understood how much alone time I needed to be calm and normal (for an INFJ child)
"Hey Dad what was the saddest day of your life?"
Feel wayyyy too called out for asking my parents these deep questions. I am surprised they didn't go to therapy. Lmao. ❤😂 Thank you Frank James.
As an INFJ child, I loved sleep!!!
I was always the party pooper at sleepovers because I was trying to convince everyone why sleep is important. One girl kept me up until sunrise once... I still think about it. She just wouldn't stop talking. It was a nightmare
It wasn't a nightmare . . . you were awake!! Haha:) I kid. That's rough:)
I don't think I was an INFJ as a kid. I think trauma changed my personality. 😂
The same here.
Yup 🙋♀️
Questioning my type yet again lol
I too think of this about myself 🤔🤔
@@MehnajBarbhuiya-yh9lg there was an interview with Stephen Colbert and Anderson Cooper (both lost parents as kids) and Colbert said: "For me, losing my dad then, it changed the trajectory of my life. I'm a different person than I feel like I was meant to be."
That really resonated with me because I too lost a father at 14.
@@vicious.but.romantic And I think I'm an INFJ because my Father is still living 😂 (nothing like I want him to be dead or something. I love him but...our relationship was and is not something that could be maintained).
Anyway, do you feel gifted to be an INFJ or do you ever desire to be some other personality? (You can answer only if you want to ☺️).
My boyfriend is an INFJ and he will have a conversation in his head where he just plays his and my answers, then he'll tell me the conclusion. So... accurate, I guess 🤣
protect him at all cost!!!
I didn't know that wasn't what everybody did...
I am the INFJ in my relationship, bf is an ENFP, quite similar in ways
For real. I started having nightmares after watching the Lion King. It made me realize that that little voice telling me that my parents will one day die explode.
And my main motivator to drag myself to school was for that my parents wouldn't be arrested. Hating it as I counted the years I had to endure since first grade.
I feel you on lion king. I got the same feeling watching Bambi when the mother was killed and Bambi was left all alone to fend for herself. I felt every emotion and it hit me that something like that could happen to me and one day something would happen to my parents. That was really traumatizing
I loved going outside. I was very introverted and didn't have friends but I loved talking to adults.
Right. I was best friends with my mom's friends more than people my own age.
Strangers?! Ouf... Could have gone wrong.
@@koellekind no no my neighnors, parents' friends, teachers and my mom was always near, no worry :)
I grew up on a farm, it was the most peaceful place. All I needed was the quiet and the animals, I was content. Broke my heart literally when we moved, I cried day and night even in my sleep.
Great scream! Was that you? Thank you Frank. Why? Why? Why? You obviously have some experience with this.😂
Ha ha no just a screaming sound effect 😱
@@FrankJames You mean...a screaming effect recorded by you. :D
@@FrankJameswe know you don't use any kind of effects in your videos :3
I was wondering why I wasn’t a INFJ kid. It’s because I’m Gen X. Parents weren’t great with philosophical questions- or talking to me at all. You’re going outside. I don’t care what you do, but quit opening & closing the door.
I went outside & read books.
THIS. I'm Gen X and test as an INFJ but this wasn't me at all, lol. No parents there, lots of wandering the streets.
As a fellow Gen Xer, I did the whole “outside on bikes with the playing card in the spokes and come home at dusk” thing. But as a teenager, I was given some reprieve so I could actually stay inside! In my room with my books and my art and music and leaving my parents alone.
Same here but a nineties kid 😊
I remember my friend’s parents putting me in charge of the entire group when we went out to play, all the while questioning it in my mind 1:44 and knowing it wasn’t going to end well, because I was the oldest only by a couple of months.
I was always in charge of my classes lol. Or when we needed someone to watch my cousins and sisters. I feel ya.
Mom put me in charge of her second grade class on field day once. The whole time walking to the site we were supposed to play bat the ball, I was hoping no one would get hurt. Yeah… didn’t take long.
🥇 for playing out every possible scenario and conversation in our head
One time in kindergarten one of the other kid’s moms asked me to make sure her son made it across the busy street safely to the bus stop every day. I still remember that and hope he’s doing alright. -INFJ
apparently as a toddler i asked my parents in the car "why the world had to exist". i don't remember this but it checks out lol
It does. My parents sent me to church indocrination lessons, they did not know what they were unleashing on themselves and the nuns. It made no sense.
I never connected my being the playground mediator with also being INFJ before. Wow. I feel like my brain just imploded. 😂😂
But I did LOVE going outside, so I guess I lose some INFJ points for that. 😉
You were lucky your outside was a good place to be for you! It can be scary af.
As an introverted child myself, I give this video my seal of approve.
As an INFJ, I can confirm that my life is similar, but less depressing.
“Can’t wait to go to the playground and see some kids that my mom thinks I’m friends with!” hit hard
Your forgot to include the part where the introvert is weirded out by the fact that the kid is screaming for no reason at all. At least that’s how I was when I was little. 😆
I had to laugh at the child, not wanting to go outside. My parents called me a house plant for wanting to stay in and read.
he putting on the act that a bunch of kids are your friends when they're not is a literal experience of mine as a kid lol
Thank you for making another INFJ video :)
Ahh yes. Reminds me of how my family would describe me as simply “an old soul”. My mother had no other explanation when she saw me preferring to stay inside and read her Stephen King and Dean Koontz books at the age of 6 vs going outside. 😂
0:33 this has happened to me so many times. Even after imaginary friend stages stopped… then it was between real people- I miss the imaginary friend conflicts. Way easier. Usually just a lot of projections
Having preemptive conversations in my head while the person is right next to me...too real
1:24 Okay I have that done the imaginary/possible conversation in my head with my mom countless times
Lol! This is causing flashbacks! Frank, how about parents who never knew how to parent us INFJs? I would love to see your take on that. Awesome as always 💯‼️🫶🏿😂
I´m ISTJ and I relate more to the INFJ-kid than the normal kid LOL Well done Frank
'Hey, dad, what was the sadest day of your life?' I feel called out as an INFJ 😂
As an INFJ, I was exactly like that as a kid.
as an INFJ kid, i was always told by my mom how serious i always am lol
Welp. Thanks for the flashback down memory lane.
"And ok I'll go to bed." -Infj 2024
I was 7 and occupied most of my time looking for apartments to move out by myself.
My goodness you nailed it- I feel so heard and seen ... *hides under bed* Well done thanks for the work you do to make us all laugh :)
Oh God, the mediation between a kid and his imaginary friend hit WAY too close to home.
The "still asking why" in the head is so accurate!😂
Thanksss for the video. I am an INFP but love watching your video ❤
Normal child VS INTJ child, please!👹
1:38 lol yeah this is actually a lot of fun, still do this from time to time. Like I don’t wanna bother people but it’s nice to sorta spiral through that
I am glad you are back!!!! Keep up Man!
I had a backpack ready just in case my parents disown me. I also planned out where to get a job and how to not die of hunger. I was 4 lol
As an INTP I'm totally with the kid about going outside... Even as an adult too. I went out 2 days ago and wouldn't go out again today except for a doctor's appointment. Ugh, Doctors. 😂
I wonder how many INs are doctor-phobic? I sure am, although I go as needed. My blood pressure goes off .
they say a child's come to town; they call him mr. frank james
“I’m playing out a conversation in my mind where I just keep saying why to everything that you say.”
That is, as an INFJ, the most INFJ thing ever.
0:18 I'm laughing so hard because I have actually asked my mother what was the saddest day of her life. She didn't like that😂
I went outside to get away from people lol
This reminded me of the time I asked my mother "how does it feel like to know you have finished half of your life?" on her 50th birthday 🤣
Lucky would be the correct answer to that question.
I remember being 5 or 6 and having the epiphany that I was not like my siblings or other kids.
I remember it too. And I still feel the same way as an adult.
I had more conversations with the other kids' parents than the kids.
lol When my siblings and I were children my West Indian mother would shut the "why?" down quickly. If we asked "why" too many times she'd say, "Why has a long tale/tail" and just walk away. 😂 😂
You forgot the part where we critique our parents on not disciplining us enough. 😆
I was nothing like that, but, as with everything else, I'm not even like a typical INFJ....😂😂😂
I’m an ISFJ, but can still totally relate to this. Great job, Frank!😊😊
Me, too
These comments are so relatable. I'm relieved to hear that other people were like this too lol.
wow, INFJ is a perfect child.
I'm an INFJ and 80 next birthday but this was\is me. 😂
As a supposed INFJ, I don't know if I can relate.
0:55 realest thing on Earth oh my goodness 😔
there were a couple of parks i liked to go to, as they had great equipment. one had a joe 90 climbing frame (i was the only kid that knew joe 90 as i watched lots of tv) which i just sat in pretending to be joe 90, but it also had a massive slide. one had a witches hat and one an American swing, both required at least 4 kids and cooperation (so i did play with other kids sometimes) both banned when i was about 10
Side note your portrayal of normal kids is adorable and accurate 😂
I like the fact we aren’t considered normal! 😂
This video was spot on. Very reminiscent of a lot of INFJ childhoods by the sound of the comments (including mine.) The last bit tho with the internal conversation was a perfect ending. 😆
Im literally INFJ and this sums my personality up and child in 1 minute and 46 seconds
Great video!! Do INTJ next🙏🏻
Know I understand why I never felt like a child 😢
I still retain a core memory from when I was 5. My grandmother was walking me to the store and we ran into some woman she knew. My grandmother introduced me and the woman did the whole baby-voice "aren't you cute?" thing. I purposely didn't respond to her and I distinctly remember thinking how condescending she was. Like, literally, at 5 years old my internal monologue said "why is she being so condescending? I'm obviously not a baby." I think I got that attitude directly from my grandmother; she was the passive-aggressive sassy type.
I was so traumatized being outside with other kids. I just wanted to play on my own! And I'm INTJ, I hated how ridiculous everyone acted 😂
I still remember my first day of school at 5 yrs old. My dad dropped me off and I asked him how long would I have to be doing this school thing and he said until I’m 18. I remember later that day the class room was acting bad so everyone got punished and we had to walk around the playground while everyone else had fun. I immediately thought to myself, wow so this is how life is gonna be until I’m 18? And why do these other kids look so happy, do they not know? 😂
Haha the part of “go hang out with kids that my mom thinks I’m friends with and pretend to hang out with them” is exactly what I do😅
Yes except for not going outside
That was disturbingly accurate.
One of my friend’s kids was a “why-mongerer” and you could get him by saying “I just explained why. You aren’t listening.” He’d get this look on his face over the moral dilemma of not listening 😂
As an INFJ/INTJ, I sooooo relate. OUTSIDE? No, thank you. Its too peopley out there.
The last one is absolutly exactly that. Being in your head and knowing despite it that you're right.
I'm literally INFJ child lol