10 AUTISM TRAITS IN GIRLS(:
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 14 มี.ค. 2022
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Due to being so emotional, I had a teacher in 6th grade who would tease me for crying, saying things like, "Oh, here come the waterworks!" Looking back now that I am a professional who works with children and know that I am Autistic, it makes me so angry because it's so unprofessional
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Honestly adults who bully children are cowards, it’s like pick on someone your own size. However despite that, you sound very successful and proved that teacher wrong. It’s a blessing children with autism have someone like you to look up to, and know someone understands. You should be proud. 😌♥️
That sucks, reminds me of my 4-6th grade teacher, I used to struggle with brushing my hair, my brain just hated it, and this one teacher(my contact teacher) kept picking on me about it, one time when it was really bad I'd hidden it in my hoodie, she, Infront of the class, loudly pulled it out and said I needed to do something about it, who the hell does that
Same, in 5 class teacher told me to stop crying likw a crocodile
The teacher probs didn't understand
I was also bullied by teachers and even other kids’ parents. Called a fussy little b$&ch among many other insults because of my sensory issues.
I’m not diagnosed with autism but I do have adhd and oh my god I relate to the whole “structured creativity” thing SO HARD. I can’t come up with new ideas for art on my own without a prompt or something to jump off of, which is definitely a challenge since I’m an artist lol
the great thing about this is that there are no completely original ideas! creatives just get really good at synthesizing. i started writing fanfiction when i was little. now im an author and my stories, books all develop from a mix of real people, history and fiction
What EJ said!
After a lifetme of misdiagnoses, including BPD and then finally Dysphoric Bi-Polar Disorder which I was treated with medication and counselling for years including a period of 12 years when I was in and out of a Psychiatric Hospital like a swinging door, and then, three years ago, I am 57 now, I was diagnosed with ADHD and it was as if all the lights were finally switched on and all the crazyness made sense. This diagnosis was made by my family doctor and later confirmed by a specialist. During my time in hospital, which was the most lauded University Psychiatric hospital in Ireland with Clinicians at the top of their game, nobody spotted that I had ADHD and in fact, the treatments and consultations I was subjected to only served to make me feel worse which is why I kept being re-admitted. I too am an artist Valerie and can totally relate to what you say about drawing a blank when it comes to getting an original idea but I grab a bit of inspiration from somewhere and it keeps me going😁. I try not to be too bitter about how different my life could have been if only some of these psychiatrists and psychologists didn't so easily jump to conclusions but it is done now and sadly, from what I read in the comments, many, many people are still suffering the fallout from a failure by professionals to diagnose Autism in favour of this plethora of other potential disorders.
I was diagnosed with ADHD but I have been off my meds for over a week and feel no different, so I wonder if I even actually have it or maybe it actually IS autism like I've been thinking since 2014.
I think everybody uses something jump off from . Its how ideas form. Ideas dont come from nothing
For my fellow autistic ladies/theydies who need a timestamped list:
4:08 #1 Mimicking others
4:53 #1(A) Being very rigid in routines
5:51 #2 Being creative (caveat: in a structured way)
8:47 #3 Having careers that involve: caring for people (or animals), teaching, music, and/or other creative pursuits like dancing, acting, theater, etc
9:17 #4 Excelling in certain areas of life (e.g. genius intelligence, perfect pitch, hyperlexia, impeccable memory, etc)
9:33 #5 Intense, forced eye contact (as a way of masking discomfort with eye contact)
10:41 #6 Struggling with nonverbal communication (e.g. misunderstanding body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc)
13:02 #7 Being highly sensitive (perhaps being called "crybaby," "drama queen," "annoying")
15:40 #8 "Exploding" or "releasing" at home (or maybe spending a lot of time alone in your room) as a result of masking all day at work/school/etc
18:06 #9 Difficulty *keeping* friends (despite making new friends easily due to masking), having only 1 or 2 close friends, not belonging to a group, etc
21:10 #10 Having a very strong sense of justice, "black and white" thinking, egocentric perspective (struggling to understand other peoples' viewpoint when it differs from your own)
Shout out to Paige for putting this together! On a personal note, 11:51 floored me...THANK YOU for sharing such a vulnerable experience in regards to how missing social cues relates to "light coercion SA." I'd never heard of that term before and I finally have the words to explain some truly uncomfortable and violating experiences I've had in the past. This has been so informative and validating. 🙏💕
It's all within me except trait 1 and 6
Thank you!
Amazing, thank you!
'Egocentric perspective...' seems like a trait of the vast majority of politicians/religious figures, etc., methinks.
well that sounds like a lot of me
Thank you so much for this video. I need to apologize to my daughter in the morning. I have told her more than once, “I’m going back to work because you only act like this when I come home and it feels like you don’t want me here.” Putting it into terms that make so much sense, that she has been masking all day and she doesn’t have to do any of that with her mom, is so much more of a gift than I can even explain. I appreciate you and I wish only good things for you. Thank you!
This is really beautiful I wish you and your daughter the best
Youre a good mom
I really hope my mom will accept the fact I'm very likely on the spectrum one day. So far she won't even consider it bc she only knows the stereotypes of boys
I am learning far too late that my mom was also autistic. And both my sisters. So it's easier for me to forgive her for not having the type of relationship with me that I wished we had.
Thank goodness for my dad. He'd come into my room if I was quieter than usual and ask what's going on. I miss them Both so much and just wish we had all known so much earlier. My older sister finally admitted to me that all the women in my family of origin are autistic And her first born. But she didn't think that I was. But I'm the only one who also has epilepsy since I was 14. Maybe being treated for that was indirectly treating the autism too? Apparently there is still a negative stigma with it. Sisters won't even talk to me now. Our house growing up was pretty much filled with fidget toys. Puzzles, visual things, matching colors , lava lamps. Mom was a psychologist so maybe she studied that to understand herself better. We all studied the STEAM subjects. We're all very creative despite science based occupation for the few able to work.
This made me tear up. Yesss!!!
"being shallowly friends with eeeeeverybody" describes it so well for me. Also, meeting every person in a unique way, trying to understand them and then present myself or well masking i guess in a way thats suitable for them, but then its really weird when i would meet different people at once...
OOF is this why I get incredibly anxious when 2 ppl I'm friends with seperately meet? Im putting on a different performance for each person...
@@KD-ou2np woops thats too many storylines to keep track of, but its also that each person you meet, you feel a little difference in the dynamic and that person so it makes sense that you are naturally going to express yourself a little different with each person. I think that is basic socializing
I used to be like this back in primary school, but then I just pulled a 180 and now I barely talk to anyone at all, irl anyway, I find it way easier to form friendships online
Yep. I’m a completely different person around everyone who knows me, because I try to be the me that I think every individual person wants me to be.
Yes multiple People makes me feel panicked
my drama teacher at 15 told me i was incredibly skilled at acting and had "great stage presence", and I'm like "thanks I've been acting my whole life".... 13 years later, guess who copped an ASD diagnosis after years of feeling like an alien. big love to my fellow autistic SLAYDIES. we all deserve Oscars for our exceptional skills.
Right? As a teen I vividly recall telling my psychiatric nurse mother I was struggling w anxiety, depression & self harm. She said I seemed fine. I told her quote "I may be the best actress in the world." She was a very loving mother and did get me help. But diagnosis was not ASD. Was anxiety mainly. I am 44 now and last week my youngest of 4 daughters age 15 just got a ASD diagnosis. She is very much like me. I have always homeschooled her bc 3 days of pre-k was all she could handle. . .
THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME AT 15 FROM MY DRAMA TEACHER
@@warriormamma8098 okay, I am so grateful you have shared your perspective. You've given me a lot to think about.
forever referring to myself as a slaydy even though im transmasc
@@warriormamma8098 yeah i’ve been told i seem fine too 🧍🏼♀️
"I can give people all the facts in the world, but they're still idiots."
You have absolutely no idea how hard I felt that.
Yet no one has all the facts in the world. Isn’t it nicer to be of help to others and not feel irritated by your perceived inadequacies in their pool of knowledge? There is no such things as idiots.
I'm trying to figure out if I'm autistic. The part where you talked about getting home and breaking down after a long day of masking was so relatable to me. It kinda made me cry cos I actually felt seen.
Thanks for educating people about this 🙏🏻❤
Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Oyalo for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this good news
@@DhhskkHehdis Wow thanks so much person I've totally met before... I always knew I was a great doctor. Yep definitely thats me!
I’m not autistic, but my childhood best friend was. There are many things that I wish I could go back in time and do-over with the knowledge I have now. I resented her for a long time because I didn’t understand how she dealt with her own hidden struggles. Thanks for your helpful perspective!
As an autistic person who lost friends growing up over the stupid shit autism makes you do (and has childhood traumas that can make me think this way myself); don't worry too much about the past. You did the best you could with that you had AND the brain development you were at back then. I highly doubt your childhood friend is upset over it with you, and you're allowed to feel how you feel towards someone regardless of why that someone behaves the way they do.
I lost a lot of childhood friends of many years because they didn't understand my obliviousness/strange behavior, and as they got older, they considered me immature and bizaarre. they seemed very resentful, and i didn't know why. to be frank, I'm still not sure exactly what I did. to hear that you feel this way about your childhood friend with autism is very touching.
My best friend was autistic too now she’s dead and I’m lost I’m so sad I missed my only best friend I have loved like I love my daughter she died on Mother’s Day she had no kids but she was the god mother and aunt to my daughter and they were both cancers and are both perfect Jessica was my only friend who I love so much I miss her dearly she did not only have autism but I love her so much she accepted me for who I am and I accepted her for who she was I love her 😍
People are shit. They love judging others for sport and only feel bad when it bites them in the ass. Then they just want people to pity them for their shitty behavior.
Hey do you have any advice
The way she uses a sing-song voice to say certain things is something I do too. I'm 22, diagnosed at 17, and weird voices are a huge part of my day to day autism coming out. Idk why, I say most things in a funny voice of some sort, or sing-song everything. Mostly happens in situations ranging from mildly to very uncomfortable. Watching her, I've realised this is /another/ autistic trait I'm just now picking up on
It feels too serious and almost wrong to NOT sprinkle sing-singy words throughout my sentences 😀
Yes this happens to me too. Now i need to tell my mother to stop asking me "why are you talking funny"?..... im just talking
ive wanted to sing song my whole life and been told to shutup every single time
Yes also I copy accents without meaning to ,I was recently in hospital and there was an Irish nurse with a strong accident and when I got up she’d be like “morning Natice” and I’d be like (in an Irish accent ) “hallooo there “😅 luckily she loved me and we had a good relationship but sometimes I get worried people will think I’m making fun of them but it’s like my brain just does the accent xx
I sometimes make weird noises while driving to actually help myself focus more.
Holy crap. Thank you for this.
My ex-wife exhibited nearly all of those traits, which led to so, so much conflict in our lives, and ultimately really part of why we ended the marriage. I can't help but wonder whether, had she been diagnosed- either early or as an adult- with autism, if that would have provided a framework and reasoning enough for us both to understand the dynamics and work around them.
The oversensitivities, the constant fatigue, the shutting down, the masking and it's contribution to difficulties with maintaining long-term friendships.... All of this is to the t what she experienced, so much pain.
I'm happy for you that you were blessed with this understanding and framework to go forward with and help you in life and your interactions as you mature. My daughter is starting to exhibit many similarities, and while her teachers don't seem to suspect ASD, I think it's time to get professional medical opinions.
Thank you.
It's been a while. Have you ever considered trying to rekindle things after this newfound knowledge?
I hope you open a conversation with your ex wife and tell her your suspicions. Maybe apologize for not understanding what was going on. It's hard for us to reach out so I'm sure it would mean the world to her if you could actually SEE her.
Holy moly. I’m 20 and I’ve always known I was a little different but always stopped myself from over analyzing. I related to every single thing in this video and completely broke down. I feels really nice to know that I’m not the only one experiencing this. But now I’m just anxious about what to do about it…
Talk to someone you trust or a professional if you can find one. Good luck
I'm 19 and I just had the same. It feels like I just got the confirmation I can't be like those I always wanted to resemble, those I perceived as normal.
What's reassuring is the realization that regardless of that, there's actually a lot of people that feel the same way and therefore we are "like other people"... Though the others are those who felt the same way after watching this video.
Anyway try to stay strongggg and don't be too harsh on yourself!
I am in the same spot now honestly Im afraid if I seek help I won’t be taken seriously and I don’t even know how to ask haha… this is alot lolll🥲
Hey! Been dual diagnosed with autism/ADHD since I was 15, and am now pushing 7 years with this knowledge. Still a bit of a mess, but now I know why! Here are a few *helpful tips*:
- you should see someone for a diagnosis, if you can. If possible, they should specialize in autism, and if double possible, they should specialize in how autism presents in women. Trauma (the overload of the nervous system due to events we’re not supported in healing from) often co-occurs with autism, and sometimes it can be responsible for different problems. This is good to keep in mind!
- If you are unable to get a diagnosis, there are tons of autistic life hacks you can and should use! I will detail them below.
- if you get a diagnosis you can ask for accommodations!!! Take them! Other people’s opinions actually do not matter, but they WILL change when you reveal your diagnosis, so be wary of revealing it. (I don’t reveal mine until absolutely necessary but I’m working on that.)
AUTISTIC LIFE HACKS that worked for me (vocab to research marked with an asterisk):
1. ASK people to explain what it is they mean by that when they are explaining complex topics you can’t read the subtext on. Some people (especially those with low self-esteem) will assume they worded it unclearly, which they normally did, and backtrack. This doesn’t work on rude people though, sorry.
2. Literally read a book on body language! It helps sometimes!
3. Try stimming* (self-stimulatory behavior) when you are alone or stressed or both. When you’re alone just really go for it. See what you can do.
4. Seek out and then use stuff that makes your life easier. Earbuds for noise. Soft fabrics to wear on bad days. 2 in 1 shampoo/conditioner. Pre-cut veggies, if you can find them. Tell the voice in your head to go take a hike.
5. Join a club specifically for or almost exclusively populated by autistic or ADHD people. You will be so amazed by how symptoms can present in different people who all have similar brains! Don’t just learn about autism, learn about YOUR autism. And of course you get to make some cool pals :) there are lots of online communities for this on discord or other places! Also, join a club for your special interest(s)*. They are probably mostly neurotypical but since they share your interests they will be more forgiving.
6. Your family and friends might not get it, and this will probably hurt. Remind yourself that they are working with a completely different operating system as well as a system of values that were at least partially drilled into them while they were too young to get it. If this is too much for you, try to have at least some parts of your life separate from people you can’t unmask around.
7. You ARE a human being. You might feel like an alien but you are actually more like a four-leaf clover: a naturally occurring variant that people react differently to because of their experiences with the majority of clovers. That reaction is negative instead of positive because it’s in people’s evolutionary interest to side with the dominant group. But you yourself are INCREDIBLE. You are full and complete in yourself, the iron in your blood from the stars, your brain a ceaseless survival machine built over millions of years. You’ve got this!
24 and I've just realised it recently after crossreferencing several sites, taking several tests and finally, watching tiktok compilations :D Honestly, it's all about learning more about yourself from here and recognising your behaviours, or at least that's how it's been for me uvu it's quite reassuring actually, _but psychology is my favourite so_
My friend sent me your first "autism in girls" tiktok, and told me to get an assessment.. 4 months ago I got an autism diagnosis, thanks to you Paige ❤
you got an awesome friend who knows you well please Don t let them go.
that’s amazing!!
How much does it cost? I can never get an answer around the average cost
@@karivanpelt1035 I live in Denmark where we have free health care ❤️
@@BjorkBrex ouch
One rule that I thought I had to follow as a teenager was to smile "politely" while having a conversation. I recently watched a video of myself talking to someone where I smiled for 15 minutes straight :')
That must have been hard. I try and fake smile sometimes but it just hurts my face muscles. I hope you are around more supportive people now who understand that smiling is just one way to communicate or show happiness, and allow you to express yourself more naturally.
@@eleanormaraal5402 fuck same 😂😂💀💀 something’s wrong with me bc i can never make eye contact for the life of me and in my head all i think about is if i look natural during the conversation and how much my face hurts from awkwardly smiling the whole time
omg me too, my sister always makes fun of me for smiling so much haha
story. of. my. life. 😭
Me too. I still do this. I'm really quiet, so I've learned to smile because when you don't say much, people only have body language to go off of. So I smile because I want to be friendly and I don't want to come off as snobby or something. I've been told I have resting happy face lol
I'm REALLY SO glad that I found this!!! My 8 year old daughter was just diagnosed this year with autism when she was kicked out of her public school for not being ABLE to conform to the standards that were placed on her. That being said, she now goes to a therapeutic day school and although it has helped out a ton, she is the ONLY girl in her whole class of just about 8 or 9 boys. We also just got her schools yearbook, and it kinda sucks because each grade for the school only has like 1 or 2 girls for each GRADE!! Her school goes K-high school...
definitely be careful with that and check up a lot if she's still liking it there
She's lucky. I wish I had been diagnosed in k-high school...
Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Oyalo for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this good news
One thing I have to say about the egocentrism is that, people often told me I'm egocentered or whatever, too. But I've found it really confusing and it still pains my brain so much when thinking about it. Because when trying to do everything right, it's like I should only think about the other persons perspectives all the time, which I do. And there just doesn't seem to be any right way to kind of ask another person to concider my perspective.. I kind of feel like I am hurting my brain worrying about everyones perspective all the time, worrying wether I'm concidering them enough at all, and it would make logical sense to me that everyone conciders another persons perspective, which should probably include my own perspective as well. I just feel that this is often overlooked. It's like I'm concidering everyones perspective excessively all the time to the point at which I completely forget about myself and I get insecure wether I'm concidering enough. I feel like I am concidering other peoples perspectives so much, I don't think most people have the capability of even concidering so many viewpoints at once. And when I try to address my perspective slightly only once, suddenly people assume I'm thinking as if the world turns around me. It makes me so sad just thinking about it. It's like all of the effort and energy I put into concidering 1000s of viewpoints has gone to waste.
Hard relate
This 100%
This! You’ve put into words how it is for me too so thank you! Xxx
Yeah, this is why I get so angry when people say autistic people are not empathetic. Believe me, I understand you A LOT better then you understand me, you hypocrite.
Since the final taking of your herbs, my son has been speaking well and responding to his name Thank you Dr Oyalo for saving my son with your herbs. I’m so happy to share this good news
I got diagnosed about a year ago and my mom will not accept it. Her main reason is that I don't act like the autistic kids in the special ed classes at her school. I started to notice when she compared me to the students, the students were all boys.
It was funny before I was diagnosed my parents would get on me about my lack of friends and I was too cold toward people. Then my professor told me to get an evaluation, he was wrong because I laugh. Now that I have a diagnosis the fact that I don't make eye contact isn't a big deal anymore.
1) There was a girl I was friends with from middle school until graduation and I just copied her
2) I was really good a drawing, I even won a few contest. But when I was accepted into an art program at 12 I really struggled. Part of the program was to come up with a theme for your portfolio during the program. All I could think of was nature, like flowers and stuff. I was kinda embarrassed because everyone else in the program could just create these drawings and paintings I'd never seen before and there I was painting a tree.
My worst subject was always English because we would have to all these creative writing assignments, and I couldn't think of any stories. Meanwhile I got a degree in Microbiology and I got high marks for my technical writing and reports
3) I work in pharmaceuticals
4) Me and science
5) I did this with a friend in college. She thought I was playing a game.
6) The professor that told me to get evaluated pointed to my monotone as a clue he picked up on. I have a lot of people think I didn't like them.
7) I cried everyday at school until 4th grade. My dad told me to stop being so sensitive and my mom would mock me when I cried.
8) My parents would complain that my teachers liked me and I needed to be more like that at home. My mom even admitted she doesn't like me that much. My sister would be embarrassed to have people over because I would make noises.
9) It really bothers my dad that I only have 2 friends and it bothered both my parents that I didn't seem to have any real friends (like someone you invite to sleepovers) until I was 10
10) I definitely think very black and white
^^I hope the both of you can be in a better mental space soon
Thank you for sharing your story!
I can't speak on your situation but it sounds like she might not be so considerate of the special ed kids at her school and that's concerning. My thoughts would be to educate her. Unless she's the kind of person that refuses to learn :(
@@torijones5194 Oh my gosh, that is horrific behavior from your parents. It is not normal to mock and laugh at your own crying child. That seems cruel to me. I don’t want to put this the wrong way, but I hope you’re seeking help to heal from that kind of abusive and neglectful behavior because, autistic or not, that takes time to understand that the way they behaved was not your fault. Therapy or “needing professional help” is highly stigmatized and/or financially unavailable to a lot of people, but it’s the only thing that helped me to recontextualize my parents’ behavior. My younger brother is autistic, and my parents honestly didn’t handle his tantrums well at first, but now I have a better understanding that they were working with what they knew and that my dad is almost definitely autistic as well. Also, I had to come to terms with my parents honestly not being that smart, logical, or curious to learn, but instead are rigid and egocentric. Again, I intend this comment reply to be helpful and hopefully it’s not too presumptuous of me to use the word “abusive” because that word carries a lot of weight, but there are different levels of abuse, and it’s not only the worst forms that require healing from. I experienced emotional and sometimes material neglect, which I didn’t know were forms of abuse until I went to therapy. I just could not read your comment without replying, so I hope I’ve helped more than I’ve hurt. 💜
As an art teacher, I can confirm that everything you said about creativity is common among all my students. They need as many rules and references as possible! When I ask my students to draw anything they want, they usually search up photos of other people’s drawings and recreate them. I don’t think this is strictly an autism thing. I think creativity is often overlooked in school and when finally given the opportunity to use creativity, it can feel “wrong”. Anyways, I think it might be more uncommon to not think this way. Just an observation from my own classroom.
I think so too. I take an art class where I don’t think anyone else is autistic, well maybe one who masks really well, but they all live references.
I’m the complete opposite though. I am very creative and I do not like copying. I find a lot art classes, even swimming and dance classes, yo be so stifling. I love doing whatever I want and letting my own creativity run wild. But like it’s really just me. The only time I like copying something is if the process is very tedious.
Btw I was diagnosed with autism. But like I don’t really relate to a lot of what she’s saying. Socially I’ve very different, and I think my creativity has a lot to do with it.
through a lot of research and self discovery i found that what differentiates autism to other mental disorders or even normal human behavior is not the what, it's the degree of intensity. your art students may all enjoy structure but the reasoning and intensity differs. as an autistic digital artist i can tell you straight up, i CANNOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, create an image in my head. it's not a "it's difficult" or a "i need inspiration" or a "i need to practice", it simply is a no-can-do. i cannot practice this, it just doesn't happen for me. i thought for a long time i have aphantasia. nope, just autistic.
@@jemcarstairstoe oh my.. I'm the same. I can NEVER use my ''imagination'' to create an image from my head..It's just blank.
art teachers teach how to copy. that's the only way I was able to make any decent looking drawing. you make a grid pattern on the original and copy each square piece by piece.
Interesting. I would say that I am nearly incapable of copying anything.
Thank you, Paige, for this video. My daughter is autistic. But when she was little there were no real diagnoses or treatments for what was going on with her. I knew things were going on but she couldn't put it into words. I didn't know that her anxiety, skin picking, repeating words, rubbing soft cloth against her ear, poor social skills, black and white thinking, and hyper defiance were part of her autism. She was extremely affectionate and always wanted to cuddle which was nothing like the autism I observed in the clinical setting. I would spend much of our time together holding her. I loved her with all my heart. When you got to the part about feeling outside of others, different and weird, my heart just broke. For my daughter's entire life she did not fit in. I don't think she masked well and couldn't cover her "difference". She told me she cried a lot but I rarely saw her cry. She cried in her room by herself. She did not see me as a support. She was very creative and filled her room with paper art, postcards, paintings, Asian-themed knick-knacks, and other crafts. She told me that people exhausted her so much she didn't want to be around them anymore. The world made her highly anxious. She also felt she was asexual and didn't want a relationship with anyone. Many of her early friends really hurt her feelings. So when she came into some inheritance money she bought some land in the desert, a small RV and storage unit, and now lives by herself. I worry about her every day.
I’m diagnosed with ADHD inattentive type and possibly on the spectrum as well (have reason to believe but not yet diagnosed) and that part about making assumptions and always being wrong hits deep with me. The main theme of my childhood was that I would never know anything unless I was told directly. I didn’t get along well with others because no one ever explained how to do it step by step. If someone at work told me to do a task and there was a variable to it that I didn’t know beforehand, I would have no idea what to do and would need guidance. With my parents, I felt like any time I assumed something was wrong, but also any time I let something sit without assuming was also wrong, and it really weighed on me.
Can relate
there’s new autism research that states for every three autistic boys there are 4/5 autistic girls. this is revolutionary. i just got my diagnosis at 17 years old. i’m 19 now. it’s been a journey. thanks for this video
I was diagnosed at 45. I nearly cried. I never found a compatible Austistic woman because I never knew that's where I should have been looking. 30 years wasted searching in the wrong circles. I'll never get those years back.😢
Do you have a link? That would be good information to share with my Autism group.
17 is young for women to get diagnosed I was diagnosed at 23 and then with ADHD Inattentive at 40
Please share a link if you have one. I would be interested in reading the study.
Source please?
Amen, to this! As a 38 year old woman who wasn't diagnosed until later in life (only 5 years ago), everything you are talking about was me in high school (and before... and beyond). I'm so glad the younger generation has young women like you to look up to. For the record, I'm an educational psychologist, successful, and very fulfilled/happy, although relationships are still hard for me to maintain/desire.
I admire the career you've chosen and how you made it through your journey. Thank you for sharing.
Same!!!!!
You’re only 38 you’re a beautiful young woman too girl 🥺🤍🤍🤍
How do you treat autism?
I understand
"Other people's emotions are not my responsibility nor my problem."
Gotta remember that one
I was so proud of myself when I thought I mastered eye contact. I was like ' Yes, now I can pass as a normal person, and people will maybe like me now!'
*note- it did not I just got really good at unsettling stares and now am great at making people uncomfortable in a new way!*
Another note, I remember going to a gifted kids' camp in elementary school; and I was the youngest girl there by several years, and for the first time in my life without my sister there, I was the cute, adorable little kid instead of the awkward weird slightly older kid, and a lot of the other girls were quite odd too so I got SO much positive attention from them. Still my best childhood experience.
Omg the "creative-uncreative" thing is just so spot on, I did art for most of my life, but I always need some rules. Empty paper sheet scares the crap out of me, but as soon as you give me some rules I'M ON IT. I got all the A's during my school years, because the rules were clear, I always knew what teachers expected of me, so of course I excelled. But at college where things got so much more vague I got soooo deep into my head that I finally dropped out after so many extra semesters when I still couldn't get myself to just meet all of the unspoken expectations with this big ass anxiety and depression. Now I'm back at college, learning to be psychologist, because at this point I figured all this time spent on trying to get inside other people's minds can't get wasted lol
Also: aspie girls are just ultimate remixers lol
There is a drama I recommend you if you like physiology one's innocence it's a Turkish drama you can find it with English subs
I’m exactly the same and I can’t picture images in my head so I really struggle with picturing what to draw ect
I really enjoy making 'art' with photoshop and can work for hours and it feels like 10 minutes, but painting is tedious and I only last an hour doing that. I wonder if that could be needing to do art with rules. I'm also a flute player, but much prefer reading music and feel awkward and completely useless doing improvisation.
bro honestly that’s why I can never answer the obligatory question “are you creative?” it all makes sense now lol. I cannot draw or make anything unless I have some sort of starting point. Plus I hate vague instructions for creative homework because there’s so many things I could do how do I do just one?? Like please give me some guidelines lmao. If i have to make a graph or something I have to look up a template or graphs other people have done in order to even get started
@@bonecag3 YES
The bit about somehow giving a sign that leads to kissing or more and then not knowing how to get out of it is so relatable. I've been wondering if this is common in autistic girls for so long, I'm diagnosed and no one has ever talked to me about it but I just feel like way more education should be out there on how to say no in these scenarios (or any scenarios).
Same deal for me.
TW I guess:
What breaks me the most is knowing that most of these guys (at least in my situations) somehow knew it about me and made me a target because of it. I think normally by testing how I react in an unrelated situation before they did that (example: how willing you let them push on a boundary). And who would believe me because I'm so "weird" anyway. I'm not saying people wouldn't believe autistic girls and women, but that I definitely weren't believed due to some of my traits for it. On the other hand people are always looking for a reason to not believe a person making claims, even if they aren't coming for the perpetrator. I didn't know I was autistic at the time and have only been able to piece it together after learning about how manipulative people work and "scan" people. Especially how obvious it was when looking back at it with a clearer mind.
Enthusiastic consent is very obvious to the one who cares to look for it.
I think the reason for that is this: a lot of the signs that lead to kissing look like general friendliness - so when autistic girls see it, they mimic it because it looks "friendly" - and we're supposed to be friendly, amirite? And girls who mimic this don't know that it's actually more of a Do Not Mimic thing - not unless you WANT a boyfriend and you WANT him to kiss you. And of course the fact that people blame women for being a "tease" doesn't help. For me, I never mimicked those signs - because my mom and dad didn't encourage that kind of masking and also my dad made his contempt for excessive fake "friendliness" known. And since I was one of those rare gals who was diagnosed as a baby, I ended up in a school with mostly boys anyway - masking those "kissing" signs would have been a disaster, especially since many of those boys, while not neurotypical, weren't autistic either. And the one autistic boy I did know in those schools made it clear that experimenting with the idea of "boyfriend" was off the table. And the one family member I had who did ANY kissing signs was (and is) really obvious about it - you know, the whole "Mwah" air-kissing thing. You can't not see that as kissing-related.
Yes, it's way too relatable, unfortunately. I am autistic and have had issues with this. I think I may still have trauma from some of them.
@Niphyra yes. I can totally relate. Once I ignore my own boundaries, it's like my brain shifts into this mode where my goal is just doing whatever I feel the situation calls for until its over, and I become way less present. It is absolutely a build up of trauma at this point. Sometimes I even do it and feel bad after, because what am I supposed to tell the person: "hey I did that stuff with you but I think I actually kind of didn't want to?" I haven't known anyone who sort of took that information well. It makes me feel like I just can't be honest about it with anyone, it's lonely. I don't feel like I have much practice in knowing what I want and being able to sit with my feelings in the moment and actually feel if I'm present vs not. I also think I have been taken advantage of. I've been blaming myself for not saying no more strongly, as if it's my job to make the person listen to my no. But I often say no in small or less confrontational ways and people just run right past it. Or they push back a little and I just switch over to accommodation mode. It often feels like people aren't really hearing me when I talk, as if what I'm saying isn't believable. People challenge me. At this point I'm just used to not sharing what I really feel. And then sometimes, it's like if only I know what I really feel, does it even exist? is it easier to just go along with the story everyone else has of me? I don't know how to be part of the story.
The thing for me was that before I found out I was autistic, I didn’t know how to say no, especially once they became my boyfriend. It was like that last barrier that helped me keep a distance was removed. So, I ended up in situations that I didn’t want to be in, and even hated at times, because I didn’t know how to say no.
Having friends on a very superficial level , but not actually having anyone who knew you is very relatable. I went through a stint duing middle school where I felt extremely alone despite having many " friends" in my classes, I felt like everyone had best friends and I was just a side character who they were just nice to. It feels relieving to knowing why now.
I am a 34 year's old autistic female, and I can related a lot with structured creativity, actually everything you're saying makes sense to me. I'm so happy that nowadays información about autism in females is more accessible. I was diagnosed being an adult and now have to deal with PTSD, lots of emotional pain.
Things my therapist thought I had before autism: Generalized anxiety + depression, Panic disorder(?), social anxiety, ADHD, OCD. Nope, just autism (and anxiety but theres a good chance being autistic in society caused that sooooo) and c-PTSD. Neither of which she guessed. I brought up autism and she said that there was no way I was autistic because there was a "connection" when we talked to each other that autistic people don't have. I told her I had no fucking idea what she was talking about, and she told me to watch rain man. stg that movie is a curse upon our people we caNt eSCAPe
What therapist uses a movie to explain a psychoneurological disorder?
I'm Autistic AND I have ADHD, OCD, and c-PTSD. The OCD and c-PTSD are a result of growing up with Autism and ADHD without a diagnosis or any help. I made all of these little rituals to help myself cope, and ended up with a lot of trauma. It's totally possible to have all of these at once, unfortunately, but I agree that Autism is probably at the root of all of it for both of us.
That's awful! I hope you can find better help because Autism and Anxiety disorders can be more likely with each other. I'm an example of that. When I got diagnosed with Panic Disorder in 2019, I found out that it's more likely with autistics. And I kept trying to meet the expectations of someone with just anxiety disorder, so the recovery took longer than hoped. Luckily, I've accepted both and tried to learn what's best for me.
Thank you for sharing your story!
I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, bipolar 2 disorder, panic disorder, sensory processing disorder and some other things. Nope, it's just autism (: and also dysthymia lol
@Miranda cutie cat misconception that autistic people don't have empathy bc we can't relate facial expressions to emotions easily (there was some study you can look up idk what it was though)
As a female to male trans man who was diagnosed with autism I feel like it's nice to have more people come forward with things like this
I have always felt like an outsider and like I was missing something my whole life. you checked multiple boxes in my book and you have made me want to do research so that if I find that I do have autism or ever meet someone who had autism I can better relate to them. thank you for sharing your knowledge with us and helping us understand amazing people like you! ;)
Paige I'm 52 and the way you talk is like my own internal monologue... A constant feel of information! I was diagnosed ASD At 45! LOVE from UK
I'm a fifteen year old girl currently in the process of receiving an ASD diagnosis and all of this hit crazily close to home :) I really appreciate your content
edit: got my adhd and autism diagnosis
Same. Just got told today I was too [high] functioning for a diagnosis though.
Edit: I got an email sent to my GP for an assessment. Lets hope it happens :))
@@stargirlscinnamoncherry tell them that functioning terms are ableist
@@stargirlscinnamoncherry in fact tell them this:
A word about functioning lables (incl. Aspergers)
Using functioning labels or "levels" of autism is harmful and never acceptable. It contributes to the othering of and harm of autistic people.
To expand on why functioning labels are so terrible...
They are entirely arbitrary and do not hold any meaning. Someone labeled (incorrectly) as "high functioning" may have similar support needs to someone labeled (incorrectly) as "low functioning", or any other variation.
The Autism Spectrum is not a linear sliding scale from "extremely/severely autistic to "normalcy- it is an abstract collection of traits that is meant to show that autism looks different on all of us, despite common traits.
Hans Asperger, whom Asperger's was named after, was a Nazi eugenicist in World War 2 that separated autistic people who were exploitable for the Nazi cause or scientific experiments from those who were deemed unhelpful and then sentenced to death in concentration camps and excruciating methods.
Labels and levels are used by professionals and individuals alike only to separate the autistic community- either to deny supports to those deemed too "high functioning" (something I've seen occur as young as preschool) or deny agency, independence, and autonomy to those who are deemed "low functioning". Functioning labels are used to deny jobs, housing, school enrollment, services such as therapy, etc.
On an individual basis, referring to yourself by a functioning label is just as ableist as, or possibly more ableist than, when others assign them to us. Claiming yourself to be "high functioning" or "Asperger's" or "an Aspie" or any variation of such means that you are actively saying "Oh no, I'm not like those autistic people, I'm better than them." It is never acceptable.
@@MonstehDinosawr that is exactly what I've been telling people ever since Paige mentioned it in one of her videos
As a twelve year old i know i am lucky to have gotten diagnosed four months ago. I wish you luck on your journey ahead. Don’t forget to advocate, you know yourself the best!
Every time i begin to feel impostor syndrome and think maybe I’m just being over dramatic about my autism symptoms i stumble upon one of your videos and relate to LITERALLY everything you say omg
Yep. Same. Hopefully, we figure it out.
Same :')
🍭
Same! She is a big reason I got my diagnosis
What really got me was when you described being highly sensitive and the mask of trying to be "cool". For as long as I can remember I've been subconsciously and consciously trying to mimic and understand the "popular" and "cool" people I observed. They were the example that I set for myself to be like. That was the mask I put on was to always seem normal to them or just normal in general. I could never put this concept into words because it's hard to describe until it was described in this video! I've always felt that I'm a completely different person at home. Also, I've always been described as being super sensitive and overdramatic my whole life. I also relate to loving rules and structure in my life and having things said clearly and directly to me. I'm creative but need a reference or a photo from real life to actually create something. I can't come up with entirely new things.
I'm currently seeking a referral to get diagnosed this year so I hope all of this self-analyzing is worth it.
Also, if you actually read this, thank you for listening to my really random Ted Talk :D
I have tears in my eyes. THIS. ALL OF THIS. EVERY SINGLE THING. You make sense. I make sense. I think I love you now. I was lost and now I am found. No intent to be funny. I mean exactly what I wrote. No sarcasm. No irony. No metaphors. What now?🖖🏻
EDIT: YES. I am aware of the overlap.
I think I've been misdiagnosed with BPD along with several other things, and my mother teaches children with autism. She always tells me I'm silly for thinking I'm Autistic because I'm nothing like the boys in her class... I've been crying during this video because it sounds like you are describing my life to the letter. Thank you for the validation in this video
EDIT: YES. I am aware of the overlap.
@extraor dinare did you watch the video where Paige talked about having an identity crisis when diagnosed because she realized she'd never developed her own identity or
@extraor dinare Absolutely. I've been talking to professionals for 20+ years and all the diagnoses, therapies, and meds I recieved felt wrong for me. Only in the last couple years have I considered researching ASD. Outside influences shut down questions I had about it sense I didnt fit the stereotype of a little boy.
There is nothing wrong with asking questions, but your manner of asking came off as presumptuous, rude and immature
Mental health is a very new field of science. Your mom is probably super familiar with the old model of autism, which is sometimes still considered correct because the research is still under way. Women have only been getting better recognized with it within the last decade or so. In fact, it wasn't even that long ago that autism wasn't recognized as a spectrum (couple decades). It's really weird to think about, but as far as mental health goes, it's like if germ theory was just recently discovered. Maybe share this video with her along with some info about autism in women. I hope you find out for sure :)
Your mother needs to update her knowledge because girls are vastly different than boys. Autism is a spectrum and women deal with it differently than men girls boys. We are different
This is exactly how I feel. Found myself crying while watching this video. I was also diagnosed bipolar, then they said that was wrong and it is borderline, but watching this video describes my life to a T. My mom wasn't a teacher growing up but an interpreter for families that had kids with all kinds of things from autism, to down syndrome to fatal illnesses 🥺 she did this for years and can usually realize if someone has something going on and what that is before they're diagnosed in a lot of cases. Curious to bring this up with my Dr. Also have a 7 year old myself that is on the spectrum as well.
I was always the “quite” one in any social situation ever. The most common question I got by acquaintances was “why are you so quiet?” First of all, how tf do you answer that incredibly rude question… And at the time, I attributed it to my introversion and being generally reserved and observational ie my personality. But now that I’m diagnosed, I’ve come to learn that it was a mix of social anxiety and genuinely watching behaviors so that I could mask around these people. If I didn’t know what they deemed appropriate, I just wouldn’t. I had been shamed enough for my own “quirks” as a kid that I coped by literally watching and learning. And even now, I’m rarely fully open to anyone.
That was the most asked question I've ever gotten in my life. To answer it... I would shrug and keep on being quiet. lol
Right?! It's not like I asked the person that talked too much why they do that
lol I remember that question.. until high-school I finally have an answer to it I just say "Well, why should I? what's there to talk about?" but then I say "haha just kiddin',, I always get asked that, it's just I only talk if someone actually wants to talk to me" then it turns into a pretty good convo lol B) epic.. sorry about this comment. but yeah it did made me feel nervous before.. but now it's something I say all the time. it helps me
Yes! Exactly this. To this day I still don't how to answer when someone asks why I'm quiet. I just get flustered and confused on why they would even ask (especially in a way that implies being quiet is bad). It's funny because a lot of people who have social anxiety are one of the most empathetic and caring people I've met. They understand struggles different people may have in social situations the most.
Im not diagnosed or anything but I can kind of relate to the question of "why are you so quiet?" And also the thing with masking, I also somehow end up doing it unsubconciously and yeah now I have a whole identity crisis now so yay!
I really related to the “heard it once now it’s a rule”. This happened to me when I was twelve. I cried about everything….then my mom (very overwhelmed by a situation out of both of our control) rose her voice and said “stop crying about everything, just talk.” Well, guess what? Now, even a decade later, I don’t cry, I feel terribly bothered and sad over the smallest thing and I don’t cry! I don’t cry in sad movies, I didn’t cry when my grandma died. I try to “talk” about my emotions, but I am just repeating what I’ve heard.
Every word of this video is soooo validating. I was never formally diagnosed but I know I’m autistic. The descriptions of being called a cry baby, sitting alone depressed in my room, never being able to build friendships beyond the surface level, just all of it hits so close to home. I almost cried when you mentioned being an alien because that’s the only way I’ve ever been able to describe what it’s like- being an alien pretending to be a human. Thank you for this, it’s one of the only times I’ve ever actually felt seen and that means a lot
Being young and in school means that it’s the place where you develop social interactions. Together with homework assignments and family responsibilities, many young people are just learning how to balance all these things. If you can understand that others are learning to manage these things just like you are, then you will no longer cry and you’ll gain an understanding of those around you, so that you’ll be able to be a friend and everyone likes and appreciates that. Then classmates will like and appreciate you. It takes patience and understanding others, for others to appreciate and understand you.🫶
oh geez, I didn't get the "creative but with rules" point until I remembered myself in dance class lol
teacher: *shows a bit of choreo*
me: *picks it up immediately*
teacher: now I want you to freestyle!
me: I cannot possibly fathom how my joints move together to produce Motion™
The doll thing was me exactly. My sister was the only person I enjoyed playing with my toys with because she would follow my rules. When my step siblings or a friend would play they would do it completely wrong, there was a very particular way I played and if someone deviated from that I hated it so much😂
THATS EXACTLY THE SAME WITH ME BWHABWHAVWHA
Same here
Same! My sister and I used to play with littlest pet shops for HOURS on end. Each had a specific name (we had about 120), personality, relationships, and spot to sit, and they always had to be in the right spots when we weren't roleplaying with them. I remember getting irrationally annoyed when they were left a mess or out of place.
Yeah, everything had to match in some sort of way. You couldn't mix toys from different settings, and I loved making dioramas more than actually moving my dolls around. I usually led my play groups too because I'd make all the rules. Didn't think of it from this perspective before, but maybe...
I’m not Autistic but I RELATE LMAO I CANT WHEN PEOPLE DO SOEMHTING OTEHR THAN THE SET RULES
I’ve been investigating the idea of having autism for a few weeks now. Doing a lot of research, reading and listening to experiences, etc. While listening to this video I feel like my whole life and internal experience were put into words. Thank you..
I'm a guy and I am chocked on how much I relate to all of this. For a lot of the video, it's like Paige is describing exactly what/how I am
Your personality on camera really reminds me of Jenna Marbles. I miss her so much, but your silly and genuine character are a perfect fill to the void left in her absence.
Keep making vids for us ASD girls!
Jenna is autistic is my head cannon.
I was thinking the same thing!
I thought the same!
I thought the same thing, something about her mannerism really resembled Jenna 🥰
Same here! First thought that came to me!
Hi all, i’m twelve and was diagnosed autistic in december. This channel helped me understand my self, and i can’t express how grateful i am. Thank you and have a great autistic day!!
i’m so happy you got diagnosed
Just be yourself darling and save this video so you can remind yourself that the things you think and feel are all OK. You're going to be great 💕
yayyy yes be urself, im 14 and i agree with everything she says
i'm 12 too and for me a year ago (though my mom really thought it was a good idea to tell me like two days ago, and late at night too, and she knows i have trouble sleeping and i always have so i ended up researching it because i still didn't know much about it) and i've been obsessively researching it.
@@sandpiper_ Listen pet, I know how much you want to find out everything you can about this now that your Mom has told you, but slow down and be mindful of how you do your research. There is SO much info online about this and not all of it will apply to you personally or some of it may be inaccurate. You should be careful that you know the source you are researching from is a reliable and trusted source or you could end up with a lot of confusing material that will not help you at all. How does your Mom know that you are Autistic? Have you been properly assessed by a specialist? If so, you really should have been given a lot of information already and should not have to do all this research yourself. But I understand your need to find out as much as you can so just be careful and don't get overwhelmed with information. You have lot's of time to figure this out. I am an old lady of 57 so I kinda know what I'm talking about - sometimes 🙂. Take care of yourself x
paige i’m watching your videos in looping and crying
i never felt so comfortable in my entire life, you put in words everything i ever felt.
SO THANKFUL.
I’m 50 and just starting the process of learning who I really am under this mask. It’s scary and I have no idea what I’m doing or need to do. Watching you makes me feel like it’s going to be ok. ❤
I can’t imagine how it must feel discovering this after so long. I wish you the best and hope that now you can live your life as your happiest self x
I’m almost 47 and haven’t gotten diagnosed yet because there are no doctors within hundreds of miles who will do this. Half of my family is autistic yet none are diagnosed due to this issue.
The part about self-isolating- my sister used to get mad at me for "barricading" after school every night because I would hole up in my room and try to regulate my stress and everyone else was too loud.
Hi, I'm a teenager who is trying to get a diagnosis. My new doctor is starting the process luckily. My old doctor said that he didn't want to give me the diagnosis because he didn't want it to affect me when I'm older. This video has validated my feelings and what I think might be going on in my brain so thank you for your content!
What a terrible doctor he is for denying you a diagnosis, imagine we said this with any other disorder... " So I don't want to give you a diagnosis for your depression because it could affect you in the future"
@@MyChemAndTwilight or cancer or the flu ...
MY DOCTOR DID THE SAME THING! My pediatrician said that exact thing! She didn’t want it to “hold me back”. But instead she left me to wind up in and out of mental hospitals my teenage years and drug abuse in my early adult years.
@@MyChemAndTwilight Yeah he said that the stigma could affect me. My new doctor is hopefully going to get me a referral soon!
Doctors need to keep their feelings esp. their personal biases out of their medical practice. It doesn't help your patient and it will only ever harm them. Im happy your getting help and your still young... things are only going to get better for you my friend, I love seeing young people today taking your lives into your own hands and getting things sorted... not letting others stop you. I was shoved into a hole and told to shut up my whole life because I was different and "What will people think!". Took me til I was 40 to break free. Your Awesome, best wishes xxx
I just want you to know that this video made me feel so seen and validated and I am literally crying because SOMEONE ELSE LITERALLY FEELS THE SAME WAY I DO AND HAS THE SAME ISSUES AND THEIR BRAIN IS DOING THE SAME THINGS. THANK YOU so much, Paige. Seriously. I can't describe how understood I feel right now. You're amazing!
I am 13 years old and am going through a full autism evaluation in a place where any type of good health care whatsoever is really hard to find. It took a full year to find people who were willing to give the actual diagnosis. So after being discouraged and put down by so many therapists and mental health professionals, your videos are so helpful and encouraging.
You are the reason my Parents decided to go through with the evaluation.
Hopefully, one day I really want to make my own TH-cam channel for raising autism awareness and educating people about autism!!
I love you Paige!! Continue being awesome and raising awareness!!
The thing about hearing that eye contact was important once, and then making it a rule forever, reminded me of how I to this day make sure to ask everyone I speak to how they are every time I greet them specifically because of one time like ten years ago when someone said I came off as self-absorbed and disinterested in them because it never crossed my mind to ask... ah how the tables have turned, I've now been a "hi, how are ya" machine for about a decade since :')
Everything you said. This.
Yes omg the "how are you" thing. I never understood the point. Most of the people that have known me for more than a day know that if you want an answer out of me from a text message or stuff you have to ask your question directly, because I do not answer to "Hi, how are you ?" messages alone. And one day one of my coworkers asked me a question and then immediately corrected herself and added "Hi how are you ?" before her question and I had never seen her in my life ever before so I just got entirely confused. Like why would she care, she had a question, just ask the question ? How are yous are just so confusingly random
@@martelraykin I always answer the "How are you" so truthfully and I don't think neurotypicals like that... :C
I'll be like "pretty good, but ___"
When I worked retail, though, if I couldn't say good truthfully I'd repeat other phrases I've heard people use because I can't lie about it :/
Once when I was younger, a classmate’s mom yelled at me for not making eye contact while she was speaking to me. Now, it’s all I can think about when I have conversations with people. When I realize I’m not making eye contact, I feel guilty.
Yep. Apparently if you don't ask, it means you don't care. So I have this ingrained in me. I also struggle with just parroting back that I'm good/fine when inwardly I'm super stressed out and want to leave said interaction on some level but it's always "I'm doing great/good/fine!" because that is the expected response. That is the dialogue tree. People don't want to hear how you're really doing when you're starting a surface-level interaction. Even friends and family don't seem to want to hear the real answer. So you mask. You stay uncomfortable. Until you just can't anymore and you have a meltdown. And people don't understand how exhausting it is.
I've had eye contact anxiety my whole life. But adults just dismissed it and called me "shy". I spent so much time looking down that I didn't realize that "normal" people look each other in the eye during conversations. It wasn't until my peers teased me for it, that I started to make an effort to force myself into making eye contact. I do it pretty often, but I forget to if I'm feeling anxious or spacey. I have to consciously remind myself to look at the person, it doesn't come naturally.
But that being said, I've always had severe social anxiety. I don't love routines (or use them), I don't excel in anything particular and I typically pick up on nonverbal cues. So I would often get told "maybe you're a 'little autistic"', but also maybe I just grew up afraid of people and internalized a fear of eye contact.
I'm not sure! But I would like to know.
but also I'm going to admit that internalized ableism makes me VERY terrified of the label. I work with autistic people, MANY (as in, like,, all but 1) of my friends are autistic, and yet I'm still afraid that having the actual diagnosis will cause emotional wreckage. I'm afraid my judgement and self-consciousness would only get worse.
I know this is ableist bullshit and I need to work through it
trust yourself. you are an expert on your own life and experience. talk to yourself and listen to the version of you that you hope to become: that serious, real, fun, authentic voice who is truly you. i believe in you
I have adhd and autism. This sounds like me when I was unmedicated.
This video as well as others I’ve come across are so eye opening! My 12 year old niece is diagnosed with different mood disorders as well as ADHD combined, I have been told by a few people in the mental health field to get her an autism evaluation. I swear everything that was mentioned in this video hit home especially when the different mental health disorders was mentioned. I am so happy I came across this video, it has truly helped me to understand my niece so much better.
Thank you for these. I’m 37 and I think I’m finally figuring out why I felt so different my whole life.
everything you said about coming home from school each day being so exhausted, about no one knowing the real you bc you don't even know yourself.... i'm going through that identity crisis right now lol. its so not fun. but this video helped so much, and listening to you and reading comments with others going through the same is so healing. really thank you so much.
You want to hear something even worse? I'm 27 and just got diagnosed a couple of months ago. TWENTY SEVEN YEARS OF NOT KNOWING. The diagnosis criteria for girls is messed up.
Be grateful it wasn’t age 42. You would have likely found out in therapy in a crisis state.
@@selecttravelvacations7472 I'm still allowed to be pissed off. I'm sorry that it took you so long. I still had to pay 1200 dollars to get someone to even listen to me and when they diagnosed me they were like "shit, sorry, well theres' your diagnosis good luck in life"
fuck me i guess
Paige, these videos help so so much. My 7 year old daughter is autistic and it just confirms for me certain things that I was already doing with her. I have wondered if hovering around while she's stimming or purging after school is helpful or detrimental and you've helped me to realize I was doing exactly what she needed. She looks so much like you too, it makes me a bit emotional to watch you talk lol thank you for choosing to share with us, you are, at the very cellular level, helping me and my daughter and I'm so grateful. 💙💞
Omg, don’t ever stop making vids and spreading ASD awareness- you blew my mind. I’ve also been diagnosed with basically all the other disorders besides Autism and I’m finally about to get assessed for it at 25 🎉
I love that little note at the end about gender. I've often rejected the idea of a "women's brain" and a "men's brain". Because we currently have no way of knowing how much is due to environment and how much is due to biology.
When professionals say there's in average a difference between how autism shows in females compared to males it's not so much about it coming from the brain (although there is the prevalent idea that autism is a male only disability, since initially it was tested only on boys) but more about simply being female or male living in a society where gender (gender roles) exists. There is neuroplasticity in the way our brain develops during all our life and so this means that how we are treated, the tools we are given as human beings and how different they are depending on our sex, change the way we think and behave.
Hmmm, my trans son's medical doctor who specializes in trans people says 1 in 3 of the trans males he sees are also diagnosed with autism.
@John Doe yes
Boy"s and girls"s brains are wired differently in utero; this is biological fact not something to minimize women or the way they operate.
@@bartmullin8018 scientific evidence...?
I often felt so alone, and isolated growing up, thinking something was physically/mentally wrong with me that there's no way I was meant to be here. I thought about suicide a lot, there was a lot of self-harm during those years. The traits you listed fit me pretty closely, I've never been diagnosed, but damn. It doesn't feel as lonely hearing someone else talk about i.
I’m sorry you had to go through all that alone. You are a beautiful human and deserve so much better than this ableist society. Well done for staying strong and finding your identity. I hope you have a good life and find people who are good friends ❤️
Same!!
Same
Poetry is so creative! And so is taking inspiration from multiple different things and making it into your own thing. Don’t doubt yourself Paige💕
Oh my god... I was never diagnosed with autism, and yet, every point you make in this video seems like you're describing my life. The older I get, communication with others seems more difficult, I lost my two best friends recently, because of how difficult it was for us to simply understand each other on a basic level. I started working as a waitress few months ago, and I keep receiving complaints from my manager, because my coworkers find my body language offensive or inappropriate, and whenever I come back home I just cry, because of how hopeless I feel because of this. It seems like i can't trust my own judgement, because everyone else see the world differently than me, and I try my best to seem as friendly and chill as possible, but it fails every time. I keep assuming things, cause I'm scared that people will think I'm stupid if I ask them. And when they say "why didn't you just ask?" I don't know what to say. It just blows my mind that they want me to ask them.
I've been studying people my whole life, always not happy with how I present myself, always looking for inspirations in people who are liked by others, who are "cool". Whenever I come back home I feel lots of negative emotions and exhaustion, I spent most of my free time during high school on sleeping. Since very young age I was really good at acting, I've always got main roles in school plays, and I continue acting till this day, as well as composing music and singing. I'm not really good at drawing things from scratch though. I always have to inspire myself with someone else's work.
I could keep mentioning many, many other things, but the most important one is how alienated I feel every day. Like the world is made for someone else, and I just have to pretend that I have a place here. It makes me feel very lost and I'm losing confidence every day.
Thanks to this video I will definitely go to a specialist for a diagnose. Honestly, I haven't felt so understood since a really long time.
My heart goes out to you, we may not be struggling with the same exact thing but I feel your pain !! Stay strong please you are worth getting help and there’s a place for you you just gotta keep going you will find it I promise
I recently asked my parents why they didn’t notice/care that I was isolating myself in my room for years being completely unable to handle school and the people there. Crying and being angry and sleeping a lot after school Is way to familiar to me. But they didn’t really have an answer and my dad just said that he will not allow me to make them feel guilty about the (lack of) parenting that was going on when I was a teenager. And now I feel like an asshole bringing it up because I don’t want to cause them pain by saying I needed more from them and they failed me. But it’s the truth.
I remember my brother checking on me one evening when my bedroom light was out. I hated saying “I’m fine” but there was no way I could explain what was wrong.
I feel this in my soul
Your parents didn’t fail. You’re here because they did their best but you needed more. So go get more help if you need it.
@@jewelciappio why would you tell someone that their parents did their best when they're telling us how they were let down by them? Obviously they weren't doing their best if they didn't care if they were isolating.
@@narcopsy You can do your best every single day and still not be perfect. In fact, I’m willing to bet these parents were actually above average. We’re you sexually assaulted, physically beaten, deprived of nutrition, or verbally berated on a daily basis? If the answer is no, your in the tenth percentile worldwide.
Nothing comes from nowhere. Creativity is taking what you have and doing it in a way thats personal to you. You seem very creative by acting out movies with barbies and combining stencils. Thats what creativity is!! Anyone who says otherwise probably struggles with their own identity and have a deep need to be seen as original and unique
I thought about that a lot. Like a unicorn isn’t new. You got a horn, and you got a horse, which both already exist, but when you put it together it makes something creative and wonderful. Thankyou for pointing this out.
the forcing eye contact thing with your big ol' eyes is so true. i couldn't do eye contact for so long, and now i feel like i do it too much and it's uncanny, i also got the bpd diagnosis as a young lady, which i think was a bit damaging because of how it's so demonized
NO WAY 😭
I've been researching this topic for the past year on and off and as I keep learning, everything makes more and more sense! I've always felt like I was the weird one, too dramatic, too shy, too asocial. I want to thank you, Page, for shedding light to the topic. This video really is a stepping stone for a lot of people that want to learn (if they know someone) or are wondering if they are autistic 🙌🏻💕
My niece is also a human with autism and I am so glad there are people like you for her to look up too and for me to learn from! ❤️
I mean this from the sweetest place of my heart, but just remember that a lot of autistic ppl enjoy having autism before people/human! (Autistic human rather than human with autism)
Identify first language please
To use person first suggests we can cure our autism
We can't and we don't want a cure
@@MonstehDinosawr I see so many people in my profession blatantly tell people to always use first person language with everything, including all diagnoses. I always have to interject and tell them that it doesn’t always work for everything. I always bring up how autistic people actually prefer to not use first person language and the person sharing this info always says “oh I never heard of that” if you’re going to teach about first person language, do research on the communities you’re speaking on their behalf first!
the strong sense of justice hit so close to home
Damn the thing you said about coming home from school and having panic attacks and being angry and isolating and crying and feeling sooo so so alone hit so hard that it made me cry. I wish i knew this in high school. I wish i knew i wasnt just really bad at being a person. I wish i knew i wasnt the only person struggling with this stuff. I think it wouldve made it so much easier. I hope all the little girls experiencing that now find your videos and feel seen. I hope they get more support than i did ❤
When you’re growing up, there’s a lot of changes going on with your body. Lots of those changes are caused from hormones as you becoming an adult. It’s nothing more. The mind always looks for reasons but it is very normal and everyone goes through it. Try to find things you enjoy and that will take off some of the edge.
Hi Paige,
Just wanted to say thank you for all the time & energy & experience that you share with us in your videos. I have been binge watching everything ASD for the past two months & your videos are so enlightening and inspiring... they are also pretty entertaining because you are like a sassy quirky ray of sunshine 🌞 I’m 61 years old and just recently self identified as autistic. Your videos have really helped me give myself permission to be authentically me. I was raised in the 1960s & 70s. My parents would say things like “stop crying or else I’ll give you a reason to cry”. Every verbal command when questioned was followed up with “because I said so”. I have learned to forgive my aging parents for things they didn’t know any better for at the time (and probably still don’t) but the memories of those instances when I was a kid are still hurtful. I wish autism had been better understood and recognizable back then. My childhood could have been so much better.
I turn 42 this year...I'm sitting here crying while watching this. Everything you are describing is ME. I have been researching Autism for years now, after my son's possible Autism was brought to my attention and my brother was diagnosed with Asperger's as an adult within the same month, but for the longest time I never realized how much the diagnosis fits me as well until the past year or so.
I was diagnosed with ASD almost exactly one year ago. I had always struggled with eye contact yet forced myself to do it, and only now just realized that due to my disdain for breaking rules I set for myself, I heard a fact in third grade (that may not be true) that women rely more heavily on eye contact and engaged body posture when talking then men, so I figured this must be true and therefore I had to reflect this truth. I also analyzed everyone I talked using this body language to see if this was in fact true, and for the most part, it was. Since my ASD diagnosis I have been trying overcome this cognitive dissonance so that I am not always so uncomfortable, but I still feel pressured societally and personally as an autistic woman to mask with engaged posture and maintained eye contact. Thank you for your fantastic content, it has tremendously helped my self acceptance.
That is so sad that you had to deal with all that. It is not your fault that society is so ableist and messed up. You are a beautiful person and deserve so much better from the people around you. It is not acceptable for people to be expected to squash and squeeze themselves into a society that makes not effort to recognise or accommodate minorities. I hope you manage to accept yourself and find people who appreciate who you really are. It takes time to stop masking, and it can be difficult to find people that want to hang out with you without the mask, but eventually it will get better.
I was recently diagnosed at 33 and it has been a blessing finding this channel. I relate SO hard to everything you say in your videos. I felt alien my whole life. I am at a point where I have just subconsciously become my mask and I have ZERO idea who I am. I have gotten to a point of total burnout. I’m not sure how to move forward, but getting involved in the neurodivergent community has helped a lot. Thank you for your videos and making me feel like I’m not the only alien on this planet ❤
My niece is Autistic. She was diagnosed as a toddler. She is now 13. I’m so proud of the person she is becoming. I’m thankful we were able to know so early in her life. We raised her to teach the world what she can and can not handle. It was a huge process with her cousins. Many family members were firm in teaching their own children to respect my niece’s boundaries. I cannot wait to see the strong and supported adult we will have when she is older. She is so unique and kind. Teen life is never easy for anyone and now we are trying our best to be sensitive to these years and experiences. Trying to give her the resources without suffocating her in the process. I hope you all the success in the future.
I’m a cis gay man diagnosed with ‘everything but’ and I really identify with almost everything you’ve said here, both for myself and for my trans brother who’s officially diagnosed 🤯 Thank you for this video!
Me too. 22 and this video made me so emotional. I feel out of place all the time. This is so interesting!
Still a mom struggling for America to diagnose me. “You make eye contact, you can have a conversation, you also show every other symptom... but I don’t feel comfortable diagnosing you as ASD.” Year two of this train, wish me luck.
There isn't a "female" or "male" presentation, but there is a stereotype for autism in men. Anyone off that norm has an uphill battle to get diagnosed. So if this resonates, maybe you should get tested too!
My husband is a cis man and he also presents with these traits. I personally think it's why he didn't get diagnosed young.
@@LimitlessMegan , possibly also depends on age. Autism was pretty much generally unknown until the late 1980s, and even then only extreme cases. Anyone who could function would have been ignored (even if that functioning was in a certain environment - such as engineering)
I've been thinking about my possible autism for a while now. I was uneasy looking at "autism in girls" specifically since I'm trans male. So I just wanted to say thank you for your addition at the end that the gender difference is a little arbitrary and not applicable to all. Even if I am a boy now, I was raised a girl and lived a long time as a girl. I was actually quite recently thinking about how "I never really *understood* girls" for a really long time, and mainly had male friends. And even when I did have girl friends, I remember how little I really spoke with them, but with boys I engaged a lot more. I always chalked that up to me being trans (because there was lots of other evidence in my childhood for being trans) but I'm realising lots of things that apply back then and still today could be potential signs of autism.
I'm hesitant to get an actual diagnosis, because even if I do have autism, it doesn't seem to be a major problem in my life. Sure, I don't understand social cues a lot and often feel left out in conversation (either because I don't know the topic or I'm struggling to pay attention), but.. is knowing I have autism going to make that better? Will it change that? Is it worth changing? I'm not really sure. I'm happy that a lot of the points in this video strongly resonated with me, but I'm not sure what to do with this information now, to be honest.
It depends on your needs and how much you personally want it. If you have the time, money and patience, this can be beneficial insofar as receiving proper accommodations if/when needed, helping you understand your condition, and for many people, it can be very validating to have the written diagnosis.
If you believe a formal diagnosis is worth the time and money and will overall benefit you, absolutely go ahead!
If not, self diagnosis is equally as valid (as long as you’re doing enough research in the right areas), there are many resources on the internet that can help you understand the condition and the various traits that are displayed among Autistic people, as well as how to support your needs, but it seems you’re already doing that here, anyway.
It’s all up to you, good luck on your journey
My son is a trans male and sees a medical doctor who specializes in trans people, he says 1 in 3 trans males also have an autism diagnosis. My son has autism.
@@raindrop5273 your a great mother for accepting your son. With my parents they do try to be more accepting but if they figure out Im trans they will say I'm delusional :(
I know exactly what you mean. In my case with friends, i have male friends but I’ve always had a majority of female friends, though most of them are neurodivergent themselves or just weird people in general. I never really got along with the “basic straight girls” because they were so different than me.
@@raindrop5273 wow I didn't know the statistics of that. I'm a trans man and about to get an autism consult for testing for a diagnosis
Your manner of speaking reminds me of both Meg from Disney's Hercules and Rapunzel from Tangled. It's adorable ❤
OMG! Just found your channel and your experiences are so similar to mine BUT I was 50 when I realized I was autistic, just a few months ago actually. Thank you for saying all of this. Ohhhh, this soothes my soul!
I was always told to look someone in the eye when they're talking to you (yelling at you) but it's just resulted in me staring intensely into one of their pupils, unblinking, until everything goes black. no words are heard. It might be a combination of being autistic and a trauma response (because I've had to hear some really terrible things). I'm trying to teach myself that I don't have to force myself anymore so long as I feel safe.
I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at the age of 11. Everyday, I feel stupid because of it. I always assume people really don’t like me even though I’m a wonderful, loving girl. I have alllll of these assumptions about everything. I have a very widespread imagination, too. There’s A LOT of “normal” words that I find cringey, such as “goes with it” and “as well”. When I was younger, I wouldn’t be able to tell if someone was not interested in what I’m saying when I talk, but now I shut up when I start to observe other’s body languages. It often seems that no one is interested when I talk. Either that’s true, or my Asperger’s syndrome is causing my brain to lie to me. Every negative thought I have, I absolutely try to tell myself that my brain is lying to me and it is because of my Autism, and that I must fight it. Thank you so much for sharing these videos, they very much make me feel at home 💕
I actually was diagnosed after watching your video! I had no idea back then. Explained Sooooo Much! Now I'm advocating for my niece to get tested because she is showing similar traits. So Thank you for making these videos and educating people. You're making more of a difference than you realize.
I laughed WAYYY too hard when you talked about being diagnosed with everything under the sun except autism as I have been diagnosed with depression, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic attack disorder, OCD, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, dermatillomania, CPTSD and Seasonal Affective Disorder 🤣
I’m living in Norway, and went to assessment for autism and ADHD the past year and just heard back that they won’t diagnose me. But the things they could say was that I had tendencies towards compulsory behavior and also generalized anxiety disorder. Shocker. I can’t even begin to explain the process I went thorough and how backwards the interviewing process for the assessment is.. People like you validate us who don’t get diagnosed and those who for several reasons can’t access it. Thank you so much.
Hey I’m also from Norway, and in the middle of getting tested for autism (diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago).
I just feel like they don’t really know a lot about autism and still really much use outdated terms and stereotypes.
I went to my therapist for 2 years before realising that I probably am autistic, and when I mentioned it to my therapist she just said that she might not have noticed because I am pretty good at communicating.
Although when I look back at everything we’ve talked about I have shown a lot of autistic traits and talked about specific autistic struggles. So idk how she didn’t pick it up. Also they use a lot of “functional levels”and “Asperger” which make me extremely uncomfortable.
And they told me that I might not get a diagnosis because I am so “high functional”, even tho I literally go nonverbal at times??
Hjelp, så utrolig skuffende… Leit å høre du hadde en så dårlig opplevelse. Hvis du kan utdype litt om prosessen din hadde jeg vært supertakknemlig, er i ferd med å starte min egen prosess, men er redd for å lage mer traumer for meg selv ved å ikke bli trodd. Bor i Oslo. Hvor ble du utredet?
@@msnglink1 Jeg var også redd før jeg startet prosessen, nettopp på grunn av stigmatisering også innad i psykiatrien. Jeg ble utredet i en mindre kommune i Innlandet. For meg bar hele prosessen preg av lite tillit og ingen frie samtaler. Hovedansvarlig for utredning var dessverre ikke en imøtekommende person, og jeg følte jeg stressa gjennom spørsmålene i de ulike skjemaene. Jeg var igjennom to ulike IQ-tester av litt forskjellig karakter, med vekt på ulike områder (den ene mer ren IQ-test og den andre mer kognitiv). Hovedansvarlig hadde den ene, så hele det møtet var ubehagelig. Den andre ble gjort av to andre psykologer som var mer imøtekommende. Samtidig ingen samtaler, kun fokus på oppgaver. Jeg leverte rundt ti sider egenskrevne notater til slutt for å forklare alle mine utfordringer og hvordan de kan knyttes til autistiske- og ADHD-trekk. Likevel føler jeg det ble totalt oversett. Mitt inntrykk er at spørsmålene er så snevre og i tillegg selvmotsigende at jeg endte opp med å score for lavt på skalaene. Det er til syvende og sist tall. Og hvis de som utreder ikke er åpne for nyanserte innfallsvinkler, så blir svarene veldig ensidige. Man kan jo bare håpe og krysse fingrene for at du møter mennesker som tenker nytt og er oppdaterte på nyere forskning! Håper det for deg❤️
@@BowAndAro Yes.. Sadly that’s how many professionals see it. I feel like the struggles I have aren’t seen at all. They just put them under “generalized anxiety disorder” saying that other things can explain he struggles I have. When in fact it’s not that way at all.
i am 15, i don’t have an autism diagnosis, but for many years i’ve thought that i had autism. watching this video and having Paige describe me to a T made me feel like she knew me personally and that she was talking about me to everyone. i cried having her describe me, not because i was sad or wasn’t ok with it, but because i finally felt heard! i have wanted and do want a diagnosis, and i know it’s expensive, so i’m waiting until i can get with a therapist to help me.
Hi Paige! I just wanted to thank you for all the amazing content you post
it's so refreshing seeing a video with someone talking about this in a real way. going beyond "we're just really good at masking so it shows up less" and more into how much that affects a person. how intense it can get. how horrible it can feel. nobody goes into details like those, and it feels so validating to have someone talk like they know how my whole life has been.
Yeah, I was bawling near the end.
I was wrongfully diagnosed with bpd and I'm still incredibly upset. At this point in my life it seems so obvious I was autistic all along. That diagnosis lead to so much negativ things, like people around me reduced any expression of my emotions to being the dramatic personality disorder girl. Why would it have any negative consequences to be diagnosed with autism? I would have known what steps to take early on in life and could have avoided so, so, so much trauma.
ME TOO!
this hit so close to home! I grew up with an autistic older brother (who is much higher on the spectrum than I am, so he's the one that had all of the attention and testing done about it before my mom felt like she had gotten it all out of the way lol) and I was left undiagnosed, seen as the "normal" one. Which sucked, since I wasn't.
Because of that, middle and high school were basically hell. My parents divorced in middle school because I found out my dad cheated, so I spent a lot more time with the girls in my grade since my mom spent most of her free-time sleeping. (I was mirroring 7th grade girls... and it was awful haha) and went through years of masking and mirroring, just to be punished for years because of my behavior, not being aware enough to explain that I wasn't consciously choosing the behavior. I'm SO grateful that I know as much as I do now, so if I ever end up having kids I'll be able to pay attention and know somewhat the signs I should be looking for.
Wrongful diagnoses are SO wrong and hard to deal with, and I'm glad you worked your way through it. The trauma is the most frustrating part, but for me, it was one of my biggest learning lessons ironically
thoughts about loads of tiktock users self diagnosed
@@kaiyodei Yes, while the TikTok users you're referring to usually are “faking it”, if someone genuinely thinks they have a disorder getting tested isn’t a bad idea.
Although I completely agree that saying you have a disorder that you don't is harmful, I think this also leads people who truly might have a disorder to be discouraged from getting tested.
I have a friend I’ve known since first grade who thinks everyone is bipolar…he’s always diagnosing them (he’s a psychiatric nurse). He hasn’t seen me in person for 18 years because I moved to another state. He started saying I was bipolar whoever I’d post things on Facebook. It really freaked me out that he was doing this. I asked my general practitioner doctor who’s known me for over ten years if he thought I was BP…he laughed and said I most definitely am not BP. I’m sorry you went through this misdiagnosis.
There are so many times in school where i want to scream and cry and have a meltdown but i just hold it in because i dont want to stand out and i just sit at my desk and suffer and i just want to cry.
Thank you so much for making this video. I am about twice your age and only been diagnosed as having ADD and Anxiety in my early 30's. I have been on the same med since diagnosed and I'm still a hot mess. Your video made me cry but makes me feel such relief bc I feel like I can finally understand myself. Truly thank you for not only delivering such helpful content but doing it in a very entertaining way.
I'm 26 and just a few months ago I realized I'm almost certainly autistic (I'm looking for a doctor to get a diagnosis) but this video hit super hard. Especially about going home and dealing with the stress alone. My mom always used to "threaten" me with sending me to anger management.
I'm going to see a Nueropsychologist. nuerologists only deal with head medical issues and psychologist deal with mental health and behavorial issues.
The combination of the two jobs can test for things like autism.
So here's the interesting thing: I have most of those traits but I am pretty intuitive so I find patterns in people's behavior... but impostor syndrome is a pretty big thing for me so even if they might not be making fun of me or being weird I think they are. I tick every other box but I am pretty good at getting social cues because I just find patterns. I don't know...
Honestly some autistic people find ways around their difficulties so much it becomes automatic and they don’t even realise they have the difficulty. This is especially true with very intelligent autistics. Often you don’t realise just how much subconscious energy goes into getting around obstacles. It can make you really tired. Honestly though, it doesn’t matter if you’re not quite sure if you’re autistic or not. It’s ok to take your time and figure yourself out slowly. Personally reading your comment I think there’s a 98% chance you are very much autistic, you’re just very smart, intuitive, and good at problem solving.
@@eleanormaraal5402 thank you for the insight, wasn't even expecting a reply! Yeah, not very sure overall but I do tend to 'mask' a bit in social situations, and have always just thought that was what being an extrovert was all about. but then, once I get home my fiance says im just a different person. sometimes I'm quick to anger and have a short fuse at home because I need to let go of all this energy I've gathered. Whether I have autism or not, I honestly feel for everyone that is on the spectrum, it can be really hard to just navigate the world.
I relate heavily to this comment lol
I’m not a girl, but I do have autism as well as ADHD. I can relate to a lot of this. One thing I’ve found in life is that the times I feel the most free to be myself is when I’m around autistic or ADHD females that aren’t masking, or at least aren’t masking much. Something about being around them makes me feel free to be myself. I get that vibe a lot from you as well. Keep being yourself and being awesome!
ADHD & recently diagnosed Autistic... Thank you for your rantings!! I'm sharing with my husband because it's like we're living the same life. ❤️ But you can actually describe it. I have never been able to find the words.
I watched this because my two year old daughter is autistic and I just walked around going OH MY GOD THATS ME. Down to the “borderline” diagnosis that doesn’t fit anymore but you don’t outgrow a personality disorder. Wtf. Thank you!
This video hit me hard. I'm seeking diagnosis for my daughter and me. We were both recently diagnosed with adhd but I feel it is more than that. It is so hard to get diagnosed! I won't give up though. Also, when you teared up about being left alone when you were home really hit me hard. When my daughter has meltdowns I try to never leave her side. For a long time I've felt bad and/or guilty for following her to her room after she slammed the door. Something always tells me to never leave her. I try to hug her but she refuses (which is totally ok) and I ask her what she needs and she just cries. I ask her if she wants me to leave and she says no. After watching you tear up it reassured me that maybe I'm doing the right thing by not leaving her alone. I just sit on the foot of her bed, talk to her and wait it out. I do need to be more patient, all the time! It also reminded me of my childhood, I remember having so many meltdowns growing up and my mom would shut down, I was left all alone. It was so lonely and scary. I never want my daughter to feel that way.
Thank you for spreading your knowledge! I appreciate you ❤
Can I just say a heart felt thank you!!!
You’ve just helped to open up my daughters world too me. My daughter is 7yrs old and we have this week referred her for Autism. We’ve been told that it could take up to 83weeks to be seen by anyone so your video has provided an insight in to her life.
Everything you said is her and some thing clicked with the loneliness, she hates being alone but wants to be alone! Thank you for that I can now understand and support her better, thank you! ♥️
And there lies the problem. There are not nearly enough resources for children with these problems. Is it any wonder there is so much suicide in this country?
your videos started my autism diagnosis journey and I feel so much better about myself and my place in the world now, thank you for existing and doing what you do
Well, I’m feeling super seen today!
I didn’t get diagnosed until my 40’s. This brought back adolescent times in a big way! I still struggle with #10 and how I use it to write off and not work on relationships.
Freaking great video!