What are your thoughts on living a "boring" life at 30? Do you think being “average” is bad? Share your stories in the comments below and let's start a conversation. Remember, sometimes it's the simple, mundane moments that bring us the most fulfillment and contentment.
sometimes we forget that the "average" US life has a much higher quality than the "average" life lived in many other countries. i told my kids that they should be happy they were born in the USA. Lucky draw there.
is that what Disney's had turned into? and toxic work place? do I think average is bad? aren't we are all average? if some people said otherwise i'll say they're over their head and need to get off their high horse. I also worked myself to half death, but since having a really severe health problem, surface level stuff (money, fame, status...) just aren't that interesting to me. I appreciate slower pace lifestyle, it truly is a wonderful feeling. And I'm working toward that. honestly, I think if you set a goal for yourself every year and achieve it, eventually you'll build something extraordinary. You don't have to chase it. If you see someone endlessly talking about success, being extraordinary, live to your true potential, and then look down on "average" people. It shows these people never done anything in their life, pretty much just yapping their trap. I'm also a seasoned storyboard artist. Still working in Hollywood (even in some high profile jobs). I rejected being a staff in major studios (including Disney), I only do freelance or contracted works for them. And because I'm freelancing, I'm able to start a company and actually triple or quadruple what I can make by myself (plus I have expenses I can write off under my company). Also run a side business as a landlord. I design and build cars and motorcycle as a hobby and wanting to turn them into actual products. I also worked on so many viral videos, campaigns, trailers, films, commercials, games, MVs. And i'm net 1m+. are these the achievements people are looking for? yeah. I can drop all these in their face just to shut them up. Because I been there, and done that, and I know what it's liked already. And to the critics, they haven't, so to them, money and success are fantasies. but at the end of the day, I'm still average. My goal is just give jobs to my employees so they can make a living to support their families. That's why I work. That's what fulfillment is to me, taking care of the people that I love. The rests are just trivial.
I think a big problem is that ambitions is associated with monetary success like a great job or money. We don't seem to encourage ambition that fuels our hobbies, art, or passions that serve pure self fulfillment. Aspiring to collect something that gives you joy or do clubs as an adult is seen as a waste of time if it's not "getting you closer to your future goals." We've made ambitions this daunting thing for only the big dreams in life that we don't feel validated wanting to persue the little things in life and provide just as much happiness.
I don’t want or need to be rich, I just want to be financially secure enough to not constantly worry about money. I don’t know what it’s like to not be flat broke. I just want to be successful enough to comfortably pay bills and have some savings put away in case of an emergency. I think the economy is exacerbating hustle culture because we almost have to work ourselves into the ground just to make ends meet.
I talked to my 95 year old mom today and we talked about everything you are saying. All her best times in life had nothing to do with money. Money should equal freedom not more stuff
Most of us wont get rich anyway .. so embrace life .. if you need less you dont need to get rich .. other than rich of life , which youl become if you embrace it
Absolutely. And the spiritual is contentment. If you are all material, you are doomed. As you get older, you will have nothing to buttress you. The emptiness we feel is most certainly of a spiritual nature.
I feel this! I definitely just exist at this point in my life. I like being at home and randomly go out to do simple things. Travel a little but nothing too stressful. I get judged often
To add to 2:37, I am friends with a therapist who has rich clients. Of course, they don’t go into detail and are deliberately vague for professional medical confidentiality reasons, but yeah, a lot of those rich families have messed up family lives in which the parent thinks they can just buy off their children’s love or buy off their family problems by hiring them to ‘fix it’. You can’t. That said, they’ve stated many richer parents do recognise it’s a problem and do actively work to make it better, but many think they can buy everything off. If you remember Angelica from the Rugrats and how Angelica suffered significant child abandonment issues due to her Mum being away all the time due to work and fobbing off parental responsibility to their nanny and stay-at-home Dad, yeah, that occurs in real life far more often than you think with high income families. Rugrats dealt with a lot of very deep adult themes in reality.
Watching this video after a long day of grinding. I just broke down crying cause I’m exhausted. I fear not achieving my goals and trying to prove to myself and to my parents I’m worth something. I went through a lot of hardship and I don’t want it to be all for nothing
I absolutely DO NOT regret living my life on my own terms and different than everybody else. And as a result... I get tons of feedback telling me how awesome and enviable my life is now that I'm in my retirement years.
This was truly eye-opening. I'm still young and I certainly am trapped in that "wanting to be special" mindset. I'm trying to build an extraordinary life, I get upset over not-perfect grades. (I cried over a 95% overall final grade, -yes, I also hate myself for it.) I'm going into 12th grade next September so I know it's going to be chaotic at best, having to ace university entrance exams. I just want to be a little boy again, with not a worry in my head. Instead, I'm applying to summer jobs every day, getting upset because no one wants to hire an inexperienced 17-year-old. I only feel like I belong in the grind culture of the education system. I even have picked the master's and Ph.D. that I want to do *after* I finish a degree I am not doing yet. I want to be a professor when I finish my studies. I even am buying next year's books right now to start studying during the summer. I feel like I need to grind to the max before I deserve to relax.
Part of you may really enjoy learning which is cool and we all need to earn a living unless our partner takes that on 100% for us- but too many of us are burning ourselves out and sacrificing our lives out of fear of judgement from other people. Like you said too the wanting to be special mindset. I get that. It can be helpful to find ways to embrace ordinariness and redefine success for yourself to include wellness and joy and love versus constant accomplishments that feel empty. I do believe creativity and Learning can bring value and joy and fulfillment but you have to do discern is this something worthy of my time and curiosity because I am genuinely interested in it and as a win-win can serve others and myself by giving it some attention- or is it a lose-lose because I am chasing something I think I should do that I don’t enjoy which others can feel that energy so am I really even making a positive impact? And we don’t all have to do these massive things the everyday little ways we show up for the people around us IS impactful and changes the world.
This is all fine and dandy, and I'm on YOUR side....but, someone HAS to work! And if you weren't married, what would you BE doing to make $$..?? I mean all the things you talk about, the burnout, the huge hit working takes on your overall health and so on. For most men, that is our ENTIRE life, we can't quit. I know it's been mine, and I KNOW it was my Dad's too, he was wiped out by the time retirement came along. Maybe your Dad as well? Lets face it, life can be hard, period..
It's absolutely important to show young people that there are more important things than being flashy or famous. I love your videos and your perspective - just want to make that clear upfront. However, this one has stuck in my mind for the past week or two because I think there's a conversation to be had about why young people are ambitious. Granted, there are some who want to overachieve because they just feel like they have something to prove. I have met a lot of those people myself. But that's not most people. Most of us don't want the big city life, we want to get to where you are. The fantasy of living simply in a small town without having to struggle to meet our basic needs. That's our real ambition. Why did I push so hard through every extracurricular, and make sure I got a scholarship, and why did I push so hard through every college class and every internship? It's not because I was afraid of being boring or lazy. It's because my parents warned me that we were very poor and they wouldn't be able to support me if I graduated and couldn't support myself. If I didn't go to the big city long enough to get a degree that would earn me a job paying more than minimum wage, I was going to end up on the street. And in fact, I did end up homeless over the summers during college, despite being at a very prestigious university, because my scholarship didn't cover summer housing and I didn't make enough yet. In the meantime, I just had to put up with it until I had the degree that could earn me the money to live well. The choice between the big city and the small town never existed for me - the only way to get to the small town was by going through the big city first. My friends who tried to choose a simpler life too early are now struggling to make ends meet, living in trailer parks, going without the therapy they need (which leads to spirals of addiction and mental health crises), and staying in abusive relationships because they need two incomes to stay afloat. A quiet life initially looks cheap, but it's expensive. Retirement-friendly areas are especially expensive. I am still at a fast-paced company that exhausts me because I need to work here at least another couple years before I can buy a 2 bedroom, under $200,000 home without taking out a crazy mortgage. I'm trying. Believe me, I'm trying. Peace, and making a little home for my family, and spending more time with my loved ones, these are my dearest ambitions. I just can't get there yet.
It's interesting you talk about all this while doing DIY on your home. I moved out of the big city into a house by the countryside, and now live what people would call a "boring" life - dedicated to my wife, my son, my dogs, tending my garden, growing my vegetables, and doing a whole lot of DIY constantly improving our home. My social life is down to a bare minimum. And I've never felt happier and more fulfilled in my entire life.
Although it could be the case that some people would rather focus on their work rather than their family, the majority of the time it is due to something deeper. Workaholics seem to have little to no boundaries, constant thoughts of not being "good enough", and toxic shame. These traits stem from early childhood from parents/caregivers that were emotionally unavailable, neglectful, or abusive. You are 100% right in saying these people aren't happy with themselves and will probably never be until they address the root cause and change their thought patterns & inner critic.
Ambitions for capitalism is the modern equivalent of faith for religion. Religion makes you believe you'll get "rewarded" in the afterlife if you're a good peasant during your life and accept living in poverty while royalty and church live in wealth. Capitalism makes you believe you'll find happiness later if you "work hard" now, and you're "successful". Instant gratification and pleasure are seen as sins in both. Both religion and capitalism conditions us into focusing mainly on the future (the happiness/reward, always comes later). People are only pursuing their future, instead of living in the present, which would be more logical, as life could stop any time. People unconsciously refrain themselves from living the moment and from being happy, to pursue their ambitions. "I'll be happy when I get a car, when I'll get that dream job, then I'll need a house, then maybe I'll be happy when I get married, then a dog and kids, then a new ipad, but finally, did I really wanted all that... then divorce, etc....". Eternal frustration + not enjoying the moment = good little workers/consummers who don't question why they feel depressed. As if happiness and love needed some kind of conditions to meet or was some kind of reward that you have to "deserve". Sadly, this is hard to get around this. Men without "ambitions" have much less chances to find a significant other. I'm talking about capitalistic and competitive ambitions as described in the video, of course. It will only get worse for the next generations. I believe genuine and simple goals are far more interesting. As in "I want to make my own manga because I love doing this", or "I want to get good at guitar, just for the fun of it". It's not necessarily "boring", but could be seen as "pointless" (as in, it doesn't help you to get rich) Pointless little things are the most enjoyable and don't necessarily need that much cash that you need to sacrifice half of your lifetime to allow yourself to enjoy it... Sorry for the long post, just some thoughts and feelings, I'm far from holding the absolute truth
I think humans may be wired for "religious" thinking. Even our economic systems mimic religion in terms of a hierarchy of morality with rules to follow to succeed and belief in being rewarded for your sacrifices. We don't have to live like this to unlock happiness.
You are very lucky to have figured out what being successful really is. To be happy with who you are and enjoy what you have and not give a whoot about what others think. You are a wise young woman.
I took a week of vacation and spent it cleaning out my garage. That wasn't the plan but no regrets. A week home listening to college radio, throwing junk away and organizing my garage was priceless. Simple living is so underrated.
I'm going to clear this up for you. Being ambitious is not for everyone. If a 9-5 suits you, that's ok. But, if you feel like you have more potential and wish to capitalize on your motivation, by all means test your potential. At least you'll know you've tried. Failure is not losing, failure is not trying!
Preach, girl!!!! 👏👏💞😌 I needed to hear this from another person, because I think about these things all the time, and they sometimes freak me out! It’s scary to feel all of this pressure from people and society … and also from myself. Uh 😐
I never wanted to go into management. I just wanted to be able to provide for my family and to be comfortable. I always attended all of my children’s field trips and sorting events. I just did not get much sleep. Now I work 3 days a week from home and spend four days with my family. I no longer have to rush around running errands. I have everything that I could ever need. Money buys security and you will never have enough of it unless you are able to be content. I grew up poor so it does not take much for me to feel successful.
i like your perspectives on things!!!! i left LA almost a year ago, for Chicago, i'm so much better to me, Congradulations on following your way!!!! yes i feel judged all the time, i come to not care so much
I agree there is a toxicity to this hustle culture but in order to get to where you guys find yourselves now, having a house and somewhat retired with ample time to now start a family if you wish at a young age, for most people in this world that is a huge privilege and something that we have to go through the ambitious "hustle" cycle first to reach that level. You guys have "made it" and congratulations to you. But for everyone else if you still going through the grind in order to achieve your goals and help out your family, never feel shamed for the sacrifices you have to make. Your future generations will have that step up that you never had and will thank you for their easier and more "boring" life.
exactly. There does have to be sacrifice in the beginning before getting these things, unless you're a trust fund baby. She has worked really hard on her youtube channel, and her days at Disney I'm sure made her art really great to the level that she could sell a lot at conventions. It was all hustle and contributed to what she has today! Hustle is necessary but hopefully it doesn't have to last too long!
This video really resonates with me as someone who was born into generational wealth and rejecting the lifestyle people have implicitly associated with me because of it for years. Awesome analysis; am on exactly the same page as you are. Give my quiet life in the suburbs away from all of the chaos... thanks!
having dated a person like this, I can fully understand. My ex'd always talk about how 'this is a great sacrifice and they need to work now, want achieve everything before 40 , before they will be ready to date'' and ''it'd be easier if you'd be further in your career''. Everything boils down to how many achievements you have under your belt. I went from not caring if people are more successful than me, to seeing anyone that's more successful as a threat I need to overcome and be better than to not be brushed aside, or be seen as a normal boring person and be dumped. I now go to therapy
Our society has currently overdosed on empty virtue signaling which is usually done by people looking for meaning in their otherwise empty irrelevant lives. I like your reality based messages.
Not all people are destined to live an extravagant life. But although I like the simple, boring life, my soul wants to travel and experience life in all ways, and that basically means I need a good paying job to be able to afford it. 😂 But in moderation of course. Also, I want to help more animals in need, more charities, and I can do that by donating money or my time. I need a certain type of success to be able to do that. Nothing crazy though. I truly don’t need millions for this. If getting these millions would be having no life at all. Just working my ass off. Not the lifestyle for me I’m afraid. I resonate so much with your words. 🙂
I think a solution to this is, people must practice the art of reflection and ask themselves big questions about their lives, even if these questions shake their foundations. Also, people, while in reflection, need to sort out their own good desire from those put there by culture, family or some other outside source. Western culture tells you to keep moving, keep producing, but taking action is just one part and the foundational steps are bypassed, which can result in building a life you don't want.
Envy is an infinite hunger that can never be filled, the poor envy the rich and the rich envy the richer and it's the same for any other trait, you're freed from it and finally fulfilled when you dismiss ego/envy for actual experience. Wearing a gucci shirt over a 30 dollar one improves your actual experience something like .01%, but it makes a huge difference if you're caught up in your ego. There's a big difference between being homeless and having money but the greater the amount of money the less it actually improves your life, someone making a decent living is not so much worse off than someone rich, and a millionaire can do absolutely anything meaningful that a billionaire can, maybe they can't buy as many million dollar "valued" paintings that they could just as easily look at, or they have to rent a yacht/cruise instead of buying their own to use just as often, the only difference is in insecurity.
To me, the notion of "average" is inconsistant due to the variety of experiences and situations. Also, there are so many situations i think boredom may be relative. for example, something that can be perceived as interesting when done alone, may be perceived as boring when done with others. Something done over an extended time period may appear as none boring while doing, but terribly boring before or after...so maybe one self can consider,from time to time, what qualify its own boredom and not the one carried and communicated by others.
I´m considering to reduce the work time from 40h/week to about 25. I like to go for a walk in the parks - during the week - because it is not crowded. Same for the pool, supermarket and others. So peaceful. I did it other year and I liked it more than having a full time job.
Its not boring or non ambitious if you like it. If you are working towards something you like your still ambitious. Building/living in a small house in a small town if its a goal is working towards your own ambitions and you should feel happy about that.
Please enjoy life to the fullest, if you were to get sick and the doctor said you are termerly ill ,then your thoughts will change, you are probably depressed because of your new location in Arizona, when you move to a new environment you have to think about if you are going to be happy in the area don't just think about the money you will save,
I so much enjoy your videos. Why so much I ask myself. Well maybe because they're simple without any flash, natural and I guess homey. It's just you and me and you're doing all the talking and making perfect sense. When it comes for the need to be special or successful. Did that come from being told you are special in your younger years or did it come from neglect in your younger years. Not just you but your generation. Thus the need for TH-cam videos. I am trying to figure this out. Was it lack of attention from parents and the breakdown of the DINNER TABLE family. Is it a by product of Parents no being there because of big bills, homes, clothes and cars to give the look of success. Your videos are so thought provoking. I love um. Now I'm a 74 years old a single guy and an introvert. Person who had good jobs and own my house. A simple life which allows me to keep it simple and enjoy the naturalness of day to day life. You are always my go to and you are truly doing it right. The simple things make you feel fulfilled. Shelves, Flooring, etc. Good for you and your honey. Keep the videos coming at your own pace. No expectations. Thanks
we are the same age and I love the way you think Im also a burned out artist seeling her soul to a corporation looking to have more balance in my life success is so personal
I just want to make enough money to create what I want. Buying things never brought me happiness thank god, because you need a lot of money if the only time you feel happy is when you buy a new thing lol
Yep you're describing my current boss about being rich and successful in money but yet his family is really a mess especially his spoiled brat kids that you can obviously see that they have lack of teaching.
I actually realised that recently. Material dont matter to me it doesnt give happines over long time. Spending time with friend stupid dinner with friend in the woods soemone might say but it is the absolute best. And i chose experience over material ,,HEY MORE MONEY MORE EXPERIENCE" remember the rule of diminishing returns
Wish I could give this video 10 thumbs up! "Doing stuff is overrated. Like ••••••. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?" - The Tao Of Steve
After 4 years of a downward spiral that had "wanting to be average" as the motto, out of shaming and then self-shaming that I never "fit in" and was lonely, well guess what, trying to "cool it down" so that the locals liked me (which didn't work) I am at the end of my mediocrity rope. There is great pleasure in the little things, it's true. But there's also great sorrow in dreams unfulfilled, "what would have happened if only...", and just generally being poor and latching on a story that "it's ze capitalism that's to blame". This is one of those questions you just gotta be honest with yourself: are you average and playing small because you were shamed for your brilliance? Or have you tried the success route, achieved things, were totally disillusioned and then concluded, on your own, that yeah, I'd rather play the down low. Only you can answer this.
Ambitious means to be the best possible slave to your government, who will take as much as they can from you, while letting you believe that it's all good.
Lol at these laughable sexist stereotypes. As an Asian male too, have you ever thought about the patriarchal nature of ‘traditional’ Asian societies, particularly when it comes to careers? Many East Asian films have directly dealt with it as a movie theme e.g. the start of Train to Busan
Must be interesting to Brand yourself as a de-motivator 🤔 Born in 1954, my generation was not allowed to sit in the front of a bus, much less carve out a career in the arts. I suggest that her life isn’t quite HARD ENOUGH! She was born with an idea that she was privileged to succeed. That could be her problem. I was born in paradigm where success wasn’t even REMOTELY possible I literally had to wait decades until someone came up with the phrase ”Black Lives Matter” in order to even be seen as a HUMAN BEING in the art world. ALL of it fueled my commitment🔥 It took a while, but if I could make it, ANYBODY CAN!!🎨
You most likely worked in Burbank. So, can you be more honest or clear about working in Hollywood? And, at best animation people are second or third class to “Hollywood People”. The fame and wealth you talk about in that bracket is a far cry from true Hollywood fame and wealth. You talk about some interesting things, but it’s hard to digest when I see how misleading you are about the Burbank life that you left which I’ve personally lived for more than 2 decades.
I Luv down-time, enjoying my Movies, Lounge Jazz, reading a real book📗 I don't care what anyone thinks about it...I am at peace. Thank you for taking time out of your Life to chat over tea 🍵Time well spent🧸
What are your thoughts on living a "boring" life at 30? Do you think being “average” is bad? Share your stories in the comments below and let's start a conversation. Remember, sometimes it's the simple, mundane moments that bring us the most fulfillment and contentment.
I think what drives most people is actually freedom, and many people equate that with having enough money to not need to work.
sometimes we forget that the "average" US life has a much higher quality than the "average" life lived in many other countries. i told my kids that they should be happy they were born in the USA. Lucky draw there.
@@MisterFudan tell me about your health system
Here’s an idea. Instead of using social media for therapy - seek an actual therapist 🤷🏾
is that what Disney's had turned into? and toxic work place?
do I think average is bad? aren't we are all average? if some people said otherwise i'll say they're over their head and need to get off their high horse. I also worked myself to half death, but since having a really severe health problem, surface level stuff (money, fame, status...) just aren't that interesting to me. I appreciate slower pace lifestyle, it truly is a wonderful feeling. And I'm working toward that.
honestly, I think if you set a goal for yourself every year and achieve it, eventually you'll build something extraordinary. You don't have to chase it. If you see someone endlessly talking about success, being extraordinary, live to your true potential, and then look down on "average" people. It shows these people never done anything in their life, pretty much just yapping their trap.
I'm also a seasoned storyboard artist. Still working in Hollywood (even in some high profile jobs). I rejected being a staff in major studios (including Disney), I only do freelance or contracted works for them. And because I'm freelancing, I'm able to start a company and actually triple or quadruple what I can make by myself (plus I have expenses I can write off under my company). Also run a side business as a landlord. I design and build cars and motorcycle as a hobby and wanting to turn them into actual products. I also worked on so many viral videos, campaigns, trailers, films, commercials, games, MVs. And i'm net 1m+.
are these the achievements people are looking for? yeah. I can drop all these in their face just to shut them up. Because I been there, and done that, and I know what it's liked already. And to the critics, they haven't, so to them, money and success are fantasies.
but at the end of the day, I'm still average.
My goal is just give jobs to my employees so they can make a living to support their families. That's why I work. That's what fulfillment is to me, taking care of the people that I love. The rests are just trivial.
I think a big problem is that ambitions is associated with monetary success like a great job or money.
We don't seem to encourage ambition that fuels our hobbies, art, or passions that serve pure self fulfillment. Aspiring to collect something that gives you joy or do clubs as an adult is seen as a waste of time if it's not "getting you closer to your future goals."
We've made ambitions this daunting thing for only the big dreams in life that we don't feel validated wanting to persue the little things in life and provide just as much happiness.
I don’t want or need to be rich, I just want to be financially secure enough to not constantly worry about money. I don’t know what it’s like to not be flat broke. I just want to be successful enough to comfortably pay bills and have some savings put away in case of an emergency. I think the economy is exacerbating hustle culture because we almost have to work ourselves into the ground just to make ends meet.
I feel exactly the same, I’m so tired. Send hug 🫂🤍
I talked to my 95 year old mom today and we talked about everything you are saying. All her best times in life had nothing to do with money. Money should equal freedom not more stuff
I’m ready to be boring, normal and just chill when I’m off work. Not constantly stressed out. No more 12hr days 6 days a week.
What type of work do you do now?
@@da009999 used to work in the film industry doing post production sound. If you work in television this is really common in order to make deadlines.
@@da009999 now I’m back in school for accounting but also flip cars with my pops so I don’t need to have a 9-5 while in school full time.
Most of us wont get rich anyway .. so embrace life .. if you need less you dont need to get rich .. other than rich of life , which youl become if you embrace it
To be alive is extraordinary. It feels so good to just LIVE and be in the present. Life is such a gift.
Contentment is a spiritual journey. There really are forces which want us jealous, discontent, and unhappy.
Absolutely. And the spiritual is contentment. If you are all material, you are doomed. As you get older, you will have nothing to buttress you. The emptiness we feel is most certainly of a spiritual nature.
I feel this! I definitely just exist at this point in my life. I like being at home and randomly go out to do simple things. Travel a little but nothing too stressful. I get judged often
To add to 2:37, I am friends with a therapist who has rich clients. Of course, they don’t go into detail and are deliberately vague for professional medical confidentiality reasons, but yeah, a lot of those rich families have messed up family lives in which the parent thinks they can just buy off their children’s love or buy off their family problems by hiring them to ‘fix it’.
You can’t. That said, they’ve stated many richer parents do recognise it’s a problem and do actively work to make it better, but many think they can buy everything off.
If you remember Angelica from the Rugrats and how Angelica suffered significant child abandonment issues due to her Mum being away all the time due to work and fobbing off parental responsibility to their nanny and stay-at-home Dad, yeah, that occurs in real life far more often than you think with high income families.
Rugrats dealt with a lot of very deep adult themes in reality.
I thought you were about to paint that entire wall with that tiny brush. That would’ve been ambitious AF! 😂
It’s called cutting
Watching this video after a long day of grinding. I just broke down crying cause I’m exhausted. I fear not achieving my goals and trying to prove to myself and to my parents I’m worth something. I went through a lot of hardship and I don’t want it to be all for nothing
Just have a beer with me
I love this video so much. SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!
I absolutely DO NOT regret living my life on my own terms and different than everybody else. And as a result... I get tons of feedback telling me how awesome and enviable my life is now that I'm in my retirement years.
This was truly eye-opening. I'm still young and I certainly am trapped in that "wanting to be special" mindset. I'm trying to build an extraordinary life, I get upset over not-perfect grades. (I cried over a 95% overall final grade, -yes, I also hate myself for it.) I'm going into 12th grade next September so I know it's going to be chaotic at best, having to ace university entrance exams. I just want to be a little boy again, with not a worry in my head. Instead, I'm applying to summer jobs every day, getting upset because no one wants to hire an inexperienced 17-year-old. I only feel like I belong in the grind culture of the education system. I even have picked the master's and Ph.D. that I want to do *after* I finish a degree I am not doing yet. I want to be a professor when I finish my studies. I even am buying next year's books right now to start studying during the summer. I feel like I need to grind to the max before I deserve to relax.
Part of you may really enjoy learning which is cool and we all need to earn a living unless our partner takes that on 100% for us- but too many of us are burning ourselves out and sacrificing our lives out of fear of judgement from other people. Like you said too the wanting to be special mindset. I get that. It can be helpful to find ways to embrace ordinariness and redefine success for yourself to include wellness and joy and love versus constant accomplishments that feel empty. I do believe creativity and Learning can bring value and joy and fulfillment but you have to do discern is this something worthy of my time and curiosity because I am genuinely interested in it and as a win-win can serve others and myself by giving it some attention- or is it a lose-lose because I am chasing something I think I should do that I don’t enjoy which others can feel that energy so am I really even making a positive impact? And we don’t all have to do these massive things the everyday little ways we show up for the people around us IS impactful and changes the world.
This is all fine and dandy, and I'm on YOUR side....but, someone HAS to work! And if you weren't married, what would you BE doing to make $$..?? I mean all the things you talk about, the burnout, the huge hit working takes on your overall health and so on. For most men, that is our ENTIRE life, we can't quit. I know it's been mine, and I KNOW it was my Dad's too, he was wiped out by the time retirement came along. Maybe your Dad as well? Lets face it, life can be hard, period..
It's absolutely important to show young people that there are more important things than being flashy or famous. I love your videos and your perspective - just want to make that clear upfront. However, this one has stuck in my mind for the past week or two because I think there's a conversation to be had about why young people are ambitious. Granted, there are some who want to overachieve because they just feel like they have something to prove. I have met a lot of those people myself. But that's not most people. Most of us don't want the big city life, we want to get to where you are. The fantasy of living simply in a small town without having to struggle to meet our basic needs. That's our real ambition.
Why did I push so hard through every extracurricular, and make sure I got a scholarship, and why did I push so hard through every college class and every internship? It's not because I was afraid of being boring or lazy. It's because my parents warned me that we were very poor and they wouldn't be able to support me if I graduated and couldn't support myself. If I didn't go to the big city long enough to get a degree that would earn me a job paying more than minimum wage, I was going to end up on the street. And in fact, I did end up homeless over the summers during college, despite being at a very prestigious university, because my scholarship didn't cover summer housing and I didn't make enough yet. In the meantime, I just had to put up with it until I had the degree that could earn me the money to live well.
The choice between the big city and the small town never existed for me - the only way to get to the small town was by going through the big city first. My friends who tried to choose a simpler life too early are now struggling to make ends meet, living in trailer parks, going without the therapy they need (which leads to spirals of addiction and mental health crises), and staying in abusive relationships because they need two incomes to stay afloat. A quiet life initially looks cheap, but it's expensive. Retirement-friendly areas are especially expensive. I am still at a fast-paced company that exhausts me because I need to work here at least another couple years before I can buy a 2 bedroom, under $200,000 home without taking out a crazy mortgage. I'm trying. Believe me, I'm trying. Peace, and making a little home for my family, and spending more time with my loved ones, these are my dearest ambitions. I just can't get there yet.
Your perspective as a 30 year old is what I started to realize as a 40 year old.
Thank you. And it truly frustrates me when people describe quiet lives as boring; as if extroverts' idea of fun is the only one that matters.
It's interesting you talk about all this while doing DIY on your home. I moved out of the big city into a house by the countryside, and now live what people would call a "boring" life - dedicated to my wife, my son, my dogs, tending my garden, growing my vegetables, and doing a whole lot of DIY constantly improving our home. My social life is down to a bare minimum. And I've never felt happier and more fulfilled in my entire life.
Although it could be the case that some people would rather focus on their work rather than their family, the majority of the time it is due to something deeper. Workaholics seem to have little to no boundaries, constant thoughts of not being "good enough", and toxic shame. These traits stem from early childhood from parents/caregivers that were emotionally unavailable, neglectful, or abusive. You are 100% right in saying these people aren't happy with themselves and will probably never be until they address the root cause and change their thought patterns & inner critic.
Not everyone is suited for 'success' by temperament, and I was older than you when I realised that. Also, contentment is wildly underrated.
Ambitions for capitalism is the modern equivalent of faith for religion.
Religion makes you believe you'll get "rewarded" in the afterlife if you're a good peasant during your life and accept living in poverty while royalty and church live in wealth.
Capitalism makes you believe you'll find happiness later if you "work hard" now, and you're "successful".
Instant gratification and pleasure are seen as sins in both.
Both religion and capitalism conditions us into focusing mainly on the future (the happiness/reward, always comes later).
People are only pursuing their future, instead of living in the present, which would be more logical, as life could stop any time.
People unconsciously refrain themselves from living the moment and from being happy, to pursue their ambitions.
"I'll be happy when I get a car, when I'll get that dream job, then I'll need a house, then maybe I'll be happy when I get married, then a dog and kids, then a new ipad, but finally, did I really wanted all that... then divorce, etc....".
Eternal frustration + not enjoying the moment = good little workers/consummers who don't question why they feel depressed.
As if happiness and love needed some kind of conditions to meet or was some kind of reward that you have to "deserve".
Sadly, this is hard to get around this.
Men without "ambitions" have much less chances to find a significant other. I'm talking about capitalistic and competitive ambitions as described in the video, of course.
It will only get worse for the next generations.
I believe genuine and simple goals are far more interesting. As in "I want to make my own manga because I love doing this", or "I want to get good at guitar, just for the fun of it".
It's not necessarily "boring", but could be seen as "pointless" (as in, it doesn't help you to get rich)
Pointless little things are the most enjoyable and don't necessarily need that much cash that you need to sacrifice half of your lifetime to allow yourself to enjoy it...
Sorry for the long post, just some thoughts and feelings, I'm far from holding the absolute truth
I think humans may be wired for "religious" thinking. Even our economic systems mimic religion in terms of a hierarchy of morality with rules to follow to succeed and belief in being rewarded for your sacrifices. We don't have to live like this to unlock happiness.
Amen sister. Well said.
Enjoyed this. So true
Professionalism is overrated - being an amateur is pretty dope.
You are very lucky to have figured out what being successful really is. To be happy with who you are and enjoy what you have and not give a whoot about what others think. You are a wise young woman.
I relate so much to what you say and I am glad I discovered your channel. Sending you lots of love!
I took a week of vacation and spent it cleaning out my garage. That wasn't the plan but no regrets. A week home listening to college radio, throwing junk away and organizing my garage was priceless. Simple living is so underrated.
makes sense to me and now i know i’m definitely ambitious ❤
You need ambition because life is always gonna give you much less than you want. So always aim high 😅
Always. The last 3 years I became a homebody, and everyone seems to have a problem with it. So I search on TH-cam for like-minded people like :)
I'm going to clear this up for you. Being ambitious is not for everyone. If a 9-5 suits you, that's ok. But, if you feel like you have more potential and wish to capitalize on your motivation, by all means test your potential. At least you'll know you've tried. Failure is not losing, failure is not trying!
Preach, girl!!!! 👏👏💞😌 I needed to hear this from another person, because I think about these things all the time, and they sometimes freak me out! It’s scary to feel all of this pressure from people and society … and also from myself. Uh 😐
I never wanted to go into management. I just wanted to be able to provide for my family and to be comfortable. I always attended all of my children’s field trips and sorting events. I just did not get much sleep. Now I work 3 days a week from home and spend four days with my family. I no longer have to rush around running errands. I have everything that I could ever need. Money buys security and you will never have enough of it unless you are able to be content. I grew up poor so it does not take much for me to feel successful.
i like your perspectives on things!!!! i left LA almost a year ago, for Chicago, i'm so much better to me, Congradulations on following your way!!!! yes i feel judged all the time, i come to not care so much
I agree there is a toxicity to this hustle culture but in order to get to where you guys find yourselves now, having a house and somewhat retired with ample time to now start a family if you wish at a young age, for most people in this world that is a huge privilege and something that we have to go through the ambitious "hustle" cycle first to reach that level. You guys have "made it" and congratulations to you. But for everyone else if you still going through the grind in order to achieve your goals and help out your family, never feel shamed for the sacrifices you have to make. Your future generations will have that step up that you never had and will thank you for their easier and more "boring" life.
exactly. There does have to be sacrifice in the beginning before getting these things, unless you're a trust fund baby. She has worked really hard on her youtube channel, and her days at Disney I'm sure made her art really great to the level that she could sell a lot at conventions. It was all hustle and contributed to what she has today! Hustle is necessary but hopefully it doesn't have to last too long!
Love the video. Keep dong what u love cant wait for more. Might look if u have any tutorials for plants
This video really resonates with me as someone who was born into generational wealth and rejecting the lifestyle people have implicitly associated with me because of it for years. Awesome analysis; am on exactly the same page as you are. Give my quiet life in the suburbs away from all of the chaos... thanks!
6:45 forces beyond your control that dont want you to be grateful for what you have
Yes! It is important go learn to be gratefull, to be content with the little things. The simple things. Nature is so important too!
Looking at the comments it felt wonderful to know that I am not the only one who desires a non-extraordinary boring life❤
having dated a person like this, I can fully understand. My ex'd always talk about how 'this is a great sacrifice and they need to work now, want achieve everything before 40 , before they will be ready to date'' and ''it'd be easier if you'd be further in your career''. Everything boils down to how many achievements you have under your belt. I went from not caring if people are more successful than me, to seeing anyone that's more successful as a threat I need to overcome and be better than to not be brushed aside, or be seen as a normal boring person and be dumped. I now go to therapy
Our society has currently overdosed on empty virtue signaling which is usually done by people looking for meaning in their otherwise empty irrelevant lives. I like your reality based messages.
I love this. Ty
Not all people are destined to live an extravagant life. But although I like the simple, boring life, my soul wants to travel and experience life in all ways, and that basically means I need a good paying job to be able to afford it. 😂 But in moderation of course. Also, I want to help more animals in need, more charities, and I can do that by donating money or my time. I need a certain type of success to be able to do that. Nothing crazy though. I truly don’t need millions for this. If getting these millions would be having no life at all. Just working my ass off. Not the lifestyle for me I’m afraid.
I resonate so much with your words. 🙂
I think a solution to this is, people must practice the art of reflection and ask themselves big questions about their lives, even if these questions shake their foundations. Also, people, while in reflection, need to sort out their own good desire from those put there by culture, family or some other outside source.
Western culture tells you to keep moving, keep producing, but taking action is just one part and the foundational steps are bypassed, which can result in building a life you don't want.
wow. just wow. Thank you.
i wish i would have watched this video at age 30. i could have increased my happy years by 20. (im 50 now)
I love you❤so glad I found your channel!
People are pressured to do well . Everyone tells everyone how to do everything.
Envy is an infinite hunger that can never be filled, the poor envy the rich and the rich envy the richer and it's the same for any other trait, you're freed from it and finally fulfilled when you dismiss ego/envy for actual experience. Wearing a gucci shirt over a 30 dollar one improves your actual experience something like .01%, but it makes a huge difference if you're caught up in your ego. There's a big difference between being homeless and having money but the greater the amount of money the less it actually improves your life, someone making a decent living is not so much worse off than someone rich, and a millionaire can do absolutely anything meaningful that a billionaire can, maybe they can't buy as many million dollar "valued" paintings that they could just as easily look at, or they have to rent a yacht/cruise instead of buying their own to use just as often, the only difference is in insecurity.
To me, the notion of "average" is inconsistant due to the variety of experiences and situations. Also, there are so many situations i think boredom may be relative. for example, something that can be perceived as interesting when done alone, may be perceived as boring when done with others. Something done over an extended time period may appear as none boring while doing, but terribly boring before or after...so maybe one self can consider,from time to time, what qualify its own boredom and not the one carried and communicated by others.
I´m considering to reduce the work time from 40h/week to about 25. I like to go for a walk in the parks - during the week - because it is not crowded. Same for the pool, supermarket and others. So peaceful. I did it other year and I liked it more than having a full time job.
Yes I feel her . I wish i spent more time drawing.
Its not boring or non ambitious if you like it. If you are working towards something you like your still ambitious. Building/living in a small house in a small town if its a goal is working towards your own ambitions and you should feel happy about that.
When you describe about living a little bit mundane and boring life reminds me of that song Royals from Lorde
Please enjoy life to the fullest, if you were to get sick and the doctor said you are termerly ill ,then your thoughts will change, you are probably depressed because of your new location in Arizona, when you move to a new environment you have to think about if you are going to be happy in the area don't just think about the money you will save,
I so much enjoy your videos. Why so much I ask myself. Well maybe because they're simple without any flash, natural and I guess homey. It's just you and me and you're doing all the talking and making perfect sense. When it comes for the need to be special or successful. Did that come from being told you are special in your younger years or did it come from neglect in your younger years. Not just you but your generation. Thus the need for TH-cam videos. I am trying to figure this out. Was it lack of attention from parents and the breakdown of the DINNER TABLE family.
Is it a by product of Parents no being there because of big bills, homes, clothes and cars to give the look of success. Your videos are so thought provoking. I love um.
Now I'm a 74 years old a single guy and an introvert. Person who had good jobs and own my house. A simple life which allows me to keep it simple and enjoy the naturalness of day to day life.
You are always my go to and you are truly doing it right. The simple things make you feel fulfilled. Shelves, Flooring, etc. Good for you and your honey. Keep the videos coming at your own pace. No expectations.
Thanks
we are the same age and I love the way you think
Im also a burned out artist seeling her soul to a corporation looking to have more balance in my life
success is so personal
I just want to make enough money to create what I want. Buying things never brought me happiness thank god, because you need a lot of money if the only time you feel happy is when you buy a new thing lol
Yep you're describing my current boss about being rich and successful in money but yet his family is really a mess especially his spoiled brat kids that you can obviously see that they have lack of teaching.
I love how the Academy Award is turned around. Haha.
I love money but I also live my life like you.
I actually realised that recently. Material dont matter to me it doesnt give happines over long time. Spending time with friend stupid dinner with friend in the woods soemone might say but it is the absolute best. And i chose experience over material ,,HEY MORE MONEY MORE EXPERIENCE" remember the rule of diminishing returns
A deadbolt on the front door may be a good idea...
Wish I could give this video 10 thumbs up!
"Doing stuff is overrated. Like ••••••. He did a lot. But don't we all wish he woulda just stayed home and gotten stoned?" - The Tao Of Steve
I just wanna make enough money not to have to worry about rent/groceries/phone bill, etc and to write stories and paint in my spare time.
i agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After 4 years of a downward spiral that had "wanting to be average" as the motto, out of shaming and then self-shaming that I never "fit in" and was lonely, well guess what, trying to "cool it down" so that the locals liked me (which didn't work) I am at the end of my mediocrity rope. There is great pleasure in the little things, it's true. But there's also great sorrow in dreams unfulfilled, "what would have happened if only...", and just generally being poor and latching on a story that "it's ze capitalism that's to blame". This is one of those questions you just gotta be honest with yourself: are you average and playing small because you were shamed for your brilliance? Or have you tried the success route, achieved things, were totally disillusioned and then concluded, on your own, that yeah, I'd rather play the down low. Only you can answer this.
Even God said “you shall not covet”! Or envy what others have.
You worry a lot 😅. Maybe ambition creates worry
You'd be a great psychologist.
So cool video I totally agree let's make it. Bilion views so. We end this nonsense and. Be just normal
Ambitious means to be the best possible slave to your government, who will take as much as they can from you, while letting you believe that it's all good.
Have you thought about that ambition isn't that important to women?
And that for men ambition is important to some degree.
Lol at these laughable sexist stereotypes. As an Asian male too, have you ever thought about the patriarchal nature of ‘traditional’ Asian societies, particularly when it comes to careers?
Many East Asian films have directly dealt with it as a movie theme e.g. the start of Train to Busan
Orientals have a reputation for being too ambitious. Think tiger mom and all the orintals i knew in college. Sounds like you have over come that.
She has no ambition when she talks. Sounds like she is falling asleep 😂
Must be interesting to Brand yourself as a de-motivator 🤔
Born in 1954, my generation was not allowed to sit in the front of a bus, much less carve out a career in the arts.
I suggest that her life isn’t quite HARD ENOUGH! She was born with an idea that she was privileged to succeed. That could be her problem.
I was born in paradigm where success wasn’t even REMOTELY possible
I literally had to wait decades until someone came up with the phrase ”Black Lives Matter” in order to even be seen as a HUMAN BEING in the art world.
ALL of it fueled my commitment🔥
It took a while, but if I could make it, ANYBODY CAN!!🎨
Sounds like you are coping tbh
You most likely worked in Burbank. So, can you be more honest or clear about working in Hollywood? And, at best animation people are second or third class to “Hollywood People”. The fame and wealth you talk about in that bracket is a far cry from true Hollywood fame and wealth. You talk about some interesting things, but it’s hard to digest when I see how misleading you are about the Burbank life that you left which I’ve personally lived for more than 2 decades.
Don't fucking Change - I Love you, Stay Safe - Prayers
I Luv down-time, enjoying my Movies, Lounge Jazz, reading a real book📗 I don't care what anyone thinks about it...I am at peace. Thank you for taking time out of your Life to chat over tea 🍵Time well spent🧸
can we hook up sometime?