I quit planning "full" days. Now I plan half days to get things done. I used to feel that I wasn't as productive as other people and wondered what was wrong with me. I've since learned that I'm not the only one who can become overwhelmed from packed days. By planning half days, I have the freedom to make adjustments to my schedule as needed; that, and not having "full" days, means I get my tasks done. Sometimes if I have extra time, I use it to do other tasks, and sometimes I use it for down time. With more "free time" in my schedule, I'm actually MORE productive, feel good about what I'm accomplishing, and don't feel like a failure anymore. And I feel more relaxed and accepting of who I am.
@@JaneDoeDoeDeeOhDoe Wow! This is great! Now I don't feel guilty if I'm not busy all day. Because I am never busy all day. I get easily overwhelmed anymore. I am going to implement "half days" starting tomorrow. Thank you!
Thank you for pointing out "don't save your favorite things for rare occasions" - I'll wear my favorite jewelries more as they give me so much positive energy.
As a HSP I stopped watching television over ten years ago. I am not on any social media platforms except TH-cam. I am a knitter and I do enjoy learning new techniques by watching tutorials. I started embracing slow living and minimalism about four years ago. The results of doing this has really helped me set boundaries. I stopped people pleasing and I have learned to appreciate my value with or without any one’s approval. I feel free and that is priceless. I really enjoy your channel, thank you for the valuable content.
It’s validating to hear someone else talk about the effects of media on your mood! I find myself justifying why I don’t want to watch a show to my friends and family, usually saying something like “I have enough anxiety in my life, I don’t need to add fictional character drama” 😅
Hello from Texas, USA. Your comment about every day being special resonated with me. My niece passed away 15 years ago from cancer at the age of 22. She had a sixth month old son at the time of her diagnosis. She lived the next eight months to make every day special for her and her son. Your time on earth is very short, and if you wait for a “special occasion,” it may never come. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your favorite things every day!
I love this about the comfy clothes. My friend taught me this actually...he never wears uncomfortable clothes and is always bragging about how comfy he is, lol! So I'm basically doing the same thing now. Loose fitting clothing, soft materials, and sports bras when I can are my jam now. Helps improve my mood and lower my stress level.
I stopping going out on the weekends. I avoid events, stores or even social gatherings. Saturday especially is my time. I want to use it to fill my cup, not empty it and doing all these activities outside the house just drain me. Yesterday a fellow parent at pick up from school time asked me if I was doing the Halloween festival the school was hosting- I told her no, I avoid people on weekends 😅
Ha ha that's so funny! Telling that woman that you avoid people on the weekends! I know what you meant. Saturday is my "free" day, too, so is Sunday. Enjoy!
I’m the same way except my day is Sundays😊 Even when my kids were little I’d make sure they had no scheduled activities on the weekends. Occasionally they’d have a birthday party or something to go to, but we only said yes to a party of a friend they were actually close with. We’d say no to all of the extra parties where they were invited just because the whole class was invited. I’m a firm believer that kids need downtime too. They could do whatever activities or sports they wanted to during the week as long as our weekends were free. They’d spend weekends actually playing outside together or with neighborhood kids and just having family time. It was absolutely wonderful. They’re 18 and 22 now and they still like to just relax on the weekends😊 Recently, my daughter told me that she was thinking about what an amazing childhood my husband and I gave her and her brother. It totally warmed my heart❤️
Maybe a partner or family member could take your child to the Halloween festival? It's passed now but your child might enjoy the excitement even if you don't otherwise they'll become as you are by example ... don't get me wrong but we're all different characters and they may naturally be more extrovert ? 🎉
You are so wise, Vera. I tend to save things for best and perfumes do go off, clothes no longer fit, my tastes change, etc. You are so,so right. Every day is a special day. We've woken up, we are alive, we are so fortunate to have these beautiful things. I'm going to try to be more like you. Plus... I've been with you since about 130k followers and I'm blown away by the success of your channel! It's so hugely deserved. You're one of my favourite creators, alongside Benita Larsson and Jen from Silver and Solo. Congratulations, Vera!
This was so relevant to me re Duolingo. I was actually learning some Spanish until I was promoted to the Diamond League and have become almost obsessed with finishing in the top three. By staying up until almost midnight every Sunday night to get a head start on the next week I could stay at the top but at the same time feeling tired and stressed and not actually progressing with the language skills. This resonated enough that I am quitting the high competitive league and going back to actually leaning espanol. Thanks for the wake-up call. Ha
As an HSP and a recovering co-dependent who my entire life has had trouble saying "No" to invitations because I was so flattered and happy they asked me and I didn't want to hurt them by declining their invitation, I think I have finally taught myself that it is OK to say "no" and to do or not do things we don't want to do. I will not be at a Rugby match today that a waiter in a restaurant I frequent wants me to be at. He said he is going to "hold me to it" that I attend this event. It would require me to do a ton of walking from my car to the field, and stand up the entire game as I don't have a folding chair to bring, (no bleachers there) and no cover to stand under, AND it will be pouring rain (100% chance of rain). At 72, my legs don't work like they use to. Ten or twenty years ago, I would have gone and been cold, wet and miserable. It's been a long road to realize I should put myself first. Also, today is Saturday ..... my FREE day! Thank you for this video! It is very "cementing" for me. Is that a word? Probably not. 😂 Enjoy your Saturdays, everyone out there! ❤
I can relate to what you said! I’m also older and don’t have the stamina I used to. Plus, I have lower back issues, so I’ve found myself slowly accepting my limitations even though I want to compete with my younger self and do all the things I used to be able to do. I hope you have a great great weekend as well 🌼
I agree 100% with what you said about not making self deprecating remarks. This is something I've done for years, usually because, like you, I'm poking fun at myself if I make a mistake or do something silly, or sometimes because I'm trying to make someone else feel better about themselves. One of the things I have often said is "me and my little pea brain". I've realized though that the big problem with doing this is that people actually believe you! They don't seem to take it in the way you intend, as a joke, but take it at face value. It's something I'm really working on not doing anymore.
One tip from this channel that stuck was to “read for fun.” The productivity books start to blur and I noticed all the gurus blurb each others books and interview each other on their podcasts. So for 2025 - all old fiction. Hemingway, Twain, Steinbeck and Fitzgerald. Simple.
The thing I dropped when I started simplifying my life was listening to music. I found that sometimes it was just too much noise in my head and I don’t want to get bothered by earworms anymore!
As a gen x, “saving stuff” was drilled into me. But times change. Now you rarely recoup any $ for things you bought. Eg. my $2000 ring is now only worth $400. I sold it bc although beautiful, it held complicated emotions for me. I’m proud I did it! I also love donating to my buy nothing group as it brings true joy to others and also to me much more than the stuff ever did. Thank you Vera! ❤❤❤
Love this, "I stopped accepting free things, and samples. If it is not something that I would have been willing to pay for, if it wasn't free. Even free items come with a cost." Thank you Vera for this video.
100% ! I nearly signed up for a free stuff online account bit really half the stuff wasn't relevant for me and then I'd have an extra job of passing it on to family and friends plus more emails with vouchers etc ... just too much more!!
Agree with so much of this. However, listening to music, especially old, familiar music from my teens, is my comfort... Like putting on the most comfortable old sweatshirt. Love your channel ❤
Best regards to you, Vera, from a subscriber in Ukraine! Your videos are like a warm hug! They always calm me down. I have cut down on wearing make-up in simplifying things. I am blond with such light eyebrows and eyelashes that they look almost non-existent. I always would wear a minimal amount before: a mascara and an eyebrow pencil, but now I use just a mascara and let my natural eyebrow color show. Also, I have days when I don't wear any make-up: I'm learning to accept and be ok with my natural look, which is hard at times, however, at times it even feels enjoyable. I feel liberated from the shackles of needing to wear make-up to feel confident and accepted by people!
i wish you good luck and a less stressful life, you’re doing what’s good, actually better for you and for your well-being, not having to conform to someone else’s idea of what’s attractive or not. Too much advertising with impossible, unnatural, airbrushed ‘beauty’ is the big culprit, causing many, especially younger insecure people, anxiety and worry. Don’t let it affect you! Wish you all the best Maria.. ❣️😘
I have made a major switch with the types of movies and books that I am reading. I am choosing to watch and read books that do not cause me, anxiety, or to lose sleep. In the past, I have been pressured into shows and books because other people think that I should watch them or read them. I used to be into really good, heavy literature, but found that sometimes these books would cause me anxiety. If I am happy reading fantasy and fluffy books, I will read them now guilt free. If I choose a hallmark movie over a serious drama, I will not feel guilty over that as well. Thank you for another wonderful video, you are always inspiring💖
Hi Vera, I hope you are enjoying your weekend. I agree with everything you said. Around 2015, I got rid of all TVs from my home. It's one of the best things I ever did. About two years ago, I dumped the few true crime books I had bought, and all depressing music CDs ( goodbye Leonard Cohen!😂). I never accept free samples, I only wear comfortable clothes and footwear, I don't gossip. I had to block certain people who were incessantly phoning me, I spend less time on social media. And the "good" things I have in my home that friends have told me I should not use because they are "too good", well, I don't understand that way of thinking, I have always used my "good" things, they have been made for us to use and enjoy. Every day is a special day. Your videos are lovely, you have a calm and gentle spirit, take care of that always.❤ Also, your hair is beautiful. Love from Dublin.❤
I stopped watching TV and movies since a few years. I realized that especially series keep us wanting for more and I can't have anything else control me. Though I still spend time daily on social media, I feel it's under my control. I set boundaries for it.
Vera, you look lovely as usual, but I just wanted to say that is my favorite way you wear your hair. I know you try different things with your hair and I love it braided as well. This is a very important message you’ve given us today.
❤️ love ❤️ how you identify and explain! I am an HSP kindred spirit and how I wish I had your wisdom 30 years earlier 😁 It took some dramatic life transitions and chronic illness to realize these great truths. What freedom now! If it is toxic (whether family, friends, ideas, activities, or stuff) it goes. I do my best to love, forgive, and strive with people, but sometimes you need to let people journey another path. Same goes with stuff. For every negative comment (yes that means my own too) it takes 8 positive comments just to equalize! Thank you for being a blessing and helping us to be greater blessings to others ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your kind words and all the good vibes! Happy to hear that simplifying and intentional living is helping you live your best life too :) Have a wonderful weekend!
Very astute insights. One thing I've tried to be more mindful of is "discount" shopping at the grocery store. I want to save money but stopped buying items just because there is a coupon or buying a certain number of items to receive a discount. I'm saving more money just buying what I know I need and am wasting less food as well.
I agree about not gossiping. It usually perpetuates negativity, usually based on speculation (not fact). I grew up in an extended family that uses a lot of self-deprecating humor. It's used to lighten the mood, and show that one doesn't take themselves too seriously. At one point, I took a lot of heat from others over it. "You shouldn't be negative about yourself, because your body hears and absorbs it as criticism ..." I wasn't calling myself stupid, but if I stumbled, I might say, "Nobody's going to mistake me for Princess Grace!" I took constant carping over this, until I visited my aunt, who made a comment (about herself) in a similar way - and nobody gave it a second thought. I immediately felt great relief. I decided to revert to my old ways, brushing aside further (well-intentioned?) comments, which DID leave me feeling bad. I do a lot better when I'm allowed to be my authentic self. 🤪
I used to be addicted to social media, my highest screen time was 14 hours in one day, and energy drinks, I was drinking upwards of 6 cans a day for almost 3 years. I switched those bad habits for an hour of youtube daily and drinking tea instead, it's made a massive difference to my mental/physical health. Also, I like to romanticise life by pretending I'm a character in a movie, for example a 40s film noir while I drink in a cafe or a studio ghibli film while I'm walking in a park. It may sound strange but it makes the every day problems seem like plot twists in your movie/life. Great video as always Vera ❤
I have been trying to just say no, thank you, without an explanation. They do not need one. They aren’t my friend. It’s hard because I feel we as women are trained to have a reason for everything. I remind myself “yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers. ❤
Odd things I have given up after simplifying my life: shoes - I wear my Birkenstock sandals anywhere, anytime regardless of how others are dressing - my feet thank me! Cable TV - this helps to keep my screen time down to about an hour a day at most, just TH-cam and Prime now. So many subscriptions that self-renew, try it free for 1 month and before you know it you've been subscribed for a year or more. Buying books - if I can borrow it from the library, or stream it from a catalogue I prefer that over buying, unless I expect to read it over and over again. Expensive jewellery - gemstones and precious metals are mainly to impress others or to intimidate them - I don't want to do either of those - the only time I wear them now is as battle armour when I am feeling overly insecure going into a threatening situation. Going to a hairdresser - I learned to cut my own hair, and my husband's - it isn't perfect, but I never liked being in the salon chair and am happy to be free of it. Great video Vera, always love your content :-)
Many good suggestions, some I need to practice more. One further, similar to watchiing shows, you might want to think about how much news you watch or listen to. I can get upset over something, and I'm not going to do anything about it, so it feels good to take a break.
Love ur posts I waz watching an older one last nite when u talked about only having a few friends...I forced myself to have relationships but I was exhausted as I am a introvert...I have listened to u it really helped me allowed me to let go of people xxxx
Love Vera from England 🇬🇧... may I also suggest a video about changing the pattern of feeling guilt when we are recharging our batteries not being lazy by not doing things all the time...and instead to have feelings of contentment and satisfaction
I noticed this for myself quite a while back regarding the effects of entertainment on my nervous system. Now the entertainment that I consume, which I try to keep somewhat minimal, could be considered quite “vanilla” by many people! I love all kinds of music, but I am very selective from every genre. I watch almost no “shows,” and the movies I watch are generally uplifting and interesting. I never had any tolerance for gratuitous violence or anything that’s too physically graphic. For the most part of these these days, my entertainment comes largely from TH-cam! There is so much on TH-cam that is interesting - if you are selective.
Negaturity should be a word, haha! I’ve found myself lately restructuring how I speak or approach my thoughts and feelings when I journal lately. When we talk or write things down, we’re re-enforcing something into existence from our minds.
I have admitted that cooking-- really cooking-- is not something I want to spend my time on. I have friends who are capital-F Foodies, but I'm not. I enjoy improvising a pot of soup on a cold evening in 15 mins, or batch-cooking chili or stew once a week. Otherwise I'm perfectly happy with sautéed veggies with cheese and crackers for dinner. As long as it's simple, nourishing food, it works for me. Self-care for me right now is less Doing.
Hello from the states, I've been a minimalist for 4 yrs (an extreme minimalist for 2 yrs) and I find your channel to be so relatable. Thank you for sharing your insights with us!
It's true about the content we consume in general. I used to be a huge True Crime junkie, and recently stopped watching it so much because its not good for our minds... I'm sure I will still watch it every once in a while, but I just feel better not having those negative things on my mind....
Good thoughts that got me thinking and gave motivation to be more proactive about my life. I deleted my facebook profile some time ago, because I didn't really use it for communication anymore, just occasionally logged in to see what's going on in these people's lives whom I haven't had nothing to do with in ages or never was very close, mostly feeling behind in life and bad after that. I also always had to check, if I have lost some facebook friends. I have instagram profile to look certain profiles, like my favourite bands, but I try to avoid anything that makes me feel bad about myself and compare myself to others.
Yes! I cut out The Private Practice because the drama and ethical questions wound me up in such a way my husband pointed out it sounded like emotional porn. Was really eye opening for me so I cut it out.
I’m with you on comfortable clothing, I think it’s still important to look nice and not bummy because this can bring you down. I also hate getting into things that suck your time and hook you on things that require time & money eventually! So many things take up our time and we are not doing ourselves any favors when we get hooked into it. Some great advice here 🧐💖
Taking the time to reflect on these things is truly interesting! Letting go of unnecessary items really simplifies life and makes it more meaningful. Thank you for sharing!😉
I’m so happy that you have realized these things at a young age! I didn’t until I was almost 60. I wish I had changed when I was younger! And I’m still learning!
I love to have a gonfu tea session every day, mostly in the middle of the day. It needs your presence to be in the moment and enjoy the smell and taste, which helps me slow down after half day of work and evaluate my feelings and give room for my thoughts. I like it because it's something good which I also look forward too instead of a chore, oh this is good for me so I should do it. A lot if powerful insights have come from those sessions already :) And when I share a session with my partner we have time to connect during a busy day and think about what's important to us.
Every word in your video, Vera-my nice girl, resonates with me. It is SO TRUE that every day IS a special occasion! Last week, I was surfing websites of various stores to replace my old and chipped tea/coffee mug with a new one, but could not find what I really liked. Then a thought hit me: "you have a beautiful set that you purchased more than 20 years ago...and use it only for special occasions..." So, I decided to discontinue my "search"...feel the same as you about the effects people and things can have. I often ask myself, " Did I get anything positive from...? Thanks! P.S. No free samples for me 🙂
Duolingo: Im night shift worker with workaround going 5 min task - 2 min pause, filling all pauses with Duolingo lesson to not fall asleep. It gives me ridiculous amounts of xp (don’t care about). I may have caused stress for a many users. Another reminder not to compare results, you don’t know other person circumstances. Just keep doing in the way and speed which is comfortable for you. 😊
A few things I’ve done is wear my hair in braids, stop meal prepping, and hang out less. Idk if this simplified my life, but I also stopped watching things I wasn’t entertained by
I used to buy drugstore hair dryers and had to replace them every year. I bought an expensive salon dryer from a beauty supply store 17 years ago and it still works great. I’ve probably saved several hundred dollars by doing that.
Thank for that video. You brought up refreshing perspective about simpler living as always. The second one got me thinking about how I realized a few years ago that wasn't using my nice things or eating certain foods to a point where I'd sometimes spoil it because there was never a "special enough occasion" or "right time" to eat it. I only became able to enjoy the nice things in my life after realizing that I was subconsciously thinking that I didn't diserve them. Working on myself a lot, along with psychotherapy helped I believe l. Enjoying those things is not something I actively and directly worked on and tried to improve. I started being kinder to myself and it showed in many aspects of my life.
I totally agree with not watching books or movies or reading books with excessive violence, child abuse, spousal abuse. I don’t find violence entertaining. Interesting about Game of Thrones. I absolutely could not get past the first episode. So violent. I guess even HSPs have their differences. 😊 Love your channel, Vera. ❤
Great video with some very useful advice! The version I know of the “penny wise, pound foolish” would be “look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves”. We’re mindful of our small regular purchases, especially our weekly food shops as a family of 4, and keeping things like that in check helps us to save money more often. Any big purchase we then make we know we’ve saved properly for it.
I haven’t had a TV in my bedroom for many years. Even if it wasn’t turned on, it disrupted my peace. I like keeping my bedroom dark, cool and very minimalist to promote peace and tranquility. Since subscribing to your channel, I’ve really started to become more aware of how my body is feeling, recognizing my moods and self talk. I’ve also started drinking more tea and taking my days more slowly, trying to live my life with intention. Thank you, Vera, for your positive influence. I enjoyed today’s video 😊
Love the content Vera. I don't keep things for 'best' nowadays and I'm going to take up your suggestion of batching communication 😊. I've learnt to protect my time much more these days and only go out socially if I want to (and not feel guilty for saying no to stuff). Best wishes from England ❤
I've always enjoyed movies about love, peace, and lighthearted stories. But after I got married, I started watching movies my husband liked, just to keep him company and share time together. However, I eventually stopped watching those movies with him because they didn’t make me feel good. Now, instead of tense films, we watch videos of cute people and animals that make us laugh.
About phone games, we just have to choose some games eg. word games, which I think that they are not bad. No need for you to always check in. You play only when you want to, and I believe that this type of game helping me with my brain exercise too (since I'm already 55 😅) Btw, I always love love your content 😉
Yeah I used to LOVE dark and mind boggling stuff like Black Mirror is the perfect example of this. It is so clever and it really makes you think about where we're headed technologically, but then it was very telling when only ONE episode had a happy ending, while all the other ones just had cynical and nihilistic viewpoints. Whether it had a good point or not, it just didn't feel good to watch. I even used to joke that I needed to be in the right mindset to watch it so it doesn't break me mentally, but I think that was just stating facts. Meanwhile there are shows like This is Us where it can also get pretty dark and uncomfortable, hell it even brought me to tears a lot of the time, but the pain it gave me felt more like a growing pain because there was a lot to learn from and feel good about when watching it. On top of not hurting myself with stressful, insincere, cynical, and nihilistic entertainment, I've also heavily reduced my self deprecating jokes. They were such easy laughs to get and I love how Conan O'Brien did it, but there have been times I've seen him pull of a self deprecating joke and it looked like he legitimately hurt his own feelings instead of poking mere fun at himself and showing he doesn't take himself too seriously. It made me realize that I've had my own kind of moments like that where I said some self deprecating joke and people laughed WAY TOO HARD at it that even I didn't find it funny anymore, and it really really hurt lol. Like I've said some seriously damn good jokes in my life, but some of the ones that were about myself that got way too big of a laugh than I expected was just...OUCH LOL! So I try to keep the self deprecation jokes to a minimum. Nothing too severe about myself to joke about and I don't play into them too often like I used to. As for replying to people, yeah that's something I really need to work on. There was something I was working on one time and I let myself get derailed by a text conversation with a friend. And even on less busy times I've let myself reply to too much crap on Discord, Facebook, and just about anywhere else on the Internet where someone said something really stupid and I felt compelled to get into an argument with them. I've finally learned to just ignore the trolls and go on about my day, but replying to friends and family while I'm busy with something that requires my attention, and they are not sending me emergencies, that's something I still need to work on. Thankfully that's not something to severe to my peace of mind, just an extra bonus to minimizing things in my life.
Good points! Yes Black Mirror is an excellent example of that for me as well. Nope, will not have a positive impact to my mental health haha. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, have a wonderful weekend!!!
It's good to see you again, Vera! ❤️ You look well 😊 I used to be a Patreon subscriber some time ago - it's lovely and relaxing to enjoy one of your videos again ☁️☁️ and I'm smiling to myself at your part about every day being a special day because you're breathing and alive! So true!
I also stopped watching anything on TV that causes me to feel anxious. I mostly watch comedy or silly sitcoms now. I have adrenal fatigue so I already live in fight or flight and don’t need anything else making me feel even more anxious even if it’s for entertainment.
I ❤ this video. #8 was very surprising, I have honestly been considering how much time I spend on social media and honestly it is sooo much more than the benefit I get from it
I loved your point about media! I love winding down with something fun to watch, but it’s been hard to find something that is interesting yet calming. Sometimes I pick up on characters emotions, anxieties, thoughts, sadness…. I’d like to have something to enjoy but I’m still figuring out what that is 🤔
Hi Vera, love your hair..I’ve started to be a minimalist and simple living after my divorce… Now I visit family back in the Fiji Islands for 4 months enjoying family & friends❤️❤️🙏
Great list! So true about horror shows and movies. I quit those too. Same with Grey's anatomy, it's a good show, but the drama and trauma really affected my well-being. I quit it too. When you become aware of how shows make you feel, unfortunately there isn't much left to watch. 😢 You're pretty much stuck with hallmark movies 😱
I agree 100%! I even laughed about only watching Hallmark movies. I've even cut down on those myself because they are too perfect. Also, as a single lady still looking for Prince Charming, it's way too unrealistic!😅
I could totally relate to your Duolingo example! I got into the Diamond League and got very caught up with trying to remain there, so much so I started to get very stressed and actually turned off from language learning! I made myself give up caring about it which felt like a massive relief. Ultimately the leagues are totally pointless as people learning all sorts of different languages are randomly thrown together - it tells you nothing about the progress you are making in your target language. Your experience with 'Grey's Anatomy ' was interesting to me as when I was younger I was totally obsessed with ER, so much so I changed what I was studying in college with the intention of becoming a doctor (I never became a doctor I should point out lol) However ER also negatively impacted my existing OCD fears around illness and even now there are scenes & things I learned in that show that still affect me two decades later. That said over the past few weeks I have started to rewatch ER which I am really enjoying and it is super nostalgic for me - however I know which episodes are the ones that caused me problems in the past, so I am skipping those. I really liked your point about enjoying favourite items often and not just saving them for special occasions. Whilst there are certain things that remain special for longer when they are enjoyed sparingly, like you I prefer to make the most of each day by celebrating the things I like by enjoying them and not setting them aside for rare occasions.
I always try to find pockets of time that don’t take up constant attention, but one area of life I don’t feel is ever wasted is when cleaning/organizing/decluttering. While it is nice to have the time for other things, it always buys back time in the future as well because the house is less to manage than the few days or hours I spend maintaining it that day. For instance, I just did a huge fall refresh and while it took several days to accomplish, I love how everything feels now and how literally fresh, I emotionally feel as well. Family sometimes laugh and say I spend too much time cleaning, but I find the more that can be let go, the less have to manage and “buy back time” in the future. Now that the house is refreshed- I don’t have to spend days reorganizing it again, and so forth.
I am by no means rich but I invested in some lovely hotel standard cotton bed sheets and it was one of the best things i ever did for my sleep schedule, and I only have the two sets that have been perfect for years
Yes, “Penny wise but pound foolish“ is a great old saying. I have learned not to always go with the lowest estimate when getting work done on my house. I usually pick a mid-range bid, figuring it's a good deal but they are not going to use inferior materials or workmanship.
You are so wise for your age, and I am learning things from you and I am inspired by you even though I'm a lot older than you. You are resonating with a wide age range. Thank you for your realness and helpful content.
Gosh I have made these changes too! Strangely I had a fascinating and opposite reaction to wearing casual clothes. I put on a hoodie and knit sweatpant type of pants that I rarely wear thinking it would be delightful. Shockingly, I felt depressed, sort of slobby and as if I didn't care. It's because wearing a nice ( and comfy ) pair of jeans or dress pants with a button- down shirt, uplifts me. I changed and instantly felt better. There's a song from an old musical that begins something like 'Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out, strut down the street and have your picture took. Dressed like a dream your spirits seems to turn about. That Sunday shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look.' Lyrics probably not exact, but you get the idea. It's lovely to have a simple and authentic life which increases my awareness of my likes and dislikes. I love your videos, Vera. Thank you. Vivienne.
Yes totally agree. I can wear casual to wind down in the evenings at home but for everyday ot gives me a boost to dress in more variety of clothes that fit well and not leave stuff sitting on the wardrobe unworn
I quit planning "full" days. Now I plan half days to get things done. I used to feel that I wasn't as productive as other people and wondered what was wrong with me. I've since learned that I'm not the only one who can become overwhelmed from packed days. By planning half days, I have the freedom to make adjustments to my schedule as needed; that, and not having "full" days, means I get my tasks done. Sometimes if I have extra time, I use it to do other tasks, and sometimes I use it for down time. With more "free time" in my schedule, I'm actually MORE productive, feel good about what I'm accomplishing, and don't feel like a failure anymore. And I feel more relaxed and accepting of who I am.
@@JaneDoeDoeDeeOhDoe Wow! This is great! Now I don't feel guilty if I'm not busy all day. Because I am never busy all day.
I get easily overwhelmed anymore.
I am going to implement "half days" starting tomorrow. Thank you!
Love that one! So important to have empty space in our days :)
Thank you for pointing out "don't save your favorite things for rare occasions" - I'll wear my favorite jewelries more as they give me so much positive energy.
Yay! Enjoy! 🤗🌱🍵
I recently realized i have cut down on nights out invitations and my life has become so much calmer and i and better rested!
Nice! I'll also take a morning or afternoon invitation over a nighttime invitation any day haha.
Me too! I say “no” to 99 percent of things I’m invited too and I’ve never been happier😊
There i saw a note in it said live simply so that others may simply live 8:17 8:18
Me too and people are actually rude about this choice
@@MyCozyLife-Lisame too how do you deal with negative responses?
As a HSP I stopped watching television over ten years ago. I am not on any social media platforms except TH-cam. I am a knitter and I do enjoy learning new techniques by watching tutorials. I started embracing slow living and minimalism about four years ago. The results of doing this has really helped me set boundaries. I stopped people pleasing and I have learned to appreciate my value with or without any one’s approval. I feel free and that is priceless. I really enjoy your channel, thank you for the valuable content.
Wow, amazing! 🤗
It’s validating to hear someone else talk about the effects of media on your mood! I find myself justifying why I don’t want to watch a show to my friends and family, usually saying something like “I have enough anxiety in my life, I don’t need to add fictional character drama” 😅
Hahahaha that's a valid point if you ask me 😁👍
Hello from Texas, USA. Your comment about every day being special resonated with me. My niece passed away 15 years ago from cancer at the age of 22. She had a sixth month old son at the time of her diagnosis. She lived the next eight months to make every day special for her and her son. Your time on earth is very short, and if you wait for a “special occasion,” it may never come. Live life to the fullest and enjoy your favorite things every day!
I love this about the comfy clothes. My friend taught me this actually...he never wears uncomfortable clothes and is always bragging about how comfy he is, lol! So I'm basically doing the same thing now. Loose fitting clothing, soft materials, and sports bras when I can are my jam now. Helps improve my mood and lower my stress level.
Excellent idea. I must try to live by it!
I stopping going out on the weekends. I avoid events, stores or even social gatherings. Saturday especially is my time. I want to use it to fill my cup, not empty it and doing all these activities outside the house just drain me. Yesterday a fellow parent at pick up from school time asked me if I was doing the Halloween festival the school was hosting- I told her no, I avoid people on weekends 😅
Ha ha that's so funny! Telling that woman that you avoid people on the weekends! I know what you meant. Saturday is my "free" day, too, so is Sunday. Enjoy!
I’m the same way except my day is Sundays😊 Even when my kids were little I’d make sure they had no scheduled activities on the weekends. Occasionally they’d have a birthday party or something to go to, but we only said yes to a party of a friend they were actually close with. We’d say no to all of the extra parties where they were invited just because the whole class was invited. I’m a firm believer that kids need downtime too. They could do whatever activities or sports they wanted to during the week as long as our weekends were free. They’d spend weekends actually playing outside together or with neighborhood kids and just having family time. It was absolutely wonderful. They’re 18 and 22 now and they still like to just relax on the weekends😊 Recently, my daughter told me that she was thinking about what an amazing childhood my husband and I gave her and her brother. It totally warmed my heart❤️
Fabulous loved this
Maybe a partner or family member could take your child to the Halloween festival? It's passed now but your child might enjoy the excitement even if you don't otherwise they'll become as you are by example ... don't get me wrong but we're all different characters and they may naturally be more extrovert ? 🎉
You are so wise, Vera. I tend to save things for best and perfumes do go off, clothes no longer fit, my tastes change, etc. You are so,so right. Every day is a special day. We've woken up, we are alive, we are so fortunate to have these beautiful things. I'm going to try to be more like you.
Plus... I've been with you since about 130k followers and I'm blown away by the success of your channel! It's so hugely deserved. You're one of my favourite creators, alongside Benita Larsson and Jen from Silver and Solo.
Congratulations, Vera!
Aw thank you so much for your kind words and for being a part of this community for all that time!! I really appreciate it 🤗🌱❤️ Have a lovely day!
This was so relevant to me re Duolingo. I was actually learning some Spanish until I was promoted to the Diamond League and have become almost obsessed with finishing in the top three. By staying up until almost midnight every Sunday night to get a head start on the next week I could stay at the top but at the same time feeling tired and stressed and not actually progressing with the language skills. This resonated enough that I am quitting the high competitive league and going back to actually leaning espanol. Thanks for the wake-up call. Ha
I can relate to this!😅
As an HSP and a recovering co-dependent who my entire life has had trouble saying "No" to invitations because I was so flattered and happy they asked me and I didn't want to hurt them by declining their invitation, I think I have finally taught myself that it is OK to say "no" and to do or not do things we don't want to do.
I will not be at a Rugby match today that a waiter in a restaurant I frequent wants me to be at. He said he is going to "hold me to it" that I attend this event. It would require me to do a ton of walking from my car to the field, and stand up the entire game as I don't have a folding chair to bring, (no bleachers there) and no cover to stand under, AND it will be pouring rain (100% chance of rain). At 72, my legs don't work like they use to.
Ten or twenty years ago, I would have gone and been cold, wet and miserable.
It's been a long road to realize I should put myself first.
Also, today is Saturday ..... my FREE day!
Thank you for this video! It is very "cementing" for me. Is that a word? Probably not. 😂
Enjoy your Saturdays, everyone out there!
❤
I can relate to what you said! I’m also older and don’t have the stamina I used to. Plus, I have lower back issues, so I’ve found myself slowly accepting my limitations even though I want to compete with my younger self and do all the things I used to be able to do. I hope you have a great great weekend as well 🌼
👏 👏 👏
@@LisaM.601Thank you so much!
I love the teapot in your profile picture.
Gwen
🌃🌃🌃
I agree 100% with what you said about not making self deprecating remarks. This is something I've done for years, usually because, like you, I'm poking fun at myself if I make a mistake or do something silly, or sometimes because I'm trying to make someone else feel better about themselves. One of the things I have often said is "me and my little pea brain". I've realized though that the big problem with doing this is that people actually believe you! They don't seem to take it in the way you intend, as a joke, but take it at face value. It's something I'm really working on not doing anymore.
One tip from this channel that stuck was to “read for fun.” The productivity books start to blur and I noticed all the gurus blurb each others books and interview each other on their podcasts. So for 2025 - all old fiction. Hemingway, Twain, Steinbeck and Fitzgerald. Simple.
@BillyWhaler. I like that idea! Now I need to unattach from TH-cam except for some classes I take.
So, True!
Listening to and reading Eckhart Tolle might be an exclusion...
Love it! Enjoy! 🤗🍵
I've long been wanting to start on this! I feel like it would give me more inspiration to write again ❤
The thing I dropped when I started simplifying my life was listening to music. I found that sometimes it was just too much noise in my head and I don’t want to get bothered by earworms anymore!
SO with you! Music is an event for me that sometimes I enjoy, not background.
I’m glad to hear there are others out there like me.
Me too! Sometimes during cleaning the house, that's it.
As a gen x, “saving stuff” was drilled into me. But times change. Now you rarely recoup any $ for things you bought. Eg. my $2000 ring is now only worth $400. I sold it bc although beautiful, it held complicated emotions for me. I’m proud I did it! I also love donating to my buy nothing group as it brings true joy to others and also to me much more than the stuff ever did. Thank you Vera! ❤❤❤
Yes, that is a good point. I think it's great you listened to your feelings and did what you knew to be right :)
Love this, "I stopped accepting free things, and samples. If it is not something that I would have been willing to pay for, if it wasn't free. Even free items come with a cost."
Thank you Vera for this video.
100% ! I nearly signed up for a free stuff online account bit really half the stuff wasn't relevant for me and then I'd have an extra job of passing it on to family and friends plus more emails with vouchers etc ... just too much more!!
Agree with so much of this. However, listening to music, especially old, familiar music from my teens, is my comfort... Like putting on the most comfortable old sweatshirt.
Love your channel ❤
Best regards to you, Vera, from a subscriber in Ukraine! Your videos are like a warm hug! They always calm me down. I have cut down on wearing make-up in simplifying things. I am blond with such light eyebrows and eyelashes that they look almost non-existent. I always would wear a minimal amount before: a mascara and an eyebrow pencil, but now I use just a mascara and let my natural eyebrow color show. Also, I have days when I don't wear any make-up: I'm learning to accept and be ok with my natural look, which is hard at times, however, at times it even feels enjoyable. I feel liberated from the shackles of needing to wear make-up to feel confident and accepted by people!
i wish you good luck and a less stressful life, you’re doing what’s good, actually better for you and for your well-being, not having to conform to someone else’s idea of what’s attractive or not. Too much advertising with impossible, unnatural, airbrushed ‘beauty’ is the big culprit, causing many, especially younger insecure people, anxiety and worry. Don’t let it affect you! Wish you all the best Maria.. ❣️😘
I have made a major switch with the types of movies and books that I am reading. I am choosing to watch and read books that do not cause me, anxiety, or to lose sleep. In the past, I have been pressured into shows and books because other people think that I should watch them or read them. I used to be into really good, heavy literature, but found that sometimes these books would cause me anxiety. If I am happy reading fantasy and fluffy books, I will read them now guilt free. If I choose a hallmark movie over a serious drama, I will not feel guilty over that as well. Thank you for another wonderful video, you are always inspiring💖
Hi Vera, I hope you are enjoying your weekend.
I agree with everything you said. Around 2015, I got rid of all TVs from my home. It's one of the best things I ever did. About two years ago, I dumped the few true crime books I had bought, and all depressing music CDs ( goodbye Leonard Cohen!😂). I never accept free samples, I only wear comfortable clothes and footwear, I don't gossip. I had to block certain people who were incessantly phoning me, I spend less time on social media. And the "good" things I have in my home that friends have told me I should not use because they are "too good", well, I don't understand that way of thinking, I have always used my "good" things, they have been made for us to use and enjoy. Every day is a special day.
Your videos are lovely, you have a calm and gentle spirit, take care of that always.❤
Also, your hair is beautiful.
Love from Dublin.❤
I stopped watching TV and movies since a few years. I realized that especially series keep us wanting for more and I can't have anything else control me. Though I still spend time daily on social media, I feel it's under my control. I set boundaries for it.
Vera, you look lovely as usual, but I just wanted to say that is my favorite way you wear your hair. I know you try different things with your hair and I love it braided as well. This is a very important message you’ve given us today.
❤️ love ❤️ how you identify and explain! I am an HSP kindred spirit and how I wish I had your wisdom 30 years earlier 😁 It took some dramatic life transitions and chronic illness to realize these great truths. What freedom now! If it is toxic (whether family, friends, ideas, activities, or stuff) it goes. I do my best to love, forgive, and strive with people, but sometimes you need to let people journey another path. Same goes with stuff. For every negative comment (yes that means my own too) it takes 8 positive comments just to equalize! Thank you for being a blessing and helping us to be greater blessings to others ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for your kind words and all the good vibes! Happy to hear that simplifying and intentional living is helping you live your best life too :) Have a wonderful weekend!
Well said, and I agree❤
Very astute insights. One thing I've tried to be more mindful of is "discount" shopping at the grocery store. I want to save money but stopped buying items just because there is a coupon or buying a certain number of items to receive a discount. I'm saving more money just buying what I know I need and am wasting less food as well.
I agree about not gossiping. It usually perpetuates negativity, usually based on speculation (not fact).
I grew up in an extended family that uses a lot of self-deprecating humor. It's used to lighten the mood, and show that one doesn't take themselves too seriously.
At one point, I took a lot of heat from others over it. "You shouldn't be negative about yourself, because your body hears and absorbs it as criticism ..."
I wasn't calling myself stupid, but if I stumbled, I might say, "Nobody's going to mistake me for Princess Grace!"
I took constant carping over this, until I visited my aunt, who made a comment (about herself) in a similar way - and nobody gave it a second thought.
I immediately felt great relief.
I decided to revert to my old ways, brushing aside further (well-intentioned?) comments, which DID leave me feeling bad.
I do a lot better when I'm allowed to be my authentic self. 🤪
We are all special. So the special occasions are right here and now. We all deserve to feel special. ❤
Just leaving a comment because I love your videos and wanna support the algorithm 😊👏🏼 best from Germany
I used to be addicted to social media, my highest screen time was 14 hours in one day, and energy drinks, I was drinking upwards of 6 cans a day for almost 3 years. I switched those bad habits for an hour of youtube daily and drinking tea instead, it's made a massive difference to my mental/physical health. Also, I like to romanticise life by pretending I'm a character in a movie, for example a 40s film noir while I drink in a cafe or a studio ghibli film while I'm walking in a park. It may sound strange but it makes the every day problems seem like plot twists in your movie/life. Great video as always Vera ❤
Vera, we had a set of dinner plates that we kept for special occasions, but we decided to use them everyday. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
Setting time limits on social media and games has helped me a lot!
I have been trying to just say no, thank you, without an explanation. They do not need one. They aren’t my friend. It’s hard because I feel we as women are trained to have a reason for everything. I remind myself “yes” and “no” are perfectly acceptable answers. ❤
I love how your content is always so original and unexpected. Often the minimalist channels are pretty much repetitive, so congrats!!
Odd things I have given up after simplifying my life: shoes - I wear my Birkenstock sandals anywhere, anytime regardless of how others are dressing - my feet thank me! Cable TV - this helps to keep my screen time down to about an hour a day at most, just TH-cam and Prime now. So many subscriptions that self-renew, try it free for 1 month and before you know it you've been subscribed for a year or more. Buying books - if I can borrow it from the library, or stream it from a catalogue I prefer that over buying, unless I expect to read it over and over again. Expensive jewellery - gemstones and precious metals are mainly to impress others or to intimidate them - I don't want to do either of those - the only time I wear them now is as battle armour when I am feeling overly insecure going into a threatening situation. Going to a hairdresser - I learned to cut my own hair, and my husband's - it isn't perfect, but I never liked being in the salon chair and am happy to be free of it. Great video Vera, always love your content :-)
Many good suggestions, some I need to practice more. One further, similar to watchiing shows, you might want to think about how much news you watch or listen to. I can get upset over something, and I'm not going to do anything about it, so it feels good to take a break.
Love ur posts I waz watching an older one last nite when u talked about only having a few friends...I forced myself to have relationships but I was exhausted as I am a introvert...I have listened to u it really helped me allowed me to let go of people xxxx
Love Vera from England 🇬🇧... may I also suggest a video about changing the pattern of feeling guilt when we are recharging our batteries not being lazy by not doing things all the time...and instead to have feelings of contentment and satisfaction
I noticed this for myself quite a while back regarding the effects of entertainment on my nervous system.
Now the entertainment that I consume, which I try to keep somewhat minimal, could be considered quite “vanilla” by many people!
I love all kinds of music, but I am very selective from every genre. I watch almost no “shows,” and the movies I watch are generally uplifting and interesting. I never had any tolerance for gratuitous violence or anything that’s too physically graphic.
For the most part of these these days, my entertainment comes largely from TH-cam! There is so much on TH-cam that is interesting - if you are selective.
I 100% agree!!!😊
I 100% agree with you!😊
Negaturity should be a word, haha! I’ve found myself lately restructuring how I speak or approach my thoughts and feelings when I journal lately. When we talk or write things down, we’re re-enforcing something into existence from our minds.
Awesome video! I practice most of these things but the way you presented it was clarifying for me, and a great reminder!
I have admitted that cooking-- really cooking-- is not something I want to spend my time on. I have friends who are capital-F Foodies, but I'm not. I enjoy improvising a pot of soup on a cold evening in 15 mins, or batch-cooking chili or stew once a week. Otherwise I'm perfectly happy with sautéed veggies with cheese and crackers for dinner. As long as it's simple, nourishing food, it works for me. Self-care for me right now is less Doing.
Hello from the states, I've been a minimalist for 4 yrs (an extreme minimalist for 2 yrs) and I find your channel to be so relatable. Thank you for sharing your insights with us!
It's true about the content we consume in general. I used to be a huge True Crime junkie, and recently stopped watching it so much because its not good for our minds... I'm sure I will still watch it every once in a while, but I just feel better not having those negative things on my mind....
That wink at the end felt so natural and added personal touch!
Good thoughts that got me thinking and gave motivation to be more proactive about my life. I deleted my facebook profile some time ago, because I didn't really use it for communication anymore, just occasionally logged in to see what's going on in these people's lives whom I haven't had nothing to do with in ages or never was very close, mostly feeling behind in life and bad after that. I also always had to check, if I have lost some facebook friends. I have instagram profile to look certain profiles, like my favourite bands, but I try to avoid anything that makes me feel bad about myself and compare myself to others.
Yes. Not watching anything that causes anxiety is a must.
Yes! I cut out The Private Practice because the drama and ethical questions wound me up in such a way my husband pointed out it sounded like emotional porn. Was really eye opening for me so I cut it out.
I’m with you on comfortable clothing, I think it’s still important to look nice and not bummy because this can bring you down. I also hate getting into things that suck your time and hook you on things that require time & money eventually! So many things take up our time and we are not doing ourselves any favors when we get hooked into it. Some great advice here 🧐💖
Taking the time to reflect on these things is truly interesting! Letting go of unnecessary items really simplifies life and makes it more meaningful. Thank you for sharing!😉
I quit alcohol and cigarettes and my life is simpler without them.
That’s a huge accomplishment well done. I bet you feel so much better for it not to mention how expensive they are xx
@@Thesignarizzler123 Thank you so much and yes, definitely saving $!
Same.
I’m so happy that you have realized these things at a young age! I didn’t until I was almost 60. I wish I had changed when I was younger! And I’m still learning!
I love to have a gonfu tea session every day, mostly in the middle of the day. It needs your presence to be in the moment and enjoy the smell and taste, which helps me slow down after half day of work and evaluate my feelings and give room for my thoughts. I like it because it's something good which I also look forward too instead of a chore, oh this is good for me so I should do it. A lot if powerful insights have come from those sessions already :)
And when I share a session with my partner we have time to connect during a busy day and think about what's important to us.
Every word in your video, Vera-my nice girl, resonates with me. It is SO TRUE that every day IS a special occasion! Last week, I was surfing websites of various stores to replace my old and chipped tea/coffee mug with a new one, but could not find what I really liked. Then a thought hit me: "you have a beautiful set that you purchased more than 20 years ago...and use it only for special occasions..." So, I decided to discontinue my "search"...feel the same as you about the effects people and things can have. I often ask myself, " Did I get anything positive from...? Thanks! P.S. No free samples for me 🙂
Duolingo: Im night shift worker with workaround going 5 min task - 2 min pause, filling all pauses with Duolingo lesson to not fall asleep. It gives me ridiculous amounts of xp (don’t care about).
I may have caused stress for a many users.
Another reminder not to compare results, you don’t know other person circumstances. Just keep doing in the way and speed which is comfortable for you. 😊
A few things I’ve done is wear my hair in braids, stop meal prepping, and hang out less. Idk if this simplified my life, but I also stopped watching things I wasn’t entertained by
Entertainment!!!! Yes. I’ve felt so many convictions with this, but mainly as a Christian. It’s so true, to cut out what affects us in bad ways.
I used to buy drugstore hair dryers and had to replace them every year. I bought an expensive salon dryer from a beauty supply store 17 years ago and it still works great. I’ve probably saved several hundred dollars by doing that.
Thank for that video. You brought up refreshing perspective about simpler living as always.
The second one got me thinking about how I realized a few years ago that wasn't using my nice things or eating certain foods to a point where I'd sometimes spoil it because there was never a "special enough occasion" or "right time" to eat it. I only became able to enjoy the nice things in my life after realizing that I was subconsciously thinking that I didn't diserve them. Working on myself a lot, along with psychotherapy helped I believe l. Enjoying those things is not something I actively and directly worked on and tried to improve. I started being kinder to myself and it showed in many aspects of my life.
I totally agree with not watching books or movies or reading books with excessive violence, child abuse, spousal abuse. I don’t find violence entertaining.
Interesting about Game of Thrones. I absolutely could not get past the first episode. So violent. I guess even HSPs have their differences. 😊
Love your channel, Vera. ❤
Vera, I really appreciate your videos - not only the content but the effort and love in the way you make them. Thank you, cheers from Brazil 🇧🇷🫶🏻
Aw thank you, that is so nice to hear ❤️🥰❤️🥰❤️🥰
Love you Vera! Great video as always, and of course you look beautiful as always!💕
Aw thank you Ashley 🤗🍵💕 Have a lovely weekend!!!
I've switched to listening to classical or mainly instrumental music. Love the emotions it evokes.
Just the video I need right now as I’m in the process of trying to simplify my life ready to kick on into the new year 👊👍
Awesome, good timing then! 😉🍵
R.e. entertainment, I found this with murder and fostering books, my favourite type but really hard emotionally. And with film, outlander.
Great video with some very useful advice! The version I know of the “penny wise, pound foolish” would be “look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves”. We’re mindful of our small regular purchases, especially our weekly food shops as a family of 4, and keeping things like that in check helps us to save money more often. Any big purchase we then make we know we’ve saved properly for it.
Oh you gave me a memory. My mom always used to say that quote of penny wise pound foolish ❤
I haven’t had a TV in my bedroom for many years. Even if it wasn’t turned on, it disrupted my peace. I like keeping my bedroom dark, cool and very minimalist to promote peace and tranquility.
Since subscribing to your channel, I’ve really started to become more aware of how my body is feeling, recognizing my moods and self talk. I’ve also started drinking more tea and taking my days more slowly, trying to live my life with intention. Thank you, Vera, for your positive influence. I enjoyed today’s video 😊
Love the content Vera. I don't keep things for 'best' nowadays and I'm going to take up your suggestion of batching communication 😊.
I've learnt to protect my time much more these days and only go out socially if I want to (and not feel guilty for saying no to stuff). Best wishes from England ❤
I've always enjoyed movies about love, peace, and lighthearted stories. But after I got married, I started watching movies my husband liked, just to keep him company and share time together. However, I eventually stopped watching those movies with him because they didn’t make me feel good. Now, instead of tense films, we watch videos of cute people and animals that make us laugh.
About phone games, we just have to choose some games eg. word games, which I think that they are not bad. No need for you to always check in. You play only when you want to, and I believe that this type of game helping me with my brain exercise too (since I'm already 55 😅)
Btw, I always love love your content 😉
Yeah I used to LOVE dark and mind boggling stuff like Black Mirror is the perfect example of this. It is so clever and it really makes you think about where we're headed technologically, but then it was very telling when only ONE episode had a happy ending, while all the other ones just had cynical and nihilistic viewpoints. Whether it had a good point or not, it just didn't feel good to watch. I even used to joke that I needed to be in the right mindset to watch it so it doesn't break me mentally, but I think that was just stating facts. Meanwhile there are shows like This is Us where it can also get pretty dark and uncomfortable, hell it even brought me to tears a lot of the time, but the pain it gave me felt more like a growing pain because there was a lot to learn from and feel good about when watching it.
On top of not hurting myself with stressful, insincere, cynical, and nihilistic entertainment, I've also heavily reduced my self deprecating jokes. They were such easy laughs to get and I love how Conan O'Brien did it, but there have been times I've seen him pull of a self deprecating joke and it looked like he legitimately hurt his own feelings instead of poking mere fun at himself and showing he doesn't take himself too seriously. It made me realize that I've had my own kind of moments like that where I said some self deprecating joke and people laughed WAY TOO HARD at it that even I didn't find it funny anymore, and it really really hurt lol. Like I've said some seriously damn good jokes in my life, but some of the ones that were about myself that got way too big of a laugh than I expected was just...OUCH LOL! So I try to keep the self deprecation jokes to a minimum. Nothing too severe about myself to joke about and I don't play into them too often like I used to.
As for replying to people, yeah that's something I really need to work on. There was something I was working on one time and I let myself get derailed by a text conversation with a friend. And even on less busy times I've let myself reply to too much crap on Discord, Facebook, and just about anywhere else on the Internet where someone said something really stupid and I felt compelled to get into an argument with them. I've finally learned to just ignore the trolls and go on about my day, but replying to friends and family while I'm busy with something that requires my attention, and they are not sending me emergencies, that's something I still need to work on. Thankfully that's not something to severe to my peace of mind, just an extra bonus to minimizing things in my life.
Good points! Yes Black Mirror is an excellent example of that for me as well. Nope, will not have a positive impact to my mental health haha. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, have a wonderful weekend!!!
Turning off notifications in apps on my mobile devices. They just create an unnecessary sense of urgency and trigger anxiety.
I ignore them, so I guess I can get rid of them, too. I recently unsubscribed from a lot of YT channels I w watched if the program looked interesting.
It's good to see you again, Vera! ❤️ You look well 😊 I used to be a Patreon subscriber some time ago - it's lovely and relaxing to enjoy one of your videos again ☁️☁️ and I'm smiling to myself at your part about every day being a special day because you're breathing and alive! So true!
I also stopped watching anything on TV that causes me to feel anxious. I mostly watch comedy or silly sitcoms now. I have adrenal fatigue so I already live in fight or flight and don’t need anything else making me feel even more anxious even if it’s for entertainment.
I ❤ this video. #8 was very surprising, I have honestly been considering how much time I spend on social media and honestly it is sooo much more than the benefit I get from it
I agree with you wholeheartedly on all points, especially Duolingo.
Loved the video. Would also love to learn more about how you enjoy your tea / how you make it. Looks so good.
Here here! I've been wearing/using my best things for a while now, and enjoying every minute! X😊
I did that with candles. Save them for special occasions. Dishes also. I now like to use my fancy ones
Just saw your video. Love that you are adamant about Social media choices. Thank you Vera! Cheers, from Malaysia.
Glad you enjoyed the video! :) Take care
Everything you said makes so much sense. Thank you! 🌞🌸😊. PS: Your hair looks gorgeous.
You always know how to simplify things perfectly!
I loved your point about media! I love winding down with something fun to watch, but it’s been hard to find something that is interesting yet calming. Sometimes I pick up on characters emotions, anxieties, thoughts, sadness…. I’d like to have something to enjoy but I’m still figuring out what that is 🤔
Hi Vera, love your hair..I’ve started to be a minimalist and simple living after my divorce… Now I visit family back in the Fiji Islands for 4 months enjoying family & friends❤️❤️🙏
You’re amazing at simplifying things!
Great list! So true about horror shows and movies. I quit those too. Same with Grey's anatomy, it's a good show, but the drama and trauma really affected my well-being. I quit it too. When you become aware of how shows make you feel, unfortunately there isn't much left to watch. 😢
You're pretty much stuck with hallmark movies 😱
I agree 100%! I even laughed about only watching Hallmark movies. I've even cut down on those myself because they are too perfect. Also, as a single lady still looking for Prince Charming, it's way too unrealistic!😅
Great tips! And your hair looks great 😊
Thank you for the reminder to be conscious. Best to you.
I don't have social media on my phone I just use them on my laptop only cuts down on scrolling. Keeps me more present
I really enjoy your channel, it is inspiring! Greetings from México, thank you. 😊
Hello Vera
Another thought triggering (in a good way) video. Thank you so much for your inspiration.
Take care, enjoy your Sunday
Melissa xx ❤
I could totally relate to your Duolingo example! I got into the Diamond League and got very caught up with trying to remain there, so much so I started to get very stressed and actually turned off from language learning! I made myself give up caring about it which felt like a massive relief. Ultimately the leagues are totally pointless as people learning all sorts of different languages are randomly thrown together - it tells you nothing about the progress you are making in your target language.
Your experience with 'Grey's Anatomy ' was interesting to me as when I was younger I was totally obsessed with ER, so much so I changed what I was studying in college with the intention of becoming a doctor (I never became a doctor I should point out lol) However ER also negatively impacted my existing OCD fears around illness and even now there are scenes & things I learned in that show that still affect me two decades later. That said over the past few weeks I have started to rewatch ER which I am really enjoying and it is super nostalgic for me - however I know which episodes are the ones that caused me problems in the past, so I am skipping those.
I really liked your point about enjoying favourite items often and not just saving them for special occasions. Whilst there are certain things that remain special for longer when they are enjoyed sparingly, like you I prefer to make the most of each day by celebrating the things I like by enjoying them and not setting them aside for rare occasions.
I always try to find pockets of time that don’t take up constant attention, but one area of life I don’t feel is ever wasted is when cleaning/organizing/decluttering. While it is nice to have the time for other things, it always buys back time in the future as well because the house is less to manage than the few days or hours I spend maintaining it that day. For instance, I just did a huge fall refresh and while it took several days to accomplish, I love how everything feels now and how literally fresh, I emotionally feel as well. Family sometimes laugh and say I spend too much time cleaning, but I find the more that can be let go, the less have to manage and “buy back time” in the future. Now that the house is refreshed- I don’t have to spend days reorganizing it again, and so forth.
Vera you never cease to amaze me! I cannot thank you enough for your ever helpful and sound words of wisdom 🌷
I am by no means rich but I invested in some lovely hotel standard cotton bed sheets and it was one of the best things i ever did for my sleep schedule, and I only have the two sets that have been perfect for years
I become addicted to you thank you so much
Algerian from Ottawa Canada
Batching communications... love that... so good!
I watch your videos every week, and this is one of the best IMHO.
Yes, “Penny wise but pound foolish“ is a great old saying. I have learned not to always go with the lowest estimate when getting work done on my house. I usually pick a mid-range bid, figuring it's a good deal but they are not going to use inferior materials or workmanship.
You are so wise for your age, and I am learning things from you and I am inspired by you even though I'm a lot older than you. You are resonating with a wide age range. Thank you for your realness and helpful content.
Gosh I have made these changes too! Strangely I had a fascinating and opposite reaction to wearing casual clothes. I put on a hoodie and knit sweatpant type of pants that I rarely wear thinking it would be delightful. Shockingly, I felt depressed, sort of slobby and as if I didn't care. It's because wearing a nice ( and comfy ) pair of jeans or dress pants with a button- down shirt, uplifts me. I changed and instantly felt better. There's a song from an old musical that begins something like 'Put on your Sunday clothes when you feel down and out, strut down the street and have your picture took. Dressed like a dream your spirits seems to turn about. That Sunday shine is a certain sign that you feel as fine as you look.' Lyrics probably not exact, but you get the idea. It's lovely to have a simple and authentic life which increases my awareness of my likes and dislikes. I love your videos, Vera. Thank you. Vivienne.
Yes totally agree. I can wear casual to wind down in the evenings at home but for everyday ot gives me a boost to dress in more variety of clothes that fit well and not leave stuff sitting on the wardrobe unworn