THE BUREAU XCOM DECLASSIFIED (Zero Punctuation)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ย. 2013
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews The Bureau: XCOM Declassified.
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I find it funny that the best method to tell if Yahtzee really enjoyed a game is to see if he mentions it in a non derogatory fashion in another review.
The Addiction 2 That said the XCOM review was pretty clearly positive.
The Addiction 2 haha this is actually true most of the time. It's only when he reviews truly shitty games that he starts to realize how good some of the other games he's trashed are.
Brent Blayone Blayone He trashes everything. The only thing he really hasn't is Portal, and that's just because, according to Yahtzee, it has no actual flaws to be trashed on.
The Addiction 2 nah, he nitpicks the games he likes but he doesn't trashes them. He truly liked Dark Souls and WInd Waker forexample,but he nitpicked te fuck out of them too. The games he hates he will trash to hell and back though.
LeonGun8 Prime examples being Amy, Ride to Hell, and the Cartel.
About that bit from the Moon landing:
Wikipedia: Portions of the Apollo 11 mission are dramatized in the HBO mini-series From the Earth to the Moon episode entitled "Mare Tranquilitatis". In that episode, Michael Collins made the following suggestion as to what Armstrong should say upon stepping onto the lunar surface: "If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic."
I would of done it.
"Houston. You just got prank'd."
So long as it wasn't the Ruskies I don't think anyone would have minded.
Zedex 12 should scream either aliens or space commie base and being dragged for execution
wolfbyte3171, Um Houston you know Hitler and that theory that he escaped to the moon. Well you’ll never guess what I’m looking at.
Lol, "Hey dominos? can i get a sandwich but the bread is pizza?"
"Uh-uhm, sure what do you want inside the sandwich?"
"9 pizzas"
"what?"
I will do that one day
SadisticSasquatch Now I know what to ask next time i hit the US for vacations :3
Samuel Watt If you have a spare hundred dollars lying around.. Sure!
***** In new zealand that woul cost you about $40 Usd
***** "Are you trying to remind me of the catastrophy America had to go through at the beggining of the 21'st century?"
I work at Domino's and yes we can do that.
Holly shit.
for real yo?
Can I order one with horse semen and midget dookie as toppings??
I hate to ruin your fun: but 'a sandwich with pizzas instead of bread, and nine pizzas instead of filling' is just 11 pizzas.
+dragonkingofthestars no it's not who works there smarty pants
I, too, now work at Domino's and I'm sure we can arrange that Mr. Croshaw. Just don't order it 15 minutes before closing...
"a rampaging plot device" XD
Randy Williams IKR!
(xD)
Randy Williams XD
so true
+Randy Williams you know not every game needs some ridiculous emmy-award winning script. a game is about GAMEplay first. some of the best games ever had no more story than "oh look monsters, go kill them with this bigass shotgun" and they turned out just fine. maybe you need to go read a comic book or something.
+Randy Williams there's a book series called the wheel of time where the protagonist's father was only maimed by a rampaging plot device and remained an important character, but apart from that, these rampaging plot devices are just lethal. We should do something about them.
Shayne McConnell indeed
let me get my lawyer...
*calls the Wright Anything Agency*
not sure if anyone here understood that xD
"Wiped out by a rampaging plot device"
This will be my epitaph.
well confusion will be my epitaph
I wonder just how many random-ass .jpg files Yahtzee has stored on his computer. I mean, the man uses them all the time in his videos so there has to be thousands of them unless he bothered to delete them.
"Two pizzas instead of bread, and nine pizzas instead of filling"
Excuse me gonna make a call real quick
Having rewatched this video years later, I realize it's the most positive Yahtzee has ever been towards Mass Effect.
"I would be playing the other Xcom while eating something mommy would disapprove of"
Oh Yahtzee, you never fail to amaze me.
I feel like Im grinding zero punctuation videos sometimes, I come out from my half bored stupor and realise I have just spent 3 hours of my life doing something slightly boring.
sounds like a zero punctuation criticism.
Jimmy Conley I'm sure he can take it.
Jimmy Conley Besides it can't be, it has punctuation.
+Ciaran Cassidy If its slightly boring then why were you doing it for 5 hours?
MCHellshit The aformentioned stupor.
1:22
"This is exactly what we want!" Said everyone!
xD
Well, did they make the sandwich?
This game could have actually been really good if the devs had any clue what they were trying to make.
If they bloody made it into a real xcom game instead
The game wouldn't be bad if it wasn't terrible
I still liked the game for having the manliest voice in the world
I'd say that's resonable.
Since when does manliest voice in the world = Clint Eastwood with throat cancer?
A pizza with pizza instead of bread? But then that means that the new bread pizza also requires pizza for bread, meaning that it goes on infinitely, and the nine pizzas for filling? Dear god my brain melted and oozed out my ear into a little puddle when I tried to comprehend the amount of pizzas needed for that!
Answer to it all? INFINITE PIZZA!
No, its a sandwich with pizza-bread.
Or maybe only the dough part of the sandwich-pizza-pizza thing would get replaced, so it would eventually end up as an infinitely large coagulating mass of cheese, tomato sauce, and pepperoni.
*Drools*
So you have reached a state of meta-pizza? Live now has meaning. We must join together to attain this state of enlightenment and infinite pizza all hail our lord and savior cheese!
PauseForGames i remember i was bored one time and i made 2 frozen pizzas, then i took a pound of hamburger, made it into a paddie, cooked it up on the pan, then made a pizza burger, felt fat afterwords but it was great!
One thing I noticed in this game is why is there no Chryssalids? For everyone else who have played XCOM, Chryssalids are are the main thing you associate with the entire franchise. This game just doesn't feel like the other XCOM games, one because the Ethereals are the good guys now for some reason, and that half the enemies, including Chryssalids, are gone and replaced with these new aliens called Zudjari. What the heck are those? It's not like we'll see them again or that they overwhelmingly effect the canon of XCOM, so why have them to begin with?
+Theodore Hodbor No, I think of Sectioids mostly because that it have remained constant through XCom: UFO Defense and XCom: Enemy Unknown
Why stick Xcom in it though, why not just make a completely new game. I just don't get it.
$$$$$$$$$ is why
+Bjarki Þorleifsson
nobody buys generic shooter unless it has a big name
+Bjarki Þorleifsson Because most game developers these days have caught the Catholic Priest flu.
They've gotten real interested in what young boys think and enjoy servicing them and catering to their needs, and young boys like nothing more than something that looks and plays like Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
+Motör Punx In theory yes, money, but in pratice it's stupid and doesn't make any money: most people playing modern FPS don't care/know about a 20 year old RTS, and people that enjoyed a RTS 20 years ago would probably prefer it to remain a RTS.
DanielAvelan There are more xcom titles than the one that came out 20 years ago.
its me job
I feel like Yahtzee needs more of talking to himself in videos. I enjoy it thoroughly .
During the entire game, I get the feeling that they had an understanding of what they were doing, but had little idea of how to do it. As if they had the ideas down but weren't though though enough, probably because half the team were making the expansion for XCOM: EU at the same time. I feel like if they put more time into this it could have been profound but instead amounted to what felt like half of a good idea.
It wasn't half a team, it was two totally different developers; Firaxis did Enemy Unknown and 2K Marin did this one. They had a full staff.
Not to mention they had already delayed the game countless times as it is.
They certainly didn't understand how Mass Effect combat worked. "Oh, I've been behind this cover for half a minute now, better run back to the player." m(
Were those scorpions at the beginning meant to be a winking reference to the chryssalids from Enemy Unknown?
Fuck the zerg rush. Crysallid infestations are the worse. Considering more the fact that the oceans are infested with the buggers according to Enemy Within and It came from the Sea in the Tactical Legacy Pack for XCOM 2
The fact that we've given creatures like giant squids a name doesn't make them any less of a terrifying monster.
damn sectopods.
Almost a year after this comment, a man has swam with a live giant squid, albeit a juvenile, for the first time in recorded history. It tried to grab him half heartedly at one point, but apart from that, he enjoyed the dive. Giving a name doesn't make it less terrifying. Getting to know it does. I don't know where I'm going with this anymore.
thats really cool! my dad works with a lot of people with learning difficulties and i've met a lot of them and they have had trouble interacting in any way, but i'm really glad to hear you have no trouble communicating, i'm sure some of it is to do with the better level of care people with learning difficulties have had in the past even before 15 years ago
You sound a bit like Karl Pilkington there, on occasion.
dose the the little adventurer guy have a goatee or is he just really happy
+Devin James Cooper -Nuttall I vote for goatee.
+Devin James Cooper -Nuttall I vote for happy.
3:24 the Escapist watermark lines up perfectly with the line on the mass effect 3 logo
My mate just showed me an episode of this and now i'm sitting down watching them all. How does this not have more view?
This is so Friggin' hilarious.
I will sit on this grenade egg, and it will hatch into a baby grenade, which will grow up into a big, beutiful adult gre- BOOM!
"wiped out by a rampaging plot device". Gets me every time xD
William carter's face throughout the whole thing had me in stiches.
I swear its just way to hilarious!
I want a main-character who follows the rules and doesnt get results.
So every time your guy misses in xcom
So, you want real life?
The explorers beard looked like his face was :D
I wouldn't want to follow up *dead* Freddy Mercury, to be fair. His residual mustache charisma would upstage me.
Well, I'm honored you think so highly of us as a group. I'm sorry this comment has little to do with the discussion at hand and even less with Mr. Croshaw's video, but I just wanted to thank you for what is genuinely the most uplifting thing I've heard in quite a while. Many thanks.
im not ganna watch this guy for the rest of the day annnnnnnnd I wasted 5 hours
I'm late to the party but same
Can't watch him for more than three minutes at a time
I was confused about why Yahtzee would be ordering Domino's, but then I remembered that's because I live in the US and it's utter tripe here. Apparently it's good everywhere else though. :/
*****
its decent here in Canada i only order from there when there is a sale normally i buy from the family owned place down the road from me
It was absolute arse and then they had an ad campaign where they got random people in and gave them the pizza not knowing where it was from and they hated it, so supposedly they changed their recipes and now it's only total arse.
Brit here. Had Dominoes a couple of days ago, and it was bloody delicious. A little bit expensive, though.
ThunderPsyker American here. Had Dominoes a couple days ago, and it was bloody terrible. A little bit expensive, though.
My dominoes expletive was delicious and I live in America
lol @ the dialogue options with Heinrich.
I actually love playing both games. The story is great, the gameplay works, and I enjoy the progression.
thanks, now i want a stack of eleven domino's pizzas
My only quess is that they had already spent so much money on this one already, and didn't want to just throw it away. That is the only explenation i can give for them actually making this game.
+Suika Ibuki Cause it's they job.
It took me 6 years to notice, that the black lines on the Cover are supposed to be that black censoring stuff and that its a reference to the declassified part of the titel....
Now I remember. I've always got trouble remembering faces. Thanks
No monsters in the forest, they exist. They are called BEARS
They are giant puppies in Russia
the moose will give you greater grief then the bears
Firaxis are redeeming themselves with XCOM 2 tho :D
Alex Adamson Redemption for them is not possible at all... half-possible... I played the bureau... listen... there was that mission... i was fighting... there was a gap. So i ordered one of my guys to throw a grenade across... Aiming system made it impossible... BECAUSE THAT'S HOW GRENADES WORK
Rafał Żochowski Yeah the game was sucky. But to be honest the main problem I had with it was the disappointment, I believe it had so much potential.
+Alex Adamson Eh...
Firaxis did not make The Bureau. They were not involved in any way, in fact.
Jakub Smreczyński *2K
+Alex Adamson I just hope it won't be to XCOM: Enemy Unknown what Civ: Beyond Earth was to Civ5.
Love the Half Life reference at 2:12
best review i have ever seen or heard in my life.
Ironic thing is dominos pretty much does that in America
I just bought this for a fiver in ASDA!
***** You could be right - I haven't actually played it yet though!
Ooooh. That's where it came from. I work for domino's and I get this damn request all the time.
It is weekly, it just takes youtube a while to get them up; you can find the most recent ones on the escapist website if he's uploaded any.
Wasn't the "this shit ain't my XCOM" thing started by Spoony with his whole "betrayal" nonsense that got him into serious trouble with Channel Awesome?
Yep, Yahtzee has said that he likes Spoony's reviews.
Hey, as long as this comment is near the top, what happened to Channel Awesome? I'm not saying that my opinion has really changed on it (I'm not really a fan at all, I just hear about them in passing an check out Doug's content once in a while), but it seems everyone else's has. I only believe this because when I type Channel Awesome in the TH-cam search bar, the second suggestion is "Channel Awesome Controversy."
Martin Johnson quite a lot of the old guard are gone and the website runs like a real company and not seem like a bunch of friends anymore. Haters gonna hate.
Grace Liu Oh. That seems simple enough. I thought some kind of catastrophe had occurred or something. Mind you, I did search that result, and ended up with a variety of situations that were impossible to connect, such as a questionable kickstarter, the thing with Spoony, etc.
"Cause its mah job"
I'm sorry, but that line was fucking adorable, dood~
:3
That part at the beginning part reminds me of Tim from Jam
Done on The Escapist website. Maybe it'll get on TH-cam next week
I approve of the pizzas
I like the X-Com series and avoided this one cause of said reason..... I LIKE X-Com games... Yet they still fitted this into Enemy Unknown...... TWICE
Honestly this game was amazing in the first few levels when you were fighting in towns. There's just something about soldiers using WW2 era weaponry in a 60's styled American town that just tickles my fancy
"...while the chef is firing jacket potatoes at your mouth with a tennis ball cannon" cracked me up.
Please review xcom enemy within, I know it's kind of the same but it's a Lot better
***** No, that was enemy unknown
you want to characterized permadeath characters? well play fire emblem then, and don't blame me when you restart every mission 50 times trying to keep everyone alive
You know the truth is Steel Batallion Heavy Armor also had characterized perma death characters, and this feature may have helped make it a very unique and replayable game... if the controls weren't absolute shit.
Did you mean:
my xcom experience
Oh Yahtzee, you make me laugh more than any other part of youtube.
That "pop a cap in he ass" bit made me laugh so hard, I spit on my screen
Thanks a lot, Yahtzee! Now I want Dominoes...
the funny part is he did a zero punctuation on your pic
justin garcia
the funny part is that he did a zero punctuation on your pic
Yahtzee always manages to make me laugh.
This might be the best video he's ever done
Love the archer references.
That sounds like my kind of sandwich.
I would listen to undead freddie mercury, He could be a mummie since zombies and vampires are played out which freddie mercury will never be
1:10
I remember this... Good times.
Long have I waited for this review, ever since I played the Buearo.
I am not disappointing.
Lets see him do Lost Planet 3...
I WILL make that sandwich AND DUB IT The Pizza Stacker Sandvich! yes I love TF2
It was a horrible horrible game, but I did like that thing they did at the very end. Now that was a creative way to make TPS into FPS.
How was it bad?
it's already up on Escapist.com
lol "ok good for you, bye then" heeh that was my exact thought at the time :)
BETRAYL! BETRAAAAAAAAYL!
Easy now, Spoony
Never! I really miss Spoonys brash style, noone else has it.
edit: If you know some guys, tell me.
I just wish they'd made the game as originally intended, the early gameplay videos looked great and had genuine mystery to them. If only the Xcom fans had kept their mouths shut.
Did you not enjoy the game?
Pizza bit at the end, hilarious!
Pretty close to the start, happy with that performance.
I think it may be in reference to a song that Collegehumor did sometime ago called 'We didn't start the flame war' which was a parody of 'We didn't start the fire'.
That Pizza Sandwich sounds awesome
Your profile picture fits so well.
Playing this on Steam Deck now, and it's awesome!
I love these videos.
He did the review for Saints Row 4 on the Escapist website. To put it short he had fun.
5:10 Yeah ask Robotnik from Sonic for Hire how doing that with tacos worked out for him.
That sandwich is absolutely coming soon, and I can't believe it's not already available.
Best review in a while
It's on the escapist website.
OMG the ending summary of the review was the best yet... I called domino's and they told me no;.;..
On the cover of XCOM: Enemy Unknown GOTY edition it should say "Like 11 stacked pizzas - Ben Croshaw"
Your picture + your comment = Magnificent.
This game was like a child's lost balloon. Everyone who saw it wondered where it world go, but when it popped everyone forgot about it.
"..to see if we can get two pizzas I as slices of bread - and nine pizzas as the filling!"
That's 9+2=11
.....Illumiyahtzee conforsmd
Just go to the Escapist site proper, he updates around noon on wednesdays, EST.
I really liked the combat in this game. I'd enjoy an XCOM that was like Enemy Unknown but with the combat of this for every battle.
well that ending sounds delicious
I always finish watching these thinking 'Awwww SNAP!'
Funny thing. I just got back from a restaurant where they make a burger using pizza instead of a bun.