Why WOMEN DON'T APOLOGIZE: understanding the nature of the problem
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
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I'm 40 years-old, and I can count the number of apologies I've received from women over the course of my life on one hand. Surprisingly, this is not due to the fact that I have always interacted with virtuous, high-quality, well-behaving women. For whatever reason, women seem to find it particularly difficult to apologize to men -- and this is really too bad. In this episode, I'll discuss the nature of the difficulty, and why it would be in women's best interests to apologize more often.
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Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanps...
#relationship #women #dating
Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated program and the world's only empirically-validated GRE test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com.
I'm 40 years-old, and I can count the number of apologies I've received from women over the course of my life on one hand. Surprisingly, this is not due to the fact that I have always interacted with virtuous, high-quality, well-behaving women. For whatever reason, women seem to find it particularly difficult to apologize to men -- and this is really too bad. In this episode, I'll discuss the nature of the difficulty, and why it would be in women's best interests to apologize more often.
Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
Podcast available of Spotify, Instagram, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts and others.
See the "About" tab for more information on donations and consultations.
Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com
#relationship #women #dating
Just found your channel. Very beneficial. BUT I disagree how you handled the gf who wanted to apologise with sex. I would have instead angry eff'ed her and THEN go sleep on the couch. LOL.
The problem is pride. Pride before the fall. Apologizing is the hardest thing for the proud.
Yeah, the only thing I got from that is that women are wrong and then make things worse by doubling down on stupid. That's when a man needs to call her out on her BS. It's that simple. Men who "apologize" for being right, just because she's "upset", disgusts me. Weak men like that make it harder for the rest of us who have to do your job of breaking her in properly.
There will be less USA men committing suicide when they stop dating and stop marrying USA women.
Most USA women live an unrealistic life of fantasy, will men accept their foolish fantasy Feminist lives ?
Women soon have a different attitude when the man has upset the woman
A women physically attacked me over a year ago, I distanced myself from her and she reached out a few weeks ago. I explained her behaviour was disgusting and if the shoe had been on the other foot I would be in jail, you know what she said....."I apologise if I made you feel a certain way" she never once mentioned her behaviour.....THIS VIDEO IS GOLD DUST!
Women ☕️ 😆
You got lucky. I was physically attacked by my ex and I called the cops and I got sent to jail when I never hit her back or anything. I got kicked out of the apartment we were staying in and she got no consequences whatsoever. The cops just took me because I'm the man an they left her without her without any skin in the game. I'm pretty sure this is was because crooked cops showed up to the scene. They told me it was just their policy to take someone. I had to enroll in domestic violence classes as soon as I was bailed out as a condition of my bail. Was never convinced of the crime but I got the punishment of someone who was guilty. It's wild how much power women have when the judicial system is involved
''i apologise if I made you feel a certain way'' say what....
Lol, was a hoe. The same chick will complain her partner slapped her to the judge when you do reply to her whiny abuse.
@@MoistDelta. insane.
we live in an era where something so basic like accountability needs a psychologist to break it down
Unfortunately, I think he is wrong in calling this a woman's problem.
@@oasisneko1 i lowkey agree. its not just a women thing
@@oasisneko1 Both men and women can struggle with accountability, but in relationships, dodging accountability and never apologizing is more of a woman's problem than a man's.
@@oasisneko1 It has begun to manifest itself in men, as many have been raised by single mothers
@@oasisneko1 Most Women do that. This is why many don't apologize
"Women want the authority of a man, the privileges of a woman, and the accountability of a child".
❤
LOVE IT!
@@platoon1081 Very true 🤔
This has to be one of the best lines I have seen.
@@fmmnta Ok, you missed the point. We are listing the BAD thigs. What you listed was a GOOD thing! lol
The irony is that many women will say “sorry” multiple times when they interact with a stranger.
They don’t mean it.
An apology is really three things: a) An expression of regret at taking an action the person now understands was inappropriate, b) An implicit commitment to not repeat the inappropriate action, c) A gesture of respect toward the person who has been wronged. When a person refuses to apologize, what they are saying is, "I did nothing wrong. I will do it again, if I feel like it. And, I don't respect you." Steer clear of anyone--woman or man--who feels they are above apologizing.
I had my last gf say to me "why is respect so important to you"? I responded with "why ISN'T respect important to you? It's the whole foundation of civilisation and relationships. Without respect, there is nothing".
The problem is she demanded respect from everyone around her but never gave it in return. She truly believed (like a narcissist) that she peed chardonnay and farted chanel No. 5
@@muskokamike127 If anyone asked me that, I'd reply, "ask your next bf. Bye!"
@@threethrushes I learned by my mistakes and yes, I will, from now on.
I can admit it: she had a great body and I was thirsty......so I overlooked SO many issues.
Thanking for making it a both issue. I've dated men who can't/won't apologize either. It's specific to a gender: it's specific to people who don't show respect.
@@threethrushes if she manages to get one, lol .
My ex-wife would apologize occasionally, but every single time she did, she'd immediately bring up some random incident from the past where she felt I wronged her. It didn't matter how bad the thing was she was apologizing for, she'd still somehow try to turn it around on me.
@treeghettox Relationships are much like courts, the way I see it. Once there is a precedent, that is the new goal post that has moved. What you allow, is what will continue. I guess the same could be said for any type of bad behavior in people in general.
@treeghettox sadly that sounds like teaching your children when you can't use any punishment!!
🤣 it's as if I wrote this myself.
@@patrickday4206 There are many podcasts geared towards men and relationships that compare women to children. Women hate it but since they are driven by their emotions they truly are. Case in point: women who proudly proclaim that they have a job, own their own car, pay for their own house. "congratulations, you're an adult" lol.
I've had a relationship where the woman said "why do you treat me like a child?why don't you treat me like an adult"? I will when you start acting like one. I look back and wish I knew then what I knew now and would have nipped it in the bud a lot sooner.
I've tried playing that game back every time she mentioned some wrong I did in the past I'd bring up 2 wrongs she did each time. Then shed say your so like a woman! She would say she has changed and wont do that again
Before working on myself to overcome my selfishness in my marriage, I never apologized; if I did, it was to make myself feel better, but my words were empty and forget about changing my behavior. Women don't apologize because we lack empathy with men and the capacity to admit when we are wrong. We think we know everything about relationships and that men know nothing, which makes us perpetually right and men perpetually wrong. From this perspective, we never have to look at ourselves and take accountability to change.
That is actually a pretty good comment from a woman, a rarity in the manosphere, you have earned a degree of respect from this 57 year old life long bachelor that could count on two hands the women he has any respect for.
@@jerrybruckhart9134 props
I had not noticed your username nor looked at your page when I made my initial comment. When QED commented, I came back and took another look. If you see this, I am quite certain you would find red pill philosophy quite interesting, the study of female nature. I would be glad to share my writings if you have interest.
Women need to get rid of this "Man bad, woman good " narrative in their heads. It's wrecking families, and ruining people's lives. Thanks for helping make the world better.
My mother is like that and I think by me still coming around she thinks her behavior is ok
I have dated a woman who learned to apologize to me maybe a few months or so into the relationship. I told her that while she never saw her parents apologize to each other, we were going to set a different standard and always seek reconciliation through apologizing as promptly as we could do so sincerely. Not just a hurry up and apologize to get through the hard part of it.
She began to apologize to me for things that I was unaware of that she was doing wrong and also a decent amount of time for things that I was aware of. I am proud of her for growing in this way. I did the same to her.
Thank for leading the way and teaching her that it is ok to apologize. A lot of women don’t admit fault due to shame and judgement that comes along with doing something wrong. You’re a true leader and we need more men like you who are willing to teach, lead, and create safe spaces for women to honoring a man’s leadership.
That’s awesome
Well done, brother. You cracked the DaVinci code .Enjoy your success. You deserve it 👏
thank you for this because many men do not have this safe empathy space for women when they do wrong we are not perfect at the end of the day as long as you see she is trying to be better
Huge shout out for taking on a controversial idea.
Being able to apologize is a huge sign of maturity and self awareness.
and not being a narcissist.
This is literally taught to us before school, how the fuck is it controversial?
@@LJ-hk4tv It's only taught to boys, not girls. Hence the problem.
@@BalboaBaggins Sad reality
Most people have no self awareness and are female animals xDD
This is the way I see it. I think another factor at play is that apologizing gives away leverage for women. Women tend to like operating in a nebulous intermediate space between being strategic and "acting natural". They need to have plausible deniability at all times. It's also why they never make first moves and prefer using subtle cues of interest. Because making first moves means committing to a path with intent where you cannot act like you meant to do something else whereas something noncommittal like a quick glance in your direction can be interpreted as either a signal of interest for you to pick up or just looking at something else that just happens to be in your direction. They need that duality of interpretation. This way, depending on future events going their way or not, they can always alter the true intent of something they did in the past. If a guy approaches, she wins and if he doesn't approach she wasn't trying to get his attention aways.
Now back to why they don't apologize. If we refer back to what I said about needing to have duality of intent, women approach relationships with men in a way where they use their everyday amiable behavior with their partner as a disguise for their true intent which is to maintain leverage in the relationship power dynamic. They really truly view relationships as things to control for their sake by using their ability to manipulate male behavior by leveraging sex, beauty, "damsel in distress" tactics, etc. but they will never reveal this since they know it comes off as conniving. If we go back to the video "women look at men the way men look at jobs", an analogy would be that a man would be a fool to admit to his job that he's only there for the money even if it's true. He must disguise his true goal for being there with the BS he tells them at the interview about really enjoying what he's heard the company's culture, wanting to make an impact, etc.
Now here's the kicker. The reason women don't apologize is because you can look at apologizing as a diagnostic that reveals her true intent which is maintaining leverage. When the situation arises where she needs to apologize, she can't hide behind the BS anymore that she uses to cover her intent, because apologizing requires being selfless and being selfless gives up leverage. The situation is like a knife that separates the two sides of the plausible deniability coin. She must show her hand. Love and selflessness or leverage. By apologizing she has to momentarily concede the high ground she uses for strategic purposes and this gives up her ability to use the tools she uses to maintain control of the relationship's power dynamics. The tactics I mentioned before aren't as effective if she has to perform a submissive act such as apologizing. The apology would be easy if her goal was love and equity in the relationship, but it's near impossible to do if her goal is maintaining leverage. Apologizing forces her out of the nebulous space of plausible deniability that she likes to operate in. By not apologizing, she tries to cling to her leverage. By offering sex and other things she tries to get passed this situation and still maintain the high ground. She never admitted to doing anything wrong and so you must still treat her like the innocent blameless damsel that she is and she can still set the rules for how the relationship proceeds.
Incredible insight!
@@findinglela thanks man!
@@justlurkin welcome
I like how you described their way of acting as being between strategic and "acting natural" with plausible deniability as cover.
Yeah makes perfect sense. Say this is the theorem than add her personality type + the qaulity of the relationship. Wouldnt there be a way to back them into a corner so that her only option was to apologise?
I once had a girlfriend who though very sweet and thoughtful, would create unnecessary drama from time to time. It seemed as though she would just get bored and want to upset the apple cart a bit . I sat her down and explained to her that if she was going to create more stress in my life that it wouldn't work out. I told her she needed to bring value to the relationship and behave as though we are on the same team. I will never forget what she said. She said, "I am sorry and I apologize. I will work to realize when I am doing that, but I also hope since you are older and more experienced than me that you will correct me on the spot." The next thing I did was ask her to marry me a few months later. No joke
Out of curiosity, how much older than her? I wanna know 'cause EVERYONE is hating on age-gap relationships these days and I feel like they might be a better option (especially since I'm in my mid-30s, now)
W
@@somedandy7694 18 years :)
@@luxdevoid Congrats! And how's that marriage going? Any tips you'd give for someone who just started a similar age gap relationship? Me and my gf have a 17.5-year gap.
@@Seetiyan It's going great And honestly it's just on the man . Years ago in college I took a negotiation class and I learned that any negotiation you can't walk away from you will lose. You're just going to have to play chicken and she's going to have to blink every time just pick your battles and make it over important matters of ethics and morality . Always be willing to walk away. There's always a younger hotter girl out there but it doesn't need to come to that. Her perception of you is 100% based on your confidence in yourself.
Women really underestimate just how appreciative we would be if they said sorry just once.
Mine says sorry whenever she feels she made a mistake
@@justsomerandomhomie1794 I don't understand why this is so uncommon. I grew up with girls... The reality is, for the most part, they're almost allergic to apologising
@@AlexAble-tk5zc Sadly we broke up
Men need to learn not to “react” negatively to what they do. Then they will say “I’m sorry.” Men are far too reactive. Once the man reacts and takes the “bait,” it reinforces the females behavior and reinforces it, that’s why there is no “sorry”
i always said that to them, "If you did as i said since the beginning, step 1 , but no , u had to do it in your way , miss sharkira, well done, now who is gonna clean this pshycological mess?
the man
One word - narcissism. Narcissists pretty much never apologise. I've been in toxic relationship for about 1,5 years, took A LOT of sh*t from her and in that time period she apologised TWO TIMES and in both cases it was like a shock for me that she is even capable of it.
That seems like a lot. I would honestly even question her being narcissistic. :D I'm quite sure my dad is and all I think I ever got in over 30 years was half an apology after he forced me into a situation that gave me a frickin life-uprooting brain injury (which I thankfully recovered from, though it took like 3 years) -- and he took managed to take it back soon thereafter too. Nothing is ever the fault of a person with strong NPD.
@@ThorX89 Jesus Christ, it's painful even just to read about it, sorry for you man. I think, narcissism is a spectrum, one can be not clinically NPD but still have strong narcissistic tendencies, don't you think? Your example is of course extreme, even lesser degree of such relationship can wreck you (like in my case). Stay strong for your own sake. Just like you said, it was not your fault.
I was married for 15 years and my wife only "apologized" once (for cheating), but she said it was really MY fault she cheated, so not sure that counts as an "apology" when you blame the victim for your own bad deeds.
The more I know about npd and bpd the more I think there is no npd/bpd, but .... true female nature... why it is this way? I don`t know.
Not only do I not hear apologies from women they are very quick to blame men for everything. They have a cough, it's a mans fault. You name it, it's a man's fault. It's not funny and I think they need to learn to take responsibility. Some things just happen.
I have a lady friend now and we seldom are together wirhout her blaming me or men for something everyday. Narcissist? Maybe!
My ex wife would argue with me round and round about the DUMBEST things where she refused to simply apologize for bad behavior, denying it was bad and just being completely illogical and hypocritical, would try to deflect back on me yadda yadda. Then she'd say sorry...and IMMEDIATELY do the same thing again. After years of this I asked her to define what the word "Sorry" meant to her because I was FLABERGASTED she could say sorry and REPEATEDLY do the same thing again. She said "It means I don't want to fight anymore". They don't even know what sorry MEANS.
Agree, they learn it from childhood that saying I am sorry stops the fight, or them getting yelled at... So they are sorry they got caught, not that they felt bad about doing wrong...
The woman's reasoning :
"He knows it is painful for me to apologize. He wouldn't require that i apologize if he really cared for me".
Doskonały komentarz👍. Zgadzam się.
1) he could make her violate “he protects me at all costs” by forcing an apology
2) it could force her to confront reality vs the figment of reality she has created in her mind
aww, what a difference between women and men. the good thing is that apologizing my change women behavior because it cost a lot for her.
This is like the intelligence level of a cat. If you loved me, you wouldn't take me to the vet. If you loved me you would give me the entire bag of treats. If you loved me you would let me go outside indefinitely. And actually even some cats re above that level.
@@maikeru01let her go outside indefinitely is the answer
My ex had no problem apologizing....and then doing the same behavior over and over again.
Basically she hasn't apologized..
Her apologies was just words and did not come from reflection.
"Sorry" implies a feeling of sorrow/regret. Is she sorry for what she did or for getting caught?
@Anon1gh3 I think she just said sorry as that is what she thought she should do .
😂 it's called consistency
I absolutely, 100 percent agree. My wife has only apologised to me once in 8 years of marriage. I remember it like it was yesterday, cause I’m still in shock that it happened!
honest apologizes require:
- taking responsibility
- accepting accountability
- self reflection
- humility
- a willingness to change
- acknowledgement of wrong doing
- admitting someone else was right
it would be easier to get a picture of a Bigfoot riding a Unicorn, than find a woman with these characteristics.
Cryptozoologists should put the humble woman in their catalog of elusive and marvelous creatures.
My ex wife did not display a single one of those during our divorce, literally everything was my fault and/or I made her act the way she did or do/not do the things she did. She thought she was actually blameless. It boggled my mind that she could think that way - glad that chapter of my life is over and I am a better person for moving on.
Absolutely
@Bobisabuilder25 when it comes to meaningful apologies I think of a specific quote and a specific song:
Quote: “your actions are so deafening, I can’t hear what you’re saying”
Song Lyric: “who needs actions when you’ve got words”
Fake apologies are easy, but actions reveal people’s true motivations. And for sure, an apology delayed is no apology at all.
🦄 Bigfoot on a unicorn 🦄🦄 ! (ijs , who hurt you ) Sorry for your bad past situations.
“How do you write women so well?”
“I think of a man and take away reason and accountability”
- Jack Nicolson, as good as it gets
I too will NEVER forget that line.
one of the best movie lines E V E R ....
That quote is exactly what came to mind when seeing this video
Based
Actually, "I start with a man."
You are spot on with this. When my wife has gotten too overbearing on something and I react, she sees my reaction as the problem, and not her behavior. I would apologize for reacting too strongly, and things are fine...until the next time she repeats the action. This never really fixed her behavior. She had no incentive to correct her behavior; the only incentive is that I not react to what she is doing. A popular phrase for relationships is "communication is key to a successful relationship". That's not the whole story. Communication coupled with ACTION is what makes a relationship successful. Anything else may keep the relationship intact, but it won't thrive, and bitterness will creep in.
golden comment crystal clear
Women -some- have a complex of being inferior also they believe bc they are emotional more advanced - which isnt really true- and bc man want sex from them that they are superior on the emotional level and more vulnerable and hence are reluctant to apologize when they were misbehaving because they are like a medal with two sides. Gaslighting, emotional manipulation and light abuse are their tools of choice sometimes when they feel unease.
No marriage or cohabitation ever.
Absolutely true. Men respect women who take responsibility. A brief apology can set things right, the nicest gesture cannot.
The nicest gesture suggests i can manipulate you ..
An apology says i respect you..
@@ndld4955 That's what it really boils down to for men. There was a book, I think it was called Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus. Might be wrong about the name or the source, and I'ma paraphrase. The true key difference between men and women, is that men NEED respect, whereas women need love. Each has their own emotional needs from themselves and from others at a deep and unavoidable level.
I believe one of the many things that get this massive ball of yarn so tangled is that people can react and behave so differently both in response to how they are treated by others, and how they pursue meeting their needs and desires. We all have our own beliefs and internal values, each needing wanting and valuing each different thing ever so slightly differently. Each of us looking for a different happiness as we see it, using the tools we believe best capable of obtaining them.
(Edit to add)
Personally, I don't really care too badly if I'm not loved by people. It's good to be, but if I'm never loved by anyone other than actual family again, I'll be mostly O.K. with it, as long as I'm respected, at least at a basic level. I don't really believe women care about being respected on a core need level. Of course everyone needs and deserves respect, but I believe women would drop that if it meant being well and truly loved if they had to pick. I don't mean basic human respect here either, I mean having an emotional or intellectual or what have you respect for someone.
@@simspawn but being loved is also being respected, no? As a man i feel it is.
@@limoncr5205 I think so, and I think most men do as well. I think women might see it a bit differently. I think people try to love people and show love the way they want to be loved.
It's really important to really know and understand ourselves as well as our partners and understand what we need on a core level to have a stable and healthy relationship. If you don't know what emotional needs you have to be filled it's can be hard to know the right kind of person to look for. Without knowing what kind of emotional needs your partner has it can be hard to actively try and fill them.
I'm getting a little rambling though.
Women don't apologize because they think they are always right and they never do anything wrong. Then, when a man gets upset at her, she starts criticizing your emotions. Their lack of apologies causes resentment to build up against your lady and destroys your relationship over time
I've experienced similar "peace offerings." I, too, lost respect for the ladies who do this instead of simple apologies.
I once timidly asked for an apology. She flipped out. The wrong was not a big deal, but not apologizing and refuting the facts were the last straw of the marriage.
@Nothing-2-see-here I was going to say the same thing, and mention how my ex wife (diagnosed vulnerable narcissist) was just like this, she would NEVER Apologize and would become ENRAGED when I'd confront her and ask for an acknowledgement of her wrong doings, however, I've observed and concluded that most, if not all women are narcissistic in nature to some degree, there's an evolutionary reason for it.
As I listen I just think how much better my life could have been with this knowledge 20-30 years ago. I’m 50 and now just learning this.
It is seen as weakness....humility coupled kindness with proper boundaries is maturity
I'm glad you didn't fall for the sex trick. A lot of weak men let their women control them through intimacy
i mean... you can have sex and still bring the issue up to let her know that was useless
@@Terrapin47-s8y simp
@@carlospita6442 lol I don’t think it’s simp behavior if you still bring it up. It means it didn’t work.
Just tell your woman that if she does not give you what you need, then you will find another woman, or women, who will. You must be calm, cool, & collected. Do not yell, do not threaten. Use the same voice as discussing the weather in a far away place. DO NOT be held hostage. There are no victims, just volunteers. To the men, you must do your part as well. You cannot expect a woman to put out on demand. Give her what she needs (likely not what she says), and she will give you what you need (likely which IS what you say).
Ironic how guys fondly look at make-up sex w/ bad women too. They reinforced to her she can treat him like trash & just play w/ his pee-pee after is all it takes to master him.
I already broke up with one of my ex-girlfriends because she never wanted to apologize.
I told her " We are through, just pack and leave. " She was like wtf, why ? I went " Because you never apologize for your bad behaviours and for hurting me, and I have 0 respect for people who can't take accountability and responsibility for their actions and the backlash and harm it causes to the other person. "
She begged me to take her back for months. Tried to apologize MANY times. But I was over. If you have to apologize once you are suffering the consequences, you don't truly mean it. You had to mean it when it was time to.
When she was sad and didn't want to leave , u should have said " I'm sorry that you feel that way " it would have been an icing on the cake (taste of their own medicine)
But good job man, what u did takes courage and a firm resolve
@@samyakhp4353 Yeah well, I could, but I'm not heartless either. It was already bad enough for her to feel the consequences of her actions, which many women now won't even get to experience, because they are the ones doing the dumping.
She just pushed me too far and I walked away. Women have to know that if they push you too far, you gonna walk away and never look back. Which I did.
Sometimes they have to lose a good man to truly understand and change their way.
She apologized because of the simple natural fear of being rejeced and or left alone. You’re exactly right, if she was a person of true character, she either wouldn’t have hurt you, or she would feel immense guilt for doing it right after with an apology, and a promise of change.
@bigstonkman225 Chad ? What the hell this has to do with the situation I was in 5 years ago ?
@@EternalxFrost yeah but some fellas have children with those harlots, and they can't just leave like that sometimes... you know, court/law, alimony etc...
"It's not that I cheated. It's that you got mad that I cheated."
a DARVO classic
Problem is that women don't think their actions are wrong.
And when you find out, we have two wrongs. Rgr
Not when men react negatively to their actions, that simply justifies them.
which is why they get arrested for DUIs and they still blame other men including officers who are there to do their jobs.
Agree Sir
This would have to be a deep set wiring based on more simple times where women did not take a lot of actions at all.
If you discount the last 700 years the vast majority of human history women were not accountable or responsible for much
Its not a bug its a feature. I would venture a 16 year old girl today has had to make more individual decisions than a 50 year old woman
1000 years ago.
Accountability for men however IS a survival trait as hunting mistakes need to be corrected and responsibility is the root concern of a man,
It is how we develop Hierarchy in setting out tasks and how we designed systems to make sure tasks were done.
Women have evolved to be ever more attractive to men, as female beauty has been more crucial towards there survival than intelligence, strength or
endurance. The human male has become so good at survival and creating civilization that the human female need only attraction to have there
Safety, Protection, provisioning and childcare provided for, no other creature in the animal kingdom is GARAUNTEED so much for so little in return.
This makes complete sense. My wife is a great lady and actually sometimes does apologize, but I soon realized she was just trying to make me feel better. She didn't actually beleive there was anything that needed fixing. This just winded me up even more and it resulted in pointless directionless arguments. After seeing this video im starting to think I should just treat women as tall children that need to be forgiven for a natural lack of rational ability. Another option is to just never show negative feelings or frustration. Because that seems to be what they are latching onto rather than the problem itself.
💯
There is a reason in 7 years almost 50 percent of women in the U.S will be alone and childless.
Spot on
Genius
totally agree
It's honestly explains to me why gaslighting is such a common manipulation tactic for women. Their behavior isn't the problem, it's how you responded to their behavior. I've met numerous women who used this type of reasoning to justify their toxic behaviour while putting the blame on you for reacting negatively.
This brings to mind the cliche of husbands just letting their wives win arguments because it's not worth the hassle. And it's so true.
Not worth the hassle? By being a door mat, she will lose respect. Divorce follows. Is divorce a hassle?
@@johncrow5552 exactly...way too many beta men in this world, ive seen a woman tell my friend, her husband, that he will be sleeping on the couch tonight in front of 5 of his friends..she told him he better not step foot in the bedroom smh..he put his head down and said "ok baby"...couldnt believe it...i wish a woman would tell me to sleep on the couch ina house i pay for LOL..wild
@@johncrow5552 I didn't say it was a good way to handle relationships. I'm just saying it's a real thing people do. But I don't agree that she loses respect. Depends how he behaves outside the relationship. If he's a doormat to everyone then sure, she might lose respect.If it's just with her, that's a very different dynamic. The point is that between the two of them, he lets her win which she can take as a sign of respect, or maybe she likes having a man who gives her what she wants and also takes care of business beyond the relationship. Maybe she likes being dominant. Or maybe she likes to be right and constantly fighting with her to prove her wrong is what makes her lose respect and leave. There are many ways these things can go but in all cases, it's not healthy for both partners to let one win all the time.
@@jesus4lyfe00 Exactly. As a man, just go to bed as usual. What can she do? Go and sleep on the couch!
@@aozf05 No, allowing a wife to act inappropriately, for whatever reason, IS being a door mat. There's a saying: do you want to be right and sleep on the couch or wrong and sleep in your own bed? I say "I can be right AND sleep in MY bed". The problem is sayings like "happy wife happy life" which should be "happy spouse happy house". Too many times I've seen men, my father included, let their wives walk all over them to "keep the peace". That's a false peace.
It's like the old saying "why do men die 10 years before women"? "because they are tired of the BS and that's their way out".
Could it not be that they simply don't think in terms of right and wrong, but in terms of feelings, like "I deserve" and "you make me feel good", or "I feel threatened"? Their own bad behaviour doesn't make them feel bad, but pointing it out does, so that makes the man the bad person in a relationship.
It IS this. They are incredibly selfish to an unimaginable extent. "Right" in their eyes is what makes them feel good. This is another reason there is no such thing as a female "pastor." A whamin's only god is herself.
They are solipsistic beings.
I had a GF once who thought of "selfish" as a taboo word, thinking it was the worst thing, like calling someone a Nazi. Looking back, our relationship was all about her.
That’s the reasoning of a child…I suppose that’s why people say they act like children.
Women think they are correct until proven otherwise but its to much trouble to bother so I do not.
"From a woman's perspective, the problem is not the identified [woman's] behaviour, the problem is that the man is angry and upset [about the behaviour]." - OMG I am sooo glad that someone said it out loud, because after countless repetitions of this exact situation (between me and my significant other) I started feeling like there's something wrong with me and/or I'm going crazy... Thank you so much for hitting that nail in the head!
The fact that you basically have to teach GROWN WOMEN to apologize after bad behavior says everything you need to know about them.
accept he didnt provide any evidence for for this and the fact you need to be told their a difference betreen someone making random claims and what a fact is shows everything I need to know about alot of the people in this comment section lol
@@informationyes yeh learn to make sense before trying to call someone out. Makes you sound less stupid
I think it says more about our society as a whole
@@informationyes anyone who isnt a male feminist dont need examples, because theyve lived it.
@@diogenesdacynic8656 You mean in really anactodal examples guys generalise about all woman based on bias?
Studys actually show woman not only apologise but even more than men lol but you know that would just be something morr reliable, you have no need for anything like that do you lol
100% I left the love of my life because she couldn't apologise for something I deemed a huge line cross. I held my frame and her accountable. That was a 14yr relationship burned which stings me today years later
I feel you brother. Six years for me but the same scenario.
This actually makes perfect sense in comparison to my childhood. My female teachers would always punish me for defending myself from older kids. Clearly in the minds of those teachers it was my fault those bullies attacked me, clearly they wouldn't have tried to bully me if I hadn't defended myself from them. Or maybe female "logic" is simply backwards.
In this case, teachers are not going to dole out judgement or justice, they are simply looking to maintain order and peace so they can teach. When things get out of hand, their recourse is to send the offenders to the principal for judgement and punishment. It's systemic more than anything else IMO.
Nope. I've never understood this either and there are plenty of MALE principals who act like this.
They punished you for the same reason police give the streets to Antifa - because the bullied are easier to deal with and to punish than the actual perps.
I have never noticed this before, when stood up for myself a fought my bullies (several times) It was always the female teachers the one that punished me, the male ones usually just observe and some of them even laugh.
America is pro bully. They want the victims to be afraid to speak up and stand up for themselves. If you tell on the bully they will just say it was both of your fault.
I was married for eleven years - I can count on ONE FINGER the number of times she took responsibility and apologized. Obviously, the rest of the time everything was somehow MY FAULT.
(Freedom is better than need 'em)
This man literally explained the entirety of my 2 year relationship and why it ended.
Wtf? I just came out of a 2 year relationship for the exact reason lol. Wild..
@@Clvrkz it's the hoe hivemind
I’ve apologized when wrong. I do because it’s the right thing to do and I take full responsibility for my actions. Not all women are like this.
I found myself listening to this several times, often backing up to really absorb what you were saying. This is something that has been frustrating to me, and today is my 35th wedding anniversary. I've asked myself, "Why can't she accept accountability?" "Why is that apology more about 'sorry you feel wronged' and not 'sorry I wronged you'?". I can feel my blood boiling already. I'll be adding this to my favorites and I will listen to it from time to time.
If you tolerate it that long its is just as much your fault as hers.
Man here, can confirm.
Been married 35 years and my wife has only apologized twice when I begged her to apologize, and she gave a half hearted “well if you’re upset, I’m sorry”. Very irritating behavior, we nearly got divorced over it. She is too prideful to apologize. Maddening.
Why don’t you just share the video with your wife?
@@Ryan-lc9lb
I did, and it only made her mad. I don’t understand it at all.
@@sliglusamelius8578 because the expert is male.
This for your own consumption.
Try Pearl or Roma channel instead for showing.
In my whole life. I have had one apology from a woman. She left a voice mail apology and I have saved it for three years now... LOL
props
🤣🤣🤣
Historians will be very interested in this rare document in the future.
Send it to the Smithsonian.
Just listen to Amber Heard's "apology" to Johnny Depp.
To paraphrase:
"Babe you weren't punched. I was hitting you, I'm sorry that you can't handle it."
"costs you nothing" except her ego, self-esteem, and sense of self preservation. Many women do no apologize becasue they can not differentiate between their behavior and themselves. Recognizing bad behavior equates to recognizing they are bad. It feels like death.
I agree with your sentiment, but that's still no excuse for that behaviour.
Usually adults like to date other adults ya'know?
@@RoddHoward Totally agree. I just don't understand why so many women are so immature. Growing up, we were told men are immature, but reality seems to be the exact opposite.
@@camelprotector haha think it's a suite of social and evolutionary behaviours that over time have become over exaggerated having negative effects all around 🤷♂️
But in saying that I've also noticed a pretty wide awakening to the negative aspects of that set of behaviours.
and this is the core of the problem. Many women have narcissistic tentencies to admit they r wrong and apologize.
I am a woman and I always apologize. Saying "thank you" and "I'm sorry" is never too much for any human being. 😊
@elainer8288 Sadly, every girl thinks she is the exception to the rule.
Do you think the girls who never admit they are wrong admit they are like this?
We would have to ask the men in your life, to really be sure.
Obviously the creator of the video is not referring to apologies for minor or accidental transgressions such as bumbing into someone or spilling their latte or being 5 minutes late for an appointment, losing their pencil and so on. Anyone with good manners will say "I'm sorry" for such things quite often in one day.
@@obviouslyasockpuppet I'm not referring to that either.
@@Aribbonofsoundmen Come on, that's not such a difficult thing to do. Mostly young and immature people do this. (not apologize)
@@fineless I have apologized sincerely to a man and other people a thousand times like any other human being. It is never too much to say this. I think mostly when we are very young, teenagers and kids this is really more difficult. At least it was like that for me.
After 37 years of marriage, and numerous arguments over this very point, I've concluded that for women, it's not the apology that is so hard, but the accepting of responsibility and accountability for their actions. They just can't accept fault. That's why they use the "I'm sorry you're upset" version of an apology. That puts the blame on you for being upset rather than on them for their actions that caused it.
This. Absolutely this! It boggles my mind when they can't seem to take accountability and responsibility for their [bad] actions. My ex told me once; "sometimes it's not enough to say I'm sorry, sometimes you have to FIX the problem." I honestly took that to heart. Well, flash forward sometime later, she did something horribly wrong, and when confronted about it, she cried and accused me of making her feel like a terrible person/girlfriend. Not only that, she NEVER tried to make amends. It's insane and infuriating how this happens.
100 percent correct women cannot and will not accept responsibility for their actions, it always your fault no matter what. It's why the women who call themselves boss babes or boss female dogs say you can't handle me. No we don't want that has nothing to do with intimidation or whatever no man is afraid of a woman but they rationalize. That's another thing they do. Women are not rational most women aren't but they sure do rationalize after the fact.
Yup
@@americanpatriot7508 I like how you said “bad female dogs” lol. Seriously though, I’ll never understand why women call themselves that word. It’s not a compliment! Since when was calling yourselves a female dog a good thing?? Just shows how upside down everything has become. I immediately get turned off by a woman who calls herself that, and I lose respect for her. I might be old school, but that’s how my father taught/raised me.
@@blaxpoitation8528 it's the same thing with black men calling themselves the N word
Something that just doesn't make sense if the word was supposedly so horrible
This video should be everywhere!!! ❤ The little Cost for woman to express an apology, is pride, that is a small price too pay, but it is precived as a high price.. Great work you do ❤🤓Just came across your content yesterday, and I am mindblown and so inspired ❤
I think sometimes they don’t even realize they don’t apologize. It’s like once they realize they wrong they jump straight to making up with you emotionally. I’ve had my wife question why I’m still upset when she already said she’s sorry when no apology ever left her lips.
“They” aren’t all the same. I have a woman that has no problem sincerely apologizing and of course I will do the same in return
Nah, they do. They do not care about you. If you were a super hot rich Chad on the other hand, you might get a few I am sorrys.
@@steari there are patterns, blud
@@basedchad6035
Can you elaborate on what are the patterns? I am not sure what you mean and am curious on what you mean.
@@YieldOfDreamz that's just incel fantasy. hot rich men get the same amount of zero apologies. they might get the sex faster though.
In one of the last conversations with my STBXW I confronted her about her infidelity. She didn’t apologize even after our son came in to explain to her why I was so upset. She then resorted to tears and claimed that my aunts & cousins had called her and said I shouldn’t have married her because she was “biracial and came from a broken home”. I easily confirmed that the calls had never been made and nothing like that had been said. When I confronted her with the truth she just stared at me…no apology or admission of the lie.
This inability of women to apologize results in a lack of trust from men that isn’t easily resolved and does long-term damage to present and future relationships men have with women.
Women don't apologize because that's them admitting that they are wrong.
I have never apologized to a woman that tries to emotionally manipulate me after she was the one who messed up, but tries to guilt trip me for "hurting" her feelings.
Very very insightful. I am 54 years old and can also count on one hand the number of times a woman has even appeared to offer an apology. What's interesting is that I not only see this in relationships but also with the many women in my family. The issue is not the domain of relationships only.
I've been with my wife for 27 years. She's only apologized twice. I don't even expect it anymore. It is an exercise of true patience.
I feel bad that you're in purgatory on Earth.
I was with a British woman. Constantly apologizing then immediately continuing to do whatever it was she just apologized for.
That was my ex as well saying I'm sorry things will be different I promise then does the exact thing again then said I'm sorry I promise things will be different that made me angry with her I eventually dumped her arse after 9 months of this as she said she wanted us over now we are practically sworn enemies after 12 years later trying to come back into my life only to show she's never changed since.
This reminds me of my ex. Never apologizing is disrespect and a symptom of narcissism. I put up with for a while, but resentment that I could not have a grown-up conversation with her built up until I left her. Unironically, once I demonstrated a desire to go, she started taking me more a lot seriously, but it's a hard thing to change ones personality; it was surface change and as I figured, it didn't last. My current wife is a lot different. We can be honest with each other and we do apologize when we feel we have wronged the other. Living with an adult who doesn't take your rights and feelings for granted is a breath of fresh air.
100%. My last gf was a narc and she could excuse anything she said or did. The thing is, in the past, women would say something and a week later deny it. With her, she preferred texting so everything she said was in black and white. She HATED being called on it.
She said to me one time: "I hate it when you throw things in my face, it's like I have to watch what I say around you". I replied "you mean like everyone else does? You can't say things that aren't true or you don't mean or whatever pops into your head at the time"?
She just glared at me.
everybody is a narcissist these days, bro..... wtf...
@@ileryon4019 well we are living in that era. things like ADHD,, ADD and narcissism are heightened due to social media.
@@ileryon4019 Not everybody, but most women are.....
My favourite apology from a woman (I'm female too but I have humility) was from my abusive mother. When I left home for university she must have been scared I'd go NC so she "apologized" for making my brother "discipline" me (he was beating me and she would look on with a demented grin) but said that it was my father's fault because he wouldn't do the disciplining. She totally shifted the blame on to my dad which she always did. At the time I was a very traumatized shell-shocked individual so I didn't know how to even process it, I knew it was phony but I had never been taught self-respect, I had accepted my place as the doormat.
damn girl
This is what is called a non-apology. It is meant to appease or even gaslight the recipient without taking any responsibility or admitting any wrongdoing. The classic example is "I'm sorry you feel this way" or "I'm sorry if I offended you", always followed by an expressed or silent "but it's not my fault".
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope things get better for you as I can relate to being the doormat. I had to get out of this and my family members didn’t like it.
“My father didn’t make you abusive towards me. That is entirely Your choice & responsibility dimbass mom!”
my response
"I'm sorry I had to use a spare person to abuse you. I would have preferred to use the first person on my list." Or rather "the way I hurt you was wrong. I should have done it the other way."
For her, apologizing completely relinquishes control of the emotional and social levers of the relationship, and usually that's all she has.
This is why you _have_ to make her apologize, for her sake: She needs to know that she has to give up social and emotional control in the relationship, if only once in a while.
And its a catch-22, the more insecure in the relationship she feels, the more she feels she must maintain that control, which just hurts the relationship
@@GodwynDi what if she is an insecure person in general (which a lot of women are, but don't accept it/ try to mask it), worse what if they are feminists?
True, but you can never let her control you, even in the small stuff. My wife tries and fails every day after 14 years, it's really simple. Respect yourself first.
I realized a couple years ago after being with my wife for decades that she’d never once apologized for anything.
This guy is absolutely spot on. I could count on one hand the apologies I’ve got from my wife, ESPECIALLY after we’ve got married. Even after times when she’s overreacted, blamed me for something I didn’t do, etc. she’d say I should be the one apologising and not her. Then she’d sulk and make faces for the rest of the day, sometimes the rest of the week until I apologise or do something. I love her to bits, but then I realise she’s not unique in this. A lot of women are like that! Her sisters, my past relationships. The only times a woman would apologise is if she’s stubbed your toe accidentally, or spilled coffee on your shirt or something.
And they say men have huge egos.
This is so true. Acknowledge wrong doing and Making amends is key to 12 step programmes, which are about developing maturity.
It’s because they are never wrong
No self accountability as granted by a woman worshiping society
Right on point
right
What are the three most difficult words for a woman to say?
"I was wrong."
that's pretty much everyone's problem...politicians, most of whom are male, find this particularly hard.
@@aeroeng22 Well. I suppose I was wrong to imply that the problem belongs exclusively or even mostly to women.
See what I did there? 😏
What's a wahmens favorite three words.... "I was right".
Their egos are unmatched to any other breathing creature
@@aeroeng22 at least men find it hard to admit it, and probably even would in the end. Women genuinely believe they can do no wrong, and would sooner gaslight everyone else than take accountability.
@@aeroeng22 politicians know what they're doing, every eff'd up thing they do is completely intentional. Why apologize when you're not sorry for something that is intentional? It's like apologizing for stabbing while stabbing...
You've absolutely nailed it here. Seven years ago at the age of 67, I exited a 20 year plus LTR precisely because of my ex's total inability to accept she was wrong and refusal to ever apologise. The respect element of the relationship was gradually chipped away because of this until I could no longer sustain it. There was no third party when we split, and I would add that if my ex had only apologised on occasions, I would have done anything for her. The problem destroyed something with the only woman I probably ever truly felt love for. No replacement has been found, by the way!!!!
It's better to pay for it. Make men your best friends. Women are nothing but a depository like a toilet. At 65 I've found peace and need absolutely nothing from females.
Replacement? You're 74 it's literally ogre bro
@@city_of_coompton6832 Tell that to Mick Jagger
Thanks for commenting
I hope you find a lovely woman to spend time with if that’s what you want.
All the best.
Women who refuse to accept fault and apologize are emotionally immature.
Let’s all call it what it is; her attempt to apologize without just saying three easy words is nothing short of pure manipulation. She would rather lay on her back than look you in your eyes, say sorry and own her own faults.
So true . AND US GUYS FALL FOR IT . DAMB PUSSY MAGNETS .
And that right there is the exchange that’s unfortunately made between couples all over the world sadly.
This is bang on and a bit cathartic for me, my wife never takes responsibility for her actions never apologizes or admits fault other than basic platitudes like ‘I know I’m not perfect’
It has taken a serious toll on my level of respect for her and as a result is the catalyst for the downfall of our relationship.
It started with one significant event where she seriously fucked up and instead of owning up she tried to tell me I just need to get over it.
I’ve never been able to treat her the same since that day
props
My guy, consider leaving her if this behavior continues.
Man this is universal! I've gone through the same stuff and I gotta say chances are it won't get better. Five months ago though. How are things now?
Refual to apologise is (1) deliberate lack of regard for the feelings of others and (2) evidence of stagnated emotional growth. Whenever ive apologized in both my personal and professional life i have found that in 90% of occasions my relationships have strengthened, not weakened.
That has been my experience too. I have only ever received three apologies from a woman. One was my sister, one was my mother, and the other was my teacher. Three, in my entire life.
Wha about men
@@eddyalonsomoramorales6069
From my experience, it seems that men tend to apologize more frequently. Of course, there are some who don't, such as my father, who never admits his mistakes. However, generally speaking, I've observed that men are more likely to offer apologies upon recognizing their errors, in contrast to the women I've encountered.
@@Marco_My_Words matter of experiences an thats the point
The whole idea that narcisism ego and lack of accountabllity are women traits is painfully hilarious
The fact that this man is psicologist is Even worst 🤦🤦🤦
Anyways My experiences have been different i know if You talk to other men and women You could find out
You are speaking from what You have seen and i resoect that just like me but....
You don't think is kind of Cocky to believe thats your mom sister and your teacher are the only good mature women out there🤣🤣???
All this modern women nonsense ends on the same place🤣🤣the lovely and not hipocrite red pill🙄😆
Just My opinion but the sonner You run from this type of content the better
Just My advice 🙃
@@eddyalonsomoramorales6069
I'm do believe that there are other mature women who are good. My deceased mother, despite some good qualities, was abusive throughout my childhood. She's a very poor example for a good woman. She was everything women should not be, except for a few traits. My sister, on the other hand, is exceptionally good, truly a good woman.
My beliefs obviously stem from my extensive interactions with numerous women and men, having spent a significant portion of my young adult life outside, engaging in conversations with hundreds, possibly thousands, of people. Our judgments are naturally shaped by our personal experiences. Hence, I don't rely on the government or others to shape my understanding of the world, as their perspectives might be heavily politically biased. I trust in my ability to observe and evaluate situations more neutrally on my own, using my own common sense and criteria.
I'm really skeptical of the current tendency to accept information just because it's presented in social studies or the media. My own experiences with social studies classes, whether in person or online, have shown them to be heavily biased and leaning towards feminist and left-wing ideologies. I find it hard to trust such sources, since they're similar to the views of radical feminists. Believing what the government or the media says also seems very naive to me.
Everyone's arguments, including mine, are influenced by our own personal life and experiences. While your views may be valid, they could also be swayed by the media, just as mine could be influenced by other factors.
One of the many reasons I am married to the woman that I am. She doesn't find it hard to admit she was wrong whenever it occurs. To foster this behavior, I have promised never to blame/fault her for any [perceived] transgressions - to make it easier for her to be comfortable being open and honest with me.
things like this make women feel unreal to me. my parents raised me to understand the importance of an apology, both coming from myself and also from someone else when they wrong you. both my dad and my mom are like this. it really is a sign of respect between people. the large majority of my social circles are like this - I simply refuse to stay friends with someone who cannot admit when they're wrong. even my most hotheaded friends can. but barely any women are able to... I have only one female friend who I've actually stayed friends with through shit for this reason.
I'm also realizing both women I have dated so far were unable to apologize. The first never admitted any wrongdoing, and the second would hit me with the "I'm sorry you feel that way." I'm going to make sure I don't end up with a girl like them. I hope you all do the same, and are successful.
I wouldn't be caught dead even holding hands with anyone who steadfastly refused to ever apologize. That shit should get flushed after age five!
My parents didnt teach me shit I just adhered to golden rule. No wonder women choose sociopaths who abuse them. Its golden rule for them.
Sometimes the best thing that can happen is dating someone who teaches you what you don’t want in a person. Don’t think all women are the same. I have my wife now bc of the horrible women I dated before her. The bad ones taught me what to look out for.
@@steari you're a man though. You learn lessons and don't let the experiences fuck your perception of good women in your future. In fact you appreciate them more and dont pine for past abuse. I've never met a woman who doesnt wish her ex worked out even if he was a piece of shit. She'll compare you to every dude she been with and nothing you do will be good enough and the burden of performance is the highest for you compared to dudes in her past, while she gives you less than she gave any other guy and treats you worse.
And that's not to mention if she comes with kids and emotional baggage.
I've never met a woman who her past made her a better partner for a good man. I've met women who her past leads to her taking advantage of a good man though. No thank you
@@ethosterros9430 You're hanging around with the wrong kind of people my guy. Branch out.
I had 10 year relationship and the only time she genuinely apologized is when she left
That's sad, but good riddance. Now better than never
I actually got a long, full apology from my first wife a few years after we divorced. When she had no incentive to apologize, and it was so in depth that it showed she REALLY thought about it and re-interpreted all of my actions in the positive way she could never see while we were together. It was the best apology I've ever gotten and it helped my damaged soul to be honest. Nobody ever gives HEARTFELT apologies in my experience. Just apologize barely good enough to get out of consequences. So I think the after the breakup apologies can be valid and healing.
Apologies are love based - you apologise when you are in the wrong, realise that and care enough about the other person and the relationship to want to fix it.
No apology means one of those things has to be missing
I'm 71, lots of experience in this department. You're 100% spot on with your analysis about women Not Apologizing. Mine always cooks something that I can't resist, like lasagna. In the early years she used to go buy beer for me.
Beer, lasagna, ya ya ya you could get that if you want. You were into that satanic slits don’t lie. The devils hallway.
Who can forget the famous line in "As Good as It Gets," when the writer Melvin Udall was asked how he wrote women so well. He responded, "I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability."
This is extremely accurate! I legitimately can relate to the notion of only being able to count the number of apologies on one hand, in my 27 years of being alive, from women.
So many things in a nutshell, that took me 65 years to discover the hard way , i wonder if i would have listened 25 years ago ? Probably not, but please keep up the good work, not everyone is as thick as me.
I hate when he doesn't thank donors
props
Only narcissists never apologize.
And feminists. It would be "the oppression" for them.
This could not be more spot on. I learned long ago that my emotional response will always be the problem.
I believe that for men, each argument a woman force, is a cut into the bond between partners. More arguments > more cuts > weaker bond. At one point there will be deeper and more cuts than the strength of the bond, and from here the relationship just gradually dies off. I only stay in healthy relationships, I don’t allow any cuts, and make this very clear from the beginning of the relationship. If she’s not able to agree on this, then I won’t waste any time on/with her. Never simp, no one is worth it regardless of how attractive or sweet she is. Poison is poison regardless of the looks, just stay away. So by filtering out argumentative women, I’ve been blessed with great women that are a joy to be around.
BTW, if there’s an apology to be had from me or her, I make sure that it always come, it’s a requirement in my relationships. I do try to be the first one to apologize in the beginning of the relationship, to show that it’s ok, and that it shows strength rather than weakness.
A woman’s apology serves merely to blunt consequences after being caught. In order to truly apologize/repent, women would have to be capable of empathy with men.
I have the diamond in the rough with my lady cuz she apologizes, I remember the first time she did, I was caught off guard cuz none of my past girlfriends ever apologized
I, as a man, would like to tell ladies and I might be speaking for multiple men, that the only reason I want an apology is so that we can acknowledge what has happened to be not right, discuss improved behaviours and move on, that's it. This sets a positive precedent for the future and makes things simpler. My intentions are not to lord it over you, or get some moral high ground.
You're asking women to be rational and reasonable. That's way too much to expect.
I've been married for 41 years, and I can remember maybe 2 times my wife has apologized. She just pretends nothing happened and says nothing. I hate it.
I've only had one woman apologize to me and it was many years after the fact. Amazing!
I have a friend who told me his ex apologized to him many years later after the fact. And one of the reasons that she mentioned why she was apologizing was because now she is the mother of a boy...
I'm so sorry, I don't have an academic degree. I'm a simple guy from Russia, and I have this opinion: it's hard for women to apologize (especially if you force a woman to say what she's apologizing for) because it forces you to take responsibility for what she did. (which is already horror in her mind) and also find herself from a position from below.
1:19 "admit wrongdoing when its appropiate"
Thats where the problem lies. They never know when it is appropiate. They truly believe that what they feel is the only truth. And they always feel full of themselves, they always feel they are right, they never feel they are doing something wrong, hence they never get to the point of self accepting that they are wrong, because in their minds they never are. Thats why they cant admit it. Its like asking a blind man to see something... but the blind man is not really blind, he is purposely just closing his eyes all the time.
Brutal!
This guy gets it. If they don't feel bad they didn't do anything bad. And if you hold them accountable for their actions then you're being the bad-guy because you're making her feel bad!
Just like children
I’m a Christian woman and I do apologize when I’ve done wrong. I try not to, because Christianity teaches we are to live peacefully with others and should not go around hurting people’s feelings. 🇨🇦
I've been married with my wife for 6 years. She has mad me very angry about 5x. And before I met her, I was the kind of guy who gets angry once every 5 years. She never said sorry once, but she does change her behavior. Her ego was to big to say sorry but she does change her behavior after my anger.
I am giving up on someone who completely never recognize their mistakes and never apologize for anything..no accountability…
Interesting. In my experience I have met many women who apologize for everything. Which made me think that they really weren't capable of apologizing seriously. I turned out to be right. When they did behave in a manner that required an apology, they actually felt victimized by the emotional response they got. Truly mind boggling.
Growing up with 3 sisters (I was the only boy), and bonus 4 cousins (who were like sisters) next door, I can relate a lot. My biggest take away is that they never feel they did anything wrong to you when upset. Even if you had nothing to do with what upset them.
Having an old school Mexican upbringing, I was pretty much taught "Don't take it too personal, it's just women and their emotions. You be a man, have patience for them and get over it."
This of course only applies to women in my life. I'll be damn if I allow women outside of it to get away with BS.
Sounds frustrating.
@@Ingisen Sounds strong - accepting reality and cope with it
@@eltwarg6388 So, enabling bad behaviour is 'coping' with it, huh?
_Mm-kay_
@@eltwarg6388 Sounds like a recipe for creating monsters. I prefer "All genders are equal so everyone is responsible for their own actions."
Why what is natural to women and not to men should be considered bad?
"Does this square with your experience?"
Hell fucking yes! I've been married for almost 20 years and my wife has apologized to me less than handful of times despite saying or doing something warranting an apology more times I care to remember over the years.
You are spot on about us men respecting those who take responsibility for their actions and words. We value accountability very much.
I love women in a purely platonic way, but this makes me appreciate my husband even more.
We resolve our disputes in a logical, factual manner. No tears, no screaming, no gaslighting, no blackmailing.
- I'm sorry babe. I realise I did you wrong.
- As long as it doesn't happen again, we're good.
- Thank you. Now that I understand how this has hurt you, I will never do it, because I love you.
- Thank you for owning up to it. I love you too.
Gross
Damn. I wish I were gay. 😅
@@brokenfingers9607 Gay men can be extremely shallow but they are still far better than the alternative.
@@brokenfingers9607 You don't need to have sex to have strong, long lasting relationships. Gotta reprogram your brain. Open relationships are most likely legal in your country if you wish you were gay. lol
@Broken Fingers idk I've heard that gay domestic violence gets really really bad.
This made a lot of sense on my constant fights with my mother. Also, I recently had a fight with my girlfriend, she screamed and insulted me (first time in 5 years) I was overwelmed and hurt, I let some time pass and in a calm/good moment i told her that we should never address things in the heat of the moment, that I have never insulted her and that i didnt want that to happen again, I wasnt going to hurt her that way and that the way she reacted it hurt me and she didnt apologize.
5:30 chad move.
One important point that you didn't mention is that if she's able to distract you from her wrong behavior instead of calling her to admit it, she's actually making you sign a contract acknowledging that that behavior was acceptable, hence replicable.
Wow.....this made sense of many behaviors of my girl in my past relationship. Thanks a bunch. She did know that she was wrong. She just "apologized" without words. It hit the mark when you said, "She'll just "wait for the mans discontent to blow over". She would get way out of line and blame me for things I never did, and then the next morning or day when we talked, would act like nothing happened.
I sometimes questioned my sanity and recollection of her actions and the situations that took place. What a trip.
I’ve noticed this as well. I’m 62 and a woman apologizing is indeed a rare thing. Most often if they do something wrong, they deflect, change the subject or most often, make the man out to be the bad guy.
This is purely pride, arrogance and mostly *EGO!* Women like to talk about men’s so-called ‘fragile egos’, but the reality is that their egos are often much, much more fragile than ours. This leads to women often being emotionally quite toxic, though they are rarely seen or described as such.
Women need a lot of counseling, but they just don’t think so and their egos lead them to feeling that their *feelings* are superior to logic and rationality. Still love them though lol!
I'm so glad someone is finally talking about this.
My ex wife one time when she asked me if I’m upset with her, I said yes and she goes “yeah, you’re always mad about something”. She was always trying to make me out to be this angry unreasonable person. While I was the only one that said something. When she was mad at me, it was silent treatment or storming around, slamming cabinet doors, etc. When I was mad at her, I would go to her try and talk about it. I wanted it resolved. I don’t like tension in the household. It’s unnecessary and annoying. She’d rather be mad for a week then have a conversation and get over it.
Yeah, I lose respect for someone that doesn't apologize. Especially since I used to find myself always apologizing when I wasn't wrong. I experienced this this pat summer with someone I was getting to know. Her attitude shifted out of the blue one day for about two weeks. When I confronted her, she said "I didn't know you would feel a way" I was done then and there. Not one apology. She tried bringing gifts but I was no longer interested at that point.