What Happens To A Relationship Once The Limerence Stage Is Over | Relearning Relationship
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2020
- What Happens To A relationship after the limerence stage is over?
Does it last? Or does it end In a break up?
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Real relationships are not perfect, and perfect relationships are not real. Wow 😍, great quote
This is so clear to me. This is why I go so slow with relationships
Best thing to do!
My husband and friend for 28 YEARS dumped me for a woman who has been around him for less than 3 months!
It's like he's a totally different person, who doesn't care about anything but her!
She's actually texting me and telling me how much sex they're having calling me stupid and pathetic!
I've never even met her and because of the way they started their relationship 🙄 DESTROYED his reputation and her's was already in the gutter!
I told him that a relationship birthed from LIES and the ashes of betrayal can't survive honesty and the light of day 😶....
I’m terribly sorry to hear that Calin. May the lord be close to you in your time of need.
It breaks my heart to read this. I hope you find peace. You’re a good woman!
I’m happy to hear you’ve stayed true to yourself and strong
@@RelearningRelationships Thank you for your kind reply 🤗❤️ It's incredibly painful, but I know it's temporary and will get better in time, and I keep reminding myself that, on the really hard days!❣️
I also remind myself the pain is deep as is/was my love and I'd be even more sad if it doesn't hurt! Because that would mean I was in a place that wasn't meant for me.
@@CruzyThaMan Thank you 💗 I sincerely appreciate your kindness and encouragement because even though I have never met you, your words still help and I really do appreciate your kindness!❤️
M in the same place too and that immoral homewrecker who thinks she has the upper hand as she is almost 20 yrs younger than that unfaithful man ,dared texting me harmful words like pathetic, loser, old hag , I can suffer all I want as it doesn't affect them etc , trying to harm me . Totally disappointed with that man , my kids too cut ties with him. And I believe with such a woman with him, he is not gg to be happy for long. That woman can laugh at me now but let's see who will get the last laugh.
Thats one of the reasons rebounds tend to end as well
Dude after all the hundreds of videos I've seen you finally got my experience down pact!!!!!! She put me through pure hell!!! I was contemplating everything sucide, depression, drinking, emotional issues,lost of weight!!! OMG!!!
I’m sorry to hear that Nathan. I hope you’re doing much better now
Same here brother. Stay up. I’m finally starting to see the past in my rear view mirrors 6 mo later
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,/ got help from a great man
So true, my husband is in limerence with a narcissist he met on an affair sight. He sees no wrong in her. It's crazy!
WOW. this is so spot on! clearly explained what i went through all my life with the various LO’s i had since middle school.
Great video coach.👌💯
I wish I knew about limerance earlier, and its effects.
Many like myself still look back into that limerance stage and base the relationship only off that stage. We do also ignore red flags and let things slip by.
The ending of limerance really shows whether this person is right for you or not.
Explains why cheating and monkey branching happens after that stage.
All makes perfect sense!
My husband still cheated on me the first time while we were still in limerance. Nothing wrong with our relationship up until that point. We were fairly newly married. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He cheated/ monkey branched 10yrs later with the coworker. This time I left him and will get divorced.
You know what's funny, when limerance starts to wear off after someone monkeycheats on you, and you start to see all the red flags that they were clearly showing, and you start to wonder why you didn't just break this relationship off 3 years ago? The future I had envisioned clearly was all in my head. I feel totally disillusioned!
Hi
Thanks for sharing. A great message that we all can learn from.
Infact I only discovered this terminology yesterday!! Been looking back daily ( very frustrating) over the last 18 months about the whys, who,s etc over the failed relationship. Obvious red flags, obsession, Infatuation etc etc from the onset.. It ended by me, then total silence in a ghosting type scenario! Tried to say goodbye with a hopeful equality of a hug and a goodbye. Total silence. Can't even get my old few personal belongings back just to find that closure.
Limerence is a word that I'll never forget.
To get that is very painful. Silence. No answets and avoidance. Got this myself and i have to dealcwith her over the child we had together.
You possess very impressive knowledge for such a young person. It’s rare when a person as young as you has figured out the basic fundamentals of men/women relationships, especially initial romantic relationships, and the absolute importance of both people in a relationship improving themselves to the best of their ability in all ways, physically, mentally, and spiritually, to evolve into the best version of themselves.
Thank you so much for all this information I’m in the situation right now.
It ends when you fail to keep the consistency going
This video is great
Thanks
Ur Amazing!!! Ty
There is not limerence stage on a relationship because there is no relationship at all. It is all fantasy. Limerence is like the stage of infatuation on a relationship (where 2 people correspond to each other) but it is not mere infatuation it is an obsession about someone who doesn't reciprocate, who sometimes doesn't even give a damn or we have not even physically met.
Real relationships are Just like a wallet, sometimes it's full and other times its empty. And that's normal ☺️
sometimes we receive and sometimes we just give
Good information
I've become more spiritually aware after meeting my limerant object. Ive used it to heal myself but i still imagine stuff and it triggers my anxiety. Im ready to let go that person. Should i let go?
Hello I'm so excited my relationship was fixed back again my ex is back to me we loving and happily together,/ got help from a great man
Romeo and julia were in limerence so they died
😂😂😂
Can limerence last as long as almost the entirety of the relationship, 2-3yrs? I think so, my last relationship there was a lack of acceptance the whole time. When the down comes, they only affirmed the doubt. Lust can overpower so much intuition.
I want to know about how the stages of limerence affect someone that is in a complete delusion over someone that absolutely has not and will not reciprocate. unrequited loved... addicted "love"/limerence. I want more information on that scenario. Are you able to speak to this?
Sure. I can prepare a video about this in the next few weeks or so as I have other content schedules. If you want to learn more don’t shy away from messaging me on Instagram @relearningrelationships
How about the guilt from destroying one relationship to monkey branch into another. I've heard the guilt from what they have lost will eventually catch up with them?
Depends on the person. Either they repent or reap what they sow. Either way; you shouldn’t be concerned with what they do after they discard you. Focus on having an amazing life. It’s actually a blessing that there out of your life! You can now make way to having better people in your life.
❤
Limerence is not lust,right? Limerence is both: lust+fantasy about a person. So, isn't it what we also call infatuation?
Can lust also be described as an experience of "having a crush on someone"?
yes
It is possible the opposite is true: The Limerent is the one with red flags and issues!! And the Limerent Object is the victim!,
What about when a girl wants you so bad and tells you she loves you and never had such strong feelings with any other person in her life before..goes steady with you and has many things in common ( shared values, etc) and then suddenly without any warning dumps the shit out of you?? The chemistry was real, everything felt right. What then? Was that limerence or was it real and she just gave up?? She is the one who wanted to be with me! I don’t get it. In any case, it’s her loss...I am moving on.
There has to be more to it
In those cases it’s almost always an ex involved or someone she lined up behind ur back
Sounds like some cluster b shit...
She found someone else
@@antilaw9911 Don’t care....I found someone better! Plus, she’s already broken up with the other dude.
@@marckeen9601 MY GUYY you made me so fucking happy seeing this follow up reply 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼 I’ve been going through it so unimaginably hard the past year over my ex. Depressed and rock bottom. But lately the healing process has started to give me clarity.. I’ve been at the point where I know I need and want to move on. But too cautions and worried about being blinded and betrayed again. Seeing your message gave me some hope and faith. That what is right around the corner is so much better!! And what I deserve from good karma/ life lessons I’ve been through while staying true to myself. Being hurt by that girl I genuinely loved with all my heart and gave everything.. I’ve learned the red flags and what not to do on my end of the relationship. The next one will pay off from the last one🤞🏼 I now know the value of taking things slow and looking past limerence and always putting yourself first even when in a relationship. Thanks man!
Any update currently how things are going????
In limerence & getting smashed by her limerence dude for 2 years, you the husband is the last thing your wife wants when she comes back to reality.
Why did you marry her? Did you spot any red flags initially ?
@@RelearningRelationships In my case my wife gave me 14 great years, but when she gave birth she went full nutjob with postpartum depression which triggered Borderline Personality Disorder & all kinds of bad behaviors. But yes I must have missed the Red Flags & I have no one to blame but myself. I look at it this way: She sacrificed her mental & physical health to give me an awesome son, and after 20 years of insanity she is just starting to snap out of it & is becoming an affectionate & intimate wife again.
See whats confusing and difficult to deal with is when you start to see things clearly and you see all the red flags, you've realized all the ups and downs through out literal years and both of you still go back to each other.
Things like age difference and parental boundaries are a major factor. Even into adult hood, even tho there is no blood connection, this haze can turn comfort, compassion, parental love and care into endless fantasies. When both of you are by default are insecure and have gone to each other before these feelings and then even after denial... What do you do when both of you always end up back together, without the literal manifestation of the fantasies, relying on each other in many many other ways?
Before I get a ton of hate.
I'm 22 and she's 35, I love my mama she is my world. I'd anything for mama. I want her to take me but she won't, this has consumed my life and mind, she wants me as a son and wants me to be the feely compassionate caring way I am when I am around her and for me to be healthy and independent but all I see is her and the world she won't let me have with her.
It feels like happiness is locked inside of my heart, and mama has the key. What brings the most sadness is I want her to genuinely love me the same way, but I want her to be truly happy, all of this has brought her and I much pain and its my fault. It brings me so much pain that loving me does not make her happy, I mean as partners. She loves me as a parent and due to the joy of us being normal and us finally finding a good person in our lives, we finally felt like there was someone we could trust and let go to. I guess I've felt that in a way more way. I want her to accept me and let me in in every way, with joy and her own heart, to combine the ways we see each other but with earnest want on her part. Without this I have lost most control over my life, my state of mind is shaking, it has been years.
I'll just been cutting myself on angel hair chasing my tail
Mama im sorry for telling all these random people about all these things. Love you
You need to step up and stop treating women like they’re your mother.
A real man leads women.
Develop some standards and build your self esteem.
Kill the effeminate mindset and become masculine
@@RelearningRelationships Also I am sorry but I think i will always have a effeminate way, I am just different I guess. I need to aggressively manifest the other side tho, as you say become a man.
Well man I'm sorry for fucking being broken but ight
No man is born effeminate
Work on your masculinity and bring it out of you.
You need to really think about healing and understating your situation.
You can do it!
There’s nothing wrong with being a caring, kind man.
You need to become assertive, dominant and understand how attraction works.
When a man is affeminate he is either raised without a strong masculine father figure or has grown up around lots of females + feminine men.
I'm in a similar situation. However my ex was younger than me by a lot. We still played and joked like she was my mama, I liked it. I'm sensitive and caring, but have been learning to be more assertive as well. We were in limerence, but did have a lot in common, so even after working on myself and becoming secure and stronger, I still want her back, and think that trying again with a relationship on a better foot would be a good idea. However, she still associates me with pain and doesn't want to repeat it. I want to show her that ive changed, but i dont want to seem desperate, needy, or wanting validation. Having someone like her and her approval and support would be nice, but I dont NEED it. I'll be looking for partners like her, while still having hope. I wont settle, even though I really miss being loved by someone.
Nope
I blame all the Disney movies
Prince rescuing Princess and living happily ever after
I blame love songs and love movies
Its very hard to cone out of it
Its like a drug.
And u need a fix every time
Don't all romantic relationships start like this? Some people call it the 'honeymoon stage'. Is limerence more common in men that are not masculine?
Limerence is common in everyone. The key is to educate yourself, have principales and values and put them above your new “lover”. As long as you are aware of “ honeymoon phase or“ Limerence” you will be able to push past those emotions and slowly build a bond from a place of compatibility, mutual respect and trust, overtime.
To answer your questions: is limerence more common in men that are not masculine?
Yes. This is typically due to having a weak frame of mind, insecurities, lack of boundaries and no purpose in life which leads the man to hyper focus on the woman and fall in “ limerence”.
Masculine men are able to recognise when they are falling in limerence and will quickly regain their emotional centre and take things slowly as they understand that love is something that happens over the course of a few years of consistency, effort and mutual attraction.
@@RelearningRelationships what’s your definition of masculine tho? Would it be more common in people or men who aren’t as sure or at peace with themselves? Because I’ve seen plenty of billy badasses go through it. Masculine but at the time they aren’t at peace or sure of themselves in that moment of time. Insecure people rather than non masculine is the better interpretation I believe
Can you tell if your partner is the one experiencing limerence?
Yes, there are ways to tell.
! I will definitely do a video on this topic and explain this more in detail.
However I will tell you some ways you can tell if your partner is experiencing limerence:
Very sensitive to your words and actions. Appears to hyper fixate on you.
Idealises everything you say and do : puts you on a pedestal and deems you as perfect.
Lusts after you.
Tells you that you are their soulmate despite the fact you have barely known each other. Has a compulsive need to be around or near you and professes they “ cannot live without ex you”. Becomes extremely needy and jealous if you are not spending time together.
Is there an average time for limerence?
Typically 1-3 years within that range. It can vary depending on the person and situation.
@@RelearningRelationships i read that the honeymoon period of a rebound is much shorter, what do you think?
Depends on the situation. Rebounds are temporary and they typically aren’t good quality. Don’t worry what your ex is doing. Stop focusing on That.
Focus on your recovery
That is not limerance. That is infatuation. Very very different. Limerance is one-way, unreciprocated love.
Limerence is infatuation.
@@RelearningRelationships No. It literally is not. You do not know what you are talking about and need to educate yourself. Start by watching any Fenna van den berg video. Your video is incorrect and very dangerous. You're making it seem like limerence is part of the first stage of a relationship. It is not a stage in a relationship - at all. Again - it is one-way, unreciprocated love. These are very different concepts. Limerence is hell.
Limerence is just a fancy word for falling in love/infatuation when you first meet... There's different severities of it. I felt this way with my now boyfriend. Overtime it slowly changed to an attachment to each other. We really got to know each other and passed those stages, we really love each other now. Marriage counselors use the Limerence word to try to convince the betrayed and give them false hopes that the relationship with the affair partner will eventually end. Though sometimes it actually works out with them and becomes a real relationship/ love.
exactly: th-cam.com/video/3nrrt_aQ3mg/w-d-xo.html
As an Armed Security Guard, it happens a lot in my line of work. Good thing I don't fall for those traps because I know it is only Limerence.🤷♂
Not sure I believe in this