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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ค. 2024
- Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone’s silent treatment? Or have you given the silent treatment towards others? Many people believe that giving the silent treatment is a dignified response to an argument, but it is not. The silent treatment is a form of ostracism. Therefore, a passive form of abuse. It is employed with the intent to punish someone and thus yields harmful repercussions. In this video, we'll talk about the psychological reasons to explain why you feel that way and how harmful giving someone the cold shoulder can be.
We also made a video on another form of emotional abuse - emotional blackmailing. You can check out the video here: • What is Emotional Blac...
Writer: Sara Del Villar
Script Editor: Rida Batool
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Alex
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
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bit.ly/3bku45K
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it’s so frustrating and painful... a lot more than when someone is just yelling mean things at u
im the type of person that can get pissed and even harmful to a person when they would give a silent treatment to me. >:(
@@eletgres519 then your might want to reconsider which one of your are in the right because its not you
@@raz5003 Since when is becoming aggressive good? Or, harmful? That is not appropriate, either. They're in the wrong, as well.
Yes. I agree silent treatment is damn worst ever! Very inhuman! . It's dumb ass! 💩
@@raz5003 there is a difference between speaking your mind, and harming someone for refusing to talk to you
It’s the most emotionally painful thing I have ever felt
Absolutely. Had 51 years of it from my mum.
It's like being encased in ice in a world alone.😢
Me too.@@katherineh9814
If someone gives me the silent treatment, I just walk away from the person, continue my life as normal, and I don't even try to talk to them or patch things up. I ended up hurting some people's feelings that way, and even made a person cry doing this. Which is funny because, they didn't want to speak to me, and I'm just respecting their wishes. People do this BS, because they want to watch someone hurting over them and watch someone fight for their attention and approval. I refuse to feed into any of it, if you can't talk to me like a normal person, bye.
I really need to be like you
when this kind of thing happens to me, I start wondering what have I done wrong and thinking I'm guilty for their silence. I'm starting to get better on this, but sometimes I still get anxious tho (sorry for my bad english, I'm just a brasilian girl trying to communitate :) )
@@danivalonga5233 your English is great
Good for you. I've never received the silent treatment until now but have managed not to give in.
Sometimes when dealing with people who refuse to listen to reason and acknowledge their fault, its best to use the silent treatment to avoid future altercations and even violence.
Very much on point! That's what I do as well, I never give them the satisfaction of abusing me emotionally.
1. It dehumanizes the other person 1:23
2. It emotionally manipulates the other person 2:01
3. It denotes rejection 2:29
4. It instills self esteem issues. 3:08
5. It produces physical pain 3:39
6. it destroys relationships 4:02
I hope I could help! :D
Thanks!
Thanks
thank you!
Love
You did help thank you!
Don’t let the emotions bottle up - figure out another way to communicate & understand how the other person likes to communicate
If ONLY everyone thought like that 😞
When you try that people repeat the same mistakes or try to brush it under the rug and pretend it doesn't exist there's 2 ways as the person being brave enough to communicate the person either doesn't care what they said to you vs actions or they know the truth would mess up a flow they have going on such as gossiping or lying or creating a image of another that others believe in that isn't really them and you being the one to expose it for the bigger picture and bring it to the light you made yourself enemy number 1 they may talk big about communication or agreeing with about being real and the second it's time for them to act on their words it's either silence or taken as a threat
so am i supposed to break down and cry right now
A friend I had didn’t talk to me for 8 months. No explanation, no reason, no fight beforehand to give me a possible reason why it happened. It hurt a lot, because i had no idea what I did wrong. They just avoided me and blocked me so I couldn’t even ask why. Turns out they were having problems of their own, and they didn’t mean to hurt me. I got a very sincere apology, and I’m trying to mend the friendship little by little, but it still hurts every now and then. The silent treatment is worse than a fight, because it seems to last forever and you don’t know what happened, so if you are mad at someone, walk away, take a breath, and talk to them again when you are ready. The friendship will thank you later. 🙃
Same thing happened to me. Suddenly we were back in each others life and then almost a year later they did it again. No closure. It was the week of 9/11. The country got bombed. My young cousin died. My grandmother died. Another cousin was diagnosed with breast cancer. Another cousin was virtually trapped on Long Island and could barely call home let alone come home while her husband and father-in-law both police were helping out in the city. My company I worked for started letting all of us go from our job. It was Hell and I left her a ton of messages and...nothing. It's been 20 years and I saw her once and she glared at me like I was a pariah or something. I have no idea what her issue is but that's the whole point of it. To make me feel bad, to make me obsess over her and to never, ever, ever resolve this and have closure. She really did a number on me.
...thank you. I really needed to hear this. now I know a bit better how people felt when I did this. It sounds painful. I hope you can still stay friends and maybe if you'll get through this your relationship will become stronger ✨
@@calanthiarose oh god I am so sorry that all of that happened to you! I hope you are doing better now, no one deserves to deal with all of that😔
Been going through the same thing rn.
I have a friend who is experiencing a similar situation right now with another one of her friends. Typically, a person’s behavior is more due to their own struggle more than it has to do with the person that they are taking space from. Try not to be too hard on yourself or take it too personally when this happens. I know that it can be easier said than done. People aren’t mind readers, but can often create stories/reasons in their mind that can negatively impact their emotional health. It is a good idea to believe the best, unless communicated otherwise.
The silent treatment hurts me more than someone hating me honestly.
Yes that’s how I feel😢
Same is the worse way to treat someone I rather get scold at rather than being silent out without a reason worse still is so dehumanizing
I remember there was a time when my ex used the silent treatment on me for weeks. I asked him to tell me what I did wrong, tried to be as calm as possible, but he said nothing. I started to doubt my own sanity and eventually broke it off with him because I got too depressed and anxious. Honestly, it's one of the worst experiences in my life.
I’m there right now with an ex as well. I spent the last month feeling beyond anxious, depressed, and full of self doubt - trying to figure out what exactly I did wrong (if anything).
I'm abit at that crossroads my gf is doing that right now and it's really mentally agonising
I dated someone for 8 months then brought up something that I was concerned about and he shut down. I waited three months for a response before breaking it off. Thought if I was just calm and patient I would eventually get an answer. I didn’t and it f-ed up my mind so badly for a long time. Took me a long time to process and make sense of it all. If they can’t dignify you with an answer within a two week span maximum (depending on how long you have been together) then they are not worth your time and effort. I learned that the hard way and I hope my advice can save at least one person from that anguish. I wouldn’t wish that pain upon my worst enemy.
I’m going through this right now. It will be two weeks of silence tomorrow. I have an exit plan, and I’m leaving in the fall, but it’s so hard because I still love her. I made so many excuses for her behavior, but I can’t be in denial about this one.
@@fuzzylesterI hope it works out for you. My ex gave me the silent treatment for a week over a misunderstanding on her part. I ended things & blocked her for my sanity I can’t take the constant fights anymore.
The difference between silent treatment or when somebody takes his/her time
Somebody who takes his time will come to you after some hours or maybe 3 days but often will explain it to you at the beginning of the relationship or after the first incident
Somebody who does the silent treatment.. Ignores you .. And gets satisfaction when you are in pain
And gets angry when you don't seem bothered that's silent treatment..
They have the energy to ignore you purposefully while somebody who takes his time has no energy for anything than the progressing of the problem/situation and tries to go inside
The difference is.. The first needs time and trusts in you and your relationship
The second is entitled and cant take the time to sort things out in their head so they immediately project their problems onto you
Tlnr
How is this comment a week old?
@@athenadraws7703 time travel💃
@@lcvelydaph nice yumeko pfp 🤗✨
@@athenadraws7703 ty!
My dad would always give me the silent treatment. He would talk bad about me like I'm not even there and pretend that I dont even exist. I hope this doesnt happen to anyone else, cause that freaking hurts...
Unfortunately you’re not alone buddy, I know it’s painful but in my opinion a parent who does this to their kid should not be considered as such. Parents need to gain their child’s trust and love, not demand them and then destroy their self esteem...
it does to me
It happens to me too . But now I'm trying not to get hurt by it .....
Well. Better not having a father, like me 😢💪.
It still happen to me too. He ignored me out of nowhere. I hope you'll be okay..
The silent treatment is what tore my last relationship apart. He would always do this to me.. and then, when I finally had enough of it and left, he still kept it up, saying nothing at all. Hope his pride makes him happy.
That's how I cut off a friendship, because I've got the silent treatment from him every time. No issue was ever discussed, he'd just plant a wall.
Eventually, I got tired of dealing with a child, and I was hurt badly in the process of realizing I wasn't the only one wrong, he was wrong too.
And how bcz you express everything they say nothing and it makes you feel like a bully so y walk on egg shells and when someone won't even put up a fight about anything, it makes you feel like they don't care.
Sometimes,the silent treatment is necessary ,especially around Abusive people ,talking to them leads to more rejection and pain..
Yeah this is exactly what I was thinking. The silent treatment was the only way to cope with my emotionally abusive parent. Any words would be used against you.
Then it’s not silent treatment. Silent treatment is not a reaction to abuse. You disengaging from someone hurting you is just you cutting ties and setting a boundary. Silent treatment is a passive aggressive form of (often manipulative) communication, which usually happens when someone can not healthily communicate their emotions, not because they are being abused.
It can be a result of an argument, but also simply from being overwhelmed or feeling hurt/offended by something the other person did. The big difference is that people who apply silent treatment often don’t want to/dare to communicate about their emotions, causing the other person to feel pressured to come back and apologise. It’s really a world’s difference from what you are describing.
Also I do want to add that there are forms of abusive relationships in which the victim starts applying silent treatment simply because the abuser does. It is quite common but still not the victims fault.
@@loesberghs2001I do the silent treatment w everyone. Not something I'm proud and js realised it comes under narcissism ngl . I use ghosting also , they also do the same to me , but I should work on myself . Idk what to do , I feel like going to a therapist
It hurts, but eventually it wears off. It can take a long time, but it will happen. In the end it will all be for the best. People that are cruel enough to do the silent treatment don't belong in our lives. The key is once someone gives you the silent treatment and you're finally feeling better do not let them back into your life! If you do you will have to start the whole process over eventually. That person will not change.
Didn't know the silent treatment can be so damaging. I thought it would be better than saying something I might regret later on but maybe it shouldn't go on for more than a few minutes.
Thanks for this:)
Glad this video helped!!
That's what I've learned to do: say that I'm not speaking as I'm mad or upset and may say something I don't mean or that I might later regret. It's a much healthier way to deal with the issue and if the other person is able to see your efforts of trying to maintain healthy communication lines, they should only respect you more x
My mother did this to me repeatedly since I was a child. If I said anything that she might find upsetting, she would give me the silent treatment for days. Most of the time I wasn't even aware of what I had done to upset her.
same here; she did it a lot around the holidays after her dramatic declaration that we kids "ruined her CHRISTMAAAAAAS"....we were left shaking our heads a lot in that house :(
Same. Experiencing a ST now. Had 51 years of them. I’m close to being done with the relationship.
I've been on receiving end of the Silent Treatment and it was painful, I just move on and forget about that person because it not just healthy.
Silent treatment is extremely manipulative. If someone is giving you silent treatment the best way to deal with them is let them be. Once they realise that you are not going to give them the attention they crave, either they will start talking to you or they will let you be. If the first thing happens you will sort out what happened and live on, if the second one happens you will get rid of a person who doesn't value your relationship.
My mother use to give me silent treatment a lot. I told her next time you are angry with me tell me specifically or If you give me silent treatment for it, we will never talk again. And she stopped giving me silent treatment thereafter.
If friends give me silent treatment. I just stop talking with them. Have suffered a lot in my childhood because of this attitude. Not anymore.
The problem is that I don’t want my partner to let me be when he gives me the silent treatment :(
My mother giving me a silent treatment is the most worst traumatization I have ever felt🙂
Parents disciplining their children: *"I don't see the problem here"*
FumetsuNoSenshi my mom hasn’t talked to me in four days :(
@@jjjjblahblah me too , from friday 5th to tuesday 9th . the longest shes gone without talking to me was a week and a half eventhough we live in the same house :(
hope you're okay though
@@jjjjblahblah it's been 2 months. Is she talking to you now?
@@5am-yj5fw yea im talking with her again, thank u for asking :)
@@jjjjblahblah it gets better. I remember telling my mom I needed to see a gynecologist bc she told my insurance I don’t need it. I told her and she asked why and when I opened up to her about me having sexual relationships she didn’t talk to me for two weeks.
This is why when I see my toxic ex at the gym I don't give her the time of day despite her efforts to try and get my attention and literally hover around me during my entire workout. But she put herself in that position so I don't have an ounce of remorse as she started playing games so I left her which honestly hurt me to do but sometimes you have to let go of the things you love in life to move forward.
The last person I dated constantly did this even after I told them how I felt about it. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, it can really mess you up.
I will never allow this to happen to me again.
I can relate :((
but then I learned that he has avoidant attachment style so I forgave him
Same
I've always thought the silent treatment is so pointless. I'm glad science has my back 😂
Edit: I'm talking about people who are petty and just want to ignore others to punish them not exceptional cases
I haven't what if your been abused like me you're not exactly gonna be talking
@@keiron.4612 in that case it's totally acceptable. I'm talking about people who get into petty arguments and they stop talking to each other instead of talking it out.
Sometimes it's hard for people to talk
@@amana1480 it's different saying "I'm sorry I don't feel like talking right now" than just ignoring someone to punish them.
@The Genderqueer Cringy Emo you should work on that, it might be hurting the other person, unless they're ok with it
You can take some time to process emotions but be sure to express them once you do. It’s never fun to be left in the dark.
I just like doing it when they know what they did already
It never is fun to be left in the dark, especially when it involves you! Silent treatment is just juvenile in my eyes. If one can't put their big boy/big girl pants on and talk out issues, then what's the point of continuing the relationship?
@@tommygunn6901 Because they know what they did and they should've never done it, they don't deserve to be spoken to when they intentionally hurt me
@@christmastree6817 and that's your right. I dealt with such things starting with my upbringing where most of my family displayed passive aggressive behavior
It's the perfect response to abusers.
FACTZ
Totally agree. Also a perfect response to narcissist’s as well 👍🏾
But it will not address everything.
But when you do it to an innocent partner YOU are the abuser
@@thatguywithachainsaw5703 facts and it can cause health problems
I have been guilty of the silent treatment and been a recipient of it, it is not a great feeling a tell you that. I would say only use it if it helps you calm down for a couple of minutes before you express your feelings to the other person.
Not silent treatment but silence instead then come back to the conversation at a later time
I always received silent treatment when i was still a child up until now the difference now are i'm not crying silently anymore. I feel like i'm dense now and kinda used to it. I also realize that i am now also using silent treatment to others. :(((( It makes me feels bad.
Same here .
same here
🙏
Same but I still silently cry
Same here
I see it as a form of passive aggressive behavior. I'm not gonna lie, it's been next to difficult for me to reach out for the reason of feeling turned away.
@Introverted Artistt correct! I started noticing these patterns a lot more at the end of 2018 and started to strengthen my boundaries soon after
I feel like that too, my sibling was usually the one who I was with most of the time ever since we switched to homeschool, but lately, they've been ignoring me, pushing me away, or do actually acknowledge me, but shows literally no interest in what I'm trying to tell them, but it's usually the first two, and the more they've been doing this, the more discouraged I feel from ever talking or opening up to them, because I feel like they'll just ignore me or push me away, so I feel like I have to pretend that I'm okay, when really, I have a few breakdowns when I'm alone because I feel like I can't show any emotion other than happiness or no emotion at all, because they might see that as me showing weakness, and I don't want them to see me as weak...
Not harmful when it is your only choice because they are ignoring you and cutting you off of their life. Plus I treat silence as my healing time. Silence is golden. 🙂🙏💞
My friends been giving me the silent treatment for 4 months. Tbh I don't think they're my friend anymore 😂😐
:(((
Same here should I try talking to them..
@Introverted Artistt I would but I've known them for 3 yrs and we were rlly close
A "friend" gave me the silent treatment without any explanation for about a month, and i dont consider her my friend anymore
@@emilydoesstuff5597 happened to me not that long ago and I've known my friend for maybe 4 years and I really feel heart broken not gonna lie about that so I really think cutting out people is a good thing to consider then just dragging it out even if it's painful like I would honestly rather be alone and not have friends for the rest of my life then surrounding myself with terrible people
Amount of hurt and self doubt it causes to the person on the receiving end is just so painful. For days you cant concentrate on anything but overanalyzing
every action or conversation and keep thinking is this relationship/friendship so fragile and cant they sense the pain it will cause me not talking to them. Such a horrible thing to do to someone especially over minor things.
Who else is really clingy to their best friend because they have abandonment issues and is scared to lose them so watches this video to learn and understand why some people give you silent treatment.
This is accurate. I'm emotionally drained right now, I do not know what to do anymore. It has been going on for almost a week now. The only thing that keeps me going is my 4-year-old daughter. I feel like I cannot explain myself and am completely useless. It's hurting me to the core. I do not want to feel this anymore. :(
I write myself a letter of what I want to say to the other person and I don't write it thinking of them responding. I write like they are silently focusing on my words.
The letter isn't about connecting to them but disengaging from the feeling of needing their approval to make closure for myself.
You have your child and you'll have adults to talk to as well if you really want that.
You aren't worthless just because someone has a shitty way of handling conflict.
Try the letter thing and if you really want it heard read it at an open mic poetry event.
Sometimes the silent treatment is all you can do. When you've expressed your boundaries ad nauseum, & your partner claims they are ok with them, then decides they are an attack weeks, or a month later. I agree that explaining to the person, I need time to process is totally reasonable. The other party should give them time, but they don't get to decide when you've processed your emotions. They don't get to dictate when you "should be ready to talk about it." Human beings are complex, & wired differently than each other. I did my best to communicate that the relationship was unhealthy, & toxic for both of us but they refused to accept me saying I'm done, & it's over. In the end, I had said goodbye so many times, in so many ways. Yet they wouldn't let me go, I said goodbye, & stopped talking to them altogether. I had to give the silent treatment for my own sanity.
Agreed. A very similar thing happens between me and my father recently. Even though I really want to love him, I just can't do it and I have no choice but to stay away from him or when he's close to me, give him the silent treatment when possible, because he was abusive when I was a kid. He emotionally and physically abused both me and my mom when I was a kid, and I have to bottle this up through all of my teenage years because he was getting more "friendly" with me, but this doesn't erase what he did to me on the past. The damage was done. And when I couldn't bottle this up anymore and I just let it all out, he just prefers to praise himself instead and call himself a "good father" in which, he was clearly not. There were other things that happened also that contributed to me getting distant and silent to him recently.
So, in this case, yeah, I agree. I have no choice but to stay away and give the silent treatment to him, because I know he's blind to his own delusions of grandeur. And that sucks.
@@lokkilucas1 I apologize you have to deal with a relationship that constantly tests your boundaries. It must be exhausting for you. I hope you keep honoring yourself, by doing what's best for you. I have to keep telling myself I'm doing what's healthiest for both parties by sticking to my boundaries, I can't take responsibility for others feelings, just my actions & my feelings.
I think it's okay to apply the silent treatment in the situations you described, BUT it's not OKAY to do it if the other person just don't know how you are feeling and doesn't even realize what you did wrong, or expecting that they understand eventually what they did. Just no. I think this is actually the point of this video. However, if you already talked so many times with about the current problem, and they just seem to not care, okay, you did everything possible, so not talking more to them is sadly the only option, and this time is not wrong to do it.
That's not silent treatment though. That's just cutting ties with them. Permanently.
What you just described is not the silent treatment. That's be assertive and standing up for yourself. The silent treatment is a passive aggressive communication style mostly used to by certain individuals to deal with conflict. Being assertive is a healthy form of communicating especially when negotiating and solving conflict. I would say you have great communication skills and ahead of most in that regard.
I do this a lot when I get hurt by someone. I do this to protect myself but it's good to learn that it's not okay
Here from the future haha! While I'm here, make sure to take some time for yourself today, do whatever you love and let your problems fade away💕
How's this comment 5 days ago when the video just uploaded?? Or am I missing something?
@@lttletae I’ve got skills
@@zeina8631 Hahahaha I see
@@lttletae Actually though, this channel keeps all their videos unlisted until its time to post, but keep them in playlists. So if you look through their playlists and find a video with barely any views, it’s most likely unlisted and you can comment early!
I give the silent treatment because I will just completely shut down. I suffer from depression and sometimes I really need to talk to someone but I am usually dismissed as if I just don’t matter. I just stop talking to people. What bothers me is no one seems to care to ask if I’m ok. Many times I’m not. If someone is giving the silent treatment it may mean they are going through something and they really need a friend to talk to. Just let them know you are there when they’re ready to talk. It’s not always easy to get out of the silent treatment.
How the heck do people “time travel”-
I need to know-
Two words: Time. Stone.
@@thanosthemadtitan4105 lol
🤫
They have a Playlist with videos or something like that I think
patreon or channel memberships
Remember it’s always better to try to talk things out! :)
This speaks to me a lot. Getting the silent treatment so much that I started feeling like a dog that wet the carpet. It was so irritating.
I was married for 10 years to a person who’d do the silent treatment to me very often, usually for days and even weeks. At the end of our relationship, after multiple therapists and self help books I finally had the strength to tell him that what he is doing is hurting me deeply and he said “Good. It means it’s working!”
My parents were giving me the silent treatment for many years. There were times when my parents didn't talk to me for a week or two. During this time, my parents didn't tell me "Take care" before school, nor welcomed me when I got back home. They totally shut me out of their mind.
If someone gives me the silent treatment, I cut them out of my life quickly & completely. I don't care how much I loved them. Cutting them off also hurts me but it's better than feeling rejected. I don't care if you are family or best friend or best colleague. If someone gives you a silent treatment, they don't love you that much. In fact I avoid close relationships now because it's just not worth it. People have baggage & they take it out on you.
With that way of thinking you'll never form a relationship with anyone. Sometimes people just really need to cool off. And you should let them do that instead of having their anger boil over to where they do something unforgivable.
Sometimes you ignore people becuse of their disrespectful ways, specially if you been good to them and they take you for granted.
The silent treatment is used by cowardly, covertly narcissistic, passive aggressive, bitter people who see this tactic as a way to make themselves look like the bigger person while simultaneously abusing the other party.
the silent treatment would be a lot better than the constant yelling.
Being ignored and having things quiet for a change would be bliss.
No,it's the worst feeling being ignored while living in the same house
I can only say that the silent treatment is always pointless. Then again, so are ultimatums. I can't deal with them to save my life. Ugh. 💔
honestly i would just prefer someone to tell me to leave them alone. plain, simple. that way i know at least. i always feel like i'm tip towing around people. i ask if there's a problem or if we're still friends and just get ignored. if i'm draining, tell me so i can work on it. if you don't like me, tell me so i can leave you tf alone. if you need time, tell me. people just expect me to put in an absurd amount of effort for the smallest acknowledgement or even respect and i just can't keep doing that to myself. i'd rather just be a hermit for the rest of my life at this point.
Sometimes it’s best to remove yourself from certain unnecessary situations. Even if it may hurt the other. But you will have to confront it eventually.
My narcissistic father often used silent treatment as a way of punishing me and my housewife mother for not having enough money at home to buy essentials... I was a kid back then!! I used to end up thinking that I am the cause for the financial loses and having no money in the family. I would be so sad that I remember once I thought of jumping off from my school's terrace and end my life that is causing so much inconvenience to my dear father. The financial loses is because he was bad at finance... He has grandiose thinking that he is the best and only businessman out there in the market, take horrible financial decisions and when loses occurred he blamed my mother and me for being in his life and give us verbal abuse then silent treatment for months. I had no one to talk to, he would make sure that he insults me in front of my friends and schools.. for example if I got a call from my friend for homework matters he would make sure that he yells verbal abuse at me and my mom in the background. I was so humiliated. He would tell his relatives on the phone that his daughter is useless, a educated fool.
So after growing up i realised to shut him from my life. Now whatever he does i give don't any reaction to it.
i really don’t have control over it when i’m in pain or mad with a person i stay silent i can’t talk, until we talk about it and solve the problem. most of the time they will just leave it like nothing happened and talk normal but that doesn’t work with me
Your ego is way too big ,I think
I had 2 friends before who when I would get hyper, excited, say something they didn't agree with, or talk about something they didn't care about those friends would start to ignore me. It hurt a lot. I would start questioning what I did wrong, and I'd criticize myself. I had very low self esteem and I think I had an inferiority complex (I might still do), so please just communicate with others, don't look down on them, don't ignore them, and don't only listen to them when it benefits you. Just be nice
This assumes that talking actually works. If the person is playing the victim, has borderline personality disorder where everything is a trigger, it's best to leave, take a break, or disappear. For good.
I feel like this kinda describes me tbh but I can't self diagnose :P
Repeated silent treatment has been one of the worst things I've ever experienced in my life.
There's no feeling, no anything and you wonder what you've done wrong now.
I don't get why people would treat others like that without any reason :/
To control them and make them scared to the point they do what that person wants
@@magicalindigoadult3838 exactly
As an ex Jehovah’s Witness who was shunned for years by my friends and family I can absolutely agree with this video. It’s one of the most emotionally abusive experiences you can go through.
It hurts. My ex used to give me silent treatment and it made me cry multiple times. I never knew why he was mad at me and I was worried for him.
Just communicate. It may be hard to find the right words, but it's better for you both.
I got silent treatment by someone who i made first priority.......the first time, i thought they were just joking around and so i played around and try to get their attention thinking its fine....then days go by and i started feeling rly awful, i ask our mutual friends why they were giving me the silent treatment, all our mutual friends say she will go back to the way she is soon, which she did after about a week.. i was happy that shes back but at the same time i feel like i dont like the silent treatment, then we got into an argument and she gave me the silent treatment again. I think it was due to the argument but the second time i feel not confusion but mental stressed, i didnt wanna make her more mad then she is, i apologize and take back everything i said, but she stills giving me the silent treatment, each time i see her she wont talk to me even so i still say sorry, then i realized tat shes starting to give me the silent treatment more than usual, idk why but it started to hurt my chest, at times i even have to control my tears when we're together with our mutual friends...it hurts so bad all i can do is pretend like it doesnt bother me, i tried to do other things to get it off my head but my anxiety makes me feel like its all my fault, i did something wrong i deserve it, im so mentally tired tat i try to get use to it. I tried to avoid her as well, i told myself tat seeing this person who refuse to talk to me for no reason is just like me stepping on fire on my own accord, so i distance myself, then she soon came to talk to me, it hurts so bad i rly did tear up and pretended to yawn as if its just me yawning
Ps. Tat was a year ago, our relationship broke up due to me building up the courage to tell them tat i cant handle it and needed break, then i just made new social media accounts and stop talking to them, im sure they dont talk to me as well so its just like tat, silent between us, it still hurts when i think about it but im trying my best to move on
hey, I really feel you.
this happened to me either and all I can say is that It's not your falt, don't blame yourself, don't be so hard with yourself, communication have to be a mutual thing, so if you're the only one trying what's the point? and I suffer with anxiety too, and it sucks because we keep overthinking what have we done wrong, but try not to do that. At the end it was just a toxic friendship, it'll be hard but you'll get over this, don't worry ❤️ (sorry for my bad english ok, and remember I'm couting on you)
Try to realise that pple that act this way have low emotional intelligence and it’s really a form of control .. anyone worth having around won’t do this as they know what they are doing .. your better off without that negative control in your like make friends with pple who communicate healthily xx
My Father used to give my Mother the silent treatment. I always sensed it was due to something wrong in his emotional world, but only now do I realize that it pushed my Mother to depression and to finally giving up on living in her later, frail years. Now the my Mother has passed, my Father is feeling the regret and loss.
Yes, it can be a form of toxic behavior!
My opinion is if someone is very condescending and disrespectful to you, then respond to that person with silent treatment. Because ppl who treat us with disrespect and condescending remarks do not deserve any attention.
Wow!! Thank you so much for posting this. This couldn’t have come at a better time as it seems the “silent treatment” has been really big in my family as of late. In fact, I recently perpetrated it to my mom - not fun btw. No matter how mad I might be, especially when the victim is indifferent to YOUR indifference. It literally accomplishes nothing. I hate not talking to my family, so this video taught me to avoid doing this as much as possible!
“ eventually gets used to it “ .. nobody even notices my father never talks to me .. for the longest time I cared .. now I just hate him .
Unfortunately same has happened to me . But hatred can't help you dear . Love yourself and stay happy ... Spend time with those who really love you 👍😊
My mom: so silent treatment is a treatment?
Psy: Well yes but-
My mom: *ALREADY IN USE FOR 14 YEARS*
haha. well, "treat" does not always mean "cure". sadly silent treatment is not a good way to treat people
U say 14 days I say months
I appreciate this insightful video. Thank you. I experienced the silent treatment as a child from my father, who was my only parent, and it would go on for a week+ with him slamming doors/cabinets to remind me he is angry at me. I totally forgot about those experiences and feelings until watching this. Thank you again for all the awareness you are raising on so many mental topics. You are improving countless lives with knowledge. So powerful. 💛
Ugh, bad timing. This week someone mistook my silence as an indication that I wasn't interested in their friendship. I'm just awful at talking and generally on edge when I have to. I've been doing my best to not feel like all failing friendships are my own fault.
I’m currently experiencing the silent treatment from individuals who I thought I could trust, but now distrust and mistrust is developing towards them, and I’m questioning the future with them.
This video helps me to maneuver through this situation currently.
I did the silent treatment before, well, just not wanting to talk, because I was tired of getting into arguments and trying to explain things.
And it was always me going to try communicate when something happens.
At the end, I didn't give a shit, she would use the silent treatment, and I wouldn't give a fuck, so in essence I was doing the same.
We broke up shortly after, and I'm so tired of being in relationships and having to carry the emotional shit on my back.
This should be used as a last resort.
Sometimes, it is the last way to show that you have been hurt, before you decide to end anything and everything.
It is easier, I believe to just end things cleanly, and with finality, when you realize that a person, does not have your best interests in mind, and at heart.
For me, this last resort has worked in my favor, in the end, as difficult as it has been, on my side, as well.
I have purposely tried to patch things up with family, years later on, after distancing myself from them, for years, and forgetting about them.
But, with family, it is different.
I forget now, why and how I decided to reach out to them again.
But, I did.
With a large family, it is a hit and miss, whether you can patch things up, enough to communicate, even through differences.
But, I have attempted this.
As for romantic relationships, if I placed distance anywhere, it was for good reason.
If I feel that someone does not have my best interests in mind, or at heart, I will disappear them, and forget them.
In time.
Who has the energy to hold onto people who don't want to be held onto.
I don't.
I recognize that some people just need to be let go of. But everyone also deserves closure. If you’re ghosting and disappearing without providing the reasons why or closure, you… are… a… monster
I'll admit. I have given someone the silent treatment before to my cousin around same age as me (13) I did it because she did something really bad and attempted to point the finger at me. I felt so mad I didnt talk to her for weeks. She would often reach out to me but I wouldn't respond. I saw this as a way to cut toxic people out of my life. Not trying to sound like a jerk but I'll admit it felt good that I wasnt talking to her. I put my time to people who were kind and thoughtful. Mainly my friends and other family members. I heard she felt really down that I was refusing to talk to her. Keep in mind it's not the first time she got on my nerves. Not mention the fact she shamed my friend for having a few spots on his face. And the fact she bullied her 3 year old sister. I had enough. I know silent treatment can be mean but in this case the best decision is for me to keep her out of my life as I'm not convinced she is sorry.
Example. Shed always get on my nerves and say sorry but end up doing it again. It's been a few days and I still haven't spoken to her and heard she is fine now. You might have mixed opinions on my comment of you see it. But please tell me what to do. I always see her as a toxic cousin and I felt better that I dont talk to her. What do you want me to do. Should I reach out to her or keep going my separate way and focus on the good people? Bear in mind I do not see her as a good person for me to be around.
Thank you so much for this video. I have received silent treatment and trust me, it's the worst thing that somebody could do to you. Since the silent treatment works only if someone you care about and are close to gives you, it hurts somewhere deep.
And if the perpetrator's intention is to deliberately make you feel guilty, and if it turns out to be true, it's better to just move on from the relationship/friendship. That way you help yourself, though that's hard.❤️
When someone is doing the silent treatment, its because the other person (the one in the receiving end) is being a jerk in their eyes
Facts👏👏sometimes it's better to stay silent then to speak
As a victim of the silent treatment twice now it hurts and I can relate to all of these issues and repercussions of the silent treatment. It truly hurts, it feels like you’re putting up all the effort to figure out what the problem is and you’re just getting ignored. Then you start to feel guilty and you start to overthink all the things you did wrong and your brain just makes you see them worse then they actually were. It hurts even more when you find out you’ve been given the silent treatment and didn’t know it. It feels like you trusted that person to tell you when something is wrong and could work things out with that person. It hurts and it has caused me more anxiety and depression and intrusive thoughts than I can deal with. no one should ever have to feel that pain of the silent treatment. No one should be giving that pain of the silent treatment and that emotional and physical pain. If you’re one of those A rods who does that shit go eat a bag of dicks and work on yourself instead of telling others that they need to work on themselves.
Agree man! i had to put up with 45days of silent treatment, all my alarms were off but i had to fake being normal on the outside, it messed me up so bad i lost 5 Kgs weight. luckily i knew what value i bought to the table and walked away without making a scene.
I can confirm this video, when I was an exchange student in college, a girl stopped talking to me one day and next day all my classmates stopped talking to me until last day of the school year. I ate alone for 10 months and it gets to a point when you kind of forget the sound of your own voice. Never knew why.
I feel you. this year, I entered engineering school. this year, I entered engineering school. I sympathized with a girl, the following week she ignored me and still does. I feel bad. (Srry for my english)
That is so horrible im so sorrythat you went through that
Damn ,that's cruel ,hope you are feeling okay now 😊
Even though my mum is not abusive in the slightest, whenever she's angry with me she stops talking to me for long periods of time. I've gotten so used to the silent treatment that I do it myself now with people I'm angry with. It's such a horrible habit to have, but when I'm angry with someone, the last thing I want to do is talk to them. It feels so bad.
That is abuse. She is abusive. Generational trauma right there.
This has been done to me since early childhood. She is still doing it. I'm going to need to get off of this Merry Go Round. Time to stop internalizing, recognize this action for what it is, and refuse to join misery. This will be my LONG OVERDUE gift to myself. Thank you for this video.
I hope you've the strengths
As an introvert..I don't call it silent treatment but as a way to say "please give me some space to think/reflect" or "I don't know what to say or what I should do right now." When i'm ready, I just talk to the person. sorry for my bad English...
please say it in before you do the silent treatment tho, because my ex gf was just like you, and its hurt
Tell the other person then and give a time when you’ll return to discuss things. Otherwise it’s incredibly brutal and toxic.
The silent treatment is emotional abuse
this channel was also the channel that helped me with my mental health. and when i send it to other people who are having struggles it helps them. thank you.
This is how my husband reacts when we have an argument or having uncomfortable discussions. He gets very angry and closes up immediately and when I try to otuch him, he pushes me away - while I became so scared and nervous about what I did wrong. He won't talk for 3 days and while this is happening, I was either hurting myself (banging my head on the wall, scratching my arm with sharp objects) as a punishment for making him angry and this went on for years (actually until now) and as an after effect from this, I am now suffering from Fibromyalgia and depression.
When dealing with someone who's untreated borderline personality disordered/ malignant narcissist no contact is best.
This reminded me of one “friend” that would literally PLAN silent treatment whenever her and I would argue with another friend. “Ok, so we’re gonna ignore her for 2 whole days! Don’t say anything to her, ok? 😌” She would always laugh at how upset she made people when she gave them the silent treatment, it makes me sick. Funny thing is, she’s giving me that treatment now 💀 I’m not affected by it in the slightest anymore. There’s no point. I expect this kind of attitude from her anyways.
Stay clear of narcissistic pple
I once got silent treatment and when they started talking to me again after two days, I started crying while hugging them. I think it’s mainly me; I have a lot of attachments issues due to past experiences.
It's important to separate the differences between Silent Treatment and Time Out, AND to make sure you're clear when putting a Time Out to things.
Everybody does NOT share the same perspectives, experiences, and mindsets. When being social and sociable, we have to understand from time to time, "Feathers get ruffled". There are arguments that are often silly, pointless, or petty and have no realistic end, no matter how emotionally bonded you are to your perspective. To insist upon pursuing the argument is no better than taking turns smashing your heads against a wall. It's no more healthy either.
Take the Time Out to "just not discuss that", and if that carries that there will simply be no conversation at all, so be it. Get untangled from your own emotional BS and make the conscious decision that your friendship can still be worth investment, even if you can't possibly reach an agreeable consensus on the given argument... say... one fandom over another. It's no reason to destroy a friendship. BUT you both probably need to be able to back up and process through the idea that your individual fandoms are NOT your whole identities, and if you can't... well... that's NOT healthy either.
Silent Treatment is childish... primitive. It's among the most immature of things that adults have been popularly engaged in. AND if anyone is willing to engage in it, then they're NOT the kind of reasonable, mature, or sophisticated adults that I need in my life... Life's too short to tolerate primitive childish BS, so I highly advise YOU do not engage in or tolerate it either. Cut them off and walk away. Surround yourself with people who are actually grown up and intelligent. ;o)
For real, I've had several friends silent treatment for about 1+ days and like the "fuel" that made us friends went away so fast.
Currently have a friend that is giving me the silent treatment 😖
I've been overthinking for several years after being ostracized for 2years before. This video gives me an answer and new insights, i feel validated 🥰
Thanks for doing a video on my suggestion!! I appreciate it! 😊
Hello everyone. Have a nice day.
- from a time traveler.
Yay I’m on time and I love your videos and your videos are really helpful!
Cries cuz my mom does this everytimeeeee
I'm sick I feel like everyone hates me and even if people change their tone a little bit I legit start crying (like real tears) cuz I think they hate me :((((
ne
try to ask yourself why you think they hate you and why it's so important to make sure noone hates you. it may help and help you find out more about yourself. stay strong and remember you're worth it and you're enough 💞
@@hel2727 thank you so much😭😭😭💕💕💕
Same. Experienced anxiety in adolescence due to verbal abuse and silent treatment in childhood. Im living alone now, so im healing.
Same bro but its my dad it traumatized me so bad that I cant even look at him properly anymore
Thanks! You help me and probably thousands of other people get through their problems!
This is so true. It causes physical pain and eating disorders.
Is it still silent treatment when I'm just tired of putting up with someone else's shit? Like a good online friend of mine that I've known for like 7-8 months now has been chasing girls like crazy recently. It's been the 4th girl in like 6 weeks now. He's super lonely, he definitely is craving love, which I DO understand. But why is it that he literally goes for any girl that happens to show up and then ignore all of his friends who he always does stuff with? He always goes head over heels for every girl, then declines every offer when we wanna play games with him and then when things dont work out with the girls, he comes back to us and even complains to me when we dont invite him. It feels like we're gap fillers for when he doesnt have a girl and I honestly am weirded out by it and wanna distance myself. I'm not purposefully ignoring him, i'm just not initiating anything, really....and neither is he, cos hes with that girl, 24/7.
I feel like this is a good question. I think being tired of someone’s shit is a good reason to excuse yourself from the relationship.
I’ve gotten to the point with some people that I’m just over dealing with their shit and being blamed for things that I have no control over. I get tired of walking on eggshells around these people and would rather spend my energy on things that are going to bring me happiness, not things that are going to wear me down. Is it the silent treatment when you’re done and just don’t want to be involved with that person anymore, for your own mental health?
Called "new supply"......don't stress he's not capable of real love. Just a new victim.
I think you're completely valid in setting boundaries with people who aren't good for your well being! Usually, if you want to give this person a chance, it could help to open up with him about his behavior and how it's making you feel, and then after that, if nothing changes in his behavior you can move on. I went through a kind of similar thing with a one-sided friendship that I decided to end, but it's not like she was reaching out and I gave her the cold shoulder. Since she wasn't initiating at all unless she needed something, I decided that it was perfectly okay to not initiate and focus energy on friendships that were healthy for me. It would only be bad if you were purposely ignoring him in order to prove a point/hurt him, but setting boundaries with people who have hurt you is completely justified and I would argue even necessary for your well being :)
My dad is giving me the silent treatment not calling me , when I call he’ll either ignore my phone calls , feeling like he won’t call and when I called him his phone goes straight to voicemail and one time he gave me the cold shoulder I cried for days💔😢
I remember my older sister do this to me when I made something that is wrong for her back when I was young and it's not healthy at all, no wonder I got sick easily before and you know what's the worst the feeling of thinking it's all your fault because of none ending silence and you don't know when it will stop, watching this video enlighten me so much.
Is insane how your videos at the perfect timing with events of my personal life
I love the animation style! This video was very informative, glad I could travel back to see it
Glad you enjoyed it!
gasp! i've time traveled once again! great video :)
This gives some great insight on cause and effect of the silent treatment for the person on the receiving end. Sometimes people are doing it consciously and sometimes it can be done unconsciously. Someone may be triggered as a flight response and may do it to gain space and process the situation, especially when they don’t feel heard. It is never a good idea to continue a disagreement when one or more people are escalated, because they don’t use the logical part of the brain and are in their reactive or primitive part of the brain. This causes the reactive person(s) the inability to hear each others point of view, because they are trying to keep themselves safe(even if the disagreement is small.). When someone is escalated, it is best to use fewer words. The trigger stems from a resurfacing of shame, guilt, or unmet needs in their subconscious. If one is ever in a disagreement and needs space to de-escalate and process, it’s a good idea to communicate that space is needed(Sometimes it is easier said than done.).
Someone important to me gave me the silent treatment. In order to cope with it, I wrote them a ~30 page letter. This helped me feel as if I was giving them the option to listen to me in a timely manner that they chose. And If they didn't read it, then it would show to me the kind of person they were. It really helped with a lot on my end, and instead of feeling insecure, it helped me get all that unnecessary insanity out of my head so that I could move on in life. I didn't do it for them, I did it for me, and I think that is why it helped me a lot. It was hard not to expect a response, but in reality, its a lot easier than thinking as if my words would produce a result.