As an INTJ there is a sence of pride in how rare you actually are. And yet my male perspective considers this fact as also mildly irritating. Why must relationships be both desired and usually impractical?
I went to the party to support my friend, but brought my Shakespeare book to read while she socialized :). Another party with this same friend had drugs there; when I found out, I left immediately. My friend was trying to get me to stay, even chased me when I was outside, but I wasn't going back no matter how much she pleaded.
@Michael Pullins I just recall seeing what looked like some kind of pipe, but I didn't stick around to find out more. I am a goody two shoes, square, Debbie Downer, etc. and proud of it. I learned early that drugs, the legal kind, are for serious illness only. And any damage you do to your body when you're young will catch up to you when you're older. No thank you!
I found the right partner! He is not helpful by nature... Meaning that he has no need to rescue me. 10 years of loving respectful relationship ! Works for both. I'd say he is an ISTJ, but not sure.
I used to tell my (ex) husband that he should be thrilled and complimented that I "wanted" him despite the fact that I didn't "need" him. He never understood and I couldn't un-be myself.
when you mention "We feel as though we are aliens from some other planet, dropped off on earth, and forced to play “human”. Though we can connect with people at times, it’s as though you are constantly translating your brain to communicate through “human talk”. " I can definitely relate
I'm an INFP male and I can relate. While watching Star Trek: Next Generation, I was surprised how much I related to DATA -- especially his fascination with humanity. And I especially understand the language filtration. My thoughts get so abstract, that I have trouble breaking them down into words that even "I" can understand, let alone some normie Sensor. Without that filter I would probably sound a Bhuddist monk. EDIT: Okay for those that have already read this Comment (before I fixed this), that was supposed to be *normie*; not *hornier*. Apparently Autocorrect thinks I have a dirty mind.
While gossip today is unnecessary, it used to have a purpose for human evolution. Before we had such comfortable lives and a society that keeps everyone alive (I'm not saying takes care of everyone, but with financial aid and such, and being able to get a job as a single mother, it's possible to stay alive), women needed good providers, which meant marriage to a male who can provide for you. And it was also important to avoid incest to have healthy children. Gossip was the way to know who will be a good match and who had children with who so you know whom to avoid and whom to marry.
(INTP) From my readings, gossip isn't so much about weakness as it is about vulnerability - and those are two very different things. You have to be strong before you can make yourself vulnerable. It's mostly an unconscious calculation, but by giving you privileged information, I'm demonstrating that I trust you, since you could betray me by informing others that I ratted them out. It's the tactic salespeople use: giving a person a gift, no matter how small, makes them want to give you something just to reciprocate. Oh, and was listening to the Decameron on audiobook and learned that "gossip" originally meant "god-sib," an acquaintance you share a god-parent with.
Okay, did some digging... INTPs find 90% of gossip boring. We find 10% of it interesting, but in a non-standard way. What we're trying to do when we "gossip" is learn, about the people being discussed or about people in general. INTPs are all about systems analysis, and people are systems too. For us, the vast majority of gossip is noise. We find it boring, but we don't actively hate it. With INTJs, it looks like they have a problem with it because it violates their boundaries of trust. It's unethical. Which I can sort of understand - gossip is about revealing privileged information about somebody else, as a way of demonstrating how much you value your listener's friendship relative to how you value the friendship of the person you're dishing on. Still not sure that gossiping is equivalent to weakness, though. I still think it's more about vulnerability than weakness. It is a sign that you're looking to make alliances, but that doesn't mean you're weak, just that you're not omnipotent. Humans live in a society for a reason, after all, and gossip is "just" the verbal equivalent of chimps grooming each other. The idea that INTJs refuse to gossip because it violates their trust boundaries and their ethics is... Interesting. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it.
This happened to me exactly ONCE and people thought we were talking in code bc of how quickly we were jumping ahead in conversations, discussing different topics simultaneously. It was glorious and I felt completely elated to click with someone so fast 🙃
I (INFP) and my BFF (INTJ) can relate to this sooo much I think that is one of the main reasons why we get along so well. Btw,I'm watching this video to understand my BFF even more 😊
Exactly. I once spent 96 hours in a car ride (cross country) with a friend and we spent 93 of those hours in absolute silence (apart from classical music). Most of which I didn't actually register because I was so far in my head I didn't realize time existed (if that makes sense). But it was so incredibly lovely and the best thing about it was that they enjoyed the silence as well.
I am an INTJ female and I like to hear gossips but I am very picky on which which kinds of gossip?? Like it should be interesting, meaningful in sOME wAYS and make sure it is a hot tea.
Pretty much what I was thinking listening to her. I just want to crawl inside her head and start prodding....but of course she'd want to do the same. That would be a struggle for sure.
yes, a competition of who is right. But maybe knowing that it's hurtful to INTjs to be wrong , we can avoid that and just admire the INTJ's company and maybe try to use your heart at least with that special person.
I'm in a relationship with a ESFP. And the funny thing is, that is exactly what the 16personalities-website says is a perfect counterpart to us INTJs. And I get why: My boyfriend always challenges me to do things I would never do, and he is also the more social one of us, which is great at gatherings. The ESFPs bring you out of your comfort zone, which we need sometimes to experience some things in life. It is challenging though to do new things and I'm still not happily spontaneous. But my ESFP boyfriend really took the time to understand me and that's really great.
We don't like gossip doesn't mean we are not gossiped about. Quite often an INTJ woman isn't even aware of the social harm that malicious gossiping causes, mostly because we do not figure "social structure" out. This is one thing young INTJs should be aware of, so as not to be caught off guard.
Body language analysis might be a good skill for an INTJ to invest time into. BombardsBodyLanguage.com has a video series tutorial available for $10/month. And I imagine an INTJ especially could master it in less than one month, so you could cancel your subscription after the first month (making it only a one-time fee of $10). If not, then "The Charisma Matrix" is also a good resource. He focuses more on improving social skills. Sounds particularly useful for conquering that Se Inferior (and also Ne Nemesis). FYI, I'm not getting paid by either of these people. It just seems to me that this could be especially helpful for INxJs. Who knows, Lindsay? Maybe this can be your new "Thing". 😉
Lol it doesn't matter, if someone is to listen to gossip and believe it then that is not a person we wanna be around, it does not make any sense to me why i should care about such trivial crap, give me one good LOGICAL reason i should care, I'm waiting.. *Sips tea*
I am a INTJ-T type, it’s difficult. You’re so disconnected from everyone and feel that you are constantly being judged. In High school it’s horrible. I would like to meet someone like me, watching this video and reading upon my personality type it’s as if I’m being described, quite harrowing.
I’m in year 9 uk. I’ve always felt pretty detached and in a way “older” from all the kids around me at school, so when I recently discovered that I was an intj, everything just connected so perfectly.
INTJ female goes through prolonged phases of “manic research” *me, in a dark hole the last 3 weeks, obsessively watching lectures and reading essays on quantum field theory*
OMG! I wish we were friends or neighbors so we could talk. I love the whole idea of physics and quantum theory. I could sit for hours talking about these subjects. I was never that bright at math so I could never study this in school. But ideas and concepts are easy to understand.
I'm an intj female, and luckily have met with another intj girl. We're friends now, the intersting is we can sit next to each other, in the same room like whole day, but do not talk to each other, just do our business and keep quiet. But, except for suddenly I or she find something interesting, like the woman's problem in society, nihilsm, racism etc, then we can talk about that, and the silent can go.
Other's know we don't gossip, & that's why we become a target of gossip. Intj's are also seen as sensitive, & socially awkward to bullies, & that puts a bullseye on our backs as well.
@@InternetLiJo I never noticed either, but for some reason people went out of their way to tell me I was gossiped about by people I'd never looked at or talked to
I got bullied a few times in my life for idk what reason, but one time in highschool people from the other class who I never even once interact to pranked me, and because of that I knew that they were talking about me and decided to do it for a really ridiculous reason: I have good scores in class. Funny thing is I'm not even in the same class with them, it's so absurd.
@@ninadiener9806 Same! I literally had a member of my high school "friend" group come up to me to say, "You know everyone hates you, right?" Man, she must've been disappointed. Pretty sure she was looking for a reaction and she got nothing from me lol.
Intj female here...and I love gossip, sure I don't give any of my information out...but I'd like to get information about others without having to interact with them.
I listen to get intel. About the person spoken about, but much more about the person doing the gossiping. I will put that human on my black list for avoidable interaction. Sometimes I ask stupid questions to unmask false allegations on the spot. I love fucking with gossipers.
Translating from my brain to human language generally not too hard, but translating from human language to my brain might be impossible, since there are a lot of nonsense ideas and my brain can't understand them.
I seriously busted out laughing at your explanation: "Intj feel like they are aliens from another planet and were dropped off here and are forced to play human" OMG .. that analogy is one that only an INTJ would understand and appreciate. I literally have been telling people that my whole life. With a VERY select few of my closest friends I will even show them satellite imagery of where my ship dropped me off in a field outside of town :p .... oh and I subbed after that good relate-able laugh
Most people from what I hear describe me as someone who's cold, distant, smart ,intelligent and someone who barely have a good time and don't even know how to smile properly. Two of my only and closest friends would have a good laugh about it, cause I am literally a child at heart with a dark sense of humour.
Its nice to know that I am not the only alien here. I felt like I never fit in. I wasn’t the girlie girl. I was miserable in a dorm and the thought of joining a sorority was horrifying. I was in the sciences with mostly guys and was shy. I now know why. Im deeply loyal and responsible. I overthink everything. This is the first video, comments and post for me. The first time I knew I am not the only INTJ, Im just a rare breed
What you said about having a child-like heart really got me...that was something I’ve never really been able to reconcile with what is often perceived by others as a cold exterior But it’s nice to hear that there are other aliens like me haha
As an INTJ woman I can relate to this. I spent over 50 years knowing I was different. Others always made me feel like an outsider and bullied me because of it. I have few friends because I learned not to trust people. I have learned that it’s ok to be me and not care what others say. As far as everyday interactions, I make small talk so that others can feel comfortable around me and it makes my life easier too.
I enjoyed that part after highschool when I found out I was an INTJ and realized the power I hold over bullies. I shock them and scare them with my mind.
I know most INTJ women come here to find acceptance when the outside world doesn’t. They believe I’m boring if I don’t gossip. They believe I’m an outcast-alien species with no sense of humour just because I don’t find their conversations interesting. They think I’m shy if I don’t participate in their small talks. They want me to be girly when I’m not. I’m stuck up if I correct people and being extremely good at something a.k.a being a NERD as people oh-so-politely name us, is a crime and I therefore don’t deserve to be treated as a human being with real feelings. How many of you can relate? Yeah, and there are times when we’re scared of dying alone and all alone ‘cuz every boy you meet is not your type and they’re dumb but then be like: “I’m better off on my own.I don’t need another half.” 😞 It’s hard being such an outcast. But I’m still proud I’m an INTJ. Remember, one day we’ll prove them all wrong.
I feel you. Don't worry. Just keep being you. INTJs are always successful in any field they choose. Earn lots of money. Travel. Enjoy life. If you find a partner, then awesome. If not, awesome as well. As INTJs we need supportive partners, or none at all.
‘soft serve ice cream ..hard candy shell of dark chocolate.” - I knew it, I’m a Magnum Classic 🤣 All jokes aside, I agree with us being extremely competitive with ourselves. I often create these “finish line” every year. I try to anticipate an issue and the goal is to come up with a solution or improve a weakness before issue occurs, hence the race towards the finish line. I sometimes feel like Mario, always levelling up. 😆🤘🏼
Silly person, mario doesnt level up. Well unless you are one of the 5 people who still know about Mario RPG or the other 5 that played the rabbids game.
As a male INTJ, I can affirm that the music room is one of the best places in a high school to hang out. I graduated 18 years ago, but I still find those kinds of people fascinating to be around.
Interesting. I was homeschooled with an extrovert outdoor family, so there was no music room to hide in. But while I didn’t have an eye for producing music myself, I do remember spending a lot of time around those with musical talent in my teen years. Wow! I never connected that or found that of any importance tell this topic. But that was many moons ago, as I am in my later 30’s now. (Please 40’s, stay away.). But I did find a safe place to focus in social situations, if I was able to focus on the aspects of that music, even though that I myself could not accomplish such an abstract art as music can be.
Hmm, mine was the computer lab and that was 26 years ago when computers were not like they are today. I'd often ask for a pass to go to the computer lab during my lunch and studies. I preferred being alone being productive and saw the usual antics of a typical female teenager boring and petty.
The thing about relationship and romantical partner as an INTJ is that I dont want a dependent relationship. Meaning that when I am in relationship, I want to be with him not because I need him, but because I want him. I can live without him, but still I want him.
Yes please. I’ve never seen anyone write the words I’d said to some before. :) they were offended. What they don’t see if that choices based on need is more likely to be extrinsic and can de undone when the need is gone. Conscious choice is more enduring, and more likely to be intrinsic.
That is actually a normal healthy thing. I think some imagine a relationship having to be codependent and unhealthy. I still think we can want and need somebody, just not in that way. I believe a lot of people are indoctrinated with drama as a typical relationship, which is really not the standard. I can want and need somebody just in a healthy way. And there are enough people that have this balanced end mature outlook. Like I said, a lot of it comes from the media and make it seem like a relationship should be a distructive hobby. When you are bored, why not create some drama for each other just for the fun of it. I wish everyone a healthy relationship with love, peace and without torturing each other.
I spend most of it in my own classroom. Usually when it was break time or lunch time, everyone would leave the class and there wouldn't be many people inside the classroom. We didn't change classrooms and my school was small. There were around 800 students though. And the only people that knew about my existence were my teachers and classmates, and those others I went on projects with! Otherwise, socializing was completely useless because "I'm only gonna spend 4 years here, what's the point? I'll never talk to them the moment I graduate!"
Depends. We get so lost in our worlds and you'll feel left out. At least that's what my bf complains about. He feels like my project is more important to me than him. But it's true, my projects are indeed more important than him. 😂 Bless him. So if you don't mind being always 2nd priority, then we are perfect.
We are too real for this fake world;) I just found out I'm with this personality type few days ago...I feel good that I'm not like others. Being different intrigues me rather than "blending in".
I've never ever felt more identified with a description in my life. The way you explained everything was so precise and satisfying! Honestly, this is the type of informative, direct and well organized videos that I love.
I'm here because I love my INTJ girlfriend and I want to understand how she works so I can love her even more. The long days of no communication from her took some getting used to, but I definitely know she's up to something amazing.
The positive side of us was so readily thought of as negative when I was growing up. Independent females were called difficult or worse, thinking females were ostracized, belittled and rarely listened to. I’m so encouraged by the awareness that is more available now so INTJ gals can accept themselves early on.
I’m dating an INTJ woman and planning to propose soon! I love watching her go into her own world and throw herself into projects. She’s an incredible woman and I’m lucky to have met her. So much of what you said here reminds me of her.
I'm a guy and all of those points apply to me too. I don't think it's necessary to label yourself as a male/female INTJ, cause if you're an INTJ, then you're an INTJ. Of course men and women think differently, but that has nothing to do with your MBTI-type. Not trying to dismiss you Lindsay, but y know
Yellow I agree mostly. I had a disclaimer about it but I ended up deleting it because I ... didn’t care lol. I think a few of these are more common to experience growing up and being in female social circles and within traditional gender dynamics, but it’s very slight. The video was also named this way for SEO purposes.
@@_yellow INTJ is such a small category that it's nice to find people who think so alike regardless of gender... it's like finding your alien species lol. One possible difference though as a female is that we don't seem to meet other females' expectation sometimes. Almost never felt this with males, just other females... they try to connect and expect you to relate to certain things and you just don't... Because statistically most females are SF types, the opposite of us. I do think that makes a difference. Whereas more males are ST types so at least you have SOME mode of thinking in common with them...
@@_yellow I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the impact sex has on your overall experience as an INTJ. Saying it doesn't matter would be like saying all INTJ's are the same or think exactly alike. We do not. Personally I find female INTJ's fascinating, because even though I have all the tools to imagine what I might be like if I were the opposite sex my conclusion is typically proven wrong when I actually meet them in life and have open discussions with them.
I’ve never met another female who was an INTJ. It’s nice to hear you talk about things that I experienced that left me feeling misunderstood growing up. I now think it’s good to embrace all of it, all the quirks, as gifts. Thank you for sharing :)
I'm an INTJ and I agree with you on almost every single thing you said about us INTJ women but I'd like to point out one thing,personally I think gossip is a waste of time but sometimes it is good for understanding other people..since I like to keep to myself all the time and I'd rather focus on myself than try to socialize,listening to certain types of gossip can help me understand people who surround me and learn from their mistakes of course I don't participate in their gossip but I'd let people gossip to me (if they want) to kind of get to know them better,like how they think,how they act, what do they think of me and what's their opinion on certain topics but I won't gossip with them I'll just advise them If they need the advice.
INTJ-A female here and I know EXACTLY what you mean. I used to be INTJ-T, and gossip is how I blended in. It’s people letting their guard down to show what they think and you watch them observe someone else to KNOW how they observed. I only gossiped when I had an INTJ friend, because he analyzed the same way I did.
You just perfectly described me. This is spot on! A few days ago I met another INTJ for the first time in my life and we literally talked for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. For our personality type, this is extremely uncommon, but it was like I had connected for the first time with someone who ACTUALLY understood me. Conversation just flowed, it kept my attention, was intelligent, and I didn’t feel anxious. I’m glad to have found this channel and other INTJ females. I will definitely be watching more :)
(INFP) I have 2 experiences with INTJ's; brother and past relationship. There is nothing complex about them. They speak loud and clear about most everything. One just needs to know what to and how to listen.
@@InternetLiJo Hello oh fellow INFP commentator and INTJ host. I can relate to almost everything the INTJs talk about, and the way they talk is very soothing to my heart and my brain.
I’m an INFP as well. INTJ’s a very clear on what they are communicating. I often view INTJ’s as intellectual bullies though. I’m sure it’s not intentional, they just value logic while I value abstract senses of emotion.
INTJ female with boderline personality disorder and dependent personality disorder. Very confused how I developed my personality disorders having this cold mastermind of a personality, but I guess it's possible with any type. This is where I discovered self-improvement through my therapy and getting sober from drugs and where I have truly found who I am. I'm still gonna be a counselor. I want to counsel people like me who struggle to understand emotions. Luckily, I am way too competitive with myself (and absolutely no one else, I'm very cooperative with them) and somehow cracked how emotions logically work. I can now say, after extensive research, emotions do follow logical patterns. Those of greed, jealousy, and passion, though, I have yet to crack. I will get back to y'all in 3-7 months.
Wish I had known about all this years ago. I have always felt like an alien, never fitted in and never really 'liked' people or socialising. I only found out about 6months that I was an INTJ(female), so many things are now much easier to accept and understand, really good to know I am not actually crazy as I have thought and been told for years. Everything you have said describes me, glad to know I am not alone in an alien world. Really relate to the independent theme, my ex always said 'you don't need me' any answer was 'Yes, but I WANT you' I don't think he ever understood the difference. Thanks LiJo
Gossip, in Jungian terms is one means of people projecting their own shadows -- the ignored, repressed and underdeveloped parts of their own personalities -- onto other people. And what they project may be quite inaccurate or even completely wrong. It often says more about the gossiper than the person gossiped about. While an introverted intuitive will be working from their inner vision of what "could be", the greater number of extroverted sensate people around them will be watching what is immediately in front of them, and perplexed at the one who is not following the predictable, established, and "normal". If you only worry about "What will the neighbors think?" you will never lead an authentic life of your own.
INTJ male here. Wanted to learn more about the female version of me. I think those watching who are hearing about the romantic/partner traits she mentions towards the beginning may be going the direction of attachment style vs INTJ traits. It sounds like dismissive avoidant attachment more here than being an INTJ. Attachment theory is very fascinating stuff and I highly recommend looking into it. You will learn so much about the kind of partner you are and those that you’ve dated in the past.
I'm definitely not preppy. Nor am I the soft, timid, mousy kind of gal. I will definitely speak my mind. I tend to act a little dorky, but that's honestly to take the edge off when I'm meeting someone new.
Never has anyone said anything more spot on regarding INTJ’s: “Everyone wants to use us because we can figure things out and get things done very easily.” I long ago wearied of being useful. More than anything else, that returned reflection from the eyes of others has made me cynical as to the abilities of those “others”...or perhaps the lack of abilities.
As an INTJ who is much taller and stronger than average, it is very draining at work to have to constantly help people who are too weak or incompetent to do their job on their own.
For me it's usually for professional reference. Like "hey can you get me a spot in your company?" even though they are highly unqualified. And never talked to me in years. I hate that. People should be hired because of their skills not connections. Also those MLM scams, or they trying to sell something to me, coz they know I have a good career and financially stable. Ugh I just hate fake people in general. I have a very small group of friends. And they are very high quality people, and won't sell shit to me. 😂 They passed my rigid standards.
The cult following thing made me laugh, but I've experienced it a few times. Some of the people around me will quote things I've said as if they're quoting a famous person. It's funny and I always thought it was weird...until now
INTP male here, trying to understand similar personality types with 1 variable off, its crazy how that one thing makes us so different, also very well articulated video overall pleasant to watch, it's rare that I ever comment and if I do it's rarely of this nature, but yeah keep it up.
It's been a couple of years since you released this, but I had to say this: You made feel like home, understood. I rearely find someone who actually understands the great passion I feel for my goals and how hard I work to achive them. Also, when you said "translate our brains to human talk", THAT WAS SO ME. It's what I always do with, and I say this with no offense, ordinary people, if I want them to get the idea without getting confused. I'm so proud of being an INTJ, and so happy to share that with other INTJ females! Let's keep on working hard, INTJ female fellows!
I found out yesterday I am an INTJ-A male. I also found out that we make a very small percentage of the population and that INTJ women are even more rare. I also did a little bit of research in INTJ relationships and it seems as though we only match well with our own types. I am going to die alone XD
I just realized I am an INTJ. Last two times I tested I was completely different. This helps me understand myself. I started to watch a generic INTJ video, and I think it was more geared towards men, and an INTJ in female form expresses differently.
About the heart :') that literally made me cry.. I am really tired of that .. really Can't anybody like me for who I am as a person not why I can afford for them? Sometimes I am even disappointed with my family and just think that probably they wouldn't love me for who I am if it wasn't any blood relating going on there. In my opinion one of the sad things of being an intj is this feeling.
Forever alone everyone thinks I hate them...being hella sufficient is annoying. Great observation about the heart. I love to play and have fun. Buy cute lil sentimental gifts...but then ppl think you are weak. No... I am adorable, observant, and researched where to find a 1984 Ghostbuster car on Ebay for you sir. But now you don't value my thoughts...back to my cave to research. Where I truly feel at ease. ✨ Great video.
INTJ male here. I've only ever met one genuine INTJ female in the wild but she was great. Regardless I find myself still identifying with a lot of what you are saying even as a man. The alien comment is priceless.
This is completely true. I often felt left out in a lot of things. Gossips just drain me tbh that's why my friends and I drifted apart since they gossip so much and I just yeet myself out. There was a time where I tried to pretend to be someone else. Someone really extroverted and socially active, I tried placing myself in a lot of topics that didn't really have my attention. So basically I was forcing myself so swallow an enormous amount of unwanted knowledge just because I wanted to fit in with everybody else. But now that I've grown quite a bit, I've learned that being different is ok. And thank the heavens since I found some friends that I can invest my time and knowledge in. We talk about scientific theories, societal and environmental problems. I feel more comfortable talking with them than others since I'm not very keen on doing small talk.
Congratulations LiJo! As an INTJ woman, you really know and nailed 100%our genuine INTJ character traits therefore you can count on my sincerest cooperation to work with you without hesitation in our INTJ adventures.
As a mature ENFP male, I'd really love to have another INTJ woman as my life partner (aka wife). I lost one to triple negative breast cancer in 2018. We were a couple for 5 great years. We would return from shopping or an outing, being engaged in one of our rich conversations, content to just sit there and talk. It was wonderful. As an optimist, I believe and pray she will find me or I will find her one fine day. I will be patient and wait for her.
I find communication is so frustrating but important especially in workplace. I have spent time in studying coaching, taking courses and understanding the most effective strategies to communicate and make people feel happy. I still care about other's feelings and genuinely don't mean to hurt them. I treat every conversation as a way to learn about human being so I can make things work out as the way I plan, to reduce barriers and conflicts that waste time. I find that communications and how to influence others has an effective mechanism behind, coaching is definitely one of the most effective ways. I strongly suggest you guys to learn the methods so we can display less emotions from heart, but still be able to be perceived as nice, empathetic and approachable. (Perhaps I am not an INTJ afterall, but I think these might still help)
So true. I would like to tell you how much I have enjoyed your videos. I only just found them a few weeks ago, but it has been thoroughly enjoyable to be able see another person I can actually relate to. You have also opened up new research material for me to delve into ( much to the chagrin of my family). My son, an ENTP, had me take the test and after taking it a few dozen times to test it's accuracy and on a dozen different platforms and getting the same response INTJ, started doing more research into the personality typing. Through watching your videos and the people who you connect with I am enjoying learning everything and feel like this is really helping me to make sense of my quirks and be aware of the pitfalls so I can avoid them. So, long story short, thank you and keep up the good work.
As an INTJ female, I agree with you so much! Especially the part where you describe our heart as soft ice cream with a cover of candied dark chocolate…
This made me feel so much better about myself, as an INTJ and wanting to make sense of literally EVERYTHING, I feel like hearing our personalities explained with so much detail and accuracy is the best thing ever, especially when we sometimes feel like we're perceived as cold hearted aliens. The child-like heart thing too, so spot on...
1. Yes! 2. During highschool, I almost never knew who was dating who, or I might know but just didn't care. 3. Once upon a time I didn't come home during 2 weeks holiday and prefered to stay at uni to work on my thesis. 4. I cry if my family members raise voice at me, but with others, I am like unemotional steel. I still chilled down even when one of my coworker cursed at me. 5. 28 years of living and results only around ten people considered real friends. 6. Lolol. That's why I often say, "do you understand what I am saying?" 7. Yep. We are called mastermind, after all.
I really enjoyed watching this. I’m an INTJ but could never really think of how to explain to others and you do a great job. It’s also refreshing to her like minded people to know I’m not as much of an outsider as I’ve felt.
EnFp here. Just want to say thanks for all the work you all have done for humanity and truly appreciate that your powerful minds on our side. It's actually comforting to know that we're not alone. The more I've learned about this group the better I feel about the future!!
The having to translate our minds' point was so precise. I'm glad you mentioned it. I've always felt like I speak a different language and not just because I'm learning my fourth one, but for the fact that I assume that my way of thinking is the norm, which is not the case here, and it's difficult to limit abstract ideas so other people can visualize something similar to what I already pictured in mind. Besides that I'm always trying to make a point when I open my mouth but other people seem to like to be nonsensely talkative copying the popular expressions and accents at the moment. I refuse to talk like a walking meme... I mean, what the use in that?
This was so healing and comforting to watch knowing there are others out there that do understand what us INTJ's go through, it was like taking my "human" mask off
I can relate, especially when you mention that we're like aliens... Unfortunately, I haven't meet (and interact with) another 'alien' (INTJ females) in real life yet :(
For me, the hardest thing about being an INTJ woman is the conflict between enjoying the fact that others value you for your competence and feeling used by those same people for solving their problems for them, or creating the environment in which THEY can thrive.
And hello again, another wall of text might be coming your way, I'll see once the video is finished. 1. Independence: I have this and I have not, but that is due to my depression mostly. As soon as I am depressed, I am in dire need of help and emotional stability, as the constant thoughts I have all the time as an INTJ get too much and too dark and hateful towards me. So I need someone to drag me out of this state. However, as soon as I am in a better mental state, I will refuse help whenever possible. I do not like taking money or food when offered, not even from my friends and often not even from my partners (poly with two bfs). I have learned to accept some help for them as I do also help them sometimes, but I will still refuse this help sometimes and only cave in bc I care so much about them. 2. No interest in small talk/gossip, and so on. I agree to I think 90% with this. I do not mind if a person I value starts their conversation with something like "How are you?", bc I know that coming from these people the question is heartfelt and not an empty saying. The rest of small talk can kiss my ass however. Gossip is for me sometimes, but only in very specific cases. Recent example: a former friend I was the first to see through their lies, was very hurtful towards my friends, people under my self claimed protection and was therefore a vile thing not worthy of any sympathy. Once my friends actually noticed her false and sly behavior and cast her out for it, I bonded over them in talking bad about her, as it gave both me and my friends an outlet for our frustration, because I would rather gossip and talk bad about her to get her out of my system than having her in my thoughts any more than necessary. If the gossip is a means to make me more efficient faster, then i am all for it. 3. Obsessing over something and forgetting everything and everyone around as for x-period of time. I do have this, mostly as I work on art. I might spend way over 20h folding a book, sometimes 5h without pause for anything, and my friends have to expect that. Glad/relieved there is a point I can just wholeheartedly agree with without questioning my being as an INTJ. 4. Another easy agree, I am very soft inside, though most people do never see that. So far, only my two partners have seen the full extent of my heart. I was being used for a long time of my life by false friends and finally having people around me that truly appreciate me makes me open up a bit more than I used to. 5. Again, easy agree: I have a semi large group of people I consider "pals", these are people I enjoy spending time with, but do not open up to completely. These are at this point far more than I ever had in my life and does remind me of the cult like following you described, as I do seem to be important to quite a lot of these. This may be bc they are all introverts and nerds, so that does make us already more compatible than most people. At this point in time I do not consider any of them friends, as the only two people of my current social group I called that are now in a poly relationship with me. I might be too strict with whom I call friends, but that is something I came to terms with. I use the word friends for my "pals" when talking to other people, as it confuses them less. 6. I will ask my pals/friends how they see me, that might be awkward for them but should be very interested. 7. Glad that this is the last point as the last ones have been feeling redundant as I was mostly/completely agreeing with you (I might be an INTJ after all xD). I do have this a lot, whipping myself to be better. This is a harmful thing if it comes together with depression, at least it is for me. I value my efficiency and intellect and overall mental capacities a lot, so as soon as I am in a bad mental state, instead of this inner INTJ drive making me better, it makes me so self conscious that my output gets worse and it makes me fall even deeperinto my abyss/depression. I again thank you for the wonderful INTJ content, I will go to sleep now, I am sure I will return for another lengthy comment under another one of your videos, hoping you aren't already annoyed with the length of the ones I have written so far.
This explanation is perfection. I definitely feel like an alien having to pretend to be human. I also relate to I don't need a relationship but I want a relationship. Actually you could be describing me. Thank you for stating this so articulately.
"INTJs have a big opponent, that is themselves" That is so true, I always trying to get better and better than what I was yesterday, seeking ways to not fall into the void of being stuck - and sometimes falling
Lijo: **says INTJ female characteristics one by one** Me being an INTJ female: I don't need to doubt the Mbti results anymore. 95% of what she said is true. 😭
I always thought that I was not a complete intj but hearing u just made me realize that what u described is literally me. Sometimes becuz how diff. I am, I kinda had existential crisis and it's still hard for me to find my place in my family and friend circle. But hearing you helped me understand that me being different is my specialty.
I just realized that Tinder is not a good app for INTJs. I dont know why i get no answer when i try to talk about trans-humanism and merging consciousness with AI, transcending, in a very "nietzschean" way, the mediocre humanity that we have now. "Man is a bridge...". They often reply "wtf? u are a transgender?". I just give up.
I definitely get the friends thing. I have exactly two people who I consider my real friends (neither of whom I started talking to intentionally) and I’m perfectly happy with that
I can relate so much to this. I was so happy when I finally met a friend, a true friend, who is also an INTJ and who could tell me about this. I learned so much about myself and in turn also about how others see me. At last, I don't feel like there is something wrong with me. Sure, I'm still an alien, but now I put it in perspective.
I met a fellow intj female once and the conversations we had in one setting would confuse the hell out of other people listening to us talk 😂 Not having to slow down or explain myself and just unleashing everything i wanted to say when i wanted to say it was an otherworldly experience for me :)
I’m a intj male. I have only just discovered the personality types in depth. I have always been the one on the outside looking in on others. People around me have accepted I’m not into their normal everyday activities and could not care less. I’m blunt to the point and I do not like beating around the bush as people say. When people really need something and the shit has hit the fan is when I’m called on. I’m okay with that. I’m better on my own and my free alone time is my world. It is nice to know there are others like me and to know that there are females that are injt and understand. It is hot also. Anyway thank you for doing these videos.
I'm a guy and it's almost scary how perfectly this described me. The alien part... shots fired right through the hard candy shell of my alien heart. Nailed it.
Hello fellow INTJ females...
Hello!
As an INTJ there is a sence of pride in how rare you actually are. And yet my male perspective considers this fact as also mildly irritating. Why must relationships be both desired and usually impractical?
Hello INTJ females that I will never meet cause there are so few of you, rip the INTJ + INTJ dream
Hello. Hope you are well.
@@esahn9 hahah I have met a couple INTJ men and we clicked instantly.
As an INTJ I'm not the kind of person that is invited to parties, but I am definitely the one they call when a problem needs fixing.
I appreciate the invite even if I never go lol
Straight up
I went to the party to support my friend, but brought my Shakespeare book to read while she socialized :). Another party with this same friend had drugs there; when I found out, I left immediately. My friend was trying to get me to stay, even chased me when I was outside, but I wasn't going back no matter how much she pleaded.
Wow this is so true
@Michael Pullins I just recall seeing what looked like some kind of pipe, but I didn't stick around to find out more. I am a goody two shoes, square, Debbie Downer, etc. and proud of it. I learned early that drugs, the legal kind, are for serious illness only. And any damage you do to your body when you're young will catch up to you when you're older. No thank you!
"We dont need you, but that doesnt mean we dont want you here."
Exactly. So please dont leave nor hate me just because I dont need you.
Its very difficult to politely tell people to just kindly "fuck off" xD
Most people take "i just want to be alone" as rude for some odd reason
I found the right partner! He is not helpful by nature... Meaning that he has no need to rescue me. 10 years of loving respectful relationship ! Works for both. I'd say he is an ISTJ, but not sure.
this shit was so relatable
Ain't that the truth
I used to tell my (ex) husband that he should be thrilled and complimented that I "wanted" him despite the fact that I didn't "need" him. He never understood and I couldn't un-be myself.
INTJ male saying hi to 0.9% of the female population .
Yo what up
Hi.
Hello mate 👋
Hello :)
Hi :)
when you mention "We feel as though we are aliens from some other planet, dropped off on earth, and forced to play “human”. Though we can connect with people at times, it’s as though you are constantly translating your brain to communicate through “human talk”. " I can definitely relate
Yep!!! 😬
👽
@@InternetLiJo Diggin' the videos btw
Me too. Must be an Ni dom thing. (INFJ)
I'm an INFP male and I can relate. While watching Star Trek: Next Generation, I was surprised how much I related to DATA -- especially his fascination with humanity. And I especially understand the language filtration. My thoughts get so abstract, that I have trouble breaking them down into words that even "I" can understand, let alone some normie Sensor. Without that filter I would probably sound a Bhuddist monk.
EDIT: Okay for those that have already read this Comment (before I fixed this), that was supposed to be *normie*; not *hornier*. Apparently Autocorrect thinks I have a dirty mind.
When you said gossip is a sign of human weakness, wow you made me really like you!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
It’s easy to like the truth right?!
While gossip today is unnecessary, it used to have a purpose for human evolution. Before we had such comfortable lives and a society that keeps everyone alive (I'm not saying takes care of everyone, but with financial aid and such, and being able to get a job as a single mother, it's possible to stay alive), women needed good providers, which meant marriage to a male who can provide for you. And it was also important to avoid incest to have healthy children. Gossip was the way to know who will be a good match and who had children with who so you know whom to avoid and whom to marry.
(INTP) From my readings, gossip isn't so much about weakness as it is about vulnerability - and those are two very different things. You have to be strong before you can make yourself vulnerable.
It's mostly an unconscious calculation, but by giving you privileged information, I'm demonstrating that I trust you, since you could betray me by informing others that I ratted them out. It's the tactic salespeople use: giving a person a gift, no matter how small, makes them want to give you something just to reciprocate.
Oh, and was listening to the Decameron on audiobook and learned that "gossip" originally meant "god-sib," an acquaintance you share a god-parent with.
Okay, did some digging...
INTPs find 90% of gossip boring. We find 10% of it interesting, but in a non-standard way. What we're trying to do when we "gossip" is learn, about the people being discussed or about people in general. INTPs are all about systems analysis, and people are systems too. For us, the vast majority of gossip is noise. We find it boring, but we don't actively hate it.
With INTJs, it looks like they have a problem with it because it violates their boundaries of trust. It's unethical. Which I can sort of understand - gossip is about revealing privileged information about somebody else, as a way of demonstrating how much you value your listener's friendship relative to how you value the friendship of the person you're dishing on.
Still not sure that gossiping is equivalent to weakness, though. I still think it's more about vulnerability than weakness. It is a sign that you're looking to make alliances, but that doesn't mean you're weak, just that you're not omnipotent. Humans live in a society for a reason, after all, and gossip is "just" the verbal equivalent of chimps grooming each other.
The idea that INTJs refuse to gossip because it violates their trust boundaries and their ethics is... Interesting. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it.
@@Huspree2011 This, I can agree with :D
Pure bliss = connecting with another INTJ and realizing that you aren’t the only alien 👽 on the planet.
👽👽👽fam
the invasion begins at noon. The fate of the humans will be a sad one, but we will be gracious and keep some as pets.
My husband and I are both INTJ. And my sister
This happened to me exactly ONCE and people thought we were talking in code bc of how quickly we were jumping ahead in conversations, discussing different topics simultaneously. It was glorious and I felt completely elated to click with someone so fast 🙃
I don’t think I know any INTJs :(
Gossip is just tiring, draining.
Yessss
I (INFP) and my BFF (INTJ) can relate to this sooo much
I think that is one of the main reasons why we get along so well.
Btw,I'm watching this video to understand my BFF even more 😊
Idk i get from it informatin and you can learn a lot about person when you listen..
most of time. yes.
i like it, kinda becomes a situation where i can analyze people's emotions
'Hi, come chat with me.'
'About what?'
'Anything.'
'What's the point?'
'To hangout'.
'What's the need of chatting just to hangout?'
HAH yup!
next best line would be 'congratulations! we just gained 2 experience points in conversation!'
literally me 👌😂
Thank You 7 of 9. 👍
Exactly. I once spent 96 hours in a car ride (cross country) with a friend and we spent 93 of those hours in absolute silence (apart from classical music). Most of which I didn't actually register because I was so far in my head I didn't realize time existed (if that makes sense). But it was so incredibly lovely and the best thing about it was that they enjoyed the silence as well.
I am an INTJ female and I like to hear gossips but I am very picky on which which kinds of gossip?? Like it should be interesting, meaningful in sOME wAYS and make sure it is a hot tea.
same!
SAME! and the gossip needs to be straight to the point and short as possible for me
AGREEE
More like my level of interest goes slightly up when it's "hot tea" as you mentioned or it concerns people I really care about (friends & family)
Me too
INTJ+INTJ relationship= power games
Pretty much what I was thinking listening to her. I just want to crawl inside her head and start prodding....but of course she'd want to do the same. That would be a struggle for sure.
yes, a competition of who is right. But maybe knowing that it's hurtful to INTjs to be wrong , we can avoid that and just admire the INTJ's company and maybe try to use your heart at least with that special person.
that would be perfect.. you do your thing as will i.. we meet up on occasion to discuss.
I'm in a relationship with a ESFP. And the funny thing is, that is exactly what the 16personalities-website says is a perfect counterpart to us INTJs. And I get why: My boyfriend always challenges me to do things I would never do, and he is also the more social one of us, which is great at gatherings. The ESFPs bring you out of your comfort zone, which we need sometimes to experience some things in life. It is challenging though to do new things and I'm still not happily spontaneous. But my ESFP boyfriend really took the time to understand me and that's really great.
That would be a mess. We are always arguing with each other, and the topic is mostly about novels and science.
We don't like gossip doesn't mean we are not gossiped about. Quite often an INTJ woman isn't even aware of the social harm that malicious gossiping causes, mostly because we do not figure "social structure" out. This is one thing young INTJs should be aware of, so as not to be caught off guard.
Yesss exactly. We are disconnected from it.
Body language analysis might be a good skill for an INTJ to invest time into. BombardsBodyLanguage.com has a video series tutorial available for $10/month. And I imagine an INTJ especially could master it in less than one month, so you could cancel your subscription after the first month (making it only a one-time fee of $10).
If not, then "The Charisma Matrix" is also a good resource. He focuses more on improving social skills. Sounds particularly useful for conquering that Se Inferior (and also Ne Nemesis).
FYI, I'm not getting paid by either of these people. It just seems to me that this could be especially helpful for INxJs. Who knows, Lindsay? Maybe this can be your new "Thing". 😉
I've always said that if only I was half as interesting as the gossip out there about me, well I'd have a very cool life. But alas....
@Jeff Peate How do they morph into an ENFJ?
Lol it doesn't matter, if someone is to listen to gossip and believe it then that is not a person we wanna be around, it does not make any sense to me why i should care about such trivial crap, give me one good LOGICAL reason i should care, I'm waiting.. *Sips tea*
I am a INTJ-T type, it’s difficult. You’re so disconnected from everyone and feel that you are constantly being judged. In High school it’s horrible. I would like to meet someone like me, watching this video and reading upon my personality type it’s as if I’m being described, quite harrowing.
Same here...
I’m in year 9 uk. I’ve always felt pretty detached and in a way “older” from all the kids around me at school, so when I recently discovered that I was an intj, everything just connected so perfectly.
I'm also an INTJ-T.
Right now I feel lost and secluded from my highschool peers.
You must've used the 16 personality website for that, which is actually a rather poor test for determining your mbti type.
Same here... I even argued w/the teachers...
INTJ female goes through prolonged phases of “manic research”
*me, in a dark hole the last 3 weeks, obsessively watching lectures and reading essays on quantum field theory*
OMG! I wish we were friends or neighbors so we could talk. I love the whole idea of physics and quantum theory. I could sit for hours talking about these subjects. I was never that bright at math so I could never study this in school. But ideas and concepts are easy to understand.
Or the research of the research of the research you're researching on
Lindsay has absolutely done the same thing.
YES!
😭wtf
I'm an intj female, and luckily have met with another intj girl. We're friends now, the intersting is we can sit next to each other, in the same room like whole day, but do not talk to each other, just do our business and keep quiet. But, except for suddenly I or she find something interesting, like the woman's problem in society, nihilsm, racism etc, then we can talk about that, and the silent can go.
That’s awesome! So glad you’ve made that connection.
I envy you
That's something I guess all Nis have in common. Going 100% deep out of nowhere, always ready to discuss life on a structural level.
Can I join in your gang
@@Lylantares r/iamverysmart
Other's know we don't gossip, & that's why we become a target of gossip. Intj's are also seen as sensitive, & socially awkward to bullies, & that puts a bullseye on our backs as well.
Interesting I never feel as though I was gossiped about much but maybe I just never noticed lol
We never notice until it is too late.
@@InternetLiJo I never noticed either, but for some reason people went out of their way to tell me I was gossiped about by people I'd never looked at or talked to
I got bullied a few times in my life for idk what reason, but one time in highschool people from the other class who I never even once interact to pranked me, and because of that I knew that they were talking about me and decided to do it for a really ridiculous reason: I have good scores in class.
Funny thing is I'm not even in the same class with them, it's so absurd.
@@ninadiener9806 Same! I literally had a member of my high school "friend" group come up to me to say, "You know everyone hates you, right?" Man, she must've been disappointed. Pretty sure she was looking for a reaction and she got nothing from me lol.
Intj female here...and I love gossip, sure I don't give any of my information out...but I'd like to get information about others without having to interact with them.
Info is really the only good thing about it, but I usually tune out of petty gossip. That just gets grating.
Hi, are you me?
I listen to get intel. About the person spoken about, but much more about the person doing the gossiping. I will put that human on my black list for avoidable interaction. Sometimes I ask stupid questions to unmask false allegations on the spot. I love fucking with gossipers.
Same 🙂
This.
"She feels like an alien." Oh man, you're on point!
We are always trying to translate our brains into human talk. 🤣🤣🤣 So true. I have to coach myself or be coached to attempt to be "normal."
Translating from my brain to human language generally not too hard, but translating from human language to my brain might be impossible, since there are a lot of nonsense ideas and my brain can't understand them.
I seriously busted out laughing at your explanation: "Intj feel like they are aliens from another planet and were dropped off here and are forced to play human" OMG .. that analogy is one that only an INTJ would understand and appreciate. I literally have been telling people that my whole life. With a VERY select few of my closest friends I will even show them satellite imagery of where my ship dropped me off in a field outside of town :p .... oh and I subbed after that good relate-able laugh
Yes!! It’s seems to be a language theme within our type used to describe ourselves!
Me too! Since I was a kid I used to tell people I felt like an alien haha
Omg yes!! I always said better luck next life. Hahah
Spot on! I feel like this all the time.
Most people from what I hear describe me as someone who's cold, distant, smart ,intelligent and someone who barely have a good time and don't even know how to smile properly. Two of my only and closest friends would have a good laugh about it, cause I am literally a child at heart with a dark sense of humour.
Its nice to know that I am not the only alien here. I felt like I never fit in. I wasn’t the girlie girl. I was miserable in a dorm and the thought of joining a sorority was horrifying. I was in the sciences with mostly guys and was shy. I now know why. Im deeply loyal and responsible. I overthink everything. This is the first video, comments and post for me. The first time I knew I am not the only INTJ, Im just a rare breed
Wow. You just described me.
What you said about having a child-like heart really got me...that was something I’ve never really been able to reconcile with what is often perceived by others as a cold exterior
But it’s nice to hear that there are other aliens like me haha
My boyfriend was able to penetrate to my childlike heart. Haha bless him. He knows too much now.
As an INTJ woman I can relate to this. I spent over 50 years knowing I was different. Others always made me feel like an outsider and bullied me because of it. I have few friends because I learned not to trust people. I have learned that it’s ok to be me and not care what others say. As far as everyday interactions, I make small talk so that others can feel comfortable around me and it makes my life easier too.
Yesss... 100%, thats our story.
I enjoyed that part after highschool when I found out I was an INTJ and realized the power I hold over bullies. I shock them and scare them with my mind.
I know most INTJ women come here to find acceptance when the outside world doesn’t.
They believe I’m boring if I don’t gossip.
They believe I’m an outcast-alien species with no sense of humour just because I don’t find their conversations interesting.
They think I’m shy if I don’t participate in their small talks.
They want me to be girly when I’m not.
I’m stuck up if I correct people and being extremely good at something a.k.a being a NERD as people oh-so-politely name us, is a crime and I therefore don’t deserve to be treated as a human being with real feelings.
How many of you can relate?
Yeah, and there are times when we’re scared of dying alone and all alone ‘cuz every boy you meet is not your type and they’re dumb but then be like: “I’m better off on my own.I don’t need another half.”
😞
It’s hard being such an outcast.
But I’m still proud I’m an INTJ.
Remember, one day we’ll prove them all wrong.
Yeah expect the worst from them and then they will only surprise you. That’s my trick 😉
@@InternetLiJo isn't that borderline disrespectful?
I feel you. Don't worry. Just keep being you. INTJs are always successful in any field they choose. Earn lots of money. Travel. Enjoy life. If you find a partner, then awesome. If not, awesome as well. As INTJs we need supportive partners, or none at all.
@@tulips7465 Aw, thank you so much! Have a great day! 😊
@@tulips7465 🥺
‘soft serve ice cream ..hard candy shell of dark chocolate.” - I knew it, I’m a Magnum Classic 🤣
All jokes aside, I agree with us being extremely competitive with ourselves. I often create these “finish line” every year. I try to anticipate an issue and the goal is to come up with a solution or improve a weakness before issue occurs, hence the race towards the finish line. I sometimes feel like Mario, always levelling up. 😆🤘🏼
Lmao and yes level ⬆️
Silly person, mario doesnt level up. Well unless you are one of the 5 people who still know about Mario RPG or the other 5 that played the rabbids game.
As a male INTJ, I can affirm that the music room is one of the best places in a high school to hang out. I graduated 18 years ago, but I still find those kinds of people fascinating to be around.
Yes!!
I agree. I found am the music room stress free.
Interesting. I was homeschooled with an extrovert outdoor family, so there was no music room to hide in. But while I didn’t have an eye for producing music myself, I do remember spending a lot of time around those with musical talent in my teen years. Wow! I never connected that or found that of any importance tell this topic. But that was many moons ago, as I am in my later 30’s now. (Please 40’s, stay away.). But I did find a safe place to focus in social situations, if I was able to focus on the aspects of that music, even though that I myself could not accomplish such an abstract art as music can be.
Hmm, mine was the computer lab and that was 26 years ago when computers were not like they are today. I'd often ask for a pass to go to the computer lab during my lunch and studies. I preferred being alone being productive and saw the usual antics of a typical female teenager boring and petty.
I was a music major at first in college
The thing about relationship and romantical partner as an INTJ is that I dont want a dependent relationship. Meaning that when I am in relationship, I want to be with him not because I need him, but because I want him. I can live without him, but still I want him.
Exactly
That's exactly how I've always described it 👌
Exactly
Yes please. I’ve never seen anyone write the words I’d said to some before. :) they were offended. What they don’t see if that choices based on need is more likely to be extrinsic and can de undone when the need is gone. Conscious choice is more enduring, and more likely to be intrinsic.
That is actually a normal healthy thing.
I think some imagine a relationship having to be codependent and unhealthy. I still think we can want and need somebody, just not in that way.
I believe a lot of people are indoctrinated with drama as a typical relationship, which is really not the standard.
I can want and need somebody just in a healthy way. And there are enough people that have this balanced end mature outlook.
Like I said, a lot of it comes from the media and make it seem like a relationship should be a distructive hobby. When you are bored, why not create some drama for each other just for the fun of it.
I wish everyone a healthy relationship with love, peace and without torturing each other.
"Spent most of my high school career in the music room" 😂😂😂😂😂😂 For me it was the library 😂😂😂😂😂 S o good 😊
I spend most of it in my own classroom. Usually when it was break time or lunch time, everyone would leave the class and there wouldn't be many people inside the classroom. We didn't change classrooms and my school was small. There were around 800 students though. And the only people that knew about my existence were my teachers and classmates, and those others I went on projects with! Otherwise, socializing was completely useless because "I'm only gonna spend 4 years here, what's the point? I'll never talk to them the moment I graduate!"
Imagine having INTJ's in one school
Art room✋🏼
@@namupurachi last bench
For me, it’s the classroom when nobody wants to be there.
As an INTP and I am convinced that INTJ females are perfect.
Sthappp
Depends. We get so lost in our worlds and you'll feel left out. At least that's what my bf complains about. He feels like my project is more important to me than him. But it's true, my projects are indeed more important than him. 😂 Bless him. So if you don't mind being always 2nd priority, then we are perfect.
There is no such thing as perfection when it comes to humans. Then there would be no need for improvement but we always need that.
bruh thats some stereotypical intp incel shit
@@madyy1554 pride is the beginning of destruction
We are too real for this fake world;) I just found out I'm with this personality type few days ago...I feel good that I'm not like others. Being different intrigues me rather than "blending in".
Underrated comment!❤️
INTJ chicks are awesome.
Heeyoooo 🙌🏼
Coming from an INTJ male, I really enjoy my conversations with INTJs of either gender
Totally agree.
We are aren't we?
@@hannah6yearsago683 your username fooled meeeee
I feel less weird and alone.
I’m glad. Welcome 👽
classmates: she's cold-hearted and quite...
my INFP bestfriend: wdym cold-hearted and quite?
The level of accuracy is above a hundred percent
I've never ever felt more identified with a description in my life. The way you explained everything was so precise and satisfying! Honestly, this is the type of informative, direct and well organized videos that I love.
Awesome 👽🙌🏼
That's the sign of an INTJ :D. We like the outside world to be as organized as possible. Auxiliary Te! ^^
I'm here because I love my INTJ girlfriend and I want to understand how she works so I can love her even more. The long days of no communication from her took some getting used to, but I definitely know she's up to something amazing.
The positive side of us was so readily thought of as negative when I was growing up. Independent females were called difficult or worse, thinking females were ostracized, belittled and rarely listened to. I’m so encouraged by the awareness that is more available now so INTJ gals can accept themselves early on.
Person: So how's the weather?
Me a female INTJ: Lol Idk? Want to talk about Neuroscience ?
@Michael Pullins I love it
@@Himeko-wv7fu r/iamverysmart
Not that much but i would to go deeper than that .
Would love to talk about economics !!
me, honestly puzzled: do you not own a window??
It’s actually kinda scary to hear someone else talk so precisely about yourself
Isn’t it?!
I’m dating an INTJ woman and planning to propose soon! I love watching her go into her own world and throw herself into projects. She’s an incredible woman and I’m lucky to have met her. So much of what you said here reminds me of her.
Good choice 👍🏻😎
So how did it go? Is she single - fellow INTJ male here ;-)
What's your own MBTI please?
i think all these apply to INTJ males too, regardless, good video
I figured they might :)
I'm a guy and all of those points apply to me too. I don't think it's necessary to label yourself as a male/female INTJ, cause if you're an INTJ, then you're an INTJ. Of course men and women think differently, but that has nothing to do with your MBTI-type. Not trying to dismiss you Lindsay, but y know
Yellow I agree mostly. I had a disclaimer about it but I ended up deleting it because I ... didn’t care lol.
I think a few of these are more common to experience growing up and being in female social circles and within traditional gender dynamics, but it’s very slight. The video was also named this way for SEO purposes.
@@_yellow INTJ is such a small category that it's nice to find people who think so alike regardless of gender... it's like finding your alien species lol. One possible difference though as a female is that we don't seem to meet other females' expectation sometimes. Almost never felt this with males, just other females... they try to connect and expect you to relate to certain things and you just don't... Because statistically most females are SF types, the opposite of us. I do think that makes a difference. Whereas more males are ST types so at least you have SOME mode of thinking in common with them...
@@_yellow I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss the impact sex has on your overall experience as an INTJ. Saying it doesn't matter would be like saying all INTJ's are the same or think exactly alike. We do not.
Personally I find female INTJ's fascinating, because even though I have all the tools to imagine what I might be like if I were the opposite sex my conclusion is typically proven wrong when I actually meet them in life and have open discussions with them.
I’ve never met another female who was an INTJ. It’s nice to hear you talk about things that I experienced that left me feeling misunderstood growing up. I now think it’s good to embrace all of it, all the quirks, as gifts. Thank you for sharing :)
I'm an INTJ and I agree with you on almost every single thing you said about us INTJ women but I'd like to point out one thing,personally I think gossip is a waste of time but sometimes it is good for understanding other people..since I like to keep to myself all the time and I'd rather focus on myself than try to socialize,listening to certain types of gossip can help me understand people who surround me and learn from their mistakes of course I don't participate in their gossip but I'd let people gossip to me (if they want) to kind of get to know them better,like how they think,how they act, what do they think of me and what's their opinion on certain topics but I won't gossip with them I'll just advise them If they need the advice.
How very INTJ. 😆 We are not into gossip as an activity but find it can be useful as a database.
INTJ-A female here and I know EXACTLY what you mean. I used to be INTJ-T, and gossip is how I blended in. It’s people letting their guard down to show what they think and you watch them observe someone else to KNOW how they observed. I only gossiped when I had an INTJ friend, because he analyzed the same way I did.
You just perfectly described me. This is spot on! A few days ago I met another INTJ for the first time in my life and we literally talked for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. For our personality type, this is extremely uncommon, but it was like I had connected for the first time with someone who ACTUALLY understood me. Conversation just flowed, it kept my attention, was intelligent, and I didn’t feel anxious. I’m glad to have found this channel and other INTJ females. I will definitely be watching more :)
That’s amazing!! Glad you found my channel. It’s so nice to be understood.
(INFP) I have 2 experiences with INTJ's; brother and past relationship. There is nothing complex about them. They speak loud and clear about most everything. One just needs to know what to and how to listen.
😎
@@InternetLiJo Hello oh fellow INFP commentator and INTJ host. I can relate to almost everything the INTJs talk about, and the way they talk is very soothing to my heart and my brain.
Papa Romeo For me, I’m very straightforward and say things plainly, it may sound monotone, but the meaning and intention is there.
@@daniii3915 You are INs ;) We're at least same 'species', even if slightly different breed.
I’m an INFP as well. INTJ’s a very clear on what they are communicating. I often view INTJ’s as intellectual bullies though. I’m sure it’s not intentional, they just value logic while I value abstract senses of emotion.
"We don't want to be saved, but we want to be loved" 🤔👏
You have just put in words what I have felt over my whole life: the need to translate my brain in order to interact to other people.
So nice to see and hear from an actual INTJ female. I was beginning to think I'd never witness an actual human like me.
Yessss 🖤 here I am fam 👽
i’m an ENFP and INTJ’s are my strongest match. This video was very interesting to watch. Good content.
We always find each other!
I can't stop laughing... The comment right above yours read:
No one:
ENFPs: ♥ ♥
I guess it's true 😂
INTJ female with boderline personality disorder and dependent personality disorder. Very confused how I developed my personality disorders having this cold mastermind of a personality, but I guess it's possible with any type. This is where I discovered self-improvement through my therapy and getting sober from drugs and where I have truly found who I am. I'm still gonna be a counselor. I want to counsel people like me who struggle to understand emotions. Luckily, I am way too competitive with myself (and absolutely no one else, I'm very cooperative with them) and somehow cracked how emotions logically work. I can now say, after extensive research, emotions do follow logical patterns. Those of greed, jealousy, and passion, though, I have yet to crack. I will get back to y'all in 3-7 months.
Good luck, keep us updated!
My wife is INTJ, this is her exactly
🙃
Wish I had known about all this years ago. I have always felt like an alien, never fitted in and never really 'liked' people or socialising. I only found out about 6months that I was an INTJ(female), so many things are now much easier to accept and understand, really good to know I am not actually crazy as I have thought and been told for years. Everything you have said describes me, glad to know I am not alone in an alien world. Really relate to the independent theme, my ex always said 'you don't need me' any answer was 'Yes, but I WANT you' I don't think he ever understood the difference. Thanks LiJo
"Gossip is a sign of human weakness"
AMEN
Gossip, in Jungian terms is one means of people projecting their own shadows -- the ignored, repressed and underdeveloped parts of their own personalities -- onto other people. And what they project may be quite inaccurate or even completely wrong. It often says more about the gossiper than the person gossiped about.
While an introverted intuitive will be working from their inner vision of what "could be", the greater number of extroverted sensate people around them will be watching what is immediately in front of them, and perplexed at the one who is not following the predictable, established, and "normal".
If you only worry about "What will the neighbors think?" you will never lead an authentic life of your own.
Yes exactly! Signs of weakness!
This was beautifully explained
INTJ male here. Wanted to learn more about the female version of me. I think those watching who are hearing about the romantic/partner traits she mentions towards the beginning may be going the direction of attachment style vs INTJ traits. It sounds like dismissive avoidant attachment more here than being an INTJ. Attachment theory is very fascinating stuff and I highly recommend looking into it. You will learn so much about the kind of partner you are and those that you’ve dated in the past.
Yes, more often than not, people whom we "tend" to date r not our "type "but our "pattern"
I'm definitely not preppy. Nor am I the soft, timid, mousy kind of gal. I will definitely speak my mind. I tend to act a little dorky, but that's honestly to take the edge off when I'm meeting someone new.
Lol I’m really the definition of not at all cool. I feel you on the dork factor.
Everything you just said it me! lol
Never has anyone said anything more spot on regarding INTJ’s: “Everyone wants to use us because we can figure things out and get things done very easily.” I long ago wearied of being useful. More than anything else, that returned reflection from the eyes of others has made me cynical as to the abilities of those “others”...or perhaps the lack of abilities.
Yes we are so damn useful and it’s tiring. I’m exhausted lol
As an INTJ who is much taller and stronger than average, it is very draining at work to have to constantly help people who are too weak or incompetent to do their job on their own.
For me it's usually for professional reference. Like "hey can you get me a spot in your company?" even though they are highly unqualified. And never talked to me in years. I hate that. People should be hired because of their skills not connections. Also those MLM scams, or they trying to sell something to me, coz they know I have a good career and financially stable. Ugh I just hate fake people in general. I have a very small group of friends. And they are very high quality people, and won't sell shit to me. 😂 They passed my rigid standards.
I’ve had a boyfriend try to save me... yeah didn’t work
Usually doesn’t
Lol
Lol same, like he was giving ultimatoms and shit. Poor dude -_-
Same.
The cult following thing made me laugh, but I've experienced it a few times. Some of the people around me will quote things I've said as if they're quoting a famous person. It's funny and I always thought it was weird...until now
I’m an INFJ and INTJ’s are my favorite people. They’re so honest and unintentionally hilarious.
INTP male here, trying to understand similar personality types with 1 variable off, its crazy how that one thing makes us so different, also very well articulated video overall pleasant to watch, it's rare that I ever comment and if I do it's rarely of this nature, but yeah keep it up.
INTPs and INTJs, while only a letter off, have vastly different function stacks; we differ more than most pairs.
It's been a couple of years since you released this, but I had to say this: You made feel like home, understood. I rearely find someone who actually understands the great passion I feel for my goals and how hard I work to achive them. Also, when you said "translate our brains to human talk", THAT WAS SO ME. It's what I always do with, and I say this with no offense, ordinary people, if I want them to get the idea without getting confused. I'm so proud of being an INTJ, and so happy to share that with other INTJ females! Let's keep on working hard, INTJ female fellows!
I found out yesterday I am an INTJ-A male. I also found out that we make a very small percentage of the population and that INTJ women are even more rare.
I also did a little bit of research in INTJ relationships and it seems as though we only match well with our own types. I am going to die alone XD
When she said that we sometimes adapt a cult like following I can definitely see that, as that is what basically happened to me in elementary school.
I just realized I am an INTJ. Last two times I tested I was completely different. This helps me understand myself. I started to watch a generic INTJ video, and I think it was more geared towards men, and an INTJ in female form expresses differently.
Glad it was helpful
About the heart :') that literally made me cry.. I am really tired of that .. really Can't anybody like me for who I am as a person not why I can afford for them? Sometimes I am even disappointed with my family and just think that probably they wouldn't love me for who I am if it wasn't any blood relating going on there. In my opinion one of the sad things of being an intj is this feeling.
Forever alone everyone thinks I hate them...being hella sufficient is annoying.
Great observation about the heart. I love to play and have fun. Buy cute lil sentimental gifts...but then ppl think you are weak. No... I am adorable, observant, and researched where to find a 1984 Ghostbuster car on Ebay for you sir. But now you don't value my thoughts...back to my cave to research. Where I truly feel at ease. ✨
Great video.
Thanks so much Chris :)
INTJ male here. I've only ever met one genuine INTJ female in the wild but she was great. Regardless I find myself still identifying with a lot of what you are saying even as a man. The alien comment is priceless.
Intj female here- this is VERY accurate & well-stated. Thank you.
Awesome! So glad it resonated
This is completely true. I often felt left out in a lot of things. Gossips just drain me tbh that's why my friends and I drifted apart since they gossip so much and I just yeet myself out. There was a time where I tried to pretend to be someone else. Someone really extroverted and socially active, I tried placing myself in a lot of topics that didn't really have my attention. So basically I was forcing myself so swallow an enormous amount of unwanted knowledge just because I wanted to fit in with everybody else. But now that I've grown quite a bit, I've learned that being different is ok. And thank the heavens since I found some friends that I can invest my time and knowledge in. We talk about scientific theories, societal and environmental problems. I feel more comfortable talking with them than others since I'm not very keen on doing small talk.
"Manic research"...so on point.
Another video where I could relate to another INTJ. Thank you for articulating our inner experience so well.
Awesome, glad it resonated. That’s why I’m here :)
I’m INTJ-t also Asperger’s so I’m double 👽
being a rare personality type. asperger's is very similar to an intj personality so dont get that mixed up
WRONG
found a gem
Congratulations LiJo! As an INTJ woman, you really know and nailed 100%our genuine INTJ character traits therefore you can count on my sincerest cooperation to work with you without hesitation in our INTJ adventures.
I'm an INFJ, Gf is an INTJ. love and value her so much. Would do anything to keep it working.
As a mature ENFP male, I'd really love to have another INTJ woman as my life partner (aka wife). I lost one to triple negative breast cancer in 2018.
We were a couple for 5 great years. We would return from shopping or an outing, being engaged in one of our rich conversations, content to just sit there and talk.
It was wonderful.
As an optimist, I believe and pray she will find me or I will find her one fine day.
I will be patient and wait for her.
INTJ females represent!
Heck yes! Hey Emily!
Wow, you're so pretty!
I find communication is so frustrating but important especially in workplace. I have spent time in studying coaching, taking courses and understanding the most effective strategies to communicate and make people feel happy. I still care about other's feelings and genuinely don't mean to hurt them. I treat every conversation as a way to learn about human being so I can make things work out as the way I plan, to reduce barriers and conflicts that waste time. I find that communications and how to influence others has an effective mechanism behind, coaching is definitely one of the most effective ways. I strongly suggest you guys to learn the methods so we can display less emotions from heart, but still be able to be perceived as nice, empathetic and approachable. (Perhaps I am not an INTJ afterall, but I think these might still help)
So true. I would like to tell you how much I have enjoyed your videos. I only just found them a few weeks ago, but it has been thoroughly enjoyable to be able see another person I can actually relate to. You have also opened up new research material for me to delve into ( much to the chagrin of my family). My son, an ENTP, had me take the test and after taking it a few dozen times to test it's accuracy and on a dozen different platforms and getting the same response INTJ, started doing more research into the personality typing. Through watching your videos and the people who you connect with I am enjoying learning everything and feel like this is really helping me to make sense of my quirks and be aware of the pitfalls so I can avoid them. So, long story short, thank you and keep up the good work.
As an INTJ female, I agree with you so much! Especially the part where you describe our heart as soft ice cream with a cover of candied dark chocolate…
This made me feel so much better about myself, as an INTJ and wanting to make sense of literally EVERYTHING, I feel like hearing our personalities explained with so much detail and accuracy is the best thing ever, especially when we sometimes feel like we're perceived as cold hearted aliens. The child-like heart thing too, so spot on...
can relate, that's also why I am looking up for INTJ content haha
1. Yes!
2. During highschool, I almost never knew who was dating who, or I might know but just didn't care.
3. Once upon a time I didn't come home during 2 weeks holiday and prefered to stay at uni to work on my thesis.
4. I cry if my family members raise voice at me, but with others, I am like unemotional steel. I still chilled down even when one of my coworker cursed at me.
5. 28 years of living and results only around ten people considered real friends.
6. Lolol. That's why I often say, "do you understand what I am saying?"
7. Yep. We are called mastermind, after all.
I really enjoyed watching this. I’m an INTJ but could never really think of how to explain to others and you do a great job. It’s also refreshing to her like minded people to know I’m not as much of an outsider as I’ve felt.
That’s exactly why I have this channel. It feels good to feel a little more understood.
EnFp here. Just want to say thanks for all the work you all have done for humanity and truly appreciate that your powerful minds on our side. It's actually comforting to know that we're not alone. The more I've learned about this group the better I feel about the future!!
The having to translate our minds' point was so precise. I'm glad you mentioned it. I've always felt like I speak a different language and not just because I'm learning my fourth one, but for the fact that I assume that my way of thinking is the norm, which is not the case here, and it's difficult to limit abstract ideas so other people can visualize something similar to what I already pictured in mind.
Besides that I'm always trying to make a point when I open my mouth but other people seem to like to be nonsensely talkative copying the popular expressions and accents at the moment. I refuse to talk like a walking meme... I mean, what the use in that?
This was so healing and comforting to watch knowing there are others out there that do understand what us INTJ's go through, it was like taking my "human" mask off
I can relate, especially when you mention that we're like aliens... Unfortunately, I haven't meet (and interact with) another 'alien' (INTJ females) in real life yet :(
For me, the hardest thing about being an INTJ woman is the conflict between enjoying the fact that others value you for your competence and feeling used by those same people for solving their problems for them, or creating the environment in which THEY can thrive.
And hello again, another wall of text might be coming your way, I'll see once the video is finished.
1. Independence: I have this and I have not, but that is due to my depression mostly. As soon as I am depressed, I am in dire need of help and emotional stability, as the constant thoughts I have all the time as an INTJ get too much and too dark and hateful towards me. So I need someone to drag me out of this state. However, as soon as I am in a better mental state, I will refuse help whenever possible. I do not like taking money or food when offered, not even from my friends and often not even from my partners (poly with two bfs). I have learned to accept some help for them as I do also help them sometimes, but I will still refuse this help sometimes and only cave in bc I care so much about them.
2. No interest in small talk/gossip, and so on. I agree to I think 90% with this. I do not mind if a person I value starts their conversation with something like "How are you?", bc I know that coming from these people the question is heartfelt and not an empty saying. The rest of small talk can kiss my ass however. Gossip is for me sometimes, but only in very specific cases. Recent example: a former friend I was the first to see through their lies, was very hurtful towards my friends, people under my self claimed protection and was therefore a vile thing not worthy of any sympathy. Once my friends actually noticed her false and sly behavior and cast her out for it, I bonded over them in talking bad about her, as it gave both me and my friends an outlet for our frustration, because I would rather gossip and talk bad about her to get her out of my system than having her in my thoughts any more than necessary. If the gossip is a means to make me more efficient faster, then i am all for it.
3. Obsessing over something and forgetting everything and everyone around as for x-period of time. I do have this, mostly as I work on art. I might spend way over 20h folding a book, sometimes 5h without pause for anything, and my friends have to expect that. Glad/relieved there is a point I can just wholeheartedly agree with without questioning my being as an INTJ.
4. Another easy agree, I am very soft inside, though most people do never see that. So far, only my two partners have seen the full extent of my heart. I was being used for a long time of my life by false friends and finally having people around me that truly appreciate me makes me open up a bit more than I used to.
5. Again, easy agree: I have a semi large group of people I consider "pals", these are people I enjoy spending time with, but do not open up to completely. These are at this point far more than I ever had in my life and does remind me of the cult like following you described, as I do seem to be important to quite a lot of these. This may be bc they are all introverts and nerds, so that does make us already more compatible than most people. At this point in time I do not consider any of them friends, as the only two people of my current social group I called that are now in a poly relationship with me. I might be too strict with whom I call friends, but that is something I came to terms with. I use the word friends for my "pals" when talking to other people, as it confuses them less.
6. I will ask my pals/friends how they see me, that might be awkward for them but should be very interested.
7. Glad that this is the last point as the last ones have been feeling redundant as I was mostly/completely agreeing with you (I might be an INTJ after all xD). I do have this a lot, whipping myself to be better. This is a harmful thing if it comes together with depression, at least it is for me. I value my efficiency and intellect and overall mental capacities a lot, so as soon as I am in a bad mental state, instead of this inner INTJ drive making me better, it makes me so self conscious that my output gets worse and it makes me fall even deeperinto my abyss/depression.
I again thank you for the wonderful INTJ content, I will go to sleep now, I am sure I will return for another lengthy comment under another one of your videos, hoping you aren't already annoyed with the length of the ones I have written so far.
I could not relate more. It’s scary how accurate this categorization is.
This explanation is perfection. I definitely feel like an alien having to pretend to be human. I also relate to I don't need a relationship but I want a relationship. Actually you could be describing me. Thank you for stating this so articulately.
Awesome, glad it hit home :)
"INTJs have a big opponent, that is themselves"
That is so true, I always trying to get better and better than what I was yesterday, seeking ways to not fall into the void of being stuck - and sometimes falling
Lijo: **says INTJ female characteristics one by one**
Me being an INTJ female: I don't need to doubt the Mbti results anymore. 95% of what she said is true. 😭
I always thought that I was not a complete intj but hearing u just made me realize that what u described is literally me.
Sometimes becuz how diff. I am, I kinda had existential crisis and it's still hard for me to find my place in my family and friend circle.
But hearing you helped me understand that me being different is my specialty.
I just realized that Tinder is not a good app for INTJs. I dont know why i get no answer when i try to talk about trans-humanism and merging consciousness with AI, transcending, in a very "nietzschean" way, the mediocre humanity that we have now. "Man is a bridge...". They often reply "wtf? u are a transgender?". I just give up.
Terrible app for us lol
I as an ENTP feel just as bored conversing with the smooth brains on tinder also.
One of the few time's that I watch a video and I actually listen to every word of it with pure joy. Lots of love from an intj 👊
I definitely get the friends thing. I have exactly two people who I consider my real friends (neither of whom I started talking to intentionally) and I’m perfectly happy with that
I can relate so much to this. I was so happy when I finally met a friend, a true friend, who is also an INTJ and who could tell me about this. I learned so much about myself and in turn also about how others see me. At last, I don't feel like there is something wrong with me. Sure, I'm still an alien, but now I put it in perspective.
I met a fellow intj female once and the conversations we had in one setting would confuse the hell out of other people listening to us talk 😂 Not having to slow down or explain myself and just unleashing everything i wanted to say when i wanted to say it was an otherworldly experience for me :)
Yesss this happens
I’m a intj male. I have only just discovered the personality types in depth. I have always been the one on the outside looking in on others. People around me have accepted I’m not into their normal everyday activities and could not care less. I’m blunt to the point and I do not like beating around the bush as people say. When people really need something and the shit has hit the fan is when I’m called on. I’m okay with that. I’m better on my own and my free alone time is my world. It is nice to know there are others like me and to know that there are females that are injt and understand. It is hot also. Anyway thank you for doing these videos.
I am so glad I found this, I have been feeling so misunderstood and finding this makes me feel a little less weird
Welcome 👽
I'm a guy and it's almost scary how perfectly this described me. The alien part... shots fired right through the hard candy shell of my alien heart. Nailed it.