@@suedeB05there's 3200 licensed realtors in my county with a population of 100k people and less than 100 homes on the MLS. They're like fish flopping in a drying creek.
@@ethansmith7359 its reddit level condescension. honestly by meds i hope they mean weed because being high on thc is great. like 20 years ago we couldnt have even had an interaction like this, where i can ask you how the weather is because your a good person. probably amazing human being, honestly its amazing that this is possible because im a person who just doesnt care but knowing you might get a notification about this comment on youtube. like im reviewing and commenting on YOUR content, but im not getting paid for this but what is value anymore?
Thank you for saying that. There are DEFINITELY intelligent, hard working, realtors that I have a lot of respect for…a good realtor is invaluable…but it’s also kind of a joke job.🤣 I can’t think of another job like it. I got a license with less significantly less effort than it took to get a personal trainer license. I don’t even do these things for work but it’s fun to see how hard it is to get certain licensures….real estate is comically easily.😬 raise your hand if you’ve paid tens-of-thousands of dollars to someone that barely did ANYTHING to sell your house. 😬
This is why I tell people every day it takes about 30 minutes to write your own contract and get rid of an extra 3-6% of cost. At least in my state. lol
Lol I loved every bit of this rant. Tim is so fucking good at shitting on realtors. The people who were popular in high school and kind of plateaued all became realtors at some point.
So true. Imagine paying someone 42 thousand dollars to call a photographer and then let the title company and mortgage company work to handle the rest of the transaction.
Facts lol. Two professions that are not required at all. They are middle men who pray on ignorance and lazy people lol. Not their fault, but it's just the 2 mkay cringe professions. People think realtors know something they don't lol. "MLS access" haha. What a joke it all is especially in this modern time. You should be able to buy a car and buy a house from your phone tbh at this point. They make it impossible only so they can try and talk to you in sleezy salesman way and try to get a few extra bucks out of poor people who don't know how to Google
Dude I’ve said this to anyone who would listen. Specially in Long Island we leave our biggest purchase to a part time employee who knows NOTHING about their industry.
I had a realtor while shopping for my house that supposedly had an engineering degree and would say a house had forced air heating because that's what the real estate listing stated but there were obvious radiators and hot water pipes in plain sight while she said that
I had a realtor give us the most useless comparisons on our house. She was estimating it about 65k off from its actual value. Needless to say we didn't go with her. She called me about a month after we sold it with someone else cursing me out for not using her. I can see why she didn't have good business..
Not all.. but some realtors are actually smarter than Tim (and hero level people, like firefighters and retired Miami paramedics that worked with my parents). The operator of their office was an ex-captain of a Navy ship also. But yeah 99% of the ladies and men don't know or care about houses, they just do it for money (like doctors, literally)
Garage door salesman/owner. When I was kid and started this shit, I thought *REALTORS* were *GROWNUPS* with big jobs….. then I saw their lack of math skills and realized you need a pretty face and an advertising budget to be a successful realtor. Crazy that they help ppl in the course of their largest purchases.
Nurses and nurses practitioners for one. So many nurses are useless as in they cannot critically think and only are good at dispensing medications. There are also tons of nursing schools that just churn out people who can pass a test. There’s never been so many nurses in the us before
I personally cant stand realtors. I have used two in my past home endeavors and they aren't worth a damn. You do 95% of everything involved to purchase your home, the realtor gives you some DocuSigns to sign and he takes 3% off the top for doing it. Realtors are on the same level as a car salesman.
I love how because the docs you send people to docusign is the only thing they see they assume that’s all you’re doing for them. Next time don’t use a realtor if they’re pointless and see how it works out for ya.
Recovering realtor here, when I was trying to sell houses I met some of the dumbest people I’ve ever. Always trying to make it more than it was, “changing lives” and what not. Most of them made major spelling errors on contracts worth 100s of thousands.
Being a realtor is a backup plan for most normal people. Most normal people believe that they can make other normal people laugh. They think that they can live their dreams. Then they have to get a real estate license. I went and got a paramedic certificate. So there are multiple plan B's
The home and car buying process is long over due for change. Buying/selling privately doesn’t apply to this but why are we still paying outrageous price tags for a vehicle that loses so much of its value after you drive it off the lot? Why do we have to speak to the salesman, financial manager, general manager, a lender, DMV, insurance company, etc. to purchase a new vehicle? Obviously, they all get a piece of the pie when the sale goes through and it shouldn’t have to be that way. In today’s world, people should be able to purchase a vehicle from a dealership the same way you buy groceries from the grocery store. Prices should reflect real market value, and not the value set by the bankers and lenders. No more paying for the salesman’s commission, the administrative fees, the marked up interest rates from the finance mgr, no more having to go to the dmv to pay for sales tax and other fees when it could be paid at the time of purchase. I should just be able to walk in and test drive the car I want, and if I have questions I should be able to look it up at their kiosk since salesman don’t exist, and pay a fair price for a brand new vehicle and the establishment still makes a profit.
This is more of an "overall neutraI" story than anything else but I think back on it fondly. I worked in a family restaurant in my teens/early twenties and we had long heard that we were to be on the lookout for travelers that had set up just outside of town. The horror stories quickly started rolling in and it wasn't long before they were banned from every pub in town. Then things went quiet and we wrongly assumed they were getting ready to move on. That didn't happen. We should really have seen it coming but, nonetheless, we were still caught with our trousers at our ankles when one day about thirty of them rolled in and completely filled the bar area. It was a rough day for everyone but it got especially rough for me behind the bar. One guy was particularly abrasive and while everyone else let their defences down with a little bit of small talk this guy just got steadily more and more hostile as the day went on. I kept it professional and friendly, calling him "Sir", thanking him every time he gave me his money, asking him if he needed anything else or help carrying his drinks back to the table. He evidently saw my kindness as weakness to be exploited and kept stepping up the nastiness with our every encounter. It all came to a head when he finally approached the bar while I was serving someone else and shouted "right you, ginger pubes. Get over here and get me a fucking drink!" I gave him a nod. I finished serving the other customer and then I approached him with an empty plastic pint glass which I sat on the bar in front of him. He draws himself up to his full height and puffs his chest up "The fuck's this supposed to be?!?" I was just done at this point. "That's all you're getting from me for the rest of tonight. A nice talk glass of 'fuck all'. Go sit down. You're done. I'm not serving you any more. If you want any more drinks you'll need to send someone else up to get them". He then throws a fit, hurls the plastic cup at the ground beside me and eventually storms away in a rage. So now I'm feeling dumb, regretfully on-guard for the inevitable escalation but there was just no way I was taking this guy's shit in good humour any more. Whatever comes next, I'm ready for it. Or so I thought He came back with a guy easily six and a half feet tall who looks like he could have a very promising career in the WWE. He storms up full of pure, unbridled rage and I'm already braced for a bleary-eyed night in the A & E waiting room. Thankfully, he wanted to hear my side before he took action. "What's this about you not serving my brother a fucking drink? Why won't you serve him?" His brother is half cowering behind him, half flashing me a shit-eating grin that tells me how fucked I now am. I decide to try and just state my case as calmly and succinct as possible: "Well, I'll tell you exactly why. I've been serving him all day, I've done nothing but try to be as helpful as I can for him and I've treated him with my full respect. But it seems he doesn't want to give me any respect back. I greet him with 'what can I get for you sir?' and just a minute ago he greeted me with 'right, ginger pubes get over here and get me a fucking drink' which I don't appreciate. So I've asked him to send someone else up to get his drinks for him until he learns to have some respect". The big guy's face switches gear from angry to fucking livid and I find myself briefly thinking the words "so this is how I die". Then- to my complete surprise- he turns to his brother, grabs him by the scruff and slaps him across the head with a hand the size of a dinner plate. My ears ring with the force of it and his brother immediately starts sobbing like an infant! The big guy has a few choice words for him. "I'VE FUCKING TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BEFORE! WHEN PEOPLE GIVE YOU RESPECT, YOU GIVE IT BACK! I'M SICK OF THIS. YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING NO ONE HERE GIVES YOU RESPECT AND THIS IS WHY! YOU FUCKING MAKE IT RIGHT WITH THIS BOY NOW!" Through the sobs, the guy tells me he's sorry and his big brother tells him to sit the fuck down and not to come back to this bar for the rest of the night. The big guy then sat at the bar, gave me a second apology and told me how it means so much to him and his family when people treat them with respect and how it's very rare. I thanked him for the apology and how he dealt with his brother and he spent the rest of the night, chilling with me at the bar, telling me of the various girls from the neighbouring towns that he had banged, for which I offered a few congratulatory high fives. They never came back after that day.
If those jobs and others like them didn’t exist, the economy would collapse bc too many people would be broke and unable to consume 😂 that’s the truth. Bs jobs exist solely to prop up a system that has innovated itself to a point where a lot of jobs shouldn’t exist anymore…but there is nothing really to replace them with.
We had a situation with our realtor. When we finally got a lawyer and explained what happened. After hearing our case and evidence told us she (the realtor) was too dumb to sue.
I have my own real estate photography business and working with these people gives me hope. If people this braindead can own their own house/have a nice car/do decent, then so can I!
I have a real estate photography business as well and man is it a balancing act. You know they're fake when they're super nice to you but after they get their edits, they become ghosts. And God forbid they're late on a payment. Good luck getting that.
Lol then go do it. Maybe then you’ll find out why approximately 87% of them don’t make it past 2 years and let their license expire. Lol it’s one of those deceptive jobs that people don’t realize just how much effort it takes to actually make a living doing it.
@@OfficerPapi You're conflating the difficulty of the task with the stupidity of those attempting it. That's like arguing that graduating art school is hard because most students drop out. Most people prefer to think of a task as especially difficult rather than themselves especially inept.
I'm glad to see you guys putting some effort into releasing clips from the show. I don't always have time to watch to every episode, so it's nice to see these highlights from episodes I've missed. Plus it's a great way to expand your audience because stuff like this is really shareable. And it's short, so it's more digestible. Plus it's easier to go viral. I know you guys already know this, so I'll promptly go fuck myself after commenting, I just wanted to share my appreciation and desire to see even MORE clips from each episode.
That's an insanely accurate analysis of Realtors. You described every realtor I have either worked with or know personally. Lotsa alcohol and Adderall abuse also....lolzzz
A lady in raleigh, NC about 30 minutes from me put her house up for sale for under 350k, and over 50 people showed up for a showing in one day last week. Literally made World Star Hip Hop and the next day it was in the local paper, and NC news This is how fucking crazy the housing market is, and it was only because it was 50k under every other house, which means more money to out bid. what a time
Haha in Canada it's even worse, realtors really serve no purpose all they do is push home prices even further up. But like anything else if it makes people with real money (assets) happier it will continue.
when we sell our house we're gonna sell it for what we bought it for, adjusted for inflation. Houses aren't retirement plans, they're necessities. I hope that attitude can permeate, but I doubt it. I just know that I want a young couple who is interested in homesteading to have a chance at that life. I have a feeling that a lot of future young adults will be stuck in concrete shitboxes in pseudo company towns, forced to either collect unemployment, stream increasingly exploitative parts of their lives while turning into human billboards, or work the grind at amazon. We're slowly devolving into owner/borrower classes. Creeps me out.
went through 3 realtors to buy my first home and they were all absolutely terrible! just get your own real estate license and pay yourself when you buy a home is my advice
@@suedeB05 Yup, as soon as he found out he had to actually take a course & pass a test I’m sure he just stuck to a Realtors nut sack. He’s probably also the type that is impossible to work with and the Realtors were ecstatic to stop working with.
@@OfficerPapihey guys, are you okay? He never said he actually did that and this is a comedy podcast on TH-cam. Chill lmao. You're so bitter it hurts.
Real estate salespeople are why prices have skyrocketed in the housing market which is creating a new housing bubble. Collapse after collapse in the housing market is driven by coke driven realtors and unscrupulous bankers. Great video.
I've seen this happen at a property in Upstate NY. The people showing the place called cops within minutes and the person causing a scene at the open house was gone within a half hour. It's funny how crazy people suddenly become reasonable once they are threatened with arrest and criminal charges.
I did termite work for new houses. Newer houses are built like absolute scheiße. 400k for a glorified Home Depot shed. And built by alcoholics. The amount of beer cans and liquor bottles on a job sight was amazing. (Charlotte, NC area).
I have to say at least 50% of my married friend's wives became Realtors when it was time to get a job after 2 or 3 years I don't think any of them have made a dollar doing it.
Lol yup. I thought about going into real estate once but realized there was no way I could survive the first couple years. Gotta pay the bills so I guess it helps if you have a rich husband so you can go on to be another crappy agent. Haha
That’s proof that it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. Most quit within the first 2 years. It’s easy to make fun of, but once you actually do try it for yourself you realize how much effort and time it takes out of you.
@@OfficerPapi The job itself is definitely easy and the pay structure doesn't even make sense. The problem is that the market is oversaturated with realtors.
@@OfficerPapi Oh for sure. To be a GOOD realtor is definitely hard work. The crappy realtors are a dime a dozen tho and many don't make that much. That said, I've known mega successful agents who made millions each year because they had high profile husbands so scored easy high profile listings. Didn't even have to work that hard. Spent half the year on lavish vacations. I lived in a resort town and it was obnoxious. The hard working middle class agents barely scraped by.
Grew up in a part of Maryland with a super competitive real estate market and it was pre2008 so shit was wild. When we moved our realtor never found us a house to look at and my mom kept telling her we wanted to stay as close to our old neighborhood as possible. Eventually my mom found our dream house. It was the house directly next store. We fought hard not to pay commission on that.
Real estate agents and car salesman are two of the most useless jobs on the planet. And the most cringe. They are not needed are are just middle men. I hope more people see this and understand that you don't need an agent to buy or sell a house, it's not rocket science lol. And hopefully dealerships stop existing and you're able to buy directly from factory like Tesla.
Isn’t this applicable to majority of customer facing jobs in the business world? Sales, marketing, etc. We all put on metaphorical masks when we go to work and play the role we signed up for. Then when we go home we can actually be ourselves.
Yes, but I think that just points to the fact the economy is incentivizing shitty behaviour. It makes money to manipulate people, and most people don't care.
I just got my first house and my realator was super useful for me. Made my life so much easier and has even helped with some of the moving processes. There are some good eggs out there. But I guess they're in bum fuck Iowa
❤🇺🇸👦 Thanks Timmy so I guess Amy Fisher grew up and she's moved on from smashing cars & and shooting mechanics wife in the face to smashing houses sales
Unfortunately there's more bad realtors than good, the bad ones don't truly care about real estate and just want a paycheck. On the contrary, the bad ones aren't making a lot of money. Its really only the top percentile.
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This analysis is 100%correct
I have a former friend who became a realtor & it ruined our friendship because they couldn't be real anymore
Were they a FAKEtor?
@@JDIASPRODUCTIONS 🤣
They get really… shiny in the face. It’s bizarre.
@@Pushnotificationsalwaysoffbye 😂 why is that? Does Botox come with the job?!?
As a general contractor, the most important part of my job is reminding realtors how useless they are.
Except you don't actually do that to their face I bet.
Don’t bite the hand that feeds lol
@@yourdadsotherfamily3530 I work for the land owner, not the salesman.
@@suedeB05there's 3200 licensed realtors in my county with a population of 100k people and less than 100 homes on the MLS. They're like fish flopping in a drying creek.
Their lives don't slap son...
That woman is doing fake business. Pretending to be a customer the same way Tim does. Fake business is becoming as legitimate as real business.
Fake business is booming!
Take your meds kiddo
@@_..-.._..-.._ condescending much?
@@ethansmith7359 its reddit level condescension. honestly by meds i hope they mean weed because being high on thc is great. like 20 years ago we couldnt have even had an interaction like this, where i can ask you how the weather is because your a good person. probably amazing human being, honestly its amazing that this is possible because im a person who just doesnt care but knowing you might get a notification about this comment on youtube. like im reviewing and commenting on YOUR content, but im not getting paid for this but what is value anymore?
@@_..-.._..-.._lol it’s a call back to another one of Tim’s podcasts. It’s a good one
I could listen to Tim complain about Long Island and realators for hours
No one better at it
I wouls rather listen to this than political talk
We have.
Absolutely
And boomers
As a realtor myself. I can concur that the bar is wayyyyy too low💀
Is that self deprecation?
Thank you for saying that. There are DEFINITELY intelligent, hard working, realtors that I have a lot of respect for…a good realtor is invaluable…but it’s also kind of a joke job.🤣 I can’t think of another job like it. I got a license with less significantly less effort than it took to get a personal trainer license. I don’t even do these things for work but it’s fun to see how hard it is to get certain licensures….real estate is comically easily.😬 raise your hand if you’ve paid tens-of-thousands of dollars to someone that barely did ANYTHING to sell your house. 😬
@@tater6124 “ii aAm A rIChH mAan” 🤣
This is why I tell people every day it takes about 30 minutes to write your own contract and get rid of an extra 3-6% of cost. At least in my state. lol
Your'e included Luke.
Lol I loved every bit of this rant. Tim is so fucking good at shitting on realtors. The people who were popular in high school and kind of plateaued all became realtors at some point.
do u have the syndrome or nah
And probably made more money than you too.
@@OfficerPapi yeah I doubt it, otherwise they would still be doing it
@@tmac6904 found the realtors
hahahaha! So that's what happened to those type A's.....
Literally anyone can become a real estate agent. I’m getting my license soon and I’m fucked.
Only the strong survive
Lol I appreciate the honesty.
My mother in law was a realtor. She is the worst person I know.
So your husband is the 2nd worse person you know? Nature vs nurture and all....
@@Protohomo1 Yes my husband is dead from a heroin od after he tried to kill me yes. Nature over nurture? Bitch didn't nurture shit.
Are you from Florida or New Jersey?
there's no better feeling than publicly trashing a family member
lol...not sure why i laughed so much
realtor isn't a real job
it's the same as car dealerships, the only reason they still exist is because they are protected by law
Yea as someone who worked for a real estate company, its a racket to get low educated idiots to do a lot of work for almost nothing
Like Uber!
So true. Imagine paying someone 42 thousand dollars to call a photographer and then let the title company and mortgage company work to handle the rest of the transaction.
Facts lol. Two professions that are not required at all. They are middle men who pray on ignorance and lazy people lol. Not their fault, but it's just the 2 mkay cringe professions. People think realtors know something they don't lol. "MLS access" haha. What a joke it all is especially in this modern time. You should be able to buy a car and buy a house from your phone tbh at this point. They make it impossible only so they can try and talk to you in sleezy salesman way and try to get a few extra bucks out of poor people who don't know how to Google
@@johnfulton8960
42k???? What kind of commission where u paying? Lmao
What law is protecting realtors? Lmao
If you are driving around and have to take a shit, that's when an open house comes in handy.
Leave it to the real life Eric Cartman to perfectly explain what South Park just satirized.
he was so good in cash 4 gold one lmao
Dude I’ve said this to anyone who would listen. Specially in Long Island we leave our biggest purchase to a part time employee who knows NOTHING about their industry.
But they deserve 3% to shoot around some docusign docs!!! /s
I had a realtor while shopping for my house that supposedly had an engineering degree and would say a house had forced air heating because that's what the real estate listing stated but there were obvious radiators and hot water pipes in plain sight while she said that
I had a realtor give us the most useless comparisons on our house. She was estimating it about 65k off from its actual value. Needless to say we didn't go with her. She called me about a month after we sold it with someone else cursing me out for not using her. I can see why she didn't have good business..
I know it’s Tim and I should’ve expected it but the Kiev joke right off the bat caught me off guard and murdered me lol
i was born in ukraine and it got me 🤣🤣
@@vrlvx I'm sorry white people created violence in the world.
(Seriously tho I hope your family and friends over there are okay)
I had to play it twice...
It's a not funny...but funny. Crazy American sense of humor.
@@mikejohnson9118 satire my dude
As someone who grew up with a Miami realtor parent.. can confirm all this is so true.
Not all.. but some realtors are actually smarter than Tim (and hero level people, like firefighters and retired Miami paramedics that worked with my parents).
The operator of their office was an ex-captain of a Navy ship also.
But yeah 99% of the ladies and men don't know or care about houses, they just do it for money (like doctors, literally)
I thought all the children of realtors work as realtors under their parents.
@@Kigoz4Life usually egomaniacs
@@Kigoz4Life over a decade of postsecondary education and training only attracts a very particular crowd
Garage door salesman/owner. When I was kid and started this shit, I thought *REALTORS* were *GROWNUPS* with big jobs….. then I saw their lack of math skills and realized you need a pretty face and an advertising budget to be a successful realtor. Crazy that they help ppl in the course of their largest purchases.
Tim, this applies to soooooo many more careers than just realtors and agents. Mind blowing incompetence is frighteningly prolific lol
Nurses and nurses practitioners for one.
So many nurses are useless as in they cannot critically think and only are good at dispensing medications. There are also tons of nursing schools that just churn out people who can pass a test. There’s never been so many nurses in the us before
I went from insurance and lending to investment banking and can honestly say I've witnessed this same phenomenon there.
it's almost like stupid people and smart people exist in all professions.
And fake nice lol
I personally cant stand realtors. I have used two in my past home endeavors and they aren't worth a damn. You do 95% of everything involved to purchase your home, the realtor gives you some DocuSigns to sign and he takes 3% off the top for doing it. Realtors are on the same level as a car salesman.
Wayyyy worst it should be a flat fee not a % commission. Like a 500$ MAX
I love how because the docs you send people to docusign is the only thing they see they assume that’s all you’re doing for them. Next time don’t use a realtor if they’re pointless and see how it works out for ya.
When I bought my first house it was kind of a mess… my realtor definitely earned his commission
I cried when he had to plug his own realtor and say she’s a baller so she isn’t blown away by his blatant attack on her profession😂😂
I think he was just being honest he is super smart he wouldn’t work with someone that isnt really good
Recovering realtor here, when I was trying to sell houses I met some of the dumbest people I’ve ever. Always trying to make it more than it was, “changing lives” and what not. Most of them made major spelling errors on contracts worth 100s of thousands.
Being a realtor is a backup plan for most normal people. Most normal people believe that they can make other normal people laugh. They think that they can live their dreams. Then they have to get a real estate license. I went and got a paramedic certificate. So there are multiple plan B's
You’re probably normal as well with that generic name
Paramedic is decent work. You’ve done well.
The biggest realtor/ developer in my city has a kid that sexually assaulted over 7 girls
So
That realtors gonna be moving to LA to become an uber driver pretty soon
Life in the big city..
@@suedeB05 he wants us to guess where he lives i think
@@callanc3925 Then that realtor is gonna move to Vegas and keep reading self help books.
Graduated high school 10 years ago..so many former classmates are realtors 😂😂
It took me a while to realize these two weren't sitting beside each other
Its a real knife fight out there
The home and car buying process is long over due for change. Buying/selling privately doesn’t apply to this but why are we still paying outrageous price tags for a vehicle that loses so much of its value after you drive it off the lot? Why do we have to speak to the salesman, financial manager, general manager, a lender, DMV, insurance company, etc. to purchase a new vehicle? Obviously, they all get a piece of the pie when the sale goes through and it shouldn’t have to be that way. In today’s world, people should be able to purchase a vehicle from a dealership the same way you buy groceries from the grocery store. Prices should reflect real market value, and not the value set by the bankers and lenders. No more paying for the salesman’s commission, the administrative fees, the marked up interest rates from the finance mgr, no more having to go to the dmv to pay for sales tax and other fees when it could be paid at the time of purchase. I should just be able to walk in and test drive the car I want, and if I have questions I should be able to look it up at their kiosk since salesman don’t exist, and pay a fair price for a brand new vehicle and the establishment still makes a profit.
This is more of an "overall neutraI" story than anything else but I think back on it fondly.
I worked in a family restaurant in my teens/early twenties and we had long heard that we were to be on the lookout for travelers that had set up just outside of town. The horror stories quickly started rolling in and it wasn't long before they were banned from every pub in town. Then things went quiet and we wrongly assumed they were getting ready to move on. That didn't happen.
We should really have seen it coming but, nonetheless, we were still caught with our trousers at our ankles when one day about thirty of them rolled in and completely filled the bar area. It was a rough day for everyone but it got especially rough for me behind the bar. One guy was particularly abrasive and while everyone else let their defences down with a little bit of small talk this guy just got steadily more and more hostile as the day went on.
I kept it professional and friendly, calling him "Sir", thanking him every time he gave me his money, asking him if he needed anything else or help carrying his drinks back to the table. He evidently saw my kindness as weakness to be exploited and kept stepping up the nastiness with our every encounter. It all came to a head when he finally approached the bar while I was serving someone else and shouted "right you, ginger pubes. Get over here and get me a fucking drink!"
I gave him a nod. I finished serving the other customer and then I approached him with an empty plastic pint glass which I sat on the bar in front of him. He draws himself up to his full height and puffs his chest up
"The fuck's this supposed to be?!?"
I was just done at this point.
"That's all you're getting from me for the rest of tonight. A nice talk glass of 'fuck all'. Go sit down. You're done. I'm not serving you any more. If you want any more drinks you'll need to send someone else up to get them".
He then throws a fit, hurls the plastic cup at the ground beside me and eventually storms away in a rage. So now I'm feeling dumb, regretfully on-guard for the inevitable escalation but there was just no way I was taking this guy's shit in good humour any more. Whatever comes next, I'm ready for it. Or so I thought
He came back with a guy easily six and a half feet tall who looks like he could have a very promising career in the WWE. He storms up full of pure, unbridled rage and I'm already braced for a bleary-eyed night in the A & E waiting room. Thankfully, he wanted to hear my side before he took action.
"What's this about you not serving my brother a fucking drink? Why won't you serve him?"
His brother is half cowering behind him, half flashing me a shit-eating grin that tells me how fucked I now am. I decide to try and just state my case as calmly and succinct as possible:
"Well, I'll tell you exactly why. I've been serving him all day, I've done nothing but try to be as helpful as I can for him and I've treated him with my full respect. But it seems he doesn't want to give me any respect back. I greet him with 'what can I get for you sir?' and just a minute ago he greeted me with 'right, ginger pubes get over here and get me a fucking drink' which I don't appreciate. So I've asked him to send someone else up to get his drinks for him until he learns to have some respect".
The big guy's face switches gear from angry to fucking livid and I find myself briefly thinking the words "so this is how I die".
Then- to my complete surprise- he turns to his brother, grabs him by the scruff and slaps him across the head with a hand the size of a dinner plate. My ears ring with the force of it and his brother immediately starts sobbing like an infant! The big guy has a few choice words for him.
"I'VE FUCKING TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS BEFORE! WHEN PEOPLE GIVE YOU RESPECT, YOU GIVE IT BACK! I'M SICK OF THIS. YOU'RE ALWAYS COMPLAINING NO ONE HERE GIVES YOU RESPECT AND THIS IS WHY! YOU FUCKING MAKE IT RIGHT WITH THIS BOY NOW!"
Through the sobs, the guy tells me he's sorry and his big brother tells him to sit the fuck down and not to come back to this bar for the rest of the night. The big guy then sat at the bar, gave me a second apology and told me how it means so much to him and his family when people treat them with respect and how it's very rare. I thanked him for the apology and how he dealt with his brother and he spent the rest of the night, chilling with me at the bar, telling me of the various girls from the neighbouring towns that he had banged, for which I offered a few congratulatory high fives.
They never came back after that day.
If those jobs and others like them didn’t exist, the economy would collapse bc too many people would be broke and unable to consume 😂 that’s the truth. Bs jobs exist solely to prop up a system that has innovated itself to a point where a lot of jobs shouldn’t exist anymore…but there is nothing really to replace them with.
"It's a real knife fight out here"
We had a situation with our realtor. When we finally got a lawyer and explained what happened. After hearing our case and evidence told us she (the realtor) was too dumb to sue.
I have my own real estate photography business and working with these people gives me hope. If people this braindead can own their own house/have a nice car/do decent, then so can I!
Don't compare yourself. Especially the facades realtors are taking
I have a real estate photography business as well and man is it a balancing act. You know they're fake when they're super nice to you but after they get their edits, they become ghosts. And God forbid they're late on a payment. Good luck getting that.
Not if you aren't a boomer. That ship has sailed, and it was filled with refugees.
Realtors are miserable humans
who would have thought selling a thing people really want would be easy?
Lol then go do it. Maybe then you’ll find out why approximately 87% of them don’t make it past 2 years and let their license expire. Lol it’s one of those deceptive jobs that people don’t realize just how much effort it takes to actually make a living doing it.
@@OfficerPapi I already have a better job
Nice subtle flex bait. GJ
@@OfficerPapi Most don’t make it cause it’s oversaturated with morons. It’s a joke
@@OfficerPapi You're conflating the difficulty of the task with the stupidity of those attempting it. That's like arguing that graduating art school is hard because most students drop out. Most people prefer to think of a task as especially difficult rather than themselves especially inept.
Buyer agent, seller agent, buyer lawyer, seller lawyer, buyer bank, seller bank, managing agent, coop board. Parasites.
I'm glad to see you guys putting some effort into releasing clips from the show. I don't always have time to watch to every episode, so it's nice to see these highlights from episodes I've missed. Plus it's a great way to expand your audience because stuff like this is really shareable. And it's short, so it's more digestible. Plus it's easier to go viral. I know you guys already know this, so I'll promptly go fuck myself after commenting, I just wanted to share my appreciation and desire to see even MORE clips from each episode.
My wife is one🍿😂
I'm one but just so I didn't have to pay these scum when I bought a house lol.
@@raramcgee4982 the seller pays the buyers agent commissions.. no?
@@ggmedina1188 yes they do, but it’s build into the selling price. Nothing is free
@@unitaper it’s not added onto the sales price though.
@@ggmedina1188 why wouldn't it be? You both need the realtor to make the transaction.
We have more realtors than houses for sale. These vultures would feast on a financial crisis.
That's an insanely accurate analysis of Realtors. You described every realtor I have either worked with or know personally. Lotsa alcohol and Adderall abuse also....lolzzz
A lady in raleigh, NC about 30 minutes from me put her house up for sale for under 350k, and over 50 people showed up for a showing in one day last week.
Literally made World Star Hip Hop and the next day it was in the local paper, and NC news
This is how fucking crazy the housing market is, and it was only because it was 50k under every other house, which means more money to out bid.
what a time
Haha in Canada it's even worse, realtors really serve no purpose all they do is push home prices even further up. But like anything else if it makes people with real money (assets) happier it will continue.
when we sell our house we're gonna sell it for what we bought it for, adjusted for inflation. Houses aren't retirement plans, they're necessities. I hope that attitude can permeate, but I doubt it. I just know that I want a young couple who is interested in homesteading to have a chance at that life. I have a feeling that a lot of future young adults will be stuck in concrete shitboxes in pseudo company towns, forced to either collect unemployment, stream increasingly exploitative parts of their lives while turning into human billboards, or work the grind at amazon. We're slowly devolving into owner/borrower classes. Creeps me out.
This makes me feel like my real estate experience was normal.
'I mean if you think Kiev is bad. .'
Great line Tim!!
Tim’s passive aggressive comments about Gas Digital will always make me chuckle
In the South Park ep Cartman was a ‘good’ realtor because he took a good picture infront of a green screen lol
Great bend in his back
“I’m taking an eye test here” bahahahhahahaaaa 🤣🤣🤣
A realtor job is usually commission-based. So that's why they'll hire anyone
Well thats the problem ,! Who the hell decided it should be in % ???? Get rid of that crap and make it a flat fee
“You thought Kiev was bad!” LOL
This lady is hilarious
What is a realtor really doing to earn such a high commission? Open the door and show the home. It's mostly a copy and paste contract.
We need more content of Tim complaining about Long Island
As someone who specializes in fake niceness I take offence
hahahaha I fucking hate real estate agents
Just discovered my retiree career: Realtor! Thanks, Tim. I’m perfect for it.
"to hell you're not! Why don't you stop flapping your mouth?"
/hand gestures/ "long island"
lol Tim and his quick non-explanatory explanation 😂
The Bar for Reality is even lower these days...
I can take 5g of mushrooms and keep my shit together better than when I see what "normal" people are up to these days.
@@pearz420 Lol, 😂 Likewise!
went through 3 realtors to buy my first home and they were all absolutely terrible! just get your own real estate license and pay yourself when you buy a home is my advice
yeah you didn't get your license just to buy your own home. Lol that' didn't happen
@@suedeB05 Yup, as soon as he found out he had to actually take a course & pass a test I’m sure he just stuck to a Realtors nut sack. He’s probably also the type that is impossible to work with and the Realtors were ecstatic to stop working with.
@@OfficerPapi Spot on
@@OfficerPapihey guys, are you okay? He never said he actually did that and this is a comedy podcast on TH-cam. Chill lmao. You're so bitter it hurts.
Gotta Love Fake Business.
Realtors, special skill, sushi for open houses and forwarding Zillow links.
Real estate is a job for people who want to be rich but don’t want to get their hands dirty
Real estate salespeople are why prices have skyrocketed in the housing market which is creating a new housing bubble. Collapse after collapse in the housing market is driven by coke driven realtors and unscrupulous bankers. Great video.
This is tacitly admitting that realtors bring real value to their customers by increasing homes sale value beyond what would normally be the case.
Not gonna lie I thought they were sitting directly next to each other for a minute there.
I've seen this happen at a property in Upstate NY. The people showing the place called cops within minutes and the person causing a scene at the open house was gone within a half hour. It's funny how crazy people suddenly become reasonable once they are threatened with arrest and criminal charges.
I go to open houses just to yell about all the horrible craftsmanship.
I did termite work for new houses. Newer houses are built like absolute scheiße. 400k for a glorified Home Depot shed. And built by alcoholics. The amount of beer cans and liquor bottles on a job sight was amazing. (Charlotte, NC area).
tim is the funniest person i’ve heard speak 😂😂 every other sentence is hilarious
The fact that Tim is former CIA is hilarious
I was wondering how he had so much info
Wait what
Holy shit I've thought/said this for so long but thank you for putting it in a better form with humor than I ever could have!
most realtors have a cluster B personality disorder
Hahaha there was an ad for getting your real estate license before this video
Can you make that bigger? It‘s like taking an eye test here.
Proceeds to not reading a single word more of it.
Just pig things.
Just got sworn in today lol Tim gives me confidence I will do better than most.
just got my real estate license
I have to say at least 50% of my married friend's wives became Realtors when it was time to get a job after 2 or 3 years I don't think any of them have made a dollar doing it.
Lol yup. I thought about going into real estate once but realized there was no way I could survive the first couple years. Gotta pay the bills so I guess it helps if you have a rich husband so you can go on to be another crappy agent. Haha
That’s proof that it’s not as easy as people make it out to be. Most quit within the first 2 years. It’s easy to make fun of, but once you actually do try it for yourself you realize how much effort and time it takes out of you.
@@OfficerPapi The job itself is definitely easy and the pay structure doesn't even make sense. The problem is that the market is oversaturated with realtors.
@@OfficerPapi Oh for sure. To be a GOOD realtor is definitely hard work. The crappy realtors are a dime a dozen tho and many don't make that much. That said, I've known mega successful agents who made millions each year because they had high profile husbands so scored easy high profile listings. Didn't even have to work that hard. Spent half the year on lavish vacations. I lived in a resort town and it was obnoxious. The hard working middle class agents barely scraped by.
@@2WhiteAndNerdy lol, yes this is also true.
The gays come for Tim's humor and stay for Ben's hotness
What you call fake nice is class. Hearing your opinion it’s like an orca talking to a plankton
Grew up in a part of Maryland with a super competitive real estate market and it was pre2008 so shit was wild. When we moved our realtor never found us a house to look at and my mom kept telling her we wanted to stay as close to our old neighborhood as possible. Eventually my mom found our dream house. It was the house directly next store. We fought hard not to pay commission on that.
Did you end up paying commission?
Next *door?*
Tim. Please destroy more realtors on here as the public has no idea how much of a hustle it is and its the biggest purchase you will make
Real estate agents and car salesman are two of the most useless jobs on the planet. And the most cringe. They are not needed are are just middle men. I hope more people see this and understand that you don't need an agent to buy or sell a house, it's not rocket science lol. And hopefully dealerships stop existing and you're able to buy directly from factory like Tesla.
Lol why did I get a realtor ad watching this too
My agent blamed me for wanting to ask the seller questions, then at the end told me to find a new agent while in escrow. Husband wife “team”
What a jerk! I hope you didn’t have to give them anything
I just got an ad for a 24/7, 365 lead generating machine for FREE for realtors right before this video. Nice.
I was a realtor but never sold anything 😂 working for free
Isn’t this applicable to majority of customer facing jobs in the business world? Sales, marketing, etc. We all put on metaphorical masks when we go to work and play the role we signed up for. Then when we go home we can actually be ourselves.
Yes, but I think that just points to the fact the economy is incentivizing shitty behaviour. It makes money to manipulate people, and most people don't care.
I'm a Contractor as well. Can confirm I've yet to meet a realtor who isn't braindead.
As a realtor I have yet to meet a “contractor” that isn’t just as stupid and sleezy as the idiots I gotta work with in this business everyday. 😂🤷♂️
The whole process of buying and selling a house needs to be fundamentally transformed.
Was thinking of applying to be one. Came here before I clicked submit😅
When I bought my first house it was kind of a mess… he earned all his commission lol
As a realtor, I think you're being too nice to us. Most of us are way way wayyyyyy worse.
As opposed to how hard you had to study for your comedy license?
This Long Island market is becoming a real knife fight.
@tim I’d like to hear your thoughts on financial advisors
I just got my first house and my realator was super useful for me. Made my life so much easier and has even helped with some of the moving processes. There are some good eggs out there. But I guess they're in bum fuck Iowa
Tim appreciates a fellow fake-business woman. Respect.
The blockchain combined with various crypto companies, and other online companies like OPEN will disrupt this cesspool of an industry.
someone needs to create a social website for homeowners and buyers to communicate without middle men
Only in Long Island can this happen.
❤🇺🇸👦 Thanks Timmy so I guess Amy Fisher grew up and she's moved on from smashing cars & and shooting mechanics wife in the face to smashing houses sales
It’s a real knife fight down in Long Island
I am never going back to Long Island!
It's like a goddamn knife fight out there.
Anyone who has drivin on the Northern Parkway at 6pm on a Tuesday knows mental breakdowns are a regular thing in LI
Bahaha! always said, and seen,when everything,every job failed,become a real estate agent
Unfortunately there's more bad realtors than good, the bad ones don't truly care about real estate and just want a paycheck. On the contrary, the bad ones aren't making a lot of money. Its really only the top percentile.
Realtors are unnecessary.
Then why do 90% of buyers and sellers use them? Does everybody just like to flush 30k every time they sell a house? Lmao dumb comment